THE NUMBER ONE PRIORITY

W. L. Pew, M.D.
Monograph: International Association of Individual Psychology
Munich, Germany
August 1, 1976

Published by Greenbough Publication, 1976

Second Printing, 1977
And by
St. John’s Hospital
Marriage and Family Education Center
403 Maria Ave., St. Paul, MN 55106
612/228-3294

The number one priority is a set of convictions that a person gives precedence to; it is a
value established by order of importance or urgency, that takes precedence over other
values.

The number one priority provides a clinical method for quickly determining one facet of
the life style; it is one aspect of individual interpretation. The purpose of this paper is to
describe our clinical experience with the number one priority in private psychiatric
practice, in individual therapy, group therapy, family therapy, and in marital therapy.

“Every man is, in certain respects, (a) like all other men, (b) like some other men, (c) like
no other man.” (Kluckhohn, C., & Murray, H.A. “Personality Formation: The
Determinants” in C. Kluckhohn & H.A. Murray (Eds.), Personality in Nature, Society,
and Culture. 2nd ed. New York: Knopf, 1955, pp. 53-67).

As the Ansbachers point out in “Superiority and Social Interest,” Alfred Adler’s main
interest was in the description, understanding, and modification of the unique individual.
After every general or classificatory statement he warned of the “thousands of variations”
in the individual case. He designated, for teaching purposes only, four different types in
order, temporarily, to classify the attitude and behavior of individuals toward outside
problems. He described the four as the “ruling,” “getting,” “avoiding,” and the “socially
useful” types. Adler indicated that each type retained his style, in a self consistent
manner, unless challenged. Adler’s great contribution was his discovery of the unity of
the individual, which he called – the life style. He used the following principles to guide
him in grouping individuals into the four types: (1) the degree of their approach to social
integration, and (2) the form of movement which they developed, with greater or lesser
activity, to maintain that degree of approach in a manner which they regarded as most
likely to achieve success (in their own interpretation). We will attempt, in this paper, to
show how each of Adler’s types can be seen in any of the four number one priorities. But
Adler emphasized that it is the individual shade of interpretation that matters in the end.

Kefir and her colleagues, at the Alfred Adler Institute of Tel Aviv, described the clinical
use of the number one priority in 1971. Subsequently, a number of papers and
publications have appeared describing clinical experiences with the priority techniques
and clarifying and adding to the theory behind such techniques. Kefir and Corsini
suggested an integration of eight systems of typologies in what they called dispositional
sets. In our clinical experience, the number one priority is efficient and it is easily
understood by the people we work with. Following the teachings of Adler and Dreikurs
we (in our practice) assiduously avoid categorizing or labeling our students.

The number one priority is a bridge to understanding, to helping people understand

themselves. In our clinical experience, the number one priority is not used to classify, or
to get people into a typology, nor is it to predict their behavior. Each human being is far
too complex and unique for that. An individual’s number one priority indicates, in a
given situation, his short range goal; while at the same time it clarifies his long range
goal. The final, fictional goal of a particular person, however, is much more succinct and
idiosyncratic. The number one priority is part of the road map used in moving toward
that goal, including the pitfalls to avoid.

The hierarchy of priorities gives a further definition to the life style. The term priority
does not appear to replace any existing term in Individual Psychology. The number one
priority serves a new function; it permits a very rapid insight into the life style, which
assists getting at some of the individual’s core convictions. It also provides an immediate
way to help the person feel understood. The number one priority allows for a short-hand,
so to speak, which is helpful in clarifying interactions in intimate relationships, and most
specifically, in therapy.

The number one priority is a set of convictions that a person gives precedence to; it is a
value that takes precedence over other values. It follows that what a person values most
is what he is likely to commit himself to, and, as we will show later, this commitment is
always mistaken because of an “only if” absurdity. A number one priority is based on
mistaken conviction, value, and commitment. The least mistaken priority, never to be
fully achieved, would be based on giving precedence to social equality, fellowmanship,
and being a useful and contributing human among humans. If this priority superceded
the four number one priorities to be described, we would be seeing the truly mentally
healthy individual who is free to operate with maximal social interest and courage.

PRIORITIES DEFINED

A priority is a precedence, especially as established by order of importance or urgency.

Kefir defined four number one priorities: comfort, pleasing, control, and superiority. The
number one priority is a shorthand statement about convictions, within a life style, which
are answers to the questions “What is most important in my quest for belonging?” and
“What must I most urgently avoid?” From the point of view of the individual, the
number one priority that he consistently moves with is directly related to the negative
state that he most urgently wishes to avoid.

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Important to My Belonging To be Urgently Avoided
Comfort Stress
Pleasing Rejection
Control Humiliation
Superiority Meaninglessness

Thus, if a person’s number one priority is comfort, this means the person gives preference
to comfort over pleasing, control, or superiority based on two groups of mistaken
convictions. One group is summarized in a statement like: “Only when I am comfortable
do I truly belong.” The other group is summarized in a statement like: “The worst thing
for me is to be under stress. I must avoid it at all costs.”

Each of us has settled upon one priority, in our own hierarchy of priorities, which
supercedes all others, which takes top billing, at all times, and which is never
disregarded. This number one priority is a manifestation of our self created, self
consistent style of living. The number one priority is a theme which runs through all of
our human transactions. Our priority produces puzzling responses from others. It
interferes with our movement toward self actualization. It limits our social interest and
our courage. The number one priority represents a short range goal that the individual
always achieves, or moves toward in transactions and interactions with other people.

The number one priority must be defined in positive terms, not in terms of avoidance.
All people share the same values; the difference is in how people rank the values. Thus,
each of us values comfort, pleasing, control, and superiority. But our number one priority
indicates our consistent movement (not merely wishful thinking); movement that we
practice every day, in every transaction, and interaction. The number one priority takes
precedence over the other three; it is consistent; and it is readily identified. The
individual, with a given priority, in moving toward this goal always pays a price.

The priorities can be seen on a continuum of movement toward shorter range goals or
toward longer range goals. The number one priority of comfort, is connected to a goal of
immediate release from pressure, and seems to be on the short end of the spectrum.
Superiority, as a number one priority, would be seen on the opposite end of the spectrum.
Pleasing and control fall in between.

Short term Long term

Comfort Pleasing Control Superiority

People do not (seem to) exclude the other priorities by operating with their number one
priority. The difference is quantitative. One always achieves, or moves toward his
number one priority. People achieve the other priorities, from time to time more by
accident, and dependent upon the behavior of those around them.

A number one priority is like a calling card. It indicates, by one’s social movement, that
which the person values most. The farther a person moves, toward the “only if”

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absurdity, the more clearly engraved is the calling card. The calling card is also more
vivid when the person is in a crisis situation, or when the number one priority is much
more intense than the second, third or fourth. Conversely, the number one priority is
more difficult to pinpoint if all four priorities are closely lumped together in intensity. In
the later case, clinical experience suggests that such a person is better adjusted, operating
more freely, with a wider range of choices.

TYPES OF PRIORITIES WITH EXAMPLES

Comfort: A person’s number one priority of comfort often elicits, in the therapist, a
feeling of impatience, irritation or boredom. The person, with the number one priority of
comfort, seldom wants to change his priority; he merely wants to learn how to avoid
paying the price. The price of comfort is reduced productivity. Some of the resources
that a person, with the number one priority of comfort, may display include predictability,
being easy going, creating a comfortable environment, optimism, peace making,
diplomacy, minds own business, doesn’t emphasize differences, is easily self satisfied,
makes few demands, is mellow and empathetic. Other resources include:
considerateness, flexibility, quietness, aesthetic appreciation, and a tendency to be neither
extremist nor confrontive. On the negative side, a person with a number one priority of
comfort, tends to be impatient about waiting for gratification, is interested in his comfort,
and may be less interested in the comfort of others. He may want his own pleasure, in his
own way, and right now. He may not risk frustration; he doesn’t seek responsibility’ and
he wants to avoid expectation. He seems to have less drive. He retreats from any growth
producing conflict. In the process of taking responsibility for the comfort of others, he
may deny them the opportunity to grow. He may pursue his goal actively, like a spoiled
brat, or passively, sitting around soaking up pleasure.

Pleasing: The individual, with a number one priority of pleasing, neither respects
himself, nor does he expect respect from others. The therapist may respond to him
immediately, with approval, but, the therapist may also tune in on the sadness that
accompanies lowered self esteem. Some people, with a number one priority of pleasing,
as they become better known, evoke a much more negative response: rejection, disgust,
exasperation, intense frustration, despair, sometimes hatred. The person, with a number
one priority of pleasing, pays a price of diminished personal growth since he is always on
stage. People, with a number one priority of pleasing, tend to make contact easily; they
are perceptive, friendly, and considerate. They are often willing volunteers, flexible,
generous, peace making, non confrontive, and empathetic. They tend to fulfill the
expectations of others. They are likely to be non-aggressive. They are not likely to take
risks. On the negative side, the person with a number one priority, if he is active in
pursueing his goal, may be quite demanding. He may regularly give in at his own
expense, and when he does give, he is giving to get. He tends to see others as if they are
in control, and there is no real chance for him.

Control: A person, with a number one priority of control, may elicit in the therapist a
feeling of tension or challenge. The further he moves toward the “only if” absurdity,
(that is, away from humiliation, ridicule and risk taking) the more he pays a price of

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distance from other people, and the more he reduces his own spontaneity and creativity.
Those people, with a number one priority of control, tend to demonstrate leadership
ability; they are organized, reliable, and get things done. They are conscious of time and
tact. They are productive, practical, law abiding, and law producing. They are persistent,
and assertive. They often have a high sense of rightness; they are precise and predictable;
they are responsible, ambitious, industrious, and courageous. They have the ability to
withdraw (which can also be a negative). They are often self starters, self sufficient,
content with quietness and steadfastness.

On the negative side, a person, with a number one priority of control, may be bossy,
overly concerned with order, wanting to win at all costs, overpowering in his demands,
prone to depression and may see others as inconsiderate. In practice, we see three
varieties. There is the person who wants to control others or control situations. He may
accomplish his goal actively, as a tyrant, or passively, as “The Artful Dodger.”

A second type is more oriented to control of self: he suppresses his emotions, and thus,
he misses out on both sorrows and ecstasies.

The third type is most concerned that life doesn’t control him. With his Godlike
perfection, he depreciates others.

Superiority: The person, with a number one priority of superiority, often evokes, in the
therapist, a feeling of inadequacy, although the feelings may range from mild
sheepishness through various degrees of inferiority feelings, or guilt feelings. The
person, with a number one priority of superiority, sees others as evaluators. In his effort
to avoid meaninglessness, or nothingness, he tends to get in one up – one down kinds of
relationships. He then pays the price of overinvolvement, over responsibility, fatigue,
stress, and uncertainty about his relationship with others. A person, with a number one
priority of superiority, often has resources which include: competency, being
knowledgeable, getting the most out of life, idealism, persistence, ability to find meaning
in suffering, a strong moral sense, and a willingness to expand self for the betterment of
society.

When a group of people, who share the same number one priority, get together they often
experience many commonalities. For example, a group of people, with a number one
priority of superiority, discovered a great emphasis on: being meaningful; not wanting to
waste time; being significant; and wanting to count. Looking for fame, but not always
for self (and often for others) they have a feeling of embarrassment about the things that
would make one seem egotistical.

EXAMPLES

E.M. has a number one priority of comfort. Although he regularly puts himself in stress
situations in his work, his intimate relationships are often tenuous. In his marriage, he is
a constant source of exasperation to his wife. He refuses confrontations; he sidesteps
every effort she makes to involve him in conflict resolution. In therapy, he is a hale

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fellow, well met, who appears comfortable most of the time. He seldom reveals his true
feelings. He is exasperating to the therapist because it is so difficult to engage him in
meaningful dialogue. He regularly, and adroitly, shifts the conversation to family history,
politics, etcetera, to anything to avoid being under stress himself. Although he has been
quite productive in his occupation, his life is narrow.

S.T. has a number one priority of pleasing, with superiority a close second. She describes
herself as “a good girl scout.” In her strenuous efforts to please others, and do a good job
at it, she has neglected her personal growth. She has two failed marriages. In therapy,
she constantly seeks approval; she nods her head as she talks. The therapist finds himself
nodding in unison with her. But she is ready, at all times, to see things in terms of a
personal rejection, a personal defeat.

J.G. has a number one priority of control. A railroad engineer, he is at his best when he is
“in the driver’s seat.” In therapy, there is often tension in the air, since the therapist also
has a number one priority of control. J.G. tries to take over the interview. He is very
resistant to any kind of recommendation. His wife also has a number one priority of
control (an unusual combination in our experience). Their relationship often deteriorates
into a cold war, with periodic hot eruptions. They function best in their marital
relationship when they carefully divide areas of responsibility, and function like two
executives. Not surprisingly, their teen-age daughter is in constant power struggles with
both parents.

W.H. has a number one priority of superiority. His overcompensating, in a superior

direction, covers a multitude of inferiority feelings. His most common initial move, in
therapy, will be in the direction of putting himself above the therapist. The therapist
frequently feels (somewhat) inadequate, which, when expressed, comes as a complete
surprise to W.H.

PINPOINTING PRIORITIES

Pinpointing the number one priority is one of the best, and most efficient methods of
showing a person that he is understood. Connection is then made. Once any
discouraged, mistaken person has made a real connection, with another human, his
improvement is well on the way.

We, my colleague(s) and I, have trained ourselves to know how we feel in the presence of
a person who presents a certain number one priority. It is useful to attempt to pinpoint a
number one priority in the first few minutes of an initial interview. This shows the
student that the therapist understands something about him and can empathize with his
condition. The accuracy of pinpointing the number one priority is increased by the
presence of additional therapists, or by other people who know the student well.
Probably the most reliable way, of pinpointing the priority, is with a small group of
people who are quite familiar with one another. If the entire group reaches consensus on
the number one priority, that is usually pretty strong evidence. If a person’s number one

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priority is not obvious, at first, by the time the personal life style has been formulated, the
number one priority becomes very clear.

Another method of pinpointing the number one priority is through asking the person to
describe, in minute detail, his typical day: what he does, how he feels at that moment,
why he does it, etcetera. Usually, a person does not get beyond the first, or second, hour
of a typical day without revealing a consistent pattern. The number one priority becomes
very clear. Of course, the number one priority is often indicated by what it is the student
comes complaining about. The complaint(s) is the price he wants to avoid. Often a brief
description of the concept of the number one priority helps the student to identify his own
number one priority. Non-verbal communication, including body language, and
recognition reflexes are helpful.

The number one priority can also be pinpointed through “the back door test,” which is
described by Brown. It is a method relying on the impasse, that is, that which the person
most urgently wishes to avoid.

PRIORITIES

The number one priority provides a fast, and effective, method for forming a
bridge very early in the therapeutic relationship. If the therapist can demonstrate, to his
student, that something about the student makes sense to him, a working relationship has
already begun.

As a therapist, I depend a great deal on how I feel when confronted with a new student.
If I feel somewhat annoyed, or impatient, the student may have a number one priority of
comfort. If I feel accepting, the number one priority may be pleasing. If I feel a little
tense, or challenged, the number one may be control. If I feel somewhat tense, or
inadequate, and I find myself overcompensating to prove myself, the number one priority
may be superiority.

Another way to pinpoint the number one priority is by listening carefully to the student’s
complaints. Someone with a number one priority of comfort will describe diminished
productivity. Someone with a priority of pleasing will describe self-abnegation. A
student with a number one priority of control will describe disappointment in social
relationships, that is, not being as free to get close to others as he would like. With a
number one priority of superiority, the student will be describing some form of overload.
Most of the victims and martyrs have a number one priority of superiority. It seems if
they cannot be more competent, more right, more good, then at the least, they can suffer
more nobly.

Asking the student to provide his own examples of stress, rejections, ridicule, and
meaninglessness is another way to pinpoint the number one priority. He is then asked to
fantasize a special gift which is waiting for him if he is willing to consider repeated
experiencing of one of these four impasses. Frequently a student will describe actual,

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physical symptoms, (palpitation, difficult breathing, perspiration, nausea, pain) indicating
his rejection of the impasse.

Still another way to pinpoint the number one priority is by describing the concepts to the
student, and then asking him if he can see himself operating with one of the number one
priorities.

Yet another approach to pinpointing the priority is to ask for two or three early
recollections. The interpretation of these often provides a ready identification of the
number one priority.

Relying on other people, that either know the student well, or are psychologically
sensitive, is another method to know the number one priority. In multiple therapy, the
therapists can exchange their guesses. In group therapy, the other members of the group
help in the pinpointing process. In marital therapy, the spouse may be helpful

Finally, a completed formulation, of the personal life style, almost always delineates the
number one priority vividly.

It is important to remember that everyone has all four priorities. Everyone operates with
a hierarchy; that is, one priority first, and then the other three, in decreasing intensity. To
complicate diagnosis, even more, we became aware that people can have a certain
number one priority, and then use one or more of the other priorities as methods of
achieving the number one. One of the more difficult number one priorities to pinpoint is
that seen in a person whose number one priority is control, but who uses comfort seeking
as a method. We see every combination, although in general, one tends to see a pairing
of control and superiority, and a pairing of pleasing and comfort. In group therapy, we
work out the number two, number three, and the number four priority with each of the
group members, including the therapist.

In family therapy, we rely on the number one priorities of the parents, and often, the
number one priorities of the adolescents. The number one priority is not nearly as clear
in younger children, in our experience. It is not necessary to pinpoint, for Dreikurs’ four
goals give us ample understanding of the meaning of the small child’s behavior. We
have done a study which showed, statistically, that the child in the family is unlikely to
choose, as the number one priority, one that is different from either parent.

The number one priority is extremely useful in marriage therapy. It seems that many
people choose a marriage partner (among other things) on the basis of their number one
priority. That is, they choose a partner with whom they feel they can “be themselves.”
To be oneself is to move toward, or to achieve, the number one priority. The most
common combinations in marriage are: superiority and control; and pleasing and
comfort. But again, we see all variations. It is quite unusual to see the spouses having
the same number one priority, although in the multitude of varieties of personalities that
we see, there are those couples who are operating with the same number one priority. It
is possible to see a couple who have a number one priority of superiority, one partner

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whose emphasis is on intellectual superiority, and being right. The other partner’s
emphasis is on a certain moral superiority, gained through suffering. Two people, with a
number one priority of control, are very unusual, and they can function optimally only if
they have a clear cut division of responsibilities within the relationship.

We do not use the number one priorities to label people. We would consider it most
inappropriate to talk about a person as “a pleaser,” or “a controller.” The number one
priority represents only one facet of the life style, and it in no way describes the
complexity that is a single, whole human being. One needs to be alert also to the misuse
of the number one priority by the students. Students often misuse life style information,
for instance, asking, “What else can you expect of me? It’s my life style!” In the same
vein, a student may use the knowledge of the number one priority as an excuse to avoid
the various life tasks.

We do not see changing the number one priority as an appropriate goal in therapy.
Occasionally, if someone has made major, sweeping changes in his life style, the number
one priority seems to change. But, none of the priorities are necessarily any better, or any
worse, than the others. The final significance rests in how the person uses his number
one priority.

Our efforts are in the direction of desensitizing the student about his impasse, his greatest
fear. Our effort is in helping him accept his number one priority, with all the resources it
includes. Simultaneously, we want to help him to enlarge his repertoire of choices,
understanding clearly the price that is paid as the student moves ever more intensely
toward the number one priority.

It becomes clear that one can see the “ruling” type in all the number one priorities, and
particularly, in the number one priority of superiority, and in the number one of control.
The “getting” type is seen with any of the number one priorities, but probably, and more
commonly, in the priorities of comfort and pleasing. The “avoiding” type can be seen in
all four priorities. For example, a student, with a number one priority of comfort, may
consistently avoid all confrontations, and attempts to resolve interpersonal conflicts. A
person, with the number one priority of pleasing, will assiduously avoid any situation in
which he feels he is less likely to be accepted. The person, with a number one priority of
control, often has a considerable ability to withdraw. This can be frustrating in
interpersonal relationships, but very positive, for example, in an emergency situation
where emotionality would interfere with effectiveness. A person, with a number one
priority of superiority, can be seen avoiding through intellectualization. The socially
useful type is a reasonable goal for people with each of the number one priorities.

Like all pragmatic principles, the concept of the number one priority seems deceptively
simplistic. It is possible to look at the number one priority on an active-passive spectrum.
A person, with a number one priority of superiority, who is more active may lean towards
martyrdom or righteousness. The passive persons may lean towards saintliness and
victimization. Someone, with a number one priority of control, may move toward his
priority actively, for example, the tyrant; or he may move toward his priority passively,

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like the Artful Dodger. Someone, with a number one priority of comfort, may pursue his
goal actively, like a spoiled brat, or passively, by sitting around, soaking up whatever
pleasure may come his way. People, with a number one priority of pleasing, may be very
passive, whereas the active pleasers often become very annoying and troublesome. The
therapist has a tendency to be overly helpful, which is later followed by frustration and
despair.

The goal, in therapy then, is to help the person understand the feelings he evokes in
others, the price he pays, and then he can decide how much distance he wants, and how
much he is willing to pay. We lead him from the absurd position of “only if” (I am
pleasing, I am in control, etcetera), and help him recognize that he belongs, through his
very existence.

In brief therapy, confrontation is facilitated by pinpointing the number one priority. As a

student learns more alternatives, he also learns to develop the courage to be imperfect.
Since to be human is to be fallible, all humans will have mistaken priorities just as all
humans have mistaken styles of living. The goal is not perfection or the elimination of
all mistakes; but rather the goal is a sense of inner peace, coupled with a willingness to
cooperate, which is characteristic of a high degree of social interest and courage. Our
purpose, always then, is to stimulate social interest, and to encourage our student,
winning his cooperation, and leading him toward fellowmanship. Through the use of the
number one priority, we make connection with our student. As soon as any discouraged,
mistaken human has made a real connection with another human, his cure is well on the
way.

DISCUSSION

The number one priority is a manifestation of our self created, self consistent style of
living, and it is a theme that runs through all of our human transactions. It produces
puzzling responses from others; it interferes with our movement toward self
actualization; it limits our social interest, and our courage. We described, in this paper, a
therapeutic method, and a new set of theoretical constructs, which appear to be a
significant addition to Adlerian theory and practice. These concepts, and methods, are
logical extensions of Dreikurs’ strenuous efforts to make Adlerian therapy practical,
parsimonious, and effective. The priorities permit, in brief encounter, a challenge to the
student. For as we point directly to his direction of initiative, we also make him more
responsible for his own behavior. Priorities must be seen in a larger context; they must
be seen as part of an effort to classify, and thereby understand, behavior, particularly
interactions.

The heuristic value has been established empirically; much refinement will come with
experience, not only in using the priorities disclosure, but in thinking in terms of the
student who is constantly moving more in one direction. The priority is not always fully
achieved, but the person takes initiative, in the direction of his priority, and taking
initiative is being responsible.

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SUMMARY

The number one priority is an extremely useful shortcut to understanding the style of
living; to establishing a therapeutic relationship; to helping the student achieve
awareness; and to confronting the student with responsibility for his own behavior.
Priority concepts have many possible uses, especially in brief therapy, group therapy, and
marital therapy.

REFERENCES

Kefir, Nira. Priorities. Paper given at ICASSI, Tel Aviv, Israel, 1971.

Kefir, Nira. On Priorities. Unpublished manuscript, 1972.

Kefir, Nira. Priorities – A Different Approach to Life-Style and Neurosis. Unpublished

manuscript, 1976.

Kefir, Nira, and R.J. Corsini. “Dispositional Sets,” A contribution to Typology Journal
Of Individual Psychology, 1974, 30, 163 – 178.

Pew, W.L. Personality Priorities within a Life-Style. Paper presented at the 21st Annual
Meeting of the American Society of Adlerian Psychology, Toronto, May, 1973.

Pew, W. L. The Number One Priority. Paper presented at the 22nd Annual Meeting of
The American Society of Adlerian Psychology, Chicago, 1974.

Pew, W. L. Priorities. Paper presented at the 2nd Annual Rudolf Dreikurs Summer
Institute, Holland, August, 1974.

Brown, J.F. Practical Application of the Personality Priorities, A Guide for Counselors,
2nd edition. B & F Associates, Inc. February, 1976.

Adler, A. “The Fundamental Views of Individual Psychology,” International Journal

Of Individual Psychology, 1 (1), 5-8, 1935.

Adler, A. Superiority and Social Interest. Edited by H.L. and R. R. Ansbacher, New
York: The Viking Press, 1973.

Kefir, Nira. Priorities Technique. Communication with author, October 23, 1975.

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