Chapter 1.2 - On Saying Please-1

Prof Farheen Ansari
B.com, CS, LLB, PGDIPR 1.2 On Saying “Please”

1.2 ON SAYING “PLEASE”
~ALFRED GEORGE GARDINER
COMMON COURTSEY WORDS
THANK YOU I’M SORRY POLITE

HANDSHAKE
PLEASE EXCUSE ME YOU’RE

WELCOME
YES MA’AM YES SIR MAY I
MAY I COME PARDON ME

IN?
Prof Farheen Ansari
ABOUT THE WRITER:
ALFRED GEORGE GARDINER (2nd June 1865- 3rd March 1946),

was an English Journalist, editor and author. He was born in
Chelmsford in Essex in 1865.
Under the pseudonym “Alpha of the Plough”, he made

regular contributions to the Daily News.
His essays are uniformly elegant, graceful and humorous.
His uniqueness lies in his ability to teach basic truths of life

in an easy and amusing manner.
He raised the question of morality in everyday life.
In this lesson, the writer points out;
a) the value of good manners in social life
b) Emphasizes the importance of courtesy and politeness in daily

behavior
c) shows how polite speech and manner sweeten the atmosphere
d) how discourtesy and ill manner spoils or pollute
Thank
you, Sir You’re You are
Welcome an idiot, Shut up!
Prof Farheen Ansari
On Saying “Please”
In a City office, a young liftman threw a passenger out of the lift one morning and
was later fined for the offence (wrong), because he was undoubtedly wrong.
It was a question of “Please”.

Top
Top-please
The complainant entered the lift and said,
“Top”
The lift man demanded “Top-please” and

when this concession was refused, the
liftman hurled (throw) the passenger out
of the lift.
This, of course was carrying a comment

on manner too far.
Prof Farheen Ansari
Discourtesy is not a legal offence, and is not an excuse for assault and battery.
RUDE
Discourtesy is not a
IMPOLITE BEHAVIOUR
legal offence
ILL-MANNERED
DISRESPECTFUL
UNCIVIL
But, it is not an excuse for assault and battery
Threat of violence Physical harm
There is no punishment for being discourteous in the eyes of law, but at the same time it
doesn’t mean that if somebody is being rude or impolite with you, you go on hitting and
beating them.
Prof Farheen Ansari
However, if a buglar (robber) enters your house to rob or if someone physically assault
you, here the law permits you to retaliate (hit back) with reasonable violence, because
the burglar and the assailant have broken few commands of law and in order to protect
yourself and your property, you shall be acquitted (free from charge).
Assailant
Burglar
But no legal system could legislate (to legalize) against bad manners or sanction (allow)
the use of violence against bad manners.
Though out sympathy is with the liftman, but the law is reasonable.
Think, what would happen if law would have permitted violence

against bad manners???
People would box others ears because they dint like others behavior;
They would beat others simply because they dint like their tone of voice;
They would punch others just because they dint like the scowl (frown) on their faces;
Fists would never be idle;
Gutters of the city would run with blood;

Prof Farheen Ansari
 The Law doesn’t compel (force) anybody to say “Please”, “thank you” or attune your
voice, just like the law doesn’t tell you to grow or wax your moustache or dye your hair
or wear ringlets down your back;
 The Law doesn’t recognize the laceration (deep cut) of our feelings as a case of
compensation (return).
 There is no allowance for moral and intellectual damages.
 That is way;
I may be uncivil as I may please;
I may be haughty (proud/arrogant) or boorish (rude/illmannered);
But the law will protect me against violent (forceful/aggressive) retaliation (revenge) and
there will be no penalty.
Only that such person will be labeled by the people as “ill-mannered fellow”.
He is an ill-mannered
fellow!
Prof Farheen Ansari
Of course, one gets hurt when someone is impolite, therefore damages (compensation)
are not negligible (unimportant).
The liftman was actually hurt as he regarded it as a slur (insult) because of his social
standing (as he was mere a poor liftman), than he would have been if he had a kick on his
shins (kick below the knee), for which he could have got legal redress (protection of law)
He was rude
because I am just
a poor lift man!
Kick on the shins
The pain of a kick on the shins soon passes away, but the pain of a wound to self-respect or
our vanity (pride or ego) may poison our whole day.
NOW IMAGINE:
If the Liftman did not The thought of insult Then after reaching home,
threw the passenger out would be brooding in his he would have passed on
of the lift mind all day his anger to his wife.
way of resorting his equilibrium (balance)

Prof Farheen Ansari
There are few things which are catching (attractive or makes you follow it)
BAD TEMPER BAD MANNER
2. Captain Absolute
Bullied
Fag
1. Sir Anthony Absolute 3. Fag

bullied Went down and kicked
Captain Absolute the page boy
It may have been so that;
The Housemaid
“answered back” to the
lady of the house
Due to which the lady (wife) had

been insolent (disrespectful)
with her husband at breakfast
As the husband was

henpecked (criticize), he went
to office and dint wished back Top
“Good morning” to his worker.
And as the worker was

annoyed he got back at the
liftman by impolitely saying
“Top”
Prof Farheen Ansari
 We infect the world with ill-humors (bad mood).
 Bad Manners poison the stream of general life than all the crimes in the calendar
(court).
Example:
 A wife who gets a black eye (thappad) from otherwise good natured husband
On the other hand, there are hundreds who live a life of martyrdom under the shadow of a
morose (unhappy) temper
But, all the same LAW cannot become the guardian of our private manners.
No Decalogue [DEK+UH+LOG]
(Ten Commandments) could cover the vast
area of offence.
No Court can administer the law which governs

social civilities, our speech, the tilt of our
eyebrows and all our moods and manners
Prof Farheen Ansari
Although we are bound to endorse (support) the verdict

(final decision) against the liftman, many will have
sympathy for him.
Although, there is no law to say “Please”, but there is an

old social practice (even older than laws), which is more
sacred than law, which enjoins (tells) us to be civil.
1st Requirement of civility is to “acknowledge a service”
Mom, you must be

Thank you tired working, let me
help you in your
work.
Good Morning,
Uncle!
Can I please have
your pencil?
“Please” and “Thank you” are small change, which can keep
the machine of life oiled and running sweetly.
It makes our intercourse (communication) in friendly

co-operative manner, an easy give and take!
A very vulgar(dirty) mind wishes to command, when one can get

the service by politely asking rather than resentment (anger).
Prof Farheen Ansari
EXAMPLE OF POLITE BUS CONDUCTOR:
Writer shares example of his friend, who is a “polite bus conductor”
He emphasizes on the fact that the title is no discriminatory or

suggests to rebuke (criticize) bus conductors, in general.
On the contrary, the writer says there are few classes of people who
come through the ordeal (suffering) [just like the conductors] as their
job is tough involving long standing, dealing challenging people etc
who put in their best to give their best.
You will also meet few conductors with unpleasant behavior, who consider passenger as
their enemies, or doubt that the passenger has entered to cheat him and the only way to
deal with is loud voice and aggressive manner- but this type is rare!
In London, the Underground Railway

Company, which also runs buses, they have
trained their employees with certain
standards of civility, and the employees
pleasant behavior towards the public makes
the journey beautiful and performs social
practice.
Prof Farheen Ansari
One day, the writer jumped into the

bus and later found that he forgot his
wallet and had no money in the
pocket
He got annoyed because he was sure Oh no, I forgot

that he will look like a fool at the my wallet!
best and knave (cheater) at the
worst!
He was sure, that the conductor

would not believe him and sack him
down the bus.
He again searched his pockets and

got some coppers (coins) but was
not sufficient to buy ticket.
He told the conductor with an

honest face that he doesn’t have
money to pay and he will go back.
Don’t worry, here take
this ticket and pay me
whenever you see me
The conductor replied calmly that next!
he doesn‟t have to get down and
asked him where he wanted to go
and gave him the ticket with the air
of a man.
The writer surprisingly asked the

conductor that how he would return
the fare.
To which the conductor cheerfully

replied, wherever he sees him, he
can return
Luckily the writer, in the
corner of the pocket got a
The writer was taken aback by the shilling and the account
gesture of the conductor and was was squared.
fingering in his pockets to see if
there is more shilling.
But the glow of good
gesture stayed on the
writers face for a long time.
Prof Farheen Ansari
After few days, when the writer sat at top of the bus, reading, someone trampled (crushed)
on his most sensitive toe.
The writer looked up in anger and agony (pain) and saw that
he was the polite bus conductor.
The bus conductor: “Sorry, sir! I know these are heavy

boots and I got them because my own feet get trod (step
on) on so much and now I am treading on other people.
Hope I dint hurt you, sir.”
Although it was hurting the writer, but he assured him that it dint hurt much .
Every day, the writer boarded his bus and observed the bus conductor and found curious
pleasure in his constant good nature:
He had inexhaustible He was very considerate

(unlimited) fund of patience with old people, like a son
And with children , as

He made his passengers solicitous (caring) like
comfortable a father
When it was raining, he

would tip people that He has a peculiarly warm
there is “room inside” place in his heart for young
people and always joke
around with them
When he saw blind man, he
would set him down on the
pavement and took him A journey with him was more
across the road or at safer of lesson in natural
way courtesy and good manners
He eradiated (brighten) an With his polite nature, he

atmosphere of good temper
got his work done at ease.
and kindliness
Prof Farheen Ansari
IF BAD If we encounter (come across) incivility, most of

us are apt to become uncivil.
MANNERS
ARE
It is usually an uncouth (impolite) person who
INFECTIOUS; disagrees with sunny (happy/polite) person.
SO ARE
GOOD
MANNERS
It is with
MANNERS as with
the WEATHER.
Keats, a poet said, “Nothing clears up my spirit
as a fine day.”
A cheerful person descends (gives) on even the gloomiest (saddest) person with
benediction (blessing) of a fine day.
The polite bus conductor, his civility, his conciliatory address and good humored-
infected his passengers
In lightening others spirit, he lightened his own task.
His gaiety (jolliness) was not wasteful luxury, but a sound investment.
Prof Farheen Ansari
The writer further says that he has now changed his bus route, but he
misses the polite bus conductor who carried his sunshine on to
another road. It cannot be too widely diffused (dim/soften) in rather a A POLITE
drab (dull and boring) world. PERSON
CARRIES HIS
SUNSHINE
WHERE EVER
He says he will make no apologies for writing panegyric (publicized THEY GO
text to praise someone) on an unknown bus conductor.
Because if Wordsworth (English poet) can learn lesson of wisdom from a poor
leech-gatherer “on a lonely moor”, then there is no reason why people should
not take lessons from the other person who shows how to be modest, dignified
by good temper and kindly feeling.
Writer Says:
War had a chilling effect upon our which means because of war, fights and
little every day civilities of riots we have lost faith in humanity, it
behavior that sweeten the has made us so bitter that we have
general air. forgot our common courtesy.
BUT we have to get our

civilities back to make
life kindly and tolerable
for each other.
Law cannot be invoked to bring

civilities. It can only protect you
against material attack.
Prof Farheen Ansari
A policeman is a necessary symbol AND law is a necessary institution for society-
However, humans are lower than angels.
The lift man ways of meeting his moral affront (insult) by physical violence will never help
to restore (bring back) the civilities.
Writer suggests the lift man, that he would have had more subtle (clever) and effective
revenge, if he has treated the other gentleman with politeness. He would have won victory,
not only over the boor (foolish person), but over himself- and this victory counts!
Even if a polite man loses the material advantage, he always has

spiritual victory...
STORY OF CHESTERFIELD (British writer):

The writer commend (mention) to the lift man a story of Chesterfield .
In London, old times, there were no pavements on the road and the person who took the
wall had the driest feet.
Once a man came from the other side of the wall and Chesterfield from his opposite side.
The man said, “I never give the wall to a scoundrel”, Chesterfield replied, „I always do‟
and step aside with a bow into the road.
I hope that the lift man will agree that his revenge was much more sweet than if had flung
(threw) the fellow in the mud.
Disclaimer: That the Professor is the holder of Copyrights of this given notes. Unless expressly provided in writing,
no part of these notes should be reproduced, distributed or communicated to any third party. Further the Professor
herein does not accept any liability, intended or unintended in respect of this report.

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Prof Farheen Ansari

B.com, CS, LLB, PGDIPR 1.2 On Saying “Please”

COMMON COURTSEY WORDS

THANK YOU I’M SORRY POLITE

PLEASE EXCUSE ME YOU’RE

YES MA’AM YES SIR MAY I

MAY I COME PARDON ME

ALFRED GEORGE GARDINER (2nd June 1865- 3rd March 1946),

Under the pseudonym “Alpha of the Plough”, he made

His essays are uniformly elegant, graceful and humorous.

His uniqueness lies in his ability to teach basic truths of life

He raised the question of morality in everyday life.

In this lesson, the writer points out;

a) the value of good manners in social life

b) Emphasizes the importance of courtesy and politeness in daily

c) shows how polite speech and manner sweeten the atmosphere

d) how discourtesy and ill manner spoils or pollute

It was a question of “Please”.

The lift man demanded “Top-please” and

This, of course was carrying a comment

But, it is not an excuse for assault and battery

Threat of violence Physical harm

Think, what would happen if law would have permitted violence

Fists would never be idle;

Gutters of the city would run with blood;

 There is no allowance for moral and intellectual damages.

Kick on the shins

way of resorting his equilibrium (balance)

BAD TEMPER BAD MANNER

1. Sir Anthony Absolute 3. Fag

It may have been so that;

Due to which the lady (wife) had

As the husband was

And as the worker was

No Court can administer the law which governs

Although we are bound to endorse (support) the verdict

Although, there is no law to say “Please”, but there is an

1st Requirement of civility is to “acknowledge a service”

Mom, you must be

It makes our intercourse (communication) in friendly

A very vulgar(dirty) mind wishes to command, when one can get

Writer shares example of his friend, who is a “polite bus conductor”

He emphasizes on the fact that the title is no discriminatory or

In London, the Underground Railway

One day, the writer jumped into the

He got annoyed because he was sure Oh no, I forgot

He was sure, that the conductor

He again searched his pockets and

He told the conductor with an

The writer surprisingly asked the

To which the conductor cheerfully

The bus conductor: “Sorry, sir! I know these are heavy

He had inexhaustible He was very considerate

And with children , as

When it was raining, he

He eradiated (brighten) an With his polite nature, he

IF BAD If we encounter (come across) incivility, most of

In lightening others spirit, he lightened his own task.

BUT we have to get our

Law cannot be invoked to bring

However, humans are lower than angels.

Even if a polite man loses the material advantage, he always has