Mastering Naps and Schedules

Copyright Notice:
Copyright © The Baby Sleep Site™, 2009, All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical
or electronic, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,
without permission in writing from the publisher.

Legal Notice:
While all attempts have been made to verify information provided in this publication, The Baby Sleep
Site™ does not assume any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretation of the subject
matter herein.

While The Baby Sleep Site™ publishes what we consider to be safe tips and suggestions, all The Baby
Sleep Site™ content is made available on an as‐is basis, with no warrantees expressed or implied. As
such, readers use any advice at their own risk. This publication is not intended for use as a source of
medical advice.

The Purchaser or Reader of this publication assumes responsibility for the use of these materials and
information. The Author assumes no responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of any Purchaser
or Reader of these materials.
Mastering Naps and Schedules
Copyright © 2009, The Baby Sleep Site™, http://www.babysleepsite.com

Contents
Introduction _______________________________________________________ 4
Nap Needs ________________________________________________________ 5
Awake Time by Age _________________________________________________ 6
Newborn Sleep _____________________________________________________ 7
Naps and Schedules _________________________________________________ 9
Implementing a Schedule ___________________________________________________________ 10
Sample Schedule Implementation ____________________________________________________ 12
Nap Transitions ___________________________________________________ 13
Nap Routine ______________________________________________________ 17
Sleep Associations – Is it harmful to rock your baby? _____________________ 18
How do you fall asleep? ____________________________________________________________ 18
How does your child fall asleep? _____________________________________________________ 19
Do You Need to Sleep Train? _________________________________________ 21
When to Nap Train ________________________________________________ 21
How to Nap Train _________________________________________________ 23
Lengthening Naps _________________________________________________ 25
Sleep Training Methods ____________________________________________ 28
No/Limited Crying Techniques _______________________________________________________ 28
Fading Technique ________________________________________________________________________ 28
Crying techniques _________________________________________________________________ 30

Chair Method ___________________________________________________________________________ 30
Check‐and‐console _______________________________________________________________________ 31
Example Check‐and‐Console Session _________________________________________________________ 31
Cry‐It‐Out ______________________________________________________________________________ 32
Alternative Cry‐It‐Out _____________________________________________________________________ 32
Mastering Naps and Schedules Page | 1

Crying During Sleep Training ________________________________________ 33
Transitioning From Co‐Sleeping to Crib ________________________________ 35
Transitioning From Crib to Toddler/Twin Bed ___________________________ 35
Toddlers in “Big” Beds – The “Jack in the Box” __________________________ 37
The Toddler Staller ________________________________________________ 38
Sample Schedules _________________________________________________ 39
4 Months Old _____________________________________________________________________ 39
Sample Schedule 1 _______________________________________________________________________ 40
Sample Schedule 2 _______________________________________________________________________ 40
Sample Schedule 3 _______________________________________________________________________ 41
Sample Schedule 4 _______________________________________________________________________ 42
Sample Schedule 5 _______________________________________________________________________ 42
6 Months Old _____________________________________________________________________ 43
Sample Schedule 1 _______________________________________________________________________ 44
Sample Schedule 2 _______________________________________________________________________ 44
Sample Schedule 3 _______________________________________________________________________ 45
Sample Schedule 4 _______________________________________________________________________ 46
Sample Schedule 5 _______________________________________________________________________ 46
7 Months Old _____________________________________________________________________ 47
Sample Schedule 1 _______________________________________________________________________ 48
Sample Schedule 2 _______________________________________________________________________ 48
Sample Schedule 3 _______________________________________________________________________ 49
Sample Schedule 4 _______________________________________________________________________ 49
Sample Schedule 5 _______________________________________________________________________ 50
8 Months Old _____________________________________________________________________ 51
Sample Schedule 1 _______________________________________________________________________ 52
Sample Schedule 2 _______________________________________________________________________ 52
Sample Schedule 3 _______________________________________________________________________ 53
Sample Schedule 4 _______________________________________________________________________ 53
Sample Schedule 5 _______________________________________________________________________ 54
9 Months Old _____________________________________________________________________ 54
Sample Schedule 1 _______________________________________________________________________ 55
Sample Schedule 2 _______________________________________________________________________ 55
Sample Schedule 3 _______________________________________________________________________ 56
Sample Schedule 4 _______________________________________________________________________ 56

Sample Schedule 5 _______________________________________________________________________ 57
10 Months Old ____________________________________________________________________ 57
Sample Schedule 1 _______________________________________________________________________ 58
Sample Schedule 2 _______________________________________________________________________ 58
Sample Schedule 3 _______________________________________________________________________ 59
Sample Schedule 4 _______________________________________________________________________ 59
Sample Schedule 5 _______________________________________________________________________ 59
11 Months Old ____________________________________________________________________ 60
Sample Schedule 1 _______________________________________________________________________ 61
Sample Schedule 2 _______________________________________________________________________ 61
Sample Schedule 3 _______________________________________________________________________ 61
Sample Schedule 4 _______________________________________________________________________ 62
Sample Schedule 5 _______________________________________________________________________ 62
12+ Months Old / Toddlers __________________________________________________________ 64
Sample Schedule 1 _______________________________________________________________________ 64
Sample Schedule 2 _______________________________________________________________________ 65
Sample Schedule 3 _______________________________________________________________________ 65
Sample Schedule 4 _______________________________________________________________________ 66
Sample Schedule 5 _______________________________________________________________________ 66
Shifting Schedules _________________________________________________ 67
To shift your baby’s schedule forward _________________________________________________ 67
Example Schedule Shift Forward: ___________________________________________________________ 68
To shift your baby’s schedule back ____________________________________________________ 68
Example Schedule Shift Back: ______________________________________________________________ 69
When Other Caretakers Are Involved __________________________________ 70
Additional Resources _______________________________________________ 73
About the Author __________________________________________________ 74
Appendix A – FAQ _________________________________________________ 75
Appendix B – Sleep Training Plan Worksheet ___________________________ 80
Appendix C ‐ Sleep Logs _____________________________________________ 81


Introduction
Your child may or may not be sleeping well at night, but your primary concern might
be his napping or lack thereof. Or, maybe you aren’t sure how much he should sleep during
the day or how to get him on a predictable schedule. If you are a stay-at-home parent, you
may want to get to a predictable schedule or to be able to put the baby down, so that you
can do some much needed housework. If you are a working parent, you may have noticed
when your child doesn’t nap well during the day, he sleeps worse at night and you want to
know what you can do about that.
This e-Book will help you tackle the most common problems babies and toddlers
have when it comes to napping during the day and schedules. The e-Book will cover how
much you can expect your child to sleep during the day at various ages, strategies to get
longer naps, sample schedules, and how to handle transitioning to less naps or no naps at
all. This e-Book also includes 5 sample schedules for each age from 3 months to the toddler
years (ages 1-4).
Let’s get started on helping your child nap!


Nap Needs
Babies and toddlers need naps to revitalize them during the day. We sleep to help
our brain rest and process everything we have encountered in the day, especially new
things. Babies and toddlers are learning so much every minute of every day that their brain
can get overloaded with information and over-stimulated without resting. This is one reason
napping is so important to your baby or toddler. They learn better and are happier, in
general, when they get to rest. To put it in perspective, imagine you have stayed up almost
all night and are learning to cross-stitch the next day. You will likely find yourself much
more irritable and less able to learn this new skill when you are really tired. The equivalent
of a newborn staying awake for 5 hours might be the same as us staying up all night. An
added bonus to adequate naps is that typically your child will also sleep better at night,
waking less and sleeping later in the morning.
Different babies will handle long times of being awake differently. While some will
get tired, but stay fairly happy all day and seem to just go-with-the-flow, others will become
an over-stimulated mess. Others still will get very hyper as their body fights the fatigue
hard by pumping their bodies full of hormones to give them that second, third or fourth
wind.
The average amount of sleep in 24 hours that babies and children need:
 6 months and younger: 11-12 hours at night, 3-4 hours during the day in 3-4 naps.
 6 to 9 months: 11-12 hours at night, 2-3 hours during the day in 2-3 naps
 9 to 18 months: 11-12 hours at night, 2-3 hours during the day in 1-2 naps
 18 months to 3 years: 10-12 hours at night, 1-3 hours during the day in 1 nap
 3 to 5 years: 10-11 hours, sometimes 1 nap (most lose the nap between ages 3 & 4)
 5 years+: 9-10 hours, no nap


Awake Time by Age

Below are general guidelines of how long a baby should be awake before needing to nap
or go to bed at night. All babies develop differently and phase out naps at different ages,
though, so these are just general guidelines.
When I say awake time, I am including time it takes to soothe down for sleep. The goal
is for your baby to be asleep by the time indicated, if possible. In the early days, you will
feel like all you ever do is put your baby to sleep. Don’t worry, they make it up later!
 Newborns: 45 minutes to 1 hour – I generally recommend starting to soothe down

for sleep at the 45 minute mark for them to be asleep by 1 hour.
 3-5 Months: 1 hour to 1 hour 15 minutes
 5-6 Months: 1 hour to 1 hour 30 minutes
 6-7 Months: 1 hour 15 minutes to 2 hours
 7-9 Months: 2 to 3 hours
 9-12 Months: 3 hours
 12-18 Months: 3-5 hours, depending if they are on one nap or two
 18-36 Months: 5 hours if they are still napping


Newbo
orn Sleep
The first wee

ek or so, you
ur baby will most likely spend little
e time awak
ke. The first
week or two, the #1
1 key with your
y newborrn is to keep
p wake time
es very shorrt, at first. You
Y
should so
oothe your baby for sle
eep after jus
st 1-2 hours
s of wake tim
me TOPS. You should lo
ook
for signs
s that she is getting slee
epy and start soothing her. If you wait until she is fussy,
cranky or
o crying, yo
ou are actua
ally too late!
ave more trrouble settling down and going to sleep

A overtired baby will ha
An s and
staying asleep.
a My boys
b always
s fell asleep easiest whe
en I caught them before they startted
to fuss and
a cry. Som
me babies are much mo
ore sensitive
e to being overtired tha
an others. While
W
some will barely nottice their child get sleep
py before sh
he drifts off to sleep, otthers will be
egin
e just how in tune with their baby they need to
to realize t be!
B wake time
By e, I mean to
o include fee
edings and diaper chan
nges and dis
sregard how
w
long her last nap wa
as. For exam
mple, little Suzie
S starts to nap at 8am and slee
eps for 3 ho
ours.
She eats
s at 11am and you chan
nge her diap
per. Now, it’s 11:30 and
d you decide to give he
er a
bath. At 11:45, she is fussy. Sh
he is already
y overtired and
a she nee
eds a nap! In
I the
beginning, they can’t go long before gettin
ng tired and over-stimulated.
or particularly fussy babies or just for parent’s

Fo s convenien
nce and snug
ggling, it he
elps
to “wearr” baby using a sling. Th
hey get very
y folded up in a sling, but
b it mimics the womb
b and
babies lo
ove it! I didn
n’t use a slin
ng with my first, but us
sed a BabyB
Björn Baby Carrier
C and
loved it! It really helped me wa
alk off the ba
aby weight, which was a bonus. Bu
ut, with my
second, I did use a Hotsling (th
here are many others! I have also heard good things abou
ut
y Wrap and the Maya Wrap)
the Moby W and my
m son would fall asleep
p in less tha
an 5 minute
es
until he grew
g out of it. This help
ped tremendously when
n I needed to
t cook dinn
ner and do stuff
s
with my toddler, at the time.
Mastering Naps and Scheedules Pagge | 7
Copyright ©
© 2009, The Babyy Sleep Site™, htttp://www.babyysleepsite.com

Unfortunately, some “tricks” to get newborns to nap better do create sleep

associations (see below), which is what we ultimately want to avoid! But, during the first
weeks, you really do what you can to survive and sometimes it’s just the luck of the draw as
to whether you have an “easy” or “hard” sleeper. And, having an overtired newborn is not
fun! Obviously, it never hurts to try to put your baby down to sleep without any of these
“tricks”, but it just doesn’t work for all of us, which might be what brought you to my site.


Naps and Schedules
Naps are an important component of your baby’s development and sleeping through
the night. It seems strange, but the better the baby naps during the day, the better night
sleep can be. The less likely she is overtired come bedtime, the better she can settle down
and sleep better all night. She won’t be as restless and won’t have as many night-wakings.
Many people think they should limit naps, so they will be more tired at night. This often
backfires. They might crash due to exhaustion, but most likely will either not sleep restfully,
waking often, or will wake too early in the morning.
Before your baby is on a schedule, nap your baby according to sleepy cues (staring
off into space, less active, and yawning) and avoid overtired cues such as crankiness and
eye rubbing. Once they are fussy, you are already too late! Overtiredness is the chief culprit
of short naps in a child younger than 9 months old. After 9 months of age, short naps could
be caused either by overtiredness or he needs a longer wake time before his nap. Only
experimentation can sort out which one it is. Very rarely is more wake-time the solution for
short naps in a younger baby.
A restorative nap is considered any (non-moving) nap longer than 1 hour or more.
Short naps (30-45 minutes) are common up through 6 months of age when their sleep
systems become more mature. If your baby doesn’t lengthen her naps on her own, you may
need to encourage her to do so (more on that later).

It varies widely what people believe to be a “normal” or “good” nap, so it’s important
to know what the average nap looks like. Some people think babies should sleep 3 hours
each time and others seem to think 30 minutes is enough. I remember one parent who
would keep her twins in their cribs for almost a whole afternoon (3-4 hours) because that’s
how long she thought they should sleep. Nope!
Many babies have a hard time withstanding too much overtiredness before they get
irritable and cranky to be able to be on a schedule much before 6 months. Prior to 6
months, the key to better sleep for your child is to avoid letting him get overtired.
Overtired babies have more trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. Prior to 6
months, make sure wake time is a short 1-2 hours TOPS. As soon as you see sleepy cues,
start soothing him for sleep.
Implementing a Schedule
After about 6 months, you probably want to start to nap your baby by the clock
(BTC). The benefit of a BTC schedule is not only for your benefit to plan outings and social
events, but also because it helps set the child’s “internal clock” and let’s her body know
when she can relax and sleep. Many babies thrive on a schedule and knowing what to
expect. Your schedule can be as rigid or not as you want it. With a BTC schedule, her
schedule will be roughly the same every day, based on the clock. It won’t matter how much
sleep she had the night before or what time she woke up from her last nap.
Alternatively, some parents find that their baby responds better to a “BTC” schedule
based on wake-time, not the clock. For example, your baby might do best with 2 hours of
wake-time first thing in the morning, 2 ½ hours before the 2nd nap and 3 hours before
bedtime. Typically, the first waking of the day is the shortest and they increase throughout
the day. However, sometimes the last wake time of the day is the shortest before bed as
baby has gotten very over-tired throughout the day. Experiment to find what works best for
your baby.

When your baby is young, it is often best to put her down for a nap based on when
she appears sleepy (yawning, staring off into space) and avoid over-tiredness (eye rubbing
and crankiness). However, after a certain age, it can actually hurt to put her down for a nap
too early. The age varies, but it’s around 9-10 months old, on average. Putting a baby or
toddler down for a nap before they are tired enough tends to make shorter naps. More on this in
“Lengthening Naps” below.
Ideally, all naps should be in the crib, but this will be a personal choice (not just for
you but your baby, too, as some babies simply can’t sleep “on the go”). Once your baby is
6-7 months old and on 3 naps, the third nap is often considered “optional” and usually a
short 30-45 minute catnap that most babies lose by 9 months old (if they had it at all).
Because it’s “optional”, typically we don’t worry about the 3rd nap being in the crib, but can
be in the stroller or “on the go”, if baby allows it (mine didn’t!). My first son didn’t get
“good” at a schedule until 7 ½ months when he could be up longer (he was VERY cranky if
you tried to keep him up too long and then would take short naps), so all babies are
different as to when a schedule may “work”.
Once you think your baby is ready for a schedule, the easiest way to transition to a
schedule is to increase wake time by 15 minutes every day (or every other day if you
prefer) between naps. The main problem when putting your baby on a schedule is the
increased wake time can cause over-tiredness which, in turn, can make naps short and
cause night sleep problems, too. The best thing to combat schedule changes is to make
bedtime extra early, temporarily. Once he is adjusted to the schedule, you will be able to
move bedtime back to the normal time. If you have trouble with that, see the shifting
schedules section.


Sample Schedule Implementation
Current: Wake at 6:00, Naps at 7:30, 10:00, 12:30, 3:00 and 5:00; Bedtime at 7:00
Day 1: Wake at 6:00, Naps at 7:45, 10:15, 1:00, and 3:30; Bedtime at 5:45
Day 5: Wake at 6:00, Naps at 8:00, 11:15, and 2:45; Bedtime at 5:30
If naps get too short to get to the next scheduled nap time, you might consider that
your baby is not ready for a schedule and take a step back, but often pressing forward and
“forcing” your baby to a schedule can work well, too. It helps “set” the baby’s internal clock
to stick to the schedule strictly for about a week and then re-evaluate.
If the day’s wake time gets extra early, make bedtime at least 15 minutes
earlier as your baby is getting too overtired to sleep well into the morning.
In general, do not nap your baby before 8 a.m. as that makes the nap really a
continuation of night sleep and the first waking becomes more like a “night waking”.


Nap Transitions

As your baby grows from a newborn to a toddler to a preschooler, his need for sleep
will decrease. Developmentally, your child will simply not need as much sleep as often
throughout the day. Your newborn will sleep almost all day. By 2-3 months, she will be
taking roughly 4 naps, sleeping every 1-2 hours. By 6-7 months, she will be taking 3 naps
and by 9 months, just two. On average, babies will keep two naps until 15-18 months, but
some transition as early as 10 months (rare) and some as late as 18 months. Each
transition to fewer naps comes with unique challenges for both parents and children.
Nap transitions can be difficult. Sometimes it’s more difficult on the parents than the
child. It is hard to know when you can plan outings (particularly important for stay at home
parents who want to get out of the house!) or errands when you don’t know when your child
will nap. Transitioning to fewer naps is a developmental milestone. Pushing a baby to take
fewer naps before he is ready is rarely a good idea as it will cause over-tiredness and could
cause more night sleep problems, shorter naps, and crankiness. I typically recommend
keeping as many naps as possible as long as possible as long as bedtime can remain
sufficiently early. “Sufficiently early” means between 6 and 8 p.m. up through 2 years
old. As late as 9 p.m. after 2 years old, however, all families have unique situations that
may warrant a late bedtime even younger.
Night sleep might increase, temporarily or permanently, after nap transitions as your
baby might not continue to nap the same total number of hours as before and will, instead,
shift that missing sleep back to nights. So, don’t be alarmed if your baby is sleeping longer
at night than ever has in the past. Once my eldest son transitioned to one nap, he slept 12
hours straight a few times and when he stopped napping all together, he slept 13 hours
straight for at least a couple of weeks. When he was a baby he never slept 12 hours, but
after he stopped napping, 12 hours became the norm.

By 6 months, your baby will most likely be taking just 3 naps, but some will only
have 2 from the beginning (if that’s the case, you can skip this paragraph). Your baby will
transition to 2 naps sometime between 6 and 9 months (both my kids did around 8 or 8 ½
months). The way most people start to see this transition is when your baby simply refuses
to take her last catnap of the day (for most this is sometime around 3 or 4 p.m.) no matter
how tired she might seem. During this transition, she might take 3 naps one day and just 2
another. Keep offering the 3rd nap until she routinely skips it for a solid week.
Babies transition to just one nap between 10 and 18 months, with the average being
15-18 months old. I usually recommend keeping 2 naps as long as possible because
transitioning to one nap can take months and it’s often a bear as your child gets severely
overtired. Before transitioning to one nap, you might notice your child starting to skip his
afternoon nap or push the morning nap too late to achieve an afternoon nap. If the
morning nap is longer than one hour, I usually recommend limiting the morning nap to just
one hour to allow enough time for an afternoon nap and still have a decent bedtime (8:30
or 9:00 pm at the latest). Once he starts skipping the nap no matter what you do, it’s time
to transition to one nap. There is one caveat: Some 11 month olds start to seem to
transition, but a couple of weeks later need two naps, again. This usually revolves around
the skill of walking where the milestone either keeps their mind too busy or once they start
walking, they become extra tired again due to the physical demands walking entails.
If he still gets sleepy at his normal morning nap time, push that nap 15 minutes later
every day until you are at an 11 or 12 naptime (see sample schedules). If he doesn’t get
sleepy at his normal time and you think he can handle a big jump right away, go straight to
your new nap time, but do not limit this nap length. At first, it’s common for the one and
only nap to still only be one hour or an hour and a half. Similar to how you may have done
the “nap hour” when nap training, institute a “2 hour nap” to encourage her to lengthen her
nap or at least give her 15 minutes to try to fall back to sleep. Usually, naps will lengthen
over 2-3 weeks, maybe longer for some. For some, they will never lengthen and she will
keep napping just 1 to 1 ½ hours. As long as the nap is over an hour, it’s okay. Just make
sure bedtime is early enough.

During the transition to one nap, some days your baby may take one nap and other
days take two. Allow this flexibility (if you can) so he doesn’t get too overtired. During this
transition, make sure bedtime is sufficiently early. Once they truly are only taking one nap,
try to move it to 11-12pm by 15 minutes per day. A typical schedule might be wake at 6,
nap at 11 and bedtime at 6 (6-11-6) or wake at 7, nap at 12, and bedtime at 7 (7-12-7)
Note: See more sample schedules below.
Most babies lose their last nap between 3 and 4 years old, though some will lose it
earlier around 2 years old and others may still nap going to kindergarten at 5. The timing of
the loss of the last nap varies widely. It can be brutal because come 4 or 5 p.m., you will
likely have a very cranky toddler and may be tempted to let him nap at that time.
Generally, this will cause bedtime to get too late and he will end up with less sleep than if
he hadn’t napped at all (i.e. he will sleep 10-6 or 8 hours plus maybe the one hour nap for a
total of 9 hours but if he hadn’t napped he might have slept 11-12). It will be rough, at first,
but getting through dinner and getting to a very early 6 p.m. bedtime will be your best bet.
For awhile, my son slept 13 hours straight! That was short-lived, but he hovered at 12
hours for quite some time and as he got older 12 turned into 11 which turned into 10.
Children will need 10-11 hours up through 5 years old and 9-10 hours beyond.
Even after your toddler or preschooler stops napping, it is best to have some down
time. I call it “rest time” where your child will go to his or her room (or another quieter part
of the house) and play quietly, flip through books, etc. It is a good recharge for them (and
downtime for you) to help them get to bedtime without a nap. This is a transition for many
to play alone for a lengthy amount of time. At first, we made rest time too long that
matched how long my son had been napping. He got very bored. We later made it one hour
and some days he’d still get bored, in the beginning. We decided to go shopping and we
bought special “rest time toys” and every day on his way to rest time he could choose one
of these special toys. It helped make it a little more exciting and after a couple of weeks we
phased the toys out. Later on, he requested to go to rest time on some days. We did rest
time as long as it seemed like he needed (about a year) and then phased it out when we
felt he no longer needed it.

With any nap transitions, particularly when she stops napping all together, make
sure bedtime is sufficiently early (usually 6-7 p.m.) because babies tend to get very
overtired when losing any of their naps. Some are more sensitive than others. I made a
mistake (before I knew better) with my own son and he transitioned easily but a month
later it really caught up with him and it was...let’s just say...messy. I have had other
parents I’ve given this same advice to go through a similar problem. If you think the
bedtime you’ve set is too early, it’s probably perfect.


Nap Routine

Sleep routines are important to cue your child that sleep is on the horizon and sets her
expectations. They are also very useful when you are away from home and want to cue her
to sleep elsewhere. A predictable sequence of events helps her feel comfortable and secure
in what’s going to happen each day and night. Children thrive on routine. Routines are
generally shorter (10-15 minutes) when she’s a baby and become longer (15-30 minutes or
as much as 1 hour for spirited children who need more wind-down time) as she grows into a
toddler.

A typical nap routine might include diaper, nursing/bottle/sippie (if it’s feeding time),
potty (if applicable), read a book, singing and cuddling, and then down. They are generally
10 minutes or so if there’s no feeding involved.
Whatever your specific routine is, the individual steps are unimportant. It is only
your consistency that makes your routines successful or not. Sometimes all that’s standing
in the way of a child sleeping well is a good, consistent routine.


Sleep Associations – Is it harmful to rock your baby?
Is it a bad idea to rock your baby? Can it be harmful to your baby? It depends. It is
never a bad idea to cuddle your baby and give her lots of love and affection! It's only when
rocking your baby becomes a task difficult to sustain is it a problem. It becomes harmful to
the baby if you need to continually rock your baby all night long, robbing her of adequate
sleep.
We all have sleep cycles where we go into deep sleep, then back into light sleep,
then back into deep sleep and so on (there is a lot more technical information that I am
purposely leaving out so you don’t fall asleep reading this). A baby’s sleep cycle is roughly
30-45 minutes when they are younger and will start to get longer as they reach adulthood.
For example, I know my sleep cycle is 1 ½ hours and if I sleep in increments of 1 ½ hours
(when the kids let me), I feel the best. That means, ideally, I want 6 or 7 ½ hours of sleep
per night (4 or 5 sleep cycles or more but that is a pipe dream since becoming a mom!).
You might intuitively know your baby’s sleep cycle is 30-45 minutes because that’s how
often you might replace a pacifier, for example, or every 2 sleep cycles (every 1 to 1 ½
hours). If your baby doesn’t know how to fall asleep when she wakes up briefly during the
transition to the next sleep cycle, that’s when she calls for YOU to do it for her (I look at the
clock during my transition - a habit I’d like to break). So, let’s look at this a little more
closely, with examples to make sense of this.
How do you fall asleep?
What kind of routine do you do before you go to sleep each night? Do you watch TV?
Talk to your partner? Do you read a book? Do you sleep on a pillow? These are the types of
things you associate with going to sleep each night. What would happen if your power was
out and you couldn't watch the news or read your book? Would you have trouble falling
asleep? Maybe. Maybe not. Would you have trouble going to sleep without your pillow? That
might be more likely to give you trouble. Some sleep associations are stronger than others.
What if you went to sleep with your pillow and covers and 2 hours later woke up and they

were gone? Would you be able to go back to sleep without looking for the pillow? Now let's
look at how this concept might affect your baby.
How does your child fall asleep?
Let's look at how many babies fall asleep. They might fall asleep while their mother
or father is rocking them in a rocking chair, bundled up and very cozy in their parent's
arms. Or, they may fall asleep nursing or sucking on a bottle of breast milk or formula. Or,
maybe they doze off with the simple use of a pacifier. Minus the teeth issue with breast milk
/ formula later on, there isn't a problem with any of these methods of falling asleep until it
is a problem.
From the time my son was an itty bitty baby, he loved to be walked, rocked and
nursed to sleep. He also loved napping in the moving swing. At first this was not a problem.
He would fall asleep quickly and we'd put him down. But, several weeks later, I found
myself rocking him for 2-3 hours each night to put him to bed. He'd fall asleep easily, but
then when I put him down he'd wake up! Ah! And, then I'd need to repeat it every 1-2
hours when he woke up. It was exhausting! And, I didn't understand why until later on
when I learned about sleep associations.
The problem with sleep associations lies in the fact that your baby needs YOU to
recreate the environment in which they fell asleep. YOU become their "pillow" and when
they wake up through sleep transitions (that we ALL have!) and their pillow is gone, they
don't know how to go back to sleep.
So, the key is to allow them to go to sleep the same way they will wake up
periodically throughout the night. If they wake up briefly and find you gone or the
movement has stopped (as with my son) or their pacifier is gone or...they will wake up
more and have to call out to you so you can "help" them once again. "Find my 'pillow',
mommy and daddy!!"

I want to reiterate that rocking your baby, using a pacifier, nursing or drinking a
bottle before bed, etc. are not bad things to do. If you don't mind rocking your baby for 10
minutes and he falls asleep, you transfer him to his bed (or take him to bed with you) and
he sleeps all night, then there is no problem. It's only when you can't keep up with the
sleep association that it becomes a problem.
Keep in mind that your sleep fragmentation that makes you exhausted is no better
for your baby than it is for you. If you are cranky, don't you think she will be too over time?
I would have LOVED to rock my son to sleep every night and boy did I try over and over
(unintentionally -- just in my nature). We slipped back into bad habits more times than I
want to count, but it just became a hitch for him EVERY time. In the end, I was able to
continue to nurse him to sleep once he learned the necessary skills to go BACK to sleep
throughout the rest of the night, but he did have to learn those first. With opportunity and
practice we can all learn a new way to sleep, even without a pillow!
Some nursing mothers start to believe they should wean because the baby is
becoming dependent on nursing to go to sleep. Please do not wean for this reason alone.
Babies can form a sleep association with nursing, but just as easily form one with a bottle,
too. Either way, the key here is that baby learns to fall asleep on his own regardless of food
source. I successfully nursed both my sons for 13 months and also helped them learn how
to fall asleep without it. Once they knew how, if I nursed them to sleep some nights, it was
not a big deal.


Do You Need to Sleep Train?

Only you will be able to answer this question 100%, but I can tell you that if you or
your baby’s health is suffering, you should probably sleep train (and I don’t mean cry-it-out,
I just mean help your baby learn how to fall asleep without “help” that might not be working
anyway). What I mean about health suffering is sleep deprivation, crankiness and irritability
(yours or your baby’s), depression (post-partum or otherwise), etc. You might not notice
being fully alert taking care of your baby or you might find yourself not driving your
precious cargo around safely. Some parents feel they are simply less effective (i.e. they
might sit around on the couch and watch TV rather than interact much with their baby) and
want to make a change. Whatever the reason, YOU will know when you should make a
change. Adequate sleep is required for your baby’s health and development.

When to Nap Train
Typically, it is not recommended to start formal sleep training until at least 4 months
old. However, every parent must decide for herself when the best time to start for your
baby. You know your baby best! For younger babies, there is an alternative method
described below. However, under 2 months of age it is highly recommended to do whatever
you can to help your baby sleep and do not even employ the sleep training variation. Some
parents (particularly if they have a very challenging sleeper but have other kids to tend to),
decide to start at 10 weeks old only to find it doesn’t work and try again at 12 weeks with
great success. So, if you do start early, you may need to monitor closer and reassess
sooner than recommended below. I based when to start sleep training my sons when
it seemed the way they were falling asleep became a preference, rather than a
necessity. In other words, when they were 6 weeks old, I could tell they needed my help
to fall asleep. Later on, I recognized when they wanted it, but my “help” was only getting in
the way of better sleep.
It is never too early to start routines and set the stage for healthy sleep habits,
though. It does not hurt to try to put your baby down drowsy, but awake from birth, but of

course many babies may not actually fall asleep on their own. Also, I highly recommend not
running to baby at the slightest whimper. It is common for babies to re-settle themselves
and when you get to them too quickly you might actually wake them up or at the very least,
inhibit their ability to learn how to self-soothe back to sleep when it’s possible they may
have re-settled on their own. I know at 2am, 1 minute feels like 20, so watch the clock.
Ideally, it is best to sleep train by 7 months or so because as babies get older, habits
will die harder. I have seen parents feel they started too late by just having waited until 8
months. But, every parent must feel comfortable in their decision, too. I do believe parents
struggle more once baby can pull up and stand in her crib, though. Of course, if you are
reading this and your baby is already older, don’t fret! You, too, can make changes!


How to Nap Train
It is unlikely that breaking sleep associations and changing rules on how a baby goes
to sleep will be met without at least some protest. You are changing all they have known for
however long you’ve been putting them to sleep the way you have been. They may not like
it, at first, just like you may not like to learn how to stop sleeping with a pillow. But, with
time and consistency, we all can learn a new way to sleep. We can all learn a new
skill (way to sleep) with time, patience, commitment and PRACTICE! You cannot expect to
make changes without allowing them to practice the new skill, just like riding a bike. If you
always hold on, they will never learn to balance themselves.
All of the below methods I describe will indicate that you do your baby’s bedtime
routine and then put him down DROWSY, BUT AWAKE. Ideally, drowsy is when baby is just
about asleep, eyes closed and when you put him down he re-settles himself and goes to
sleep. We are not always successful at achieving the perfect drowsiness level, but you want
your baby as relaxed as possible before you put him down. However, you do not want to
take an hour to do this, either. Most nap routines are about 10 minutes and bedtime
routines about 20-30 minutes (longer for colicky or spirited children who need more
soothing). Do not make routines so long that you are putting baby down too late just to get
the perfect drowsiness because then he will become overtired making it harder to fall asleep
and probably lead to more crying.
During initial “training” you should opt for an earlier naptime, not a later one. Many
people figure they will keep baby up longer in hopes of “tiring them out” only this backfires
because baby will be overtired and overtired children have more trouble falling asleep and
staying asleep (have I said that enough times yet?). They also cry longer and harder.
This is even true after you train. Depending on how sensitive your baby is to overtiredness,
he may be going to sleep just fine for 2 weeks and then cry hard one night and you’ll
wonder what’s wrong. This could mean naptime was too late and he was overtired.

If baby falls asleep during the routine, some people feel they need to jostle the baby
awake in order to make sure they are semi-awake when they go into the crib. I disagree.
This is unnecessary. Just try to put him down sooner in the process next time. However, if
your problem is a short nap and not the initial naptime, I do encourage parents to start the
nap how they expect the rest will go. If you put baby all the way to sleep at naptime and
then when he wakes up during a sleep cycle and you let him cry, for example, this is
confusing to baby and, in my opinion, unfair. He should fall asleep initially at naptime the
same way he is to go BACK to sleep the rest of the nap. In fact, learning how to fall asleep
at naptime can and will pave the way for him to know how to go BACK to sleep. Note: Some
babies master going TO sleep much sooner than going BACK to sleep, though. Similarly,
with any of the below methods, you should handle naptime and mid-nap-wakings using the
same method.

If you are using a crying sleep training method, you should limit crying to 1 hour
(some do up to 1 ½ hours if they have a persistent child or she is *this* close at the 1 hour
mark). If she does not sleep in that one hour, get her up and try again one hour later. Do
not wait until the next scheduled nap time as that is too long and she will be overtired.
After 5-6 months of age, I recommend a “nap hour” for the first 2 naps of the day in
which your baby is in his/her crib for one hour, sleeping or not. This encourages her to go
back to sleep after a short nap. This also gives you a break to take a shower or eat or just
relax. Your frame of mind is also very important in being an effective parent day in and day
out. Your baby will get used to having a set “nap hour” and will come to expect it.
At first my son would wake up and fuss/cry for 15 minutes (he was a 45 minute
napper), then he started waking up and playing and then he woke up, played and then went
back to sleep and then finally kept sleeping through that 45 minute mark most of the time.
I have recommended this to many parents and it really works!


I usually recommend starting training with nights and then work on days. Some
people like to do both at the same time to be consistent, however different parts of the
brain handle day and night sleep. So, actually, you can continue to rock/nurse/etc. to sleep
for naps and not at bedtime and nights. I recommend starting with nights because parents
usually see results much faster at night, compared to days, giving you confidence to stick
with it. Naps can take up to 2 weeks or longer while some of the methods above can take
only 3-4 nights. Once you start to see progress, you will have more wherewithal to continue
with the training. Also, at night you have very little doubt your baby is tired, so that will
help you stick to it and not second guess yourself.

Lengthening Naps

There are three primary reasons for short naps:
1. Developmental - Short naps are common up through 5-6 months old while the brain is
developing. If your baby is past this age, he should be able to nap longer. Of course, all
babies are different and other things do impact naps. And, sometimes, a baby will take
three 45-minute naps, for example, until she fully transitions to two naps (around 8-9
months old), so that is something else to keep in mind, depending on the age of your baby.
2. Not enough opportunity - Many times, a baby wakes up crying when he isn't done
sleeping and instinctually, we go in and get them. We may even wait a few minutes, but we
are confident he won't go back to sleep "wailing like that." But, many times, they can go
back to sleep if we give them enough opportunity. As I mentioned above, the “nap hour”
typically helps keep you to a goal to allow your baby enough time to go back to sleep. This
is an effective method for many parents to lengthen their baby's naps. If nothing else, at
least you know you have exactly one hour to do what you need to do around the house, etc.
There are some babies who literally fight going back to sleep until the 55-minute mark and
then fall asleep (happened to me before, too), so it's important to give them enough time to
go back to sleep. Some people have gone as long as 1 hour 15 minutes, too, depending on
their baby. If my son sounded really close to going back to sleep at the hour mark, I'd wait

a few more minutes, just in case. If you don’t want to allow too much crying, try to re-settle
your baby and redo a “mini routine” and lay him back down to encourage him to go back to
sleep.
3. Not the right timing - The third main reason a baby takes a short nap is that they are
either under- or over-tired. Over-tired is the more common problem in babies under 9
months old, but not always. When a baby is taking two naps, the schedule/routine is
typically 2 hours awake, 2 1/2 to 3 hours awake until the second nap, then 2 to 2 1/2 hours
awake until the third nap, and then another 3 hours awake until bedtime. Roughly, that is
something like this:
7:30 - Wake
9:30 - Nap
1/1:30 - Nap
4/4:30 - Nap (Only 30-45 minutes catnap typically)
7:30 - Bedtime
When a baby is just taking two naps, we typically need to spread out the naps, so he is not
overtired at bedtime or take short naps the rest of the day. That might look more like this:
6:30 - Wake
9:30 - Nap
1:30/2 - Nap
6:30 - Bedtime
Note: See the sample schedules for more ideas.
Depending on your situation, you might start spreading out his naps a bit more, if he's only
going to take two naps. Try 3 hours awake, instead, and then also start leaving him alone a
bit more if/when he wakes up early from his nap.

4. A lot of night sleep – A less common reason for short naps is a lot of night sleep. Night
sleep is more restorative than daytime sleep, so we do want to maximize night sleep;
however, if there is enough night sleep, it can limit how much your baby can nap. A baby’s
total sleep in a day will average about the same amount so, for example, if your baby
sleeps a total of 14 hours in a day, on average, and sleeps 12 hours at night, she may only
need two hours of naps per day and that means if she is still taking three naps, they won’t
all be an hour long. Babies need a lot of sleep, so this is less common, but something to
definitely keep in mind when setting your expectations. Some babies are more adaptable
than others to move this sleep around where you can limit night sleep to achieve longer
naps, if desired, but not all babies sleep well when they are woken up every day. It just
depends on your needs as a family and your baby.


Sleep Training Methods

No/Limited Crying Techniques

Fading Technique
The "fading" technique is when you do help him/her to sleep, but you have
guidelines/rules and you are slowly allowing him/her to learn how to fall asleep on
his/her own. He may cry, but it's with you there and you do what you can to limit
any crying. So, for example, the first night you might do your routine and put him
down in his crib (or in bed with you as I did) DROWSY, BUT AWAKE...pat his/her
back, sing to him, ssshhh...you might even pick him/her up if he is getting too upset,
but the main rule is he falls asleep in the crib (or next to you), not on you, not
rocking, not nursing, not “doing” the primary sleep association you are trying to
break. The next night (or 2nd or whenever you are comfortable), you might graduate
to doing less patting, singing, etc. or you might not pick up at all. The next night you
might verbally soothe, but no touching (or vice versa). The next night maybe you
are just sitting there, etc. This method takes more time, patience and consistency
than other methods, but it can work with your commitment. Some babies do just get
more frustrated with you there, but the main key is he starts to learn how to fall
asleep without your “help”.
When I did this with my eldest son, I nursed him in our glider and then I took him to
bed with me (we had been co-sleeping). I laid him next to me to fall asleep. Anytime
he’d cry, I’d pat him a little (not too much because we were trying to break the
movement and nursing-to-sleep habit), sing and ssshhhh him. It took us TWO LONG
HOURS for TWO NIGHTS but by night 3 he did it in just 20 minutes and on the 4th
night in his crib with NO CRYING! We later had setbacks (and more setbacks and we
ultimately did end up using a crying method, but with son #2, we never had to and
used this same method), but that was our first step in achieving 10x better sleep for
all of us. I tell you this to show you that it’s not for the faint of heart. Those 2 hours

were very frustrating for both of us when I knew he’d be asleep in 2 minutes if I just
nursed him. He took to sucking on my sheet (and later a light receiving blanket I
slept on that became his lovey for 2-3 months. He never took a pacifier nor sucked
his thumb. I got lucky!). I have recommended this method to many parents who do
not wish to let their child cry. It works for some and not others. Your commitment
and ability to stick with it is the primary driving force in the success behind it along
with your baby’s temperament. I recommend writing your plan down ahead of time,
so you will stick with it. You can always tweak it, but thinking it through helps to
commit to it.
Pros: Very limited crying

Parent doesn’t feel like she is abandoning her baby
Cons: Most likely will take a lot longer than other methods from a couple weeks to
several months making it hard for the parent to stick to 100%.
Might be easier to slip back to old habits after illnesses, traveling, etc.


Crying techniques

Chair Method
This is a variation of the fading method above, but usually you allow more crying,
but with you right there. Typically, you do not interact much with your child with this
method, but are only there to reinforce that you have not left him/her alone.
The first night you will place a chair as close to the crib/bed as possible, sit on it and
soothe with your voice when (s)he is crying. After a night or two, you move the chair
a bit further. Another couple of nights later, you move the chair even further, etc.
until the chair is out of the room and you are leaving her alone to fall asleep on
his/her own. You will want to reiterate the same words over and over, so your baby
learns that the words mean go to sleep. You might say things like "It's okay. I'm
right here, but it's time for you to go night night. I love you." This is a good method
to choose especially if you have an aversion to allowing a baby to cry alone in his/her
room. If progress is too slow, you may want to limit much talking whatsoever with
your baby as any positive or negative attention typically encourages the crying to
continue.
Pros: Parent doesn’t feel like (s)he is abandoning his/her baby
Cons: Most likely will take somewhat longer than other methods.
May be more difficult for the parent to stick to “watching” their baby cry.


Check‐and‐console
Some know this as “The Ferber Method” or “Ferberizing”. This method is a crying
method, but you go in and check on baby at intervals until she falls asleep (for naps
limit crying to 1 hour). The first night you go in after 5 minutes (or 3 if you are more
comfortable), then 10 (or 5), then every 15 (or 10) minutes. Every night you
increase each interval by 5 minutes and you treat all night-wakings the same (after
any feedings, if applicable). When you go in to check and console you are to
reassure her, but not pick her up and certainly not help her to sleep because this is
what she is learning to do on her own! This is an important note because many times
the parent thinks they are supposed to soothe the baby to sleep, but the idea is only
to check on her for your peace of mind and to reassure her that you have not
vanished.
Pros: Usually only takes 3-4 nights for nighttime training.

Reassuring when you go check on the baby and see she is okay.
Cons: Can be difficult to go in and see your baby crying and stick to it, especially if
baby cries for a longer period of time.

Example Check‐and‐Console Session

Night 1: Put baby down DROWSY, BUT AWAKE and she cries immediately. Go in after
5 minutes, then 10, then every 15 until she falls asleep. Treat all night-wakings the
same way (after any applicable feedings, if necessary).
Night 2: Put baby down and she plays for 10 minutes and then begins to cry. Start
the timer after she starts to cry. Go in after 10 minutes of crying, then 15, then
every 20 until she is asleep. Treat all night-wakings using the same intervals.

Night 3: Put down and she plays for 10 minutes, wimpers for 5 minutes and falls
asleep. No need to go in! But, she wakes at 2am, nurses, but doesn’t go right back
to sleep. You put her down after nursing and she cries for 10 minutes and falls
asleep. No need to go in because your new intervals were 15 minutes, then 20, then
every 25.

Cry‐It‐Out
This method is where you don't go in at all. After his routine, you put him down
DROWSY, BUT AWAKE and leave him to fall asleep on his own. For nighttime
training, you do not limit the crying because you don’t want to teach baby to cry for
a predetermined amount of time. For naps, you limit to 1 hour.
Pros: Usually only takes 3-4 nights for nighttime training.

Many people feel that check-and-console just riles up baby more during the
visits and therefore, feel this method leads to less crying overall.
Cons: Very difficult to not go in if baby is crying for a lengthy amount of time.
Difficult not to “see” they are okay, unless you have a video monitor.
Alternative Cry‐It‐Out

This method is typically for younger babies (6 months and younger) and it takes a lot
of time, patience and consistency, but can work and would be well worth it in the
end. You do a routine described above and put baby down DROWSY, BUT AWAKE
and leave him be for 20 minutes (crying or not). If he does not sleep, get him up and
try again 30 minutes later. Repeat until they get the hang of falling asleep on their
own. It is a learning process.


Crying During Sleep Training
Please keep in mind that the crying during sleep training is protesting the change in
how they are falling asleep (“I don’t want to sleep without a pillow! Why are you making
me?!”). You are not abandoning him. And, you are not MAKING your baby cry; you are
LETTING him cry. Big difference! You are allowing him to learn how to fall asleep;
something we all must learn. And, it is perfectly fine if you don’t want to allow your
baby to cry. Just use another method. Also, some people do feel the difference between
a method such as the Chair method when you are *with* your child while she might be
“protesting” rather than leave her alone to cry. Everyone defines “cry it out” or crying
during “sleep training” differently. You can find the method that will work for your
philosophy. It is only important that you promote healthy sleep habits for the both of you.
There have been no studies (zero!) that have shown crying “damages” a child either
physically or emotionally. Our relationships with our children are very complex and no one
thing you do (or don’t do) is going to affect trust or security or anything else in your
relationship with your child (barring the purely heinous crimes that I won’t mention in
detail). It is the combination of all we do that builds the trust, security and
confidence in our children.
Some people want you to believe that letting your baby cry is cruel and will cause
damage. But, let’s face it, not all babies are “easy” sleepers. Some babies are more strong-
willed than others and some need to blow off some steam before bed. It is unhealthy for
babies to have fragmented sleep, just as it is unhealthy for you. It is up to each parent to
decide whether it is better for her to lose hours of sleep just to avoid some tears or not.
But, in reality, the crying is much harder on the parents than the baby. It is all worth it
when baby wakes happily from a good night’s rest. For years to come your baby will protest
rules that you make such as “no candy before dinner” and this is similar to that. You are
making rules for your baby and babies thrive on routine and limits. She will slowly start to
understand, over time, that you are doing what’s best for her by allowing her to get the
sleep she needs.

I, personally, ended up using a crying method for my eldest son and never once
regretted it. I honestly know there was no alternative. Years later, he is a great sleeper, but
still afraid that going to bed means he will miss something very exciting and still doesn’t
want to go to bed! I remind myself one day I will have to drag him out of bed when he’s a
teenager.
As with many other things, the amount of crying varies by baby. Some cry 5-10
minutes and sleep the rest of the night while others can cry for 1-2 hours or more and
continue to wake up a few times in the night. It is important to be 100% committed and
stick to it for one solid week before deciding it is not working.
While your baby is crying, it sometimes helps to occupy yourself with something else
like a shower, laundry, etc. If it will help, make yourself a mantra to get through it. An
example might be “Should I go in there? No. Because (s)he would have cried all that time
for nothing and that’s not fair. My waffling is not fair. What is the alternative? Only what has
not worked so far. (S)He needs to learn to sleep.”
Once you start a crying method, be careful about “giving in”. It is really difficult to
know whether you are 100% committed until you are going through it, but when we allow
them to cry for an amount of time and then “rescue him”, we basically guarantee that much
crying, or more, next time. Believe me, I know how hard it is! This is only a warning to try
to 100% commit to any method for a week before you decide it isn’t working. If you have a
particularly difficult case, however, don’t hesitate to take a break if you both need one. It
may or may not make it a little harder down the road, but sometimes you really do just
need a break from it all.

Many people are convinced their baby will be one who cries all night and then are
pleasantly surprised when she cries 15 minutes. No, I’m not going to promise you YOURS
will only cry 15 minutes. The longest crying session I know about is my own. My first son’s
longest crying session was 2 ½ hours. That was the worst night, but everything was 10
times better after we got through those first few days. No doubt my waffling leading up to

that point actually promoted more crying due to my prior failed attempts. I did not
understand the importance of 100% commitment that I’m trying to share with you today.

Transitioning From Co‐Sleeping to Crib
When transitioning from co-sleeping to a crib, first, make sure to spend some non-
sleep time in your baby’s room and crib. Play with him, read books, etc. This will help him
feel comfortable in his room. Second, sleep on a light receiving blanket for a night or two so
it smells like you and this will give him comfort while he sleeps alone (Note: You must do
what you are comfortable with. Due to the SIDS risk, I only did this after 4 months old.
Please review with your pediatrician if you have doubts about when to do this). Finally, use
one of the methods above to help him learn how to fall asleep on his own. I typically
recommend a slower (and non-crying) approach the longer you’ve been co-sleeping as it’s a
big change for your baby. It will take longer, but you will be better able to stick to it and be
consistent and your baby may have an easier time coping with the big change.

Transitioning From Crib to Toddler/Twin Bed

On average, most people transition their toddlers to “big” beds around 2-3 years old.
The main challenge with a big bed is the imaginary boundaries. For some younger toddlers,
they simply are not ready, developmentally, and some don’t feel as secure without the
comfort of the enclosure.
For a smoother transition, involve your toddler in purchasing the bed (and furniture,
if applicable) such that she is a part of this big transition. It will get her excited about it,
too. It is important to take into consideration your child’s personality when transitioning. My
son, for example, was very adverse to change. Transitions are hard for him, even today. So,
we transitioned over a period of a month. We had a baby on the way and started decorating

his new room with a Cars® theme. We involved him and took our time getting it ready. It
built up the event. We spent time in his new room during non-sleep times, too.
When we felt he was ready (because he was finally asking to sleep in there), we
moved his crib into his new room, too, and gave him the option of either the bed or the crib.
Toddlers love choices! He chose the bed, but I felt good knowing we’d have the crib, just in
case he woke up in a panic. He never did and never did sleep in his crib again. Perhaps we
were lucky. I do believe that bedtime routines are very important. He was already
comfortable in his routines and so the only change was the room & bed he was sleeping in.
If your child is not adverse to change or transition, some “pull off the band-aid fast”
by just switching to a bed one day. They may count down with a calendar and celebrate
with a small party in the room, complete with balloons. Or, they surprise their child with a
new room when she didn’t know it was even going to happen. Either way, make it a big deal
in a positive way to get your child excited about it.
Some children feel a bit uneasy, at first. My son did too. It’s normal. Some will say
not to stay with your child until he falls asleep, so you do not set that expectation every
night. I think that is good advice, however, I do think we, as parents, need to also give
them security. I do think it is possible to stay with her until she is asleep for a few days to a
week and then work your way up to leaving sooner and sooner in the process (similar to the
Fading method above). If she is feeling uneasy, let her know you will be back in 5 minutes
to check on her if she isn’t asleep yet. And, then make sure you go back after 5 minutes. It
builds trust and she knows you are there for her. I do not recommend staying with her until
she is all the way asleep for too long a period of time (i.e. a month), for example, and then
expect it to be an easy transition to leave earlier in the process.
Finally, it is also normal for your toddler to go through a phase of having his door
open (if it was closed in the first place). He feels connected to the household and it gives
him security. As long as it doesn’t hinder his ability to sleep, allow him this freedom as long
as he stays in bed and follows any other rules you set. The phase will end, eventually.

Toddlers in “Big” Beds – The “Jack in the Box”

If your toddler is repeatedly getting out of bed, rather than sleeping, and you have
ruled out a schedule problem (i.e. bedtime is too early) or security problem, you have
several options:
1. Use one of the above methods and put a gate at the door. Some parents feel a
gate at the door is cruel, however, another way to think of it is an extension of
the crib and now the whole room is one big “crib”. It is the imaginary boundaries
without the crib that many toddlers struggle with. If your toddler is a climber,
some parents put two gates on top of each other to avoid climbing over.
2. Use the “return to bed” method. You should first take the opportunity during the
day to talk about not getting out of bed. You may also want to implement a
sticker chart to reward good behavior. For each day or night she stays in bed,
she gets a sticker and after so many stickers, she gets a small (that won’t break
your bank) toy or treat (my son liked little matchbox cars). If she does get out of
bed, return her to bed without talking or interaction. Any positive or negative
reinforcement will continue the behavior, so it’s important to return her to bed
business-like. This takes a lot of patience, but with consistency and
determination, will work in the long run. The first two days are typically the
hardest with many returns to bed, but usually after that, with consistency, things
should improve.
It may come to pass that she is sleeping well and then reverts back. You may
have to reassure her the first time, but then stick with the non-interactive return
to bed subsequently so you don’t end up back in the same place once again.

3. If your child likes his door open, you can make it a rule he can have his door
open as long as he stays in bed. Be consistent! Their job is to test. If he gets
out of bed, then the door closes. You must follow through with any “threat”. A
variation to this method is to use a method such as “check and console” above,
but with the door. If he gets out of bed, you close the door for 3 minutes and the
re-open it. If he gets out of bed, you move up to 5 minutes. Then, you can do it
every 10 minutes after that. After just 2-3 nights, most toddlers will stay in bed
(if the door being open is important to him).
The Toddler Staller

Ah! So, your toddler is stalling. This is normal, but can get out of hand if you allow it
too much. Some ideas to curb this are to set firm limits and use keywords. I always used
“Last”; “Last book”, “Last time”, “Last hug”, etc. If your child is taking too long brushing his
teeth or playing around, just set firm limits that “At 7 o’clock, we are done with reading
books, even if we haven’t read any.” It might only take one time to be “too late to read
books” for him to know next time he needs to be a good listener and get his pajamas on
when mommy or daddy tells him to, for example. Or, if he is playing a game, you say “Last
time” and then stop the game and move on to the next step of your routine. Once he
recognizes his numbers, you can use the digital clock to help reinforce what happens when
it’s “Seven zero zero” while pointing to the clock.


Sample Schedules

All sample schedules reference daily nutritional goals. Please review these with your
pediatrician! These goals were obtained by a combination of the book Super Baby Food by
Ruth Yaron and the website Kelly Mom (http://www.kellymom.com), a comprehensive
breastfeeding resource.

4 Months Old

At this age, many 4 month olds are still waking 1‐3 times to eat at night (or every 3 to 6 hours, variably).
Anything more and likely you have a sleep association problem. Babies at this age can go 2‐3 hours
between feedings. My boys seemed to need to eat every 2 hours for a fairly long time (they were both
breastfed). Typically, formula‐fed babies can go longer between feedings than breastfed babies, but all
babies vary. In many ways, we want them to eat more during the day than night, anyway, so don’t worry
if they can’t go long between feedings.

I am in the camp that breast milk or formula should be the primary nutrition in the first year and I,
personally, didn’t start solids until 5 ½ to 6 months with my boys, but we all do what’s best for our
family situation, and if you want/need to start solids at this age, below are the daily recommended
amounts. You will start with just 1 teaspoon of cereal at a feeding and work your way up.
Goal per day:
 5‐6 breastfeeding sessions per day, on‐demand, or 20‐24 oz breast milk in a bottle or 3‐5 6‐8 oz
formula bottles per day or a combination
 Water is typically unnecessary as breast milk and formula has plenty. If your baby has any
constipation issues, focus on “P” foods (pears, prunes, etc.)
 1‐2 servings baby cereal (1 serving = 1‐2 Tablespoons)
 1‐2 servings fruit (1 serving = 1‐2 Tablespoons)
 1‐2 servings vegetable (1 serving = 1‐2 Tablespoons)


Sample Schedule 1

This schedule assumes baby can stay up 1 hour 15 minutes before needing to sleep again. At this age,
wake‐time should be 1‐2 hours TOPS, to avoid baby getting overtired. This also assumes baby can go
about 2 hours between feedings.

Time Description Notes
6:30 Wake and Breast Milk or Formula
7:15 Breakfast
7:45 Nap Usually 30‐60 minutes
8:15‐8:45 Breast Milk or Formula
9:45‐10:00 Nap
11:45‐12:00 Nap Usually 30‐45 minutes
4:45 Nap 30 minute catnap
5:45 Begin Bedtime routine
6:15 Breast Milk or Formula and Bedtime
6:30 Goal to be asleep
10‐12:00 First nighttime feeding Many babies can go 5 hours by this
age, but some can’t
1‐3:00 Second possible feeding Feeding should be 3+ hours later
4‐6:00 Third possible feeding Feeding should be 3+ hours later

Sample Schedule 2


7:15 Breakfast
8:30 Breast Milk or Formula
10:00 Nap

6:15 Begin bedtime routine

Sample Schedule 3


7:30 Breakfast
3:45‐4:00 Nap 30 minute catnap


Sample Schedule 4


7:30 Breakfast

Sample Schedule 5


7:30 Breakfast

6 Months Old

At this age, some 6 month olds can sleep all night without a feeding, but many 6 month olds are still
waking 1‐2 times to eat at night. Anything more and likely you have a sleep association problem (aside
from the 6‐month growth spurt that should only last a few days to a week).

personally, didn’t start solids until 5 ½ to 6 months with my boys, so keep that in mind with the amounts
of solids below. For example, at 6 months, my boys would not have been eating as much listed below
until closer to 7 months. This is just a guide and there are many people who start solids as early as 4
months. We all do what’s best for our family situation.
Goal per day:
 5‐6 breastfeeding sessions per day, on‐demand, or 20‐24 oz breast milk in a bottle or 3‐5 6‐8 oz
formula bottles per day or a combination
 Water is typically unnecessary as breast milk and formula has plenty. If your baby has any
constipation issues, focus on “P” foods (pears, prunes, etc.)
 1‐2 servings baby cereal (1 serving = 1‐2 Tablespoons)


Sample Schedule 1

Baby is still taking short naps, can stay up 2 hours, and sleeps 12 hours at night

8:30 Breakfast
4:30 or 5:00 Nap 30 minute catnap
5:30 Dinner
12‐2:00 First (and possibly only) nighttime Feeding shouldn't need to be earlier
feeding than 12‐3 a.m. (5+ hours from last
milk / formula feeding)

Sample Schedule 2

Baby is still taking short naps, can’t yet stay up 2 hours, and sleeps 11‐11 ½ hours at night

7:30 Breakfast
8:00 Nap 30‐60 minutes

7:00‐7:30 Goal to be asleep

Sample Schedule 3

Baby is still taking short naps, can stay up 2 hours, and sleeps 11 hours at night

7:30 Breakfast
1:15/1:30 Nap 30‐45 minutes
4:00 Catnap 30‐45 minutes
5:00 Dinner


Sample Schedule 4

Baby is napping at least one hour for the first 2 naps, can stay up 2 hours and sleeps 12 hours at night

8:30 Breakfast
9:00 Morning Nap At least one hour
11:30 Lunch
1:00 Early Afternoon Nap At least one hour
5:00 Dinner
3:00‐5:00 Second possible feeding Feeding should be 3+ hours after the
first

Sample Schedule 5

Baby is napping at least one hour for the first 2 naps, can stay up 2 hours and sleeps 11‐11 1/2 hours at
night

6:30 Wake, ½ Breast Milk or Formula feeding,
cereal with breast milk / formula & fruit,
and other ½ Breast Milk or Formula
feeding
4:00 Catnap 30‐45 Minutes
5:30 ½ Breast Milk or Formula feeding, dinner,
and other ½ Breast Milk or Formula

feeding
12‐3:00 First (and possibly only) nighttime Feeding shouldn't need to be
feeding earlier than 12‐3 a.m. (5+ hours
from last milk / formula feeding)
3‐5:00 Second possibly feeding Feeding should be 3+ hours after
the first

7 Months Old

At this age, some 7 months olds can sleep all night without a feeding, but many 7 month olds are still
waking 1‐2 times to eat at night. Anything more and likely you have a sleep association problem. At this
age, most babies take 3 naps, but some babies only take 2.

personally, didn’t start solids until 5 ½ to 6 months with my boys, so keep that in mind with the amounts
of solids below.
Goal per day:
 At least 5 nursing sessions per day or 30‐32 ounces formula or combination
 Although some say 4‐6 oz of water is okay, I usually discourage it at this age
 1‐2 servings baby cereal (1 serving = 1‐2 Tablespoons dry)
 1 serving dairy (1 serving = 1/3‐1/2 cup yogurt or 1/4 cup cottage cheese)
 You can also offer cooked egg yolk (but no egg whites until 1 year old due to allergens)


Sample Schedule 1

Baby is taking 3 naps, can go 3 hours between feedings, and sleeps 12 hours at night

8:15 Breakfast
9:00 Nap At least one hour
4:00 Nap 30‐45 minute catnap
5:30 Dinner

Sample Schedule 2
Baby is taking 3 naps, can go 3 hours between feedings and sleeps 11 ½ hours at night

7:30 Breakfast
8:30 Nap At least an hour

Sample Schedule 3

Baby is taking 3 naps, can go 3 ½ hours between feedings, and sleeps 11 hours at night

7:30 Breakfast
5:00 Dinner

Sample Schedule 4

Baby is taking 2 naps, can go 3 ½ ‐ 4 hours between feedings, and sleeps 11 ½ hours at night

8:30 Breakfast
12:00 Lunch
2:00 Afternoon Nap At least one hour
6:00 Dinner

3:00‐5:00 Second possible feeding Feeding should be 3+ hours after the
first

Sample Schedule 5

Baby is taking 2 naps, can go 3 ½ ‐ 4 hours between feedings, and sleeps 12 hours at night

breakfast, and other ½ Breast Milk or
Formula feeding
5:00 ½ Breast Milk or Formula feeding,
dinner, and other ½ Breast Milk or
Formula feeding
5:45/6:00 Begin bedtime routine
3‐5:00 Second possibly feeding Feeding should be 3+ hours after the
first


8 Months Old

At this age, many 8 months olds can sleep all night without a feeding, but some are still waking 1‐2 times
to eat at night (mostly just one, which you might need to encourage). Anything more and likely you have
a sleep association problem. At this age, many babies are still taking 3 naps, but some babies are on the
verge of transitioning to just 2, if they haven’t already. This is a common age for nap issues and
particularly, fighting naps, in general.

Goal per day:
 At least 5 nursing sessions per day or 30‐32 ounces formula or combination
 No more than 4‐6 oz of water (to ensure they drink enough breast milk or formula)
 2‐3 servings baby cereal or grains (1 serving cereal = 1‐2 Tablespoons dry and grains include
Cheerios, 2 crackers, etc.)
 2 servings fruit (1 serving = 2‐3 Tablespoons)
 1‐2 servings protein (1 serving = 1‐2 Tablespoons)
 1 serving dairy (1 serving = 1/2 cup yogurt, 1/3 cup cottage cheese or 1 oz grated cheese)

Some of these sample schedules have the same description as 7 months, but have been changed for
more variety / options especially since babies can often stay up longer as they get older.


Sample Schedule 1

Baby is taking 3 naps, can go up to 3 hours between feedings, and sleeps 12 hours at night

6:30 Wake; ½ Breast Milk or Formula,
Formula
11:45 ½ Breast Milk or Formula, lunch, and
other ½ Breast Milk or Formula
5:30 ½ Breast Milk or Formula + Dinner
6:15 ½ Breast Milk or Formula and Bedtime
2‐5:00 (Possible) Nighttime feeding

Sample Schedule 2
Baby is taking 3 naps, can go 3 hours between feedings and sleeps 11 ½ hours at night

7:00 Breakfast
11:00 Lunch
5:00 Dinner

Sample Schedule 3

Baby is taking 2 naps, can go 3 ½ to 4 hours between feedings, and sleeps 11 hours at night

7:00 Wake
7:00/7:30 Breast Milk or Formula
8:30 Breakfast
12:30 Lunch
5:30 Dinner

Sample Schedule 4

Baby is taking 2 naps, can go 3 ½ ‐ 4 hours between feedings, and sleeps 11 ½ hours at night

Formula feeding
12:00 Lunch
5:30 ½ Breast Milk or Formula, Dinner, and

Sample Schedule 5

Baby is taking 2 naps, can go 3 ½ ‐ 4 hours between feedings, and sleeps 12 hours at night

Formula feeding
6:00 ½ Breast Milk or Formula feeding,
dinner, and other ½ Breast Milk or
Formula feeding

9 Months Old

At this age, many 9 months olds can sleep all night without a feeding. Some babies do need one very
early morning feeding up through a year, but I typically recommend at least an attempt at night‐
weaning. At this age, most babies have transitioned to 2 naps.

Goal per day:
 At least 3‐4 nursing sessions per day or 26‐32 ounces formula or combination of both
 2 servings baby cereal (1 serving = 1‐2 Tablespoons dry)
 1‐2 servings grain (1 serving = 1/2 slice bread, 2 crackers, 1/2 cup Cheerios, or 1/2 cup whole
grain pasta)
 2 servings vegetable (1 serving = 2‐4 Tablespoons)

Sample Schedule 1

Baby is taking 2 naps and sleeps 12 hours at night

Formula
5:30 ½ Breast Milk or Formula + Dinner
6:15 ½ Breast Milk or Formula and Bedtime
5:00 (Possible) Nighttime feeding

Sample Schedule 2

Baby is taking 2 naps and sleeps 11 ½ hours at night

7:00 Breakfast
11:00 Lunch
5:00 Dinner

Sample Schedule 3


9:00 Breakfast
12:30 Lunch
5:30 Dinner

Sample Schedule 4

Baby is taking 2 naps and sleeps 11 ½ hours at night

Formula feeding
12:30 Lunch


Sample Schedule 5


breakfast, and other ½ Breast Milk or Formula
feeding
12:30 Lunch
6:00 ½ Breast Milk or Formula feeding, dinner, and
other ½ Breast Milk or Formula feeding

10 Months Old

At this age, most 10 month olds can sleep all night without a feeding. Some babies do need one very
weaning. At this age, babies are taking 2 naps. A small number of babies will transition to one nap at this
age, but I typically recommend keeping 2 naps as long as possible.

Schedules at 9 and 10 months don’t vary that much except that your baby will likely have an easier time
staying up until the next nap time. I have provided additional schedules down below for a variety.

Goal per day:
 No more than 6‐8 oz of water or juice (to ensure they drink enough breast milk or formula)
 2 servings (1 serving = 1‐2 Tablespoons dry) baby cereal
 2 servings grain (1 serving = 1/2 slice bread, 2 crackers, 1/2 cup Cheerios, or 1/2 cup whole grain
pasta)


Sample Schedule 1


Formula
6:00 Dinner

Sample Schedule 2

Baby is taking 2 naps and sleeps 11 ½ hours at night with a late schedule

9:00 Breakfast
12:30 Lunch
6:30 Dinner


Sample Schedule 3


9:00 Breakfast
12:30 Lunch
6:30 Dinner

Sample Schedule 4

Baby is taking 2 naps and sleeps 11 ½ hours at night with an early schedule

Formula feeding
12:00 Lunch

Sample Schedule 5


feeding
12:30 ½ Breast Milk or Formula, lunch, and other ½
Breast Milk or Formula
5:30 ½ Breast Milk or Formula feeding, dinner, and
other ½ Breast Milk or Formula feeding
6:15/6:30 Breast Milk or Formula and Bedtime

11 Months Old

At this age, most 11 month olds can sleep all night without a feeding. Some babies do need one very
weaning. At this age, babies are taking 2 naps, but some will start to transition to one nap in this month.
I typically recommend keeping 2 naps as long as possible. At this age, you might need to do a little more
nap management to keep 2 naps by making sure morning naps end early enough to get an afternoon
nap.

Goal per day:
 No more than 6‐8 oz of water or juice (to ensure they drink enough breast milk or formula)
 2 servings (1 serving = 1‐2 Tablespoons dry) baby cereal
pasta)

Sample Schedule 1


Formula
7:30 Bedtime

Sample Schedule 2

Baby is taking 2 naps and sleeps 11 ½ hours at night with an early schedule

7:30 Breakfast
11:30 Lunch
5:00 Dinner

Sample Schedule 3


8:00 Breakfast
11:30 Lunch
5:30 Dinner

Sample Schedule 4

Baby is taking 2 naps and sleeps 11 ½ hours at night, starting to transition to one nap

Formula feeding
10:15 Morning Nap 1‐2 hours (may need to wake after 1
hour to ensure 2nd nap is taken)
12:30 Lunch
3:30 Afternoon Nap 30‐60 minutes (may need to wake
by 4:15 to ensure early bedtime if
baby needs 3 hours until bedtime)
4:30 Breast Milk or Formula + Snack
5:45 Dinner

Sample Schedule 5

Baby is taking 2 naps and sleeps 12 hours at night, starting to transition to one nap


feeding
10:45 Morning Nap 1‐2 hours (may need to wake after 1
hour to ensure 2nd nap is taken)
12:30 Lunch
3:45 Early Afternoon Nap 30‐60 minutes (may need to wake
by 4:15 to ensure early bedtime if
baby needs 3 hours until bedtime)
5:30 Dinner


12+ Months Old / Toddlers

At this age, your baby / toddler should be sleeping all night without a feeding. At this age, your toddler is
taking 2 naps, but some will start to take just one nap. The average age to transition to one nap is 15‐18
months old. I typically recommend keeping 2 naps as long as possible. At this age, you might need to do
a little more nap management to keep 2 naps by making sure morning naps end early enough to get an
afternoon nap. And, you might need to wake her up by a certain time in the afternoon to keep an early
enough bedtime to not cause night‐waking or too‐early wake‐up in the morning.

Toddlers growth tends to slow down in the second year, so don’t be alarmed when it seems like your
toddler is eating less than when he was younger. They also tend to snack a lot and only really eat 1‐2
“meals” per day. It is common and normal for dinner to be very light.

Goal per day:
 At least 3 nursing sessions per day or 16‐24 ounces dairy (milk, yogurt, cheese, etc.)
 No more than 6‐8 oz of water or juice (to ensure they drink enough breast milk or milk)
pasta) and at least one should be a serving of iron‐fortified cereal
 4 servings fruit and vegetables (1 serving = 1 Tablespoon per year of age)
 2 servings protein (eggs, tofu, meat, beans, etc.) – (1 serving = ½ ounce)

Since I gave 2 nap schedules above, I will only give one nap schedules here.
Sample Schedule 1

Baby sleeps 12 hours at night

6:45 Wake and breakfast
10:30 Lunch No one said lunch has to be at noon
11:45 Nap 1‐2 hours (some do as much as 3)
3:45 Snack
5:00 Dinner
6:30 Bedtime and Lights out


Sample Schedule 2

Baby sleeps 11 ½ hours at night

7:30 Wake
7:45 Breakfast
10:00 Snack
11:30 Lunch
12:30 Nap 1‐2 Hours (Some nap up to 3 hours)
3:30 Snack
6:30 Dinner

Sample Schedule 3


6:00 Wake and Milk
6:45 Breakfast
10:00 Large Snack
11:00 Nap 1‐2 Hours (Some nap up to 3 hours)
1:00 Lunch
3:30 Snack
5:30 Dinner


Sample Schedule 4


6:45 Wake and Breakfast
9:45 Snack
11:30 Lunch
12:15 Nap 1‐2 hours
3:30 Large Snack
5:45 Dinner
7:45 Snack Grahams + Milk

Sample Schedule 5

Baby sleeps 11 hours at night, starting to transition to no napping

7:15 Wake and Breakfast
10:30 Snack
1:00 Nap 1‐2 Hours (May need to limit
nap to keep bedtime early
enough)
3:30 Snack
6/6:30 Dinner


Shifting Schedules
Now that I have preached up and down about not letting your baby get overtired,
there is one time you may want to allow it.
If your baby is sleeping well and getting adequate rest, but waking up too early or
going to bed too late, you can attempt to shift his schedule. Keep in mind that newborns
often have late bedtimes until 7 or 8 weeks old, so this is not applicable for newborns. Also
keep in mind that shifting schedules is extremely difficult for babies younger than about 7-8
months old. They really need their early bedtime to get optimum sleep. But, older than 8
months, I usually start to recommend attempting a schedule shift.
Our internal clocks drive when we get sleepy and when we are awake (along with
hunger and other bodily systems). The idea is to shift this internal clock forward (or back),
in small increments. However, there is some trickiness to it and most people make the
mistake of only moving bedtime.

To shift your baby’s schedule forward

Start with a time of day he can most withstand some overtiredness. For most babies,
that will be the last nap of the day or bedtime. Put him down for bed 15 minutes later than
normal and shift all subsequent sleep periods by 15 minutes, too (including meals, if
necessary).
Here’s the tricky part. He may not sleep later than normal! Our internal clocks are
strong (some more than others), so he may wake at the normal time but now 15 minutes
lacking in sleep. DON’T LET HIM MAKE UP THIS SLEEP in his other sleep periods. It is
important that you have already logged his sleep to know whether you need to wake him
from naps. Unfortunately, they do get overtired during this process and it can take 1-2
weeks, depending on how much you are attempting to shift. Each day you shift by 15 more
minutes until you are at the time you desire.

Example Schedule Shift Forward:
Goal: Wake at 6:30

Current schedule: 5:00(wake)-7(nap)-11(nap)-2(nap)-5:30(bed)
Naps are 1 hour each
Day 1: 5(wake)-7:00(nap)-11(nap)-2:15(nap)-5:45(bed)
Day 2: 5(wake)-7:15(nap)-11:15(nap)-2:30(nap)-6:00(bed) only allowing 1 hr naps
Day 3: 5:15-7:30-11:30-2:45-6:30 only allowing 1 hr naps
Day 5: 5:30-7:45-11:45-3:00-6:45 only allowing 1 hr naps – Stand pat for a day
And so on...I can’t tell you how it will EXACTLY go, but you get the idea.
To shift your baby’s schedule back
You can’t control when a baby falls asleep, but you can control when you wake him
up. So, the way you shift a schedule backwards (i.e. if baby is going to bed at 10pm and
waking at 9am) is to control the wake-up time. If you fight your child to go to bed every
night from 8pm until 10 pm, for example, and then allow him to sleep in until 9am, he will
continue to have that schedule. I know you want him to get sleep, but if you’d rather he go
to bed earlier, here’s what you do.
Make bedtime the time he normally goes to sleep. Yes, I know that sounds crazy, but
hear me out. Wake him up in the morning 15-30 minutes earlier than normal (and put him
down for a nap the same amount of time earlier) and keep bedtime the same time. And,
then shift wake (and nap) time by 15-30 minutes earlier the next morning, too. One of your
goals here is to have him start going to bed easier and to sleep faster, so he’s now
associating bedtime a certain way. Keep waking him earlier and earlier until you are at the

time you desire him to get up. Also, don’t let him catch up on any sleep during any
naps!!
Once he is going to sleep quickly and by now he is probably getting overly tired,
start moving bedtime back by 15 minutes each day until he no longer is falling asleep as
quickly. Once you get to the point he takes 10-15 minutes to fall asleep, you are probably
at the right bedtime.
Example Schedule Shift Back:
Goal: Bedtime at 8 p.m., Wake at 7 a.m.

Current schedule: 9(wake)-3(nap)-8:30(bed; sleep at 10)
Nap is 1 1/2 hours
Day 1: 9(wake)-3(nap)-10(bed)
Day 2: 8:30(wake)-2:30(nap)-10(bed) – don’t allow nap to go longer than normal
Day 3: 8:00-2:00-9:30 – don’t allow nap to go longer than normal
Day 4: 7:45-1:45-9:15
Day 5: 7:30-1:30-9:00
Day 6: 7:15-1:15-8:45
Day 6: 7:00-1:00-8:30
Day 7: 7:00-1:00-8:30
Continue with the schedule until he is obviously tired by 8 p.m. or you are at a
schedule you like or can live with.
I can’t tell you how it will EXACTLY go, but you get the idea.


When Other Caretakers Are Involved
If you are working mom or require other people to care for your child for some other
reason, there are unique challenges involved. Here are the most common issues and
suggestions on what you can do about them:
 Baby is napping better at daycare than at home – Discuss with your caretakers
what they might be doing or not doing that is different than your routine. Sometimes
they figure things out before you do (and that’s ok! You are all working together
towards the same goal = great care and great sleep for your baby). If you work full
time, they are putting your baby down for a nap more often than you are. When my
son was in daycare for a short time, they actually let us know that he liked
something lightly touching his face while he fell asleep.
Another thing to consider is that babies KNOW that different caretakers do things
differently. When your daycare or other caretaker have other children to tend to,
they can’t always rock your baby for an hour like you can. They might simply have to
rock him for 10 minutes, put him down to fuss a few minutes and then pick him back
up again after tending to another child. Once your baby gets older and becomes a
toddler (or sooner), he may know that he can request that you spend longer with
him by protesting and crying when you leave the room. They learn very early that
mom or dad have different rules. Other caretakers are often more apt to follow your
rules more exactly than you probably follow your own. In this case, you may want to
consider setting firmer limits (review sleep training above). My son’s daycare worked
with him on learning to fall asleep unassisted and at first, he did it better for them,
until we became stricter and then he did it better for us.
 Baby is napping worse at daycare than at home – This is probably the more
common complaint. Daycare is too loud or it’s too exciting where baby just doesn’t

want to stop to sleep. The best thing you can do is have open communication with
your caretaker and make your wishes very clear. You might want to write out your
routine or schedule and share it with them. And, if there is more than one
caretaker, make sure it’s shared with all caretakers that might take care of
your child. A good caretaker will work with you and do what they can to help.
Communication is key as some caretakers transition to one nap prematurely, for
example, and if you let them know that your child is an absolute bear at home, they
might make an exception.
Another reason your child’s sleep is worse at daycare is that daycares have to adhere
to strict rules and regulations, too. At home, you might feel okay putting something
in the crib with your little one (such as sleep positioner, blanket, toys, etc.), but they
can’t always to the same due to suffocation hazards (Note: It is recommended not to
have any soft items in the crib for SIDS risk for the first year). Once they are old
enough, there are a few things you can provide to your caretaker:
 Sleep on your baby’s crib sheet so it smells like you. When he’s napping, he
will feel you near and find comfort in your scent.
 Introduce a lovey that you can send with him that he can hold for comfort.
Both my boys have Taggies® blankets as their loveys.
 Recreate the home sleep environment as much as you can at the caretaker’s.
That might include sheets, blankets, toys or books, and even a music CD or
musical toy that will help your baby or toddler feel more secure, particularly if
the daycare environment is a new one.
One final item to consider is the turn-over rate at your child’s daycare. When
turnover is high, it might disrupt your child’s ability to relax and settle into a routine
before it changes again. It takes time for caretakers to get to know your child and
your child to get to know a new caretaker. Depending on his personality, he might
not like change very much, either. A high turn-over rate could also indicate unhappy

employees who may or may not let it affect their work. You may want to talk to the
director and find out what’s going on and possibly, consider a new place.
Keep in mind that this is a temporary phase in your child’s life. It typically gets
better once your baby is older. If they are in a daycare setting, when the children
start to nap all at the same time, the social aspect gets them into a very good
routine, so hang in there!


Additional Resources

I hope this guide has been helpful for the nap-challenged and it will help lead you to
lots of restful sleep for your entire family. As part of The Baby Sleep Site™ community, I
invite you to take advantage of:
 My affordable one‐on‐one sleep consulting services (http://babysleepsite.com/services)

 My regularly updated blog, which contains free articles on topics related to infants, toddlers,
and sleep (http://babysleepsite.com/blog)

 For those persistent nighttime struggles, The 3‐Step System to Help Your Baby Sleep, is a
comprehensive e‐Book that allows you to bypass the lengthy books currently on the market and
start getting your child to sleep today (http://www.babysleepswell.com)

 With The 5‐Step System to Better Toddler Sleep, get back in control with this comprehensive
toddler sleep guide. Toolkit of strategies, sample schedules, and sleep logs will put your toddler
on the right sleep track. http://www.toddlersleepswell.com/

 Join our Members Area packed with premium content and resources: e‐Books, assessments,
detailed case studies, peer support, and more. Costs less to join than buying products
separately! (http://www.babysleepsite.com/become‐a‐member)

 Visit our forum where parents come together to support one another and answer questions.
(http://community.babysleepsite.com)

 My product recommendations to help your child sleep (http://babysleepsite.com/resources)


About the Author

Nicole Johnson is a sleep coach and the owner of The Baby Sleep Site™
(http://www.babysleepsite.com) specializing in baby sleep products and consulting services.
Nicole is a wife and the mother of two boys. With a B.A. degree from UC Berkeley and an
MBA from Ohio State University, Nicole has also received an honorary degree in “Surviving
Sleep Deprivation,” thanks to her son’s “no sleep” curriculum. She has become an expert on
infant and toddler sleep and has made it her mission to help other parents solve their child’s
sleep problems, too.
If you have any questions or comments on this guide please e‐mail info@babysleepsite.com.

Copyright © 2009 The Baby Sleep Site™, http://www.babysleepsite.com, Logo designed by http://idesignstudios.com

While The Baby Sleep Site™ publishes what we consider to be safe tips and suggestions, all The Baby Sleep Site™ content is made available on
an as‐is basis, with no warrantees expressed or implied. As such, readers use any advice at their own risk.


Appendix A – FAQ

How long will nap training take?
Typically, nap training can take up to two weeks or longer, depending on the age of the baby and his or
her temperament. Consistency is key!

How long will my baby cry if I use a crying method?
Unfortunately, I can’t tell you how long your baby will cry since all babies are unique. However, the
average, in my experience with other parents (not my own child, unfortunately, because of his strong‐
will), seems to be about 30 minutes in a stretch. If you are breaking a pacifier habit, that seems to cause
more up and down crying throughout the night, in my experience, but only for a few days (usually). I can
also tell you that many people prepare themselves for the worst and their child surprises them by not
crying long at all!
Will my baby sleep well from now on if I do cry‐it‐out?
Not necessarily, unfortunately. I can tell you that it will probably be 10 times better, but cry‐it‐out is
sometimes not a cure‐all, depending on the child. There could be ups and downs along the way as new
milestones come up, as your child becomes much more aware of cause & effect, as he learns he can get
his way sometimes by crying. All I know is that the method you were using was not working for one or
both of you, so it still might be your best option. Only you can decide that, though.
What if my baby is rolling over, sitting up or pulling up?
Baby learns to roll one way pretty early, but usually not both ways for quite awhile. Even when they can
roll the other direction, they don’t always think to do it in the middle of the night, so it depends on how
you want to handle it. You may be okay with going in and rolling her over a couple times per night or
maybe you’re not or you are really doing it 10 times per night. I usually recommend employing a check‐
and‐console type method so you go in at intervals and reposition your baby, periodically, in hopes that
one of these times they are waiting they will either learn to sleep on that side, learn to get down if they
are pulling up or learn not to pull up in the first place because it gets tiring.


Can you effectively nap‐train if you're still nursing on demand?
If the baby is still in early infancy and nursing on demand, then no, I don't recommend nap training at
that point. I find though, that once a baby becomes 3‐4 months old, they often do settle into a general
pattern of how long they usually go between nursing times. This would be the very minimum age I'd
suggest nap training, and some babies are not ready at that age. From my own experience, as well as
helping many families, I find that around 6 months is when most babies transition to more of a by‐the‐
clock schedule, and are more capable of more frequent self‐soothing and nap coaching methods.
Once you have a more predictable amount of time between nursing sessions, you can plan your nap
training after a feeding. As long as a baby does not fall asleep nursing and “need” to nurse in order to
fall asleep, you can effectively teach him how to fall asleep on his own and work on lengthening his
naps.
What do you do if baby has a wake‐window of 2‐3 hours and that is also how long s/he goes between
feedings?
I find that it is actually helpful if feeding times and the wake‐window go hand in hand. If your baby is up
in the morning for 2.5 hours before the first nap of the day (and that's also his nursing frequency), then
I'd nurse at the 2.5 hour mark, or just a few minutes before, and then put him down AWAKE afterwards.
If you sleep train day and night at different ages should you use the same method (Ferber, CIO, no cry,
fading, chair, etc) or might baby respond differently to different methods?
Day sleep and night sleep are controlled by different parts of the brain, and babies' response to different
methods will vary based on their age as well. So yes, you can use different methods. For example, a baby
that is still too young to self‐soothe alone in the room, may respond very favorably to fading or pick up
put down with you in the room to help comfort him as needed. Once he is older, you may feel more
comfortable with allowing him to cry at intervals, for example. If you don’t know what method to start
with, I typically recommend to start with the method that worked, but be open to trying a different one
if it doesn’t work as well, since day and night sleep are different animals.
Everyone says if baby doesn't nap try again later. Suggested crying times range from 30 min to 1 hour,
then do something else and try in an hour or wait until next naptime. I've done this, but then baby is
so tired and strung‐out he falls asleep instantly at his next feeding with his comfort, or if it's an

especially bad day he's too upset to eat or settle down with anything‐cuddles, singing, massage, etc.
What do I do?
Crying time can range up to 1 hour after 5‐6 months old, although moms very opposed to crying may
opt for less (whereas a toddler may be permitted to cry more if they are just starting the nap coaching
process). The recommendation is to wait 1 hour after an unsuccessful nap period, and then try again. If
you see he's on the verge of falling asleep as he is nursing, and is not going to make it an hour, then try
to keep him aroused just enough to go back to the crib. If he is permitted to just fall asleep while nursing
then he is being trained to cry for an hour, then he'll get to nurse and fall asleep.
It is a process with ups and downs, but we all learn from the routine and, if you are consistent, he will
begin to “get” it, even if there are some “oops he fell asleep” moments.
Even after nap coaching, there will still be occasional off days where a baby doesn't sleep. We've all had
those off days, and yes, you do end up with a fussy baby who ends up being overtired and unhappy. Nap
coaching, though, will diminish the number of those days.
What if I get him to his drowsy state and when I put him in his crib his eyes pop wide open and he
freaks out? Should I take him out and try again or let him work it out?
Don't take him out to re‐do the whole soothing routine. Even though you are putting him down drowsy
but awake, he still must learn to fall asleep on his own. So, if his eyes pop wide open and he begins to
cry you have a couple of options‐‐Ferber, or trying a gentler method of soothing him crib‐side ala Fading.
In an ideal world, our babies would always stay drowsy, but in reality that mostly only lasts a few
seconds until they have accepted the new routine and know not to wake themselves up being upset.
The goal of making them drowsy, in the beginning, is to be consistent about their routine and they know
what to do and expect.
If baby is tired enough, a car ride is a guaranteed nap, usually an hour or more (or a swing). Is it better
to let him skip naps if he is stubborn enough to do that or at least get a non‐nursing/arms nap that
way so the night won't be shot too?
I don't recommend doing the car ride or swing nap on a regular basis. If you're out and about and he
falls asleep in the car, then it's okay, or if it's a rare day where you're feeling so desperate for him to nap
that you'd do just about anything :), it's doable. But, if you do it on a regular basis, the swing or car are
just going to become new sleep associations to work through. You may replace nursing or rocking, for

example, but you'll have something just as difficult to work with and you might spend a small fortune on
gas for your car. And, if you use the buggy or stroller, then rainy days are that much gloomier.
If there are several issues with sleep, is it better to tackle them all at once or do one at a time?
Example: baby has no set nap schedule and nurses to sleep. Is it better to establish a nap schedule so
baby's clock is used to it before trying to break the nursing to sleep habit?
If the issues involved day sleep versus night sleep, then I would work on them separately. You can
implement a nap schedule and change a sleep association at the same time, though. He is accustomed
to going down for naps, you may be adjusting the times somewhat‐‐but it won't be a totally new
concept for him to nap 3 times a day, for example, you'll just be adjusting the times. It will be a new
concept, though, for him to go to sleep at naptime without nursing, rocking, pacifier, etc. Mostly,
schedules are hit and miss during the learning period, anyway, and more attempts sometimes makes
progress come faster.
Everyone says when baby is sick or during vaccines etc is not the time to sleep train. What about
teething? What do I do when we've been training for a couple of days and then one of these days hit?
Push on or back off? Will backing off throw it all out the window? Is pushing the training
unreasonable?
Some “experts” have said that teething does not disrupt sleep. I disagree. I believe some babies don’t
skip a beat when they get teeth, but I believe some definitely are affected. Since we can’t feel what they
feel, I err on the side of caution. I certainly don’t remember what it felt like when teeth erupted through
my gums for the first time! However, they teethe for what seems like a constant two years and it’s not
good for either of you not to get enough sleep for 2 years! During rough teething patches, give some
Acetaminophen or Ibuprophen (I like the latter better because it lasts longer) and some teething tablets
or a cold washcloth 30 minutes before bed. That will at least make him more comfortable during sleep
time. You may need to re‐dose once during the night. Usually sleep disruptions only last a few days to a
week. Any longer, and you probably have a different sleep problem.
Please see my article here about teething: http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep‐training/teething‐
sleep/. In general, though, I do not recommend you put off all sleep training, because you will likely
never get done unless you have a really fast learner. It is best to have a “Teething Plan.”
You need to use your best judgment, but in general, I say not to sleep train while baby is sick. You know
how you feel when you’re sick, so your baby may need more comforting during this time. Having said
that, when baby is on the upswing and you are doing more harm than good “helping” her to sleep, you

may want to leave her alone to get more rest to get better. You know your baby best and you will be
able to tell how she is feeling throughout the rest of the day to determine just how miserable she is
feeling or not.
What do I do about travelling? Do I sleep train while travelling?
Some people do sleep train while travelling, but it usually depends on where you’re going and for how
long. If you are going camping for 3 days, it’s unlikely you will be able to employ any crying methods
because you would disturb your neighboring campers. If you are going to grandma’s house for a month,
you likely won’t want to fall back into bad habits for so long. So, you need to just use your best
judgment and just keep in mind the child will be in a “foreign” place and likely his schedule might be
different resulting in more over‐tiredness, too.
After travelling or being sick, how long will it take for him to start sleeping better again?
The good news is that usually, previously sleep trained babies go back to sleeping well after just a couple
of days (maybe longer for no‐crying methods).
What if baby starts getting uncomfortable / panicking in crib at night when previously it wasn't an
issue?
Make sure you spend non‐sleep FUN time in his room and crib to avoid aversion to his room and crib. All
in all, most babies will adjust quickly. Make sure you reassure him and give lots of hugs and affection.
At night if baby starts to fall asleep while nursing I pat him awake so he can finish, be burped, and
then put down. What if during the day patting him awake to finish nursing results in a second wind
but you know he's tired and should nap?
This "second wind" is really the body's response to the stress of being tired. He's still tired, but his body
just now thinks it's supposed to be awake‐‐so he's responding accordingly. Yes, you want him drowsy,
but he still must learn to fall asleep on his own, even if he doesn't seem drowsy. The end goal will be for
you to soothe him, comfort him for a few moments, and then put him into the crib...even if he isn't
drowsy to the point of falling asleep...and he will fall asleep on his own. Once a baby is older, he should
no longer need to be burped, but that age varies baby to baby.

Appendix B – Sleep Training Plan Worksheet

Average Sleep in 24 Hours: ____________________________________________________________

Sleepy Signs: _______________________________________________________________________

Overtired Signs: _____________________________________________________________________

Primary Goal: _______________________________________________________________________

Working on (circle one): Days Nights Both

Method (be specific – it does not have to be one listed here but can be a custom one you and your
partner have come up with):

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

Mantra:
__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

Exceptions and other notes (what will you do for teething or other issues?):

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

Appendix C ‐ Sleep Logs

Example:
Day/ Wake Nap #1 Nap #2 Nap #3 Nap # 4 Bed Night- Feeds Total
Date wakings Sleep
M 6/2 6:00 7:00 10:00 1:00 PM 3:30 PM 6:30 0 2 14 hrs
45 mins 2 ½ hr 45 mins 1 hr
T 6/3 6:15 7:30 11:00 2:00 PM 4:45 PM 7:00 0 2 13 hrs
1 hr 1 hr 45 mins 45 mins
...
Average: 13.5 hours


Date wakings Sleep
Average: ________
Date wakings Sleep
Average: ________
Date wakings Sleep
Average: ________
Date wakings Sleep
Average: ________

Mastering Naps and Schedules

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

You might also like

Mastering Naps and Schedules

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Mastering Naps and Schedules

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

Crying techniques _________________________________________________________________ 30

Let’s get started on helping your child nap!

 Newborns: 45 minutes to 1 hour – I generally recommend starting to soothe down

The first wee

ave more trrouble settling down and going to sleep

or particularly fussy babies or just for parent’s

Unfortunately, some “tricks” to get newborns to nap better do create sleep

There are three primary reasons for short naps:

Note: See the sample schedules for more ideas.

Pros: Very limited crying

Pros: Parent doesn’t feel like (s)he is abandoning his/her baby

Pros: Usually only takes 3-4 nights for nighttime training.

Pros: Usually only takes 3-4 nights for nighttime training.

Time Description Notes

Time Description Notes

Time Description Notes

Time Description Notes

Time Description Notes

Time Description Notes

Goal: Wake at 6:30

Goal: Bedtime at 8 p.m., Wake at 7 a.m.

You might also like