TOPIC OF THE DAY: CONFLICT

Definition: it is a social interaction involving struggle over

claims that ranges from power, behaviour etc.

✓ Conflict is inevitable and therefore, we must marshal our

efforts to carefully deal with it.

✓ Conflict can destroy a healthy relationship between people in a

team
✓ Conflict can also pose positive results such as love, strong
bond and give solutions

✓ Conflict when not properly handled, can bring contention and

other destructive forces that are detrimental to our relationships

TYPES OF CONFLICT

1. Intrapersonal- Occurs within a person. It happens when

one makes major life decisions. It may also happen when
there is a decay in one's moral standing as a Christian. It
might also be cases when is not qualified for a task but
there is a lot of expectation and requirement to complete
those tasks which causes dissatisfaction, lack of interest
and passion. The results of such conflicts are fear,
depression and regrets.

2. Interpersonal- disagreements between two or more

persons. Could be a relative, peer, subordinates or
work mates. It’s born on differences in opinion,
motives, opinions, actions and preferences. If the conflict
is not handled it may lead to structure formation (People
choosing to write instead of talking). It's better to
bargain, negotiate and resolve issues to avoid
changing structures in relationships.
3. Intra-group- is the incompatibility of members of one
group as a result of disagreements based on matters of the
team. Some theories teach us that lack of conflicts enhances
positive relationships amongst members but not encouraging a
higher level of performance in a team.
When teams compete, they perform better as a result of conflicts

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 4. Inter-group- Disagreement between the team members
in regards to goals/vision/mission of that particular group.
It’s common in the church denominations. The
management of such conflict can be solved by a top
management.
Social conflict has both positive and negative consequences; the
negative effects must be reduced to realize the goals.
5. Constructive conflict- Seeks to improve
quality of decisions and performance. It's also
called the positive conflict. A team
disagreeing to agree is an example of such
conflict (Gentles and Christians
(b

RESULTS OF CONSTRUCTIVE CONFLICT

 May lead to creative and innovative ideas

 Performance is enhanced and improved

 Helps in organizational zeal

 Individual and group performance is enhanced

 Individual and group performance may be enforced to search new approach

 Individual and group articulate and clarify their positions

6. Dysfunctional/Destructive conflict- leads redundant communication which produces bitterness, envy,

anger and un-forgiveness. People in such conflicts tend not to see any immediate solutions at site. The
following are some of the destructive results of such conflicts:

 Job stress

 Burn out (common in preachers and musicians)

 Dissatisfaction

 Communication will be reduced amongst the team

 Relationships and job performance reduced

 A climate of mistrust and suspicion may develop

 Increase in job resistance

 Organizational loyalty and commitment will be reduced.

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NOTES ON 30TH JANUARY 2020

Topic• Sources of Conflict

 Feelings and emotions that are incompatible leading to anger and frustrations
hence generation negativity.

 Substantive Conflict-Two or more members disagreeing on the content or task that

a person is carries out.

 Conflict of interest- Occurs when two institutions are offering the same product or
service. In a personal level, it occurs when a person is not settled on a particular
place, or position which leads to wandering and cheap competitions hence conflict.

 Conflict of values- Where social institutions differ in their values, ideologies or

doctrines depending on the institution.

 Conflict of goals-occurs when people in a team or institution is only considering the

end state or outcome (vision, mission) without considering the process.

 Realistic verses non-realistic Conflict-Occurs between rational and irrational

members of the team. It's also ignorance or obedient members in a team.
Knowledgeable verses lunatics in a team

 Institutionalized verses non-institutional conflict- Can be management verses the

union, government verses the community especially where goods and services are
concerned.

 Misattributed conflict-occurs between the top management and the subordinate

staffs in matters of performance and resource allocation (Income verses expenditure
conflicts, where proper utilization and performance in departments in accompany is
concerned

 Historical conflict- Arises as a result of past misappropriation of funds that erupts

fresh ill-feelings as far as people can recall. (We forgive but we don't forget)

 Displaced conflict- Occurs when both parties take their issues from simple to
complicated, which can be called, from primary to secondary or tertiary levels.

 Retributive Conflict-Conflict on what one gains in a particular activity

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 GROUP DISCUSION QUESTIONS

Discus ten steps that can lead to the achievement of the vision of Africa Shall Be Saved.

1. Intercession and Spiritual Mapping

2. Prepare Leaders

3. Stabilize Leaders

4. Service all the equipment and get technicians ready

5. Organize crusades, conferences and other activities

6. Implementation of activities

7. Stabilize the new converts

8. Ushering the new converts to departments

9. Monitoring, evaluation and review

10. Baptizing the New converts after training

SOURCES OF CONFLICT IN THE CHURCH

• When one side want to explain their side of the story first before the rival party

Note: Always listen first before speaking for you to get the information for right judgement too

• Ineffectiveness to listen. You must be a good listener.

• Fear of losing something we cherish. You must be willing to give and
take in conflict negotiation table

• Assumption that one has to lose something when their rival wins

8 REASONS TO CONSIDER WHEN DEALIN WITH CONFLICTS

I. Conflicting needs

II. Conflicting styles (Different ways of approaching things

III. Conflicting perceptions. How people view things

IV. Conflicting goals

V. Conflicting pressures, two or more departments are responsible for a separate action

with the same deadline

VI. Conflicting roles. When a person required to perform a task that is not within their
expertise/qualification (learn on the job and be flexible

VII. Conflicting Personal values. (Character is better than the message, so yours

VIII. Unpredictable policies in a company

ROOT CAUSES OF CONFLICTS

Primary (Weak structures, resources, policies)

Secondary (lack of education, ethnicity, absence of information)

Others (Regional conflicts, failure to consolidate peace, inadequate
mediation, lack of communication)

TRAINING ON 13th FEB 2020

TOPIC OF THE DAY: RESPONSE TO CONFLICT

The parties in a conflict a times tend to act by mobilizing, taking charge and
a times take advantage of the winning without caring about who loses.
CYCLES OF CONFLICT

• The formation stage- This is the primary stage where the conflict emerges.
It’s regarded as a situation or things that were previously ignored or taken for
granted but in real sense are recipes for conflict.
• Escalation Stage-Formation of enemy images are evident. Hate and grudges
piles up and rages the conflict rapidly. This is that stage where we lose track and
good memories/character traits we associate a person with.

• The Crises Stage also called the boiling point stage. Parties build barricades and take
sides that sharpens their differences. Expressions like, "What are you doing
in my office, house, compound, room etc." are common in this stage.
• De-escalation Stage-Parties begin to see hostility and marks the climax
of bitterness, anger etc. They welcome and invite external intervention
• Improvement Stage-Parties in the conflict begin to cool off, rethink,
calculate and have sober judgment towards the matters on the table that
brings conflict. This brings a paradigm shift and welcomes dialogue. In
cases where the shift is not realized, then improvement stage will not appear.
(This stage also welcomes peace)

• Post conflict (Transformation stage)-tension reduced and parties go back to normal

However, if issues are not solved, then fresh conflict with even greater
magnitude might re-occur. Repeated failure to negotiate conflict in such cases can be
dangerous.
Conflict A must not transform to be conflict B
Post conflict stages are:

✓ Negotiation stage-searches for mutual and beneficial measures

where there is room to give and take.
✓ Settlement Stage- Marks the end of active conflict, where
performance on what agreed must be evident.
Conflict should not be taken as fertile grounds for making
money or accumulate ill-gotten resources even if that is the
reality.
✓ Peace building and reconciliations Stage-This comes after a
successful negotiation that prevents a possible return to the active
conflict. There must be healing, which is a process that calls for
patience and wisdom since it must take time.

FOUR ASPECTS OF RECONCILIATION

I. Truth-acknowledge the merit in the misinterpretation of events that fueled

the conflict.

II. Justice-Better ways and means of putting the past to rest by all means for the
sake of peace and reconciliation.

III. Regard-Forgiveness on the side of victims

Security- Expectations of peaceful co-existence. This is an assurance given by

both parties that the former mistakes were not intentional
and there is a sense of belonging to the safe habitation
experienced before the conflict.
This is one of the most important stage of conflict negotiation and once it is
achieved then no more conflict will be experienced.

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 POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE CONFLICT

Conflict can be gauged on whether positive or negative depending on

the way it is handled or approached. When properly handled (positive),
poorly handled (negative)
RESULTS OF POSITIVE CONFLICT

 Increased Understanding-Expands people's awareness to

different situations.

 Increased group cohesion-When conflict is resolved

effectively, team members build strong, mutual respect and
renewed faith to work together.

 Improved self-knowledge-pushes people to redefine their goals

and priorities which sharpen focus thus enhances
effectiveness.

 Raises and addresses problems

 Energizes work to be done in most appropriate ways:

Example: In an organization where workers choose to lazy
around, only takes one of them fired and all other workers will be
tuned and reenergized to perform for fear of falling the next
victim.

 Allow people to become Real-Being real, nakedly expressing

the truth really heals and make things better. It also
motivates others to participate in constructive development.
Just Be Real
 Helps people learn how to recognize and benefit from their
differences. Positive conflict add value.
 Enhances problem-solution identification
 Enhances group cohesiveness
 Contribute to goal attainment

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  It is an incentive for growth. Some people becomes better when there is a

problem/crisis.

RESULTS OF NEGATIVE CONFLICT

 Hampers/derails/stops productivity

 Lowers people's morale

 Causes more conflicts

 Causes inappropriate Behavior-Character determines behavior hence conflict

POTENTIAL NEGATIVE RESULTS OF CONFLICT

 Decreased productivity
 Erodes trust
 Coalition and insecurity emerges
 Causes moral problem
 Consumes a lot of time
 Decision making is paralyzed

NOTES ON 27th FEB 2020

TOPIC: CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Ways of Managing conflict are:
• Conflict Resolution. Curbing conflict before it happens (being
proactive by cooling the temperatures hence giving it time for
healing. It's useful only when the partners can control the
complications causing the conflict.

• Conflict Mediation. Bringing of trained and experienced personnel to bring

the conflicting parties in a table of understanding hence communication and
negotiation of giving and taking take center stage. This helps the conflicting
parties to reach a mutual and satisfying agreement.
• Conflict Management- If conflict resolution and conflict
mediation cannot solve the conflict, then conflict management

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 especially to reoccurring conflicts are concerned. Long term
management involves institutionalized provisions and procedures.

Fake and outdated cultures dominate and become our systems in our African
way of life.

So, must defy some outdated cultures that are prone to propagate violence
The conflict management can either be Spiritual of physical so
have discernment on which approach fits your management.
This type of conflict resolution is normally taken by the parties who
intervenes as mediators and counselors to calm down the conflicts.
It's considered not perfect solution since it has short term effects
which only postpones or ignores the conflict only to resurface in the
future.

EFFECTIVE CONFLICT MANAGEMENT SUCCEEDS IN:

 Minimizing Disruptions
 If well guided, Conflict Management can perfectly solve a conflict with
properly trained mediators.
• Conflict Transformation-This reflects on a better
understanding on the nature of the conflict itself. It dictates
that positive conflict ends in transformation to all parties or
communities involved.
• Conflict Resolution- Involves groups to be reconciled that
includes the following

➢ Firm stand from the leaders/Mediators

➢ Understanding and compromise from all parties

➢ Retribution of resources

➢ Give and take procedure/criteria

THREE PRINCIPLES THAT CONTRIBUTE TO THE

PRODUCTIVITY OF HEALING ARGUMENTS

1) Seek to understand

2) People in disagreement must be positive and hopeful that the

conflict will end in good shape and something good can
actually come out of it at the end.
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 3) Avoidance of sharp confrontation- Do not negotiate with a disparate
party of person as the conflict might fuel up. Wait for things to
cool and sit down later (takes a process but worth waiting)

Under this principle, we have the following:

• Win-Lose-Approach (Might start another fresh fight/conflict)

• Lose-Lose approach (leads to ill-feelings and regrets of having taken

the process)

• Win-Win Approach which is the best ever approach in any conflict

NOTES ON 5Th MARCH 2020
TOPIC OF THE DAY: CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS
 Quickly leave stress to pave way to a stress free zone
 Recognize and manage your Emotions- Even if you are disagreeing,
maintain your moral stature and composure. Stop getting entangled in
people's emotions, it might derail your goal as a counselor
 Improve your Non-Verbal communication Skills such as tonal variation,
touch, and facial expressions etc.to be able to send a signal or reassure
the listener that you are communicating even if no sound is heard. (Be
charismatic)
 Use Humor and Play to create a happy environment for the resolution.
Giving real life experiences and personal testimonies effectively attracts the
attention and make people learn more from you.
COMMUNICATION
There are many misunderstandings in the conflict that needs a clear
communication to solve. People in the conflict shuts understanding and
hearing while other parties in the same conflict, have their antennas very
high (hearing what is not existing at all). As a third party in the conflict
(counselor), if you pay attention to all these nitty gritties of
communication in the conflict, then you will not be able to sail through.

RELATION BETWEEN CONFLICT AND COMMUNICATION

 Communication behavior creates the conflict

 Communication behavior reflects in conflict

 Communication is the vehicle for productive or destructive management
of conflict
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 BARRRIES OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

 Filtering: Saying to me what I want to hear not what should be told.

 Selective Perception- Hearers choosing what they want to hear and

see.

 Information overload-Being given too much information more than

which you can process hence one might miss the details.

 Emotions: Interpretations of the received information depends on the

emotional climate of the speaker.

 Language: Words can mean different things to different people, so be

cautions with your language both spoken or body language.

 Communication Apprehension- creates anxiety to the listeners in

question be it employees, business partners, neighbors etc

WAYS OF IMPROVING COMMMLINICATION

a. Encourage the other person to share openly and true as possible.

b. Clarify real issues without assumption

c. Restate/Repeat what you hear

d. Reflect feelings (Be clear)

e. Validate the concerns of the other person. Respect and
acknowledge people when they are communicating.

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