Teacher: Give me an example for past tense John.

John: Madam I was absent yesterday.

Teacher: I am glad you understood the lesson John

Teacher: John, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
John: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

Teacher: what makes you 'see'? 

Student: my eyes , nose and ears
Teacher: true, eyes make you see. But why ears and nose?
Student: they hold my glasses

Teacher: how can you prove the earth is round?

Student: I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.

Teacher: John, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
John: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.

Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?

Student: Don't bite any.

Teacher: Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon? 

Student: The moon.
Teacher: Why? 
Student: The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time
when we don't need it.

Teacher: Name two animals that live in a cold region?

Funny student: A polar bear and his wife1

Teacher: John, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. 
John: Me! 

TEACHER:"I killed a person" , convert it into future tense.

STUDENT: " you will go to jail".

TEACHER: Why are you late? 

    WEBSTER: Because of the sign. 
    TEACHER: What sign? 
    WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

Teacher : Name 5 animals that live in water

Student : Frog…
Teacher : Very good. Name other 4 animals..
Student : His mother, His father, His sister and His brother..!

Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers

before eating?
Simon   : No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook
Teacher : Tell me an example of a creature who can live on land as well as water?
Student : Frog
Teacher : Good. But give me another example please
Student : Another Frog..!

Teacher punished John and let him to stand outside the class.
John : (Stand outside and laugh)
Teacher : Why are you laughing John?
John : I’m an OUTSTANDING student.
Teacher : How you say that?
John : Because I always STAND OUTSIDE the class..!

Teacher : Why are you late?

Student : Because of the sign madam.
Teacher : What is that sign?
Student : The one which says, “School ahead, Go slow”.
Teacher : Jessie, Give me a sentence which starting with the letter “I”
Jessie : I is….
Teacher : No Jessie, Always the letter “I” start like I am….
Jessie : Ok Madam.” I am the ninth letter of the Alphabet”

Joe: I was built backwards.

Mary: How?
Joe: My nose runs, and my feet smell!

Mad Professor: I have made a new invention!

Student: What does it do?
Mad Professor: It allows people to look through brick walls!
Student: What is it called?
Mad Professor: It’s called a window

 
Teacher : Harry, What is close to us? Australia or the moon?
Harry : The moon, sir.
Teacher : That’s wrong harry. How you said that the moon is closer than
Australia?
Harry : Because, We can see the moon from here. But we can’t see Australia.

Teacher : John, Drinking more water is good or bad?

John : Undoubtedly, Good madam
Teacher : Very good, So John tell me why we drink water?
John : Because we can’t eat water madam. That is why we drink water.