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Editing and Revision Worksheet

Part I – Editing
Rewrite TWO of the three sets correctly on your paper. You may add, remove, or change words
and rearrange words if necessary, but do not change the meaning!

Set #1

anyone lived in a pretty how town

(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn't he danced his did.

Women and men(both little and small)

cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn't they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

Set #2

next to of course god america i

love you land of the pilgrims' and so forth oh
say can you see by the dawn's early my
country 'tis of centuries come and go
and are no more what of it we should worry
in every language even deafanddumb
thy sons acclaim your glorious name

Set #3

 people are eating children in this area please leash up your dogs and clean up after
them

 toilet only for disabled elderly pregnant children

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im sorry i love you will you let me be yours gloria

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Part II - Revision
Explain in detail what is good and what is bad about each paragraph. Go for at least 3 good
things and 3 bad things EACH.

Paragraph 1:
It rained a lot in 1816.... a lot - like everyday; the weather in Europe was abnormaly wet
because it rained in Switzerland on 130 out of the 183 days from April to September. If I was
Mary Shelley I might decide to write a book too. She said that she "passed the summer of 1816
in the environs of Geneva...we occasionally amused ourselves with some German stories of
ghosts... These tales excited in us a playful desire of imitation."  Afterall, it was the onnly thing
you could do without TV or anything.  I guess I would write a novel if there was nothing else to
do. I hate wet and reiny days. Mary Shelley decided to write a book becuase it was so awful
outside. I can totally see her point, you know?

Paragraph 2:

There have been a problem with junk food in schools lately. Schools keeps bringing in unhealthy
snacks such as Doritos, Twinkies, and other greasy snacks. These snacks has the ability to cause
obesity among children. If schools keeps bringing this in, children will get obese. There has been
decreasing school budgets, forcing them to turn to unhealthy junk food from companis who pay
them for the advertising. Nacho Cheese Doritos has 140 calories and 70 calories from fat. It also
have 180 grams of sodium, something everyone should has, but only a little. If schools keeps
supporting this junk food, this will causes unhealthy eating habits and obesity among the
children in school. Many snacks has lots of fat and other unhealthy stuff inside it.

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