Loving you is; Blue & Grey

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/29018217.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Relationship: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin, Kim
Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin
Character: Jeon Jungkook, Kim Taehyung | V, Park Jimin (BTS), Min Yoongi |
Suga, Kim Namjoon | RM, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope,
Original Male Character(s), Original Female Character(s)
Additional Tags: Friends With Benefits, Unrequited Love, Explicit Sexual Content, Angst,
Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Canon
Compliant, One-Sided Attraction, Possessive Behavior, Bottom Kim
Taehyung | V, Top Jeon Jungkook, Taekook and Yoonmin both are
main couple, Slow Build, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Explicit Language,
Miscommunication, Top Min Yoongi | Suga, Bottom Park Jimin (BTS),
Dirty Talk, Oral Sex, Spanking, Kink Negotiation, Lace, Crossdressing,
Angst with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2021-01-27 Completed: 2021-05-18 Words: 113,317
Chapters: 13/13

Loving you is; Blue & Grey

by Aamyungv

Summary

“I think I like Jimin, hyung,” Jungkook had whispered last night, lips rubbing against
Taehyung’s neck, arms tightening around his waist, “I like him very much.”

“I love you,” Taehyung thought, pressing down on his lips to not let a single word out, “I
am in love with you.”

“Hyung,” Jungkook had buried his face in Taehyung’s chest, “tell me what to do.”

“Love me back,” Taehyung wanted to scream, could feel the words bubbling on his tongue,
burning his mouth, “love me as I love you.”

-----////----

As Yoongi looked up at Jimin's face, so gentle and full of warmth, Yoongi found himself
laughing at the thought of them ever being together.

He had nothing to offer. He was never going to be enough. He was just a candle, an almost
burnt out candle, in front of the sun that was Jimin. Or maybe he was Icarus, falling for the
sun and burning himself willingly, knowing he would never be enough yet giving his
 everything to the one his heart chose.

Notes

Hope you like it if you are going to read it.

-----

DO NOT TRANSLATE MY WORK. I GIVE NO PERMISSION FOR THAT.

See the end of the work for more notes

 {How could I know one day I'd wake up feeling more}
Chapter Summary

DO NOT TRANSLATE/REPOST MY WORK. I GIVE NO PERMISSION FOR

THAT. IF YOU FIND THIS WORK GETTING POSTED/TRANSLATED ON ANY
OTHER SITE OR AO3 UNDER DIFFERENT USER, PLEASE LET ME KNOW ON
MY TWITTER

Chapter Notes

→ A PLAYLIST for the story ←

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“I don’t understand if Jikook is not real then why they look at each other like this?”

“Eyes don’t lie. Look at their eyes, man!”

“Do you see how Jungkook smiles at Jimin? BOY IS IN LOVE!”

“I just don’t understand why Taehyung keeps coming between these two?! Can’t he see they were
having a moment?”

“Excuse me?! Taehyung is their friend! I am a Jikooker too but respect Tae, okay? He is like their
wingman. No hate for him!”

“Exactly. Don’t hate Tae! He is Jimin’s soulmate and Jikook’s wingman!”

“Can we please focus on how Jungkook kissed/sucked on Jimin’s ears?! IN A CONCERT?! MAN,
HOLD YOUR HORSES!”

“They do it in front of the camera. Imagine what they do behind it- bro!”

“They are so in love!”

“Taehyung, go away. Stop disturbing the couple. It’s time you stop being so cringy and clingy.
Find someone else!”

.
.
.

Taehyung closed the app and logged out of his private account. After putting his phone on the
tabletop he stared at the ceiling with his mind whirling with those comments. It felt like someone
was yelling those words at him, telling him how he was coming between two people who loved
each other. It felt like the walls were closing in on him. The air in the room sucked out of the
window and all Taehyung could do was gasp for a long breath.
He never really paid those words much attention. He knew how strong all of their bonds were and
he never went searching for ships because he knew there would be rivalry and petty words thrown
at each other to prove something as surreal as love.

But today he logged into Twitter with purpose and deliberately searched those threads up. He had
scrolled through every Jikook post he could find. He had read, watched and noted things he never
thought he would before. Right now Twitter was recommending him some Jikook accounts to
follow and he had gone incognito on YouTube so he was saved there.

But he wasn’t saved from the pain that kept building in his chest. He cursed himself mentally when
he felt his eyes burning with tears that he tried hard to contain. When it became too much he closed
his eyes, turning on his side and grabbing for the pillow he held closer to his chest every night to
sleep. The pillow was cold, left untouched for the whole day.

Taehyung rubbed his cheek against the pillow and words, whispered against his skin at the middle
of the night, came back to him. He squeezed his eyes close, whimpering as Jungkook’s words
travelled back in his ears from last night…

.-----.

“I think I like Jimin, hyung,” Jungkook had whispered last night, lips rubbing against Taehyung’s
neck, arms tightening around his waist, “I like him very much.”

Taehyung could still feel those shaky breaths Jungkook had let out against his chest, wrapping his
limbs around Taehyung even more firmly.

Warmth seeped through Taehyung’s sides but his limbs were turning icy as his heart skipped beats,
stopping almost. The pain so vivid, Taehyung could feel tears welling in his eyes.

“I like Jimin,” Jungkook mumbled again, sounding hoarse, scared, and vulnerable.

“I love you,” Taehyung thought, pressing down on his lips to not let a single word out, “I am in
love with you.”

“Hyung,” Jungkook had buried his face in Taehyung’s chest, “tell me what to do.”

“Love me back,” Taehyung wanted to scream, could feel the words bubbling on his tongue,
burning his mouth, “love me as I love you.”

“Are you,” Jungkook had stilled in his arms, pulling back a little, “are you disgusted? That I like
guys?”

Taehyung had laughed then, letting those tears roll out of his eyes. He had wiped at them as he
turned on his side, looking at Jungkook’s confused and scared face.

“I am bisexual, Gukkie,” he whispered, “I am not really in a place to judge you.”

It was comical how wide those eyes had gone. Jungkook had dropped on the pillow and looked at
Taehyung with a bewildered expression. Taehyung reached out, grabbing Jungkook’s hand in his.

As he had looked at Jungkook, Taehyung found himself standing at the junction of two roads.
There were two options for him as he could see.

“So you understand me, right?” Jungkook asked, holding onto Taehyung’s hand with desperation
clear in his voice and expression, “hyung? I didn’t tell anyone except you. I am so…” scared.
Taehyung could see himself in Jungkook. He could see his teen self in those deer-like eyes. How
terrifying it was to realize not only you were not straight but you liked your bandmate. You loved
your bandmate. He could almost taste the salty tears he had hidden on his pillows night after night.
Taehyung could almost feel the pain in his chest. It was all coming back as memories he tried to
bury for so long. Those sleepless nights of fears and self-hatred. He flinched as he recalled those
self-denials. He hated remembering how terribly down it all got him. Until he had a knowing
presence beside him. Until a silent presence was there, behind him, supporting him and telling him
it was okay. All of it.

Yoongi.

Taehyung never told him about his love for Jungkook but Yoongi knew about Taehyung’s all other
fears and he had been there, through it all. To be the shoulder Taehyung needed. Yoongi made sure
Taehyung understood that it was okay to not be straight. He was there to hold him night after night
when Taehyung cried himself to sleep.

When Taehyung thanked him, Yoongi had smiled, telling him to be the same to someone else if
they needed it.

Now it was Taehyung’s time to be that person in Jungkook’s life.

He could never let Jungkook go through that. Not when he was there.

So he reached out, grabbing at Jungkook and pulling the boy in his arms.

“I am glad you told me, Gukkie,” Taehyung mumbled, nose buried in those locks, “I am not angry.
I am not disgusted. No one will be. None of us. I am sure. Not Jimin either. Yeah?”

That was the moment he knew what he had to do. He chose his lane.

He had to watch Jungkook and Jimin get together and be happy. He had seen the adoration Jimin
had for the younger. He had felt how much Jimin loved Jungkook. There was no way Jungkook’s
feelings were not reciprocated. Taehyung knew he could either start detaching himself from both of
them or stay there and help them get closer.

He looked down at the face he came to adore more than anything in his world and tried to think of
ways to detach himself from the guy. He tried to imagine growing apart from Jungkook and the
shooting pain in his chest was enough to tell him he could never.

Neither could he avoid Jimin. That guy was his soulmate in true sense. There was no way he could
break his friendship with either one of them.

He had no choice. At this point, it was the only thing Taehyung knew. How to hide his feelings.

“Thank you,” Jungkook whispered, eyes bright with unshed tears, “thank you. I don’t know what I
could have done if you refused to accept me. I was so scared. Hyung. I…”

“Gukkie,” Taehyung had kissed the boy’s temple, “make sure you tell Jimin how you feel before
it’s too late. Yeah?”

Don’t end up like me.

Jungkook had nodded, “soon. I will tell him soon.”

.
.
.

Taehyung pulled back from the pillow when he felt the wetness under his cheek. He looked down
to see the damp area on the pillow and a hollowed laugh escaped his lips.

He wiped at his eyes and sat up. It was almost evening. He looked at the clock and pulled himself
up.

Today was one of that ' once-in-a-blue moon,’ kind of days when they got complete rest. Taehyung
had locked himself in his room since morning, going through those posts to see what those fans
saw before he did. He had watched videos and found himself curled up on the bed while thinking
how could he not notice? It was right there. Jungkook’s affection for Jimin. It was right in front of
his eyes and he had missed it.

“Tae?”

Taehyung looked at the door to see Jin peeking inside, looking at him with a small smile.

“Hey, help me with dinner?”

Taehyung stood up, nodding his head, “sure, hyung. Just give me a second. I will change and come
there.”

Jin nodded, “and can you call Jimin or Jungkook? They went to have lunch and haven’t come back
yet.”

Taehyung let those words sink in, waiting for the pain in his chest to subside before he nodded, “I
will call them.”

Jin was gone, closing the door behind himself with a soft thud.

Taehyung didn’t call them.

He was done being the ‘disturbance.’

===***===

It was a week since Jungkook’s confession and Taehyung found himself noticing Jimin and
Jungkook’s interactions more and more. He noticed how Jimin hooked his arm around the
younger. He eyed the way Jungkook fed Jimin a slice of pizza or filled his plate when the older
whined about a diet he was following. He turned away when he heard the unabashed laugh they
shared. He started to realize it was hard.

One-sided love was hard.

Knowing you loved someone and they didn’t love you back was one thing.

Knowing the person you love was in love with your best friend was a different kind of pain.

No matter how hard Taehyung tried to support them, he found himself drifting away from them.
He wanted to be there for Jungkook but every time Jungkook looked at Jimin, a chunk of his own
heart was falling away. It felt like Taehyung was falling in an abyss which had no end. It was
suffocating. It was terrifying.

Taehyung found himself avoiding the dorm at any cost. He started hanging out with his other
friends more. He found himself near the Han River at the middle of the night, sitting on a bench as
his bodyguards lurked around. He couldn’t cry anymore. It felt like tears were dying in him, just
like those smiles he used to doll on his face.

Members were noticing the change in him as days rolled by.

Jin started making sure he ate his meals. He would wait until Taehyung came back every night to
silently fill his plate and wait for Taehyung to finish it.

Namjoon would pat his shoulders, stand close to him during interviews and make sure Taehyung
was feeling okay after their practices.

Hoseok would come into his room and start a conversation. Very random ones, trying to distract
Taehyung enough to make him laugh. He was not succeeding a lot lately.

Jimin hung off of him. Whenever Taehyung was home, Jimin was on him, talking, laughing,
poking, and starting pillow fights. Taehyung noticed how those smiles would dim when
Taehyung’s answering laughs were not that bright. When Taehyung’s shoulders would drop with
the exhaustion of pretence. He hated himself for making Jimin sad in any way but that was all he
was doing lately.

Jungkook kept calling him whenever he was out. He would leave messages, telling Taehyung he
missed him. He started coming to Taehyung’s room more and more. To a point, Taehyung was
sure he was sleeping on Taehyung’s bed more than his own. Taehyung never found out if it was
good for the two of them or bad. He didn’t want to. He would just soak up the boy’s warmth every
night and ignore the pang in his chest when he would leave the boy sleeping on his bed so that he
didn’t have to look at those eyes.

The only one who treated him normally was Yoongi. He would nod at him in passing, leave tea
beside him in the morning and pat him on his back during the rehearsals. Taehyung found himself
gravitating towards Yoongi more and more. Maybe it was because of how Yoongi didn’t change in
this whole fiasco. He loved how doting his hyungs were and how lovely his best friend and
Jungkook were to him but they didn’t understand his need for space. They didn’t understand how
Taehyung wanted to sort the mess that was his heart before he went back to normal.

If he would ever.

So maybe it was the only reason why he found himself knocking on Genius lab’s door one night.
He waited until he was pinged in and his feet halted when he saw Hoseok and Namjoon sitting on
the sofa, writing something.

Yoongi was on his chair, facing Taehyung with a neutral expression. His eyes hooded under the
beanie he wore.

“Tae!” Hoseok grinned, “Are you here to submit your song?”

Taehyung hadn’t written his song yet.

He looked at where Namjoon was grinning at him too, expectant. He fumbled for words, hands
playing with the scarf that was around his neck.

“I need some fresh air and some coffee,” Yoongi stood up, pulling on his jacket and combing his
hair back with his fingers before wearing the beanie again, “wanna join?”

Taehyung nodded dumbly, “sure.”

“You two finish the writing and leave the papers on my desk,” Yoongi said, “don’t touch anything.
Both of you. Leave after you are done.”

“God! Alright!” Namjoon rolled his eyes, already coming forward to sit on Yoongi’s chair, “have
some faith in us.”

“I don’t have any,” Yoongi said, closing the door behind himself.

Taehyung followed the older mutely. Until they were in the lift and Yoongi pressed the button for
the terrace.

“The cafeteria is on the first floor,” Taehyung muttered, confused.

Yoongi shrugged, “I need some fresh air first.”

Taehyung leaned against the wall, trying to figure out what exactly he wanted to talk about. There
was silence and it was comforting. Yoongi was not trying to pry or ask him constantly how he was
feeling. It was good. It was what Taehyung wanted. Someone to just stay beside him and not ask
questions.

The cool breeze hit him as soon as the lift opened and Taehyung shivered, hugging himself as they
walked out on the terrace.

Yoongi went straight for the water storage tank and started climbing the ladder. Taehyung
followed.

When they reached the roof, Taehyung sat beside Yoongi, their legs hanging off the edge and
Yoongi leaning back on his hands.

For a few minutes that was all they did. Taehyung watched the Seoul skyline, letting the darkness
seep into him. He sucked in a deep breath, filling his lungs to the brim. It only made his eyes
blurry, too much air in his chest made those deeply buried words come out of his mouth with a
shove.

“I am in love with Jungkook.”

He heard those words for the first time like that. Loud and clear. It didn’t drift away with the air. It
hung there, around him, like a cloak. A cloak that was suffocating him, tightening around him
mercilessly. Taehyung let those words ring in his ears. He tried soaking in the pain those words
caused. When he couldn’t, he let the tears topple over the rim of his eyes.

Yoongi laid down on his back, looking up at the sky. When Taehyung looked at him, Yoongi
extended his left arm, saying nothing.

Taehyung followed, head pillowed on Yoongi’s arm and heart bare for Yoongi to see. He found
himself talking. Once he started, he couldn’t stop. All those words, all those feelings, heartaches,
tears came out and Taehyung felt his chest spasm because of the emptiness he felt after letting go
of so much.

“Say something,” Taehyung said, watching the moon hide behind a flurry of cloud, “please.”

Yoongi let out a breath, his chest rising and falling. He hummed, thinking. Taehyung waited.

“I can be two things to you, Tae,” Yoongi fondled with Taehyung’s hair, “one, I can tell you to
suck it up, man up, and move on. Two, I can be the shoulder you lean on. I am saying this from
personal experience, the first option is shitty. I can tell you to man up and move on but it’s not
easy. It’s never easy to let go. It takes time and sometimes we don’t move on. Sometimes it stays
with us for years. The way we feel… it may get easier with time but it never leaves. The hurt, I
mean. So I don’t want to be the first option.”

“I can’t ever tell him how I feel,” Taehyung whispered, the fear, the sorrow he carried deep within
him coming out in the darkness where he could pretend that he was talking to himself and no one
else was there, “I will never be able to confess. I won’t be able to have him. I don’t want to hate
him or Jimin but I need time. Hyung, everyone is on the edge, looking at me as if waiting for me to
explode and I can’t tell them to wait. I am not getting the time I need to sort my feelings. Every
night he would come to sleep beside me, why can’t he understand I need some space? I wish he
would go to Jimin, I wish he would stop coming to me but then he hugs me and I…” fresh tears
rolled out of his eyes, “and like a pathetic mess, I hug him back. I soak him up just as much as I
can. I feel like I am taking advantage of his vulnerability. I feel cheap when I think I will be fine
with just that. Being his hyung. His best friend. My self-respect takes a blow whenever I just settle
for being his second choice because at least, I have him. Is that pathetic? I am so needy. I just…”

“You are the most selfless person I know, Tae,” Yoongi said, “you could have started plotting
against them. You could have been bitter. You could have started hating Jimin but you didn’t. You
are not cheap. You love that guy. You won’t get him fully but trying to take up as much as you can
is not selfish. It’s okay. I won’t tell you how to deal with your heart but I will be here. Whenever
you need me. I will be here. Just know that I understand. I am here. We all are. Maybe others are
not behaving as you want them to but they are here for you too. Yeah?”

Taehyung turned in Yoongi’s arms and hid his face in his chest, “thank you,” he tried to push past
the clog that was lodged in his throat, “thank you, hyung.”

Yoongi hummed, his fingers still combing through Taehyung’s hair.

It was silent like that for a long time. Both of them now facing the sky and staying quiet.

“Who is it?” Taehyung asked after a while. He didn’t turn his head to see Yoongi but he knew it
was not needed. Yoongi was right beside him.

“Not as brave as you are, Tae,” Yoongi said, chuckling, “I am fine now.”

“Are you really?” Taehyung asked, turning on his side, eyes mapping out the side of the older
man’s face, “fine?”

Yoongi let out a breath, shrugging, “you will see.”

Taehyung snorted, “Am I joining your cult or something?”

Yoongi laughed, shaking his head, “the broken hearts’ club?”

“Oh, God!” Taehyung shuddered, chuckling.

“I will send you the rules and regulations of the club. Let’s go now,” Yoongi said, “my clothes are
dirty now. God!”

“I will clean them for you,” Taehyung smiled, sitting up, “laundry by me.”

“That’s great,” Yoongi nodded, standing up and slapping at his pants to shake off the dirt, “I hate
laundry.”
When the doors of the lift closed Taehyung looked at Yoongi and tried to understand what the
older was feeling. He never really noticed the draught the older was going through. Who was the
one Yoongi loved?

“Is it someone from the group?” Taehyung asked.

Yoongi looked at him, small eyes almost hidden under his beanie. He gave Taehyung a lazy smile.

“Shut up, Tae.”

===***===

“I can’t move my legs anymore,” Taehyung whined, shaking his head, “I will die if you make me
rehearse any longer. Trust me, hyung, I am feeling like I don’t have legs.”

Hoseok gave him an unimpressed look and placed his hands on his hips. He looked around the
room helplessly before looking down at Taehyung.

“Seriously, Tae! It has only been an hour!” Hoseok sounded frantic, “we have a concert in a week.
You can’t give up like this now! Come on!”

“Five minutes,” Taehyung held up his hands, “give me at least five minutes. Please, please?”

“You are no good!” Hoseok stomped his foot, “look at Jungkook and Jimin! They are still going.
You are the same age as them. How come you are so tired?”

Taehyung looked over at where Jimin was practising a spin. Jungkook was right beside him, hands
stretched out to hold Jimin if he fell. They were laughing at something the younger had said. Both
of their bodies so in sync, it felt like they were each other’s shadows.

They looked perfect together.

Taehyung looked back at Hoseok with a small smile, “I am not them. Just five minutes, hyung,
please?”

Hoseok gave in, going towards Yoongi who glared at him as he approached.

“Am I the only one who gives a fuck about the concert? Why are you glaring at me, Min Yoongi?”

Yoongi flipped him the bird and went back to sipping from his bottle. When his eyes met
Taehyung’s, they shared a small smile.

===***===

Taehyung hated Anpanman. He hated how Jungkook held him close and tucked his chin on his
shoulder. He hated how he could feel the younger’s body pressing against his back. He hated how
he could feel those lips, almost touching his neck as Jungkook grinned against him.

When he turned towards the younger, Jungkook was grinning at him. Taehyung smiled back,
bopping his nose before going to his place.

Throughout the concert, he found himself around Jungkook. No matter how many times he tried to
pull away, edge away, Jungkook came barreling in his space. The younger one pulled him towards
the B-stage, making up choreographies and asking Taehyung to join him. Taehyung did. When it
became too much, he grabbed Jungkook’s wrist and shoved him towards Jimin, laughing when
they both stumbled, holding onto each other to steady their position. When they both turned their
heads towards him and mouthed a few curses, Taehyung giggled, turning around to run off.

When he turned away, his smile dimmed. Taehyung ran towards the main stage with his head hung
low. He looked up just in time to see Yoongi looking at him. His eyes widened when Yoongi gave
him a finger-heart. He held his hands up, shaping it as a heart with a wide smile.

When he turned towards the B-stage after reaching the main stage, he watched Jungkook looking
at him. There was a frown on his face but it was soon replaced with a smile when Jimin jumped on
his back.

Taehyung turned towards the other side.

===***===

“Great concert, everyone,” Namjoon hollered, clapping his hands together, “now take some rest for
these two weeks before we go to America.”

Everyone clapped, cheering. The Asian leg of the tour had ended. Now they would go to America.

Taehyung walked into the dressing room and changed, letting the makeup artists wipe at his face.
He closed his eyes, feeling the cold wipes on his heated skin. It was leaving goosebumps on his
skin. He tried to regain his breathing, smiling when Hoseok kissed the top of his head, telling him
how great he was on the stage. Jin patted his back, telling him how good he sounded for his solo
performance too. Everyone hummed in agreement. Taehyung grinned at them in gratefulness.

He let the chaos wash over him, silently trying to nod off until their cars pulled up to pick them up
for the hotel.

“Make sure you put on lotion after reaching the hotel,” the makeup artist spoke, “use some lip-
balm too. Face masks are good too but knowing you, you will fall asleep. Just don’t forget about
the lotion.”

Taehyung nodded, smiling.

“Who am I sharing the room with?” he asked over his shoulder.

“Jin hyung?” Namjoon asked, “You have the list, right?”

Jin nodded, opening an eye to look at Taehyung through the mirror, “you are sharing with
Jungkook. Yoongi is sharing with Hobi. Me and Namjoon. Jimin got a single room.”

“Can I have that single room?” Taehyung asked, noticing Jungkook when the younger came to sit
on the chair beside his own.

“Ask Jimin,” Jin shrugged, apologizing to the makeup artist when she mumbled something about
poking his eyes.

“Did you see Jimin?” Taehyung asked Jungkook who was now getting his makeup removed.

“He is outside, talking to his mum,” Jungkook muttered, smiling at Taehyung, “what do you wanna
talk to him about?”

“We two are sharing a room. You and me,” Taehyung said, “I want to ask him if he can switch
with me.”

Jungkook’s smile dimmed a little. He turned his face towards Taehyung with a confused frown.
 “You won’t share a room with me? Why?” Jungkook looked a little disturbed. His fingers fidgeting
on his lap as he tried to maintain eye contact with Taehyung.

Taehyung reached out, taking Jungkook’s hand in his, rubbing it with assurance, “don’t you want
to spend more time with him? Alone? Isn’t that what young people in love do?”

Taehyung whispered the last line near Jungkook’s ear, grinning. Jungkook looked at him with the
same expression.

“What?” Taehyung asked, grin dimming a little, “isn’t this better? What are you looking so upset
for?”

“Okay,” Jungkook nodded, looking away, “yeah. I understand. Thanks.”

Taehyung looked at Jungkook when the younger one pulled his hand away, looking back at the
mirror. He looked upset and Taehyung didn’t know why. He was doing it for him. He was giving
him some time with Jimin. Wasn’t that a good thing? Jungkook could share a few hours alone with
the one he loved. Why was he not happy?

“I am so tired I will fall asleep on the way to the hotel,” Jimin entered, unceremoniously coming
over to Jungkook and plopping down on his lap, "Mr Muscle-bunny, carry me to my room. Yeah?”

Jungkook nodded, giving him a small smile. His smile widened when Jimin whined some more,
wailing about how tough the choreography was for him. Jungkook laughed, rubbing his arms
soothingly on Jimin's back.

Taehyung's heart squeezed in his chest. The laughter and chaos tuned out as the hollow feeling in
his chest emerged. It felt like he was watching everything through a screen. He felt the ache in his
chest but he couldn't do anything. Taehyung sucked in a breath, steadying himself and looking at
the mirror.

When he looked back at the mirror, his eyes found Yoongi.

The man was looking at Jungkook and Jimin. Taehyung looked back at himself.

They both had the same expression on their faces.

Oh…

===***===

Chapter End Notes

TWITTER
 { Now my forever's falling down }
Chapter Summary

DO NOT TRANSLATE MY WORK. I GIVE NO PERMISSION FOR THAT. IF

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The loud knock on the door made him sigh. Taehyung closed his laptop and pulled on the T-shirt
he had discarded on the bedpost. With a tired whine, he went for the door.

“I come bearing news,” Jimin announced as soon as Taehyung opened the door of his room.

Taehyung eyed his best friend and Jungkook who was held captive by his wrist by Jimin who
almost pulled him along to Taehyung’s bed.

“Were you watching porn?” Jimin asked, nose scrunching up with disgust, “Why are there so many
tissues on the bed? Eww!”

Taehyung rolled his eyes, sweeping at the tissues and watching them fall on the ground. He had to
clean those later.

“I was watching Titanic. I cried.”

“You could have called me!” Jungkook said, “I always distract you when you cry.”

Taehyung took his time, sorting through the clothes on his bed and walking a few feet over to the
closet to throw them inside. He wished he could tell the younger that Taehyung needed distraction
from him.

When he came back to sit on the bed, Jimin was almost bouncing on his position with excitement.
Taehyung smiled, excited Jimin was a sight for everyone present.

“We need to take a trip,” Jimin said, eyes wide and grin just as much wide on his face, “the
maknae line. I have fixed it all. We are going for three days. To Japan.”

“Are you asking or telling us?” Jungkook asked, smiling at Jimin with his hand still in Jimin’s grip.

Taehyung gripped his own hands, trying to keep his eyes fixed on Jimin’s face and watch how the
sunlight was making his skin glow like a fairy. He noticed how Jimin’s expression softened when
he looked at Jungkook. Taehyung could almost feel the love Jimin had for the younger one. His
hands felt cold, no matter how much he rubbed them together, they lacked the warmth Taehyung
craved.

“I am announcing. We all are free. I have already booked the tickets and the hotel. We will share a
room and everything. Come on, guys. It will be so much fun!”

Jungkook looked at Jimin and then back at Taehyung. The smile was growing on his face. Those
bunny-like teeth coming out on display as his nose scrunched with exasperation.

Taehyung reeled back, his inside twisting when he saw how Jungkook gripped Jimin’s hand tightly
in his, nodding with so much excitement that his hair almost flew around him like loose feathers.
Both of them bursting with giggles and words, talking about places they would visit and things
they would try once they reach Japan.

Taehyung never really understood how a person felt alone in a group of friends. He knew how to
blend in and he knew how to enjoy his own company to ignore any discomfort that came with a
couple in a group. For the first time, he was feeling how it was to watch a couple in making while
you stand at the sideline, watching with emptiness in your heart growing as the one you loved walk
away from you.

The emptiness grew, even more, when Jungkook squirmed closer to Jimin, loudly chattering about
the new camera that he would use to film their whole journey.

He watched them and felt like they were sitting on the different side of a pole. No matter how
much Taehyung tried, he couldn’t reach out and take a hold of Jungkook and it felt like Jungkook
was not even trying anymore. It was as if the ground was breaking, taking them apart. No matter
how much Taehyung tried to keep everything normal, nothing was. Nothing was really ever going
to be normal.

Ears filled with their laughter and heart filled with the realization that he was the odd one in the
group, he smiled.

The headache was coming back and Taehyung wanted to sleep. It was the middle of the day but
nowadays he was sleeping a lot. It felt good to just let go like that. Sleep was the only time when
he wasn’t thinking about how everything around him was falling apart while he watched
helplessly.

“Tae?”

He blinked, looking up to see Jimin frowning at him, “where are you lost? Are you in?”

Taehyung wanted to say no. he wanted to say he had plans but he knew they would force him. He
knew they would whine and beg until he agreed to go with them. The thought of three days with
just the two of them made something crawl in his guts. Which was a new feeling. Taehyung loved
how everyone called them the maknaes of the group. How the three of them were a unit. He liked
spending time with Jimin and Jungkook the most but now it felt like he was running away from
them.

In front of his eyes, he was seeing their friendship fall apart and he was the reason. The pain of
losing that special bond and the guilt of knowing the reason was he, made it unbearable.

“Fine,” he nodded, “let’s take a trip. It’s great, yeah.”

In a second he had Jimin and Jungkook on him, smashing him against the mattress with their
weights. Taehyung put his arms around the both of them, pulling them impossibly closer.

“I love you,” he muttered against their heads, “I love you two so much.”

Jimin looked up at him, supporting his weight on his elbow, “we love you more.”

Jungkook nodded eagerly, following Jimin in looking down at Taehyung, “yes. We love you
more.”

Jimin’s eyes widened, “oh, God! Tae? Are you crying?!”

Taehyung pulled them both down on his chest, shaking his head with a soft chuckle, “shut up.
Just… stay here for a bit.”

They complied, linking their limbs together and pressing in on Taehyung.

Taehyung closed his eyes, trying to soak in the warmth around him as he felt his eyes burn with
more tears. He pressed his nose in Jungkook’s hair, feeling how the boy snuggled closer to him. A
choked sound tried to escape him when he felt the soft lips pressed against his jawline.

He was crying then.

For the loss of friendship.

For the loss of himself.

He was fading away and he hoped they forgave him one day.

===***===

“Why can’t you accept that your life will be miserable if I am not there?” Jin said, fretting over
Namjoon’s finger that he cut while chopping an onion.

“Why can’t you stop babying me?” Namjoon fired back.

“Why can’t you grow up then?” Jin huffed a breath, giving their leader an exasperated look.

“I might if you leave me alone!” Namjoon glared back.

“I will if you stop trailing me,” Jin crossed his arms against his chest.

“Why can’t you already get married?” Hoseok muttered under his breath and Taehyung snorted.

“Seriously, you two hook up. Take care of each other,” Hoseok started counting on his fingers
when Jin smacked him, “love each other like this,” he pointed at where Jin held Namjoon’s hand in
his, delicately wiping away the blood, “why not start dating?”

Taehyung watched how Namjoon and Jin shrugged, both so in sync, he was a little freaked out, and
then ignored Hoseok. After the bandage was done, Jin shooed Namjoon out of the kitchen, opening
the boiling pot to drop the veggies in it.

Taehyung sucked in a breath, filling his chest with the smell of breakfast. It made his stomach
growl. Holding the cup of tea in his hands, he leaned his head against Hoseok’s shoulder.

“Sometimes love is not enough to jeopardize what we already have,” Jin said suddenly, mixing the
ingredients in the pot, “relationships are hard, Hobi. A lot of things can go wrong. Whereas
hookups are just that. Hookups. You don’t mix feelings in that. We have sex when we feel like and
then we are back to being friends. No strings attached. No feelings involved.”

“Have you never thought of…” Hoseok made a vague gesture, “being together?”

Jin shook his head, “I am fine like this. So is he. We talked about it and I think it works for the
best. If one day he finds someone, I will be happy for him. He will be the same for me. It’s simple
like that.”

Hoseok pursed his lips, “I don’t know, bro. I want to have someone as a lover before we go all in,
you know? I need that kind of security, I guess.”

“That’s completely okay,” Jin nodded back, filling a bowl with the soup, “each on their own.”

Hoseok nudged Taehyung’s side, smirking at him when Taehyung looked at him, “what about our
Taehyungie? What does he like?”

Taehyung smiled, staying silent.

“I believe in hookups,” Jimin came around the kitchen counter, holding an empty mug, “I mean
until I find someone I want to settle down with, hookups keep me off the edge. You don’t do it,
that’s why you are always so constipated, hyung.”

Everyone except Hoseok laughed in the kitchen.

“I mean, until you mix feelings in the potion, hookups are the best,” Jin said, shrugging, “just sex
and no thoughts. But if you have feelings for the other one… you are fucked.”

“In true sense,” Taehyung nodded, “that’s painful. To just be someone’s sex buddy when you have
feelings for them.”

“Unless you know how to hide it well,” Yoongi said from the sofa, “then I guess, you can have
your orgasms.”

“God! Yoongi, let’s hook up then,” Hoseok said, jumping down from the stool to go over to where
Yoongi was laying on the sofa, “I am sex-deprived. So are you. We are best friends. We would die
before falling for each other like that. We are compatible. I am flexible. You don’t move at all. I
can bend into any position you like. That will make it easy. Right?”

Yoongi made a retching noise and everyone laughed. Jimin muttered something about needing
bleach and Jin giggled even more, bending in half almost. Taehyung grinned when Hoseok started
kissing Yoongi’s cheeks, ignoring the loud protests from the man underneath him. He looked back
at where Jin was holding out a bowl for him to take.

“No but imagine Yoongi hyung and Hobi hyung hooking up,” Jimin said, coming around
Taehyung to sit on a stool, “imagine the chaos!”

Taehyung almost snorted in the soup and kicked at the boy. Jimin fell on the floor with a few
curses, making everyone laugh at him.

“Thanks, Tae,” Yoongi said, closing his eyes.

“Anytime,” Taehyung nodded, watching how Hoseok laid down on him. Yoongi just wrapped his
arms around Hoseok, both talking in hushed tone after that.
He turned back towards the kitchen counter, eating his breakfast.

“There you are!” Jin let out a dramatic sigh and Taehyung stilled.

Two arms circled his waist and Jungkook nuzzled closer, standing behind Taehyung with his body
pressed against him.

“Good morning,” his sleep muddled voice whispered against Taehyung’s ear. Taehyung’s grip on
the spoon tightened. He gulped down the soup, sour on his tongue now, and nodded. Words were
lost in his throat as he felt the way Jungkook’s nose rubbed against his cheek. For attention.

“Sit on my lap,” Jungkook said, “lemme sit.”

Taehyung looked at where Jimin was eating his breakfast and another stool was empty beside him.
He looked at Jungkook, trying not to linger on those soft eyes or those pouty lips for long.

“There’s an empty seat right there, Gukkie,” he said, pointing at it, “sit over there.”

Jungkook frowned and pulled away. His eyes were still hooded from sleepiness and those locks
were unruly, falling on his eyes. He swiped at them as he went for that stool and Taehyung looked
down at his bowl.

“Shit!” Taehyung cursed loudly when he was lifted off the stool and carried away.

“Jungkook!” he thrashed in Jungkook’s arms, “I am not done with the breakfast!”

“We can share,” Jungkook said, taking him over to the couch near the window where he planted
himself with Taehyung still in his arms.

Taehyung glared at him as Namjoon came to place the bowls in front of them. A gentle smile on
his face as he watched the youngest ones.

“Eat with me?” Jungkook asked, holding out the spoonful of soup for Taehyung.

Taehyung looked away, taking a tentative sip, “why you keep manhandling me? God! I will break
my neck someday if you drop me!”

Jungkook didn’t answer. Instead, he fed Taehyung and helped himself at the same time.

Taehyung leaned his head against Jungkook’s shoulder and looked outside. Winter was
approaching. It was cold and hollow outside. The sun rays reflecting on the glasses, making
rainbows on Taehyung’s skin. Taehyung sighed in contentment, trying to breathe in the crisp air.
He made circles on Jungkook’s arm, where the younger was holding him, and let out a soft breath.

“I can’t wait for the vacation,” Jungkook said, voice muffled when he hid his face against
Taehyung’s nape, “I will take so many photos and we will have so much fun. I am so excited!”

Taehyung closed his eyes, nodding, “same here, Gukkie. Same here.”

===***===

Yoongi wiped at his eyes, rubbing it dry before focusing back on the computer screen. The layers
from the new song stared back at him. He tapped at the controller to fix the brightness of the
screen just to realize it was already on the lowest. He pulled back a little, looking over at where his
phone was vibrating on the sofa, the buzzing noise making him itch. He dutifully ignored the
phone, going back to tapping on the keyboard. It was late and Yoongi knew the solitude would last
only until someone from the group came barging into the studio to grab at him and drag him back
to the dorm.

It was their new normal. After they found him passed out on the studio floor, clutching at his
stomach and thrashing for breath, they had made this rule where Yoongi was not supposed to work
after twelve. No matter what the reason was. At least seven hours of sleep. Even if he couldn’t, he
had to try. No working throughout the night anymore.

“You will die at this rate!” Hoseok had shouted, frantic, “you know that, right?! You were almost
dead!”

Everyone surrounding him nodded. From the corner of his eyes, Yoongi could see Jin wiping at his
eyes, Taehyung sniffling against Jungkook’s chest, who was holding onto Jin’s arm for dear life
and Namjoon had a death grip on the bedpost, eyes blood-shot.

He didn’t dare to look at his side. Where he could hear the whimpers were coming from Jimin.

“I just had a stomach ache!” Yoongi had tried to weakly protest, wincing when even talking had
pulled at his muscles. He had tried to hide the wince, only for all of them to reach out for him
instinctively.

“Never again,” Jimin was beside him, grabbing at his palm with pain etched on his face, “either
you come back to the dorm at a reasonable hour, eat, go to sleep, or one of us go and drag your ass
back here every night. I don’t care. I won’t…”

Yoongi had sucked in a breath, his hand twitching in Jimin’s grip when he saw those tears falling
from Jimin’s eyes. He had watched, immobile, as the younger boy cried, unashamed to show how
terrified Yoongi made him feel.

“I don’t want to see that ever again,” Jimin had whimpered, squirming closer to Yoongi, “I like the
snarling Yoongi. Fierce, sarcastic, blunt, aloof. I can’t see you writhing with so much pain.
Helpless and almost choking with tears you probably didn’t even notice. Never again. Promise
me.”

Yoongi was always a little weak when it came to breaking Jimin’s heart.

.
.

The loud knock only made him press down on the save option. He didn’t even look over his
shoulder when he heard the door open without him beeping that person in.

“Stop abusing the knowledge of my password!” Yoongi said instead, just to make a jab. Just to fill
the silence.

Arms wrapped around his shoulders, a cold cheek pressing against his own warm one. He shivered,
flinching almost.

“Jimin!” he tried to pull away, swatting at the boy, “you are fucking freezing!”

“I ran here,” Jimin said, “forgot my scarf. Sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing to me when you will catch a cold?” Yoongi said, reaching out to grab a
hold of his own scarf from the heap of his clothes and shoving it at Jimin’s face, “wear it, dimwit!”
Jimin grinned, swivelling the chair to unceremoniously sit on Yoongi’s lap. Yoongi didn’t freeze
like he used to do before. Now he was used to the younger one’s handsy behaviour. He still made a
face though, wrapping his arms around the younger just so he won’t fall.

“I will miss you for these few days, hyung,” Jimin grinned, poking at Yoongi’s cheek, “will you
miss me when I am gone?”

Yoongi let the words pass him, slicing through his already slashed heart. He looked at those eyes,
his own eyes roaming over the face he came to love over the years. Those crooked teeth, that half-
moon-like eyes, those plump lips… Jimin…

“I will finally have a few days of peace,” he said, pinching at Jimin’s waist, “you menace.”

“I will call you every night and you have to send me selcas to let me know you are eating and
home at the right time, yeah?” Jimin’s expression turned serious, worry making him bite down on
his lower lip, “hyung?”

Yoongi sighed, “Only selcas of food. I can do that.”

“No,” Jimin shook his head, “yours too. In bed. I don’t trust you. I will worry. On my vacation,
hyung!”

Sometimes Yoongi wished Jimin was snobbish. He wished Jimin would make it hard to love him.
Sometimes Yoongi prayed that one day Jimin did something to make Yoongi fall out of love.

Yet… all Jimin did was lure him in. With those warm laughs, gentle words and soft caresses.
Yoongi hated how Jimin had him wrapped around that little finger of his and Yoongi didn’t even
care. Sometimes Yoongi wished he was enough. Enough to ask Jimin out and be confident about it.

The truth was… he wasn’t enough. Not for someone like Jimin.

As he looked up at that face, so gentle and full of warmth, Yoongi found himself laughing at the
thought of them ever being together.

He had nothing to offer. He was never going to be enough. He was just a candle, an almost burnt
out candle, in front of the sun that was Jimin. Or maybe he was Icarus, falling for the sun and
burning himself willingly, knowing he would never be enough yet giving his everything to the one
his heart chose.

He had no charm. He wasn’t as masculine as Namjoon or Jungkook.

He wasn’t a great dancer like Hoseok or Jimin himself.

He wasn’t gorgeous and beautiful like Jin or Taehyung.

His voice was not main-stream. Not alluring enough.

He was not an extrovert. He didn’t know how to mingle with people. He never liked parties or
gatherings. Every kind of merriment gave him headaches. He hated any kind of unwanted
attention. He was boring in one word. To himself even.

Unlike Jimin.

They stood poles apart and yet his heart had taken the leap and ended up falling in the abyss. And
by the end of the fall, Yoongi had found his heart broken, scattered in pieces no one could fix
anymore. Yet, with all those scattered pieces, he loved Jimin. Even then. Even now.

“Don’t worry about me, Jimine,” Yoongi spoke, trying to give the boy a small smile, “your hyung
will be fine. One day we will go our own ways, you won’t be always beside me to take care of me.
Don’t spoil me like this.”

The smile faltered on Jimin’s face and those lips jutted out unconsciously. Yoongi felt Jimin’s
arms around him tightening and when he looked up, Jimin was looking at him with a sad
expression.

“We will be together even after you have kids, hyung,” Jimin said, holding out his pinkie, “my
dream. Remember?”

Yoongi never forgot.

He wished he could.

He entangled their pinkies and looked at it, “your dream.”

It was just a dream. Dreams never came true. Fragments of imagination.

Yoongi had stopped shaping his hopes into imaginations ages ago.

“Let’s go home,” Jimin tugged at their joined hands, “come on. You make me sad. I don’t want to
be sad. Come on.”

Yoongi nodded, wordlessly wrapping the scarf around Jimin’s neck and making sure it was
covering him properly. When Jimin smiled at him, all soft and tender, Yoongi pushed him down
on the floor.

Between Jimin’s indignant cries of how Yoongi would be the death of him someday and his loudly
beating heart, Yoongi saved the song.

“Pieces of me.”

===***===

“Take another jacket,” Taehyung folded the clothes one by one, glaring at Jungkook when he
returned with two more cameras to place in the luggage.

“Seriously, Gukkie,” Taehyung huffed, “you need more clothes. Enough with the cameras! Come
here, see what else you need.”

Jungkook came to stand beside the bed and hummed, “well, you didn’t pack the most important
thing.”

Taehyung looked around the bed, checking the two luggage carefully, “what did I miss? Put it in
here then.”

He gasped when Jungkook hoisted him up and twirled, laughing when Taehyung shirked about
putting him down.

“Gukkie!” Taehyung looked down at the man when Jungkook held him up with his arms around
Taehyung’s hips, “put me down. What are you doing?!”

“I will pack you in my pockets if I can, Tae,” Jungkook grinned, “the most important thing of my
life.”

The laugh Jungkook sent his way didn’t really reach him. Taehyung felt the familiar burn in his
eyes and he huffed out a small smile. He swatted at Jungkook’s shoulder, flaring his legs.

“Put me down, you dumb! Pack your bags. I need to pack mine.”

Jungkook was still grinning up at him, arms tightening around Taehyung. Taehyung put his arms
around Jungkook’s shoulder, caressing the boy’s nape with a fond smile on his face. When
Jungkook slowly put him down on the floor, he didn’t let Taehyung completely go. Arms around
Taehyung’s waist and eyes still on his face, Jungkook looked on with a lazy smile.

“I will record you throughout the trip, Tae,” he spoke, enthusiasm evident in his voice, “for my
film. I can do with such a handsome model.”

Taehyung turned away, pushing apart Jungkook’s arms to step out of the bubble the younger one
was creating around them. He shook his head, huffing out a laugh.

“Get your things packed,” he pointed at the luggage, “I will go and pack mine.”

Jungkook nodded, going back to the closet.

Taehyung watched Jungkook pulling out more clothes. He slipped out of the room silently, closing
the door behind him.

===***===

“Where the fuck are you?!” Jimin screamed through the phone, voice frantic over the chaos of the
dorm.

Taehyung looked at the Han River, the evening sun reflecting over the tides and colouring his face
with an orange glow. If he squinted his eyes, he could see the houses on the other side of it, greyish
and illuminated by the sunrays.

He had left just after lunch, driving to the Han River for a few hours of peace. For an escapade.

“Mum called,” he spoke, voice as steady as he could manage, “there’s this emergency. I had to
leave.”

“You couldn’t have told me?! We live together, damn it!” Jimin’s voice sounded shrill, “we are
leaving for the airport. Shall we cancel?”

“No!” Taehyung shook his head, “no. We won’t have this free time soon if you don’t go now.”

“Then what, Tae?” Jimin asked again, “huh? Shall we fly out tomorrow? I think I can try and
get…”

“You and Gukkie go,” Taehyung pressed his nails on his thigh, letting the pressure ground him, “I
will fly out tomorrow if I can.”

“And if you can’t?” Jungkook asked, voice just as much desperate, “then what?”

“Then you two enjoy,” Taehyung chuckled, “We can take another vacation soon, guys. You two go
for this one.”

“You said you will try to fly out tomorrow!” Jungkook said, “Tae! Why are you ditching us?”
“I am not,” Taehyung said, eyes closing on his own accord, “I am not,” he let out a breath, rubbing
at his eyes, “just… go, guys. Next time. Yeah?”

“You know what?!” Jimin sounded sad, angry, “fine. We can’t force you anyway. Bye.”

The line went dead.

Taehyung placed the phone on the bench. The pebbles under his feet made noise as he kicked at
them, some of them rolling far away. Taehyung’s palms hid his face as he cried, shoulders shaking
with the force. He didn’t move from there until darkness fell around him, surrounding him like a
cloak. When he drove out of the city, he let out a shaky breath.

He hoped his parents would not ask too many questions about his sudden visit.

===***===

Yoongi called him two days later, on a cosy afternoon. Taehyung was sitting in their family
house’s garden, digging the soil to plant some seeds. He pulled the muddy gloves off his hands and
received the call.

“How are you?” the older’s voice was soothing, calm as always.

Taehyung smiled, “peachy. I am planting seeds, hyung. Next time I visit, I will have roses waiting
for me.”

Yoongi was silent for a few seconds. Taehyung dropped a few seeds in the hole and started closing
it with soil.

“You didn’t watch it, did you?” Yoongi asked.

Taehyung frowned, sitting down properly and digging another hole as he shook his head.

“What is it?” Taehyung asked, looking down at the freshly dug pit, “you are worrying me now.”

“Nothing to worry about,” Yoongi was quick to assure him, “just…” a long sigh was heard over
the phone. Taehyung waited, “Jungkook posted a clip. From their trip.”

Taehyung dropped the seeds in the pit, all of them, and watched them get mixed with the soil,
“oh.”

“Tae, just… it’s nothing serious. I was just worried,” Yoongi sounded troubled, “I am probably
overthinking. I am just…”

“Did it hurt?” Taehyung asked, picking up some of the seeds from the hole, pushing some mud
over the remaining seeds. He rubbed over the stains on his pants, marring the material.

“Huh?” Yoongi sounded confused.

“Watching Jimin,” Taehyung murmured, looking up to see his mother coming around the house
and giving his father a mug of something, coffee if Taehyung could assume from the steam. They
smiled at each other, eyes gentle and expression just as loving, “did it hurt you?”

“Tae,” Yoongi sighed, there was silence over the line, “I won’t ask how you know but…”

“I will see the clip when I am ready,” Taehyung said, “thanks for the heads up, hyung.”
“Tae?”

Taehyung hummed, nodding at his mum when she handed him a steaming cup of tea. He grasped it
in his hand, feeling the scorching heat against his palm and trying to soak the warmth in him.

“It will hurt,” Yoongi said, “but it will hurt less if you accept it the way it is.”

“That we are in love with two Busan boys who will probably end up together right in front of our
eyes?” Taehyung laughed, watching the liquid in his hand jostle around the cup.

Yoongi laughed too, downright belly-aching laugh. Taehyung wasn’t sure if it was hysterical or
just the man finding his words hilarious. Taehyung found himself smiling, shaking his head at his
own words.

“I seriously want to say something corny but just… you can call me anytime if you need anything,
yeah?” Yoongi mumbled, “Anytime, Tae.”

“Daegu boys gotta stick together,” Taehyung hummed, sipping his tea and closing his eyes when
warmth coursed through his throat to his chest, the sugary liquid pricking on his tongue.

Yoongi snorted, “There you go with being corny. I am hanging up now. Call me if you need
anything.”

Taehyung hummed and looked down at the screen when Yoongi cut the call. He swiped at the
screen, watching the notifications from different apps.

One from their Twitter account, a few from their group chat and numerous calls from Jimin and
Jungkook.

Taehyung opened the messages first. He had muted Jimin and Jungkook’s messages. But now he
opened Jungkook’s tab. Reading through the texts.

Jungkook had sent him photos of places he wanted to show Taehyung. Some were of sunrise or
sunsets. A few were of flowers he knew Taehyung would like. Taehyung smiled at the notes he
attached to those pictures. One liners mainly.

“You would have loved this place, Tae,” one said, a garden, “I can already imagine you smelling
through the flowers and asking so many questions. I will buy some seeds for your parents’ garden.
Roses are great here.”

“This shop sells long coats. Weird ones. You would have liked them. Want me to buy you one?”

“The sunrise was so pretty, Tae. I wish you were here. I had to watch it alone.”

“I tried to make a fort with the pillows and blankets. Jimin was so clumsy and of no help. I wish
you were here to help me.”

“We stumbled across a violin shop, an antique caught my eyes. I bought it for you. It sounds like
you somehow. Is that possible?”

“The rides are so fun here, Tae! Can you imagine screaming at the top of your lungs? I did. Jimin
didn’t go to those wild rides. He was scared. I wish you were here. Remember London eye? Yeah.
Let’s go there soon.”

The last one was of the moon. The window was open wide and the shot looked like it was taken
from the bed.

It was sent around three thirty in the morning.

“I miss you.”

Taehyung didn’t realize he was crying until he saw the drops on the screen, making the letters
fuzzy. He wiped at the screen, effectively sliding out of the app. He closed his eyes, taking a deep
breath.

“I am going for a walk,” he called out for his father who nodded, reminding him to cover himself
properly. He ran to the house, taking his coat, hat and the mask.

“Come back before dinner,” his mum called out from where she was sitting on the sofa, watching
her favourite show.

Taehyung closed the door of the house behind him, walking out on the pavement. He turned
towards the café he knew would be open until midnight. Walking with his head bowed and
headphones jammed in his ears as songs blasted through the device helped him feel grounded. He
mouthed those songs, looking down at his scruffy boots as he went. The warmth of the café was
nostalgic somehow. Taehyung remembered coming here on his way back from school, buying
pastries for home almost every day. He could still recognize a few faces. They knew him, giving
him nods and smiles as he passed.

He sat by the window at the farthest corner of the café upon having his order handed to him,
facing the wall and keeping the crowd at his back. Not that there was an overwhelming crowd
anyway. It was almost four in the evening, leaving the café a little vacant. Taehyung liked how
calm and cosy everything in there was. He leaned against the booth’s wall, pulling out his phone.

With a deep inhale he pulled up the video Jungkook had posted. Eyes on the title and thumb
hovering over the play button he hesitated.

Why was he doing this?

If Yoongi called him to check if he was alright then maybe this was not something he should see.
But curiosity was gnawing at him. He went through the comments. Almost every comment was
about Jikook being in love. He felt nauseating. He tried to imagine how Yoongi had felt reading
these comments. If he had read them at all.

Maybe he didn’t. Maybe Yoongi was not as great of a masochist as Taehyung was.

He took a sip of the hot chocolate, ignoring how it burnt his tongue. Rubbing his tongue on his
hard-palate to soothe the burn he clicked play.

It started with a vintage kind of shot of the two of them, Jimin and Jungkook. Taehyung smiled
fondly, remembering the younger one’s love for anything vintage. The shot changed quickly,
showing Jimin and focusing on him solely. The video went on, showing Jimin through the lens,
doing different activities, walking, laughing, eating, talking…

Taehyung felt the burn in his mouth, spreading, slowly spreading down his throat to his chest as
the video proceeded. It was the rides, the tea-cup ride, which made him close the app. His ears
ringing with those giggles. Taehyung wanted to press his hands against his ears to stop the echo of
Jimin’s laugh. He wanted to close his eyes so tight that all he saw was darkness instead of Jimin’s
grinning face.
He could imagine how Jungkook was behind the camera, grin wide and expression soft, loving.

An artist’s love shone through his work. Namjoon would always say. Today Taehyung was seeing
the proof of those words in front of him.

He opened his phone, hastily wiping at his eyes. He felt pathetic for every time he let his heart
believe Jungkook’s words. He hated how the younger made him feel important and missed when in
reality Jungkook didn’t miss him at all. Taehyung selected those pictures Jungkook sent him and
deleted it all. Even after it was deleted, he felt anger coursing through his body. He was hurt. He
felt betrayed.

It was fine that Jungkook was enjoying the trip. Taehyung wanted him to enjoy the trip. He wanted
Jungkook and Jimin to spend time together, enjoy each other’s company. He had accepted that.

But why Jungkook was tagging him along? Why was Jungkook sending him photos and messages
he didn’t mean?

Why was he breaking Taehyung in ways so painful?

Even after the pictures were gone, Taehyung felt like crying. He remembered those lines. He
remembered that ‘I miss you.’

He remembered how hope felt like after reading those texts.

All those photos, all those lines were clashing with the video he just saw. That ‘miss you,’ was
breaking apart under the weight of the giggles and merriment of the video.

Taehyung knew he was supposed to calm down before taking any action but he was never good
with following rational thoughts. The impulse was his forte. Even if he regretted it later. Taehyung
liked acting on impulses.

.
.

“Taehyung?”

Taehyung exhaled deeply, closing his eyes, “I have a few days off. Let’s take a vacation.”

“Wait, what?” Bogum sounded confused. Taehyung didn’t blame him.

“Trip,” Taehyung swirled the hot chocolate, lukewarm by now, “let’s take a trip together. You are
free now. Right?”

“I am,” Bogum hummed, “Is everything alright? You sound like you ran a few miles.”

“I did,” Taehyung chuckled, the sound empty and hollow, “a few miles. So the trip. Tomorrow?”

“Tae,” Bogum sounded alarmed, “it’s too soon. You are hiding something. Right? What is it?”

“Just…” Taehyung slumped against the backrest of the booth, “please, hyung. I am feeling
suffocated here. Please. Let’s take this vacation. I want to go on this trip. I need it. I…”

“Tae, relax,” Bogum sounded alarmed, “please. Take a deep breath for me. Okay, fine. Let’s take
the vacation. Tomorrow. Where do you want to go?”

===***===
“We will go to Jeju Island together, yeah?” Jungkook’s voice was wistful, their limbs tangled on
Jungkook’s bed, both awake in the middle of the night, “you and me. Okay?”

“Okay.”

===***===

“Jeju Island,” Taehyung watched the street outside, illuminated with the evening glow, “let’s go to
Jeju Island.”

“Fine,” Bogum hummed, “I will call you to tell you the details.”

“We have to go tomorrow,” Taehyung said, “make sure you get the tickets. If you can’t then call
me. I will get it. Yeah?”

Bogum chuckled, “I will, Tae. Relax.”

Taehyung was about to cut the call when Bogum muttered his name, “yeah?”

“Are you alright? Is there something wrong?” Bogum sounded cautious, “you can tell me, you
know?”

“Everything is wrong, hyung,” Taehyung took a sip of the chocolate, “but from now on, I will fix
it. Don’t worry. I will be fine.”

===***===

The phone rang for the fourth time.

Yoongi sucked on the butt of the cigarette, feeling the burn in his chest. The burn was good, the
sting welcoming. It helped him receive the call.

“Hyung!” the voice was as soothing as ever, yet it hurt, immensely, “hyung! I am calling you for
the fifth time! Where have you been?”

Yoongi watched the steam as he blew the smoke out of his nose, feeling the tobacco on his breath.
He said nothing. He had nothing to say.

“Did you eat?” Jimin sounded sad, “hyung. You didn’t send me any photos since I left.”

Yoongi laughed, flickering the cigarette to let the ash fall from the burning tip. He watched it float
away with the wind, leaving behind traces on his jeans. A few sparkles catching on his skin,
leaving behind a soft kind of sting.

“Are you laughing?” Jimin asked, tentative, “What’s so funny?”

Yoongi said nothing. He wanted to sleep. Yet he knew if he closed his eyes he would see Jimin.
Through Jungkook’s eyes.

Sleepless nights never looked more charming.

“Can we video call, hyung?” Jimin asked, sounding urgent, “I want to see you.”

“I saw you enough, Jiminie,” Yoongi whispered, taking a drag of the cigarette, “no more.”

There was silence before Yoongi heard the sound of traffic. Distant but present.
“I am calling.”

Yoongi let out a sigh. He wished he could run away as Taehyung did. He wished he was strong
enough to rip the bandage off and tell Jimin about his feelings. Face the rejection and be done with
it. The hope, almost dying yet there, was killing him slowly. Painfully.

The call was expected and dreaded at the same time. Yoongi swiped the receive button and fixed
the brightness enough for Jimin to see him.

“You are smoking!”

Yoongi puffed out a long exhale, watching how Jimin scrunched up his nose as if he could smell
the burnt tobacco through the screen.

“Where are you?” Jimin asked again, “hyung! Are you drinking?”

He sounded panicked and Yoongi never liked Jimin’s panicked voice. He hated it more if he was
the reason behind it.

“I am not,” Yoongi answered, “I am at the rooftop of the studio. Relax. It’s just one drag.”

“Why are you smoking?” Jimin sounded hurt, “you promised you won’t. You promised me.”

Yoongi stubbed the fire away before flicking the butt to throw it out of his grasp. He looked at the
screen and smiled.

“Sorry, Jimine, just had a tough day.”

Jimin watched him and Yoongi held the phone up when he laid down on the rooftop of the water-
tank, “where are you?”

“At the balcony,” Jimin said, “it’s late, hyung. Almost past midnight. Why aren’t you back at the
dorm?”

Yoongi felt the chill in the air, making him curl into himself, “just needed a few hours for me.
Alone.”

Jimin hummed, looking at him silently. Yoongi stared back. There were no words exchanged. Both
of them just looked at each other. Yoongi noticed how Jimin was wearing a robe. He could see the
deep cut of the robe, the boy’s milky skin on show. He tried not to think why Jimin was just in a
robe. Yoongi tried his hardest not to imagine what the two of them were doing. If Jimin was
waking up with Jungkook wrapped around him or if Jimin was wearing a robe because that was
easiest to discard.

“Why are you wearing a robe?” he blurted out, sounding frustrated.

Jimin’s eyes widened and he looked down as if he was noticing the robe right then. A smile tugged
on his lips as he looked back up at Yoongi.

“I was calling you from the bathtub,” he shrugged, “you weren’t answering. I was kind of freaking
out. I wanted to see you so I hurriedly pulled on the robe.”

Yoongi exhaled, frowning, “you are out on the balcony. Wearing a robe. You will catch a cold,
Jimin. Get inside and wear something. Come on.”

The smile on Jimin’s face widened. He leaned closer to the screen, eyes focused on Yoongi’s face.
“Are you worried for me, hyung?”

“Yes,” Yoongi nodded, unabashed, “now wear something comfortable and show me.”

“Okay,” Jimin said, “hang on a second.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened, “what? Are you going to change while staying on line with me?”

“Yeah?” Jimin frowned, “why?”

Yoongi could only stare, mouth agape.

When the realization hit Jimin, the boy looked flustered. His mouth opening with gibberish words
and sputters falling out of it. Yoongi would have laughed if he wasn’t feeling his heartbeat speed
up so much.

“Hyung!” Jimin whined, “I won’t show you that I am changing. You… stop it!”

Yoongi sighed, falling back on the cold floor, “just… whatever, Jiminie. Change now.”

Jimin went into the room, darkness surrounding him.

“Kookie is out,” Jimin said, “he was calling Tae and Tae isn’t picking up our calls. Do you know
why, hyung?”

“He went home,” Yoongi shrugged, “there was an emergency. Everything is fine now. Don’t
worry.”

“Kookie worries,” Jimin went to his suitcase, pulling out a T-shirt and a jogger, “Tae hasn’t picked
up our calls at all since we left. I don’t know, hyung,” he stood up, looking at Yoongi with a small
frown on his face, “nowadays it feels like he is drifting away.”

The sadness in Jimin’s voice was palpable. Yoongi understood the yearning. He had heard it in
Hoseok’s voice when he was dealing with his own troubles. It was worry and longing for your best
friend. A best friend who was fading away. Yoongi had seen Hoseok cry beside him, telling him he
missed him.

“Just… give him time, Jiminie,” Yoongi said, “he is probably going through a lot. One thing I can
say, from my personal experience, don’t give up on him.”

Jimin watched him, “hyung…”

Yoongi smiled at him, small and rueful, “I am glad at that time Hobi didn’t give up on me. He was
constantly there. Even when I pushed him away. He was there. As support and Jiminie, I can’t be
more thankful. I was drifting away and he… he grounded me. That’s what a best friend should be.
The grounding force. Someone to reach out for. Even if Tae looks and feels like he is not there for
you or wanting you to be there for him, just… don’t give up on him.”

“You love him,” Jimin said, whispered voice carrying through the line, “hobi hyung.”

Yoongi giggled, shaking his head, “completely in a platonic way.”

Jimin chuckled, “hyung… you know that we were there for you too. Right?”

“Hmm?” Yoongi asked, confused.

“When you were like that…” Jimin’s words stuttered out of him, as if he was scared to voice those
thoughts, “we all were there for you. It’s just… only Hobi hyung knew how to approach you.”

“I know, Jiminie,” Yoongi said, “I know.”

Jimin looked at him with something like adoration and Yoongi felt the ache in his chest intensify.
Only if Jimin cared more than a friend. But he didn’t and Yoongi had no reason to dwell on that
expression. He snapped his fingers in front of the screen, chuckling when Jimin blinked at him.

“Get ready for bed,” Yoongi said, “I am hanging up now.”

“Hyung, at that time…” Jimin sounded melancholic, face centimeters away from the screen, “I
stayed up every night until you came home.”

Yoongi was blinking at his home screen after that. Jimin was already gone.

===***===

“You look stressed,” Bogum said, looking over the sea as they sat on the boulders.

The cool air smelt of salt and the sound of the tides were calming somehow. Taehyung inhaled
deeply, filling his chest with the scent that was welcoming and unknown. Of a new place. His eyes
closed on their own accord and he smiled, feeling the calm in his heart. For that moment.

“That’s why I am on this vacation,” Taehyung nodded, “to detoxify myself.”

Bogum looked at the sea, humming. Taehyung liked how the man never really pressed him for
details. With Bogum, it was just Taehyung. He was no way connected to BTS or no way reminded
him of …

“You can tell me if anything is wrong,” Bogum said, “but for now, let’s eat something. Yeah? I
am hungry.”

Taehyung stood up with Bogum’s help, slapping at his jeans to dust off the sand as they went.

“What are you doing?” he asked, laughing when Bogum pointed the camera at his face, walking
backwards, “you will fall on your ass.”

Bogum shrugged, smirking, “your face is worth falling for.”

Taehyung grinned. It was easy. Flirting and blurring the lines a little with Bogum was always so
easy. They never crossed the line fully because both of them treasured each other too much to blur
that line. But they flirted with the line of friendship and something more almost always. Taehyung
liked how he didn’t have to measure his actions and words around the man. He liked being the
younger one for a change, letting the control go.

As they went, Bogum clicked a lot of photos. He made Taehyung stand in front of the milestones
or the seashore and asked him to pose and Taehyung did. Happily.

“I am glad we came here,” Bogum said, walking into a diner, “we both needed some time off.
Huh?”

Taehyung nodded, grinning at him, “I was just dying to be alone for a few days.”

“Am I being here disturbing you in being alone?” Bogum asked, brows raised with a smirk.
 Taehyung laughed, shaking his head, “you know… alone, away from BTS.”

“Away from being V?” Bogum asked.

Taehyung nodded, “I just need to find Taehyung again.”

Bogum smiled, nodding in understanding, “I hope you find him. None of us wanna lose that one.
Huh? I hope he is there somewhere.”

Taehyung looked across the street, where a couple was crossing the road, their hands entangled. He
sighed.

“I hope so too.”

Taehyung almost jumped when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out, reading the
notification.

It was a message from Jungkook.

Taehyung gulped. A shudder going through his spine. Bogum was saying something. The waitress
was placing two dishes in front of him. There were chatters and laughter all around him.

But Taehyung only heard the air rushing through his ears. The sound echoing in his mind and
making his head throb. He read the words repeatedly, feeling his grip on the edge of the table
tighten.

The dull ache in his chest was growing, almost chocking him.

“Taehyung?” Bogum asked, “Are you alright?”

Taehyung didn’t know. He could not stop reading the message Jungkook sent him.

“I kissed him.”

Chapter End Notes

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 { Would it be alright if I Pulled you closer }
Chapter Notes

Wrote it faster than I thought I would. Here. Leave your thoughts in the comment
section. I love to read them. x

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“Congratulations.”

“Oh, that’s great.”

“I am happy to read that.”

“Nice.”

“Cool.”

“Oh.”

“Why are you telling me this?!”

There were a lot of things Taehyung could have sent as a reply. The silence was the most alluring
one.

Even when mind was anything but.

“Let’s get shitfaced drunk tonight!” he said to Bogum instead, “drowning our sorrow.”

“I don’t really have a sorrow to drown though,” Bogum mused, looking at him as if trying to read
him, maybe he was, “but if you want, sure.”

“I want to,” Taehyung nodded, “it has been so long since I got myself drunk.”

“Why?” Bogum asked, sipping his cola with a quizzical eye on Taehyung, “I don’t think any one of
the boys will refuse to drink with you.”

“Was too scared to blurt out shit I can’t cover up later,” Taehyung shrugged, nonchalant in a way
he didn’t really feel, “with you I can be that. Careless. You won’t mind.”

Bogum was smiling at him yet those eyes spoke of sympathy. Taehyung was coming to know that
look nowadays. Assigned to him too often.

“Shots on me,” Taehyung said, shoving the phone deep in his pocket. This time switching it off.

==&=&==

Drinking in a hotel room was not what Taehyung wanted but one had to settle when they couldn’t
afford the backlash. So Taehyung couldn’t really dance and drink his thoughts away as he had
planned.
Instead, he found himself sharing shots on the balcony of the hotel with Bogum beside him. They
looked over the sea, the darkness falling around them as time ticked by.

“Let’s have sex,” he said, leaning against the glass-door that separated the room from the balcony,
shivering when the cold seeped through his shirt, “right here. You and me.”

Bogum snorted, taking a gulp from his glass, “that would solve your problem?”

“That would take my mind off it,” Taehyung nibbled on his lower lip, sniffing the liquid in his
glass, “make me stop thinking of situations where I am giving my best man speech before
returning home to my cactus while he rides away with…”

Bogum hummed, “can’t say the name or don’t want to?”

“I don’t want to rattle him out,” Taehyung sighed, “even when I want to. Even when I know you
have a hunch. I can’t. He trusted me with his secret.”

Bogum squeezed his thigh, “sleeping with me won’t solve the problem, Tae.”

“Then what will?” Taehyung asked, downing the liquid in one go, grimacing as it burned its way
down his throat, “suggest me something because I feel like I will go crazy otherwise.”

“That you have to find out on your own, Tae,” Bogum leaned against the glass-door too, “people
have different ways of handling shit. I will let you find yours.”

“Having sex with you is not one of them,” Taehyung leaned his head against Bogum’s shoulder,
nodding to himself.

Bogum nosed at his temple, leaving a soft peck on the crown of Taehyung’s messy hair, “I am
afraid not.”

They sat there quietly after that. Filling up glasses and drinking from it. Bogum took a few photos.
Of the moon. The sea glowing under the moonlight. Of their legs, almost tangled together. Lastly
of them. Taehyung looking up at the camera with a sleepy smile on his face, half of his face hidden
against Bogum’s neck.

“Send me those,” Taehyung nudged, “let me change my Kakaotalk display.”

Bogum snorted, “Trying to make him jealous?”

Taehyung paused, looking at the screen and trying to mull over Bogum’s words. He shrugged,
chuckling lightly.

“He really doesn’t care, hyung. I am not…” Jimin.

“He is stupid,” Bogum sighed, “he got to be.”

Taehyung watched how his phone vibrated as he got all the pictures Bogum sent him. He chose a
grainy one. For artistic purpose. Setting it up.

He scrolled a little to see another display picture.

Jimin had his arms around Jungkook as the younger carried him on his back in front of a ferries-
wheel. Both of their grins matching their attire. They looked as merry as the atmosphere. Colourful
in a festive way.
It was a stark contrast with Taehyung’s mellow and grainy one.

“Have you ever felt possessive of a pose?” Taehyung found himself asking, “like… that pose just
belongs to you and that person? Anyone else doing that pose with that person hurts?”

Bogum looked at him with a forlorn expression. The smile offered to him was tender and
understanding. Taehyung closed his eyes when Bogum hugged him, pulling him closer to his chest.

“Let’s go to sleep, Tae,” he whispered against Taehyung’s ear, “I don’t want to see you so
vulnerable anymore.”

Taehyung closed his eyes, sighing.

Neither did he.

.
.

It was around four at night. Bogum was sleeping soundly on his bed. Taehyung found himself back
on the balcony. With his diary clutched closer to his chest.

He opened a blank page, pulling out his pen from the middle of the pages and stared at the page for
a while.

Thoughts came barreling down. Words echoing in his mind. That voice, those touches, those
photos and texts… everything was playing in front of his eyes as he sat there with the diary wide
open. Waiting.

The lines were scribbled before Taehyung put a lot of thoughts in polishing them with metaphors
or similes. He read the words and realized he liked the honesty in them. He didn’t want to change it
for rich words or mindful metaphors.

He murmured the words under his breath, letting out a long breath that was lodged in his chest for
long.

“I just wanna be happier. Am I too greedy?”

Taehyung leaned against the glass or the railing, his breath creating foggy shapes on the glass.
Eyes on the tides he tried to let go of the words he was ashamed to say. His pen glided over the
paper and Taehyung found himself breathing without that pang in his chest to constantly remind
him that something was wrong. He vented out everything he had pent up inside him, reading the
lines and not correcting anything that came out of his mind.

He would do that under broad daylight. Moonlight was meant for honesty.

==&=&==

Coming back to the dorm had always felt like coming home.

Now coming home felt like waking up on a Monday morning, knowing what was expected of him
and yet dreading it nonetheless.

“I am home,” Taehyung muttered to no one. He dragged the luggage behind him, tired from the
flight and the whole trip. His eyes were settling in the darkness of the room when he heard Jin’s
voice.
“Welcome home,” Jin said, walking into the living space, “how was your trip?”

Right.

Jin made this dorm feel like home since the very start. His warmth spreading through everyone
until they all started feeling the bond between each other. Like a family. Hearing Jin’s voice was
already putting Taehyung’s mind at ease.

He smiled at Jin with a tired nod, “great. It was great. Had to come back because of the schedule
though.”

Jin hummed, “the award show tonight. Go, take a shower. I will prepare something for you.”

“No need, hyung,” Taehyung shook his head, “I have already had lunch. I will just take a nap.”

Jin nodded, “okay then. Sleep well. Call me if you need anything.”

Taehyung hummed, looking around the dorm, pulling his luggage behind him, “where are others?”

Jin came to sit on the sofa, turning on the television with a shrug, “Yoongi, Namjoon and Hobi
went to the office, need to check tonight’s schedule. Jimin is at the studio. Jungkook is in his room.
Sleeping. We have to be up almost all night for the show.”

“Wake me up when we have to leave,” Taehyung said, “not before that. I am too tired.”

I don’t want to face him. Not yet.

==&=&==

“Everything is there?” Namjoon asked, looking over at everyone, “I am locking the door. If any
one of you forgot anything, just bear with it. I am not coming back from halfway! Took everything
we need?”

“It’s just an event,” Yoongi rubbed his temple, shoulders slumped, “just fucking lock the door.”

“Last time we had to come back from halfway,” Jin said, “because Hobi forgot his underwear.
How can you forget underwear? Are you wearing one right now?”

“I am,” Hoseok said, indignant, “that was… I was hurrying. Yoongi was shouting at me. I just
shrugged into my pant. Whatever!”

Taehyung stood beside Yoongi, arm looped around his elbow. From the corner of his eyes he
could see Jimin immersed in his phone. Jungkook was right beside Jin, eyes on Taehyung.

Taehyung leaned his head against Yoongi’s shoulder, trying to act normal. By the look of it, Jimin
was not talking to him and Taehyung was resolutely ignoring Jungkook who was trying to come up
to him at any given chance he had.

“Let’s go,” Jimin said, marching away. Jin and Hoseok followed. Namjoon was pressing in
something on his phone, talking to Jungkook and Taehyung pulled Yoongi with him.

“Make sure he doesn’t end up beside me?” he whispered to Yoongi, pouting, “please?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, sighing, “Exactly how long do you think you can avoid him?”

Taehyung shrugged, “as long as I can.”

Yoongi held the door of the van, “just take the seat beside me.”

Taehyung went in, pressing himself against the window. Yoongi sat beside him, pulling out his
headphones. From the corner of his eyes Taehyung could feel eyes on him, making him shift on his
seat.

“Hyung,” Jungkook was staring at Yoongi, hesitating by the door, “can I take that seat?”

“No,” Yoongi said, eyes still closed and head lolling back on the headrest.

Jungkook looked at where Taehyung was. Taehyung kept his eyes fixed on the window, feigning
interest in whatever the view was.

He heard the sigh Jungkook let out before going for the front seat. Namjoon came to sit beside
Yoongi and closed the door.

“Let’s go!” he called over to the driver, “We are already late! Jin, next time you change fast or I
drag you out in your pajama. I don’t care.”

“I don’t care either!” Jin challenged back, “You are the one who said we have thirty more minutes!
Hobi was in the shower for fuck’s sake!”

“I don’t care about him! You take forever to get ready!” Namjoon tried to look back to where Jin
was, “and you still have just a T-shirt on!”

“So what am I supposed to wear?!” Jin was starting to sound frantic.

“Can we drop it?!” Jimin shouted, silencing everyone and making Yoongi’s eyes fly open, “I am
having a headache and it would be worse if you keep shouting! Shut the fuck up!” Jimin waited
with raised brow to see if anyone countered him back. When Namjoon just grumbled and Yoongi
whacked his head upside down to silence, Jimin leaned back on his seat.

“How come he scares me with just that much of height?” Jin murmured to Hoseok.

Jimin just glared, effectively silencing the whole van.

Taehyung let out a breath when Yoongi’s hand covered his over his thigh. He looked at where
Yoongi was resting, eyes still closed.

Warmth filled him, Taehyung changed his position to rest his head against Yoongi’s shoulder.
When he looked at the rearview mirror, Jimin was watching them.

==&=&==

Taehyung sat beside Yoongi when they went through makeup. He found Yoongi when they went
to sit for the award-show. He could sense Jungkook eyeing him. He could feel Jimin’s eyes on him
from time to time.

The silence between them was charged. Others were glancing at the three of them. Unease clear on
their faces. Hoseok and Jin were talking among them, Namjoon was trying to be subtle as he
glanced between the maknaes.

“Excuse me,” Taehyung said, seeing how it was almost time for them to go on stage for the final
act.

“Don’t be late!” Namjoon said, eyes already wide, “we have to be up on the stage. Come back
soon.”

Taehyung nodded. Stepping past everyone for the toilet. The securities nodded, some bowing, as
he went. Taehyung walked fast. He could hear the announcements, the last songs playing over the
speakers around the hall. He trudged through the corridors towards the washroom, knowing the
venue.

The washroom was empty. Taehyung chose a stall to relieve himself before coming back to wash
his hands. He heard the door open, carrying in the loud voices and loudspeaker noises. It closed
slowly, draining the sounds except for the tapping of boots.

Eyes freezing on Jungkook’s, Taehyung stilled. The water was rushing, almost numbing his hands.
He couldn’t move. Jungkook’s eyes were on him when he walked up beside him.

“You are avoiding me,” Jungkook said, reaching out to clutch at Taehyung’s elbow to turn him.

Taehyung found himself pressed against the basin-counter and Jungkook. He tried to put on a
smile, wincing when it didn’t form naturally.

“I am not,” he said, looking past Jungkook at the closed door, “Gukkie,” the name came out as a
whisper, pain shooting through his chest at the familiarity and longing, “why would I?”

“I don’t know,” Jungkook said, “I want to know why too.”

His eyes were searching Taehyung’s face. Taehyung tried to look relaxed. He didn’t want to do this
in a public washroom. He didn’t want to face Jungkook and think about all those messages, words,
that message. He didn’t want to lose his composure before he was able to build himself a façade.
Jungkook was standing right there, pressed against him, and Taehyung felt breathless. He wanted
to push Jungkook away, shout at him to leave him alone.

“Did I do something wrong?” Jungkook sounded pained, lost. Taehyung glanced at him to see that
face he knew since their trainee-days. That lost puppy look back on his face. It was the same
expression that had pulled Taehyung towards him for the first time. Now was nothing different.

He reached out instinctively, fingertips touching Jungkook’s cheek, mapping out that scar he knew
by heart now.

Jungkook leaned in his touch, eyes closing briefly as if he was soaking up Taehyung’s warmth.

Taehyung wanted to cup that face in his palm, pull Jungkook closer to capture those plump lips
with his.

Taehyung flinched, reeling. He put his hands on Jungkook’s chest, pushing him back with a soft
nudge.

“Jungkook,” he matched the younger’s eyes, “we need to be out there. It’s not the time.”

“So you are avoiding me,” Jungkook said, jaw hardening, “I should be the angry one. You ditched
us for Bogum. I am angry about it. We need to talk about that and you didn’t pick up our calls,
messages. I sent you so many messages. I bought you some gifts. I…”

“Not now,” Taehyung gritted out, “we will talk, later.”

He tried to move away but Jungkook grasped his wrist, tugging him back. Taehyung sucked in a
breath, chest contorting as he collided with Jungkook.
“Tonight,” Jungkook’s breath ghosted on his face, “in your room.”

Taehyung freed his wrist with a twist and nodded, “Fine.”

He left the washroom, running almost. His chest heaved when he finally reached the group.
Everyone eyed him when he sat down. Except for Yoongi. His arm reached out around Taehyung,
those eyes still focused on the stage. Taehyung pressed his lips together when everyone kept
glancing at him, worried eyes exchanging looks. He hated how their stares lingered when
Jungkook came back just a few seconds later. Taehyung squirmed, feeling unease fill him when Jin
started leaning over to tell him something.

A sigh left his mouth when Yoongi sat up straight, hiding him from their views and stopping Jin
midway. The smile on Taehyung’s lips formed for Yoongi who was now patting his shoulder.

==&=&==

He was exhausted when he finally wrapped himself with the duvet. The pillows were soft, dipping
under his weight, sucking him in. He felt cosy, warm. Yet Taehyung couldn’t sleep. His eyes
lingered on his door, firmly closed, leaving the room silent.

Taehyung could not forget Jungkook’s words and he knew Jungkook would walk in any moment.
He tried to calm his breathing. He tried to think of excuses to make when Jungkook asked him
questions he didn’t want to answer honestly.

He had to think of apologies that were due for Jimin. Jimin, who had ignored him throughout the
event and left for his room right after they came back. Taehyung had to talk to him. Taehyung
promised himself to talk to him in the morning. With a fresh mind.

The door opened with a creaking sound. Taehyung’s eyes flickered, hands twitching over their
grips on his duvet. He curled his toes, curling inwards while watching Jungkook close the door
behind himself.

It was a familiar image. Jungkook sneaking into his room was nothing new. They sneaked into
each other’s rooms almost every night for the past so many years. Yet today it was different.
Today Jungkook hesitated by the door, watching him.

Taehyung sat up, resting his back against the headrest, pulling the duvet up to cover himself. He
was wearing his old T-shirt and a boxer. Jungkook had his joggers on. A grey T-shirt stretched on
his torso. Taehyung fumbled for words. Jungkook said nothing. The silence stretched between
them until one snapped.

Jungkook.

He walked closer, hesitating by the foot of the bed. Reluctance clear in his stance while he stood
there.

Taehyung had no lights on. He couldn’t sleep until it was completely dark. The only light was
coming from the balcony, where the floor was reflecting the moonlight, hitting it right on
Taehyung’s ceiling. The glow was enough to make out shapes and movements. Enough to see how
Jungkook was watching him.

The side of Jungkook’s face was illuminated with the moonlight. The other side had the darkness
shaping him. Taehyung could figure out that tense set of jaw. He could feel the frustration in
Jungkook’s body through the tensed set of his shoulders.
The frustration was of not knowing how to approach Taehyung.

Which was a new experience. Jungkook was as lost as Taehyung felt. The realization was
comforting. Even when uncomfortable, lost, they were on the same page.

“Come here,” Taehyung gave up, reaching out with one hand, “sit.”

Jungkook grasped for his hand. The touch firm, desperate in a way that made Taehyung breathless.
It seemed like Jungkook was making sure Taehyung didn’t pull away. It felt like Jungkook was
craving his presence just as much.

“I kissed him.”

Taehyung pulled back, burnt. The words shoving at the forefront of his mind. He wanted to rub his
palms together, wipe off Jungkook’s touch. It was sizzling still. Instead, he watched Jungkook pull
the duvet away, coming to sit right in front of him.

Taehyung tried to match those eyes when Jungkook said nothing. He couldn’t. The awkwardness
was gnawing at them. Both of them not understanding how to gain that familiarity they had
between them. The familiarity they had taken for granted.

Until now.

“Bogum…”

“I don’t want to talk about him,” Taehyung cut in, shaking his head, “he is not the point between
us.”

Jungkook looked shocked, hand reaching out before he could stop himself, “did he hurt you?”

The question was genuine. He sounded pained, reluctant and angered at the same time.

Taehyung shook his head, “he would never.”

Jungkook’s arm flexed when he pulled back, fist tight on his lap. He nodded. Once.

“I am sorry for not replying to your texts,” Taehyung said, shrugging, “I was just… busy.”

Jungkook didn’t look up at him. He just nodded again.

Taehyung didn’t know what else to say. That was a first too. The awkward silence between the two
of them. They had shared silence before. Filled with nothing, doing their respectful chores and
being with each other without a word shared. But it was never this tensed. Taehyung never felt the
urge to flee or fill the silence with gibberish like this before.

“We kissed,” Jungkook tore through the silence, words swift as a whip, hitting Taehyung hard
enough to make him flinch.

Hearing it from Jungkook, Taehyung found out, hurt the most. More than those words in a text
format could ever. It was like a confirmation, sealing the deal with finality. He had deleted that
text. He couldn’t erase this moment. Taehyung had no idea what Jungkook was expecting him to
say. Silence stretched from Taehyung’s side.

“We were drunk,” Jungkook said, “I mean… of course we were. I don’t remember how or what but
I… all I remember was the kiss. We kissed.”
Taehyung wanted to be drunk at this point. Was it going to be rude if he leapt out of his bed and
went to their secret cabinet? Pulled out a bottle of whiskey? Or Rum? Soju maybe…

“It was awkward, Tae,” Jungkook dropped his face in his palms then, “I was so awkward! I don’t
remember who started it. Probably me. But I have never…” he looked up at Taehyung desperately,
shaking his head, “with a man before. It kind of threw me off.”

Taehyung frowned, bottom lip bitten between his teeth. He watched Jungkook and raised his brows
in confusion.

“You have never… kissed?” he asked, voice gravelly from misuse.

Jungkook huffed, indignant and quiet, “not a man. No. It felt surreal. First times are normally.
Right? I just…”

Taehyung tried to wrap his mind around the thought that Jungkook had never kissed a man before.
Jimin was his first kiss. That way.

Taehyung wanted to laugh at the sizzling feeling in his guts. Jimin was going to be a lot of firsts
for Jungkook in the future. It was time Taehyung accepted it.

“He passed out on me,” Jungkook continued, “thank God! I didn’t want him to see how awkward I
was. I want him to see me as a perfect partner, you know? Someone he can be interested in.
Someone like macho and strong and sexy. Not that young Kookie he talks about so much. I always
want to portray the best side of me for him. And that was not my best side.”

Taehyung breathed out a disbelieving snort then, “So I am the only one who gets to see these odd
and imperfect sides of you?”

Jungkook’s shoulders slumped when a relieved smile found its way on his lips. He nodded,
reaching out to take Taehyung’s hands in his.

“With you…” his eyes were unbearably fond, Taehyung wanted to look away, “I don’t have to be
perfect. I can be Gukkie. It’s different with you, Tae. I am not obliged to be anything with you. Just
me.”

Taehyung didn’t know what to feel but he knew those goosebumps were unwelcomed. He stomped
on those flapping creatures in his stomach and shrugged.

“Jimin would never judge you like that either, Gukkie,” he murmured, thumb moving over
Jungkook’s knuckles soothingly, “you know that. Right?”

“I just… want to be perfect for him,” Jungkook said, looking lost all over again, “he didn’t talk
about that kiss afterwards. Thank God! I think he forgot. It’s better this way. I want to initiate the
kiss next time when we are sober. I want him to see me as someone who can be his partner. The
next time I kiss him… I… I don’t want to be so awkward. Do I make sense?”

“You are not a virgin, are you?” Taehyung asked, sceptical, “I don’t want to pry but I don’t think
you are.”

“I have never done anything with a man, Tae,” Jungkook said, looking at Taehyung as if Taehyung
was missing the point, “it’s new. It’s awkward. It’s like…”
“Accepting a vulnerable side of you,” Taehyung nodded, “acknowledging that side of you
everyone told you to suppress or no one really taught you how to explore.”
For a second Jungkook just stared. Then a small smile crossed his lips. His eyes were full of
wonder and awe. Taehyung loved being the reason for that look. His insides churned when he was
the center of that awed attention.

Now he squirmed under it.

“How do you always know what I am feeling?” Jungkook asked, smiling gently when Taehyung
looked back at him, “it’s like you understand me even when I don’t understand myself.”

Taehyung shrugged, “I have gone through that phase too, Jungkook. I am not new to that feeling.”

Jungkook tilted his head, looking at him with confusion written on his face. Taehyung rolled his
eyes.

“There was a first time for me too, you know?” Taehyung swatted at him, “it was terrifying.”

“How was it?” Jungkook asked, playing with the hem of his shirt, “your first time?”

“Awkward,” Taehyung acknowledged, “I didn’t really know that guy. I was just ready to cross the
line. Know what there was to know. The kiss was okay but the sex was…” he looked at Jungkook
with a huff, “painful?”

Jungkook straightened upright, “what? Was he forcing you?!”

Taehyung laughed, shaking his head, “we were both new to it. Summer camp. You know how it is.
Doing it for the first time. The anticipation. The small space in the tent. Making sure no one heard.
Finding out supplies. Hurrying through it. I wasn’t prepped enough.”

Jungkook furrowed his brows, biting on his lips, “how was it afterwards?”

“Awkward as fuck,” Taehyung grimaced, “ignored each other for the rest of the trip. It was very
awkward.”

“See,” Jungkook said, “you could ignore your partner, knowing you probably won’t see him ever
again. I can’t change mine. I just… want to know my shit before I go anywhere near Jimin.”

Taehyung let out a deep breath, “so sleep around then. Gain experience.”

Jungkook pouted, “you know how scandalous it is if we are seen with female idols or friends. Do
you think it will be safe to sleep with guys? What if someone gets a whiff? What if someone leaks
something? We can’t afford that kind of blow, right? Otherwise I would have done it. Sleep with
strangers, I mean.”

Taehyung didn’t want Jungkook to sleep with others. That was the problem. The image of
Jungkook anywhere near unknown people, touching, kissing, it bothered him. Someone else seeing
Jungkook in his vulnerable state, probably not as careful as he would be, probably not as loving as
Taehyung himself…
“Then sleep with me,” Taehyung laughed, eyes crinkling.

He stilled when Jungkook’s eyes flew to his. Taehyung felt the words wash over him. The
realization of what he had offered weighing down on him. Taehyung watched Jungkook sit up
properly, his eyes on Taehyung, fixed, unmoving.

“What?” Jungkook asked, voice tentative, eyes searching Taehyung’s face.

Taehyung stayed quiet. His hands grasped together. What was he doing?

The words surprised him but what surprised him more was how he meant them. He wanted to be
Jungkook’s first. All those firsts. He wanted to be the person Jungkook talked about to his future
partners. He wanted Jungkook to remember him every time he tried to recall his first times. Like
Taehyung did. Remember his summer-camp fling. But he wanted to be there, selfishly there, in
Jungkook’s memory. He wanted those wondering eyes to come to understanding through him. He
remembered the first time he had held Jungkook’s hand, guiding him through his awkward phrase,
bringing him out of his shell.

He wanted to hold Jungkook’s hand this time too. Taehyung wanted to bring Jungkook out of this
confusion too.

His mind was screaming at him that it wasn’t a good idea. His brain was registering what a disaster
it was but Taehyung wanted to be selfish, blind to reality. Even if for a few days. Weeks. He
wanted to have Jungkook for himself. At least for a few times before he let go, watch Jungkook
excel in this too. Intimacy.

Taehyung had taught him intimacy platonically.

He wanted to teach him intimacy sexually too.

“Sex,” Taehyung whispered, breath clogged in his throat, “I can be there as you fumble your way
through the firsts.”

“You would do that?” Jungkook asked, astonished, “why?”

Taehyung gave him a gentle smile, eyes taking in the guy he loved so much, “so that I am the only
one who gets to see the imperfections in you. Ever. Let the world have the perfect golden Maknae
Jeon Jungkook. Give me my imperfect Gukkie.”

There was a shine in Jungkook’s eyes. His lips moving around wordless shapes.

“Plus I am sure you will learn quickly,” Taehyung said, “you always do. Then you can go off, I
guess. It’ll just be sex. No strings attached.”

“No strings attached,” Jungkook tested those words on his lips, sounding perplexed, “with you…
Tae… that’s… friends with benefits?”

Taehyung was feeling his face heating up. Nerves pulling at his guts. He fumbled with his fingers
on his lap. Eyes casting down, he pinched his fingers together.

“It’s alright if you don’t want…”

“Okay,” Jungkook cut in, breath leaving him in a puff when Taehyung’s head snapped up, “okay.
Let’s… let’s do that.”

Taehyung hadn’t expected for Jungkook to accept his offer. He hadn’t expected his offer to be
taken seriously. It was just him blurting out the first thing that came to his mind. He didn’t know
what he would do if Jungkook agreed. His eyes rounded, hands fisting tightly together.

“Wh-what?” he asked, “Are you sure?”

Jungkook nodded, “I am. It’s just sex.”

It wasn’t.

Not on Taehyung’s part.

He knew he was not in it with just physical attraction. He had feelings, real feelings, for Jungkook.
The recipe was of disaster. It never worked out.

He looked over at the door, wishing for someone to barge in. Save him.

Yet…

“We can’t do it right now,” he said, breath catching in his throat when he realized they were
talking about having sex. With each other. Him and Jungkook.

“No,” Jungkook shook his head, eyes still as wide, “I just…”

Taehyung raised his brows in question.

“When I kissed Jimin,” Jungkook looked away, his voice soft, “it was… it was messy. I didn’t…”
he looked back at Taehyung, helplessly tugging at his sleeve, “I…”

“Kiss me,” Taehyung reached out, grasping at Jungkook’s hand, “we can kiss.”

Jungkook looked shocked. His eyes wandering over Taehyung’s face.

The selfish part was awakening in him again. Taehyung tried to look nonchalant. His brows
furrowing when Jungkook reached out with open palm. He looked at it and then back at Jungkook.
Confusedly he placed his palm in Jungkook’s open one.

A gasp tore through his lips when Jungkook gave a tug, effectively pulling Taehyung closer until
he was almost sitting on Jungkook’s lap.

“What are you doing?” Taehyung asked, breathlessly looking at the younger. Jungkook was
looking back. His hands coming to rest on Taehyung’s hips.

“Kiss,” he whispered against Taehyung’s lips, “you said we could kiss.”

Taehyung glanced at Jungkook’s lips and back up at his eyes, “eager. Are we?”

The tingles broke through him when Jungkook’s eyes zeroed in on his lips, “yes.”

Taehyung exhaled, arms looping around Jungkook’s neck. The soft stubble on Jungkook’s chin
was pricking his palm when Taehyung cupped his face, pulling it upwards.

Their breaths mixed, warmth spreading through Taehyung’s limbs, leaving behind goosebumps.
Jungkook’s arms tightened around him, pulling him more on Jungkook’s lap. Taehyung let his legs
part, cupping the sides of the younger, pressing against his hips.

“Are you sure?” Jungkook asked.

Taehyung wasn’t.

He grasped Jungkook’s nape, leaning forward. Jungkook tipped his head back, tilting his head
sideways a little. Taehyung pressed closer until their lips touched. Jungkook’s lips were soft, moist
from the balm he used. Taehyung pecked his lips once, testing how Jungkook reacted to it.
Jungkook’s lips puckered, eyes following Taehyung’s lips when he pulled back.

“How was it?” Taehyung murmured, trying to read Jungkook’s expression.

“It was just a peck, Tae,” Jungkook’s voice was just as hushed, “that’s not a kiss.”

Taehyung chuckled, “I know! I am just asking. How…”

His eyes widened when Jungkook cupped his jaw and pulled him down. Their lips met for the
second time. This time it was Jungkook who led the kiss. His lips parting to suck on Taehyung’s
lower lip.

Heat curled in Taehyung’s belly. His palms messaging Jungkook’s nape, touching, feeling the
roughness of Jungkook’s cheeks. Jungkook, as Taehyung was finding out, was a biter. He bit
Taehyung’s lower lip, tugging it in his mouth to suck onto it. A moan tore through Taehyung’s lips.
He pressed forward, nudging Jungkook’s lips back with his own. Kissing him with urgency,
Taehyung whined when he felt Jungkook’s hands under his T-shirt.

Lungs burning for air, they parted their lips, mouthing at each other. Jungkook let out a growl,
tugging at Taehyung as if he wanted Taehyung closer, closer than he already was.

Taehyung opened his mouth under Jungkook’s persistence, his mouth welcoming Jungkook’s
tongue. Taehyung hummed in the kiss, feeling the tightening of Jungkook’s arms.

Soft groans and mewls filled the air. Jungkook’s hands were everywhere. On his back, on his hips,
pulling him closer, tugging at his T-shirt.

Taehyung pulled back after a while, panting for breath. He closed his eyes, leaning his forehead
against Jungkook’s. Jungkook’s mouth smelt of mint. His toothpaste. He hoped he didn’t smell bad
to the younger. He had a Choco bar after brushing his teeth.

When he opened his eyes, Jungkook was staring at him. Taehyung gave him a quivering smile. His
insides churning.

“How was it?” he asked, wincing at his own voice. It sounded so frail in his own ears.

Jungkook was silent. His eyes on Taehyung’s lips and then back at his eyes. His arms were still
looped around Taehyung’s waist.

“Again?” Jungkook asked, leaning in.

Taehyung leaned in with a smile. Kissing Jungkook once again. He hummed when Jungkook
probed at his lips, trying to part them.

“You are a filthy kisser,” he observed, hands cupping Jungkook’s face, “I see.”

Jungkook huffed, “shut up.”

Taehyung kissed him again, silencing them both. Giggling when Jungkook cursed.

“You taste good,” Jungkook murmured, hands rubbing at Taehyung’s sides, “sweet.”

Taehyung’s breath left his lungs when Jungkook moved, suddenly tumbling Taehyung down on
the mattress and hovering over him.

“Jungkook!” Taehyung gasped out, chiding, feeling the soft mattress under him, “stop
manhandling me!”

Jungkook gave him a wicked smile, “sorry?”

Taehyung placed his hands on Jungkook’s chest, raising his brows, “are you really?”

A laugh tore through him when Jungkook shook his head. The sound was muffled when Jungkook
kissed him, grinning against his lips.

“How,” Jungkook spoke between kisses, “am I not,” forearms supporting his weight over
Taehyung to not crush him, “awkward kissing you?”

Every word was muttered against Taehyung’s lips, in between kisses. Taehyung felt the tug in his
chest, coming back. He knew what he was doing would never end well. He could almost feel the
intensity of the heartbreak he would go through when Jungkook ended this. But he found himself
craving those kisses. Maybe it was okay to indulge himself a little. As long as Jungkook needed it,
Taehyung was going to be there.

He was ready to be a place-holder. Before Jungkook moved onto someone else. Someone he
actually wanted a future with. He could wallow in his self-pity when he didn’t have Jungkook in
his arms. Like this.

Jungkook’s smile stilled on his lips. His hand coming up to trace at Taehyung’s eyes. Confused at
Jungkook’s alarmed expression Taehyung looked sideways at where Jungkook was looking at his
own fingertips.

Wet.

“Are you crying?” Jungkook sounded unsure, frightened nonetheless, “am I hurting you?”

“Yes,” Taehyung whispered, giggling when Jungkook’s eyes widened, “you are pressing down on
me too much. I can’t breathe. Come here.”

Jungkook dropped beside him, pulling Taehyung in his arms.

“Can I sleep here?” Jungkook asked, tentatively tracing patterns on Taehyung’s arm.

Taehyung snuggled closer. Jungkook smelt earthy, soothing. Something about the scent calming
Taehyung’s disturbed mind. His eyes were pulling with sleep. For the first time since Jungkook’s
confession, Taehyung was this sleepy.

“Good night, Gukkie,” he buried his face against Jungkook’s neck, inhaling deeply before resting
himself.

Jungkook let out a sigh, chest heaving with the weight, “I missed you, Tae.”

Taehyung hummed.

A smile graced his lips when Jungkook pulled his face up. The soft kiss on his forehead was the
last thing he felt.

If it was just a few days or weeks then Taehyung was going to take as much of Jungkook as he
could. He would be selfish for a few weeks.

If his heart was going to break anyway, he wanted to have Jungkook for himself first.
 ==&=&==

Yoongi wanted to get back to the studio. The song wasn’t done and no matter where he was, all he
could think about was the lyrics that kept coming to him in flashes. He knew if he didn’t write
them down soon, they would be forgotten.

Yet the exhaustion was pulling him towards the bed. The whole day was tensed. For all of them.
Yoongi was tired from handling Taehyung and shushing the other members throughout the day. He
hoped everything went back to normal so he could stop thinking about these problems and focus on
just his writing.

Going under the duvet, Yoongi stared up at the ceiling. He was tired to his bones and yet he
couldn’t fall asleep. His ceiling had glow-stars stuck on it, the soft blue lights illuminating the
whole room. Yoongi had customized his room himself. It explained the greyish colour of his room
and that chandelier which probably didn’t go with the setting of his room. Yet he wanted it there, a
little odd, a little quirky.

His thoughts trailed back to his studio. He had left his diary there. Locked. That was the safest
place for the lyrics or words to stay. Where no one else could take a hold of them.

But now Yoongi missed it. He wanted to write something. Anything to put him to sleep. Maybe he
should drink a little. Thoughts were swirling in his head, tiring him enough to irritate him but not
enough to put him to sleep.

He twisted and turned on his bed, reaching out for the bedside drawer. The cigarettes were there.
He pulled one out. The lighter right beside it.

Sitting on the windowsill, he burnt the tip of the stick, sucking. The hit was instant. The taste
filling his mouth. He leaned his head against the hardwood, watching the guards on patrolling duty
walking around their boundaries.

The soft click of the doorknob made him conscious of someone entering his room. The padded
footsteps were familiar. They were mapped, wary. Always thoughtful of others and their
disturbance. Yoongi smiled faintly.

“You are smoking.”

Yoongi wanted to snort. The observation making him twitch on his spot. He didn’t look at the
intruder until the cigarette was snatched away from his lips. He followed the glow of it, eyes
skimming upwards.

Jimin had a frown plastered on his face. Yoongi slumped against the windowsill, watching Jimin
silently.

“You are smoking again,” Jimin sounded tired, sad, “hyung.”

Yoongi didn’t protest when the cigarette was stubbed in the ashtray and shoved out of his reach.
Jimin tugged at the sleeve of his shirt. Eyes on Yoongi.

“Is there something bothering you?” the younger sounded pulpy, “you can talk to me.”

Yoongi shook his head, “why are you here, Jimin?”

Jimin frowned, “Jiminie.”

“Huh?”

“You call me Jiminie,” Jimin said, pulling at Yoongi’s wrist now, “don’t change that. I am done
with changes. Now come on, I want to sleep.”

“With me?” Yoongi asked, following Jimin to the bed nonetheless. He watched Jimin familiarize
himself on the left side of the bed, his favourite spot, patting the space beside him.

Yoongi went in, trying to ignore how the tank-top Jimin wore gave a perfect view of his bare arms
and as Jimin squirmed, his waist.

Yoongi’s hands would fit perfectly around them.

He laid facing the ceiling again, this time Jimin on his chest almost.

“I wanted to talk to Taehyung,” Jimin murmured against Yoongi’s neck, drawing patterns on his
chest, “but he is asleep. Jungkook and he solved their problems it seems. They are sleeping
together.”

Yoongi frowned, alarmed, “sleeping together as in?”

Jimin looked up at him, confused, “on the same bed. In Taehyung’s room.”

“Oh!” Yoongi sighed, dropping his tensed shoulders, “I thought…”

Jimin went back drawing patterns on his chest. Yoongi stayed quiet, knowing there was something
in Jimin’s mind that he wanted to share with him but didn’t know how to. Yoongi had always been
patient with Jimin, giving him time to come to him or talk to him when he felt like. He had learnt
not to rush the younger. Never startle him out of his shell. Jimin didn’t like being shoved out of his
thoughts. He liked to reach out himself. Yoongi was just there, always, to grab his hand for support
when Jimin needed it.

“You know Sungho, hyung?” Jimin asked, hands spreading over Yoongi’s chest to grasp at the
material of his shirt.

Yoongi hummed, “of course. He is our head choreographer.”

“Right,” Jimin’s fingers resumed the drawing, “I am in love with him.”

Yoongi tried to recall if he had fallen asleep and this was another nightmare. His arm around Jimin
tightened for a moment, jaw locking, before he forced his muscles to relax. His heart pummeled in
his chest, shoving against his ribcage painfully. The tingling sensation of needles piercing through
his skin was painful, gruesome even. Yoongi wanted to think of this as a nightmare but the stinging
in his eyes and the way he blinked told him he was not asleep. This was reality.

“I have been for a few months,” Jimin continued, unaware of the storm he had caused in Yoongi, “I
had tried to tell him. But he doesn’t take me seriously. We hooked up time to time but nothing is
serious.”

Yoongi wanted to roll away or curl into himself. He gripped the duvet closer to himself. The chill
was spreading through him with force. The image of Jimin, hooking up with anyone, intimate, raw,
vulnerable in someone’s arms, made him cringe.

“But he never really noticed me that way,” Jimin sounded forlorn, “I keep making a fool of myself
in front of him. I want him to notice me. I know he likes me but I think he doesn’t want to cross the
line. I am still an idol and he is a choreographer but…” a sigh escaped him, “I took the Japan trip to
get away from him. I needed a few days off. I needed to stop thinking about him but I ended up
thinking just about him throughout the trip. It didn’t help that when I came back he was there. In
the rehearsal hall, chatting up a girl. I don’t know what to do, hyung. It’s painful to watch…”

Yoongi crumbled when Jimin started sniffing, curling around him as if Yoongi as going to protect
him.

How could Yoongi protect him when he was breaking down himself?

“Have you ever been in love, hyung?” Jimin asked, teary eyes on him, “Have you ever been in love
with someone who didn’t love you back?”

Yoongi laughed, actually bubble of laughter tearing through him. The sound echoed in the room,
bouncing around before hitting Yoongi. The hit left his breathless. He wiped at his eyes, wiping
away the reminiscence of tears before he looked down at Jimin.

“I have,” he said, “I understand, Jiminie. I do.”

Jimin watched him quizzically, expression unreadable, “you never told us.”

Yoongi shrugged, smiling, “I handled it well myself.”

“Did you get them at the end?” Jimin asked, curious and tender. Worried.

“No,” Yoongi shook his head, finally accepting what he was reluctant to acknowledge, “I didn’t.”

Jimin clutched onto him, eyes shining brightly in the dimming lights. Sad for him.

Yoongi didn’t know if he should laugh or cry. He patted Jimin’s back instead.

“I don’t want to lose him, hyung,” Jimin mumbled against him, “I want him to see me. I want him
to notice me. I don’t want to lose him. I am not strong. Not as strong as you. I am kind of selfish. I
just… I have never loved anyone. Until him. I love him so much.”

Yoongi didn’t know what to say to sooth the younger. He wanted to go to that Sungho and shout at
him. Tell him what he was losing. Jimin loved him. He was the luckiest guy in the world. He had
something Yoongi prayed for.

“He… he keeps giving me mixed signals,” Jimin said, “he is jealous when I am around someone.
He sulks when I flirt with others. He is possessive of me but… he never wants to be in a
relationship. I don’t know what to do. I mean…”

Yoongi hummed, making sure Jimin knew he was listening.

“I kind of have a plan,” Jimin sounded lost in his thoughts, “but I am not sure how to go about it.”

“What plan?” Yoongi asked, taking a glance of Jimin who was looking at his hand, where it rested
on Yoongi’s chest.

“I want to make him jealous,” Jimin said, “make him realize what he could have but was missing
out on.”

Confusion wrapped around Yoongi, subduing the pain in his chest, “and how are you going to do
that?”
“By dating someone else,” Jimin said, looking up at him.

“What?” Yoongi was really confused now. He tried to understand what Jimin was saying but
nothing really rang a bell. He frowned down at the guy in his arm, thinking, “How you dating
someone else is going to help? You said you loved him!”

“If I ask someone to pretend that they are dating me and we show the relationship off in front of
him, he will be jealous,” Jimin spoke softly as if testing out each syllable, “you know? Like fake
dating.”

Yoongi raised his brow, “who would agree to do that with you?”

Jimin was silent, eyes fixed on Yoongi’s face. Yoongi raised his brows, waiting for an answer.
When no answer was given, the dread filled him.

“What?” he asked, defensive, trying to pull away, “what are you saying, Jimin?”

Jimin clutched at him, stopping him from rolling away, “help me, hyung. Please.”

Yoongi jumped, snatching his hand away and sitting up on the bed, “are you fucking kidding me,
Jimin?! I can’t do that. Fake dating? You? That’s so random and ridiculous! What on earth!?”

Jimin sat up too, distressed, “hyung, I only told you. I can’t ask others. I thought about it a lot but
no one matches this as much as you do. I can’t ask Taehyung. He is like my brother. Others are not
a good option either. You are perfect.”

“How am I perfect?!” Yoongi threw his hands upwards, confused and frustrated, “ask Hobi. Or
Namjoon. Jin hyung. Jungkook. Anyone. Your friends outside of the group.”

“Hear me out, hyung,” Jimin reached for his wrist, pulling him down beside Jimin, “with you, the
job is already fifty percent done.”

“Huh?” Yoongi faltered, eyes searching Jimin’s face.

Jimin nodded, lips pursing with a glint in his eyes Yoongi didn't like, “he is already jealous of you.
He thinks I have a crush or something on you. You know? We have already fought about it.
Imagine if he sees us dating, he will be seething. I promise you, hyung, you don’t have to do this
for long. Just a few weeks and he will give in. I know.”

Yoongi looked around, trying to find if there was a camera recording them. Was this another
prank? A Run BTS episode? Or the boys were outside of his door, waiting for Yoongi’s answer
before they barged in, laughing at him? This had to be a joke.

He looked back at Jimin who was watching him with reluctant eyes. Nothing about him seemed
like he was faking the distress. He tried to wrap his mind around Jimin’s proposal. What was Jimin
saying? How was this going to work? It would break him even more.

“Help your Jiminie out, hyung,” Jimin whispered, on the verge of crying, “I don’t know whom to
ask. I don’t want to tell my other friends. They will laugh at me. What if someone uses it against
me? What if things go wrong? I really love him.”

Yoongi’s bubble of shock broke when tears rolled out of Jimin’s eyes. He looked at the boy with
his own heart shattering in his chest. He knew how heartbreak felt like and seeing Jimin go
through that was the last thing Yoongi wanted.
 “I came to you knowing you would help,” Jimin sniffled, “you always do, hyung. Please. Last
time. Help me out.”

Yoongi pulled Jimin in his arms, shushing him, “calm down, Jiminie. I just… how do you know
this will work? What if he gives up on you seeing me in the picture? Don’t you think if he has
feelings for you, he would want you to be happy? Be it with him or someone else?”

Jimin shook his head, “no one loves that selflessly, hyung.”

Yoongi smiled, looking down at him, “and you know that?”

Jimin nodded, looking at Yoongi through his lashes, “I am fighting for my love. Everyone does.
He would too. We just need to show ourselves off to him. I know him. He will be jealous. Trust
me.”

“I trust you,” Yoongi said, exhaling, “okay.”

“Okay?!” Jimin asked, astonishment clear in his eyes, “are you sure, hyung?”

Yoongi nodded, “anything for you.”

The smile Jimin gave him was blinding. Yoongi laughed when Jimin hugged him closer, hands
wrapped tightly around him.

“We will tell the boys about this?” Yoongi asked.

“Not now,” Jimin said, “we will start this plan in two weeks. I mean, we will have to practice a
few things, you know? Sungho is going on a tour with TXT. For a few weeks. Just the Asian leg of
it. A few days before he comes back, we will announce we are dating to everyone and let him
come back to the news. Yeah?”

“I hope you know what you are doing, Park Jimin,” Yoongi shook his head, “I am lost as fuck.”

Jimin giggled, “I will guide you, hyung. No worries. You look so pale. Stop worrying. We will be
the best fake couple South Korea has ever seen.”

In the chaos of him laughing and Jimin thanking him, he ignored another piece of his heart falling
away.

==&=&==

Chapter End Notes

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 { My color hidden with a smile, blue and grey }
Chapter Notes

This chapter is 11k+ words. 5K is explicit.

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See the end of the chapter for more notes

Sunrises were meant to be slept through according to Taehyung. The time so early and quiet, it
made him scowl when someone woke him up just to see the sunrise. There was nothing really
euphoric or life-changing about such a mundane thing.

Yet he found himself shivering in the cold, yawning and rubbing at his eyes to keep himself awake
while waiting for the sun to rise.

“Why do we have to do this?” Taehyung asked, wrapping the blanket tightly around himself with a
pout, “like seriously, I don’t see the point.”

“The sunrise is beautiful here in Dubai, Tae,” Jungkook sounded excited, almost giddy, “watch the
sun come out over the desert. It’s gorgeous.”

Taehyung pressed his lips together, eyeing the desert. They were standing by the car Jungkook had
booked just to drive out here in the middle of the desert.

“It’s so cold,” Taehyung whined, “we have a photoshoot today! I will look so tired. Because of
you!”

His heart skipped a beat when Jungkook came to hug him from behind, nosing the side of his neck,
“Tae,” Jungkook’s voice was hushed, “come on. Don’t whine. This is supposed to be ethereal.”

Taehyung sealed his lips, leaning against Jungkook’s chest while they waited.

It had been two weeks since their talk in his room. They hadn’t done anything more than making
out, Jungkook saying he needed time to get accustomed to everything.

Taehyung had nothing to press him about.

Everything had taken a sudden turn when the company had informed them about the summer
package shoot in Dubai. They had to shoot it in winter so that it was ready to be released around
the starting of summer. It was short notice and they had to fly out here.

They would stay here for three days. Packed with shooting and work. The company had promised
them one day extra. Just to relax and enjoy the merriments of desert and Dubai on its own. It was
going to be the last day of their stay.

Taehyung had planned to sleep through his first day of arrival as the shooting was starting the next
day, but he was dragged out of his room by Jungkook. With a promise of fun.

“I can’t believe Jin hyung let you in our room,” Taehyung grumbled, teeth clattering, “you could
have dragged Yoongi hyung with you.”

“As if,” Jungkook sighed, “he warned me not to make a noise when I wake up early. Otherwise, it
was promised that he would cut off my balls.”

Taehyung snorted, humming, “so where is the sun? Let’s see that egg yolk shit.”

Jungkook’s laugh was rhythmic in his ears. Taehyung skimmed the horizon with his eyes. The
darkness was slowly fading, giving space for off-white hue to spread across the deep blue of the
night sky.

Taehyung turned back to see the moon at the farthest corner of the sky, still bright and still so very
much present.

“You can see the moon and the sun,” Jungkook murmured against his ears, arms still wrapped
around him, “that’s the beauty of the sunrise on a desert.”

Taehyung stayed quiet, leaning his head against Jungkook while he saw the first beams of the sun
tearing through the darkness.

They were standing on a high dune, their car waiting a few feet away from them. The guides were
far away, on another dune, giving them the privacy they needed. They had a different car,
Jungkook had driven theirs behind the guides’ one. Taehyung could see them loitering around,
some of them smoking to keep themselves warm. His eyes moved away from them when the light
hit his face.

He looked over to the horizon, seeing how the sand and dunes were turning black as the only
source of light came through a small dot over the horizon. Taehyung sucked in a breath. The calm
and quiet around him intensifying while he watched how the deep orange dot turned a ball of fire
as it rose, in a blink surfacing from the sands. The desert was illuminated with the glow, looking
like the dust of gold. Pure gold.

Taehyung looked back to see the moon still, now dimmed under the sunrays. It was a vivid
contrast. The deep blue clashing with the bright orange. The light spread across the sky, as if
someone was pulling off a blanket itched with starts and leaving behind the empty, clear sky
smeared with the colour orange and yellow.

Taehyung found himself smiling, noticing Jungkook click pictures after pictures. His arms were
still around Taehyung and his chin resting on Taehyung’s shoulder.

“The photos won’t come out great like this,” Taehyung chided, “leave me, you idiot.”

Jungkook didn’t. He paid no attention to Taehyung’s words until Taehyung moved away, slowly
sitting down on the sand. The sand was still cold under his touch, Taehyung inhaled the fresh,
morning air, smiling when he saw Jungkook walking down through the sand.

“What?” he asked, grinning, when Jungkook pointed the camera at him. The shutter went off back
to back. Taehyung giggled, ignoring the lens and focusing his eyes on the sun.

“It’s gorgeous,” he whispered, “Fine, you are forgiven.”

Jungkook dropped the camera, watching him with a smile, “I knew you would love it.”

Taehyung hummed, nodding, “I did. I would have loved it even more if you didn’t drag me out of
my room without letting me change or brush my teeth. I probably have gunk in my eyes.”
“You look beautiful,” Jungkook shrugged, “and you can change, wash your face when we go to the
next point.”

“Next point?” Taehyung asked, frowning, “now where? You realize we have a shoot, right?”

Jungkook came to pull Taehyung up, pointing the camera at them, “it doesn’t start until one in the
afternoon. We will be back before that. Now it’s just six forty.”

Taehyung smiled at the camera, making a peace sign against his face. Jungkook reached out,
grabbing around his waist and moving the camera up high. They posed for a few more photos.
Jungkook taking Taehyung’s photos as they descended towards their car. Taehyung made faces,
laughing when Jungkook clicked away nonetheless.

“Stop now!” He whined, covering his face, “enough already.”

Jungkook tried to pry his hands away, the camera dangling from his neck. Taehyung reached out,
trying to take away the device. In their struggle, they ended up against the car. With Taehyung’s
back pressed against the car and Jungkook holding his wrists in his grip while pressing him against
the car.

They both panted. Taehyung squinted his eyes against the sun that was behind Jungkook, leaving
his face in shadows. His chest was pressed against Jungkook’s panting one. Taehyung’s eyes were
blinking fast to adjust. When Jungkook moved to shield his eyes from the sun, Taehyung finally
noticed the look on his face.

He knew that look by now. Those intense eyes were fixed on him, leaving Taehyung’s mind in
chaos. That was the look Jungkook always had on his face when he came to Taehyung’s room at
night, kissing him against his bed. Taehyung had traced those intense eyes with his own before
leaning in to capture those parted lips with his.

But they had never done it in broad daylight. They had never kissed or touched each other so
closely in open. It was a secret. Their secret. Hidden away in darkness and between those four
walls.

Taehyung moved away, turning in Jungkook’s arms to open the door of the car. He wasn’t going to
kiss Jungkook in the middle of the desert, in broad daylight. It was… it was scary. To see Jungkook
so clearly, see those emotions in light and feel the intensity in his bones just for it to mean nothing
to the other. He was terrified of giving away his own secrets. Scared of his own feelings being
transparent for Jungkook to see.

“Let’s go,” he sounded breathy, “where is the next point?”

“Uh,” Jungkook coughed, watching Taehyung settle in his seat, “yeah. Yeah. Let’s go.”

Taehyung leaned his head against the window, closing his eyes to gain some rest. His eyes flew
open when he felt Jungkook’s palm tugging his, taking his hand in Jungkook’s warm one.
Taehyung looked out through the window, resolutely ignoring the way his eyes burnt.

This was not something Taehyung wanted. This was not sex. This was being captured in his heart,
getting stored in his memories forever. Taehyung hated that he knew how he would come back to
these moments when Jungkook would be gone. Just to feel noting but searing pain. The pain that
burnt in his chest, the fire spreading through the warmth of Jungkook’s hand in his. Taehyung tried
to imagine Jungkook doing this with someone else. He was masochist that way. He always
imagined Jungkook with someone else, anyone but him, just to familiarize the pain. Yet it never
helped. The pain never felt familiar. It was just as sharp every time.

When Jungkook went to change the gear, Taehyung shoved his hands between his thighs, staring
out of the window resolutely.

===&=&===

They changed in the tents where the other boys would join them around midday. The camps were
set with their costumes and accessories. The people working there let Jungkook and Taehyung
freshen up in the makeshift toilet and Taehyung changed in a comfortable shirt with a pair of acid-
washed jeans. When he came out of the toilet, Jungkook was already waiting with a basket in his
hand. It had their breakfast packed. Taehyung raised his brows at it and Jungkook smiled.

“Breakfast is here,” he held the basket out for Taehyung to see, “we will eat in the car. Let’s go.”

“I have no idea where we are going now,” Taehyung murmured to himself, getting in the car, “you
realize one of the hyungs will call us out for this, right? We will get scolded. I will blame it all on
you.”

“We won’t be late,” Jungkook rolled his eyes, “they are still asleep. I am sure. We will be here
before schedule. Trust me.”

Taehyung hummed, watching the car move through the desert, “where are we going?”

“You will see,” Jungkook grinned, “I am sure you will love it.”

“Right,” Taehyung looked back at the desert.

===&=&===

“This is ridiculous,” Taehyung stepped out of the car with a curse, “are you serious?”

Jungkook nodded, grabbing at his wrist and pulling him forward, “I am. Now let’s go.”

The hot-air balloon was standing proudly, moving side to side. The men preparing the balloon
greeted them with matching grins. Jungkook ushered Taehyung closer, watching how the pilot was
ready to take flight.

Taehyung stepped into the balloon and watched the pilot wear a headphone, the partition between
them dividing the space. Jungkook stepped in beside Taehyung, grinning at him.

“You are stupid,” Taehyung said, gripping the side of the basket and flinching when the fire
started with a roar. He watched the pilot turn his back towards them as if to give them privacy in
that small space.

Taehyung looked back out at the desert, spread all around him. Wherever his eyes went, all
Taehyung saw was the sand. Yet it was exquisite. The sun was now up, spreading its hue all over
the desert and colouring it in bright golden and grey where the shadows caught. Taehyung could
see Falcons flying across the desert. His eyes followed the birds. Some people were training them,
standing and watching them fly. Maybe for a race. Their wings caught the sunlight, orange hue
clashing with their brownish feathers. A smile graced his lips when he saw how far the Falcons
were going. His eyes chasing after them.

His smile faltered when he felt Jungkook pressing against his back, hands coming to cover his on
the edge. Taehyung looked down where Jungkook’s palms covered his, squeezing his palms.
Taehyung sucked in a breath, trying to keep his head up and eyes on the desert.

He couldn’t.

Not when lips grazed the side of his neck, nibbling there. It tickled, making him squirm. He
elbowed Jungkook lightly, asking him to stop without voicing it.

Jungkook’s arm moved, holding his chin and manipulating it sideways. Taehyung turned his face
towards where Jungkook was already watching him. Their noses almost touching.

“He can see,” Taehyung reminded Jungkook, feeling his own breath catching in his throat when
Jungkook looked down at his lips.

“He has seen enough of these to care,” Jungkook murmured back, leaning in.

Taehyung’s grip tightened on the railing, his resolve faltering, “Gukkie…”

Jungkook hummed, eyes darting over Taehyung’s face and focusing back on his lips. Taehyung’s
toes pressed down on the sole of his boots, mouth slacking as soon as Jungkook’s lips touched his.
It felt like Jungkook was sucking the tension out of his body, Taehyung’s shoulders slumping
while he accepted the younger’s nudging lips against his own.

It was an awkward angle. Taehyung’s neck arched sideways and Jungkook leaning over him. Yet it
worked somehow. Jungkook’s left arm came around Taehyung’s waist, holding him as their lips
moved together.

“I wanted to kiss you since morning,” Jungkook murmured against his lips, between kisses.

Taehyung whined, giving in and turning in Jungkook’s arms, “shut up.”

He didn’t want to hear those words. They build the fire in him, hope rising like the smoke, choking
him almost. He hated that feeling. Instead, he cupped Jungkook’s face, moving closer when
Jungkook parted his lips. It was intense, the way Jungkook kissed him, and Taehyung gave in. A
soft mewl left his mouth when Jungkook bit his tongue, teasingly pulling at it. Taehyung hummed,
feeling the way Jungkook’s mouth pressed against his. Warm. Soft. Wet.

“You look so beautiful,” Jungkook said, leaning down to mouth at his neck, making Taehyung
shiver.

Taehyung closed his eyes, arms looping around Jungkook’s neck, “no marks. Gukkie.”

Jungkook pepped kisses all over his collarbones, hands roaming over Taehyung’s sides, pulling up
his shirt, feeling the softness of his skin. Taehyung moaned, his own arms clutching at Jungkook’s
back.

“If you paid to just make out then we could have done this in the hotel,” he said, looking at where
the pilot still had his back to them, “are you into exhibitionism?”

Jungkook was sucking onto his neck, pointedly ignoring Taehyung’s orders of no marks, “maybe.”

“I said no marks,” Taehyung fisted his hand in Jungkook’s hair, tugging him back, “don’t.”

Jungkook looked at him, eyes blazing with arousal, “God. Why not?”

“Because what will I say to the makeup noona?” Taehyung tried to cover himself up, “and the
boys? No marks where people can see.”
“Then let me mark you where people can’t see,” Jungkook blurted out, eyes going wide in an
instant.

Taehyung watched the man in front of him and raised his brows, “that’s…”

“Tonight?” Jungkook asked, “I want to…”

Taehyung turned back towards the view, blush high on his cheeks as he shrugged, “I am sharing
the room with Jin hyung.”

“God,” Jungkook cursed, pressing forward to wrap his arms around Taehyung, “I hate you
sometimes.”

Taehyung smiled, leaning his head against Jungkook’s chest, “I hate you too.”

===&=&===

Yoongi hated the sand. He hated the way he had nowhere to hide from the glaring sun. Even in the
winter. Why was the sun so bright? Why couldn’t it rain? No, wait. He hated rain too. He hated
how the boys were throwing sand at each other. He hated how the sand was getting into his boots
and when the breeze blew, those particles were messing up his hair. If he combed his hair, he
could feel the sand tangled in his locks, itching on his scalp. He had to wash his face twice because
sand had gotten in his eyes, burning and itching viciously.

He scowled at Hoseok when the guy came at him with two fistfuls of sand, predatory eyes glinting
with mischief.

“I will kill you and bury you in this desert, Hoseok, if you throw it at me,” he warned, eyes ablaze.
From the corner of his eyes, he could see Jimin and Taehyung rolling on the sand, throwing each
other fistfuls of it.

“You are no fun,” Hoseok said, pouting, “Come on. This is fun.”

Yoongi was yet to understand what the fun in throwing sand at each other. They were done
shooting for the three days. It was time for them to get back to the hotel and relax. He didn’t
understand why no one was moving.

“Tomorrow morning I am going for the sunrise,” Jimin called from where he was standing,
grinning at all of them, “Who wants to come?”

“Jungkook,” Taehyung said, holding out his hand, “he loves it.”

“Anyone else?” Jimin looked over at where Yoongi was standing, leaning against the car with
Hoseok standing right beside him.

“I am not going to wake up that early,” Jin shook his head, “shooting ends today. Tomorrow is our
free day. I am sleeping till midday.”

Namjoon nodded in agreement, sitting over the hood of a jeep.

“I am not going to wake up that early either,” Hoseok poured the sand down Yoongi’s head,
grinning at Yoongi’s indignant curses, “we will see you for the night club, Jimin-ah.”

“Yoongi hyung,” Jimin whined, coming over to grab at his hand, “you come with us.”

Yoongi shook his head, twisting his hand free, “no way in hell. I am already tired as fuck. Can’t
wake up that early.”

“So it’s just me and Jungkook then?” Jimin looked around hopelessly.

“I am afraid so,” Taehyung said, still on the sand, looking up at the sky.

“You come with us too,” Jungkook came to stand beside Taehyung, looking down at him.

Yoongi watched the way Taehyung smiled up at him. He noticed the curve of those lips. The way
Taehyung’s eyes went from Jungkook to Jimin before he shook his head.

“Nah, I have seen it once. We good.”

“It won’t hurt seeing it twice,” Jungkook knelt, hand reaching out to move the strands of hair out of
Taehyung’s hair with a smile, “it will be just as beautiful.”

The look on Taehyung’s face was melancholic at best. Yoongi saw the way Taehyung watched
Jungkook, smiling ruefully, maybe without even realizing it.

“I don’t wanna intrude,” Taehyung rolled away this time when Jungkook’s reached for him, “you
and Jimin it is.”

“Can we go now?” Yoongi called for attention, “I can feel sand in my fucking mouth. I need a
shower. Let’s go!”

“Are you sure it’s not up to your ass too?” Hoseok asked, making a face at him.

“I am sure it is,” Yoongi deadpanned, “it’s everywhere on me.”

Everyone laughed at his grumpy words and followed him towards the cars. Yoongi sighed, his
shoulders losing a bit of tension when Jimin came rushing, grasping onto his hand. He looked over
to where Jungkook was.

The sight made him pause, Jimin tugging at his arm to make him move.

“What is it, hyung?” Jimin asked, looking back at where Yoongi was looking.

Yoongi shrugged, “nothing. Let’s go.”

===&=&===

“How was the sunrise?” Namjoon asked.

All of them were gathered for breakfast in his room. Taehyung had a plate full of scrambled egg.
He was eyeing the sandwiches, thinking if he should take one or two when Namjoon’s voice
caught his attention.

He looked up to see Jungkook and Jimin walking into the room. Their grins wide and matching.
They looked tired, exhausted even.

“We did a mini photoshoot,” Jimin announced, “God! It was so lovely. Kookie here clicked so
many photos. We raced, made dancing videos and rolled off the dunes so many times.”

“You fell off,” Jungkook rolled his eyes, smiling, “clumsy.”

“Hey!” Jimin shoved at him, “you were all perfect and all, I agree, but stop teasing me,” he then
turned to face the gathering, “we booked hot-air balloon ride. For all of us. So eat up and let’s go.”

Taehyung plastered his eyes on his plate, chewing monotonously. Everyone agreed to the idea,
excitement filling the room.

“Tae,” Yoongi called from the bed, “pass the sandwiches.”

When Taehyung passed the plate, Yoongi raised his brows in question. Taehyung shook his head,
smiling in what he hoped was assurance.

“You two get showered after eating,” Jin pointed at Jimin and Jungkook, “we are all ready.”

Taehyung watched Jungkook preparing a plate before handing it over to Jimin. Jimin grinned at
him, elbow resting on Jungkook’s thigh while he ate.

Taehyung’s grip on the spoon tightened when Jungkook held out his own sandwich, saying
something about it tasting different. Jimin took a bite, humming and giggling when Jungkook
tickled him about being dramatic.

“Share some of your scrambled eggs,” Yoongi was suddenly beside him, scraping at his plate, “you
have a full plate.”

Taehyung watched Yoongi, a grateful smile on his face at Yoongi’s obvious intention of
distracting him.

“Why are you so good?” he asked Yoongi, feeding him some scrambled eggs.

“We are the members of the same club, remember?” Yoongi smirked at him.

Taehyung snorted, coughing in his fist.

===&=&===

“Two balloons,” Jungkook spoke, dictating the team, “three in one. Four in another. How about
hyungs and maknaes in two balloons?”

“I want to ride with Yoongi hyung,” Taehyung said, “Hobi hyung, why don’t you go for the other
one?”

“I have no problem,” Hoseok said, marching over to where the other balloon stood.

“Why do you want to join them?” Jimin asked, “and I want to ride with Yoongi hyung too.”

Others watched as Taehyung and Jimin tried to manage the people in two different balloons.

Namjoon amusedly placed his arm around Yoongi’s shoulder, leaning closer, “since when you
became this popular among the maknaes?”

Yoongi elbowed him, earning himself a cackle from Jin while Namjoon whined, “I always was,
jackass.”

When it looked like Jimin and Taehyung both were ready to physically fight, Jin stepped in.

“How about Yoongi, Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung go for that one,” he pointed at one of the
balloons, “I, Joonie and Hobi take this one? Yeah?”
Everyone hummed in approval and Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“This was easy,” he said to everyone, “why didn’t anyone think this sooner?”

“Because you all are lost without me!” Jin flexed, wiggling his brows.

“Here he goes boasting,” Namjoon huffed, crossing his arms.

“Let’s go,” Jin tugged at Namjoon and Hoseok, “I am terrified so I am standing in the middle.”

“Who said I am not terrified?” Hoseok asked, already sounding shaky.

Yoongi leaned against the railing, Jimin beside him. Taehyung had his back to everyone, eyes
stuck on the setting sun. Jungkook leaned against the parting, looking casually at the pilot move
around. Yoongi sucked in a breath and watched how the balloon left the ground. Air was rushing
through his hair, this time making him smile. It was freeing somehow. The sound of the fire going
and the rush of the wind mixing in an odd echo. It was the time of sunset. They all focused on the
setting sun, pink hues cuddling the orange ball of fire. Yoongi jumped when he felt Jimin rest his
head on his shoulder. He looked at where Jimin had looped his arm around his elbow, smiling
softly at the setting sun.

“Isn’t it gorgeous?” he asked.

Yoongi watched how the pink rays of the sun played on Jimin’s skin, leaving behind a tender
glow. Jimin’s eyes shone brightly, focused on the sky. The smile tilting his lips lusciously.

“Yeah,” Yoongi breathed out, “it’s breathtaking.”

When Jimin gave him that wide smile, Yoongi looked away, trying to catch his breath.

===&=&===

Taehyung was tired. He was tired from all the activities throughout the day. He trudged into the
hotel with slumped shoulders and sleep muddled eyes.
“Can I skip tonight?” he asked, leaning against the wall of the lift, “I am so tired.”

“No way,” Jimin said, vehemently shaking his head, “go and take a nap now. We will be leaving
for the nightclub around eight. So you will be fresh by then. Don’t be an old geek.”

Taehyung whined, leaning against the wall, “it’s already two in the afternoon!”

“I don’t care,” Jimin glared at him, “we planned this night from the first day. You are not ditching
us.”

“You still have hours, Tae,” Jin was yawning against Hoseok, “just take a nap. I will do the same.”

“Just don’t wake me up before seven,” Yoongi said, eyes closed, “I don’t care what the problem is.
I will kill you if you do.”

“No one will,” Namjoon said, still somewhat alert, “we are leaving at eight. Let’s meet in the
lobby. Yeah?”

“Cool,” Taehyung nodded, yawning against his hand, “I will just take a nap then.”

“Jungkook and I will be in our room,” Jimin turned towards the younger, “we need to edit the clips
from the trip. I want to make sure he doesn’t use some of my embarrassing clips. Tae, you should
watch out for that too.”

Taehyung shook his head, “I really don’t care.”

===&=&===

Taehyung woke up to Jin tugging his ankle. Eyes bleary and hands wiping at his drooling mouth,
he quirked his eyes open inquisitively.

“It’s past seven already,” Jin looked polished, ready for the night, “get up and get dressed. We are
going to be late otherwise.”

Taehyung rolled on the bed, whining when Jin pulled the duvet off him. He knew begging for a
few more minutes would not help. With a yawn and stretch, he rolled out of the bed.

“I have nothing to wear,” he murmured to himself while going to the washroom.

“You literally brought three suitcases,” Jin deadpanned, wiping at his cheeks with a brush, “do you
think I look good enough for Namjoon to rail me?”

Taehyung gagged, “hyung! That’s nasty!”

Jin rolled his eyes, “I mean, we haven’t done it in a few weeks. By the way, you have to share a
room with Jimin and Hoseok tonight. I will bring Namjoon here.”

“Just don’t fuck on my bed,” Taehyung said, “and remember we have a flight tomorrow.”

“At evening,” Jin said, shrugging, “I mean, we are young men but that’s a long time even for us to
keep going at it.”

Taehyung closed the door behind himself. He needed another shower.

.
.

Jin fussed over his hair, combing through it before applying hairspray. Taehyung let Jin apply
some eye-shadow around his eyes too, enhancing his eyes. He whined about the lens but had to
give up when Jin rounded his eyes as if ready to admonish him. That way he ended up with a
brown contact lens.

The highlighter was the last step before Taehyung applied the setting spray all over his face. He
looked at himself and nodded at Jin in thanks. He looked good if he had to say it himself.

Taehyung wore a tight black leather pant, too tight around his thighs. The sleeveless tank-top was
made of silk, bright white against his tanned skin. Over it, Taehyung shrugged on a bomber jacket,
made of black velvet with golden and silver stones itched onto it, like stardust. The jacket reflected
under the light, giving him a shiny feel.

Taehyung opted for a silver choker, a ruby pendant dangling from it. The last accessory was the
long earring. A simple long platinum chain, connecting two of his earrings on his left ear, leaving
his right one bare.

After applying the lip-tint, he nodded at Jin, “I am done.”

“If you don’t get fucked tonight, no men in Dubai has taste,” Jin said, putting on his red jacket
while grinning at Taehyung’s flustered protests.
“Now let’s go before Jimin rips our heads off for being late.”

Taehyung nodded, spraying a little perfume onto himself and rubbing some of it at the crook of his
neck before following Jin out of their shared room.

.
.

They reached the lobby in no time. Jin pointed at where the boys were already waiting. Everyone
turned at them when Jin called out for them to move.

“Fuck,” Namjoon said, eyeing Jin with an appreciative smile on his face, “you clean up good.”

“I had to,” Jin said, smirking, “kind of trying to get fucked tonight.”

“I really didn’t need to hear that,” Hoseok said, standing up from the sofa with a wince, “look at
Tae though!”

Taehyung smiled, taking in everyone in the lounge. His eyes settled on Jungkook who had his eyes
already set on Taehyung.

Jungkook had kept his attire casual and subtle. Yet Taehyung found himself staring. The younger
had worn a black chiffon shirt with white dots on it. It contrasted against his pale skin. The first
three buttons of the shirt were undone, showing off his necklace with a half-moon pendant
reflecting the light. The small diamonds blinding under the lights. Jungkook had the shirt tucked in
a pair of black jeans, secure around his waist with a black leather belt. It was articulating his waist
perfectly. His hair was messy, parted in the middle. It looked like he had combed his hair back
quite a few times.

“Ready to leave?” Jimin broke Taehyung’s trance, “geez, you look gorgeous.”

Taehyung shrugged, looking away from Jungkook, “let’s go. We will be late.”

Everyone moved then, following Jimin, who had his arm around Taehyung, out of the door into
their car.

They had a minivan waiting for them. Taehyung went in first, Jimin and the others following him.

“Are we allowed to like… throw caution to the wind?” Hoseok asked, looking at Namjoon, “you
know?”

Namjoon nodded, looking down at his phone, “this is an exclusive nightclub with class A security
system, Hobi. You are fine. Just enjoy it tonight. Everything is secured.”

“It’s a high profile nightclub,” Jimin quipped, “privacy is their main attribute.”

“Just don’t end up shitfaced drunk or with someone who can take advantage of you and we are
good,” Yoongi reminded everyone, “If you pick someone just remember to be alert.”

“Now let’s stop discussing sex and enjoy the night,” Taehyung cut in, “I am kind of still reeling
from how Jin hyung asked me if he looked edible enough for Joonie hyung to rail him.”

Everyone laughed when Jin cursed and started yelling at Taehyung about roommate privacy. It
was Namjoon’s assurance that he was already thinking about railing him that got Jin to shut up.

Everyone groaned, praying for the ride to end fast.

 ===&=&===

“Let’s dance!” Jimin said after taking two shots, getting out of their booth, “I am done sitting
down. Come on.”

“I will have another shot,” Yoongi stood up, “anyone wants anything?”

Everyone started listing their drink and Yoongi listened with his hands shoved in his pockets.

“I was just being civil,” Yoongi spoke when everyone was done, “get your own drinks.”

Hoseok stood up with a laugh, “I will get it. Let’s go.”

As they left, Jimin turned towards the remaining ones, “come on! Let’s dance.”

“I am good here,” Taehyung said, shaking his head, “I am done dancing for the whole month to be
very honest.”

Jin and Namjoon nodded too. They were sitting beside each other, talking among themselves and
Taehyung was sure Namjoon’s hand was somewhere between Jin’s thighs. Which… he didn’t want
to think about.

“So I will dance alone then?” Jimin pouted, “Come on, people. Why are you all so boring?”

“Let’s go,” Jungkook stood up, “you and me.”

“Really?” Jimin grinned, grabbing Jungkook’s hand, “let’s go then.”

Taehyung watched them go off towards the dance floor. His eyes trailed after them, watching how
the crowd forced them closer, swallowing them from all around. Jimin turned towards Jungkook
after reaching the dance floor, arms on his shoulder while he started moving his hips. Jungkook
placed his hands on Jimin’s hips, moving along. They were talking, head lolled closer. The music
rolled off of them, drowning them in rhythm. No wonder they were the dance line of their group.
Taehyung could see the way they moved so in sync, steps never faltering. They complimented each
other. The perfect duo. Jungkook’s smile could be seen from where Taehyung was sitting. In the
middle of the crowd, they were standing out. Their movements catching the eyes of everyone.
Jimin turned in Jungkook’s arms, moving against Jungkook with his head thrown back. Jungkook
leaned his head on Jimin’s shoulder, arms around him.

“Excuse me,” Taehyung got out of the booth too when Namjoon and Jin paid him no mind. Their
heads lolled closer, words being exchanged between them.

He walked towards the bar, manoeuvring his way through the crowd. He found a stool to sit on.
When he looked around, Taehyung could see Yoongi and Hoseok at a corner, Yoongi sitting and
Hoseok leaning against the counter, nursing a drink and talking to each other.

“One Gimlet,” Taehyung spoke to the bartender, inclining towards the bar with a sigh.

The place was crowded. The loud music making Taehyung’s chest throb with the beats. Taehyung
squinted under the disco lights, flashing on the dance floor, blinding him in the process. The
headache was building. Taehyung knew he had to excuse himself soon. Just to breathe properly. He
felt like taking his jacket off, the sweat building on his back. Rolling down his spine.

“For you,” the bartender placed a glass of Martini along with his own order in front of him, “from
that guy.”
Taehyung looked over to where that said guy was leaning against the counter. A small smile on his
face when Taehyung’s eyes matched his. Taehyung nodded, stirring the drink lightly.

The guy walked up to him. A smile still on his face and stride confident.

“Do you like blowjobs or sex on the beach?” the guy asked, raising his brows in question.

“I am talking about cocktails, of course,” Taehyung finished the line with a smirk, laughing at the
off-guard look he got from the guy.

The guy quirked his eyebrows in question, smiling at Taehyung.

“Let’s just say you are not the first one to tell me that,” Taehyung said, “hi.”

“God, you caught me off-guard,” the guy chuckled, “Elijah. Hi…”

“Vante,” Taehyung said, nodding at Elijah, “nice pickup line, by the way.”

Elijah laughed, shaking his head, “but you caught on. I should have tried something else.”

“Like?” Taehyung swivelled the stool to face Elijah, a teasing smile on his lips, “share some.”

“Why?” Elijah leaned his left elbow on the counter, a sultry look on his face, “Want to try it on
someone else?”

Taehyung shrugged, popping one olive in his mouth, tongue rolling the olive leisurely, “maybe?
Let’s see if you know more than I do.”

Elijah pulled the Gimlet towards him, eyeing Taehyung while taking a sip. He nodded at the taste,
rolling his tongue in his mouth as if to make the flavour linger. Taehyung wanted to laugh at the
way Elijah was trying to appeal to him. He wanted to tell the guy that he didn’t have to try so hard.
Taehyung was already interested if the look was the case.

Elijah had curly hair till his shoulder, brown locks shining under the lights. His greenish eyes were
gorgeous if Taehyung could say so himself. The pale skin was a great contrast with the black shirt
he wore. Those long legs were wrapped in white jeans, black Chelsea boots finishing the attire
perfectly.

“Do you like rock and roll music because…” Elijah paused when Taehyung held up his hand.

“I can rock your world,” Taehyung finished the line, laughing heartily. His eyes crinkled when
Elijah joined in, shaking his head.

“You know a lot of these too,” he said to Taehyung, still sipping from the Gimlet, “and here I
thought I was the king of cheesy pickup lines.”

“King?” Taehyung raised his brows, taking a tentative sip of the Martini, “knight, as far as I will
go.”

“What does that make you?” Elijah leaned closer, eyes twinkling, “the prince?”

“Maybe,” Taehyung held the stick of Olive near his mouth, sucking on it and watching how
Elijah’s eyes dropped on his mouth, “or the king?”

“In that case, can I be your knight in shining armour?” Elijah’s hand dropped on his thigh, “I
promise, I can show you a whole new world if you let me.”
Taehyung sucked onto the olive, chewing a small bite off of it, “well, that sounds authentic. Say,
do you have a carpet waiting for you outside? To whisk us away?”

The laugh bubbled in Elijah, he pressed his lips together to step between Taehyung’s thighs, “well,
I don’t know about the carpet but I can show you my monkey if you want.”

Taehyung threw his head back, laughing cordially. His hand flew out when he felt like he would
lose his balance and found Elijah’s shoulder. Elijah reached out, grabbing his waist to steady him.
When Taehyung sat up properly, Elijah was almost between his legs. Those eyes were warm and
fixed on Taehyung. Taehyung’s eyes dropped on those lips, his insides preening with such
attention.

“Kiss me if I am wrong,” Elijah leaned closer, his breath ghosting over Taehyung’s face, “but
dinosaurs still exist. Right?”

Taehyung gripped the front of Elijah’s shirt, eyes on those lips, “well, I guess they don’t.”

“Well, shoot,” Elijah said, “I am wrong then.”

“I think you are,” Taehyung closed his eyes, feeling the way Elijah’s lips pressed against his.

It was probably him or Elijah, Taehyung didn’t know, but the moan was soft to his ear. Taehyung’s
grip tightened on Elijah’s shirt.

There was a moment of stillness before Elijah was ripped away from him. Taehyung’s eyes flew
open when he was grabbed and pulled against a hard chest.

“What the fuck!” Elijah looked alarmed, “dude!”

Taehyung tried not to stumble on his feet when he was tugged away from Elijah. He looked over
his shoulder to see Jungkook glaring in Elijah’s direction.

“What the hell are you doing?” Elijah asked, shocked.

“Let’s go,” Jungkook pulled at Taehyung’s wrist.

“Jungkook, wait,” Taehyung flinched when Elijah rounded them to stand in front of Jungkook.
Almost towering over him.

“What do you think you are doing?” Elijah asked, glaring at Jungkook, “we were talking!”

“He is my friend,” Jungkook gritted out, “if you don’t want to be thrown out of the club, keep your
fucking voice down and find someone else to talk to.”

Taehyung looked around in mortification, trying to see where his other friends were. No one was
there. Even Yoongi and Hoseok had vanished too. The music was thankfully loud enough to drown
out their voices. People too intoxicated to spear them more than a glance.

“What the hell, Vante?” Elijah looked at Taehyung, “is he your boyfriend?”

“Vante?” Jungkook turned towards Taehyung, a sardonic smirk on his face, “really? You would
kiss someone you don’t bother to give your real name to?”

Taehyung glared, looking back at where Elijah was looking at them with rounded eyes.

“I am sorry,” Taehyung shook his head, “for this. Really.”

Before Elijah could say a word, Taehyung was pulled through the nightclub. Taehyung looked
back to see Elijah still looking at them, wide eyes following them as Jungkook guided him away.

The anger mixed with humiliation. It coursed through Taehyung while his feet carried him behind
Jungkook. Their hands were still joined. He glared at the man’s back until they were safely out of
the nightclub and standing in a dark alley. The backside of the club, where no one was probably
allowed. Taehyung could see the trashcans lining up against the other side of the door, hiding them
both from the main road under the vast shadows. The main road was far away, only the horns and
lights of passing cars reaching them.

“What the fuck was that?!” Taehyung gritted out, tone gravelly yet controlled. He didn’t want
anyone to hear them. He couldn’t see anyone but he didn’t want to risk it. They were still outside.

“Are you asking me that?!” Jungkook didn’t hold back, his voice icy, “what were you doing?!”

“Trying to get laid?” Taehyung raised his brows, “kissing?” he crossed his arms against his chest,
“making out?”

“Why?” Jungkook shouted almost, “are you fucking serious? Why were you being all clingy to
him when we…”

“We?” Taehyung stood up straight, “We are not dating, Jungkook! You don’t understand how this
thing works, do you? No strings attached means we are not compelled to just be with each other. I
don’t owe you anything. I have nothing stopping me from sleeping around. Just like I am not
stopping you from grinding on the dance floor.”

Jungkook’s eyes were round. Taehyung could see the anger swirling in them. He watched how
Jungkook processed his words, hands tight in fists.

“I am not sleeping around,” Jungkook hissed, “and I was dancing with Jimin. Not grinding. I won’t
do that to you and I don’t want you to either.”

“Well, I don’t care what you want,” Taehyung flared his hands, “I wanted to get laid and…”

Taehyung hissed when Jungkook moved, pressing him against the wall of the club. Taehyung
placed his hands on Jungkook’s chest, trying to maintain some distance when Jungkook pressed in
closer.

“I can’t tell you how it felt to see you kissing him,” Jungkook murmured, sounding pained, “I am
selfish, I know, but I don’t want to share what’s mine.”

“I am not a property,” Taehyung closed his eyes, teeth grinding together, “I am not your
possession. You can’t order me what to do and what not to. You are not getting this, Jungkook.
This is not how…”

“I know,” Jungkook whispered, leaning down to press his lips against Taehyung’s neck, “but let’s
just be exclusive. Yeah?”

“What?” Taehyung asked, pulling back as far as he could with Jungkook pressing against him and
the wall behind him, to look at Jungkook, “what do you mean?”

“Let’s be just each other’s fuck buddies,” Jungkook said, hands caging Taehyung against the wall,
“because I don’t want to kiss you and think how someone else was doing it just a few hours ago. It
disgusts me.”
“I have slept with others,” Taehyung glared, “I am not a virgin. If that disgust you, tough, you can’t
do anything.”

“I don’t care what you did before me,” Jungkook’s jaw clenched, “but I don’t want to be one of
your hookups. When you are with me, just be mine.”

“Then you don’t get to grind against anyone either,” Taehyung hissed, grabbing Jungkook’s shirt,
“it goes both ways.”

“Are you jealous?” Jungkook’s eyes searched Taehyung’s face, hands moving to cup Taehyung’s
hips, “of me dancing with Jimin?”

“I don’t give a fuck,” Taehyung wanted to slap Jungkook when the guy gave him a disbelieving
scoff, “but if I am going to be exclusively yours then I want the same.”

“Fine,” Jungkook shrugged, leaning forward.

“We need to talk,” Taehyung turned his face away when Jungkook leaned closer, “we need to
discuss things. What is okay, what is not. I don’t want to repeat this incident. This is ridiculous.
The boys could have seen us. We need to talk about a lot of things.”

“Then let’s go,” Jungkook tugged him away from the wall, “let’s talk. Let’s set some ground rules.
Because I won’t have this happening again either.”

“The boys are still there,” Taehyung’s eyes widened, “we can’t suddenly run off without informing
them.”

“We can,” Jungkook was already pulling out his phone, “I will text them that we are going off to
explore the city.”

“Really?” Taehyung snorted, “City exploring?”

Jungkook shrugged, “whatever.”

They came to stand by the main road, Jungkook signalling for a taxi to stop. They got in, sitting in
silence.

“Jin hyung said to take care,” Jungkook leaned against the seat, “told you.”

Taehyung kept quiet. Ignoring how Jungkook’s hand came to rest on his thigh.

They stepped out in front of their hotel, marching in after paying the taxi off.

“What are you doing?” Taehyung asked, confused, when Jungkook went to the reception. He
followed, silently standing beside Jungkook as he booked another room.

“Why the hell do you need another room?” Taehyung asked, watching Jungkook take the keycard,
“Jungkook?”

Jungkook turned towards him, reaching out to take his hands in a tight grip, “so that when I fuck
you, no one walks in.”

Taehyung faltered. The words wrapping around him. The tingles started from his fingertips and
spread through his veins. The arousal coiling in the pit of his stomach when he was tugged into the
lift behind Jungkook.
“We will talk,” he said, finding himself pressed against the lift’s wall, “then if I want we will…”
the words died in his mouth when Jungkook’s lips touched the side of his neck, sucking, “no
bruises. Jungkook!”

Taehyung whined, feeling Jungkook’s thigh between his legs. His eyes screwed shut as soon as
Jungkook’s thigh cupped his groin, pressing down. Jungkook was tugging his jacket away, kissing
down Taehyung’s throat.

“I want to fuck your mouth,” Jungkook hissed against Taehyung’s skin, spreading goosebumps
across the skin, “fuck your mouth raw. Until you can’t speak anymore.”

Taehyung whined, grasping at Jungkook’s shirt and praying for the lift to hurry, “why? Because
Elijah kissed me?”

The growl was expected, yet it made Taehyung flinch. His insides twisted, a gasp falling out of his
mouth when Jungkook pressed down on his bulge, teeth sinking on the juncture of Taehyung’s
neck.

“Yes,” Jungkook’s reply was curt, sharp against his skin.

Taehyung pushed at Jungkook’s chest, “first we talk.”

Jungkook looked dishevelled, his irises were blown wide, “fine. Let’s talk because soon you won’t
be able to.”

Taehyung forced his heart to calm down, as much as he could. As soon as the door of the lift
opened, Jungkook was pulling him out with a grip on his wrist.

“Slow down, will you?” Taehyung whined, stumbling on his feet.

===&=&===

They sat on the sofa. Facing each other.

“Do I need a notebook and a pen?” Jungkook asked, “to write things down?”

The mockery in his tone made Taehyung glare. He swatted at Jungkook and rolled his eyes.

“You know we need some ground rules,” Taehyung pulled his legs up, sitting cross-legged.

“Like?” Jungkook matched him, looking at him with quirked brows.

“You know what?” Taehyung pulled out his phone, opening Notes to write, “I will send you the
rules. You are right. First, you can’t kiss me in public. That’s a no. anyone can record us. See us. I
am not sure we can afford that.”

Jungkook just sat, watching him. When no protests were made, Taehyung continued.

“Nothing suspicious in front of the boys either,” Taehyung pointed his finger at Jungkook, “We
can’t let them find out. None of them.”

“Fine,” Jungkook looked over to see Taehyung’s phone, “if we are talking then let’s talk about our
needs too. From this relationship.”

The word made Taehyung recoil. He shook his head, forcing his mind to not dwell on the word
Jungkook threw at him so casually.
“We are not in a relationship,” he pointed out, “this is about the sex. Just that.”

Jungkook watched him, “we are friends who fuck. That’s a kind of relationship too, Tae.”

“I like dirty talk,” Taehyung swivelled the conversation away, looking down at the screen as he
typed, “I like when my partner humiliates me during sex.”

“Humiliates you?” Jungkook leaned forward, his elbows resting on his thighs, “like how?”

“Calling me names,” Taehyung could feel the flush on his face, his eyes not being able to match
Jungkook’s curious ones, “slut-shaming. Just during sex.”

“Oh,” Jungkook sounded winded, “right.”

“Are you into it?” Taehyung asked, “we can do that but we both need to agree on things. What
names I don’t want to be called and what I like. Stuff like that. We have to walk through these
before we are comfortable.”

“I am into it,” Jungkook nodded, squirming closer to look down at the phone between them, “that’s
okay. This way I can call you a bitch when you are being one.”

Taehyung whacked Jungkook’s thigh, earning a laugh from the younger.

“Tell me what you like during sex,” Taehyung wrote down the two points and waited.

“I am into breath play,” Jungkook murmured, eyes meeting Taehyung’s wide ones nonchalantly, “I
like to choke my partner during sex.”

Taehyung squirmed, trying not to imagine Jungkook’s grip around his throat, controlling his
breathing as he fucked into him.

“That,” Taehyung coughed to steady his voice, “I don’t like suffocation. No pillows or blocking
out my face completely or shit like that. Nothing to suffocate me completely. It scares me but you
can choke me. That’s… okay.”

Jungkook nodded, “blindfold?”

“I like that,” Taehyung nodded, “tying me up is good too. Nothing to cover the full face.”

“I want to see you in skirts,” Jungkook said as if deep in thoughts, “lace. Want you to ride me
while wearing lace panties. Or lingerie.”

Taehyung pressed down on his groin. A whine leaving his mouth.

“That’s your fantasy shit,” Taehyung complained, “lace kink? Really?”

Jungkook shrugged, “why not? You would look lovely in panties. Riding me while I tie your hands
behind your back.”

“You had thought about it,” Taehyung mumbled, eyes wide with realization, “with me or someone
else…”

“You,” Jungkook cut off, “since we started this. That day, when you were changing in that tent,”
Jungkook looked at Taehyung’s legs, eyes skimming over them, “I suddenly thought your legs
would look lovely in fishnet, with a skirt or panties. Maybe stockings? I thought of buying you
skirts, some fancy tops. How you would look wearing those short skirts with strappy tops. I would
fuck your face as you sit on your knees, hands bound behind your back, or you can ride me.”

Taehyung closed his eyes, trying not to let those words get to him, “God! You are filthy. How
many girls have done these for you?”

“I don’t have lace-kink, Tae,” Jungkook rolled his eyes, “I just want to see you in lace. That’s not a
kink if it’s only you.”

Taehyung looked away, forcing himself to chuckle. The words from Jungkook’s mouth were
spiralling his mind. Taehyung had forced himself to think about their relationship as nothing but
physical. Yet Jungkook’s words were making him feel. Taehyung didn’t want to feel words.
Touches, strokes, physical closeness was all he wanted to think about with Jungkook.

Emotions were not something he wanted to be mixed in the settlement they had. But Jungkook was
blurring the lines. Always. Saying things that made Taehyung forget, even for a few moments, that
they were not a couple. This was nothing but physical.

Jungkook loved Jimin. It was like a mantra that Taehyung kept repeating to himself. To ground
him when Jungkook swept his off his feet. Taehyung blinked down at his phone, chuckling.

“Jimin would look lovely in lace,” he spoke, “you need to keep your that fantasy for him. I am not
wearing skirts and shit.”

Jungkook took Taehyung’s phone from the sofa and placed it on the tea-table. Taehyung’s breath
hitched when Jungkook tugged him on his lap. Taehyung straddled Jungkook’s thighs, looking
down while Jungkook looked up at him.

“Why not?” Jungkook’s voice was muffled, hands resting on Taehyung’s ass, he squeezed, “why
don’t you want to wear them?”

Taehyung looked away from those eyes. They were too intense, they were too invasive.

“Because I am not as gorgeous as Jimin,” he shook his head, hands supporting himself on
Jungkook’s shoulder, “I am not as soft and flexible as him either. I would be awkward. If it’s
something you have never done before then I am not really sure I should be the first one you
should try it with.”

“You said I will do all my firsts with you,” Jungkook mumbled, “I promised you all my firsts. I
want to see you in the clothes I buy for you. You don’t need to compare yourself with anyone. You
don’t have to look like anyone. I want to see you. Taehyung.”

Taehyung huffed, breathing out a low chuckle, “and after we are done, what am I gonna do with
them? Throw them out?”

Jungkook was quiet. Taehyung looked down at the younger.

“Can we keep it as negotiable?” Jungkook asked, “I am kind of really in need of your mouth on my
cock right now and you are kind of killing the mood.”

Taehyung hummed, squirming down until his mouth was hovering over Jungkook’s parted one.

“First you say sorry,” Taehyung skimmed Jungkook’s jawline with his lips, tongue peeking out to
trace the sharp jut of that chin, “for the scene you created in the nightclub.”

Jungkook’s grip on his ass tightened. He hummed, squeezing the cheeks in his palms. Taehyung
moaned, feeling the tightness in his pant. He wanted to get out of that leather, giving his dick space
to breathe. Yet he couldn’t move, Jungkook was leaving no room for him to even squirm.

“I am sorry,” Jungkook mouthed those words against Taehyung’s collarbones, leaving kisses on his
heated skin, “for the scene I created while saving you from that sorry ass guy.”

He groaned when Taehyung reached between them, cupping Jungkook’s cock. Taehyung gave it a
soft squeeze, watching how Jungkook furrowed his brows. A smirk appeared on his lips when
Jungkook glared at him, not backing down. Taehyung rubbed his hand up and down, stroking
Jungkook through the pant. Jungkook hissed, forehead dropping on Taehyung’s chest.

“Fuck, Tae,” he moaned, “either you get down on your knees or I take you across mine.”

The words surprised Taehyung. He pulled back to look at Jungkook. Jungkook looked back,
serious and determined.

“Spanking?” Taehyung asked, ignoring how his voice trembled.

Jungkook nodded, eyes hard on Taehyung’s face, “with hands. With other things. Whichever you
want.”

Taehyung sat there, trying to process the thought. His face might have given away how aroused he
felt because Jungkook was squeezing him, bringing him back to the moment.

“Get out of those pants and lay on my lap,” Jungkook’s voice was layered like he was trying to lure
Taehyung in, “come on. You can suck me off after that.”

Taehyung hurried to his feet. He ignored how Jungkook’s eyes followed him while he unzipped
the pant, hopping on his feet to get rid of it. It was not sexy according to him. He was struggling
and at one point he tripped, the leather tight around his ankles. Jungkook reached out, making sure
Taehyung wasn’t face-planting himself. It was anything but stripping in a sexy way.

When he was out of the material, he stood in front of Jungkook in his briefs. Jungkook was leaning
against the sofa, looking at him expectantly. Taehyung could feel the heat spreading on his face,
cheeks turning reddish under that heavy gaze.

He tugged at his briefs, pulling it down before kicking it off. He stood there in his white tank-top,
fiddling with the hem and trying to pull it down to cover himself.

“Just ask me to stop when you feel like and now lay across my lap, babe,” Jungkook murmured,
legs spread invitingly.

“Don’t call me that,” Taehyung snapped on reflex, shaking his head as if burnt, “I am not your
babe. This is not…”

“What do you want me to call you?” Jungkook asked, “Tell me.”

“Taehyung,” Taehyung murmured, “I am not your babe. I won’t be ever,” he ignored how his
voice quivered, “don’t role-play like that. I don’t want this to feel intimate. It’s just sex.”

The hardening of Jungkook’s jaw was visible. His expression blanked out while he gave Taehyung
a nod.

“On my lap, Taehyung,” the words were biting, “now.”

Taehyung did, awkwardly went to lay himself on Jungkook’s lap. He ignored how his dick was
pressed against Jungkook’s thigh or the way his top was sliding upwards while he squirmed to
reveal his ass for Jungkook to see.

Taehyung bit his lower lip when he felt Jungkook’s left arm across his back, pressing him down
and a few seconds later he felt the other hand caressing his thigh, gliding up to squeeze his ass.

“I don’t want you to say a word during this, Taehyung,” Jungkook murmured, “because,” the first
hit was sharp, shocking, “I am done listening to you.”

Taehyung grunted, eyes widening before he dropped his head. The first hit was on the back of his
thighs, short and sharp. It stung.

“You will learn to,” the second one came down right on the junction of where Taehyung’s ass met
his thighs, “accept that we are both in this and I have some says too, babe.”

Taehyung whined, the endearment causing him a jolt. He blinked, trying not to feel the way
Jungkook soothed the skin where he hit Taehyung.

“Just like you want to be called names,” the third one landed on his cheeks, hitting him right where
his puckered hole was, “I want to call you babe.”

Taehyung whimpered, tears burning his eyes when Jungkook’s hand came down on him quickly
for four more times, with no gaps between them. His skin was buzzing, the tingling sensation
spreading across his bottom.

“Look at you,” Jungkook caressed his cheeks, spreading them, “so ready and plump,” the next
blow was on Taehyung’s hole, making him shriek, “bet you love this. Right?”

Taehyung didn’t know if he was supposed to reply or not. He kept quiet. Trying to hold onto the
sob that was choking him now. His eyes widened when he felt Jungkook’s finger tracing the crack
of his ass-cheeks, down to his balls. Jungkook spread Taehyung’s legs and Taehyung squeezed his
eyes close. He knew the blow was coming and yet it surprised him.

Jungkook grunted, delivering three more quickly before he stopped. Taehyung wanted to refuse
when Jungkook tugged his hair, making his head loll upwards. When he met Jungkook’s eyes,
Jungkook was looking down at him with contemplation.

“Are you crying, babe?” Jungkook’s voice was tender, yet Taehyung could hear the mockery in it,
“Want me to stop? Ready to suck me off yet?”

Taehyung hissed when he felt Jungkook’s hand caressing his backside, massaging the hot skin. He
wanted to squirm away. Jungkook’s hand was squeezing him softly as it went.

“A few more,” Taehyung mumbled, sniffling, “call me names.”

“What do you want me to call you, babe?” Jungkook leaned down, mouth closer to Taehyung’s
ear, “the usual? Slut?” the next blow was loud, echoing around the space, “whore? But you are not
those things. Are you, babe?”

Taehyung dropped his head, shaking on Jungkook’s lap. His knees were burning where it was
folded on the floor. His arms uselessly trying to reach the floor to support him up and failing.
Taehyung shook his head, trying to come up with words.

Jungkook didn’t give him time. There were two more slaps before he was tugged upwards.
Taehyung whined when he was manoeuvred on the floor. He noticed the pillow under his knees
while he sat between Jungkook’s parted legs.

“Go on,” Jungkook murmured, “show me what kind of a slut you are then, babe. Let me see.”

Taehyung let out a shaky breath, reaching out for Jungkook’s zipper.

He pulled it down slowly, tugging at Jungkook’s pant until Jungkook shoved his pant, along with
his boxers, down till his ankle.

Taehyung waited until Jungkook was sitting at the edge of the sofa, stroking his own dick.

“Hands behind your back, babe,” Jungkook’s voice carried to him, “I just want your mouth.”

Taehyung followed the order, clasping his wrist behind his back and waiting patiently.

He watched how Jungkook tugged at himself, rubbing at the tip to smear the pre-cum on the head.
The vein under his dick flared as Jungkook’s strokes sped up. Taehyung whined when Jungkook
combed his fingers through Taehyung’s locks, tugging his head upwards. Their eyes met and
Taehyung opened his mouth on a shaky exhale.

He whined when Jungkook’s cock touched his lips, Jungkook rubbing it on his lower lip while
maintaining the eye-contact.

Taehyung’s tongue came out to lick at the head of Jungkook’s cock, tasting the pre-cum smeared
there.

“Eager,” Jungkook observed, “show me how eager you are.”

Taehyung squirmed closer to take the head of Jungkook’s cock in his mouth, sucking it lightly.
Jungkook watched, his expression impassive. He slid down on Jungkook’s cock, throat squeezing
the girth in his mouth.

Taehyung started bobbing his head, taking in as much of Jungkook as he could. Taehyung could
smell the musky scent of the skin, mixing with his saliva and pre-cum. The tangible taste on his
tongue making his own arousal flare. Taehyung opened his mouth as much as he could, not
protesting when Jungkook gave a little nudge at the back of his head to glide his head down lower.
Taehyung made sure to keep his tongue flat as Jungkook kept gliding his cock into the cavern of
his mouth.

“Tap my thigh if you want me to stop,” Jungkook said, waiting until Taehyung nodded.

The next glide was rough. Taehyung tried to relax his throat as much as he could but Jungkook
didn’t let on. He held Taehyung’s head still as he fucked into his mouth, shoving in as much as he
could before pulling out.

The head of Jungkook’s cock was hitting the back of Taehyung’s throat, his gag reflex acting up.
Taehyung coughed around the girth, gaining a grunt from Jungkook before Jungkook was pulling
out.

Taehyung squirmed when he felt saliva, added with pre-cum leaking out of the corner of his
mouth, dropping on his thighs. He closed his eyes when Jungkook fucked in again, this time
staying lodged in Taehyung’s throat.

Taehyung tried to breathe through his nostrils, eyes tearing up. He coughed when Jungkook pulled
back all the way, holding the dick in front of his face and waiting for Taehyung to take in a few
deep breaths.

“Look at you chocking on me,” Jungkook snorted, “so much for being a slut. You can’t even suck
me properly. At least let me fuck you. Be quiet.”

Taehyung couldn’t answer. Jungkook slapped his face with his cock, spreading the mess of saliva
and cum on Taehyung’s lips, chin and cheeks.

“This mouth is useless,” Jungkook said, “did you say you want me to call you whore? Are you
even qualified enough to be called that?”

Taehyung whined when he was tugged back, Jungkook’s dick back in his mouth.

“All this mouth can do is kiss random guys,” Jungkook stood up then, pressing Taehyung’s face
closer with his dick shoved down Taehyung’s throat, “uselessly taken by men who shouldn’t even
be near it.”

Taehyung whined, feeling the way Jungkook fucked into his mouth. The thrusts were strong this
time. Jungkook’s hands were clutching at his hair and keeping his head still while his cock
slammed in and out of Taehyung’s mouth. Jungkook’s hips snapping quickly. The glide was
smooth on Taehyung’s tongue, giving him less time to suck. Taehyung tried hard not to gag, choke
when the head of Jungkook’s cock reached the back of his throat. Jungkook was relentless. The
speed escalated and at this point, Taehyung was just sitting there with his mouth wide open.
Accepting whatever Jungkook gave him.

“Look at me,” Jungkook tugged at his hair, holding the base of his cock to smear a few drops of
cum on Taehyung’s lips, coating them, “tell me who is fucking your mouth raw?”

“You,” Taehyung coughed, putting his tongue out to catch the drops on it, showing it to Jungkook,
“you are fucking my mouth raw.”

Jungkook tugged him back, thrusting his dick right down till it hit the back of Taehyung’s throat in
one go. Taehyung felt the way his throat contorted around Jungkook’s cock and Jungkook moaned,
thrusting back and forth for a few more times before he pulled out.

“I want to cum in your mouth,” Jungkook said, as if talking to himself, “wipe away that guy’s
touch, but then… I don’t think you deserve that. Not after you were letting someone suck your
mouth off like that.”

“We didn’t even kiss that long,” Taehyung whined, instinctively reaching out, “please, Jungkook.
Elijah…” the tug on his hair made him wince. Taehyung whined, blinking back tears when he
glared up at Jungkook.

“Don’t take his name,” Jungkook hissed, “not when you have my cum all over your face.”

“Then cum in my mouth,” Taehyung glowered back, “as you said, make sure all I remember from
tonight is how you fucked my mouth.”

Jungkook groaned, stroking himself fast as he looked down at Taehyung. Taehyung opened his
mouth wide, tongue coming out, and waiting. His eyes were on Jungkook’s, their eyes locked on
each other.

“Come now, Jungkook,” Taehyung whispered, “let me swallow your cum.”

 Jungkook grunted, bowing his head with his brows furrowed. Sweat was ticking down the sides of
his temple. The shirt was wrinkled and haphazardly open to show off his abs, skin shining with
sweat.

Taehyung mewled deep in his throat when the first rope of cum hit his tongue. He kept his eyes on
Jungkook and let his tongue catch the warm substance. Jungkook’s cum hit his cheeks next,
smearing across his mouth, dripping down the side of his throat and Taehyung waited. Until every
drop was squeezed out and Jungkook was panting over him.

Taehyung swallowed then, keeping his eyes fixed on Jungkook who was watching him. Jungkook
wiped at his chin, placing the fingers in his mouth for Taehyung to suck.

“Come here, fuck,” Jungkook cursed when Taehyung’s tongue wrapped around his finger, licking
and sucking it clean.

Taehyung was pulled up into Jungkook’s arms. He whined when Jungkook kissed him, tasting
himself and letting out a growl of satisfaction.

“Can you go again?” Taehyung asked, unbuttoning the last few buttons of Jungkook’s shirt and
shoving it away from his shoulder, “kind of want you to fuck me on the bed.”

Jungkook started walking, Taehyung secured tightly in his arms, “I am not done with you either,
babe.”

..

===&=&===

Chapter End Notes

More TAEKOOK/YOONMIN AUs - HERE

 { Feels like a river's rushing through my mind }
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Thank you, @Compassedship_ for the edit. I loved it and used it everywhere. lol
“You were really walking around with packets of lube and condoms?” Taehyung asked, laughing
when he saw Jungkook come back to the bedroom with the condoms and sashes of lube.

Jungkook shrugged, “I was going to fuck you today. Had to be prepared.”

Taehyung rolled on the bed, nuzzling in the softness of the pillows while he felt Jungkook’s eyes
on him. He hummed, turning on his back and watching Jungkook with raised brows.

“Give me the lube. I need to prep myself,” Taehyung reached out for the lube, frowning when
Jungkook pulled the pack out of his reach.

“I want to do it,” Jungkook said, “let me.”

Taehyung cocked his head sideways with a confused expression, “you have never done it. Are you
sure?”

Jungkook nodded, “yeah. I want to. Can I?”

“Fine,” Taehyung nodded, “how do you want me? On my hands and knees, face into the mattress
with my ass up…”

“On your back,” Jungkook said, pointing at the pillows, “facing me.”

Taehyung went silently, laying down and watching Jungkook. Jungkook watched the packet with
furrowed brows. As if he didn’t know what to do with it.

“Tear it open,” Taehyung tugged at his cock leisurely, shuddering at the feeling, “make sure you
don’t make a mess on your fingers. It’s cold, warm it up first.”

Jungkook looked over at Taehyung, eyes roaming over Taehyung’s naked body. Taehyung preened
under the attention, legs falling apart to give a show. He looked back at Jungkook, taking in the
way Jungkook’s muscles contorted on his arms while he moved. Taehyung tugged at himself with
a whine when Jungkook sat on his knees, abdomen muscles flexing. Taehyung wanted to touch. He
didn’t want to voice that thought though. So his left hand caressed his own chest, twisting his
nipple and moaning when he saw the way Jungkook’s jaw clenched.

“Hands away from your body,” Jungkook said, ripping the packet open, “don’t touch yourself.”

Taehyung wanted to protest but his voice died in his throat when he watched Jungkook coating his
fingers with the sticky substance. He placed his arms above his head, fingers curling around the
patterned headrest. Taehyung arched his back off the bed, mentally preening when Jungkook’s
eyes slid over his body. That expression gave nothing away but Taehyung could see Jungkook
hardening. A smirk crossed his lips.

Jungkook placed the packet on Taehyung’s belly, ignoring the protest Taehyung voiced about it
leaking out and being cold.
Taehyung watched Jungkook hovering over him, leaning down slowly to capture Taehyung’s lips
in a kiss. Taehyung hummed in appreciation, arms coming around Jungkook’s neck to feel the
muscles right under his touch.

“What did I say about keeping your hands away from your body?” Jungkook whispered against his
lips, lowering himself between Taehyung’s parted thighs. Taehyung let his legs fall apart, feeling
the sudden press of another body against his.

“If you think I won’t touch you while you prep me then you are heavily mistaken,” Taehyung
smirked, “you might hate to know I am a very demanding person in bed.”

Jungkook’s lips curved, eyes shining with mirth as he raised his brows, “just in bed?”

Taehyung’s breath hitched when he felt Jungkook’s finger on his rim, rubbing leisurely. He
hummed, carding his fingers through Jungkook’s hair to pull him down for another kiss.
Goosebumps rose on his skin when Jungkook let the finger probe in, just a little.

“Have you ever fingered yourself?” Taehyung asked between their kiss, pulling away slightly to
look at Jungkook.

“No,” Jungkook’s brows furrowed, “not to myself. I fingered some girls though.”

“In the ass?” Taehyung laughed at Jungkook’s expression, “I take it as a no. The first rule, go slow.
You have to be thorough. Make sure your partner is feeling pleasure. Go a little more in.”

Jungkook nodded, pressing in till his knuckles. Taehyung hummed, biting down on his lower lip.

“Have you fingered yourself?” Jungkook asked, his weight supported on his left elbow so that he
could look down at Taehyung.

“I have fucked myself with dildos. Had buttplugs up my ass,” Taehyung groaned, “so fingers are
kinda… given.”

Jungkook dipped then, teeth scraping against Taehyung’s skin, “fuck! You are so…”

“Blunt?” Taehyung grunted out a snort, “I know. Nothing to be ashamed of or coy about.”

He swatted at Jungkook’s back, “don’t leave marks where others can see. How many times do I
have to tell you that?”

Jungkook went down, lips gliding over Taehyung’s skin. Taehyung watched Jungkook kissing his
way down, mouthing at the heated skin.

“How sensitive are you here?” Jungkook asked, looking at Taehyung while his breath ghosted over
Taehyung’s nipple.

“No one really wasted their time on my flat chest before,” Taehyung rolled his eyes, “it’s not like I
have boobs or…” he sucked in a sharp breath when he felt Jungkook dipping to suck on his nipple.

Taehyung let out a moan, feeling Jungkook’s finger move in him while his mouth parted over
Taehyung’s chest. He had never really thought a lot about nipple-plays. His head twisted side by
side while Jungkook bit down on his nipple, tugging, before lapping at the irritated peak. His
finger came out of Taehyung with a pop.

“Coat another finger,” Taehyung gasped out, “give me two.”

“Bossy,” Jungkook muttered against his chest, coating another finger anyway. Taehyung’s hands
caressed Jungkook’s neck, looking down to see Jungkook watching him back. Their eyes locked
while Jungkook pushed two fingers in him, probing.

“Criss-cross them,” Taehyung jerked, feeling his muscles press down on the sudden intrusion, “no,
fuck! Not so fast, Jungkook! Slowly. Let me adjust!”

Jungkook hummed, sucking at Taehyung’s nipple before coming up to cover Taehyung with his
whole body. His hand worked relentlessly. Pushing, probing and crossing to relax Taehyung’s
inner muscles.

Taehyung welcomed the next kiss, “fuck!”

Jungkook looked down at him, brows furrowed in confusion.

Taehyung whined, moisture prickling his eyelashes, “hit there. That spot you just did. Right there.
Jungkook…”

Jungkook obeyed, hitting the soft bundle of nerve with the tip of his fingers. Taehyung curled his
toes, legs strung stiff with arousal coursing through him. His arms tightened around Jungkook as he
whined.

“Fuck me with your fingers,” he looked back at Jungkook, “add another and fuck me. Make it fast.
Try to hit that…”

His voice was lost when Jungkook probed his prostate again, grazing it with his middle finger.
Taehyung could feel the tears rolling out of his eyes. He wanted to buck up but Jungkook was
pressing down on him. He started rutting against Jungkook, feeling the press of his body against
his dick.

“Enough,” he whimpered, pushing at Jungkook’s chest, “fuck me. I am ready.”

“Are you sure?” Jungkook pulled away, sitting back on his knees, “are you ready, really?”

“Either you fuck me or I will ride you,” Taehyung glared, wiping at his eyes, “choose.”

Jungkook didn’t give him any verbal answer. He went for the condom. Taehyung watched him roll
it on his cock before lathering himself with the lube. Jungkook gave himself a few quick strokes
before coming to hover over Taehyung.

Taehyung’s arms rested on Jungkook’s shoulders, caressing the muscles there. He closed his eyes
when he felt the tip of Jungkook’s dick against his rim. Ready to penetrate.

“Look at me,” Jungkook said, voice tight with arousal, “look at me, Taehyung.”

Suddenly Taehyung didn’t want to. It was good. The arousal, the anticipation. The pleasure. Yet
suddenly Taehyung didn’t want to confirm the thought that Jungkook could bring all these things
to him. Taehyung didn’t want to see Jungkook in the eyes when he penetrated him. He was scared
again. Of Jungkook seeing his emotions bare on Taehyung’s face. He was scared of this moment
getting solidified when their eyes met. Taehyung didn’t want to memorize the look on Jungkook’s
face when he was aroused. He didn’t want his mind to store away the image of them like this,
physical needs blending with feelings in such a primal way.

“Just do it,” Taehyung gritted out, trying to squirm down towards the tip of Jungkook’s cock,
“don’t waste time.”
“Look at me,” Jungkook said, voice rough, “let me see you.”

“I am fucking naked underneath you,” Taehyung turned to face Jungkook sharply, “laying
completely bare for you,” he glared at Jungkook, “how much more do you ne…”

A keen whimper was pulled out of him when Jungkook entered him. The tip of his cock pressing
against Taehyung’s rim before Jungkook pushed in. Taehyung’s fingers clutched at Jungkook’s
shoulders, nails pressing down.

“Fuck, Jungkook,” Taehyung gasped for air, “it’s… oh, God!”

Jungkook was still pressing in, slowly filling him up until his thighs touched the back of
Taehyung’s ass.

“Shit,” Jungkook hissed, “you are fucking tight!”

“That’s an ass for you,” Taehyung hissed back, nails digging on Jungkook’s back, “they are tighter
than pussy.”

“Stop talking!” Jungkook bit down on his neck, ignoring the protests Taehyung let out, “stop being
so mouthy.”

“Don’t move!” Taehyung let his legs cross against Jungkook’s waist, pushing down at Jungkook’s
butt when Jungkook tried to pull away, “give me some time.”

Jungkook hummed, kissing the side of Taehyung’s neck and cheek. Taehyung tried to control his
breathing, relaxing his inner muscles. Jungkook was more than average, his girth almost knocking
the air out of Taehyung. Taehyung could feel the way it stretched his rim, filling him up until
Taehyung was left immobile. Any movement would cause pain. Taehyung rubbed his hands on
Jungkook’s back, feeling the sweat under his touch. His own sweat was rolling off his hair, back
sticking with the mattress.

“I want to pound you,” Jungkook whispered against his ear, biting at the earlobe, “so fast and
hard.”

Taehyung let his nails skim through that sweaty back, feeling the hiss against his ear when
Jungkook flinched. Taehyung knew he was leaving marks and Taehyung loved it. He let his nails
damage the smooth skin, teeth biting down on Jungkook’s shoulder.

“Are you sure you can do that, babe?” he almost mouthed those words against Jungkook’s ear,
“because you are so novice and I have had bette…”

The drag was slow, Jungkook pulled out of him. He pulled away a little to look at Taehyung.
Taehyung looked back, smirk clear on his face. It was wiped off his face when Jungkook slammed
back, grabbing Taehyung’s wrists in his grip.

Taehyung cursed loudly when Jungkook hit his prostate on the first try, aiming at it again. The
way Jungkook moved was maddening. He pulled out slowly and waited, making Taehyung
anticipate, before slamming right in till the hilt. Every thrust shoving Taehyung up towards the
headrest.

Taehyung let out a breath, tightening his core muscles when Jungkook found the tempo.

His eyes watered. Jungkook was looking down at him, on his knees and fucking right into
Taehyung as Taehyung laid there, just taking it.
Their eyes found each other. Jungkook’s hair a mess, sweat dripping down his body as he snapped
his hips relentlessly. Taehyung wanted to touch those locks, tug at them. When he reached out
silently, Jungkook held his palms. Taehyung watched how Jungkook interlaced their fingers before
leaning down. Jungkook placed their laced arms beside Taehyung’s head, chest pressed against
Taehyung while he fucked into him.

Taehyung’s fingers were clutched in Jungkook’s and moved over his head while Jungkook started
building up the speed. Taehyung heard the slap of skin against the skin when Jungkook moved. He
could feel Jungkook’s cock in him, moving, thrusting deep and deeper.

“How do you still look so gorgeous?” Jungkook mouthed those words against Taehyung’s neck,
“fuck. You smell so good. Even this sweaty. You…”

Taehyung shook his head, trying to free his hands from Jungkook’s, “stop talking shit!”

“I wanted to do this since evening,” Jungkook snapped in, with so much force Taehyung let out a
cry, “I wanted to fuck you when you walked into the lounge looking so gorgeous.”

Taehyung whimpered, watching how Jungkook mouthed at the chain he still wore around his neck.

“I wanted to drag you off and pound you as you deserved for wearing this fucking choker!”
Jungkook’s thrusts were relentless.

Taehyung was crying at this point, eyes hazy and mind going numb. All he could focus on was the
way Jungkook pounded into him and the words that came out of Jungkook’s mouth.

Heat coiled in his stomach, pulling at his muscles. Taehyung could feel his arousal spiking his skin
with goosebumps. His dick was straining between them. He whimpered at the feel of Jungkook’s
cock rubbing at the inner walls of him.

“I wanted to fuck you on that bar-counter,” Jungkook let go of Taehyung’s hands, arms cupping
Taehyung’s face to kiss him, “in front of everyone so they knew…”

Taehyung cried out when Jungkook’s one hand reached between them, tugging at him sharply,
“that you were not there for them. I wanted to fuck you right there against the bar.”

“I would have liked that,” Taehyung whispered, blinking fast to let his vision sharpen, “I would
have been all spread on the counter.”

Jungkook looked down at him, “you would have loved that, huh? Me fucking you against the
counter? For that bitch to see?”

“He could have joined,” Taehyung tried to sound nonchalant, “I would have sucked him off as you
fucked me.”

The next thrust was vicious, Jungkook pulled back then, looking down at Taehyung. Taehyung let
Jungkook grab his ankles. Jungkook pushed them down until Taehyung was almost bent in half
with Jungkook pounding into him.

“You are such a slut,” Jungkook hissed, slapping the side of Taehyung’s thigh, “still thinking about
him while I fuck you?”

Taehyung held the back of his knees, eyes matching Jungkook’s glaring one, “you are not making
an effort to make me forget him.”
A laugh bubbled out of him when the next slap came. Taehyung whined, biting down on his lips,
feeling Jungkook reach for his dick. The tugs were furious, so were the thrusts. Jungkook was
close. Taehyung was closer.

With a flick of his wrist, Jungkook made Taehyung come. Taehyung arched off the bed,
whimpering and sobbing almost. Jungkook let his legs fall then, coming down to brace himself
with his elbows beside Taehyung’s head.

Taehyung squeezed his eyes shut at the oversensitivity, feeling the way Jungkook moved in him
with more vigour now.

It was too much. The pleasure building and the pain intensifying because of his sensitiveness.
Taehyung let his tired body be used, his arms coming around Jungkook. Jungkook was letting out
grunts, pistoling into him. Taehyung combed those sweaty locks away from Jungkook’s face,
watching him. Jungkook was tensed, jaw clenched and eyes hard.

“You are the only one I wanted to fuck me like this,” Taehyung let his heart take the control of his
mouth for the first time since the evening, eyes roaming over that face he adored so much.

A smile, wobbly and tired, bloomed on his face when Jungkook’s eyes found his. Taehyung
nodded, fingers clutching at the base of Jungkook’s hair, feeling the way Jungkook’s hips faltered,
the thrusts losing the tempo.

“No one else,” Taehyung plastered those words against Jungkook’s cheek, his lips, “I am not
thinking of anyone else. Only you.”

Jungkook was watching him. Brows furrowing when Taehyung smiled up at him.

Taehyung couldn’t smile anymore. Tears were brimming his eyes when he realized all these sex
talks were his only way of confessing how he felt. So that both of them could brush it off as sex-
talk. Nothing more. He wasn’t sure how he could do that with tears rolling out of his eyes though.

So he pulled Jungkook down, hiding his face against the crook of his neck while Taehyung looked
up at the ceiling.

“Only you,” Taehyung murmured against Jungkook’s shoulder, “I want only you.”

Jungkook came then, in him, shuddering and murmuring his name with a last deep thrust.
Taehyung closed his eyes, arms wrapped around Jungkook. He wiped at his eyes discreetly, letting
Jungkook catch his breath.

When Jungkook pulled away, Taehyung hissed, feeling the way his rim resisted before Jungkook
was fully out of him. He rolled away, hiding his face against the pillows while he listened to
Jungkook throwing the condom in the trashcan and stepping out of the bed.

Suddenly the bed was too big. Too cold. Taehyung curled in on himself. He ignored the sticky
mess on his stomach or how sweaty he was while he tried to calm his beating heart.

Taehyung almost flinched when he felt arms tugging him back. He turned back to look. Jungkook
wiped him, cleaning up the mess on Taehyung before throwing the washcloth away. He placed his
knees on the mattress, getting on the bed before laying down.

Taehyung couldn’t say anything when Jungkook pulled him closer to rest on his chest. He just
went. Jungkook pulled the duvet on them, laying on his back with Taehyung secured in his arm.
“We should go,” Taehyung said when Jungkook started lazily kiss his face. He tried to pull away
when those lips neared his own.

“Where?” Jungkook asked, frowning, “the way Jin hyung and Namjoon hyung were talking, I
think they will be busy. You don’t want to walk in on them.”

“I…” Taehyung had nothing to say against that. He just wanted to go. He looked down at where
Jungkook held him. The arm felt too warm against his cooling skin. Taehyung was stiff. He looked
up to see Jungkook looking down at him.

“Just sleep, Tae,” Jungkook smiled, “I am tired. So are you. Come on.”

Taehyung rolled away then. If he was going to sleep then he was not going to do it in Jungkook’s
arms.

Leaving would be easier if the warmth wasn’t so encompassing.

===&=&===

“Jiminie,” Yoongi nudged the boy in his bed, “drink this water before sleeping. Otherwise, you
will have the meanest hangover tomorrow.”

Jimin whined, lips jutting out, “don’t wake me up, hyung.”

Yoongi chuckled when Jimin’s arms tightened around him, pulling him closer.

“You are awake, Jiminie,” Yoongi made sure to pull the boy closer to his chest while he sat on the
bed, “drink this and then go to sleep.”

“Don’t wake me up,” Jimin mumbled, face tucked under Yoongi’s chin, “never wake me up…”

Yoongi looked down at the boy. Jimin smelt of alcohol. Yoongi had undressed him, making Jimin
change into fresh clothes provided by him. Jimin was now safely tucked into his bed because
Hoseok had someone in their room and Yoongi was sure when Jungkook returned he would like to
sleep on his bed, undisturbed.

“Why don’t you want to wake up, Jiminie?” Yoongi rubbed the boy’s arm, fondly looking down at
him when Jimin’s eyelids flapped open. Through those slits, Yoongi could see the way Jimin
looked at him. Full of awe and… sadness.

“Because,” Jimin slurred, trying to keep his eyes trained on Yoongi’s face, “because when I wake
up, you leave,” Jimin’s lips touched Yoongi’s jawline, mouthing those words against Yoongi’s
skin, “always.”

Those words hung between them. Yoongi looked at Jimin and Jimin looked back. Yoongi couldn’t
understand what those words meant.

“Jiminie…” Yoongi murmured, uncertain if Jimin realized who he was talking to. The thought that
Jimin was not recognizing him and talking about someone else made Yoongi itch. He held the
glass against Jimin’s lips, tilting it until Jimin got the hint and started slurping. Yoongi held on
until Jimin finished the water before placing it back on the bedside table. He slowly wrapped Jimin
in the duvet and made him lie down on his side.

“Stay,” Jimin whispered, hand clutching at Yoongi’s jacket, “hyung…”

Yoongi hummed, “I will. I am here, Jiminie. I am here. If you mean me then I am right here.”

Jimin nuzzled closer, his clutch so tight Yoongi couldn’t move, “don’t leave when I…”

Yoongi leaned down, lips hovering over Jimin’s forehead before he pulled back. He sat with his
back resting against the headrest.

“I won’t, Jiminie, I can’t.”

.
.

“Do you see the trail?

Those shiny pieces that gleam?
Those are the pieces of me, shattered,
I am leaving behind…
In hopes that you would come,
Following my broken pieces
To find me…
When I stand empty, all my lustrous pieces gone…
I want you to find me in that darkness
Through those pieces, I am leaving behind.
But I am scared that you won’t search for me,
Why would you when I am void of everything now?
When you are the complete vision and I am just broken pieces…
But if you do, find me because I am waiting
And I will wait forever for you.
Find me in those abandoned pieces of me
That I left behind.
I am waiting, my love,
In hopes that you will search for me
When I am gone…”

Yoongi looked down at his diary, pen pressed against the last dot, spreading ink through the paper.
He sighed, looking back at where Jimin was sleeping. Jimin had his arms around Yoongi’s waist,
face hidden against Yoongi’s leg while Yoongi sat, still against the headboard.

Yoongi didn’t know how or when that bubbly boy from Busan had become his muse, dominating
his thoughts and spreading through his heart while bleeding out on these pages in the form of
words. Words that hurt Yoongi, words so honest and brutal, Yoongi hid them between pages.
Scared of his own creation.

He closed the diary, frustrated at himself for not being able to write something poppy. Like the
ones their company wanted him to write. Something people can dance on or bob their heads with.
Something upbeat. Not so depressing. Not something so honest it felt like Yoongi was standing in
front of the listener, bare and vulnerable for them to pick from.

These songs were going to be in his mixtape. Whenever he released the next one. A sardonic smile
crossed Yoongi’s lips when he recalled how he had promised himself that his next mixtape would
be about finding happiness. Solace. He would write about love that completed him, made him
happy. He had promised himself that he would write about hope, finding it after the struggles his
last two mixtapes showed.
Yet all these songs were anything but that. Yoongi titled his head back, trying to cry.

It helped. His psychiatrist had told him crying was not a bad thing and he should cry. Let those
emotions spill out of him. It was supposed to lighten the weight he seemed to carry around all the
time.

How was Yoongi supposed to tell the woman that he couldn’t cry? Tears didn’t really come to him
anymore. Yoongi was pathetic, he had pathetically tried to cry. He had sat in his studio while
recalling his every failure so that a single tear would come out of him.

It didn’t.

His insides felt like a desert, where rain never visited. Tears were a blessing he didn’t have
anymore.

“Hyung,” Jimin mumbled, squirming on his spot, arms clutching at Yoongi, “stay…”

Yoongi didn’t know who that hyung was. He supposed it was that choreographer. He wanted to
find that guy and ask him how he got Jimin so wrapped around his finger that the boy didn’t even
forget him in his sleep. What was he doing right? What was Yoongi doing wrong?

A hollow chuckle left his lips. That guy was probably not an empty shell of a human, like Yoongi.
That guy was probably the warmth and security Jimin searched in a person. Which Yoongi wasn’t.
Yoongi was this darkness, abyss, where people got lost. Where no one fell willingly. No one
embraced him willingly.

“I am here,” he mumbled, lying down to pull Jimin to his chest, “I am here, Jiminie,” Yoongi let
his voice waver, “even if it’s not me you want, I am right here.”

Jimin was fast asleep. Yet he whined, squirming so close to Yoongi that Yoongi could feel his
breathing against his neck.

“You…” Jimin mumbled again, brows furrowing, “don’t leave. Dream… if this, dream…” a sigh
escaped him, his lashes glistening, “if dream… don’t wake… me.”

Yoongi hummed, wrapping his arms around Jimin.

He wished everything was a fevered dream for him too. Yoongi looked through the window at the
starless sky. If wishes came true, he wished for that person to stay. With Jimin. Whom Jimin
remembered, even in his drunken slumber.

===&=&===

“Did you bring your passport?”

Namjoon glared at Hoseok while speed-walking through the airport. Taehyung hid his grin behind
his mask, eyes finding Jin who was doing the same.

“Seriously, it’s better if you check now,” Hoseok was almost flying through the crowd to keep up
with Namjoon, hand clutching at Namjoon’s elbow, “it’s a hassle if you didn’t and we have to…”

“He packed it,” Jin broke in, patting Hoseok’s shoulder to calm him, “I made sure he packed it.
Don’t worry. We are good.”

“What would you do if Jin hyung stops fretting over you?” Taehyung asked, seriously curious,
“you are lost without him!”

“He is like a toddler, to be honest,” Jin said, pulling the hat down on his head to cover his eyes, “I
had to pack his bags for him! Such a baby!”

“That’s not what you called me last night,” Namjoon smirked, pulling Jin between his arms to
make sure no one collided against him, “who is taking care of whom now?”

Taehyung laughed, shaking his head and frowning when flashes caught his eyes. He squinted his
eyes at the flashes of the cameras. The shouts of fans and reporters. He was pressed between
securities and yet he felt the hands grabbing at him time to time, trying to gain his attention.

Taehyung looked up, trying to suck in a breath when the guards pressed closer to him. It wasn’t
their fault. They were few compared to the mob around the boys. Taehyung whined when he felt
someone clutch at his wrist, nails digging in his skin. It scratched, pulling him and almost making
him topple when one of the guards tried to free his arm with a jerk.

There was a practised twist and his arm was freed. When he looked back, Yoongi didn’t match his
eyes. Those eyes were tired and that jaw was set. Yoongi was frustrated. Taehyung felt arms
around him, creating a barricade when Yoongi pressed against his back.

“Hyung is here,” Yoongi mumbled, low for the crowd to hear but high for Taehyung to understand,
“don’t worry.”

Taehyung nodded, looking forward to make sure he didn’t lose the others.

In front of him was Namjoon, singlehandedly barricading Jin and Hoseok. At the front of them,
were Jungkook and Jimin. Taehyung could see the way Jungkook had his arms wrapped around
Jimin, shouldering through the crowd. Their steps were hurried, moving as fast as the guards
created a path.

“The only thing about being an idol I hate,” Yoongi muttered against Taehyung’s back, “fame.”

Taehyung understood the feeling yet as he looked around, he couldn’t be angry. These were their
fans. They waited for hours to just see them. Just a glimpse of them. Sometimes Taehyung didn’t
even understand what he did to deserve so much love. Not only from their country but all around
the world. He smiled, waving, before guards ushered them into the airport waiting room where no
one was allowed to disturb them.

“Are you fine?” Jungkook was looking at Jimin worriedly, hands roaming over Jimin’s arms and
eyes moving frantically, “did they get you?”

Jimin smiled, shaking his head, “no, kookie. You were like a koala out there, hovering over me
through the mob. Thank you.”

Jungkook let out an audible sigh, “thank God!”

His eyes moved then, finding Taehyung. Taehyung closed his eyes, still panting against the door.

The boys scattered around the waiting room. Jimin went to sit beside Jin, closing his eyes while his
head rested against that broad shoulder.

Yoongi went to the washroom. Namjoon left for a store he claimed sold the best chocolates,
Hoseok following him in case he got lost.
Taehyung went to the corner table, placing his bag and pulling out the first-aid kit he carried with
him nowadays. For situations like these.

He pulled his sleeve up to see the cut. It was red, tearing the skin with a hint of blood to the
surface. The burning intensified when Taehyung wiped it with the antiseptic liquid. A hiss left his
mouth, watching the skin peel under the cotton. He threw the cotton in the bin before rummaging
through his kit for a band-aid.

“It bruised!”

Taehyung hummed, finding a band-aid and opening it to close the wound.

“These are fingerprints, Tae!” Jungkook sounded astonished, “how hard was the grip?!”

Taehyung chuckled, “that’s you, idiot. The scratches are from the fans.”

“What?” Jungkook looked perplexed, eyeing the brownish mark of fingers around Taehyung’s
wrist.

“I did it?” Jungkook sounded confused.

“Last night,” Taehyung lowered his voice, putting his kit away in his bag and not meeting
Jungkook’s eyes, “your grip caused that.”

“Oh,” Jungkook sounded breathy, winded. Taehyung hummed, zipping his bag before he glanced
at where Jimin was fast asleep against Jin.

“I bruise easily,” Taehyung muttered, “so now I am bruised all over. You didn’t notice?”

“How could I when you left before I woke up?” Jungkook’s hand grasped Taehyung’s elbow, “you
could have stayed.”

Taehyung kept his eyes focused on Jimin, “waking up with a hookup is not something I do,
Jungkook. We were done. I had nothing to stay for.”

“We are friends,” Jungkook pressed in then, tugging at Taehyung until he faced Jungkook, “that
should have made you stay.”

Taehyung looked at Jungkook, nodding, “that’s what made me flee instead.”

Jungkook probably wanted to say something but Yoongi came back. He was holding out a packet
of chips.

“Chips?” Yoongi asked, stepping between the two of them. Taehyung nodded, thanking Yoongi
mentally for cutting in.

===&=&===

“BTS in the Soop season2.”

They all glanced at each other and back at the manager with confused looks on their faces.

The manager sighed, pointing at the files in front of them, “It will be shot for a week this time.
Away from Korea. You all will go to Bora-Bora. Now that TXT is on tour and BTS is free for a
few months, we are thinking of giving you all a vacation.”
“A vacation where cameras follow us 24*7,” Yoongi leaned back against the chair with a sardonic
smirk, “sure.”

“Where you go to a peaceful place,” Doyun, the manager, ignored Yoongi’s jab with a pointed
look, “be on your own for a week. Do whatever you want.”

“Within means,” Namjoon added, rolling his eyes, “yeah.”

“It will be beneficial for both parties,” Doyun shrugged, “your album is not even near to the finish
line. We don’t have any shows booked for you all. It’s the right time.”

“But where is Sungho,” Jimin leaned closer, arms on the table and eyes on the manager, “is he not
back yet?”

“No,” Doyun shook his head, “we decided to send him for TXT’s Europe leg too.”

Jimin’s eyes widened. He looked at the manager and back at Yoongi who was already looking at
him.

“Is there a problem?” Namjoon asked Jimin, frowning, “Why do you look so worried?”

“He wanted to learn a few moves from him,” Yoongi stepped in, “told me how he wants to show
him something about a choreography he felt uncomfortable doing, right, Jiminie?”

Jimin nodded, looking distort, “ye-yeah. I…”

“You can show me,” Hoseok leaned in, interest piqued, “what move?”

Jimin looked at Yoongi, eyes pleading.

Yoongi sighed, “can we focus on this meeting first? The choreography can wait.”

“We just got back from Dubai,” Jin wailed, shoulders hunched, “just two days ago. Now off to
Bora-Bora. When are we leaving?”

“The day after tomorrow,” Doyun at least sounded sorry for them, “you will leave for Tahiti. We
have booked the next plane to Bora-Bora from there. It will take you to the island of Bora-Bora.
We have booked everything you might need to explore the island. We booked the Royal Resort
which has beach villas. You will be secluded and no one will disturb you. It has those over-water
huts,” Doyun pointed at the screen behind himself for everyone to see as the projector reflected
photos across the screen, “You can stay at the sea-huts but we preferred a bungalow for privacy
reasons. The sea is a few feet away. The resort has its private beach and the bungalow has its own
too. This bungalow has mini pools attached to each room. You don’t have to leave the bungalow
for anything. We will book guides to take you places. Okay?”

Namjoon looked at the members, raising his brows. They knew they had no say in it. Still, they
appreciated how Namjoon asked them before agreeing. Everyone nodded, heaving a sigh.

At least it was going to be a holiday. Kind of.

“Anything you want to ask?” Doyun flipped through the file in front of him, “everything is written
in the files in front of you. You can read through it. If you need anything or have questions, call
me.”

They pulled the files closer, leaving the meeting room with tired steps.
“Taehyung will make dinner tonight,” Jin announced, “I am spent and apparently he is great at
making pasta nowadays.”

“Oh, God, we will starve tonight,” Hoseok said, completely ignoring the swat Taehyung delivered
on his back.

“There’s always takeout menus we can root for,” Yoongi said, marching away with a giggling
Jimin right behind him.

“I trust Tae to make the best pasta we have ever had,” Namjoon patted Taehyung’s back, earning a
grin from the younger.

“Whatever he makes, we eat it,” Jungkook grasped Jin’s elbow, walking along with him, “stop
teasing him!”

“Right!” Jin nodded.

“You will never forget the taste,” Taehyung said, triumphantly holding onto Namjoon.

“Oh, God!” Hoseok sighed.

===&=&===

Taehyung looked at the water in the pot. It was yet to boil. He sighed, tapping his foot against the
tiles while he waited.

He rested his hip against the counter, scrolling through his phone while waiting for the water to
boil. Jin had made everything except the pasta. It was left for Taehyung as he had bragged about
learning it to perfection. He typed a message out for one of his friends who was asking him if he
was free for a drink.

“How come the water is not boiling yet?” Jimin waltzed into the kitchen.

Taehyung shrugged, looking back at the oven where the pot was, “sometime soon, I hope.”

Jimin pursed his lips, peeking into the pot, “maybe you should put some salt in it for the water to
boil fast?”

“Is that legit?” Taehyung asked, reaching for the salt anyway, “are you sure?”

Jimin nodded, “I have seen Yoongi hyung put salt in the water.”

“For pasta?” Taehyung opened the container, taking a spoonful of salt, “are you sure?”

“Yoongi hyung,” Jimin shouted over his shoulder, making Taehyung jump, “can you come here?”

Yoongi didn’t answer. He just walked into the kitchen with a raised brow.

“Do you put salt in the water while boiling the pasta?” Taehyung asked, “I haven’t seen it but Jimin
had apparently.”

Yoongi nodded, standing beside Jimin with his arm on Jimin’s shoulder, “yes. You need to put salt
in the water.”

“See!” Jimin looked triumphant, “I knew I have seen him put salt in the water.”
Yoongi hummed, caressing Jimin’s shoulder, “you do lurk around when I cook.”

“You look sexy when you cook,” Jimin nudged Yoongi with his shoulder, “have anyone ever told
you?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, coming around the counter to nudge Taehyung away, “take that mouthy
brat away from me. I will cook it for you.”

“I am cooking, no,” Taehyung protested, “you take this mouthy brat away with you. I will cook. I
promised Jin hyung that I can cook.”

Yoongi looked at the vegetables, “you need to chop them. I will help you with that, Tae, otherwise
it will be forever.”

“I can help wash the veggies,” Jimin rolled his sleeves up too, coming around the counter to stand
beside Yoongi, “let’s help you.”

“When did I ever ask for help?” Taehyung asked, tentatively giving Yoongi the approval with a
nod.

Yoongi started chopping the vegetables. Jimin was just there, lingering by Yoongi’s side and
watching the older work mutely.

Taehyung pulled out the pasta from the packet, throwing it in the pot.

“How do you look this sexy while chopping onions?” Jimin asked Yoongi, leaning against the
counter, “Is this you trying to put on a show?”

“I am literally crying here, Jiminie,” Yoongi deadpanned, sniffling, “my nose is running too. What
is sexy about that? Stop teasing me!”

Taehyung watched Jimin smile before reaching out to wipe Yoongi’s eyes. He cupped Yoongi’s
cheeks, wiping away Yoongi’s eyes with the back of his hands.

“You still look cute,” Jimin sighed, sitting down with his chin on his hand, “hyung.”

Yoongi went back to chopping the vegetables, head ducked. Taehyung’s eyes found Jimin’s and
Jimin’s smile dimmed. He stood up from the stool, coughing and looking around, clueless.

“Tell me what I can do to help?” Jimin asked, rubbing his hands together.

“You wanted to wash the vegetables,” Taehyung pointed out, “but I would like you to leave the
kitchen because you are of no help. You are just teasing hyung.”

Jimin pouted, “yeah but I want to help.”

“We don’t need your help, Jiminie,” Yoongi pointed the knife at the door, “you go. We will call if
we need help.”

Jimin’s shoulders slumped. He pouted with a nod. With a look at Taehyung he walked out.

Taehyung went back to scrolling his phone.

“The veggies are done,” Yoongi said after a while, “anything else you need help with, Tae?”

Taehyung shook his head, “nope. You go too. I will manage everything else.”
“Are you sure?” Yoongi looked sceptical, “tell me if you need any more help.”

“I don’t,” Taehyung shook his head, “I will be fine. Please go and rest yourself.”

Yoongi nodded, “call me if you need anything. Where is Jin hyung?”

“He is with Hobi hyung,” Taehyung went to the sink, “they are packing for the trip.”

“I need to pack too,” Yoongi sighed, looking disturbed, “I have a suitcase packed but… okay, call
me if you need anything, Tae.”

Taehyung nodded, watching Yoongi leave. He pulled up the recipe, reading through it. He drained
the pasta. Leaving it to dry out while he went for the soup. Taehyung watched the pot fill with
water while he waited.

He would make chicken soup and pasta. If the pasta wasn’t good enough, God forbid, the soup
could help.

Taehyung hummed a song he couldn’t remember the lyrics of while the chicken boiled. He looked
over at the watch on the wall, noting he had time. Taehyung turned to pull out the baby-corns.

“Need help?”

Taehyung let out a swear, turning with a glare and the baby-corns held high as if he would throw it,
“is Jin hyung sending you all one by one to see if I am destroying the kitchen or something?!”

Jungkook had his arms in front of him in a judo position as if he would defend himself against
those baby-corns, “no? I was playing video games with Jimin. He said you were cooking so I came
to see if you need help. Don’t throw them!”

Taehyung placed the box of baby-corn on the counter with a huff, “go back to video game. I am
fine and I don’t need help! Jeez!”

Jungkook lingered. He placed his arm on the counter and leaned against it while Taehyung moved
around the kitchen.

“I think you should start with the sauce,” he said, pointing at where the pasta was drying, “It’s
almost dry now.”

Taehyung nodded, going over the other pot to see if the veggies were boiled. He pulled out a pan to
sauté the ginger and garlic. As the oil started heating up, Taehyung felt Jungkook moving around
the counter. He saw Jungkook start with the sauce. Taking the chopped tomatoes from the bowl to
pour in the pan.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave?” Taehyung asked, going back to the sink to drain the chicken. He filled
the cooker with water and came back to put it on the oven. Jungkook moved mutely, giving
Taehyung space. They moved around each other, silently minding their work.

“Jungkook,” Taehyung slapped at Jungkook’s arm when he found himself wrapped in them, “go
back to your sauce.”

“It’s shimmering,” Jungkook mumbled, pressing Taehyung against the counter, “your soup is
boiling too. It’s hot all over the place.”

Taehyung looked at the oven, sighing in relief to see the dinner almost done. He leaned against
Jungkook, head lolling back while he closed his eyes.

“That was the lamest pickup line, to be honest,” Taehyung mumbled.

“It wasn’t a pickup line,” Jungkook shrugged, “it was just observation.”

“Go back to your video game,” Taehyung murmured, feeling the way Jungkook’s arms tightened
around his waist, “I will call when the dinner’s ready.”

Jungkook hid his face against Taehyung’s neck, “it’s boring.”

Taehyung frowned, tilting his head to look at the younger, “video game is boring? To Jungkook?
Who are you?”

Jungkook pinched his sides, making Taehyung squeal in surprise, “shut up. Jimin never wins
against me. It’s boring.”

“Great,” Taehyung hummed, “get someone else to beat your ass. Go now.”

Jungkook dropped his arms when Taehyung hopped onto the counter, dangling his feet. Taehyung
smiled when Jungkook stepped forward too, standing between his parted legs. Jungkook placed his
hands on both of Taehyung’s knees and Taehyung reached out instinctively. Jungkook’s lashes
fluttered when Taehyung’s fingers combed through his locks, pushing them away from his eyes.
Jungkook hummed when Taehyung cupped his face, messaging the back of his neck and squeezing
down to the shoulders.

“You look tired,” Taehyung noticed, “did you take a shower? Go take one if you haven’t.”

“I will after dinner,” Jungkook’s hands squeezed Taehyung’s thighs, “join me?”

“I am going to take a bubble bath,” Taehyung hummed, “with candles, bathing salt and bombs.”

Jungkook pressed closer, “Let’s take one together then.”

Taehyung’s lips parted on a soft chuckle, his hands playing with Jungkook’s hair, “Hmm,”
Taehyung mushed, “Nah. That’s something I am keeping for my lover. You, young man, don’t get
that.”

Jungkook’s arms found Taehyung’s hips and he pulled Taehyung closer, “do you have a lover?”

Taehyung looked at the cooker when it whistled. He reached out to turn the oven off before he
placed his arms around Jungkook’s shoulder.

“When I get one. I want to keep some firsts for him too,” Taehyung pushed lightly at Jungkook to
hop off the counter. Everything was done. Taehyung ignored the way Jungkook pressed closer,
chin hooked over his shoulder. Taehyung made sure everything was cooked before nudging at
Jungkook with his elbow.

“Set the table,” Taehyung pointed at the dining area, “I will bring in the food.”

Jungkook hummed, pulling himself away.

The soup sloshed in Taehyung’s hold when Jungkook’s lips touched the back of his neck. Before
Taehyung could react, Jungkook was walking out of the kitchen. Taehyung’s eyes followed him
until Jungkook turned the corner.
Taehyung looked down at the spilt soup. A sigh escaped him.

===&=&===

It was past one in the morning and Taehyung couldn’t sleep. Lately, he found himself writing in
the middle of the night, picking up the habit from Yoongi.

“Nights are for the loners,” Yoongi had once told him, a pencil tucked behind his ear, “the
moonlight is for honesty and the silence is the best company for your mind to free the chaos. Great
writings come at night.”

Taehyung believed it because it was true for him. He found himself on his bed, wearing a flimsy
shirt and nothing underneath while he scribbled his thoughts in the diary. It wasn’t writing per se.
It was just words. The first thoughts coming to him.

The door was locked. Taehyung didn’t like interruptions when he was like this. Honest and
vulnerable in his honesty. A side only he allowed himself to see. A side he was yet to love or
embrace.

The knock was soft. Taehyung hadn’t heard it the first time. The second time it caught his
attention. He turned with a frown.

There were two possibilities and both were not welcomed. Taehyung looked down at the diary,
reading through the lines he wrote. They were too personal. Taehyung waited for the person to
leave but the third knock was a little loud.

Jungkook was never the one to give up.

Taehyung was always the one to give in.

He peeked through the small gap of the door, “I am busy.”

“You are naked!” Jungkook’s eyes were on his bare legs, “doing what?”

“Writing,” Taehyung tried to keep the gap small but Jungkook’s push was strong and he stumbled
a little while Jungkook walked in. Jungkook locked the door behind himself. Still looking at
Taehyung.

Taehyung tugged at the shirt he was wearing. It was a size too big and buttoned lazily to fall off of
a shoulder. The sleeves falling to hide his fingers, creating paws. Taehyung knew the white
material of the shirt was somehow transparent. Almost giving him an illusion of clothing. He liked
the feel of it. He liked seeing himself in the mirror like that, alluring. Jungkook didn’t need to
know that though.

“Why are you naked?” Jungkook asked, voice low as if spilling secrets.

“I sleep like this,” Taehyung said, “when I am not expecting company and this is not naked! Can’t
you see the shirt?!”

Jungkook wasn’t wearing a shirt. Only his grey sweatpants. Taehyung wanted to point that out but
he couldn’t. Not when his throat closed around words, dying words, when he saw how buff
Jungkook looked.

Taehyung coughed in his hand, going around Jungkook to lay on the bed. On his front, pillow
tucked under his chest. He was shameless in his nakedness. Ignorant to the fact that the shirt
bunched up, revealing the arch of his lower back. The material riding up to reveal his ass.

It was his room.

Jungkook came to lay beside him. On Taehyung's side, his head resting on his left arm that was
planted on the mattress with the support of the elbow. Moonlight was cascading down on
Taehyung through the window, reflecting on his curves while he laid there. It illuminated his
shape, sharpening the curves for Jungkook’s eyes.

Taehyung ignored Jungkook, going back to writing. He was writing the hook now, pen moving
with vigour.

The first touch was light. On his spine, near his tailbone, with just a finger. The second touch
lingered, moving over his skin, following the path of his spine. With the expanse of Jungkook’s
whole palm.

Taehyung sighed, eyes still on his diary, “what do you want?”

Jungkook slithered closer, one leg coming to rest on Taehyung, pressing against his ass. Taehyung
kept on writing. His words were going to skip him if he stopped. Jungkook didn’t voice his answer
either.

The pen pressed down on the page when Taehyung felt the first kiss against his shoulder. Bare
shoulder meeting those warm lips. He held the pen tighter, eyes not leaving the spot where his
diary was before Jungkook closed it. He placed the diary on the bedside table, arm pulling
Taehyung closer.

Jungkook’s arm came around Taehyung’s shoulder, pressing against his cheek to turn his face
towards Jungkook. Taehyung sighed, feeling the warm breath leave his lips to caress Jungkook’s.
The next kisses were taking a path down Taehyung’s shoulder towards his collarbones, up his
throat and over his jaw before Jungkook pulled back a little.

Arms tightening around Taehyung and eyes roaming over Taehyung’s face, Jungkook let his hand
caress Taehyung’s cheek, “fuck.”

“How are you so beautiful?” Jungkook asked, voice tender against Taehyung’s lips, “so pretty like
this.”

Taehyung didn’t acknowledge the praise with an answer. He let Jungkook capture his lips though,
pressing his mouth on Jungkook’s. They kissed leisurely, once, twice, thrice. Lips meeting again
and again. Soft noises falling from their mouths when they parted, just to lean closer with urgency.

Jungkook rolled them, falling right between Taehyung’s legs. Their mouths moved against each
other, with each other. Lips parted for air and then found each other again. The room was silent,
except for the way Taehyung breathed out a laugh against Jungkook’s lips when Jungkook pinched
his side for biting his lips.

“Stop being a nuisance,” Jungkook pressed those words against Taehyung’s neck, collarbone,
down across his chest, “you are…”

“I am?” Taehyung hushed, looking down at the mop of hair, carding his fingers through those soft
strands, “I am what?”

Jungkook opened the buttons of Taehyung’s shirt, revealing smooth skin for his lips to skim.
“You are so…” Jungkook looked up, face searching Taehyung’s observant one, “you…”

“I am so me?” Taehyung smiled, gasping at the feel of teeth against his stomach, teeth tugging at
his naval, “is that a bad thing?”

Jungkook peppered kisses where the skin was irritated by his teeth, “I don’t know.”

Taehyung grasped at Jungkook’s hair then, tugging him up until they were face to face again,
“what if it’s a bad thing? Me being me?”

Jungkook’s eyes roamed over his face, arms supporting him up, “it’s frustrating, for sure.”

Taehyung laughed, head thrown back and throat bobbing, “and here I thought I was a delight.”

Jungkook didn’t take the bait. He went for Taehyung’s throat, teeth scraping against the skin,
pulling at it. Taehyung moaned, arms around Jungkook and his legs coming up to lock around
Jungkook’s waist.

“I am going to fuck you,” Jungkook murmured against Taehyung’s skin, “I will fuck this
narcissism out of you.”

“But before that,” Taehyung giggled at Jungkook’s sudden gasp when Taehyung rolled them over.

Taehyung sat on Jungkook’s abdomen, knees parted and resting on the mattress. He unbuttoned
the shirt completely, throwing it away with a roll of his hips. Taehyung thrived at the moan
Jungkook let out, arms coming up to squeeze Taehyung’s ass. Taehyung ground down again,
smirking at Jungkook’s glare.

“Give me the lube.”

.
.

Taehyung loved the way Jungkook’s eyes were trained on him. Sitting against the headrest with his
hand leisurely tugging at himself while his eyes watched Taehyung move.

Taehyung had his left arm on Jungkook’s shoulder, supporting him up, while his other was moving
in him. Jungkook was naked underneath him, ready and waiting. Taehyung took his time preparing
himself. He loved the way Jungkook was watching him, loved how Jungkook’s attention was
solely on him. Taehyung whimpered, biting down on his lower lip when his fingers pressed against
his prostate. He threw his head back, gasping for air as he gave himself the leisure to move his
fingers more in him. He was fucking himself as Jungkook watched. Jungkook had said nothing
since they started, eyes fixed on Taehyung. Taehyung looked down at him, heat coiling in his
stomach when their gazes clashed.

Taehyung let his free arm grasp at Jungkook’s nape, tugging him forward to kiss him. Jungkook
kissed him slowly, controlled, while Taehyung took it with hunger so foreign it made him heady.
He rutted against his own fingers, pressing them more in himself and widening them to stretch
himself.

“Wear the condom,” he mumbled against Jungkook’s lips, pushing him back against the headrest
when Jungkook arched up for more. Jungkook reached for the packet blindly. His eyes never
leaving Taehyung’s glistening ones. He tore it with his teeth, emitting a whine from Taehyung.

“You are so mainstream,” Taehyung pulled out his fingers, wiping them against Jungkook’s thigh
who cursed at him, “fucking basic!”

“Wanted me to get scissors for the packet or something?” Jungkook asked, arm encircling around
Taehyung’s wrist that was still wiping at his thigh, “come here, you nasty!”

Taehyung took the condom from Jungkook, rolling it on him. He poured some lube directly on
Jungkook’s dick, laughing when Jungkook swatted at his ass.

“Stop being a bitch,” Jungkook said, letting Taehyung stroke him nonetheless. Taehyung leathered
him up with practised motion before wriggling over. He held the cock in position before lowering
himself on it.

A whine left his mouth when Jungkook’s tip pressed through his rim, invasive and so thick.
Taehyung ignored the burn as his muscles stretched to accommodate the girth. He pushed himself
down until he was sitting on Jungkook’s lap, his dick lodged in him fully.

“And now you tell me why I am frustrating,” Taehyung asked, rolling his hips and feeling the way
Jungkook thrust up in him.

Taehyung just sat there, immobile and inquisitively looking at Jungkook.

“Either you move,” Jungkook’s arms came around him, squeezing his ass-cheeks with promise, “or
I do.”

Taehyung rolled his hips again, hands tight on Jungkook’s shoulders.

“Fuck this,” Jungkook sat up suddenly, coming nose to nose with Taehyung. Taehyung gasped,
arms going around Jungkook’s neck completely to hold onto his each elbow. He rode Jungkook
then, kissing those lips feverishly when Jungkook cursed at him.

“You are so fucking tight,” Jungkook’s hands roamed all over Taehyung’s body, squeezing,
caressing, slapping against the globes. Taehyung accepted all the kisses Jungkook gave him, their
chests touching, and skin burning against skin.

“You feel so good inside me,” Taehyung whined, cupping Jungkook’s face to breathe his words
against those parted lips, “make me so full. Jungkook.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook’s hips snapped, shoving up in Taehyung, “like it, babe? You like it?”

“I love it,” Taehyung nodded, crying out when he felt Jungkook reach between the two of them to
take a hold of his dick, “I love you in me so much.”

“Then show me how much you love it,” Jungkook hid his face against Taehyung’s collarbone,
teeth sinking there, “fuck yourself on me like the slut you are.”

Taehyung threw his head back, feeling the way Jungkook pressed his thumb down on his slit while
biting him, “fuck, Jungkook.”

Jungkook didn’t answer, his hips snapping tirelessly up in Taehyung. The sound filled Taehyung’s
ears. Their skin slapping against each other. Moans and whines echoing in the room. Taehyung let
himself get swiped away by Jungkook’s thrusts, let his body coil with pleasure. The heat coursing
through him, breaking his skin in goosebumps.

“You have something with my nipples,” Taehyung panted when Jungkook sucked one into his
mouth, “you keep going back to it.”
Jungkook didn’t answer. His tongue busy lapping against Taehyung’s nipple.

The heat coiled in Taehyung’s belly, making his toes curl against the mattress. The tempo was fast,
both of them seeking the climax.

“Fuck me harder,” Taehyung cupped Jungkook’s face, kissing him again, “now. Fuck me harder.”

Jungkook nodded, his grip on Taehyung’s hips bruising. When he moved this time, it was rough
and Taehyung loved it.

He closed his eyes, hiding his face against the crook of Jungkook’s neck. Taehyung let Jungkook
fill him up, stretching him to the brim until it was on the verge of painful.

The sounds leaving Jungkook’s mouth were filthy, animalistic.

“Come on, Jungkook,” Taehyung cradled Jungkook’s face in his hands, “come in me.”

Taehyung hissed, muffling a cry against Jungkook’s hair when Jungkook bit down on his nipple,
leaving behind marks for Taehyung to tend to later.

“You bitch,” Taehyung said, feeling Jungkook coming in him.

Jungkook was stroking him now, twisting his wrist in a way that made Taehyung brim with too
much pleasure until he couldn’t take it anymore. He came with a grunt of Jungkook’s name,
gasping for air.

After that Taehyung just sat on Jungkook’s lap, Jungkook’s cock still in him. They were both
panting, feeling hot breaths against each other’s faces.

“I kind of want to stay in you like this,” Jungkook said, “until I can go again.”

“Pull out, you dick,” Taehyung huffed, “that’s gross.”

“It’s hot,” Jungkook said, moving Taehyung up with his hands around Taehyung’s waist, “and we
will do it once at least.”

Taehyung hissed when Jungkook pulled out, tying the condom before throwing it in the bin.
Jungkook wiped him with the shirt Taehyung was wearing, ignoring Taehyung’s protests.

“Close the door when you leave,” Taehyung said, pulling the duvet up till his chin, “good night,
Jungkook.”

He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling tiredness seep into his bones. He was going to sleep tonight.
Taehyung could tell.

The dip of the mattress was surprising and familiar at the same time. The duvet moved next.
Taehyung stiffened when an arm wrapped around him, Jungkook’s lips pressing against his nape.

“Good night, Tae,” Jungkook murmured, “sleep now.”

Taehyung laid there, in Jungkook’s arms, his eyes wide open. He looked out through the window,
trying to understand how he felt about Jungkook cuddling with him right after they had sex.

This was not something he wanted. No. This was something he wished he had but not in the sense
Jungkook was willing to give. The way Jungkook’s body felt pressed against his, warm and secure.
Taehyung didn’t need to know how Jungkook’s arms curled around him just after they had sex. He
didn’t want to feel those lips pressing against his nape just for the sake of it. He didn’t want to
remember how Jungkook fell asleep while his lips stayed pressed against Taehyung’s skin.
Taehyung didn’t want those kisses until they were leading up to sex or in the middle of it.

Forgetting about sex was easy. It was the same physical act, got mixed up in the head with many
different faces. It was just physical pleasure for that moment where his brain was too busy to
catalogue the touches or feels or stares. Sex was physical. It was the movements that you repeated
with your partners. Feelings detached.

But this… his brain catalogued this. Taehyung knew his heart would capture these small gestures
and would tuck them away for Taehyung to remember forever. He knew he would remember for
the rest of his life how Jungkook smiled at him after joining him in bed as if he belonged there.
Right beside Taehyung. As if they were supposed to have sex and then cuddle.

Taehyung would always remember how Jungkook’s kisses felt against his heated kiss just before
going to sleep. How their bodies curved together to fit against each other while they waited to fall
asleep.

Jungkook was pressed against him as if it was okay. As if they were in love… both of them.

Taehyung clutched at the duvet, hiding his face against the pillow when Jungkook pressed in
closer. Nothing separating them. Nothing to protect Taehyung from the scorching heat of the
other’s body.

Taehyung let his eyes fall shut, lips trembling when he felt Jungkook’s arm coming to rest on top
of his. His fingers entangling with Taehyung’s.

Taehyung knew this time he won’t be able to run.

It was his room.

===&=&===

“You are a beast, not a bunny for sure,” Taehyung whined, breath still caught in his chest when he
swatted at Jungkook. He looked over at the clock on his bedside table.

It was six-thirty in the morning!

“For fucking you in the morning?” Jungkook asked, sweaty and breathy against Taehyung’s ear,
“or for telling you how I liked fucking you in the morning?”

“Don’t kiss me,” Taehyung turned his head away, “your breath stinks.”

“Didn’t complain when I fucked you into the mattress,” Jungkook said, fingers drawing patterns on
Taehyung’s belly, “or when I made you suck me off.”

“Go to your room now,” Taehyung said, swatting at Jungkook’s chest, “I can’t believe you could
go again this early in the morning! We fucked just last night! My back hurts!”

“Want me to make you breakfast in bed?” Jungkook asked, grinning.

Taehyung’s whine got stuck in his throat. He shook his head, suddenly feeling the chill in the air.
He pulled the duvet on his sweaty skin, hiding himself from Jungkook’s wandering eyes.

“No need,” Taehyung said, pointing at the door, “go now. Someone might wake up and see you
 here with me.”

“You think they will know what we did?” Jungkook rolled his eyes, “you realize we used to sleep
together all the time before this, right? What will tip them off now?”

“I have fucking bite marks all over my body, thanks to you!” Taehyung kicked Jungkook, glaring
when Jungkook caught his ankle, tugging at it, “you are sweaty, we both are. We look fucked out.
Leave.”

“A kiss and I go,” Jungkook leaned in, arm still tugging at Taehyung’s ankle.

“No kissing until you brush your teeth!” Taehyung shook his head, “that’s why we did it on hands
and knees. I don’t wanna kiss you or be anywhere near your face when you smell!”

“Jesus! You will be a waste of a boyfriend, I see,” Jungkook said, kissing Taehyung’s foot with a
grin.

The grin dimmed on his face. Taehyung laid there motionless. When his eyes met Taehyung’s wide
ones, Taehyung didn’t know what to say to break the silence.

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Jungkook said, dropping Taehyung’s leg, “you know that, right? I
didn’t mean it like…”

Taehyung nodded, forcing a smile on his face, “I know. Now leave. I want to sneak in another hour
of sleep.”

Jungkook sighed, his hand coming up to circle around Taehyung’s ankle.

Taehyung turned away. He didn’t react when Jungkook kissed the arch of his lower-back.
Jungkook lingered, lips brushing over Taehyung’s skin for a few seconds. Then he was pulling
away.

Taehyung didn’t look back when Jungkook left.

He didn’t mean it that way. Jungkook didn’t mean it that way.

Taehyung hugged the pillow closer to his chest, sighing when he smelt Jungkook on it. He couldn’t
throw the pillow away when he himself smelt like Jungkook.

Taehyung buried his nose against the pillow.

The lines were blurring around him. The lines Taehyung drew for his own fragile heart. Jungkook
was blurring it all. Taehyung wasn’t sure how long it would take for Jungkook to see him bare.
How long before Taehyung would stand bare in front of Jungkook.

But Taehyung knew it would be that moment Jungkook break him. In his most vulnerable state,
when Taehyung would be stripped down to his heart for Jungkook’s eyes. For Jungkook to break
it. With rejection or pity. Both were unacceptable.

Taehyung whimpered in the pillow, he wasn’t sure how to draw those lines again.

===&=&===

Chapter End Notes

Twitter
 { Please don't leave me alone, it hurts too much }
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

There were things Taehyung considered intimate which were not really a big deal for most of the
people around him. It was intimate to him when he shared his playlists with someone else. It was
intimate if he let someone go through his gallery. He never suggested to people his favourite books
until he really liked them or knew they wouldn’t judge his choices. He didn’t like letting people in
on things he enjoyed.

Just like that Jungkook had his own sense of intimacy too. Taehyung knew because he had learnt
those habits, slowly peeling off those layers to finally see the raw Jungkook in his primal emotions.
It took him years, constant effort and persuasion.

Jungkook didn’t like someone wearing his clothes. He never really liked letting someone else
handle his cameras. He didn’t like pampering someone or physical closeness. He was irritated by
people who invaded his personal space. Taehyung had to spend ages to break those walls around
Jungkook. Just for the younger to let him in and yet… Jimin had it without even trying. Jimin
didn’t struggle as much. Jungkook had somehow warmed up to him in no time. He had let Jimin
see the depths of his without much hesitance.

Taehyung watched from his seat on the lounger, sunglass perched on his nose, how Jungkook sat
at the poolside with Jimin right beside him. Jimin was going through Jungkook’s camera, pointing
at the screen and laughing about something. Jungkook had his arm around Jimin’s shoulder,
leaning closer and smiling at the boy.

It had been a day since they came to Bora-Bora. Taehyung had slept through the night, ignoring
Yoongi’s nagging about eating dinner. He was sharing the room with Yoongi because since that
morning in his room, he was a little awkward around Jungkook. Jungkook had raised a brow when
Taehyung had voluntarily chosen Yoongi as his roommate. Much to Jimin’s protests. Jimin then
chose Hoseok. Leaving Jin, Namjoon and Jungkook.

It was Jungkook who ended up with a single room. Obviously.

“Not swimming yet?” Hoseok asked, in his shorts and a sunhat hiding his face from the bright sun.
There was a swim-ring around his middle. His hand holding onto a coconut with a colourful paper
straw. Taehyung smiled at how adorably dorky Hoseok looked.

“Not yet,” Taehyung said, peeking through his sunglasses, “I will just finish the pineapple juice
first.”

“Join me when you are done,” Hoseok waved before running towards Jimin and Jungkook who
were still talking by the pool.

“Not swimming?”

Taehyung groaned, turning his head a little to acknowledge Yoongi who walked closer to take the
vacant lounger beside Taehyung. He had a glass of wine in his hands. Taehyung watched with
amusement how Yoongi had worn a long-sleeved shirt and a three-quarter cargo.

“Not yet,” Taehyung said, mindlessly sipping from his glass, “neither are you.”
“I never liked so much water,” Yoongi said, “it’s better coming out of a showerhead.”

“You know how to swim,” Taehyung said, chewing the end of the straw when he saw Jungkook
pulling Jimin in the pool, Jimin flaring until he was pulled closer to Jungkook.

Jungkook had discarded his shirt.

Taehyung leaned back on the lounger, looking up to see the umbrella obstructing his view of the
cloudless sky.

“Where are Jin and Namjoon?” Yoongi asked, “not in their room. Haven’t seen them since
morning.”

“Exploring the island,” Taehyung parroted what Namjoon had told them before leaving with an
excited Jin right beside him, “Jin wanted to buy souvenirs for his family. Namjoon wanted to walk
around a little.”

“So Namjoon volunteered to go with him,” Yoongi nodded in understanding, sipping from his
wine, “nice.”

Taehyung suckled on the straw, pouting when all the straw suckled onto was air and made a
hollow sound into his glass. He looked over at the minibar. With a sigh he sat up, placing the
empty glass on the table between him and Yoongi.

“Need another drink?” Taehyung asked, “I am going there.”

“I am fine,” Yoongi said, opening the book he brought with himself, “is yours just juice or vodka
mixed?”

“Just juice,” Taehyung said, slipping on the flip-flops before he rounded the lounger. Hoseok,
Jimin and Jungkook were swimming, splashing water at each other, laughing obnoxiously when
one got the other.

“Tae, join us,” Hoseok called out, “let’s play volleyball. We can win against these two.”

Taehyung mused, standing by the edge with a thoughtful expression.

“You can never win against us,” Jimin said, pulling Jungkook closer with an arm around the
younger’s shoulder, “we are the dream team.”

Taehyung sighed, grasping the hem of his T-shirt and pulling it off him, “fine. Let me get the ball
first.”

“Yoongi can be our referee,” Hoseok said, trying to gain the older’s attention by calling his name,
“will you be our referee?”

Yoongi looked over at them, uninterested eyes and half-face hidden behind the book. Taehyung
walked away to bring the ball while hearing the cheers. So maybe Yoongi agreed.

.
.

“That doesn’t count!” Jimin shouted, agitatedly slapping the water and splashing it around, “Tae
dropped the ball!”

“He didn’t,” Hoseok splashed with even more force, “I didn’t see it!”
“But he did drop the ball!” Jungkook whirled around to look up at Yoongi who was sitting on those
lifeguard chairs with that glass of wine in his hand, “right?”

Yoongi looked over at Taehyung and everyone followed his sight. Taehyung made a pouting face,
lower lip jutting out and eyes flapping innocently.

“I didn’t drop the ball, hyung,” Taehyung whined, “I won’t lie, you know, right?”

There was a small smirk on Yoongi’s lips and Taehyung knew Yoongi saw him drop the ball.
Taehyung tilted his head, shoulders hunching up innocently while he waited.

“Don’t you dare fall for that face!” Jimin shouted, more agitated, “hyung! You can’t be swayed
just by a look! Come on!”

“Hyung, he is doubting your ability of judgment!” Taehyung pointed at Jimin, scandalized

expression right on his face while trying very hard not to join Hoseok who was laughing himself to
a fit, “he thinks you can be swayed by anyone! He thinks you are biased!”

“He didn’t drop the ball,” Yoongi said finally, taking a sip of his wine, “I didn’t see it.”

“Hyung!”

Jimin and Jungkook shouted in disagreement, telling Yoongi that he was biased. Hoseok and
Taehyung bowed as much as they could, telling Yoongi what a great referee he was.

“We will ruin you!” Jungkook turned back towards them, his jaw set. Eyes oozing fire while he
pointed a finger at them.

“We will see!” Hoseok stuck his tongue out, giggling.

The game began.

.
.
.

Taehyung and Hoseok lost. They couldn’t win against Jungkook’s resilient force and Jimin’s
enthusiasm. Not even Yoongi could save them.

“If we win this round,” Jimin turned towards Yoongi, “hyung will swim with us.”

“Not in a million years, Park!” Yoongi said, pulling his leg up as if Jimin would tug at them, “keep
me away from your swimming agenda.”

“If we win,” Jungkook turned towards Hoseok and Taehyung, “The losing team will give us an oil
massage.”

“Done!” Hoseok said, “now come on!”

Taehyung sighed, trying to regulate his breathing. He knew what was coming. Now Jungkook had
a prize to gain and he was going to be relentless.

The score was glaring at them and Taehyung flopped back, floating in the water.

“Massage!” Jimin shouted, high-fiving Jungkook.

“Not now!” Hoseok shook his head, trying to breathe through his mouth, “I am going to swim
now.”

Taehyung ducked under the water, feeling the heat of his face wash away with the coldness of the
water. The water sloshed against him, leaving all the sound behind while Taehyung stayed
underneath. He broke through the water when he couldn’t breathe anymore.

When his eyes opened, they focused on where Jungkook was swimming. Not swimming per se. he
was floating on the water and Jimin was on him, arms around his neck and body resting on
Jungkook’s back.

“Me and Jungkook are going out for dinner tonight,” Jimin said, looking around them, “on that
yacht Doyun hyung booked for us. Any one of you want to come? Jungkook had asked me to go
but it’s okay if you all wanna come.”

Taehyung didn’t know about it. Jungkook hadn’t told him. When his eyes found Jungkook, the
younger was looking at Jimin. The look made something curl in Taehyung’s chest. Those eyes
were fond, soft in a way Taehyung had never seen. The tender awe and doting look that Taehyung
never received from the younger.

“I am fine,” Yoongi said, “I will be seasick if the yacht is just there and moving with the waves.
Thanks.”

“I am going to eat with Joonie and Jin. Tae?” Hoseok asked, looking back at Taehyung.

“I am fine too,” Taehyung said, swimming away from where Jimin and Jungkook were still
attached to each other, “it’ll be just you and Jungkook.”

“That’s fine,” Jungkook said, patting Jimin’s arm, “I will be the best dinner partner ever, Jimin-
ssi.”

Everyone laughed when Jimin bit down on Jungkook’s shoulder, making Jungkook curse at him.
Taehyung clenched his jaw, trying to ignore the sizzling on his skin when he saw Jimin’s teeth
leaving marks on Jungkook’s pale skin.

Taehyung swam closer to the edge, supporting himself on his elbows white combing his hair back
from his face. He stood there catching his breath and watching Hoseok hoist himself out of the
pool.

“Anything to drink?” Hoseok asked him while passing.

Taehyung nodded, “another juice. Anything.”

“Watermelon?” Hoseok asked, walking to the bar.

“Sure,” Taehyung dropped his head on the edge of the pool, enjoying the cold surface against his
heated forehead.

“Already tired?” Jimin asked, swimming closer and leaning against the edge to face Taehyung with
a smirk, “and I was thinking we can do a swimming race. See who will win.”

Taehyung chuckled, pushing back from the edge with a smile on his face when he looked at Jimin,
“between the two of us, you are always the winner, Jiminah.”

Jimin tried to grab a hold of him but Taehyung flipped on his back, swimming away.
“Come on, get out and let’s eat something,” Yoongi said from the side, “it’s almost time for lunch
and I am fucking hungry.”

Taehyung took the offered glass from Hoseok, “you guys go. I will just soak in a little here. I am
not that hungry.”

“You filled your stomach with juice since morning,” Yoongi pointed at the empty glasses beside
his lounger and Taehyung gave him an apologetic smile.

“Let’s go then,” Jimin said, getting out of the pool, “kookie, come on. Let’s go and eat.”

“If he wants to stay here with Tae, let him,” Yoongi said, “me you and Hobi can go and eat.”

“No,” Jungkook said, hurrying to catch up with them, “no, let’s go. I am hungry.”

Taehyung heard the panic in his voice. He saw the tightness in Jungkook’s shoulders. The way
Jungkook avoided staying alone with him.

“I will be fine, hyung,” Taehyung said, “you all go. I want to swim a little more.”

===&=&===

Jungkook liked having a goal in life. Something to work towards. A focus to run for. No matter
what he was doing, he liked planning out the route to reach his goal.

This time that goal was Jimin. The plan was to make Jimin see him as a potential partner.

He had the whole route planned. How to achieve this goal. How to land himself as a suitor in
Jimin’s eyes. God, Jungkook had every date and outings planned. He even wrote down words to
use or moves to show off in front of Jimin.

He had to woo Jimin. Make him look at Jungkook differently.

Jungkook waited by the door of the bungalow. His hands shoved in his pockets and eyes fixed on
his shoes while he waited. Jimin was as usual late. Jungkook was by now used to this, everyone in
the group was. He let his eyes wander around the bungalow. From the frontier he could see the
wooden walkway that led them to the huts, the huts were booked for them too. They could use
those if they wanted. Jungkook was sure Namjoon and Jin were going to use one of those. He
didn’t want to think about how. It was evening now. Jungkook wanted to spend as much time as he
could before they had to eat dinner and come back. He wanted to have as much time alone with
Jimin as possible.

A smile curled his lips while he thought about how Jimin had hugged him that morning and stayed
so close to him throughout the day. How they had clicked so many pictures together. Jungkook had
a few favourites. Favourites he would print out and keep in his album. He recalled how Jimin had
held onto him while playing volleyball. How they had won against Taehyung and Hoseok.

The smile dimmed on Jungkook’s lips when his mind took another route.

A route that led to Taehyung laughing at Hoseok, sputtering when Jimin threw water at him. The
road had no maps. This road had no destination for Jungkook to focus on. On this road, Jungkook
always found himself lost. He didn’t know why his mind visited this path that led to nothing and
had none of Jungkook’s goals plastered on the map. This road made Jungkook run around as if he
was in a maze, a maze he didn’t know why he found himself back to. Always.
Jungkook clicked his foot idly, grinding down on the pebbles under his feet. He hadn’t talked to
Taehyung since that morning two days ago. It was awkward somehow. He knew why. He
shouldn’t have talked about that boyfriend thing. He didn’t know if he should apologize or…
Taehyung hadn’t reached out for him either. Jungkook had always waited for the older to tell him
what was wrong or for Taehyung to somehow fix it. It was always Taehyung between the two of
them who knew how to melt the ice. Jungkook liked to follow the orders the older gave. Without
Taehyung’s words, Jungkook was feeling lost. He didn’t know how to talk or how he should act
now.

Should he apologize? But he did.

Should he reach out? What if Taehyung needed time?

Why wasn’t Taehyung talking to him? Taehyung always did reach out first.

He chose Yoongi hyung over Jungkook. So maybe he wanted space.

Why?

Why it bothered Jungkook so much anyway?

“How long have you been waiting?” Jimin came running, panting a little when he reached
Jungkook, “sorry. I lost my wallet, had to search for it. Were you waiting for long?”

Jungkook’s eyes snapped up. He took a look at Jimin and shrugged, pushing off the pillar to join
Jimin on the path.

“It’s alright,” he said, “I wasn’t waiting for long.”

“Before we go to the yacht,” Jimin said, arm coming around Jungkook’s while his eyelashes batted
alluringly at Jungkook, “can we visit the market near the beach? I want to buy some souvenirs for
my friends and family too.”

Jungkook nodded, smiling at Jimin’s pouty face, “anything, Jimin ssi.”

“I want to buy a pearl for Tae too,” Jimin said excitedly, “do you think white pearl or pink? I think
he would love lovely in a white pearl necklace.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook nodded, looking at the ocean that followed them on the side, “he would.”

The evening breeze was crispy against their skin, eyes squinting against the sand particles. Jimin’s
chatter filling the silences that Jungkook found engulfing him. He found himself in the middle of
teasing and a lot of bickering. In Jimin’s case, the bickering ended with Jungkook just letting Jimin
win. There was no urge for him to one-up Jimin. Jimin liked to tease and he was a natural flirt. He
sometimes didn’t even notice he was flirting or he didn’t’ really mean it the way Jungkook wanted
it to be.

Jungkook found himself watching Jimin. That wide grin, that tinkling voice, those crescent-like
eyes. Jimin’s laugh was soft, airy. His whole body shaking with it. He giggled easily, leaning his
entire body against Jungkook as they walked.

“Please,” Jimin swatted at Jungkook’s arm, “you didn’t even tell me how I look. I got dressed only
for you, kookie!”

“You always look gorgeous,” Jungkook was flustered, rolling his eyes when Jimin cooed at him,
“you know that.”

“Gorgeous or beautiful?” Jimin asked, “Choose one.”

Gorgeous.

Jungkook noted the way Jimin had applied minimal makeup and perfume. He didn’t wear anything
extravagant either. Yet he managed to look ethereal. To Jungkook, Jimin was always gorgeous.

Beautiful though…

An unbidden image flashed across his mind. Making Jungkook frown at his boots while he walked
beside Jimin.

Beautiful, Jungkook thought about that morning.

How Jungkook had turned and opened his eyes and he was there. A mess. In complete disarray
with his mouth open to breathe and drool on the pillow. There were marks on his cheeks from the
sheets, goop at the corners of his eyes and yet…

Taehyung was beautiful. With his long lashes fluttering against his skin, eyes moving under the
lids so alluringly it made Jungkook itch with the urge to reach out and kiss those lids. Those lips,
soft and pouty, even in sleep. Hands clutching that duvet closer under his chin…

Beautiful.

That word, in Jungkook’s mind, had always belonged to Taehyung. Effortlessly beautiful. Maybe
Taehyung didn’t even know he was. So clueless about the effect he had on others.

The thought made Jungkook frown. A nagging in his guts making him ground his teeth together.

“You are gorgeous,” Jungkook said, “anyone can be beautiful.”

He was irked at himself. For thinking about Taehyung when he was out with Jimin. When it was
finally time for him to relax with just Jimin. Jimin was there, arms around his, and Jungkook
wasn’t going to waste his time thinking about how pouty Taehyung’s lips were when he slept. Or
how… No!

“Everyone can’t be beautiful, Kookie,” Jimin sighed, looking at the small shops as they passed,
“beauty comes from within. Like… Yoongi hyung is beautiful. Even when he comes back to the
dorm looking like he would fall asleep right there on the threshold, when he runs on just coffee and
no sleep, he is beautiful. Don’t you think?”

“Yoongi hyung is cool,” Jungkook laughed, “and savage. To me.”

“He is just…” Jimin sighed, blinking away that unreadable expression and shaking his head, “let’s
buy some gifts. Where to start?”

Jungkook pointed at a shop that was selling pearls, “there. Your pearls.”

.
.

“This is so beautiful,” Jimin was looking at an earring, a tiny pearl hanging from the chain,
“simple yet classy. It comes with a bracelet too. A couple set!”
“Buy it then,” Jungkook said, “you will look great in it.”

Jimin smiled, “yeah. What are you buying?”

“Nothing,” Jungkook said, looking around the shop, “I am fine.”

“Come on, kookie,” Jimin pointed at the trinkets, “buy something. You didn’t even look around.”

“Nothing caught my eyes,” Jungkook shrugged, pointing at the small bag in his hand, “I already
got a necklace for my mum. That’s all for now.”

Jimin pulled him out of the store and started walking for the next one, “fine. I need to buy
something for the boys too. Let’s go.”

Jungkook let Jimin hold his hand, feeling the warmth when their fingers entangled. He smiled,
watching Jimin bounce ahead of him, tugging him along. Jungkook held on tightly. It felt nice to
have the one you like so much beside you. So close. So perfect in your reach. Just the two of them.

“You are so slow, Kookie,” Jimin giggled when Jungkook grunted, tugging him closer, “come on.”

Jungkook laughed, speeding up with his hand still grasped in Jimin’s clutch. Everyone was looking
as the two of them ran through the crowd. Giggles filling the sidewalks. Jungkook loved how the
ocean was orange by now, reflecting the light in Jimin’s eyes. Happy. Jimin looked lovely when he
was happy.

They ended up in another shop. Jimin buying a few more gifts. Jungkook loitered around. His eyes
skimming the goods.

Until his eyes found that chain.

It was a waist chain. Made of silver. It gleamed under the lights of the shop and Jungkook’s eyes
was stuck on those black pearls hanging around it like teardrops. It would look lovely on a curvy
waist.

Taehyung would look so pretty wearing that.

The thought came instantaneously and Jungkook stepped away from the chain. He clenched his
jaw, looking back at where Jimin was still busy buying a shell-made necklace.

Jungkook pointed at the waist-chain, “how much for that one?”

The lady behind the counter smiled at him, taking off the chain and telling him the price.

“It would look lovely on your lover,” she winked at him, laughing when Jungkook said he didn’t
have one, “then whoever you are buying it for. Do they have a great waistline?”

He had.

“I would like it packed,” Jungkook said, pulling out his wallet.

He would give it to Jimin. Jimin could wear it when he performed. He liked wearing crop-tops. He
would look marvellous in that waist-chain.

“What did you buy?” Jimin asked when they stepped out of the store.

Jungkook felt the weight of the bag in his hand, fingers tightening around it when he shrugged.
“A chain.”

“Great!” Jimin beamed, “for whom? Yourself?”

For you. Jungkook wanted to say.

“No,” he said instead. He clutched the package closer to his chest, glaring at it, “not for me.”

“For me then?” Jimin wiggled his brows, grinning, “kookie?”

Jungkook pointed at the ocean outside of the shop, “let’s go and have dinner. I am hungry.”

Jimin followed, still asking about the gift. The paper bag got heavier with each step Jungkook took.

===&=&===

“Thank you for the dinner,” Jimin said, wiping his mouth with the napkin before grinning at
Jungkook.

Jungkook nodded, looking over at the calm sea, “do you want to sit for a bit? On the deck?”

“Sure,” Jimin said, standing up to follow Jungkook on the deck, “it’s not that late.”

They sat, leaning against the loungers. Jimin had a glass full of wine in his hand and Jungkook
opted for champagne. Jungkook looked up at the moon, feeling the quiet surrounding them.

Someone was playing an instrument on the beach, maybe having a bonfire. The tune was unknown
to Jungkook yet so peaceful. Jungkook found himself nodding along. Jimin was right beside him
on another lounger.

“This is so peaceful,” Jimin murmured, “thank you for the dinner, Kookie, really. I loved it.”

Jungkook hummed. The melody was of a violin. Someone was playing violin.

Taehyung loved violin.

If he was here, he would have demanded to know who it was or asked Jungkook to dance with him
as the tune played.

The smile tugged at his lips unceremoniously when Jungkook remembered their London trip. How
Taehyung and he had left the hotel they were staying in at midnight. In disguise, just because
Taehyung wanted to explore the city. They had walked around, eaten at shops that stayed open at
that hour. Had danced on the street, a street they didn’t know the name of, while a guy had played
his violin. They had danced like fools with that guy’s violin as their company. They had tipped him
well, running off afterwards. That melody had followed them, soft and lovely.

Jungkook still remembered that tune. He remembered the sound of Taehyung’s laugh. He
remembered the warmth Taehyung radiated, even in the middle of that snowfall.

“What are you thinking about?” Jimin asked him, nudging his side, “you look lost.”

Jungkook shook his head, “nothing important. What were you talking about?”

“I was asking if you could be anywhere right now, with anyone, where do you see yourself and
with whom?”
Jungkook looked at the sky. He could still see that wide grin on Taehyung’s face, hand clutching
Jungkook’s in a tight grip as they ran. Feet stumbling on the puddle of snow and eyes blinking
rapidly against the snowfall. Not knowing where they were going. No care of the world. No care of
themselves.

“London,” Jungkook mumbled, “with…” he looked over at Jimin with a smile, “you.”

Jimin swatted at him with a giggle and Jungkook laughed too.

The laugh was wiped off his face when he faced the sky again. Instead, there was a frown.

That tune played in his mind for the rest of the evening.

===&=&===

It wasn’t Taehyung’s fault that Jungkook couldn’t stop thinking about the stupid things they did
together. It wasn’t Taehyung’s fault that all Jungkook would remember from the night was how he
kept thinking about Taehyung. It wasn’t Taehyung’s fault that Jungkook couldn’t forget that violin
and that stupid tune. None of that was Taehyung’s fault.

Yet when they went back to the bungalow and Jungkook saw Taehyung sitting on the swing in the
garden, all Jungkook felt was frustration and anger. When Jimin called his name, Taehyung looked
up with a smile on his face.

Jungkook turned away. His jaw clenched. His hand clutching that bag so tight, it was crumpling in
his fist.

“Where are you going?” Jimin asked, watching Jungkook walk past him into the bungalow.

“To shower,” Jungkook muttered, “I am tired.”

He slammed the door behind himself, throwing the paper bag on his bed. It bounced, falling off
the edge. Jungkook pulled off his shirt, throwing it in the laundry bin before marching towards the
cupboards.

After a shower and a change of clothes, he came to sit on the bed.

“Calm down!” he told himself while combing his hair back from his face, “focus on your goal,
Jungkook. Jimin. You want to win him over. Stop thinking about Taehyung and focus on Jimin
from now on.”

Jungkook nodded to himself. He would not forget his goal again. On this trip he would make Jimin
fall for him and for that, he would have to stop thinking about Taehyung.

It would be easy, Jungkook thought. All he had to do was keep the distance that somehow found its
way between the two of them. Taehyung hadn’t made any advances so he probably wanted the
same. Jungkook looked down at the crumpled paper bag and sighed.

He grabbed it and stood up. He would give it to Jimin and be done with it.

===&=&===

“Kookie,” Jimin opened the door in his robe, “come on in.”

Jungkook walked in, the bag clutched in his grip. Jimin locked the door and pointed at the balcony
connected with the private mini-pool.
“Did he invite you?” Jimin asked, going to the fridge to pull out a bottle of champagne, “to join
us?”

“He? Join in what?” Jungkook allowed himself to be pulled towards the balcony. Jimin pushed the
door open and the ocean-breeze hit Jungkook with force. It smelt of the sea-salt and the view was
of darkness except for the dimmed lights around the balcony and…

Taehyung.

Jungkook watched Taehyung in that mini-pool. In his boxers and a white flower tucked behind his
ear while he floated near the edge, looking out at the sea.

“Jiminah,” Taehyung whined, “did you bring the champagne? Pour it on me!”

“What?” Jimin giggled, “bitch, that’s for us to drink. Not to pour on you!”

“But you can lap it off me,” Taehyung said, “like body-shots. Give me that crown I brought with
me.”

Jungkook stood, watching how Jimin handed over a white flower-crown for Taehyung to place on
his head.

“Jungkook, join us!” Jimin said, “why are you standing there?”

Taehyung stilled, looking over his shoulder at Jungkook. Jungkook’s grip on the bag tightened at
the image Taehyung presented. The sea was reflecting the moonlight, creating a halo around
Taehyung as if he was the moon himself. The water droplets on Taehyung’s skin glistened as small
diamonds etched on Taehyung’s tanned skin. The water in the pool lapped against Taehyung’s
chest, small tides created by the movements of Taehyung’s legs.

Taehyung glistened on his own.

“Join us!” Jimin said, slipping off the robe and stepping into the mini-pool, “kookie, you are
wearing boxers? Join us then.”

“I,” Jungkook looked back at Jimin, “I…”

“Come on,” Jimin lowered himself until he was sitting in the pool, the water coming up to his
shoulders, “let’s have a drink and talk. We haven’t sat down like this in so long. Just the three of
us.”

Jungkook hesitated, looking at Jimin and ignoring the way Taehyung turned back towards the sea
without a single word of acknowledgement.

“Uhhh,” he nodded, “Fine.”

Jimin watched him strip. Jungkook placed his jogger and T-shirt on the deck-chair before stepping
into the pool.

“You could have come with us,” Jimin turned towards Taehyung who had his back to them, “we
enjoyed so much. What did you do here?”

Jungkook accepted the glass of champagne and looked over at Taehyung.

“We bought some gifts,” Jimin sipped his champagne, “The dinner was great. We even enjoyed
the night sky from the deck. You were talking to someone when we got back. Right?”
“Yeah,” Taehyung let out a soft sigh, “I was trying to convince Bogum hyung to join us here.”

“What?!” Jimin sputtered, eyes wide, “Bogum? How? Why?”

Taehyung looked over his shoulder at Jimin, “his shooting got postponed because of some strike
against the management company. He is a little upset. I thought it would be a good distraction and
might cheer him up.”

Jungkook looked at the champagne, watching the bubbles when he sloshed the liquid. He took a
sip, feeling the bubbles burst on his tongue to leave behind the acidulous flavours. Jungkook
leaned back against the wall of the mini-pool, keeping his eyes focused on Jimin who sat right in
front of him.

“Can you invite him here though? I mean,” Jimin shrugged, “our management…”

“I messaged Doyun hyung,” Taehyung cut in, “he said it was okay. Bogum is fine. He is popular
and people like to see us together apparently. He is not a girl.”

Jimin snorted at that, “right. Our fans won’t think we can be interested in men…”

Taehyung snorted too, “tell me about it.”

“What did he say?” Jimin crouched a little, “is he coming then?”

“I need to convince him more,” Taehyung chuckled, “he told me he likes listening to me whine.
Told me I should give him a reason to visit me here. Dick.”

“You are smiling,” Jimin grinned, wiggling his brows, “you don’t mean that dick in true sense.
What are you going to do? Send him a nude?”

Jungkook chugged till the last drop in his glass, reaching for the bottle to fill it up again.

“Shut up, chim,” Taehyung turned back towards the sea, “I have an idea but… I don’t know if
that’ll work or not.”

“What idea?” Jimin asked, eyeing Jungkook where Jungkook was filling up his glass.

“Can you take a photo of me?” Taehyung asked, on his back with his legs bent from the knees to
show off over the water level, “focus on that anklet.”

Jungkook glanced at the anklet in question. It was on Taehyung’s left ankle. A black thread with a
single seashell dangling from it.

Jimin arched over the edge to reach his phone.

“Why the anklet?” Jimin sat down with his phone focused towards Taehyung, “anything special
about it?”

Taehyung shook his head, “just a gift from him. When we went to Jeju. He keeps saying my ankles
look good.”

“A foot fetish,” Jimin nodded, focusing his phone on the anklet, “turn to look at the camera. Your
face won’t be on focus but it gives a luscious vibe.”

“God! I am not trying to seduce him!” Taehyung giggled, turning his head nonetheless, “okay?”
“Great!” Jimin clicked a few before handing the phone over to Taehyung.

Jungkook watched Taehyung’s legs move, the anklet moving along until it went under the water. It
wasn’t visible anymore.

“Have you two ever fucked?” Jimin asked, leisurely sipping from his glass.

Jungkook let Jimin’s legs rest beside his, touching, grounding. He reached for the bottle again.

“God! We are not like that,” Taehyung shook his head, “we just like to tease each other.”

“Playing around until one of you snaps,” Jimin looked at Jungkook, “why are you drinking so
much? This is your fourth glass!”

“I want to get drunk,” Jungkook shrugged, “sue me.”

Taehyung gave a throaty laugh. Jungkook’s eyes found him. Taehyung was reading something on
his own phone, lower lip bitten between his teeth around a smile.

“What?” Jimin asked, already smiling suggestively, “did he answer?”

“I will see you fellas later,” Taehyung hauled himself up from the mini-pool, sloshing the water,
“he wants to video call.”

“Phone sex! I like that!” Jimin called behind Taehyung.

Jungkook watched Taehyung wrapping the robe around his body, looking over his shoulder at
Jimin with a raised brow and a smirk. Taehyung gave a small shake of his head, snorting. Then
those eyes skid over to Jungkook.

For the first time since they left Seoul.

Jungkook’s grip on the champagne flute tightened so that his jaw won’t and he kept his gaze
focused on Taehyung who was looking at him with an unreadable expression. He held Taehyung’s
gaze and Taehyung held his.

Until Taehyung’s phone started ringing again. Taehyung jolted, looking down at the phone and
back up at Jungkook. Jungkook frowned, watching Taehyung hesitate. Then Taehyung turned
away, picking up the call and getting into the room to leave.

Jungkook’s eyes followed him until he couldn’t see Taehyung anymore.

“Hey, what’s in that bag?” Jimin asked, pointing at the bag Jungkook had left with his clothes.

Jungkook blinked, looking back at where Jimin was pointing. He shook his head and took a gulp of
the champagne.

“Nothing important.”

===&=&===

“I am so bored here, hyung,” Taehyung said, sitting on the bed with the phone clutched near his
face, “if you come here, we can explore the island too. Together. Come on.”

“Why are you bored?” Bogum chuckled, “aren’t you with the boys? In Bora-Bora?”
“I am,” Taehyung hummed, watching Bogum eat through the screen, “but… I miss you.”

“What happened?” Bogum wiped his mouth with a tissue and focused on the screen, “with him?
What went wrong this time?”

Taehyung didn’t even pretend to be shocked at the revelation that Bogum knew about Jungkook.
He just shrugged, looking over at the sea through his balcony, “there’s not much that went wrong
but now there’s this awkwardness. For no reason but… it started as nothing. He said something
stupid and not even harmful but we avoided talking about it. I thought I will talk about it when we
get here but I guess, we kept the silence on for long. Now he is behaving a little odd and I don’t
know what to…”

“Me being there will help?” Bogum asked, frowning, “Are you sure?”

“You need a break from your company drama and stalking Twitter to read negative posts. You can
do with a vacation and I want to talk to someone who is not Yoongi hyung,” Taehyung said,
sighing, “I mean, I don’t want him to take sides. He loves us both and he is both of our hyung. I can
see how uncomfortable it gets for him to choose one and I don’t want him to. You are just my
friend in this circle and you kind of don’t need to feel guilty for siding with me.”

“Is there a war or something?” Bogum grinned, “Choosing sides and all? Are we going to throw
pebbles at him? Or water balloons?”

“You know what I mean,” Taehyung laughed, “plus, you are free. Bora Bora is heavenly. We can
enjoy a few days of free time. No?”

“Are you sure, Tae?” Bogum looked uncertain, “I don’t want to invade and what if your hyungs
have problems?”

“You will have your own hut, we have plenty,” Taehyung counted on his finger, “you will pay for
yourself. You will be here for me. We can show it off on air as you coming for a vacation and us
being here is just a coincident. It will be just fine. Everyone here loves you anyway.”

“I don’t think Jungkook loves me,” Bogum smirked, “you know? He never liked me.”

“Well, he can barely take his eyes off his…” Taehyung stopped, failing in sounding nonchalant, a
petulant pout on his lips, “he won’t even care. And even if he did, fuck him.”

“Fuck him,” Bogum repeated with a grin, “let’s fuck those feelings away. Shove them in a bottle
and throw it into the ocean to carry away.”

Taehyung let out a deep sigh. It felt like a weight was sipping off of him. His smile was wider this
time when he nodded.

“Let’s do that when you get here. When are you coming?”

Bogum hummed, “I will try for tomorrow. I will book the tickets and call you.”

“See you, hyung,” Taehyung nodded with a smile, “good night.”

“Sleep well, Tae,” Bogum reached for the screen, “I will see you soon.”

Taehyung let the phone drop on the mattress before walking out on the balcony with his diary. He
sat on the chair, pulling his knees closer to his chest.
He opened the page where his pen was already tucked in.

The thoughts that haunted him since he saw Jimin and Jungkook coming back, Taehyung let them
get him this time. His mind imagined them on the yacht.

Did Jungkook hold Jimin against the railing like he held Taehyung on that air-balloon?

Did he hold out his spoon for Jimin to eat from?

Did they dance? God, did they dance?

It was their thing. His and Jungkook’s thing. But then… Jimin and Jungkook were known as the
dancing duo. So…

Taehyung blinked, lashes leaving moisture where they touched under his eyes. The possessiveness
burnt in him, leaving behind sadness when Taehyung reminded himself that Jungkook wasn’t
really his to be possessive about.

“Just don’t call him babe,” Taehyung let his pen glide over the blank page, “just don’t ever call
him babe.”

Taehyung heard the way his own breath hitched in his chest, “don’t take him to places you took
me to,” the pages fluttered against the wind, trying to move away.

Taehyung sat there, hand moving over the pages with words pouring out of him.

Tears didn’t roll out of his eyes anymore. There was not enough left. But his vision was blurring.

Yet Taehyung could clearly see the way Jimin had grinned at Jungkook and Jungkook’s answering
smile. They were happy. Complete in each other’s company. Complete with each other.

The pen trembled in his grip, leaving an ugly line on his otherwise neat writing.

“Do you feel possessive of moments?” Taehyung wrote, “Because I do. I feel possessive of places
you took me to. I feel possessive of the secrets you shared with just me. I feel terrified that one day
he will know those secrets of yours. Know you better than me. You will seek him when you are at
your lowest. When you want someone to hug you. You will share your playlists with him, let him in
on your choices. You will play your songs for the first time to him, not me like you do now. One
day you will let him wear my favourite shirts of yours. Your belongings will forget me, my touches,
and my presence, just like you. My absence won’t make you restless anymore. One day I won’t be
present in any of your memories solely. There will be no place in the world that belongs to just us.
There will be nothing you can identify as ‘ours.’ Our favourite drinks, our favourite cafes,
restaurants and riverbanks…you will share it all with him. You will share those evening walks
with him that used to be ours. You will take him to that ice-cream parlour you took me to. That best
noodle soup you make when I am sick? Just for me? He will know how that tastes from now on. He
will know how your favourite dish has extra spice. He will know your orders before you even
choose one. You will take him to those carnivals, you will show off your skills and win him soft-toys
and forget about my favourite rides or how we held hands when that drop came, every time. Our
favourite long drives will belong to him and you. That karaoke bar we go to? The songs we both
always sing along with? He will know it all. You will visit those places and remember him not me,
not us. He will replace me entirely in your heart and I will be the only one carrying the weight of
our memories together. How am I supposed to move on when I feel like I am breaking under this
weight, Jungkook? I don’t want to be sad over your happiness but I am not that selfless. It’s killing
me to know that I will watch it all happen right in front of my eyes. Tell me how am I supposed to
stand there and watch him replace me and become something even more important to you? Is there
a part of you I can keep for myself? That will just be ours? Tell me there’s something you will leave
only for us. Ours. Something I can live with. Knowing it belonged to us and it will never be his.
Where you are mine. Even if it’s just a memory. Give me something to hold onto when everything is
falling apart. Is there something like that, Gukkie?”

Taehyung didn’t expect an answer. He didn’t speak loudly or to anyone for an answer but he
wished someone gave him an answer. A way out.

He wanted a way out.

He wished there was a way out.

===&=&===

“Hyung?”

Yoongi looked over at where Jimin stood. Yoongi was sitting on the sand, looking ahead at the
sea. He patted the place beside him. Jimin followed silently, sitting down. Yoongi noticed the
small box in Jimin’s clutch. He eyed it for a moment before turning back towards the sea.

“For you,” Jimin placed the box on Yoongi’s lap, looking at him with a shy smile.

Yoongi raised his brows, taking the box and opening it.

A bracelet.

Yoongi plucked it off the box and in his palm. It was a black pearl bracelet with a white pearl
dangling from it. Yoongi looked over at where Jimin was looking at him.

“Wear it,” Jimin said, voice carrying with the sea breeze.

Yoongi unhooked it before circling it around his left wrist. He couldn’t click the hook. It was small
and the bracelet kept falling away.

Jimin sighed, reaching out and taking Yoongi’s wrist in his hands to knot it for Yoongi.

“Thank you,” Yoongi mumbled when it was done, looking down at the bracelet with a small smile,
“this is beautiful, Jiminie.”

“I know,” Jimin nodded, making patterns on the sand with his fingers now, “I knew it would look
lovely on you.”

Yoongi smiled at the boy next to him, “yeah? What did you buy for yourself?”

“An earring, it came as a pair,” Jimin looked at him, “can I tell you something, hyung?”

“Sure,” Yoongi touched the bracelet, feeling the pearls under his fingers, “what is it?”

“I think we should tell the boys we are dating when we go back,” Jimin looked ahead at the ocean,
“lay out the field. I have a plan.”

Yoongi’s fingers clenched around the bracelet, feeling the cold seep in him, “plan?”

“What if we let one of them walk in on us?” Jimin sounded thoughtful, tentative.
“Walk in on us?” Yoongi could feel the confusion and reluctance building in him, “doing what?”

“Making out?” Jimin sighed, chuckling, “you know? Kissing and all?”

Kissing Jimin. Just for show.

Yoongi looked ahead too, bidding time in the darkness. The tides were coming and going, leaving
behind trails and seashells on the beach. Yoongi watched a crab run towards a small hole, hiding in
the sand. He wished he could follow that crab right about now.

“But we will look awkward if that’s our first kiss, don’t you think?” Jimin asked, not noticing how
quiet Yoongi had gotten, “I think we should… you know, practice. Kissing each other.”

“What?” Yoongi coughed, eyes snapping back to where Jimin was sitting beside him, too close,
“what are you talking about?”

“Kissing, hyung,” Jimin sounded like he was explaining something simple to a toddler who just
didn’t grasp the meaning, “making out. We have to make it seem real.”

“Jiminie,” Yoongi wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. He hoped that single word explained his
inner turmoil.

“I thought,” Jimin was looking at him, the smile replaced by a look of hesitance, “if we do it
now…”

Yoongi tasted like coffee and the cigarette he just shared with Hoseok. He tasted sour. There were
no fireworks or sunset or sunrise. There were no shooting stars. There wasn’t any mistletoe or it
wasn’t one of their birthdays. It wasn’t a New Year. Zero o’clock. Like Yoongi’s imagination.

He had always imagined kissing Jimin under fireworks or a mistletoe. Maybe a sunset or sunrise,
both turning their heads to just soak in the warmth from each other, right in front of the sun to
witness it. Or maybe it could be one of their birthdays, it could be on the terrace. On a new year,
when the clock ticked on twelve. Midnight.

Maybe under a shooting star.

Yoongi had seen shooting stars twice in his life. Once he had wished to make it big in the industry
and the second time he had wished for Jimin to love him back.

There wasn’t a third time and Yoongi had stopped believing it after the second time anyway.

So to have Jimin looking at him, expectant and tentative. His eyes moving over Yoongi’s face
before falling on his lips, leaving Yoongi immobile.

There were stars in the sky, moonlight soft against the tides and softer against the sand. There were
no fireworks. No sounds except for the sounds of the tides and Yoongi’s loudly beating heart.
There were no shooting stars.

This was not something Yoongi had dreamt about.

But Jimin was just beside him. Their sides pressed together from their shoulders to their toes and
Yoongi didn’t really care how it happened. Nothing was like his dream anyway. They were not in
love. This was not real.

This was not real.

Yoongi leaned in first, sideways and a little low to reach Jimin. Tilting his head he stopped right
where his breaths bounced against those pouty lips.

“Are you sure?” Yoongi had to know.

At least tell me you want it. No matter how.

Jimin nodded, eyes on Yoongi’s lips, bobbing his throat, “yes.”

Yoongi pressed their lips together.

Jimin tasted of late nights. Those sleepless nights Yoongi had spent awake on the studio’s terrace.
Dreamless, restless yet so peacefully alluring. Silently coaxing Yoongi towards it. It made Yoongi
ache for things he would never have.

Like Jimin. He would never have Jimin.

Jimin let out a gasp, filling Yoongi’s lungs with more air than he could comprehend. He let his
hand fall between them, on Jimin’s cold ones. Their fingers found each other while their lips
started moving, learning the way the other moved.

Yoongi had to lean in a bit because Jimin was just there, immobile and stoic. His lips trembling
under Yoongi’s soft pecks. After three of them, Yoongi pulled back a little, letting his eyes find
Jimin’s.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi asked, squeezing the palm held in his, “Jiminie?”

Jimin blinked, suddenly turning his head away to cough. He nodded, breathing out a soft laugh.

“I am sorry, it’s just,” he looked down at their joined hands, “I was a little…”

“Disgusted?” Yoongi tried for a smirk and failed, “I am not a good enough kisser?”

“Overwhelmed,” Jimin mumbled, looking up to match Yoongi’s eyes, “I was being kissed by
Suga.”

Yoongi smiled, leaning in, “Yoongi.”

“Huh?” Jimin let Yoongi cup his face in his palm, pulling him closer tenderly.

“Jimin is being kissed by Yoongi,” Yoongi mumbled against Jimin’s lips and choked on a breath
when Jimin pulled him closer.

The kiss this time was not a peck. It made them both sigh, lips parting to welcome each other’s
taste. Jimin’s mouth tasted of something sweet, Yoongi smiled at the realization. Jimin was a
whiny kisser. He made sounds. His hands moved around until they found Yoongi’s shoulder,
clutching there. Yoongi kissed Jimin like he wanted to. For so long. Deep and penetrative. Their
tastes mixing on their tongues. Mouths parting around small puffs of breaths.

When they pulled away, they both were panting. Jimin’s lips were shining. Yoongi wanted to suck
on that lower lip, pull it in his mouth for one last time. Instead, he let his thumb wipe at it, taking
away the moisture.

Jimin’s eyes were glossy, a white dot at the corner of each iris where the moonlight reflected.
Yoongi let their foreheads touch.
“Was that okay?” Yoongi needed affirmation that Jimin at least liked it.

Jimin nodded, knocking their foreheads together in the process, “it was,” he hummed, “hyung?”

“Hmm?” Yoongi let his eyes drop on those lips again, once was not enough. It would probably
never be enough. No matter how many times he got to taste them.

“You taste of cigarettes,” Jimin mumbled, “why?”

Yoongi blinked, pulling back to look at Jimin’s frown and that small pout. A smile broke on his
lips before he was laughing. Laughing for no reason and just because of how overwhelmed he felt.
Laughing so hard that he fell on his back on the sand, giggling at the sky.

Jimin looked down at him with a deep frown now, pouty lips jutted out, “you promised you will
quit. What’s so funny about breaking a promise?”

“We kissed for the first time and that’s what you noticed, Jiminie?” Yoongi wiped at the corner of
his eyes, “seriously?”

“I don’t want you to die young,” Jimin huffed, looking ahead at the sea, “I don’t want to lose you.
Ever.”

Yoongi tugged at Jimin’s hand until Jimin was laying with him. Head resting on Yoongi’s arm and
face tucked against Yoongi’s chest.

“I will quit,” Yoongi pressed those words against Jimin’s hair, “Jiminie. It was just a few drags.”

“No more,” Jimin said, looking up at Yoongi, “I won’t kiss you otherwise.”

Yoongi arched a brow, “you kind of need my help here.”

“I will find someone else,” Jimin sounded petulant, hand clutching at Yoongi’s shirt, “someone
who doesn’t break their promises to me.”

“Don’t,” Yoongi smiled, “I kind of liked kissing you, Jiminie.”

He let himself be honest. Just for that moment. Just for that night. In that darkness, with no one
around to witness how deeply in love with Jimin he was. Yoongi let himself show a chunk of his
feelings.

Jimin hid his face against Yoongi’s chest, sighing, “don’t say shit you don’t mean.”

“I can show you,” Yoongi murmured, turning to fact Jimin, feeling the cold sand against his side
and the warmth radiating from Jimin, “if you want.”

Jimin grasped at his collar then, pulling him down, “then show me.”

Yoongi did. He let his lips find Jimin’s once again.

If everything went wrong then Yoongi would have this night. In Bora-Bora. He would bury these
memories right here, in the sand before leaving. If it was a mistake then at least it happened where
Yoongi would probably never come back to reminiscent.

===&=&===

“You kissed him?!”

 Taehyung paused by the door of Jimin’s room. His feet automatically taking him closer to the
wooden surface.

He waited, feeling the sleepiness of the early morning seeping off him as he heard a whine from
Jimin and giggles from Hoseok.

“I did,” Jimin said, “last night. Hyung…” Taehyung could imagine that dreamy smile on Jimin’s
face just from that voice, “I can’t believe I kissed him!”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell him how you feel right away!” Hoseok laughed, noises of the bed
creaking was heard so maybe Hoseok was jumping on it, “I can’t believe he kissed you back!”

“I am still processing this, hyung,” Jimin sounded forlorn, “it felt so good to finally kiss him. Right
in front of the sea and his hands. Hyung, his hands were so… the way they pulled my face
closer…”

Taehyung turned on his heels, walking away from that door. He found himself in the living room.

“Tae?”

Taehyung blinked, looking at Yoongi and Namjoon, sitting on the sofa with their laptops placed on
the tea-table in front of them.

“Good morning,” Namjoon said, giving Tae a small smile of acknowledgement.

Yoongi just looked, eyes skimming over Taehyung’s face. Taehyung walked towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Yoongi asked, following Taehyung with his eyes, “Tae?”

“I will take a walk,” Taehyung mumbled, “see you later, hyung.”

Maybe Yoongi understood his need for loneliness or maybe he didn’t catch the waver in
Taehyung’s voice, he let Taehyung walk away.

“I have written something,” Namjoon pointed at his notebook, “would you mind reading it?”

Yoongi reached for the notebook when Taehyung closed the door behind himself.

===&=&===

Chapter End Notes

TWITTER
 { I can't make you love me, if you don't }
Chapter Notes

I am going to drop the next week's update as I am leaving for a trip. Expect the next
chapter around 23rd March. Sorry for the delay in advance. x
.
Now a very special thanks to 'uniquegoddess' on Tumblr for making me this lovely
cover for the story.

You can send yours, if you make one, on my TUMBLR or TWITTER

WARNING – CHAPTER CONTAINS CROSS DRESSING. You have been warned.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“I didn’t get the ticket today,” Bogum sounded tired, “it is vacation time. Everything is booked. So
I got a ticket for tomorrow. I will see you tomorrow.”

Taehyung looked at the sea, nodding even when he knew Bogum couldn’t see him, “Sure thing,
hyung. See you tomorrow.”

“You sound odd,” Bogum mumbled, “everything alright?”

It wasn’t.

“Everything is fine, hyung,” Taehyung laid down on the sand, ignoring how his hair was getting
soaked in the damp sand, “don’t worry. I will see you tomorrow then?”

“Sure,” Bogum hummed, “bye for now. I need to pack my luggage.”

Taehyung hummed, cutting the call.

He watched the sky, feeling the emptiness in his bones. Jimin’s words were echoing around his
head, making him feel nauseous. Taehyung didn’t know how to forget that giddiness in Jimin’s
voice. He didn’t know how to approach the situation in his hands. He felt empty. A wrong kind of
empty where he didn’t even cry anymore. He was just there. Lying and thinking nothing. Those
words were crowding his mind and leaving no space for him to pierce through. He didn’t know
how to sort those thoughts too.

There were footsteps until a shadow hid the sky for Taehyung. Taehyung blinked and looked up to
see Jimin smiling down at him.

“What are you doing here?” Jimin asked, sitting down beside Taehyung, “your hair is going to be a
mess.”
Taehyung smiled, sitting up with a sigh, “yeah.”

“This is beautiful,” Jimin looked around, “so calm. Bora Bora is gorgeous, isn’t it?”

Taehyung looked over at the ocean, nodding with a hum. He said nothing. Not trusting his voice
yet. Not when Jimin understood him more than he did himself.

“I have something I wanted to tell you for a long time,” Jimin mumbled, looking at the sea too, “I
just didn’t know how to bring it up and…”

Taehyung didn’t want to hear. He wasn’t ready yet. He wasn’t ready to hear Jimin telling him how
he liked Jungkook and how everything between them worked out. He didn’t want to know the
details of who kissed first. Or who confessed first. He wasn’t ready.

“Jimin!”

Taehyung jumped when he heard that voice. He looked over his shoulder, along with Jimin, to see
Jin coming their way. Followed by everyone. Except Jungkook.

Jin had a huge grin on his face and others were just following him with small pouts on their faces.

“We are going to the yacht!” Jin exclaimed, “For a whole day we will roam around the islands or
stop at one of them and enjoy the day.”

“What?” Jimin looked at Jin, alarmed.

“The yacht,” Namjoon came to stand beside Jin with a sigh, “he wanted to go and he is dragging us
along with him.”

“A whole day on another island,” Yoongi looked nauseous, “you know, swimming, eating.
Resting. Blah blah. Oh, wait, we are doing just that here too!”

Jimin giggled at Yoongi’s faux astonished face while Jin swatted at him.

“It’s not blah,” Jin rolled his eyes, swatting at Yoongi again. He turned back towards the two of
them, that sour expression forgotten.

“It will be fun,” he almost jumped on the spot, “come on.”

Taehyung stood up. Any chance to not talk to Jimin about whatever he wanted to say.

“Sure, let’s go,” he said while brushing off the sand from his clothes, “let me change first.”

“Go and change,” Jin pointed at the bungalow, “and wake up Jungkook when you come back. We
will be on the yacht. Come soon though.”

“What?” Taehyung looked at Jin with a frown, “why didn’t you wake him up?”

“He was sleeping so peacefully,” Jin pouted, “I didn’t want to.”

“Why do I have to?” Taehyung could feel the losing battle when he fought one but he still tried,
“Jiminah, come with me. Wake him up.”

“I can do that,” Yoongi said, retreating towards the bungalow, “Come on.”

“No way!” Jimin jumped up to grab Yoongi’s arm, “he will go, wake kookie up and lock himself
in. No. You are coming with me to the yacht and Tae is waking kookie up.”

Taehyung whined, watching them walk away towards the road that would lead them to the yacht.
He turned towards the bungalow with a sigh.

===&==&===

Taehyung stepped into the shower, deciding to dress after washing away the sand from his hair. He
would wake Jungkook up afterwards. If he was not up by then.

He hummed a tune while drying himself after the shower. Taehyung looked at the robe and rolled
his eyes.

Why were there only silk robes around here? What happened to the towel ones? He was sure
Yoongi used both of theirs and forgot to replace them. Taehyung shrugged, pulling out a black silk
robe and wrapping it around himself.

The droplets fell from his strands, dampening the material while Taehyung unzipped his makeup
kit. He pulled out the sunscreen, pouring a little on his hands to rub over his face.

He shrugged his arms out of the robe, letting it stay tied to his waist so that he was hidden from
view but open enough to apply the sunscreen on his arms and upper body.

His left arm was done when the bathroom door opened. Taehyung’s eyes widened and he turned
with a hiss.

Jungkook blinked. He looked sleepy, hair messy and eyes puffy from sleep. Those eyes matched
Taehyung’s wide ones before following the route of a droplet that rolled down towards Taehyung’s
naval. Where the robe was knotted around him to reach his upper thigh.

Why was the robe so short?

Taehyung whipped around to hide himself. Only to realize he was facing the mirror. Taehyung
risked a glance and Jungkook was watching him.

Taehyung let out a shuddering breath before squaring up his shoulders and reaching for the
sunscreen.

“Everyone went to the yacht,” he mumbled, eyes fixed on the lotion, “get ready. We need to leave
too.”

When there was no answer, Taehyung risked a glance upwards. Only to find Jungkook still
watching him. There was heat coiling in Taehyung’s guts. He could see that gaze raking over his
body, stopping over the curve of his ass and then up to meet his eyes through the mirror.

“Why are you here still?” Jungkook sounded gruff, “for me?”

“I needed a shower,” Taehyung applied the sunscreen on his other arm, “now change.”

“I need a shower too,” Jungkook said, stepping forward and locking the door behind himself, “but
before that…”

Taehyung choked on a whimper when Jungkook turned him with force, pressing him against the
counter. He clutched at Jungkook’s shirt for balance when the younger stepped closer.

“What are you doing?” Taehyung gritted out, breathless.

“I am thinking of taking a shower,” Jungkook murmured, eyes roaming over Taehyung, “join me.”

Taehyung turned his head sideways when Jungkook leaned forward to capture his lips.

“Don’t you dare!” he hissed, “don’t touch me!”

“Why?” Jungkook’s arms caressed his hip, rubbing leisurely and setting every pore of Taehyung’s
body on fire, “because of that guy? Are you two going to fuck when he comes here?”

“What?” Taehyung pushed at Jungkook’s chest, “what the fuck are you saying?”

“I don’t know,” Jungkook mumbled, lips closer to Taehyung’s cheek, “you probably are waiting
for him to bend you over and…”

“You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do when you…” Taehyung couldn’t bring himself to
say it, not when his voice wavered so dangerously.

“When I, what?” Jungkook asked, eyes blazing, “when I am not fucking you?”

“Go away,” Taehyung turned back to face the mirror, “shower in your bathroom.”

“I want to do it here,” Jungkook mumbled near his ear, voice leaving goosebumps on Taehyung’s
skin, “right after I fuck you against this counter.”

“No,” Taehyung glared through the mirror, “I don’t want you anywhere near me anymore. We are
done.”

“What?” Jungkook frowned, “and you get to decide it alone, because?”

“Because I can,” Taehyung picked up the lotion to pour it on his hand, feigning nonchalance, “I am
not into this arrangement anymore.”

“Why?” Jungkook asked, hands coming to rest on Taehyung’s waist, squeezing there, “you are
suddenly…”

“Last night you and Jimin…” Taehyung hissed when he felt Jungkook’s hands tightening around
him, grip bruising almost.

“Whatever I and Jimin do is nothing that should come between the two of us?” Jungkook turned
Taehyung again, frowning at him, “what we have is nothing but sexual. I am not having sex with
Jimin. This was the arrangement. Why are you suddenly…”

“Because I am done,” Taehyung glared, “I don’t want to do this anymore and I don’t need to give
you any reason for that.”

There was a pause. Jungkook’s eyes were searching his face and Taehyung was fighting the
instinct to look away. Jungkook’s jaw ticked, shoulders going rigid.

“Are you and Bogum…”

“It has nothing to do with Bogum,” Taehyung glared, “it’s about us. I want an out. I don’t want this
anymore and if you still force yourself on me then you know what it means.”

Jungkook pulled back as if burnt. His eyes wide and hands outstretched as if he wanted to touch
Taehyung but couldn’t.
“You will come to me,” Jungkook took the bottle of sunscreen from Taehyung and turned him to
face the mirror again, “you will beg me to fuck you when we do it next time. I won’t force you. It
will be you. On your own, you will come to me.”

Taehyung sucked in a breath when cool hands touched his back, Jungkook massaging the lotion on
his back while keeping eye contact through the mirror.

“I will have you on your knees,” Jungkook murmured, hands rubbing over Taehyung’s shoulders,
squeezing at his back, “fuck your mouth first and then fuck you on your hands and knees.”

Taehyung bit down on his lower lip, glaring at Jungkook through the mirror, “fuck Jimin. I am not
going to do it with you ever again.”

Jungkook hummed, “we will see.”

Taehyung gasped when Jungkook hoisted him up on the counter to make him sit there. Taehyung
watched Jungkook going down on his knees. Taehyung pulled the robe up, putting his arms
through it and tying the knot securely before looking down where Jungkook was kneeling now. He
watched Jungkook take the bottle off the counter, pouring a generous amount on his palm before
taking a hold of Taehyung’s ankle.

Taehyung pressed down on his lips, watching Jungkook unhook that anklet and throw it over his
shoulder.

“Jungkook!” Taehyung gritted out, “that anklet is a gift!”

Jungkook shrugged, saying nothing. He let Taehyung’s leg rest on his shoulder, looking up at
Taehyung as he applied the lotion on Taehyung’s legs. Taehyung wanted to look away. The image
of Jungkook on his knees, Taehyung’s ankle on his shoulder while he applied the lotion, was too
much. Jungkook squeezed his leg, going through each toe before lathering his fingers to squeeze at
the pad of the foot.

Taehyung whimpered, breath catching in his chest when Jungkook kissed his foot. Soft pecks over
the sole of his foot. He looked away when Jungkook reached for his calf, squeezing it.

“I can do this,” Taehyung tried to pull his leg away, “you don’t have to.”

“Oh, I have to,” Jungkook’s grip on his ankle was tight, “I don’t want you to have rashes and all
because then you won’t be able to kneel for me. It will hurt more be bend on your hands and knees.
No?”

“Fuck you,” Taehyung tried to pull back again but Jungkook was stronger than him and Taehyung
couldn’t do anything but jostle him a little. Instead, he sat there and took the massage. Eyes
anywhere but on Jungkook. He closed his eyes every time Jungkook kissed his leg, ankle, the pad
of his foot or his curling toes.

Taehyung could feel himself hardening when Jungkook neared his thighs. He shook his head,
squeezing his legs together to stop Jungkook.

“Stop,” he gritted out, “I don’t need your help there!”

Jungkook smirked, “are you sure?”

“Yes,” Taehyung grabbed the bottle from Jungkook and pushed at him with his foot against
Jungkook’s chest. Jungkook fell on his ass, looking up at Taehyung.
“Now get out,” Taehyung pointed at the door, turning towards the mirror, “invest your time in
wooing Jimin. This is ridiculous…”

“It’s just sex,” Jungkook shrugged, hopping up on his feet, “there’s nothing wrong with that.
Right? We decided on it.”

“But I want an out now,” Taehyung placed the sunscreen down on the countertop and stared at
Jungkook through the mirror, “I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to be your hookup
buddy anymore. I am done. I can’t. I thought I could but I was wrong. I can’t.”

Jungkook had an intense look on his face. His brows pulling down on a frown.

“Why not?” Jungkook stepped closer when Taehyung dropped his head, not able to match those
eyes.

“Why can’t you do this anymore?” Jungkook asked, “Is this about that boyfriend thing? Taehyung,
I didn’t mean it. If that’s the reason then I am sorry. If something else is the reason then you have
to tell me. I am not leaving until you tell me why-”

“Because I love you,” Taehyung’s eyes found Jungkook across the mirror and he gave Jungkook a
wobbly smile, “And this is hurting me.”

For a second, which felt like eternity, Taehyung and Jungkook just stared at each other. The
bathroom engulfed in eerie silence except for the drops of water falling from the showerhead and
making a plopping noise on the tiles.

Then Jungkook was taking a step back as if the words finally hit him. Taehyung clenched his
hands in fists when he saw how Jungkook stumbled back as if Taehyung was poisonous to even
touch. That was his answer. Jungkook didn’t want him. He never would.

“What?” Jungkook’s voice was gruff and shaky, “what are you…”

Taehyung wiped at his eyes, letting out a shaky breath, “I don’t think this is a great idea. I can’t do
this anymore.”

“No,” Jungkook stopped him, “What did you say before that? You love me?” he sounded breathy,
disbelieving.

Taehyung felt tired all of a sudden. Too tired. But relieved. So relieved. He had confessed. That
pain was off his chest. The hope died, leaving behind a corpse of Taehyung who felt numb to
everything. Now he would have to face that rejection. But he realized soon that he didn’t have to
face rejection if that hope for Jungkook to return his feelings had died. After what Jimin said and
how Jungkook reacted, he had no doubts that Jungkook would never return his feelings. Now it
was just confirmed.

He lost hope the moment he realized he was standing between two people who didn’t even notice
him there. Who were uniting and Taehyung could not stop them. Instead, if he stood in the middle,
they would crush him and he was done breaking in pieces.

So now all he felt was the lightness in his chest. He knew there was no future. He stopped hoping
for it. He would never fall for that illusion of a dream again. So when he met Jungkook’s eyes this
time, he smiled a little.

“Shocking, I know,” Taehyung nodded, turning to face Jungkook who was staring at him with
wide eyes, “I never thought I would tell you but…” he shrugged, “I didn’t know confessions make
you feel lighter.”

“You love me?” Jungkook asked, voice not above a whisper.

“Yes,” Taehyung nodded, “And I want you to leave me alone.”

“Why?”

Taehyung raised his brow, “because I can’t have you like this anymore without my heart breaking.
I broke every time you touched me,” he tried hard not to let his voice waver, failed miserably, “but
every time your fingers drew patterns on me, my heart cracked. It broke along the pattern your
fingers drew on my skin. Whenever you talked about Jimin,” his vision was blurring, “it hurt. I
wanted to be the one you love. It hurt when I saw you… when I heard Jimin…” Taehyung wiped
at his eyes, “so I thought if I let you know how I feel, then I might have my closure. When I see
this expression you have right now, where you don’t know how to reject me without breaking my
heart, I think I found my closure.”

A hollow laugh escaped Taehyung’s lips when he pushed at Jungkook’s chest to move him aside.
He walked towards the door with determined steps. Just to stop by the doorframe.

“Don’t worry, Jungkook, nothing will change between us” he looked over his shoulder at where
Jungkook was standing with a smirk, “I won’t be a waste of a best friend at least.”

Jungkook’s head snapped up to match Taehyung’s gaze before Taehyung was walking off.

“The yacht,” Taehyung called over his shoulder, “I am leaving now.”

.
.

Taehyung closed the door of the bungalow behind him. Tears rolled out of his eyes but there was a
smile on his lips.

He had closed the door on Jungkook. He had to let those words go. His heart was heavy, too heavy
to keep going. He wiped at his eyes as he walked down the road.

Everything was swirling in his mind and Taehyung was glad that he said those words out loud. It
was time. He couldn’t hold everything in anymore. Not after today. Not after he heard Jimin say
they kissed. Taehyung found himself at the edge and he had to take that jump. So he did.

Taehyung didn’t turn back to see if Jungkook followed him or not.

===&==&===

“This is so beautiful!” Jimin was hopping on his feet, binocular set on his eyes to see the island
they were nearing.

Taehyung stood on the highest deck, the third one, feeling the breeze on his heated face. Yoongi
was right beside him. He hadn’t left Taehyung’s side for once. Not after Taehyung told him about
the confession.

“What do you want me to say?” Yoongi had asked, “I don’t know how you did it but it was the
best thing. You had to let go and that’s okay.”

“Just stay with me,” Taehyung had mumbled, “for today, don’t leave my side, hyung.”
Yoongi hadn’t. Not even when Jimin called for him to see the island through his binocular.

Jungkook was on the lower deck, beside Jimin. He had come to the yacht and almost glued himself
beside Jimin. Taehyung hadn’t looked at him since then, ignoring the pang in his chest.

“Cocktail?” the waitress came with a smile, balancing the tray on her hands even when the yacht
moved along the waves.

Taehyung took a glass, sipping lightly. He looked down at where Jin had his arms around
Namjoon’s neck, both of them kissing against the railing with Hoseok shouting about them being
cheesy and all.

A smile tugged at Taehyung’s lips.

“I can’t believe these two are not dating,” He mumbled to Yoongi who was watching them too.

“It’s better,” Yoongi sighed, “when feelings aren’t involved, it’s easy.”

“Right,” Taehyung mumbled, nodding.

“Guys!” Jimin shouted to get their attention.

Taehyung and Yoongi looked down at him to see Jimin waving upwards with a grin. Jungkook
nowhere to be found.

“Come on,” Jimin pointed at the land, “we are near the island. Come down.”

Taehyung nodded, “okay.”

He turned to leave when Yoongi held his wrist.

“If he ever bothers you,” Yoongi mumbled when Taehyung turned to face him, “you tell me. I will
be there for you, Tae. Just tell me.”

Taehyung smiled, warmth filling in him, “I know, hyung.”

“If you need to talk or if you need anyone to be present when it feels like nothing is going right, I
will be there,” Yoongi continued, voice firm, “you will always have me. So it doesn’t matter if I
am in my studio or if I am asleep or away. Just call me or come to me. I will make sure you don’t
feel alone. You are not alone in this.”

Taehyung could feel his eyes blurring. So he leapt forward, hugging Yoongi and hiding his face
against Yoongi’s chest.

“I will find you,” Taehyung mumbled, “I don’t have anyone else I can count on anyway, hyung.”

“You can count on me and that’s enough,” Yoongi hugged him back, “broken hearts’ club.
Remember?”

Taehyung slipped on a wobbly laugh and nodded, “just the two of us.”

===&==&===

There were a lot of activities one could do in the beach-huts of the island they landed on. Everyone
was playing volleyball on the beach. While Yoongi sat under an umbrella.
Taehyung discarded his clothes, wearing just his boxers while placing a towel on the sand.

“Hyung, join me,” he called to Yoongi, “you can do with some vitamin D.”

“I will take a pill for that,” Yoongi called over his shoulder, “no burning under the sun for that.”

Taehyung giggled, laying on his chest and resting his cheek against his joined hands. He closed his
eyes, feeling the sun over him, warming him comfortably.

“Jungkook!” Jin’s shout was heard over the sounds of the tides, “what are you doing today?”

“He literally got hit by a ball in the face,” Jimin giggled, “he is not here with us! Oh, God! Where
are you lost?”

“Focus!” Hoseok shouted, “we are losing to them! They are terrible at this game! Come on!”

Jungkook mumbled something, an apology.

Taehyung arched his back, feeling his skin burning under the sun. He looked over at where the
boys were playing and where Yoongi was sitting under that umbrella.

“Hyung!” he whined, “apply some sunscreen on my back for me? It’s burning!”

“For fuck’s sake!” Yoongi glared, “why can’t you just come here and sit under the umbrella?”

“I want to tan a little,” Taehyung pouted, lips jutting out and eyelashes flattering, “please, hyung?”

“God, you are whiney,” Yoongi smirked, getting up, “where is the sunscreen?”

“In Jin hyung’s bag,” Taehyung grinned, “he always carries a bottle.”

Yoongi nodded, going to the older and asking him where his bag was. Taehyung followed Yoongi
with a lazy gaze. His eyes trailing over everyone as Yoongi stepped between the net and asked Jin
about his bag. Taehyung smiled when he saw Jimin stomping his foot, holding onto the ball. It was
probably his throw. Then his eyes skid over and Taehyung’s smile dimmed.

Jungkook had his arm around Jimin, smiling at whatever Jimin was saying. Jimin was still whining
and pouting at Yoongi, head leaning back against Jungkook. Jin was grinning and pointing at
somewhere off the side. For his bag maybe.

Yoongi patted Jimin’s head, smiling at him before turning towards the direction Jin pointed.

Jungkook turned to look towards Taehyung and Taehyung buried his face in his arms, sighing.

.
.

“This is literally a sexual pose!” Yoongi muttered, sitting over Taehyung’s ass and massaging the
lotion on his back, “this is not something a bro should do to his other bro.”

“Bro, I literally told you how I confessed and got rejected,” Taehyung hummed, “I am far away
from getting hard. If you are getting hard…”

“My love is literally in your love’s arms,” Yoongi deadpanned, “my cock is as limp as it goes.”

Taehyung giggled, looking over at Yoongi who was grinning back at him, “we are laughing at our
misery or what?”

“I am a masochist, I knew,” Yoongi nodded, the gummy smile on clear view, “didn’t think you
were too.”

“Broken hearts’ club doesn’t accept membership application until you are a masochist,” Taehyung
turned back to place his chin on his joined hands, “now come on. Your massage is so good. I can
pay you to do this to me.”

Yoongi started kneading his flesh, pressing down along the spine and eliciting moans from
Taehyung.

Yoongi went back to his legs, kneading there too. Taehyung was letting out soft noises of approval,
arching his back when Yoongi popped his toes.

“God!” Taehyung moaned, “you are good at this!”

“I know,” Yoongi grunted, working on Taehyung’s calf muscles.

“God, you two are minutes away from fucking!”

They both jumped, looking over to where Hoseok was standing beside them with a wicked grin.
The others right beside him.

“I thought they were already doing it!” Namjoon peeked over Hoseok’s shoulder, “look at their
position.”

“They would make a nice couple, don’t you think?” Jin cooed, leaning against Jungkook.

Taehyung sighed, feeling Yoongi do the same.

“If you all are done shipping us,” Yoongi pointed at where the appetizers were placed on a table
for them to consume, “go and have something to fill the emptiness of your stomach. For your brain,
there’s nothing though.”

Taehyung giggled, looking back at where Jimin was smiling too. He winked at Jimin and Jimin
giggled.

“Taehyung looks sexy though,” Jimin grinned, “fuckable. I would if I didn’t love him as a platonic
soulmate.”

“He is very supple though,” Hoseok nodded, eyeing Taehyung, “damn, your skin is smooth.”

“Stop ogling me!” Taehyung whined, hiding his face in his arms, “go away. Hyung, tell them to
leave.”

“You heard the boy,” Yoongi pointed at the table again, “Fuck off!”

“If I ever get bored of Jin,” Namjoon pointed at Taehyung, “Can I come to you?”

Everyone snickered when Jin pinched Namjoon, hard, much to Namjoon’s chagrin.

“If you ever get bored,” Taehyung gave a wink, “I am right here.”

“Fuck,” Namjoon grinned, “cool. Let’s go and eat now.”

“I am not going anywhere with you,” Jin rolled his eyes, marching away.

“Do I need to go behind him?” Namjoon whined, looking back at his friends. When everyone
nodded, he followed Jin with a whine.

“Come and eat,” Jimin pointed at the table where Hoseok was already sitting, “come on.”

Yoongi nodded, “you go, I will join soon.”

Taehyung went back to hiding his face in the towel, sideways and eyes closed.

“Jungkook,” Yoongi sounded guarded, “go.”

Taehyung stilled, listening for footsteps. There was a sigh before he heard the footsteps, someone
moving away.

“Do you want to drink something?” Yoongi asked after he was done massaging Taehyung.
Taehyung nodded.

“Get me one of those strawberry juices,” he sat up, leaning back on his arms and looking at the
ocean.

“Gotcha,” Yoongi went away.

.
.

They decided to play volleyball after lunch too. Taehyung went for a dip into the ocean. He let the
wave move him around until he was somewhat standing on steady feet. After taking a dip, he
started swimming. The cool water was soothing his fried nerves. Taehyung turned on his back,
floating.

Thoughts swirled around his head like the waves crashing against him. When he felt the jolt rather
strongly, he looked sideways to see Jungkook and Jimin coming his way.

“I was suggesting skinny dipping,” Jimin came to float beside Taehyung, “but Jungkook here said
it would be too much.”

Taehyung grinned, “I am kind of thinking about skinny dipping too,” he looked over at where the
other boys were, “but not now. I might do it back in our bungalow’s pool.”

“I did that the first day,” Jimin shrugged, “me and Hobi hyung.”

“Ew!” Taehyung made a face, “that’s nasty!”

“Oh, please!” Jimin rolled his eyes, splashing water at Taehyung, “as if you and Jungkook never
went skinny dipping.”

Taehyung’s smile faded. He looked at where Jungkook was, looking awkward and trying hard not
to match Taehyung’s eyes.

“We haven’t,” Taehyung hoped he sounded assuring, if Jimin was jealous, “trust me.”

“I find it hard to believe but alright,” Jimin turned to Jungkook, “this fellow over here is saying he
can outrun me in a swimming competition. Would you be a darling and be the referee for us as we
swim?”
Taehyung sighed, “Sure. Go ahead.”

“I will beat your ass, Kookie,” Jimin grinned, tugging at him and taking him away from Taehyung,
“We will swim towards Taehyung and the first person who touches him, wins.”

Taehyung floated, nodding. Jungkook nodded too. Eyes fixed on Taehyung.

Taehyung watched them take the position and held up his hand. When he dropped the hand into
the water, they started swimming.

It was ridiculous how fast Jungkook swam. His body cutting through the water with ease and every
push taking him far away from Jimin who was struggling to even him out.

Taehyung watched Jungkook and Jungkook’s eyes found him, his speed quickening. There was a
moment where Taehyung heard nothing. Not the waves crashing against the beach, not the water
splashing because of them. Nothing.

All he saw was Jungkook swimming towards him and all he heard was Jimin’s words.

“We kissed.”

It crashed against his skull like the waves were crashing against the sand. It hurt like the burn on
Taehyung’s skin from the sun. It stung like the salt felt against his burnt skin.

It collided against his skull like Jungkook collided with him. Arms flailing, Taehyung stumbled,
almost falling back into the water if not for Jungkook’s arms, holding him uptight.

Taehyung stumbled forward, into Jungkook’s arms. For a second all he could feel was Jungkook’s
arms locking around him and how their whole body touched. Skin against skin.

Taehyung turned his head, nose brushing against Jungkook’s cheek before he pulled away.

Jungkook’s arms tightened more for a second before he was stumbling away from Taehyung, eyes
hooded.

“Fuck, you are fast!” Jimin huffed, breathing heavily when he reached them, “I can’t believe I
lost.”

Taehyung swiped at his hair, pushing the locks away from his face, “he won.”

“Right?” Jimin came to place his arm around Taehyung’s shoulder, “he swam as if you were a
prize or something.”

Taehyung huffed out a chuckle, “I am a prize, baby, just way out of his reach.”

Jimin grinned and Taehyung winked. When he followed Jimin’s eyes, they found Jungkook’s
observant ones. They were set on him, piercing and intense. It made Taehyung’s stomach flutter
with nerves. Taehyung looked towards the beach where Yoongi was sleeping on a lounger.

“Let’s get him into the water!” Jimin mumbled what Taehyung was thinking, already swimming
towards the shore.

Taehyung followed, only to be pulled back by his wrist. He looked up at Jungkook who had an
intense look on his face.

“We are not done talking,” Jungkook mumbled, “You can’t say shit like that and think we are
done. I have questions and you have to answer them.”

Taehyung wrenched his hand free before moving away. His heart was beating against his ribcage,
making him breathless. He said nothing, swimming out of Jungkook’s reach. But he felt those eyes
following him until he was standing on the sand, running towards Yoongi to hoist him up.

===&==&===

“This is so perfect,” Jin sighed, all of them sitting on the beach with a bonfire in the middle. There
were drinks and treats passing from hands to hands. Yoongi had a guitar, playing with the strings
while Jimin hummed a song. His head resting on Yoongi’s shoulder.

“Let’s play something,” Hoseok placed the bottle in the middle, “never have I ever?”

Everyone nodded in agreement.

“The one who lies and if found out, have to wear a costume we provide,” Jin grinned, “No protests
will be heard. Cool?”

“Cool,” everyone agreed together.

The yacht was waiting by the shore, to take them away to the main island of Bora-Bora but they
were not in hurry. Instead, they watched the sunset before starting a bonfire.

Taehyung pushed a marshmallow into the fire with a stick, watching the fire envelope it.

“Never have I ever sent a nude to someone,” Jin started the game, watching everyone with a grin.

Taehyung groaned, taking a sip of his beer. Everyone laughed when Hoseok took a sip too.

“You nasty dicks!” Jin giggled, “Really?”

“Well,” Taehyung shrugged, “I am wild in sex.”

He grinned when everyone groaned about too much information.

“Is it Bogum?” Jimin wiggled his brows, “who got that nude?”

“Moving on,” Taehyung held his drink up, “never have I ever,” he looked at Jimin with a smirk,
“had a threesome.”

“Fuck you,” Jimin took a sip and everyone chocked on their gulps when Namjoon, Hoseok and
Yoongi followed.

“Who you three had a threesome with?” Jin asked, outraged.

Yoongi had a grimace on his face, “Each other.”

“Oh, fuck!” Taehyung didn’t know who said it but he agreed.

“You three?!” Jungkook looked shocked, “really? Who was fucked?!”

“Me,” Hoseok held his hand up, “now moving on…”

“I am never moving on from this!” Jin shook his head, “oh, my God!”

“Where? How? Eww!” Jimin made a face, eyes on Yoongi.

“It was almost eight years ago, for fuck’s sake,” Yoongi deadpanned, “we were literally rookies.
Nothing happened after that. Never. It was a drunken thing. Ugh.”

“Thinking about it makes me cringe,” Hoseok hummed, “I mean, come on, you can’t think we
would do it now.”

“Not after you all came,” Yoongi looked at Jimin, looking away when he saw that pout Jimin
directed at him, “now next question.”

“Never have I ever fucked one of my teachers,” Jimin took a sip while asking the question.

Taehyung and Jin took a sip too.

The game went on until it was Jungkook’s turn. He held up his drink and looked at Taehyung
across the fire.

Taehyung could see the flames leaping between them, somewhat hazing Jungkook’s face for him.
Fire flakes reaching out for the sky and blowing with the wind. There was a moth, rounding around
the flames, coming close enough to burn itself and moving away just to return.

Taehyung waited, hand gripping the bottle and feeling the coldness against his touch, watering the
mist and leaving his palms moisten.

“Never have I ever fucked one of the group-mates,” Jungkook murmured, eyes piercing through
the fire and colliding with Taehyung’s wide ones.

Yoongi, Jin, Hoseok, Namjoon took a sip and gasped when Jungkook did too.

Everyone’s eyes moved together and moved on Taehyung. Taehyung gulped his saliva, looking at
Jungkook with locked jaw and then back at the members.

“What?” he asked, raising a nonchalant, he hoped, brow, “what are you all looking at?”

“For you to drink?” Jin said, “Jungkook took a sip so he did it. With you, right?”

“It can be literally any one of you hoes,” Taehyung pointed a finger at them all, “it can be Jimin.”

“It is you,” Hoseok pressed, “it has to be you. Jungkook has no hots for Jimin.”

“Hey!” Jimin protested and then smirked at Taehyung, “Well, hyung is not wrong though.”

“It’s not me,” Taehyung shook his head, “now for the next question…”

“It’s you,” Jungkook spoke, voice even and devoid of any emotion, cutting Taehyung’s words in
the middle, “we fucked.”

Taehyung felt his grip loosening around the neck of the bottle and when it almost slipped out of his
grip, he clutched at it with more force. He glared at Jungkook, only for the guy to watch him back.
Taehyung was jostled by Jin and Jimin, laughing and telling him he had to wear that costume now
for lying.

“I can’t believe you two finally did it!” Jimin grinned, “God, the tension between you two is
always so palpable!”

“Pay up, bitch,” Hoseok held his hand out for Namjoon, “I told you they were doing it.”
“I should have listened to my subconscious so now I wouldn’t lose this amount!” Namjoon pulled
out his wallet, “I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming.”

“I can’t believe none of us noticed or heard anything! Damn, you sneaky pieces of shit!” Jin
grinned, slapping Taehyung’s shoulder.

Yoongi had a frown on his face, eyes on Taehyung and then back at Jungkook.

Taehyung just glared at Jungkook.

How could he say that? Why did he say that? Now his persuasion of Jimin would be difficult.
Didn’t he understand that now Jimin would be reluctant to go out with him, knowing him and
Taehyung fucked? What was Jungkook doing?

“Go, wear the costume and come back,” Jin had a wicked gleam in his eyes. Taehyung stood up
after a lot of shoves and teasing, looking at the hut Jin had placed their bags in.

“You brought a punishment costume?” Namjoon asked, “You planned this game since the
morning?”

“I planned a punishment since I came here,” Jin winked, “knew we would play something and
punishments will be on their way. This is just a top-notch punishment because the dress...” he
winked, “you will see when Taehyung comes back.”

Taehyung cursed Jin mentally before walking away.

===&==&===

“Oh, God!” Taehyung whined when he looked at himself in the mirror of the hut.

It was a black body-hugging silk dress that had noddle straps tied as a bow over his shoulders and
the sides were drew upwards with two strings to shorten the length of the dress so it just hit
Taehyung’s upper thighs and hid the arch of his ass meeting his legs. A little risky manoeuvre and
anyone could see that lacy black panty underneath or the globe of his ass.

Taehyung turned his back to see the way the dress hugged him. His shape clear through the fabric.
Every curve pointed out because of the way the silk wrapped around him. Taehyung ignored those
high-heels and padded out of the hut on his barefoot. He was fuming.

When he approached the boys, everyone took an once-over and started giggling. Jin and Jimin
were almost rolling on the sand, shouting about how their stomachs hurt.

Namjoon whistled, reminding Taehyung that he had promised him a fuck. Yoongi just smiled,
winking at him when Taehyung pouted. Hoseok pulled out his camera, clicking Taehyung’s photos
while Taehyung protested.

“Turn around and show us your ass,” Hoseok hollered, “That curve, my goodness! No wonder our
maknae has hots for him.”

“Jungkook doesn’t have hots for me,” Taehyung sat with his legs crossed sideways, feeling the
warm sand against his skin, “it was just a mistake. Now let’s move on. Shall we?”

Everyone agreed, murmuring about how sexy Taehyung looked.

“Just those high-heels and a little makeup, I will ask you for a lap-dance,” Namjoon winked.
“Let’s start the game now,” Jimin nudged Taehyung’s side, “sexy, you start.”

So the game continued.

===&==&===

Taehyung refused to change once the game was over. He pointed at them and said he would go
back to the bungalow wearing the dress because if they made him wear it then they would have to
face the second-hand embarrassment of walking with him to the bungalow.

No one had anything to say. So Taehyung found himself on the yacht, enjoying the cool breeze
against his skin.

“Can we stop in the middle of the ocean and just be here for a few hours? It's kind of very calming
here.” Namjoon asked the captain of the yacht.

“Sure,” the man, David, nodded, “just tell us when you want us to move.”

Namjoon went back to the deck where everyone was enjoying the view. Jin moved a little when
Namjoon came to sit beside him. Namjoon smiled at the offered glass of wine and turned his head
to capture Jin’s mouth in a kiss.

A kiss that was refused when Jin turned his face away. There was a pout on his lips Namjoon
knew very well.

“I would never go for Taehyung,” Namjoon tilted Jin’s chin with his index finger, “you know I
won’t, ever.”

Jin sighed, facing Namjoon, eyes on those smiling ones, “I didn’t know about you, Hobi and
Yoongi.”

“There’s nothing to know,” Namjoon mumbled, nudging Jin’s jawline with his nose, “it was before
you.”

“There were plenty after me too,” Jin whispered, “but we promised no guys. We are our last
experience as men.”

Namjoon’s smile dimmed, “I remember.”

“You better,” Jin captured his lips, pulling Namjoon closer, “because I will have to let you marry
off because you need a family but I would never let you have another man. Just me.”

“Just you.”

.
.

Hoseok looked at his phone. The message was bright in the darkness of the sea.

“I am getting married. Next month. Hope…”

He blinked to wipe away the sting in his eyes. His ribcage closing in on his heart. Hoseok wiped at
his eyes, turning fully towards the sea to take a gulp of the wine. He wished it was whiskey though.
Something to burn his bones to free his heart from that tight clutch.

He was getting married.

Hoseok chuckled. Here he was, money flowing like the sea under his feet. Luxury pouring down
his throat like that finest wine. Yet he was surrounded by darkness just like then, on that yacht. He
was paying for the luxury with his heart. Sacrificing something, someone, he never wanted to lose.

He was getting married.

Hoseok was invited.

.
.

Yoongi stood against the railing on the first-floor, looking out at the calm ocean. It was not
glistening today. Because the moon was hidden behind clouds. There were a lot of thoughts
Yoongi had in his mind. About Taehyung and what Jungkook said. About the way Jungkook had
looked at Taehyung throughout the trip today. About how Taehyung looked so aloof yet
vulnerable throughout the day.

There was a whisper of air and then someone was tugging at him to come and stand between him
and the railing. Yoongi blinked, focusing his sight on Jimin’s gentle face.

“You look like a pirate, hyung,” Jimin smiled, “with a sword and long hair, you will make an evil
pirate.”

Yoongi let his lips twitch upwards, just the corners, “then what does that make you? The captured
prince of South Korea?”

“Maybe?” Jimin tilted his head, leaning against the railing and reaching out to pull Yoongi closer
by his shirt, “what will you do to your captive, master?”

Yoongi laughed, “Is Taehyung busy to do a roleplay with you?”

“He is,” Jimin gestured towards the top-most deck, “I walked in on them almost kissing.”

Yoongi frowned, “what? Who?”

Jimin’s smile dimmed a little, “He and Jungkook.”

“Why are they kissing?” Yoongi tried to pull away, go for the deck above, but Jimin was pulling
him back with both of his hands now.

“They are not kids,” Jimin mumbled, “let them figure out whatever is the matter with them.
Hyung.”

Yoongi sighed, inhaling deeply before turning back towards Jimin.

“You are right,” he nodded solemnly, “I just don’t want them to get hurt, that’s all.”

“I know,” Jimin tugged him back to press against Jimin, “but you have to understand they are
adults. Let them decide what they are doing. Yeah?”

Yoongi nodded, giving Jimin a small smile, “my captive is intelligent, I see.”

Jimin grinned, frown wiped off, “so he is. What would you do about that?”

“I might kiss him as a reward for such a good idea,” Yoongi played on, arms coming to cage Jimin
against the railing, “a prince being kissed by a pirate. Is he ever going to be accepted by the
royalty?”

“Kiss me,” Jimin mumbled, arms tugging at Yoongi’s shirt, “hyung.”

“What?” Yoongi blinked, “I thought we were…”

“This is still a game,” Jimin shrugged, “pretending, practice, remember?”

Yoongi stared. Right. They were role-playing since the start. None of these was real.

So he pressed forward, capturing those lips to silence because Yoongi didn’t want to listen
anymore.

Pretending. Practice. Piercing.

The sensation of Jimin’s lips on him was piercing through his heart. Cracking it open even more.
Yet Yoongi pressed forward.

Pathetic.

He was pathetic.

.
.

Taehyung felt Jungkook before he was even close enough. He felt those eyes on him, burning,
scorching him before Jungkook even touched him. He anticipated that touch and yet it made him
shudder.

Those arms came to find his hips, the squeeze right after was expected yet Taehyung felt heat
coiling in his abdomen.

“You menace,” Jungkook’s lips were on his shoulder, teeth tugging at Taehyung’s strap, teasing it
as if Jungkook would tug it undone, “it’s taking everything in me to not bend you over right here.”

“For a guy who is still a pup in fucking another guy, you do talk some big shit,” Taehyung swirled
his wine in the glass, taking a sip with a snort.

The press of solid chest against his back made him almost choke on his sip. Taehyung focused his
gaze on the horizon. In the darkness he saw nothing, leaving his senses piqued.

“For a slut, you do have a bratty mouth,” Jungkook murmured, tugging the bow of Taehyung’s
strap undone with his teeth, “you have such a shitty mouth. Spurting things you don’t mean.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Taehyung let the left side of the dress’ strap fall off his
shoulder, leaving it bare.

“I am talking about your confession,” Jungkook mumbled, “how you can mean it when you were
bending over for whoever looked your way the whole day. First Yoongi hyung,” his grip tightened
around Taehyung, “then Namjoon hyung. Then some dude you sent your nudes to.”

“It was ages ago and even if I whore around, it’s none of your business,” Taehyung kept his head
high, trying to hold onto the railing as tightly as he could.

“Mmm,” Jungkook hummed, open mouth leaving kisses against Taehyung’s bare shoulder to his
back to his right shoulder, “did you mean it? The confession.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Taehyung shrugged, dismissive, “I do however feel horny. So we
can fuck.”

Jungkook looked puzzled when Taehyung turned towards him. Good. Puzzled was good.
Taehyung liked puzzling him.

“Where do you want me?” Taehyung pointed at the lounger, “there? I can ride you there. Or in one
of those cabins?”

“What?” Jungkook looked shocked, eyes a little wider.

Taehyung smirked, “I mean, I am a slut who is horny. Your dick works for me. Let’s fuck. It
means nothing anyway.”

“Are you bipolar?” Jungkook grabbed at his arm, tugging him forward, “what are you doing?”

“Fucking with you,” Taehyung gritted out, “because that’s all we did. Like you said. We fucked.
We will fuck tonight too because you are horny and so am I. That’s all. No feelings attached.
Remember?”

“But you have feelings for me apparently,” Jungkook’s lips twisted, “what about that?”

“I have feelings for you for a long time,” Taehyung shrugged, “it doesn’t come between fucking. I
know how to separate those two.”

“I can’t believe you are…” Jungkook combed a frustrated hand through his hair, “you are so
confusing.”

“Then don’t try to understand me,” Taehyung grabbed at Jungkook’s collar and pulled him closer,
“fuck me, Jungkook. This is your last time with me. Fuck me however and wherever you want. For
the last time because after tonight, I will not let you anywhere near me. I will move on. So this is
my last indulgence in you too. So fuck me.”

Jungkook surged forward, lips seeking Taehyung’s moving ones. Taehyung turned his head
sideways.

“You don’t get to kiss me anymore.”

“What?” Jungkook was already squeezing his ass, pulling the dress up to feel those globes under
his palm, “What the fuck does that mean?”

“That means,” Taehyung glared at the man in front of him, “you don’t get to kiss me. Ever again.”

You kissed Jimin consciously. You will never kiss me again.

“I came here to talk to you first,” Jungkook shook his head, “we need to talk about…”

“Nothing,” Taehyung pushed at Jungkook’s chest, “we have to talk about nothing. We will have
sex and that’s it. That was our agreement anyway.”

Taehyung would distract Jungkook enough to make him stop talking about the confession.
Taehyung would do anything to distract himself from that confession. From that silent rejection.

If this was the last time Taehyung had Jungkook like this then Taehyung would just let it be
physical and nothing more. Nothing more than that.
“No,” Jungkook grabbed at Taehyung’s wandering hands, “we need to talk.”

“You come here,” Taehyung pointed at his bare shoulder, “try to undress me to talk?! What is
there to talk about anyway?”

“You said…”

“I love you?” Taehyung flared his hands, “so fucking what?! It’s just feelings. They will go away.
Can you drop it?”

“I can’t!” Jungkook shouted, “I can’t when I can’t stop thinking about it! You know I like Jimin
and now that you said it I can’t…”

Taehyung’s shoulders sagged. He turned on his heels to look out at the ocean again, “you like
Jimin. That’s all we need to remember and think about.”

“What does that mean?” Jungkook tugged at Taehyung’s elbow.

“It means,” Taehyung glared when he was forced to face Jungkook, “that you love Jimin and that’s
all that matters. To you and me. My feelings will go away with time. And if you are thinking I will
come between the two of you, fuck right off, because I would never do that to you or him. I don’t
want you to return my feelings.”

“Then what do you want?” Jungkook sounded guarded.

Taehyung started re-doing his strap, looking at it to avoid those piercing eyes, “I just wanted to let
the weight off my chest. I want nothing in return. I fell for you with no expectations. I never
wanted or needed you to return my feelings. Yes, it hurt to know that you like my best friend but
no, I am not going to be a bitch about it. That’s not me. My self-respect would never let me come
between two people who might actually have a chance of being together. And if you,” Taehyung
pointed a finger at Jungkook, “feel sorry for me, ever, and try to tell me you like me too after
today, I will never talk to you again. I don’t need your pity and I refuse to be your rebound
anything. You got it?”

Taehyung stopped to breathe properly. His eyes already on Jungkook.

Jungkook looked at him as if Taehyung was a mystery he couldn't figure out. Taehyung gave him
time to go through those words. He brushed at the dress he was wearing and sighed.

“Now that you have killed the mood for sex,” Taehyung let his lips twitch, “can we please go back
to being best friends? I miss you. In this sex and feelings and crap, I feel like I lost my Gukkie and
that’s unacceptable.”

“You can stay best friend with me after…” Jungkook coughed, “you know…”

Taehyung smiled, head tilting sideways, “I will give up my feelings any day for my friendship with
you, Jungkook. Never doubt that.”

Jungkook’s tongue pushed against his cheek while he observed Taehyung.

“And if I get together with Jimin, then? Will you be able to stay my friend?”

“I will always be your best friend,” Taehyung sighed, looking out at the sea, realizing it was true,
the words he was speaking, “I don’t want to lose this friendship.”
 When Jungkook hugged him from behind, Taehyung wiped at his eyes. Smile wobbly but gentle
nonetheless.

“You gotta stop being a dick to me though,” Taehyung mumbled, “say sorry.”

“I am sorry,” Jungkook mumbled, “for hurting you. Knowingly and…” his lips ghosted over
Taehyung’s shoulder and Taehyung sucked in a breath when they pulled back, not kissing him,
“unknowingly. I won’t ever do that again.”

“Good,” Taehyung mumbled, “now give me your jacket. I am fucking freezing and I hate this
dumb dress.”

The jacket wrapped around him and Jungkook came to stand beside him. They stood beside each
other.

“I will miss fucking you though,” Jungkook mumbled, “You were the best sex I ever had.”

Taehyung threw his head back when he laughed, loud and carefree. When he looked down,
Jungkook was watching him. There was a gentleness in those eyes that cut through Taehyung’s
heart.

He shrugged, looking ahead at the darkness, “you will fuck others soon and forget how I felt under
your touch. Trust me.”

Jungkook said nothing. His jaw locked. Eyes ahead at the darkness.

“What is this in your pocket?” Taehyung asked, palming a box, “a ring?”

“No,” Jungkook shook his head, “a waist-chain.”

“For Jimin?” Taehyung asked, pulling it out from the pocket and opening the box to drop the
content in his hand.

“No,” Jungkook shook his head, risking a glance at Taehyung, “it’s not for him.”

===&==&===

Chapter End Notes

TWITTER
 { Your heart was glass, I dropped it }
Chapter Summary

Twenty-one-year old Jungkook had stopped searching that starry look in Taehyung’s
eyes. He had realized that Taehyung's gaze was dangerous. Instead, he had started
searching for another set of eyes that shone like the galaxies were stored in them. He
hadn't found another one like Taehyung. The realization that he was searching for
another Taehyung while running from Taehyung made him run into Jimin’s arms
instead.

Chapter Notes

I thought I will be very late, but the chapter took less time building and well, I am
posting now because it's done. x
Hope you enjoy it. x

TWITTER

See the end of the chapter for more notes

When the yacht arrived at the shore, everyone was tired. Jungkook hopped off the yacht on the
dock and watched everyone climbing off behind him. When it was Taehyung’s turn, he hesitated.
He was wearing heels and it was slipping off the log. His legs were twisting while he tried to walk.

“Careful,” Yoongi reached out, grabbing Taehyung’s waist. Jungkook shoved his hands in his
pockets, fist tightening around nothing.

Taehyung placed his hands on Yoongi’s shoulders and jumped off with the elder’s help. When he
landed on the dock, Yoongi kept his arm around Taehyung’s waist, walking side by side while
talking.

Jungkook went back beside Jimin, giving the elder a small smile of acknowledgement when Jimin
wrapped his arm around Jungkook’s elbow.

“You look a little lost in thought,” Jimin observed, “everything alright?”

Jungkook looked over at Taehyung, how passersby were looking at him, turning their heads back
to look at his ass. Jungkook glared at a guy who was smirking at Taehyung. The guy stepped back,
eyes wide when he looked at Jungkook. He turned and walked away with hurried steps.

“Right,” Jimin smirked, “Tae!”

Jungkook startled, looking at Jimin and then back at Taehyung who was looking back at Jimin
with raised brows.

“Come and walk with us,” Jimin waved him closer, “come on.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes with a smile, stopping for Jungkook and Jimin to catch up with him.
Jimin placed Taehyung in the middle of them. Jungkook on his left and Jimin on his right.
Taehyung was limping.

“These heels are a bitch,” Taehyung glared down at the heels, “my toes have gone numb and my
legs are paining with each step I take.”

“Do you want me to carry you?” Jungkook asked, worriedly looking down at the heels. When he
looked up, Taehyung was watching him and Jimin had a wide smirk on his face.

“What?” Jungkook asked defensively.

“It’s okay,” Taehyung coughed in his fist and turned to Jimin, “how about we have a sleep in? I
can kick Yoongi hyung out of my room to Hobi hyung’s and you can come over?”

“You have a single bed,” Jimin huffed, “we will be falling off it,” he grinned at Jungkook, “how
about we go to Jungkook’s room? He has a king-sized bed all for himself. And he has a room for
himself too. The maknae line sleepover.”

Jungkook went rigid, watching Taehyung. Taehyung grinned and looked at him with raised brows.
Jungkook tried to read those eyes but found nothing but questions.

He shrugged, “you are welcome.”

Taehyung grunted, “For fuck’s sake!”

Jungkook and Jimin stopped walking when Taehyung got out of the heels and threw them in a bin,
walking on bare feet.

“Seriously,” Jungkook reached out, worry colouring his face, “let me carry you. You will have
something piercing your feet this way!”

Taehyung huffed, “I can’t do piggyback, my dress will ride up!”

“I can carry you in my arms,” Jungkook offered, “come on.”

“Let him,” Jimin giggled, “he won’t let this go otherwise.”

“I am already drawing attention on me,” Taehyung shook his head, “I am not about to jump in your
arms for more. Thank you.”

Jungkook got out of his shoes then, “wear them,” he shook his head when Taehyung tried to
protest, “I don’t wanna hear your crap. Wear my shoes.”

“What will you wear?” Jimin asked, looking down at Jungkook’s feet with a frown.

“I am careful,” Jungkook watched how Taehyung struggled with the sport-sandals’ straps.

“What a gentleman,” Jimin cooed when Jungkook went down on his knees to tie the straps for
Taehyung, “kookie is a gentle, loving, man when it comes to you, huh?”

When Jungkook looked up, Taehyung was watching him with a small smile. It felt like a flutter ran
down Jungkook’s spine under that gaze.

“He is a gentle and loving man with everyone,” Taehyung elbowed Jimin, “mainly with you.”

Jungkook noticed the teasing in Taehyung’s voice. He stood up, brushing his knees and walking.
The path was cemented so it didn’t really feel painful under his bare feet and even if it did,
Jungkook looked at Taehyung who had his arms in Jungkook’s hoodie and feet wrapped in
Jungkook’s shoes, Jungkook would take it.

Anything to keep Taehyung comfortable.

It had always been Jungkook’s mantra. Anything to make Taehyung happy.

“Because I love you.”

Jungkook felt something nibble at his heart, chest squeezing with tight fists. He frowned down at
the road, walking mutely and listening to Jimin while he talked.

“Then it’s settled,” Jimin pointed at Jungkook, “we will meet you in your room.”

“Sure,” Jungkook shrugged.

.
.
.

“Thanks for the hoodie, Gukkie,” Taehyung gave him a small smile, shrugging out of the hoodie
when they reached the bungalow.

Jungkook took it silently, reeling back when his hand touched Taehyung’s extended ones. There
was a moment of silence where Jungkook just stared at Taehyung and then he backed away.
Nodding.

“See you for the sleepover,” he mumbled.

Taehyung huffed out a small laugh, “don’t worry. I won’t bother you two. I will leave after Jimin
falls asleep.”

“No,” Jungkook cut in, shaking his head, “no. I want you there.”

Taehyung had a tentative smile on his face, “I don’t want to be there.”

“Oh,” Jungkook stumbled, backing away, “right.”

“Because I love you.”

“Good night, Tae,” he nodded, risking a glance at those eyes to find them glossy. It churned the
breath in his chest. Jungkook reached out instinctively. His hand pausing when Taehyung looked
down at it. Jungkook clenched his fist around thin air, retreating.

“Good night, Gukkie.”

The door closed behind Taehyung and for a second, Jungkook wanted to barge in. He wanted to
wrap Taehyung in his arms and ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness for whatever he did, how he hurt
Taehyung and forgiveness for anything he didn’t. how he didn’t fall in love with Taehyung. He
wished he was in love with Taehyung. He really wished. Things would have been so easy.
He would have been able to kiss those lips, feel those smiles against his own lips. He would have
held Taehyung…

No!

Jungkook swiftly turned on his heels, walking away.

Taehyung called him Gukkie. He was taking them back to being best friends. The starting was that
name but…

That name hurt somehow. It blinded Jungkook with yearning. For what? He didn’t understand.

===&=&===

Jimin was all muscle and tightness around him. Jungkook huffed out a laugh when Jimin hugged
him, nuzzling closer to sleep and whine about how Taehyung couldn’t join them because
apparently, he was busy talking to some friend Jimin didn’t know the name of.

“You are going to bruise me,” Jungkook chuckled, squirming on his back to make room for Jimin
against his side.

Jimin had his leg thrown over Jungkook’s belly and arm around his chest with his head tucked
under Jungkook’s jaw.

“I am just getting ready to gossip,” Jimin mumbled, “now tell me when and how it started.”

Jungkook frowned down at him, “when it started? What started?”

“You and Taehyung,” Jimin deadpanned, “tell me when you two started doing stuff.”

Jungkook looked at the ceiling, recalling how it started. Ironically it was the switched position.
Taehyung had Jungkook in his arms and it was a starless night too. Like this one.

Jungkook gulped the saliva pooling in his mouth and shrugged, “not long ago. A few months?
Two?”

“God,” Jimin giggled, “and you two managed to keep it under the radar? I didn’t get a whiff!”

“You didn’t get a whiff of a lot of things,” Jungkook rolled his eyes, arms tightening around Jimin,
“you are dense.”

“Not more than you two,” Jimin swatted at his chest, “I at least knew you two were head over hills
for each other. Ages ago.”

“What?” Jungkook squeaked, looking at Jimin with a thudding echo in his head, “head over hills
for each other? No! It was just…” sex.

“Because I love you.”

Jungkook paused. It was never sex for Taehyung. Was it? The thought that Taehyung was hurting
throughout their arrangement made something unsettle in Jungkook. To think he was the one
hurting Taehyung without even noticing…

“It was just sex,” Jungkook’s voice wavered.

“What changed?” Jimin sounded soft, tentative.

Jungkook tried not to give in too much, “that kind of things don’t really work out for long. Do
they?”

“You started feeling more?” Jimin was now hovering over him, his palm supporting his head.

“What? No!” Jungkook shook his head, “I don’t feel…”

Unbidden, an image of Taehyung laughing in the yacht came to his mind. How that throat had
bobbed, the sound of his laughter soothing yet unnerving to Jungkook and how Taehyung’s eyes
had crinkled.

“We didn’t catch feelings,” he shook his head, “that’s not what happened.”

“Because I love you.”

“Then what?” Jimin had his brows furrowed, “Taehyung realized he loves Bogum?”

“What the fuck?!” Jungkook almost jolted, “no!”

He loves me!

Jungkook couldn’t flex something he didn’t have the right to. Taehyung’s love was for him but he
didn’t own up to it to flex it.

“It will go away with time.” Taehyung had said. It would go away with time…

“We just realized it’s not a good idea,” Jungkook shook his head, “both of us. We are best friends.
These kinds of arrangements can break our friendship.”

“And start something new,” Jimin pushed on, “it can make you two realize how much you two
love each other.”

“I don’t love him,” Jungkook let that sour taste fill his mouth, “not that way.”

“You don’t?” Jimin’s brows furrowed, “Kookie, remember we were sitting in that park to watch
the sunrise, in Japan, and what you told me when the sun came up?”

Jungkook looked at Jimin, with wide eyes, “What?”

“You said and I quote, ‘Now that Tae is not here, I am realizing you can be homesick for a person
too,’ you had your camera focused on that raising sun and you said that. You were enjoying
yourself, doing what you love and you were missing him because that’s what he is to you.
Important. To a point where you miss him not just in sadness but in happiness too. In your most
honest moments, you miss him.”

Jungkook looked at the ceiling again, “he is my best friend.”

“Friends,” Jimin rolled his eyes, “friends by Ed Sheeran is what I recommend you to listen to.”

Jimin dropped to lay on Jungkook, “just tell me one thing, Kookie,” when Jungkook hummed,
Jimin continued, “If one day we break up. This group. Let’s face it, we can’t be a boyband forever,
right? We go our own way. You find your place, I find mine. Our paths lead us in different
directions. Years pass by and meeting each other becomes a yearly thing or just phone calls until
we two have nothing common to talk about, how would you feel?”
“Sad,” Jungkook was quick to reply, “terrible. I can’t stay away from you all for long.”

“Now imagine Tae going away,” Jimin mumbled, noticing the way Jungkook’s arm tightened
around him, “he finding someone for himself, building a home with that person and you two
meeting yearly or have nothing to talk about…”

“That would never happen,” Jungkook closed his eyes, feeling his rage build towards a faceless
guy, “I would never let him slip away.”

“As a friend?” Jimin smiled, “you can’t keep him beside you forever as a friend, Kookie. He might
want his own family one day. One day he might want someone to love him like he would love
them,” because I love you, “One day he might meet someone,” because I love you, “One day
Taehyung would want to have kids. He would want a home for them. A house in the countryside
with a pool and a vast backyard. He would want a garden where he can grow roses and maybe
strawberries that he like,” because I love you, “He had told me about how he wants a doting
husband,” because I love you, “Someone he can spend his entire life with. He would go away one
day…”

because I love you…

“I am sleepy,” Jungkook pulled his arm away from Jimin to turn his back towards him, “good
night, Jimin.”

There was a soft chuckle before Jimin wrapped his arm around Jungkook, nuzzling closer, “Friends
by Ed Sheeran. I highly recommend it.”

Jungkook buried his face in the pillow, zoning out.

.
.

because I love you…

===&=&===

It was one thing knowing Bogum and Taehyung had a strong bond.

It was a completely different thing seeing how strong that bond was.

Bogum had reached the bungalow at an early hour and since Jungkook had walked into the living
room, he had seen nothing but Taehyung and Bogum flirting.

Jungkook was making breakfast for himself because Jin was out with Namjoon again. This time to
buy a pendant for Namjoon’s mother. Mother!

Everyone else had eaten and were now lounging around the house.

Taehyung and Bogum were out too.

“Want some help?” Yoongi walked in, ready to go out himself, “want me to make those toasts for
you?”

“No, thanks,” Jungkook shook his head, “you are leaving?”

“Going to the beach,” Yoongi nodded, “Taehyung called. They are taking a swim. Wants me and
Jimin to join. Hobi is already there. Wanna come?”

“I will go after eating,” Jungkook pointed at his plate and waved when Jimin and Yoongi left.

The bungalow was quiet. Too quiet for Jungkook’s loud thoughts.

“Because I love you.”

He hissed when he reached for the toaster and touched the side of it. Jungkook sucked his thumb in
his mouth with a glare. There was no one to protest when he pulled the toasts out a little roughly.

.
.

When he came out to the beach, he could point out each one of them. Jimin and Hoseok were
splashing water at each other. Jin and Yoongi were lounging by the beach. Namjoon was bent over
the sand, surely looking for crabs or already found one.

Then there was Bogum and Taehyung. They were building sandcastles. Their smiles matching and
lips moving over whispered words, voice too low for Jungkook to hear.

Jungkook looked at the castles and back at Taehyung.

“What is this?” Jungkook had asked, giggling at the engraved ‘Taekook,’ on the sandcastle.

“This is our castle, Gukkie,” Taehyung had flared his arms as if showing off the castle for anyone
who would turn their way, “we rule the world from this castle.”

“We rule the world together?” Jungkook had curves the ‘k' a little more.

“We do,” Taehyung had grinned, “See, I even wrote, Taekook, love forever. We will love each
other forever and no matter where we go, our castle will stand proud. Reining over the taekook
nation.”

Jungkook wanted to know if Taehyung loved him even then or…

The new castle Taehyung built was bigger, Bogum swiping at the sides to create a barricade around
the castle.

“One day he might meet someone.”

“Because I love you.”

“He would want a home for them.”

“My feelings will go away with time.”

“Because I love you.”

“Because I love you.”

“Because I love you.”

.
Jungkook closed his eyes, inhaling deeply to settle all those voices in his head. When he opened his
eyes, Taehyung was already watching him with a frown. Jungkook turned towards the sea, just to
avoid that gaze.

When he dove into the ocean, Jimin and Hoseok called him to join them but Jungkook denied with
a shake of his head. He needed a swim and he needed to cleanse his mind alone.

“My feelings will go away with time.”

He went for one of the sea-swings, laying on it while the tides moved him. He didn’t know why
suddenly a memory so old came to his mind. It was from their first-ever trip. Taehyung and he,
both were teenagers then. Best friends.

Jungkook pulled out his phone, it was tucked away in a waterproof pouch along with his earbuds.
He pressed the earbuds in his ear and turned the phone on to go to the music app.

“Friends by Ed Sheeran. I highly recommend it.”

===&=&===

“Yes, aunty, he took his meds,” Jin nodded, smiling at Joon who was inspecting a crab that was
walking on his palm, “I made sure he doesn’t forget.”

“He told me how Iseul can’t even remember the medicines he takes,” Namjoon’s mum laughed,
“And they are thinking of getting engaged. He might call you even after their wedding to know
which medicine to take and when, yeah?”

Jin gulped, nodding wordlessly. Iseul. Right. Namjoon was getting engaged soon. Soon enough for
his mother to know. Not soon enough to tell his bandmates and Jin.

“He will learn to take care of himself,” Jin tried to shake off the heaviness in his voice, “now I will
hang up, aunty. Your son is coming towards me with a crab in his hand.”

“Oh, God! Make sure it’s not…” aunty paused, “you know how to handle him better than I do.
Bye, Jin.”

“Don’t you dare get closer to me,” Jin warned after cutting the call, eyes wide and glare fiercely on
Namjoon, “Namjoon, I will run away.”

“You will never run away from me,” Namjoon rolled his eyes, smiling, “and this one is the
smallest, hyung. Look.”

Jin whimpered when Namjoon came to sit beside him, extending his palm for Jin to see.

“It’s pink!” Jin raised his brow, “a pink crab!”

“It reminded me of you,” Namjoon grinned, dimple visible for Jin, “pinkjin. Can we call him
that?”

“You know if it’s him or her?” Jin would not be surprised if Namjoon could.

“We can adopt him!” Namjoon sounded childlike. Something he wasn’t.

Only in front of Jin, Namjoon would let his childish side show, knowing there would never be any
judgment. Not that the other boys would judge him but Jin felt the safest option. He was older too.
In front of Jin, Namjoon could be himself and forget about holding up the image of a responsible
hyung or the leader. He was not obligated to be perfect in front of Jin and that was therapeutic.

“Ask Iseul,” Jin smiled, looking down at the crab, “when you get engaged, give her this as a
present.”

“Iseul?” Namjoon’s hand closed around the crab, “she called? About the engagement?”

“Your mum called me,” Jin opened Namjoon’s palm with his hands so that the crab had enough
air, “told me about the engagement.”

“It’s not soon,” Namjoon sighed, rolling his eyes, “around the end of the year.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jin nodded, looking up to meet Namjoon’s eyes, “I am invited.”

“Jin,” Namjoon stopped when Jin pointed at the crab.

“Get him back to his family,” Jin smiled at him, something in those eyes unsettling Namjoon,
“let’s not drag him away from his loved ones.”

Namjoon dropped the crab on the sand, “he would have stayed. If only his loved one was brave
enough to ask him to stay.”

Jin pulled the sunglass down on his eyes. Leaning back to ignore the way Namjoon stared at him.

===&=&===

“You can sing so well,” Taehyung had heart-shaped lights in his eyes, reflecting the moon that
shone brightly above them. Jungkook ducked his head, shy, and smiled. His thank you was
murmured, lost in the cool breeze of Han.

Taehyung’s hand was warm when it entangled with his, pulling him closer while they held ice-
cream cones in their other hands, sharing. Taehyung holding out his for Jungkook and demanding
Jungkook did the same. They fed each other their ice-creams, judging the tastes together.

Jungkook shared his ice-cream willingly. For the first time, he shared something of his with
someone else.

Taehyung.

Jungkook was fourteen.

.
.

“You dance so well!” Taehyung had that starry look again in his eyes. His smile wide and
admiring. So openly admiring.

Jungkook didn’t say he had taken an extra rotation and that last leap just to make Taehyung look
at him like that. There was something surreal in the way Taehyung’s admiration filled him to the
brim, making him feel unbeatable. He had smiled, nodding his thanks.

“Share your dance routine with me,” Taehyung had held his hands, “please?”
Jungkook had found himself tucked in the corner of the rehearsal hall, sharing his videos and
moves with Taehyung. For the first time.

The kiss against his cheek when it was delivered by a grinning Taehyung, was worth it.

Jungkook had tucked it away in his memory. That kiss, that feel of Taehyung’s warmth against his
cheek, very close to his lips.

Jungkook was fifteen.

“If I fall, you will catch me, right?” Taehyung had this huge grin on his face, sitting at the window
seat of the plane.

“If you fall, I will fall with you,” Jungkook had assured, knowing that huge grin was hiding the
fear Taehyung felt when the plane left the ground, “I will always fall with you.”

Jungkook was sixteen.

Seeing Taehyung make out with someone was bizarre. He had watched Taehyung while the boy
had a girl on his lap, grinding and kissing him breathless. Jungkook didn’t really care how good of
a kisser the girl was. All he noticed was if that starry-eyed look was there in Taehyung’s eyes.

It wasn’t.

He had heaved a sigh. While sharing his possessions and learning to be selfless, he had picked up
different types of ones to be possessive about.

One of them was Taehyung and his admiring look.

Jungkook was seventeen when he realized Taehyung was his most precious find. A living,
breathing, shining treasure who had galaxies in his eyes.

Jungkook’s eighteen birthday got him a lap dance as a gift from his hyungs. A stripper booked and
reserved only for him. He had laughed, telling them he had to be twenty for this. Everyone had
reminded him that they were in a different country, where the legal age was eighteen.

Jungkook said nothing, just let the lap dance happen. It was nice, to have everyone’s attention on
him. But only one person’s eyes he searched in the crowd. Taehyung held a box, wrapped in silver
paper and smile just as shiny.

When everything was over, Jungkook had found Taehyung, asking him for the gift. It was a bottle of
champagne. They both had finished the bottle on the rooftop, passing the bottle between them.

“I could’ve danced better than that stripper,” Taehyung had said, lips shiny with the champagne.
Jungkook had smiled, “Nah, I wouldn’t want anyone seeing you naked.”

There was a silence none of them broke until Taehyung laid back, smiling up at the sky.

“Stop saying shit like that, it makes me wanna fall for you,” Taehyung’s words were carried away
with the breeze.

Jungkook wondered now if Taehyung had feelings for him then.

He was eighteen when he had watched the sunrise with Taehyung.

For the first time.

.
.

“How are you so good at boxing?” Taehyung had that starry look on his face again, “God! Look
at those muscles!”

Jungkook had flexed his bicep, unknowingly sucking in a breath to show off his abs. he hadn’t
missed the way Taehyung’s eyes had glided over his body, admiration filling his smile.

“Now when you go out at night, take me with you,” Jungkook had said, “I will make sure no one
harasses you.”

“Okay, my bodyguard,” Taehyung had giggled, “what are you going to charge for the service?”

Nothing. Just keep looking at me with those starry eyes.

Jungkook was nineteen.

Jungkook wondered now if Taehyung loved him then.

Taehyung brought Bogum to the dorm to introduce to everyone and Jungkook still remembered
sleeping with Jimin that night. The emptiness engulfing him from every corner, making him
swallow around nothing but bile that rose to his throat.

Jimin had been there, a soothing presence, enticing smile on his face and welcoming arms around
Jungkook. Jungkook had noticed Jimin for the first time when he was twenty.

He was twenty when he learnt that a boy could cause him heartbreak.

He had learnt heartbreaks could come in the shape of starry eyes, looking at someone who wasn’t
Jungkook.

Twenty-one-year old Jungkook had stopped searching that starry look in Taehyung’s eyes. He had
realized that Taehyung's gaze was dangerous. Instead, he had started searching for another set of
eyes that shone like the galaxies were stored in them. He hadn’t found another one like Taehyung.
The realization that he was searching for another Taehyung while running from Taehyung made
him run into Jimin’s arms instead.

He was twenty-one when he promised himself he would never crave that starry gaze again.

Now… at the age of twenty-two, Jungkook looked at the stars themselves with nothing but
emptiness in his eyes. The whole day he had spent anywhere that was far away from Taehyung and
Bogum. He had given them space to breathe while his own breathing was stolen every time he
heard that giggle.

That giggle, that sound, was teen Jungkook’s favourite. He had done indescribable things for that
giggle but now…

“Are you just going to be here all day?” Jimin swam closer to him, “come on. You didn’t even
have lunch.”

Jungkook dropped from the swing into the water, following Jimin to the shore where Hoseok sat
on a lounger, his phone to his ear.

“You all ate?” Jungkook asked, frowning at the way Hoseok wiped at his eyes.

“Jin refused to eat dinner without you,” Jimin smiled, “Taehyung and Bogum had left to explore
the island. Come on. The coast is clear.”

Jungkook halted on his steps, “what? It’s not like that. I am not hiding from them.”

“Of course you are not but I am,” Jimin made a face, playful, “they are seconds away from
fucking.”

“Because I love you.”

“They are not seconds away from fucking,” Jungkook said, voice assuring even to his own ears,
“Taehyung doesn’t like Bogum that way.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jimin was looking ahead of them, “you sound very confident.”

Jungkook looked up to see Taehyung and Bogum coming around the corner, walking towards the
bungalow. He smiled at Taehyung when the other looked up to find him.

“You are still in your shorts?” Taehyung chided, “you will catch a cold!”

Jungkook stopped, waiting for Taehyung to reach them. He looked down at the packets in
Taehyung’s hands and reached out, taking them from him. Taehyung let him take the bags.

“What did you buy?” Jungkook asked, looking over at Bogum, “anything interesting? For me?”

Taehyung let out a small breath as if he was holding it, shaking his head, “nothing for you.”

“Please,” Bogum huffed, rolling his eyes, “he got you two presents, Jungkook.”

Jungkook grinned, looking back at Taehyung smugly, “which ones are mine?”
Taehyung grabbed at Jimin, “let’s go, Jimin. I am tired.”

“No, which ones are mine?” Jungkook called, laughing and following Taehyung. Beside him,
Bogum followed with a smile.

===&=&===

Two more days passed in a blur for Taehyung. It was the last day of vacation for them.

In these past two days Jungkook had been nothing but civil. He had befriended Bogum even. If
them playing beach-volleyball was anything to go by. Taehyung watched from his lounger how
Jungkook jumped to reach the ball Yoongi had thrown his way, his body taut. Jungkook wasn’t
wearing a shirt and Taehyung couldn’t look away from that built upper body. His muscles were
flexing while he moved.

Jungkook kept looking over at him, smiling and throwing kisses.

Taehyung couldn’t help but smile when that happened.

“Last round,” Jimin called, huffing for breath, “I am so fucking tired.”

“I can feel my muscles will be screaming for attention later,” Hoseok whimpered, “God! Just end
this game already.”

“It’s almost evening,” Jin whined, “we are playing since afternoon. Come on.”

“It’s our last day here,” Namjoon also looked exhausted, “let’s go back to the yacht and Bogum
needs to see the yacht too.”

“Let’s do that,” Yoongi nodded, “sounds good.”

“That would be lovely,” Bogum looked back at Taehyung, “right?”

Taehyung shrugged, “whatever you all want. I am fine with it all.”

“Let me take a shower first,” Jungkook pointed at himself, “I am sweating pools here.”

“We all need showers,” Bogum nodded, “let’s meet around six?”

“Make it seven,” Yoongi pointed at him and Namjoon, “we have a meeting at six with the
producers.”

“Let’s meet around seven,” Namjoon pointed at Taehyung, “now someone drag him up. He looks
like he needs help.”

Everyone laughed when Bogum marched forward, grabbing at Taehyung and lifting him up.

Taehyung gripped Bogum’s shoulders, laughing, “you are strong, hyung.”

“You are finding that out now?” Bogum winked, taking him towards the bungalow. Taehyung
grinned, looking over to see Jungkook watching them. Taehyung let his eyes drop away when he
saw that look on Jungkook’s face.

===&=&===
Jungkook had an arm around him. Jungkook had an arm dangerously low around his waist.
Jungkook had his thumb rubbing over Taehyung’s hip.

Taehyung couldn’t think about anything else. His mind repeatedly circling that thought.

They were wandering the streets of Bora-Bora. Last day shopping, as Jimin had named the activity.
Jungkook had plastered himself beside Taehyung and would not budge no matter what.

Taehyung sucked in a breath when Jungkook squeezed his hip, telling him how a certain accessory
would look on him. He watched how Bogum and Yoongi were discussing the pros and cons of
earrings. Deep in conversation. Jin and Namjoon were talking with Hoseok and Jimin had his mind
occupied with two sunglasses. He couldn’t choose until Yoongi pointed at one and Jimin held it
out for packing.

Taehyung was going through a few rings, putting them on and then discarding them on the tray.

“Which one looks best on me?” he asked Jungkook, who was now looking over his shoulder, arms
around him, “choose one.”

“You look best in black,” Jungkook shrugged, pointing at one of the rings with a black stone in the
middle, “take that one.”

“What is with you and your obsession with anything black?” Taehyung wondered, putting on that
ring anyway.

“It looks good on you, what?” Jungkook muttered, “Look, how pretty!”

Taehyung elbowed him, getting the salesgirl’s attention to pack that ring.

“You want anything?” Taehyung pointed at the earrings, “you can get something you like. I will
buy it for you.”

“Buy me a ring,” Jungkook smiled, “we will look like a couple.”

Taehyung tried hard not to let that sentence faze him but the way he stiffened and Jungkook’s arms
loosened their grip around him, told him he failed miserably.

Taehyung chuckled, forcing it out of his mouth, “yeah? Then you take a white one.”

Jungkook shook his head, “Nah, let me buy an earring.”

Taehyung nodded, suddenly feeling the ring’s weight on his chest, heavy and unforgiving. He
watched Jungkook try out earrings after earrings until he agreed on one with a blue pearl. He turned
to Taehyung with raised brows. Taehyung nodded, asking the salesgirl to pack it for him.

He was clearing his bills when the phone came.

Taehyung sighed, pulling out the phone to frown at the name.

“Yeah?” he took the paperbag in his hand with a nod, another hand supporting the phone against
his ear.

“Hey,” Dejun sounded breathless, “your song, the one you sent a few days ago, is selected for a
series. Can you do a meeting right now? We kind of agreed. It will take one hour, max.”
“You kidding, right?” Taehyung huffed, “we are out for a trip on the yacht. How can I do a
meeting? I don’t have my laptop on me!”

“Then go back,” Dejun sounded desperate, “Taehyung, this series is going to be an international hit
and it’s for your friend too. Seojoon is the lead. He personally asked for this song after we sent it
their way. You can’t ditch us!”

Taehyung gritted his teeth, looking at where the boys were all busy. He caught Bogum’s eyes and
Jungkook was just beside him.

“Bogum is here with me,” Taehyung murmured, rubbing his temple, “how can I ditch him or ask
him to come with me when I will be busy and he would have nothing to do?!”

“Let him go to the yacht,” Dejun pleaded almost, “you have to understand that you wanted to sing
this song alone. It can’t go to the album. So now is your chance.”

“I am coming,” Taehyung rolled his eyes, “you don’t need to pursue me with shit. Calm down. I
will join them in half-an-hour.”

“Fine,” Dejun sounded pleased, “see you, Taehyung.”

Taehyung cut the call and turned towards the group.

“Listen, guys, I have a meeting with the producers about the new song I am singing for a series,”
Taehyung looked at all of them, “so I can’t join you all to the yacht. How long will you all be
gone?”

“The whole night!” Jimin whined, “we will be back tomorrow morning. Can’t you like,
reschedule?”

“No, I can’t,” Taehyung pouted too, “I tried, okay? Bogum hyung,” when Bogum looked at him,
Taehyung made an apologetic smile, “Are you going to be okay with them?”

“You want me to come with you?” Bogum asked, “I will be fine with them but you are all alone.
Shall I come with you?”

“No,” Taehyung shook his head, “I will be doing a meeting and you are here for a trip. Enjoy it. I
will be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Namjoon asked, “we can cancel.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Taehyung cursed loudly, “I am not a kid. Let it be. You all go. I am not
going. End of discussion.”

Taehyung looked at Bogum again, “sorry, hyung.”

“No problem,” Bogum waved him off, “call us if you need anything.”

Taehyung looked at Jungkook who was already looking at him. He opened his mouth just to shut it
when Taehyung shook his head.

“Enjoy the last day,” Taehyung squeezed his hands, eyes moving from Jungkook to Jimin.
Jungkook nodded once and Taehyung turned back on his heels to leave.

===&=&===
Taehyung was in the middle of the meeting when the door of his bedroom opened. He almost
screamed in terror but relaxed once he saw it was Jungkook. Though it made him frown. Why was
Jungkook here?

Jungkook sat on the bed, behind the screen, and gestured for Taehyung to continue. Taehyung
wanted to ask where the others were or why Jungkook was here but Seojoon spoke up.

“Can we listen to the song now?” Seojoon asked, smiling, “I mean, I have heard it but it was a
snippet. I heard you sent the final cut, Tae?”

Taehyung nodded, “yes. I did.”

“Then play that one,” Nara grinned, “I didn’t hear the song yet. Come on.”

Taehyung hesitated, looking over at Jungkook who had his phone in his hands and thumbs tapping
on the screen furiously.

So he was playing games.

Taehyung heaved a sigh of relief and clicked on the name of the song. Jungkook wouldn’t really
notice if he was playing games.

The soft melody filled the room and Taehyung leaned back against the headrest, watching
everyone to measure their reactions.

His voice crooned in right after. Taehyung exhaled, listening to himself sing through the speaker.
The voice echoing off the walls.

“On my pillow
Can't get me tired
Sharing my fragile truth
That I still hope the door is open…”

Jungkook’s tapping continued, eyes once darting over to the laptop before going back on the screen
of his mobile. Taehyung watched how Seojoon closed his eyes.

“'Cause the window

Opened one time with you and me
Now my forever's falling down
Wondering if you'd want me now”

Jungkook had his eyes trained on the screen of his phone but his thumbs just hovered over the
screen. His shoulders were tensing.

Taehyung reached for his headphone that was near the foot of the bed, beside Jungkook.

“How could I know

One day I'd wake up feeling more
But I had already reached the shore
Guess we were ships in the night
Night, night…”
Jungkook’s hand grabbed the headphone to hide it in his fist and then Taehyung was looking at
those intense eyes that held him captive. Taehyung couldn’t look away and Jungkook’s stare
wouldn’t let him. The song continued.

“I'm wondering
Are you my best friend
Feel's like a river's rushing through my mind
I wanna ask you
If this is all just in my head…”

Taehyung wanted to close the laptop. He wanted to delete the song. Pause it. Anything but this.
Anything but Jungkook looking at him with a blank face. Anything but Taehyung sitting there
motionlessly, watching his world falling apart word by word.

The realization was there in Jungkook’s eyes. He understood who the song was for. Taehyung
could feel the prickle in his eyes. Tears of humiliation. Of frustration. It was building.

“My heart is pounding tonight

I wonder
If you
Are too good to be true
And would it be alright if I
Pulled you closer…”

Jungkook had his fist clenched around the headphones, the cords tangled around his fingers
somehow. Taehyung looked down, feeling a teardrop rolling out of his eyes that he hurriedly wiped
at. No one across the screen noticed it, too caught up in the song to care.

Jungkook noticed. If him getting up and leaving the room was anything to go by.

The headphone was now on the ground. Dishevelled. Tangled. So tangled, it would tear apart if
someone went to untangle it.

Taehyung looked down at the screen after the door closed behind Jungkook.

His meeting finished after another hour.

===&=&===

Taehyung didn’t go searching for Jungkook. He would rather run in circles than face Jungkook at
that moment. Taehyung was in the mood of drowning himself. So he found himself in the pool. He
swam, ducking under the water to feel the coldness against his heated face.

He couldn’t stop thinking about how Jungkook had looked at him. Those eyes held nothing, they
were empty, but that void scared him. Taehyung broke out of the water, gasping for air and
combing his hair back from his face. He sucked in a breath just to cough when it got stuck in his
throat. His eyes zeroed in on Jungkook who was standing by the pool.

Taehyung watched Jungkook while Jungkook sat at the edge before sliding down into the pool.
Wearing a white shirt and his jeans.

Taehyung stood in the middle of the pool, feeling Jungkook’s presence when the wave created by
his body pushed at him. He stumbled, stepping back and watching Jungkook step closer.

It went on like that until Taehyung had the opposite wall behind his back and Jungkook was right
in front of him.

Jungkook just stood, watching him and Taehyung watched back.

The eerie silence was broken by the sound of Taehyung’s rapidly beating heart and the small waves
crashing against the walls of the pool. There was the sound of the sea, tides lurching for the shore
and taking away the layers of sand along with it.

“That song is about me,” Jungkook’s voice wasn’t high enough to break the echo of Taehyung’s
own heartbeat.

It was bold enough to choke him though. Leaving him breathless. Taehyung had nothing to offer.

“It’s about you wanting me to return your feelings,” Jungkook’s left hand came up to rest against
the wall, making Taehyung flinch.

“It’s about you waiting for me to reach you,” Jungkook stepped closer, “it’s about you one day
realizing you love me and hoping for me to feel the same.”

“Stop!” Taehyung turned to face the wall too, suddenly the water too cold against his skin, “stop
it.”

“You said you will move on,” Jungkook murmured, lips ghosting over Taehyung’s nape, “Is this
how you move on? By writing me off? Like an ex? Just a muse?”

“It’s just a song,” Taehyung wanted to pull back when Jungkook pressed closer.

“It made you cry,” Jungkook sounded gruttal, “it made me…”

Taehyung waited. The sentence wasn’t finished.

“Do you think if we give it a chance we can work it out?” Jungkook asked next.

Taehyung jolted, turning his head to look at Jungkook, “what?”

“If we dated,” Jungkook murmured, “I might learn to love you like…”

“No!” Taehyung glared, “no! I don’t need your pity! Fucking hell. Don’t ever say that! I can do
with your rejection and you will see, I will be fine, but don’t you dare show me pity.”

“Sympathy, not pity,” Jungkook sounded pained, “I understand how it feels to love someone and
not have it back.”

“Then you should understand being the person they pity doesn’t help either,” Taehyung glared,
“don’t ever say that again, Jungkook. We…”

“I can’t stop thinking about the time we spent together,” Jungkook cut in, “I keep thinking what if I
gave you what you wanted. What if I became your boyfriend? There are plenty of people who
don’t end up with their first love…”

“But they should at least confess,” Taehyung urged, “otherwise there will always be what-ifs and
the next person who would come in your life doesn’t deserve it. Confess to him, Jungkook. What if
he loves you too?”
“I want to give us a chance,” Jungkook sounded adamant, “I think we will work together. I miss
you.”

“You just miss the sex,” Taehyung glared, “don’t mix it with feelings.”

“I am not, Tae,” Jungkook held Taehyung’s wrists in his grip, “I am saying I can love you. I can
lear…”

“What if Jimin tells you he would learn to love you?” Taehyung knew he sounded tired. He felt
tired.

Jungkook looked at him quietly, eyes searching Taehyung’s face, “I would let him.”

Taehyung slapped the water, splashing droplets everywhere in frustration, “then we don’t think
alike. I would like the one I love to love me without learning it. It’s…”

The kiss was sudden, making Taehyung stumble backwards until he hit the tiled wall of the pool.
His hands clutched at Jungkook’s shoulders, nails digging in the white shirt while Jungkook’s
hands moved on his waist.

Taehyung whimpered in the kiss, letting Jungkook nuzzle closer. Jungkook tilted his head,
intensifying the kiss, while Taehyung closed his eyes, feeling the way Jungkook’s tongue probed
at his teeth.

A gasp was all it took for Jungkook’s tongue to invade his mouth and Taehyung’s grip on
Jungkook tightened. He muffled a whine at the way Jungkook’s hands ran up and down at his
sides.

It was Taehyung who pushed Jungkook away with a shove. Shaking his head, he turned his back to
Jungkook while trying to even out his breathing.

“Don’t do this, Jungkook,” Taehyung rested his head against the tiled wall, panting, “we promised
we would stop.”

Jungkook swam closer, pressing his body against Taehyung, “do you really want to stop?”

Taehyung sucked in a breath, skin burning in the cold water, where Jungkook touched him, trying
to turn him to face those eyes. Taehyung resisted.

“We have to,” Taehyung looked over his shoulder at Jungkook with sorrowful eyes, “we have to.
This is not doing us good. You need to tell him…”

“I sound pathetic, don’t I?” Jungkook huffed out a snort, “begging you to be my boyfriend when I
don’t love you like that? But I am losing you, Tae, and I don’t want to. Do you really think we will
be fine as friends after this?”

“We can’t just start dating,” Taehyung laughed, “are you seriously saying this?”

“People don’t fall in love right away, Tae,” Jungkook had a penetrative look on his face, “when
they start dating, it’s just liking each other. I like you enough to start dating you.”

“You love Jimin,” Taehyung shouted, shoving at Jungkook’s chest in frustration, “you fucking
love Jimin. People who start dating, don’t fall in love with someone else while dating one another.
It’s not fucking fair to me!”
Taehyung swam towards the ladder, “fuck you and your offers, Jungkook. I don’t need this. How
dare you come here and ask…”

He stopped when he saw the gate of the bungalow opening. It was late but not morning yet. Why
were the boys coming back?

Jungkook swam closer to him to see everyone walking through the gate towards the bungalow.

Namjoon saw them in the pool and stopped. His face was troubled.

“Come in,” he pointed at the bungalow, “we have things to discuss.”

“What things?” Taehyung asked, “Is everything alright?”

“It is,” Jin assured from the side, “just Jimin and Yoongi have something to say. To all of us.”

They looked over at where Jimin and Yoongi were standing. His face pale and his lips bitten
between his teeth. Yoongi had Jimin’s palm clasped in his and when Taehyung raised his brows in
question, Yoongi just shrugged. He looked troubled too.

“Come out now,” Hoseok waved his hand, beside him, Bogum looked quiet. Taehyung and
Jungkook looked at each other before hauling themselves out of the pool.

“You guys change,” Yoongi pointed at the bungalow, “we will be in the hall.”

===&=&===

Taehyung and Jungkook came to sit on the sofa, watching everyone and then back at where Jimin
and Yoongi sat on another couch. Taehyung sat beside Jungkook, ignoring how the younger placed
his arm around his shoulder.

“Now that we all are here… after we saw Jimin and Yoongi kissing on the yacht… as the
leader…” Namjoon started.

“Can you drop the president act now,” Jin rolled his eyes, “we need to get to the point.”

“I would have been done by now,” Namjoon chided.

“I mean, you do speak formally a lot,” Hoseok sighed.

“Listen, that’s…” Namjoon was cut by Jimin talking over him.

“Me and Yoongi hyung are dating.”

Taehyung whipped around to face Jimin, noticing the quiet in the room.

The words registered in his brain but his brain didn’t know how to react to the words so Taehyung
just stared. Judging by how quiet the room was, everyone was doing the same.

“You are what?” Jin whispered.

Jimin looked paler. His eyes darting from face to face. Then there was Yoongi, who just sat and
observed everyone.
 “We saw you two kissing and we thought…” Hoseok coughed, “you two were hooking up.”

“We didn’t think you were dating!” Namjoon finished Hoseok’s words.

“We are,” Yoongi mumbled, “not for long. For a few days.”

“Yeah,” Jimin looked at them while reaching out to take Yoongi’s hands in his, “we are dating for
a few days now.”

“And you told us nothing about it?” Namjoon glared, “you didn’t even bother telling us when you
know we would have supported you?”

“We wanted to be sure,” Jimin sighed, “about us. About the relationship.”

“Now you are?” Hoseok leaned forward, “sure?”

“Yes,” Jimin nodded, “I like him a lot.”

Yoongi coughed, nodding silently.

“We just hope you all won’t tell anyone yet,” Jimin sounded troubled, “anyone who can leak it to
the media.”

Bogum chuckled when Jimin looked at him, “I would never, Jimin. Don’t worry about any one of
us outing you two.”

“No one will,” Jin nodded, “you got us.”

Jungkook stood up, “excuse me.”

Taehyung stood up too, excusing himself to run behind Jungkook who had gone out of the door.

“What happened to them now?” Namjoon asked, standing up.

Yoongi had a troubled expression on his face, “let them. Don’t invade.”

Jin pulled Namjoon down beside him. Hoseok squirmed closer to the edge of the couch, a teasing
smile on his face.

“Now tell us about the hookups. Is Yoongi good in bed?”

Everyone groaned.

===&=&===

Chapter End Notes

TAEHYUNG IS NOT GOING TO BE A REBOUND BF. Have some faith in me.

Thank you. x

.
.
.
TWITTER
 { You'll find the real thing instead, he'll patch up your tapestry that I shred }
Chapter Summary

"His picture in your wallet

You won't remember all my
Champagne problems..."

Chapter Notes

This chapter might hurt. Be aware. x

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Taehyung found Jungkook in his room. He was sitting on the bed. Taehyung leaned against the
doorframe, feeling the sadness building in him. He wished he could take away whatever pain
Jungkook was feeling.

Taehyung understood what Jungkook was feeling. He understood the pain Jungkook was going
through and that was the reason he couldn’t help but march forward until he was kneeling in front
of Jungkook.

Jungkook startled, eyes widening, “Tae…”

“Let it out,” Taehyung sat on his knees between Jungkook’s thighs so that Jungkook had nowhere
to hide, squeezing his knees, “I am here. If you want we can talk.”

Jungkook watched him silently, hands coming up to rest on Taehyung’s shoulders, “I just want to
sleep.”

Taehyung searched those eyes and nodded when he found nothing, “okay. Do you want me gone?”

“Never,” Jungkook shook his head, “stay. With me.”

Taehyung ignored the sharp pang in his chest and climbed onto the bed, “let’s sleep. Let’s sleep on
it. We can talk about it when you want to.”

“Okay,” Jungkook nodded, pulling the duvet over him and Taehyung.

Taehyung let Jungkook pull him closer in those arms. Tonight. Just for tonight, Taehyung would
accept the closeness.

===&=&===
“Hey.”

Yoongi looked over his shoulder to see Jimin hesitating by the door of his and Taehyung’s room.
Yoongi raised his brows, waiting. Jimin walked in, hands clutched behind his back and eyes
darting everywhere but on Yoongi.

“Uh,” he mumbled, not meeting Yoongi’s eyes, “are you okay?”

Yoongi looked at Jimin and nodded without thinking, “I am. Why?”

“You know,” Jimin flailed his hands, “everyone found out. We weren’t planning on telling them
this soon.”

“They saw us kissing,” Yoongi sighed, “we had to say something. It’s in your plan anyway.”

“So you are not angry?” Jimin sounded tentative, meeting Yoongi’s eyes hesitantly, “that I exposed
us?”

“Exposed us?” Yoongi chuckled, going back to packing his bag, “we are not really dating, Jiminie.
It was the plan anyway. It’s alright.”

“Right,” Jimin coughed, “so… can I stay the night here?”

Yoongi looked over his shoulder at Jimin with questioning eyes. Jimin shrugged, biting his lips.

“You know how Hobi hyung is,” he whined, “he kept asking how you are in bed and how good the
sex is and…”

Yoongi breathed out a laugh, “you can stay the night, Jiminie. Where is Taehyung?”

“He and Jungkook are in Jungkook’s room,” Jimin smiled, “cuddling. I went to them first.”

“Right,” Yoongi made a mental note to talk to Jungkook and Taehyung soon and nodded, “come
on then. Let’s sleep.”

.
.

Yoongi could feel the way Jimin’s heart was beating against his chest, erratic and somewhat fast.
He looked down to see Jimin looking up at him.

“Sleep,” Yoongi traced Jimin’s face with his index finger, “want me to sing a lullaby for you?”

Jimin shook his head, “I am just…” when he heaved a sigh and said nothing, Yoongi waited.

Jimin started drawing patterns on Yoongi’s shirt while talking, “I am just not sure if you are angry
or upset with me. You look quiet.”

Yoongi wasn’t upset. He was just trying not to give away too much of himself in this arrangement.
He was just cautious. But Jimin couldn’t find that out. So Yoongi smiled.

“I am not upset or angry,” he pressed his lips against Jimin’s temple, feeling the way Jimin’s hand
grasped at his T-shirt, “I am just tired, Jiminie. I am sleepy.”
“Right,” Jimin mumbled, nodding, “good night, hyung.”

“Good night, baby,” Yoongi grinned when Jimin looked up at him with wide eyes, “what? We are
fake boyfriends now. Get used to me calling you nicknames.”

“You will?” Jimin asked, a forlorn look on his face, “Call your boyfriend nicknames?”

“I will spoil them with nicknames,” Yoongi nodded, “now sleep, muffin. Good night.”

Jimin buried his face against Yoongi’s side, nodding, “good night, hyung.”

===&=&===

It was a month after the Bora-Bora trip.

Jungkook found himself sitting on the water-tank, looking up at the sky and seeing nothing. His
right hand held a beer and the left one clutched onto his phone. He looked at the last message. It
was from Yoongi.

“Meet me on the terrace,” the message read, “bring a few beers.”

It was Jungkook and Yoongi’s thing. They shared beers while talking and this time Jungkook knew
the talking was inevitable. His fingers moved on their own accord to find Taehyung’s number.

Taehyung was in the studio, recording his new song with Jin and Jimin. Jungkook placed the
phone beside him when he heard footsteps.

Yoongi came to view after climbing the ladder, giving Jungkook a soft smile, “I am late. Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Jungkook shrugged, gulping down the beer, “I saved you a few.”

Yoongi took one, coming to sit beside Jungkook while Jungkook opened the cap of the bottle. He
handed it over to Yoongi and watched the elder take a swig.

“You wanted to talk,” Jungkook went straight to the point.

Yoongi hummed, “about Jimin and me.”

Jungkook looked at the darkness ahead of him, nodding mutely.

“I know you love him,” Yoongi mumbled, “I know it hurt you. I wanted to apologize.”

Jungkook chuckled, “I don’t know what to feel right now, hyung. Shocked that you know about
my feelings or betrayed that you don’t care enough to stay away from Jimin.”

“Jimin asked me out,” Yoongi mumbled, “it wasn’t my decision. It isn’t…”

“I know,” Jungkook nodded, “I know you would not do it if it was in your hand. It’s hard to say no
to Jimin, huh?”

Yoongi chuckled, “you would know. I am sorry for hurting you though.”

Jungkook looked down at the bottle in his hand, ripping at the side of the label, “that’s the point,
hyung. That’s what is making me so fucking confused.”
“What?” Yoongi asked, taking a sip and looking back at Jungkook.

Jungkook looked thoughtful, his hands clutching the beer bottle and eyes stuck on the glass.

“I thought seeing him with someone else will hurt terribly,” Jungkook muttered, “but… it doesn’t.
It hurt to know he chose someone else. I am competitive, you know that. It hurt that you were his
choice and not me but I am not heartbroken.”

Yoongi blinked, staring at the boy beside him.

Jungkook heaved a long sigh, “I thought it would rip my heart out. That’s how every novel and
poetry described one-sided love. That’s how I saw protagonists in movies feel. Then…” he looked
at Yoongi with a frown, “why it didn’t hurt as much?”

“Are you saying you are not sad over Jimin choosing me?” Yoongi tried not to sound astonished, “I
came here prepared to beg you for forgiveness.”

“You don’t have to,” Jungkook smiled, “you make him happy. I am happy for him. Happy for the
two of you.”

“How did you realize you love him?” Yoongi asked, now fully turning to face Jungkook, “what is
love to you? I am curious.”

“Everyone doesn’t have the same version of love,” Jungkook sounded defensive.

“Everyone has the same feeling of heartbreak though,” Yoongi shrugged, “it hurts. Primal thing. It
fucking hurts. So tell me what you felt for Jimin.”

“It won’t make you jealous?” Jungkook frowned, “hearing another dude tell you how much they
love your boyfriend?”

“I left teenage a few years ago,” Yoongi chuckled, “left those immaturities behind, kid. Now go on.
Tell me what you felt for Jimin.”

Jungkook finished the beer, shoving the empty bottle in the cooler and pulling out a new one,
“What I feel for Jimin, you mean.”

“That’s…” Yoongi raised his brows, “go on.”

“I love how he dances,” Jungkook started, “that’s the first thing I noticed about him. He dances so
perfectly, it leaves me in awe. Then I started loving how soft-hearted he is, he is the most gentle
and loving person I know. When Jimin smiles at me or when he hugs me, it feels so good. I love
the thought of spending my mornings with him where he is all smiley and happy. I love the thought
of being his dance partner, someone he trusts enough to take the leaps with,” Jungkook counted on
his fingers, “I love how perfect he is.”

Yoongi was quietly looking at him and Jungkook wasn’t sure if Yoongi was planning his murder
or was just thoughtful. He nudged Yoongi’s knee with his.

“How do you feel about him?”

Yoongi looked ahead, “Jimin had his first panic attack when he was a trainee,” his voice dropped
an octave, “I found him gasping for breath and whimpering on the floor of the dance studio,” there
was a faraway look on Yoongi’s face, “he grasped at me and kept asking me if I could breathe
properly because he couldn’t. I was there while he vomited nothing but water on the floor. He was
missing meals, he was taking those pills to keep him going but it all came crashing down like that.
We took him to the hospital, me and Namjoon, and decided to not tell you guys because you would
worry. You all were on vacation. Back home by then. When he was in the hospital bed, pale and a
ghost of what Jimin actually is, I prayed to the Gods for the first time. I am an atheist but that night
I sat and prayed for him to recover and in that dimly lit hospital waiting room, I realized I loved
him. More than a bandmate. More than a friend. I loved him.”

Jungkook was listening with wide eyes.

Yoongi continued as if he didn’t even remember Jungkook was there.

“I remember how much I struggled to get him back to normal diets,” he chuckled, “I loved him in
his worst days. When it wasn’t smiles and happiness always. He was a crying, whimpering mess
about judgments, harsh words and criticisms. I loved him when he cried himself to sleep. It was
painful to be there and watch him fight his darkness. But he recovered and that’s when I realized I
was fucked. I loved how strong he was. I loved how he struggled and fought to come back to
normalcy. I knew it would grow tenfold with time and as I watch him fight against those prejudices
and win. I loved him in his worst and I love him in his best.”

Jungkook sucked in a breath, “I didn’t know Jimin…”

Yoongi smiled, “can have bad days?”

“It never occurred to me,” Jungkook sighed, “I am glad it’s you though. If not me, it should be
you.”

Yoongi leaned back on his hands, looking up at the dark sky, “have you ever met someone who
drives you mad for reasons you can’t decipher? Who makes you worried sick until you see they are
fine and it’s such a relief you go immobile with it?”

Jungkook nodded, “that’s Tae for me. He drives me crazy sometimes. I mean, he is so naïve about
things and people around him. They take advantage of him and I am almost always worried for
him.”

Yoongi had a smile on his face, “why are you always worried for him?”

“Are you kidding?” Jungkook looked at Yoongi, “he is just too selfless. People keep hurting him.
He doesn’t even notice…”

“You hurt him the most,” Yoongi cut in.

Jungkook paused mid-sentence. Looking at Yoongi and then back at the sky he nodded.

“I know,” Jungkook mumbled, shoulders hunching, “I don’t know how to fix that.”

“Grow up,” Yoongi patted his back, “try to understand where your heart is, Kook. I am no one to
tell you how you should feel about someone or how your feelings are not ‘it,’ for someone but I
am an asshole and I will tell you,” Yoongi paused until Jungkook was looking at him, he matched
Jungkook’s eyes, “you have a crush on Jimin. A celebrity kinda crush where you think he is
perfect. He is all sunshine and happiness. Without realizing he has flaws. He has darker days. He is
just as human. Seek your feelings, Kook, find out where your heart actually lies before it’s late.
Fight for that instinct and stop denying it. Listen to what your heart wants and do it. You know five
seconds rule?”

Jungkook raised his brows, shaking his head.

Yoongi chuckled, “five seconds rule. Ask yourself a question and whatever pops up in your mind
is the answer to it. Do it. Act on that five second’s thought before brain invades and tells you
otherwise.”

“You did?” Jungkook asked.

Yoongi shook his head, “I am a coward. You are not.”

Jungkook frowned down at the bottle in his hand, “what question?”

“What you want to do right now?” Yoongi asked.

“I want to…” Jungkook paused.

“Don’t let your brain decide, five seconds rule,” Yoongi patted his back encouragingly.

“I want to see Tae,” Jungkook frowned, “That’s ridiculous. He is out…”

“Call him,” Yoongi urged, “ask him out for ice-cream or shit. Go on.”

Jungkook pulled out his phone, dialling. He pressed the phone against his ear, looking at Yoongi
who was looking at him expectantly.

“Hey,” Taehyung sounded tired.

Jungkook let that voice lull him, “let’s go out and have ice-creams by the river.”

“What?” Taehyung sounded more alert, “Gukkie, where are you?”

“Are you done with your recording?” Jungkook ignored Taehyung’s question, “let’s meet.”

There was a pause and then a long sigh.

“I will take my bike,” Jungkook smiled down at the bottle, “the one you love.”

“I will be out in five minutes,” Taehyung sounded soft, sleepy, “see you, Gukkie.”

Jungkook let Taehyung hang up. When he looked at Yoongi, the man was smiling at him.

“I will see you?” Jungkook stood up, “bye, hyung.”

Yoongi nodded, watching Jungkook climb the ladder down.

“I hope your love wins, Tae,” Yoongi mumbled to himself, “because at least your love is not
unreciprocated.”

===&=&===

Taehyung leaned against the door of the studio, waiting for Jungkook. Everyone had left a few
minutes ago. He looked down at his wristwatch.

It was past twelve in the morning. He wrapped the jacket around him tightly, crossing his arms
against his chest and waited.

The sound of the bike caught his attention. Taehyung looked up and watched Jungkook coming to
a halt in front of him.

“You are late,” Taehyung walked across the pavement to reach Jungkook. Jungkook pulled the
helmet off and stood the bike properly before looking at Taehyung with an apologetic smile.

“Sorry,” he handed Taehyung another helmet, “I lost the keys.”

Taehyung secured the helmet on his head before nodding, “fine. Where are you taking me?”

Jungkook pointed in a general direction, “ice-cream. The riverbank. Anywhere you want to go.”

Taehyung held onto Jungkook and climbed on the bike, grasping at Jungkook’s waist, “let’s go for
dinner first. I haven’t eaten yet.”

“Okay, sir,” Jungkook started the bike.

.
.

The small diner offered nothing more than noodle soup at that late hour and Taehyung found
himself gobbling down as much as he could. Jungkook was taking small bites of the noodles and
watching him. Taehyung ignored that thoughtful look and concentrated on his bowl.

“Ice-cream after this?” Jungkook asked, wiping at his mouth, “we can leave the bike in the
parking. Walk to the riverbank.”

Taehyung shrugged, sighing in relief when his stomach stopped hurting from emptiness, “sure.”

Jungkook and he walked out of the sitting area. Jungkook paid for the dinner and Taehyung
laughed.

“You are paying for dinner,” Taehyung grinned, “no one would believe this.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes, “I always pay for food when we two are out.”

“No one believes that,” Taehyung nodded, “I didn’t say you don’t.”

Jungkook reached for Taehyung’s hand, grasping his wrist and tugging him out of the diner.
Taehyung could feel the way Jungkook’s fingers found his, entangling together. He looked around,
trying to see if anyone was watching. No one was there. Bikes and cars running on the roads. A
few people on the pavement. The sounds followed them while Jungkook started walking towards
the river, Taehyung right beside him.

Their shoulders touched and hands dangled between them. Taehyung looked down at their joined
hands and tried not to let that phase him. Eyes on the road, he sucked in a deep breath.

“Why suddenly this plan?” Taehyung asked, looking at Jungkook.

Jungkook had his head bowed, he shrugged, “just felt like it.”

===&=&===

Jungkook had never noticed Taehyung’s habit of hugging himself when he felt cold. Or maybe he
just overlooked the fact somehow.
Jungkook shrugged out of his jacket, wrapping it around Taehyung even when he protested.

Neither did he notice the way blush coated the apples of Taehyung’s cheeks, Taehyung ducking
his head to hide that small smile.

Jungkook hadn’t noticed how that made him feel. Proud of himself somehow. For no good reasons
except, well, Taehyung was safe and happy.

He found himself pulling Taehyung closer to his side by their joined hands, making sure
Taehyung’s side touched his. The warmth from Taehyung absorbed into him through the layers of
clothes.

Jungkook found that old ice-cream parlour they used to visit all the time before debut. Forgotten
and left after their diets started. It had been ages. The faces were new but the flavours were all the
same. Jungkook pulled Taehyung towards the display counter.

“One cookie dough and one butterscotch, please,” Taehyung ordered, smiling at the guy across the
counter.

Jungkook found out that Taehyung knew his order just as he knew Taehyung’s by heart. Taehyung
asked for an extra tissue, wrapping it around the cone before giving Jungkook the ice-cream.

“One spoon, please,” Jungkook asked. When it was given to him, he placed it on Taehyung’s cone.
He knew Taehyung liked having spoonful of ice-creams rather than biting on the chilled cream. He
had sensitive teeth.

Jungkook didn’t know how Jimin liked to have his ice-cream.

The thought was sudden, unbidden, and Jungkook paused while handing over the money. When
Taehyung tapped his shoulder, brows raised in question, Jungkook shrugged.

They walked out of the parlour to find their favourite spot near the Han River.

A wooden bench by the side of the river.

Jungkook sat first, brushing the spot beside him for Taehyung to do the same. When Taehyung sat
down, Jungkook held out his ice-cream for Taehyung to take a spoonful. Taehyung took a spoonful
of his ice-cream first, holding it out for Jungkook.

Jungkook took the offering, nodding in thanks and watching how Taehyung’s lips wrapped around
the spoon after taking the ice-cream from Jungkook.

The thought of kissing those lips was not invasive anymore. Jungkook thought about kissing those
lips every day now. His eyes were stuck on those lips. Jungkook shook his head, looking ahead at
the Han River.

The atmosphere was quiet. Jungkook pointed at the sky when he saw a shooting star.

“Wish something,” Taehyung said, closing his eyes and bowing his head immediately.

Jungkook watched Taehyung. Those lips murmuring words, too hushed for Jungkook to pick up.
Those eyelids fluttering while his joined hands came to touch his forehead.

Jungkook looked at the shooting star and joined his hands too.

‘Whatever he wished for,’ Jungkook spoke in his mind, ‘make it come true.’
Taehyung was watching the sky when Jungkook looked back at him again. There was a smile on
Taehyung’s lips.

“What did you wish for?” Jungkook asked.

.
.

‘Grant Jungkook his first love,’ Taehyung murmured in his mind, ‘grant him the one he loves.’
.
.

“You don’t say what you wish for, Gukkie!” Taehyung grinned, “don’t ask that.”

Jungkook nudged him, “come on. Tell me.”

“No!”

It was expected. The tickle fight. Taehyung was almost falling off the bench by the time Jungkook
had both of his hands tickling Taehyung’s sides. With a whimper, Taehyung rolled away, almost
falling off the bench.

Jungkook tugged at Taehyung’s wrist, pulling him closer. Taehyung gasped mutely, arms coming
to rest on Jungkook’s shoulders and Jungkook balancing him by holding onto his waist.

For a few seconds, they just watched each other. Taehyung’s eyes searching Jungkook’s and
Jungkook’s eyes searching Taehyung’s startled ones.

With a blink Taehyung pulled back, sitting as far away from Jungkook as he could.

Jungkook combed his hand through his hair, coughing in his fist and taking a glance at Taehyung.
He didn’t understand the fast beating of his heart. Neither did he understand the disappointment
filling his chest.

“We should probably go back,” Taehyung said after they finished the ice-cream. His eyes
anywhere but on Jungkook. Jungkook shook his head in denial. He threw the tissues in the bin next
to the bench and stood up.

“We have nothing planned for tomorrow,” Jungkook mumbled, “let’s go on a drive.”

Taehyung looked at the Han and then back at Jungkook, “it’s so late. Where are we going?”

“I want to show you something,” Jungkook smiled, excitedly tugging at Taehyung’s wrist, “come
on.”

“Wait,” Taehyung tried to stop Jungkook, “where are you taking me?”

“Somewhere,” Jungkook grinned, “now come on.”

===&=&===

Taehyung hated himself sometimes. He hated how his mind kept reminding himself that Jungkook
wasn’t over Jimin and how his heart wanted that closeness all over again. He hated how physically
drawn to Jungkook he was and how he wanted those close moments with Jungkook to repeat
themselves.

He knew it was a bad idea.

He knew he needed to move on and getting in bed with Jungkook would never help. But Taehyung
never really took the ‘safe’ road. He believed in following that alley which would lead him to
nothing but misery.

Jungkook didn’t help either.

He didn’t help when he pulled his bike into the posh side of Seoul and a gated residential area.
Taehyung watched Jungkook press a passcode before the gate in front of them creaked open.
Jungkook started his bike, crossing a few houses. Taehyung knew a few houses here. Some
celebrity houses he had seen.

The bike stopped in front of a house.

A two-story house stood in front of him while Jungkook pressed another passcode. The gate
opened to securities. They stood up and bowed as Jungkook and Taehyung passed in their bike.
Taehyung’s grip on Jungkook tightened when he watched the lawn, the backyard visible behind
the house. The garden illuminated with soft lights as the boundary.

Roses.

There were roses all around the house, like a halo. Bougainvillea climbing the walls to the first-
floor balcony. The pinkish hue all around the white surface of the house giving it a cosy vibe. The
lawn had trees on both sides of it, shielding the entrance of the house.

Taehyung loved atmosphere and the house itself.

He didn’t notice when the bike had stopped. Jungkook was waiting for him to climb down and
when Taehyung did, Jungkook followed suit. Taking the helmet from him, Jungkook secured in on
the bike and looked at Taehyung with raised brows.

“Where are we?” Taehyung asked, looking around.

Jungkook looked ahead at the house with a small smile, “I am thinking of buying this house.”

“What?” Taehyung asked, voice coming out hoarse, “you won’t live with us in the dorm
anymore?”

Jungkook chuckled, “no, silly. I will. But I still want this house… for the future.”

“Future,” Taehyung tasted that word on his tongue, nodding, “it’s in the countryside. Perfect for
starting a family.”

Jungkook had an unreadable expression on his face when he nodded, “for my family.”

Taehyung ignored the thought of Jungkook starting a family when Jungkook clasped his hand,
fingers intertwining.

“Come on,” Jungkook smiled, “let me give you a tour.”

Taehyung sucked in a breath, nodding and mutely following Jungkook in the house.

.
.

The house was everything Taehyung wanted in his future house. He walked around and praised
every bit of it. Asked questions Jungkook answered patiently. Taehyung touched every surface, in
awe of the swimming pool and the garden.

“Decorate it yourself,” Taehyung said when Jungkook mentioned buying it with all the furniture
included, “a house doesn’t become home until you decorate it yourself. The way you visualize it.”

Jungkook was sitting on the sofa as Taehyung moved around. His eyes followed Taehyung but
Taehyung was busy looking at the backyards through the balcony.

“I don’t really have any vision,” Jungkook shrugged, “I just want a bed and that’s all.”

“You kidding?” Taehyung turned to look at Jungkook, pointing at the garden, “you can build a
gazebo there. You have space. Then a swing because who doesn’t like sitting on a swing while
watching the sunset? You can plant more trees around the pool. It will stay cool, the water, and
yes, you might need to clean it every day because of the dry leaves but it’s worth it,” Taehyung
came into the dining area, looking around, “you can buy a large dining table. Large enough to dine
our whole group and more. You need a few changes in the kitchen. A fridge and cutlery sets. You
can keep a theme going,” Taehyung ran towards the bedroom, “buy yourself a large bed. Soft,
comfy. You can…”

Taehyung stopped when he realized he was narrating everything he wanted in his own house.
Whatever he wanted for his future self. A sigh escaped him and he turned to see Jungkook standing
by the doorframe, leaning against it with his arms crossed against his chest. He was watching
Taehyung.

Taehyung smiled awkwardly, wiping his hands on his jeans with a shrug, “or you can buy it with
the furniture. That’s good too.”

Jungkook walked in, looking straight at Taehyung and Taehyung looked at anything but him.

“Will you help me choose everything?” Jungkook asked when their toes touched between them.

Taehyung looked at their feet and nodded.

“Sure,” he would.

He would build a home for Jungkook if he was allowed. He would watch Jungkook build a home
in that house with someone else if Jungkook wanted. Taehyung would do anything Jungkook asked
him to.

“Make this house feel like home for me then,” Jungkook murmured, stepping closer.

Taehyung sucked in a breath, glancing up before looking away, “Jungkook.”

“What?” Jungkook asked, “Did I say something wrong?”

“You always say everything wrong,” Taehyung breathed out a hopeless laugh, “makes me wanna
fall for you all over again.”

“Go out with me,” Jungkook reached to take Taehyung’s hands in his, “on a date. Go out with me.”

“No,” Taehyung shook his head, “I told you I won’t be your rebound boyfriend.”
“Taehyung, Jimin is out of the question now,” Jungkook pressed closer.

“And that’s why you want me,” Taehyung looked at Jungkook with his heart breaking all over
again, “I wanted you to choose me. Over Jimin. Over everyone else. When you had the option. Not
when you don’t have him so you are settling for me. I don’t want to be your compromise.”

“If you are the choice,” Jungkook gripped his hands, “I would never see other options. I thought
you weren’t.”

“What?” Taehyung stepped back, his hands clutched in Jungkook’s grip.

“You were never an option,” Jungkook mumbled, “you know?”

Taehyung didn’t. He couldn’t believe Jungkook.

“I can’t believe you now,” he let Jungkook pull him in those arms, “not when Jimin is not an
option anymore.”

“I won’t ask you to believe me,” Jungkook muttered, “I have things I need to figure out. I have
thoughts I am fighting every day. You don’t need to believe me because I am not fully trusting
myself either but know this…” those lips were pressed against Taehyung’s shoulder when they
hugged, “I am not doing this because Jimin is not an option anymore. I can’t prove it now because
I don’t know what I am feeling but I will figure everything out and let you know.”

“Know what?” Taehyung asked, trying to pull away.

Jungkook let him go. His eyes moving over Taehyung’s face.

“You will know how you were never an option for me,” Jungkook breathed out.

“I am tired of waiting, Gukkie,” Taehyung tried to make it sound playful and failed, “I am tired of
hoping.”

===&=&===

Park Jimin loved in pieces. He loved in habits. He loved in moments.

His love grew bit by bit. Words by words. Actions by actions.

He fell step by step. Day by day.

Yoongi was his downfall and the most dangerous high at the same time.

Jimin had descended the first step when he met the boy for the first time. Yoongi was anything but
civil. Running on coffee and sleepless nights’ tiredness, he had grunted his hello at the newcomer,
going back to the piano right away.

Jimin had fallen for that grumpiness. For no reason, he had liked that pouty hello thrown at him.
He had loved the way Yoongi had played the piano.

He had taken the next step when Yoongi had bought him lunch, leaving it with a note that said,
‘eat it.’

It was a command and Jimin was endeared. It was his first mistake.
His mistakes piled up day by day and before Jimin knew it, he was standing over a mountain of
mistakes. Of moments where he had lost a chunk of his heart to his hyung. Until there was nothing
left to lose and Jimin found himself heartless. That void, shaped like Yoongi, in his chest where no
one else would ever fit.

Only Yoongi.

It hurt him. It scared him. It made him desperate.

He was afraid that no one else would ever fit in that Yoongi shaped void in his heart and Yoongi
would never want anything to do with him.

The desperation grew with time and the plan was born.

But kissing Yoongi in front of everyone did nothing when Yoongi went back to his old self just
when the curtains were drawn. Jimin wanted to have those hands in his all the time. He wanted
those lips to seek him out, curve up to show that gummy smile every time Jimin was around.

Jimin wanted Yoongi to feel the palpation of heartbeat he felt whenever Yoongi was around him.

Jimin wanted to have a Jimin shaped hollow in Yoongi’s heart. Where nobody else fit but him.

.
.

“We can’t have sex with others,” Jimin had said, pointing a finger at Yoongi, “if we are seen with
others, our façade will be blown.”

“So no sex for God knows how long?” Yoongi nodded, “sounds about torture.”

“We can do it with each other,” Jimin had blurted out, cheeks colouring red when Yoongi had eyed
him as if he had lost it, “it’s just sex. Who cares?”

“I do,” Yoongi had been adamant, “you are not thinking straight, Jiminie, we can’t possibly…”

“I want to try,” Jimin had begged almost, “before I do it with someone I don’t know, I want to try it
with someone who won’t judge me for being needy or desperate. With you.”

“This is not your first time,” Yoongi had sounded cautious, “is it? With a man?”

“No, of course not,” Jimin had rolled his eyes, “but I have never had sex with someone whom I
loved.”

I love you.

“Right,” Yoongi had coughed, “we will think about it.”

.
.

Jimin was thinking about it now. Now, when Yoongi was recording his rap and Jimin couldn’t
help but squirm on the chair. He looked at Yoongi in the booth and tried to calm himself.

He had always wanted to do this. Kind of imagined doing it. It was a fetish he had for a long time
now.
Jimin wanted to suck Yoongi off while he rapped.

It was maybe because of the way Yoongi’s mouth moved behind the microphone, words spitting
out with venom and urgency.

Maybe it was because of the way Yoongi smirked at the camera as if he was flirting through his
lines.

Or maybe because it was Agust D, the raw force of nature that Jimin couldn’t ignore.

Jimin squirmed on the seat, watching Yoongi read those lines and move closer to the microphone,
spitting out bars.

With a sigh, Jimin slumped against the backrest. His hands clasped together.

One day.

One day when he wasn’t so coward to face the aftermath.

===&=&===

Jin didn’t know how to respond to those soft kisses against his cheeks, the side of his neck and
then on his lips. He sniffled, arms around Namjoon while his nails dragged on Namjoon’s back.

“Faster,” Jin tried to urge Namjoon, “move faster.”

“No,” Namjoon gritted out, his thrusts slow and deep, “you won’t set the pace this time.”

Jin glared, Namjoon glared back.

“Why are you being such a pussy today?” Jin gritted out at Namjoon, gasping when Namjoon hit
that spot with more force, “being so weak.”

Namjoon’s lips found his and Jin let that kiss linger for a few seconds before jerking his face away.

“You can have this forever,” Namjoon murmured against Jin’s ear, thrusts slow and dragging
against Jin’s insides, “just ask me to stay.”

Jin pressed his lips together, eyes squeezing shut. Namjoon sped up then, fucking him into the
mattress. Jin whimpered, arms tightening around Namjoon.

“This is all we ever will be,” Jin spoke when he felt Namjoon ejaculating in him, “fuckbuddies.
Nothing more than that.”

“We can be whatever you want,” Namjoon pulled out, wiping Jin with the bedsheet before
climbing out of the bed, “it’s just that,” he picked up his boxers before looking at Jin one last time,
“you are a scared bitch.”

Jin let Namjoon leave in anger. He was good at watching Namjoon go by now.

===&=&===
“You look lost nowadays,” Hoseok said the next time Jungkook saw him in the rehearsal hall. It
was just the two of them, practising a new routine where Jimin would join them after coming back
from the date with Yoongi.

Jungkook sat with his head bowed, trying to gain his breathing, “just tired.”

“Tae?” Hoseok asked next, coming to sit in front of Jungkook.

Jungkook tilted his head, opening one eye to look at Hoseok questioningly.

Hoseok shrugged, “only he can make you lose your shit like this. You made so many mistakes
today.”

Jungkook shrugged, “I need to sort through something and I am being coward.”

“Don’t,” Hoseok gulped his water, “be coward. Face the fear, Kookie. I am saying from personal
experience.”

When Jungkook just stared, Hoseok let out a long exhale, his shoulders dropping.

“He was my childhood friend,” Hoseok laid down on the floor, looking up at the ceiling, “we
started everything together. Kindergarten. Our first day of the dance school. Our first sleepover.
Everything. Until it was prom night and he was there, holding out a flower and asking me out. I
knew I was pansexual. I knew I liked him but it scared me, kookie,” Hoseok let out a breath, “I was
ready to leave for Seoul the next day. I was terrified of a long-distance relationship. I was terrified
of losing him as a friend if it didn’t work out. I thought…” Jungkook noticed the glossiness in
those eyes, “I thought if I ignored those feelings and keep placing him back to that best friend area,
we will be fine. I was too scared to name our relationship something new. I was terrified of losing
him. But I did lose him anyway.”

Jungkook’s grip tightened around his bottle when tears rolled out of Hoseok’s eyes.

“He had waited,” Hoseok mumbled, “telling me he was ready to take the risk. He was okay being a
secret. He just wanted me. I was a coward. I kept telling him I saw him as a best friend and I kept
telling myself that too. Until it was too late and he found someone to move on with. I don’t blame
him. He had waited long enough. I never gave him any reason to stay.”

Hoseok turned to give Jungkook a wobbly smile, “he got married last night. I was invited to the
wedding.”

Jungkook reached out, pulling Hoseok in his arms, “oh, God, hyung.”

Hoseok cried, nodding, “don’t let the fear of losing him stop you, Jungkook. If you love him like I
loved my boy, just go for it.”

“I don’t know yet,” Jungkook murmured, “I am not sure I love him or not, hyung.”

Hoseok looked at him, wiping his eyes, “you don’t know if you love Taehyung or not?”

“I thought I loved someone else,” Jungkook nodded, “I still think I like that person a lot but…
Taehyung… I don’t want to break his heart by being anything but honest, you know?”

Hoseok nodded, wiping at his eyes, “then figure out what you feel for him, Jungkook. Choose a
lane. Don’t try to walk on both paths. You will find yourself lost.”
Jungkook looked at Hoseok, “I know I liked this other guy but how do you know you love
someone? How do you figure it out?”

Hoseok squeezed his palm, smiling softly at him, “it will walk up to you one day. You will realize
it out of the blue and I hope that happens before Tae finds someone to move on with.”

Jungkook said nothing. Their eyes snapped towards the rehearsal hall’s door to see everyone
walking in.

Hoseok squeezed his palm once and stood up, calling everyone to create a line.

Jungkook wished he knew how to act as greatly as Hoseok. He didn’t. So when Taehyung walked
in, Jungkook found himself immobile. Until Taehyung smiled at him.

Then Jungkook looked away.

===&=&===

Jungkook knew he was avoiding Taehyung but he needed some time to figure out his mixed
thoughts. Taehyung understood thankfully. He kept the space between them.

Jungkook stayed in his room and left only to go to the recording studio or the schedules they had.
He saw Jimin and Yoongi and there was this nagging feeling in his chest. It was more of a feeling
of losing a sport than losing Jimin. Whenever Jungkook saw Jimin with Yoongi, there was this
nagging feeling that Jungkook didn’t understand.

It wasn’t sadness. It wasn’t the pang of jealousy. It was just this feeling of curiosity at why he
wasn’t sad? He was supposed to be sad. He was supposed to be jealous of Yoongi but he wasn’t
and that made Jungkook even more confused. His thoughts raged through his mind. He looked at
Jimin and Yoongi. He looked at them more than necessary to feel that touch of sadness. He noticed
Taehyung watching him and he noticed the sadness in Taehyung’s eyes but Jungkook couldn’t help
himself. He looked at the couple to feel anything remotely sad but there was nothing. He wasn’t
jealous or sad about Jimin choosing someone else.

But jealousy came to him.

Jealousy came in the form of a tall man with worried eyes and careful arms around Taehyung.

Jealousy came unbidden and forcefully knocked Jungkook’s breath away when he saw Taehyung
kissing Bogum by the door of their dorm.

That pang of sadness, the sour taste of betrayal came in the form of Taehyung’s smile at Bogum
after the kiss. The twisting, gut-wrenching pain came in the form of Taehyung’s hand holding
Bogum’s and coming in the dorm.

Jungkook was twenty-two when Taehyung introduced Bogum as the one he had decided to go out
with.

Jungkook was twenty-two when he felt his second heartbreak.

Everyone looked at Taehyung and then back at Jungkook.

Jungkook found the sadness he sought in Jimin’s decision, in Taehyung’s announcement.

 Those tears pooled in his eyes when Taehyung matched his eyes. Jungkook breathed out a small
chuckle, looking over at Hoseok who was looking at him with an expression of pity.

Jungkook turned on his heels when the realization hit him.

He loved Jimin. He did.

But…

He was ‘in’ love with Kim Taehyung.

===&=&===

Chapter End Notes

For spoilers of this story (I post a lot of spoilers) and different stories - TWITTER
 { I'll close my eyes, then I won't see... The love you don't feel when you're
holding me }
Chapter Summary

It all goes downhill...

Chapter Notes

I am posting as fast as I can because I got a job that I will start from the first April and
then the updates will be late. I just want to get this story out as fast as I can before that.
Hope you all are not feeling overwhelm right now. x

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Jungkook watched Taehyung and Bogum while they sat down for dinner. He heard the questions
everyone asked them. Heard the answers Taehyung and Bogum gave. About their relationships.
Since when they started dating.

Jungkook kept his eyes downcast, chewing his food diligently while his ears perked up every time
Taehyung talked.

“He asked me out on the last day of our Bora-Bora trip,” Taehyung was smiling at Bogum, “I took
my time in answering.”

Jungkook let the soup swirl around in his mouth, the taste turning sour with time.

“I mean, boy, did he take his sweet time,” Bogum laughed when Namjoon snorted. Everyone was
smiling at them.

Jungkook chewed on the meat next, keeping his mouth full and eyes trained on the plate.

“Are you going to stay the night?” Jimin asked, looking at Bogum and then back at Taehyung.

Jungkook’s grip on the spoon tightened.

“No, no,” Bogum coughed, “I have to shoot, early in the morning tomorrow. I will leave after
dinner.”

Taehyung nodded with a smile. Everyone concentrated on their meals. Jungkook risked a glance
towards Bogum to see Taehyung looking at him.

Jungkook let his lips curve upwards, a small smile directed at Taehyung. Taehyung smiled back,
bowing his head to eat the meal.

When Jungkook’s eyes slid over to Yoongi, the man was watching him with a solemn expression.

Jungkook looked down at his meal.

 ===&==&===

“I will see him out,” Taehyung waved at everyone before grabbing Bogum and pulling him out of
the dorm.

Bogum laughed, following him step by step.

When they were out of the gate, Bogum leaned against his car, smiling at Taehyung, “they
believed we are dating.”

Taehyung nodded, “we kissed almost in front of them. Duh.”

Bogum snorted, “That was the weirdest kiss I have ever done.”

“Hey!” Taehyung swatted at Bogum, “you are an actor. We were acting. Respect your co-actor.”

Bogum’s smile dimmed as he looked at Taehyung, “tell me seriously, Tae, you really think it will
keep him away from you? If it does, is that what you want? Are you sure you don’t want him
back?”

Taehyung shoved his hands in his pockets, nodding, “he needs to sort his feelings out, hyung. He
needs to understand that he doesn’t love me. He loves Jimin and just because Jimin is not available
now, he wants to date me. Jungkook needs time to move on and not lean on me to do it.”

“He has a point too, Tae,” Bogum crossed his arms over his chest, “love can happen more than
once and it can happen gradually. Did you fall for him in one day? No, right? How can you expect
him to do so? It would have been fine if he learned to love you. There’s nothing wrong with
learning something. It’s wrong if he lied that he was already in love with you when he actually
wasn’t sure,” Bogum shrugged, “but he told you how he felt. He was ready to take the leap. He is
right. Every couple you see out there, are not in love from the go. They learn to love. They fall in
love slowly. You can’t expect him to just realize his feelings in one day. People fall in love more
than once too.”

“But what if he never learns to love me?” Taehyung urged Bogum to understand him, “I will know
how he is as a boyfriend and how it feels to have him so close just for him to break my heart all
over again by walking out on me when he realized he couldn’t fall for me.”

Bogum sighed, “You both are right. The situation, the time, is wrong. You two found love at the
wrong time.”

Taehyung chuckled, “I hope he moves on soon. Fake dating you is cringy. I can’t even call you my
boyfriend without wanting to laugh.”

“Same here,” Bogum laughed, pulling the door of the car open, “I hope you two sort things out
soon so we can stop with this pretence.”

“I need space, hyung,” Taehyung leaned against the car, “and he wasn’t giving me that. I had no
other option.”

“I understand that,” Bogum squeezed Taehyung’s elbow before getting in the car, “call me if I am
needed.”

“I will,” Taehyung waved, “see you soon.”

He watched the car roll away until he couldn’t anymore. When he turned back towards the dorm,
he saw Yoongi standing by the doorframe and looking at him. Taehyung walked closer and Yoongi
held out a beer.

“Wanna talk about it?” Yoongi sounded soft, understanding.

“No, hyung,” Taehyung shook his head, “I want to sleep.”

Yoongi sighed, “but you will find me if you want to talk?”

Taehyung nodded, “I will.”

===&==&===

Jungkook wandered into the kitchen to see Jin packing away the leftovers from dinner. He leaned
against the countertop and watched Jin move around the kitchen fluidly.

Jin glanced at him once before resuming his work. A bowl of ice-cream was placed beside
Jungkook while Jin moved to wipe the countertop. Jungkook snorted, taking the bowl in his hands
anyway.

“Are you really offering me ice-cream because I am sad? That’s so cliché, hyung.”

Jin shrugged, rubbing the cloth over a stain on the counter with force, “I am everything cliché. Sue
me.”

Jungkook took a spoonful of ice-cream and suckled onto it, watching Jin work. They stayed quiet
for a few minutes until Jin was done and Jungkook followed him wordlessly out of the house.

Jin settled on the swing, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. Jungkook sat with his ice-cream.

“So you chose to let Taehyung go?” Jin let out rings of smoke, watching them float away, “even
when you love him?”

Jungkook chuckled, “am I that transparent? I realized I love him a few hours ago.”

“We all realized it ages ago,” Jin smiled, inhaling the smoke, “you both are dumb.”

Jungkook let the sweet taste freeze his tongue, swirling the cream in his mouth, “he is. For loving
me. He deserved better. I am glad he understood that.”

Jin hummed, “sometimes it’s better to watch your loved ones go than fight for them.”

“Is that what you are doing with Namjoon hyung?” Jungkook watched the tip of the burning
cigarette, watched how the fire burnt orange before turning the white paper into ash, “letting him
go?”

Jin chuckled, “his mum wants him settled, Jungkook. She has dreams about grandkids, a family for
her son. She often told me how she wants to see his son settled with a family. A normal family. Not
seven boys running around a house and playing home. She wants to give away the jewellery she
got from her mother-in-law to Namjoon’s wife. She is ill, you know that, and she worries what
might happen if she leaves before Namjoon has someone. She is always worried about Namjoon.
How can I unsettle all of that because of my selfish reasons?”
Jungkook watched Jin, feeling the glossiness in his eyes and the tight squeeze around his heart,
“why is love so painful for everyone?”

Jin chuckled, wiping the corners of his eyes, “love demands us to be selfless while slipping out of
our hands like sand when we try to selfishly hold on to them. It’s better to let go and watch them be
happy. Like Hobi. Like you...”

“Like you,” Jungkook sniffled, “like Tae.”

Jin hummed, “like Tae.”

“I hurt him so badly,” Jungkook let the tears fall from his eyes, lashes flapping against the
moisture, “I hurt him without realizing how horribly it hurts to see…” he let Jin’s arm come
around him to pull him at Jin’s side, “I hurt him every day. Every hour. Every time I touched him.
Every time I was in front of him, looking at Jimin and talking about Jimin. I…”

Jin let Jungkook cry, sob in his arms because no matter what, Jungkook would cry only in front of
Jin. No one else had the right to see him break down as Jin had. Maybe because Jungkook
considered Jin the closest to him or maybe because Jin loved him as his own brother.

Jin let him cry, arm wrapped around him and eyes on the sky.

“If we ever find happiness in the future,” Jin flicked the butt of the cigarette off his fingers, “we
will think of our first love and not feel this gut-wrenching pain. Yeah?”

Jungkook wasn’t sure of happiness because his happiness had a form of a wide-eyed boy with a
boxy smile and Jungkook had let that boy go. He wasn’t sure about finding happiness anymore.

He nodded nonetheless, looking over at Jin with a small smile.

.
.

“You guys are here.”

Jungkook and Jin looked ahead to see Namjoon standing by the backdoor of the house. Jin
stiffened beside Jungkook and Jungkook looked on.

Namjoon took a glance at Jin before pointing at Jungkook.

“Taehyung was searching for you.”

Jungkook stood up, looking back at Jin, “wanna come in?”

Jin shook his head, “I will just sit here for a bit.”

Jungkook nodded, walking past Namjoon. When he turned to close the backdoor behind him, he
saw Namjoon going and sitting down beside Jin.

Jungkook closed the door.

===&==&===

Crying helped.
Jungkook knew that but he had never really done it until now. It took the edge off his chest. It
helped him look at Taehyung and not beg him to come back to Jungkook.

Taehyung was sitting on his bed and Jungkook didn’t know what to do so he went and sat down
beside Taehyung.

“I thought you went out,” Taehyung said, awkwardly looking at anywhere but at Jungkook.

Jungkook shrugged, “I was with Jin hyung.”

“Right,” Taehyung sat by the edge of the bed, “well, I…”

“I am happy for you, Tae,” Jungkook smiled, hoping the smile looked as genuine as he felt, “I am
happy that you are moving on.”

Taehyung’s eyes snapped to meet his and for a second he looked sad. Then he was smiling at
Jungkook and nodding in thanks.

“Bogum understands you,” Jungkook reached out to take Taehyung’s hands in his, squeezing them
together, “he is mature. He will take good care of you.”

“I don’t need a boyfriend because he can be my guardian, Jungkook,” Taehyung sounded offended,
pulling his hands back, “I need him to be by my side for the sake of it. Because I like him.”

“So you will learn to love him one day?” Jungkook looked at Taehyung when he nodded.

“Of course,” Taehyung nodded with a frown, “I will.”

“And it’s not okay if I did that? With us?” Jungkook couldn’t help the jibe, he didn’t want to but
that selfish part of him was hard to bury.

Taehyung went blank for a moment. His eyes were wide on Jungkook. Jungkook chuckled, shaking
his head.

“I am joking,” he waved it off, “I am happy for you, Tae.”

Taehyung looked down with a nod, “thanks.”

“Why were you searching for me?”

Taehyung shrugged, “nothing important. I just… was wondering where you went.”

“Right,” Jungkook coughed in his fist, “I am sleepy. If you have nothing to say…”

Taehyung shot up, “of course. I will see you tomorrow.”

Jungkook smiled with a nod. The smile dimmed until there was nothing left as Jungkook watched
Taehyung leave.

===&==&===

“The door was always open for you,

Without me knowing, I left the key in your hand…
Don’t you see the lock is in the shape of your name?
I already lost in your game.
The window opened for me too, without me knowing,
 I fell for you…
If your forever is falling down now,
Mine did too.
I was destined to want you…
I would want you now and forever,
If you let me.
But, tell me
how can I ask you to wait
when you already reached the shore…
where someone else
is waiting for you?
tell me how to call you back,
tell me if I am still more than
a friend to you
or it’s all in my dream now.
It is maybe, from now.
So I don’t ask you to wait,
instead, I watch you go…
Because I didn’t wake up feeling more,
I saw.
I saw the love I had for you
When you found your shore in someone else.
So I let you go…
Because you are my best friend and I would let you go
If you already found your shore…
We were the ships of the night
And I am sailing alone
Now that you
found your shore…”

Jungkook wrote the lyrics that night, knowing he would never be able to make it into a song.
Everyone would know otherwise and Taehyung would know. He couldn’t let that happen.
Jungkook folded the corner of the page and closed his diary. He laid on his back, looking up at the
ceiling.

The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was the tears rolling out of his eyes.

===&==&===

Yoongi was in the studio when Jimin walked in, closing the door behind himself.

“He is back,” Jimin announced, “Sungho is back.”

Yoongi blinked, scratching the side of his skull with the pencil, “uhh… who?”

“Sungho?!” Jimin’s eyes widened in disbelief, “the guy I love?”

“Right,” Yoongi sighed, “right. What are we doing about it?”

“I told him we are going on a date,” Jimin slumped down with a pout, “and if you don’t take me
out, he will make fun of me.”
“That we can’t have on our watch now, can we?” Yoongi started logging out of his computer,
smiling when Jimin giggled, “Can’t let anyone make fun of Jiminie but me.”

“Hyung!” Jimin swatted at him, “where are you taking me then?”

Yoongi hummed, “how about a walk? And let the road take us wherever it does?”

Jimin’s eyes gleamed, “that’s awesome. Let’s go.”

Yoongi chuckled, “are you this excited for my half-ass excuse of a date idea?”

Jimin nodded, bangs falling over his eyes, “it sounds great.”

“Let’s go then,” Yoongi stood up, brushing off his jeans and holding out his hand for Jimin to take,
“shall we?”

Jimin looked at Yoongi’s hand and back at his face before grabbing the hand with a grin, “We
shall.”

Yoongi laughed, closing the door of his studio behind him and going for the lift. Jimin followed
him in the lift, standing side by side.

“Can we hold hands?” Jimin asked, tentative.

Yoongi nodded, “you know I like holding hands, Jiminie.”

“Tae’s hands,” Jimin looked away, “you like holding Tae’s hands.”

Yoongi slowly entangled his fingers with Jimin’s and gave their joined hands a soft squeeze, “I
never thought you would want me to hold your hand.”

“I always do,” Jimin blurted out, “whenever you hold Tae’s hand, I do.”

Yoongi ignored the convulsion of his heart, “then I will hold your hand from now on. Okay?”

“Okay,” Jimin let Yoongi pull him closer.

“For the sake of this looking like a date,” Yoongi murmured, spinning them to have Jimin against
the wall, “can I kiss you?”

“For the sake of the date?” Jimin whispered, lips brushing Yoongi’s, “you may.”

Yoongi leaned closer, pressing against those plump lips and earning himself a whimper from
Jimin. Yoongi’s hands ventured out towards Jimin’s hips and Yoongi squeezed the softness there,
kissing Jimin with vigour. Jimin’s arms circled his neck, pulling him closer.

“Hyung,” Jimin whined when Yoongi applied pressure on his lower lip, tugging at it with his teeth,
“oh.”

Yoongi sucked that soft lip into his mouth, kissing Jimin with everything he had. There was a
sound of the lift’s door sliding open and when Yoongi broke the kiss, the door was almost closing.

Jimin paid it no mind, his eyes on Yoongi. Yoongi pecked his lips once before stepping out of the
lift with Jimin’s hand tightly secured in his.

.
.

Jimin’s laughs were like the melodies Yoongi had saved under the folder ‘listen when you are
upset.’ They made Yoongi smile, they made Yoongi’s stomach roll with fireflies flapping their
wings in it. They made his chest fill with too much air.

His voice tingled. Yoongi’s skin broke with goosebumps every time Jimin called him hyung. Every
time Jimin whined about something he wanted.

Jimin’s touches were euphoric. The way he held Yoongi’s hand, the way he swatted at Yoongi
while laughing at something Yoongi had said. It made Yoongi feel heady.

His heart sped up every time those half-moon like eyes dropped on his lips and Jimin’s gaze
intensified. Yoongi licked his lips, whispering how they couldn’t kiss in public. Jimin had agreed
but those gazes were enough to make Yoongi erupt with goosebumps.

They walked side by side, shoulders bumping, smiles wide and head bowed closer while they
talked about whatever caught their attention.

They ate whatever Jimin pointed at and went whichever way looked alluring. Until they were
leaning against the railing of the Han River and Jimin was between Yoongi’s arms, leaning back
against him while watching the river.

It was past two in the morning.

Jimin turned when Yoongi placed his chin on his shoulder, kissing the side of Yoongi’s cheek.

“I can stay like this forever,” Jimin hummed, “you and me. Here, beside the river.”

Something cracked in Yoongi’s chest and he chuckled, “until Sungho wants you back and you have
to leave. I will guard the riverside alone then.”

“Ask me to stay,” Jimin mumbled, eyes on Yoongi, “then ask me to stay.”

“Why would I do that when I know you won’t?” Yoongi let the bitterness seep into his voice, “just
enjoy the view, Jiminie. Don’t talk shit.”

Jimin watched him, letting out a small chuckle he turned towards the Han, “as if you wanted me to
stay anyway.”

Yoongi wanted to scream how badly he wanted Jimin to stay. He wanted to tell Jimin how
skillfully the boy was breaking his heart. But he stayed quiet. He just watched the Han River.

“Have you ever come here with another date?” Jimin asked all of a sudden, turning fully to face
Yoongi, “your dates?”

Yoongi hummed, nodding, “this is a good place for a walk or you can sit by those benches. I have
brought my dates here.”

Jimin looked past Yoongi with a nod, “thought so.”

There was a silence Yoongi didn’t know how to decipher. He looked at the river and back at Jimin.
Jimin was quiet, his eyes stuck on the river. The cool breeze made Yoongi shiver, he squirmed
closer to Jimin, feeling Jimin’s back pressing more against his chest. Jimin was pressed against the
railing and Yoongi was pressed against his back.
“Hyung,” Jimin murmured, his hands finding Yoongi’s on the railing and entangling with them,
“take me somewhere you didn’t take any of your dates before.”

Yoongi looked at Jimin and sighed, “it’s past midnight, Jiminie.”

“Not today,” Jimin turned his head a little to see Yoongi, “tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow.
Some day. Take me somewhere you never took anyone.”

Yoongi nodded. He would take Jimin anywhere he wanted, “someday.”

Jimin smiled, “someday.”

“Now let’s go and eat something,” Yoongi pulled at Jimin’s hand, “I am hungry.”

Jimin entangled their hands, “no drinking.”

Yoongi wouldn’t risk that. So he agreed.

“No drinking.”

They walked back into a small diner. Ordering noodles and soup. They sat across from each other,
eating, laughing, and talking.

Time passed faster for the two of them and when they got back in the building, their hands were
joined between them.

Yoongi stood by Jimin’s bedroom door, kissing him against the door like teenagers in love. Jimin
was pulling him closer, opening the door of his room. Yoongi pulled back with a cruse, shaking his
head.

“We can’t go further,” he shook his head, “we are not going further…”

“Why not?” Jimin kissed him feverishly, whimpering in Yoongi’s mouth, “We are adults. It’s just
sex. Please, hyung.”

“No,” Yoongi couldn’t tell how it wouldn’t be ‘just sex,’ for him. He pulled back with a forlorn
expression. He ignored how dishevelled Jimin looked. Or how alluring Jimin was.

Jimin stepped forward, pulling Yoongi closer, “tell me you don’t want this. Us. Sex. We can do it,
hyung,” he let his hands wander, feel Yoongi’s chest, abdomen, hips, muscles under his touch,
“tell me you don’t want me to suck you off. Tell me you don’t want to cum in me.”

“Fuck,” Yoongi shook his head, “you love someone else! Jimin.”

“This is just sex,” Jimin shrugged, already dragging Yoongi in his room, “it doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me,” Yoongi pulled back, “We can’t. I…” he squeezed his eyes shut, “I can’t.”

As he stepped away from Jimin, Jimin watched him.

“I will be here,” Jimin gripped the doorknob, “for you tonight,” he started unbuttoning his shirt and
Yoongi’s eyes followed his fingers, “for you to have,” Jimin stood there with his shirt gaping, “if
you really don’t want this, go away.”

The door closed on his face and Yoongi just stood there, breathing heavily. He leaned his forehead
against the wooden door and cursed.
He wanted Jimin. Of course, he wanted Jimin but… at what cost? Jimin would forget this. To
Jimin, it meant nothing but to him… he would never forget.

But Yoongi wanted to. Yoongi wanted to take whatever Jimin was ready to give. Whatever Jimin
would let him have. If it was one night with him then be it. He didn’t want to forget either.

He pushed the door open and sucked in a breath when he saw Jimin sitting by the edge of the bed,
upper body bare and glistening under the fluorescent light. Jimin stood up on his feet, sprang up
almost and Yoongi lost it. He marched forward until he could tug Jimin in his arms and kiss him.

“Only tonight,” he murmured against Jimin’s lips, “fuck. Only tonight I will let you do this to me.
You vixen.”

“Am I?” Jimin smiled in the kiss, the fierce kiss Yoongi punished him with, “a vixen to you?”

Yoongi’s right palm squeezed at Jimin’s hip and his left one grabbed Jimin’s nape to angle his
head properly for his kisses, “fucking vixen. You are. The way you move, the way you walk
around. I want to…” Yoongi didn’t like talking a lot during sex, he wasn’t the talkative type but
Jimin made him a lot of things and apparently one of them was making him talk freely, “when you
dance like that, your body rolls on the dancefloor, I want to drag you off and make you kneel in
front of me.”

Jimin whined, “Then make me kneel in front of you. Do you think I don’t feel like kneeling when
you rap? God! I want to suck you off when you spit bars at the audience. I want you to fuck my
mouth while you do one of your lives and rap along your lines. I want you to ruin my voice for
others to know that I was on my knees for you.”

“Kneel then,” Yoongi pushed him away a little to hold Jimin’s eyes, “kneel and suck me off.”

Jimin dropped on his knees without any hesitation. He looked up at Yoongi, held his eyes, as he
tugged at his jeans. Yoongi let Jimin unbutton his jeans and tug it out of the way and around his
ankles. Then Jimin was pulling his boxer down and his cock was springing free. Half-hard already.

Jimin’s eyes dropped to take in Yoongi’s dick and Yoongi twitched.

“Show me how your mouth works,” Yoongi said when Jimin held his dick, his hand unable to
wrap fully around the base of Yoongi’s girth, “suck me off.”

Jimin leaned forward, tongue out of his mouth, and licked a stripe on Yoongi’s dick, from the base
to the head. Yoongi hissed, fingers combing through Jimin’s hair to grasp at it.

Jimin kissed the slit, tongue poking out to lap there. Yoongi watched, feeling the way his gut
twisted to produce heat that spread through his veins.

“Look at me,” Jimin whimpered, “don’t look away, hyung, look at me.”

Yoongi did. Looked down at Jimin with his jaw clenched so he didn’t say anything stupid.

Jimin sucked the head of Yoongi’s cock in his mouth, wrapping his tongue around it before
lapping more of Yoongi in. Yoongi groaned, fist tightening in Jimin’s hair.

Jimin let Yoongi thrust into his mouth, tasting skin and the musky substance on his tongue. He let
Yoongi decide the pace. Jimin loosened his jaw, hiding his teeth behind his lips and taking in
Yoongi’s cock as much as he could.
Yoongi gave a small thrust, seeing how much of him Jimin could take without choking. Jimin let
his palms rest on Yoongi’s thighs, open and balancing him while Yoongi thrust into his mouth.

Yoongi held the base of him and slowly pulled out, watching how a string of saliva connected the
head of his cock to Jimin’s lip. He let out a growl before pushing back into Jimin’s mouth. His hips
stuttered when Jimin let out a whimper, Yoongi felt the back of Jimin’s throat contorting to
accommodate him.

“Look at you,” Yoongi grunted, “so readily taking me down your throat. You are not even
gagging. How much of a slut one needs to be to give such a great blowjob?”

Jimin blinked up at him, sucking the length on his tongue and feeling the pre-cum dripping into his
mouth. He could feel tears rolling out of his eyes and Yoongi wiped at them with his thumb.

Jimin sucked harder. His throat was contorting around Yoongi but Jimin ignored the burning and
focused on Yoongi’s expression. There was the sound of saliva smoothening the glide and
Yoongi’s ragged breathing. Jimin could feel his knees protesting, legs stiffening on the hard floor
but he let Yoongi use his mouth. Yoongi’s tongue was peeking out of his lips, eyes focused on
Jimin while he thrust into Jimin’s mouth and pulled out just as fast. The rhythm continued,
Yoongi’s hands behind Jimin’s head to hold him still and Jimin’s hands on Yoongi’s thighs to
control the thrusts as much as he could.

“Such a lovely cockslut,” Yoongi murmured, “taking my cock so well. Fuck.”

His thrusts picked up, relentlessly fucking into Jimin’s mouth and Jimin’s throat hurt but he went
along because he had never seen Yoongi lose control of himself like this. He had never seen that
expression on Yoongi’s face before Yoongi threw his head back, eyes squeezed shut. His lips
moved with curses, calling Jimin names.

Jimin sucked harder, letting his tongue caress the cock in his mouth, trying to take in as much as he
could.

Saliva was dripping from his mouth, making a mess of his pant but Jimin ignored it when he felt
Yoongi’s dick twitching in his mouth and Yoongi’s thrusts speeding up.

Jimin pulled back, “don’t come in my mouth.”

Yoongi looked down, “what?”

“Fuck me,” Jimin begged, “hyung, please. Fuck me.”

Yoongi cursed, holding the base of his dick, “on the bed, then. Now.”

Jimin scrambled on his feet, kicking off his jeans and briefs to climb on the bed. Yoongi followed,
pushing Jimin down on his back.

“Lube? Condom?” Yoongi had his eyes sharply on Jimin.

Jimin pointed at the bedside table, “in the drawer.”

Yoongi’s eyes flashed, “How many of your lovers you brought here?”

“None,” Jimin shook his head, “you would know otherwise, hyung. None.”

Yoongi reached for the drawer, opening it to pull out a condom and a bottle of lube. He was still
wearing his shirt and Jimin started unbuttoning it. Jimin kissed Yoongi’s collarbones, going up to
his shoulders, prepping kisses anywhere he could reach.

Yoongi poured some lube on his fingers before leaning down to kiss Jimin’s lips, “this might hurt.”

Jimin kissed back, shrugging, “I will be fine. Do it.”

Yoongi nodded. His fingers found Jimin’s entrance and with a sigh, he let his middle finger circle
the rim of muscle there. Jimin hissed when Yoongi probed at the entrance before pushing his
finger in. He sought out Yoongi’s lips to kiss and felt Yoongi fucking him with one finger. When
the glide became less intruding and bearable, Jimin pushed down on the finger with a whimper.

Yoongi understood, he probed in another finger, crossing them and extending them in Jimin. His
lips moved over Jimin’s neck, chest and throat. He knew he wasn’t supposed to leave marks but
they didn’t have any close schedule and well, makeup artists knew how to use concealer.

Yoongi let his lips press against Jimin’s throat, sucking, kissing, and biting. Jimin whimpered, his
legs locking around Yoongi and his arms caressed Yoongi’s back.

Yoongi let in another finger, fucking Jimin with three fingers now, murmuring sweet nothings for
Jimin to hear. Jimin’s arms tightened around him when Yoongi pushed in the fourth finger.

“Hyung, that…” Jimin cried out, head thrown back, “that… that spot. Please.”

Yoongi nodded, finding that spot in Jimin before letting his fingers press against the nerves. Jimin
cried out, legs tightening around Yoongi.

“Shh,” Yoongi kissed Jimin’s temple, “others will hear you if you are that loud, Jimin.”

“Fuck me,” Jimin pushed at Yoongi’s chest, “come on. I am ready.”

Yoongi pulled out his fingers, wiping them on Jimin’s abdomen before reaching for the condom.
While he rolled it on to himself, Jimin watched him. His own cock standing tall.

“On your front,” Yoongi rolled Jimin so that he didn’t have to see those eyes when he entered
Jimin, “keep your head down.”

Jimin let Yoongi arrange him how he wanted. Face planted on the pillow and ass arched up. Jimin
whimpered when he felt the press of Yoongi’s cock against his entrance. His hands clutched the
bedsheet tightly when Yoongi finally pushed in.

“Hyung,” Jimin whined, crying, “You are big. Slow down.”

“Fuck,” Yoongi bottomed out, waiting for Jimin to adjust as he kissed Jimin’s nape, his shoulder-
blade, “you are so tight.”

Jimin whimpered, hiding his face in the pillow, “hyung…”

Yoongi kissed Jimin’s back, his hands finding lavage on Jimin’s hips. He sat up on his knees, still
inside Jimin and pulled out a little. When he pushed back, Jimin was forced up towards the
headrest with a whine. Yoongi repeated those slow thrusts a few time.

Until Jimin was matching his thrusts with his own. Then Yoongi held onto Jimin’s hips and pulled
back until only the head of his cock was in Jimin before slamming right in.

Jimin cried out, back arching and the back of his thighs meeting the front of Yoongi’s muscled
ones.

“You look so gorgeous like this, Jiminie,” Yoongi murmured against Jimin’s ear, his body
covering Jimin’s completely, “looking so beautiful.”

“For you,” Jimin turned his head so their lips could match in an odd kiss, “I am all for you to
have.”

Yoongi sped up his thrusts, snapping his hips fast, “stop talking.”

He didn’t want to hear anymore. He didn’t want Jimin to tell him things he didn’t mean. Yoongi
wasn’t lying or playing when he said Jimin was beautiful but Jimin was lying. He was doing it just
for the sex.

Yoongi let his hand grab Jimin’s nape to push him down on the mattress while his hips snapped
against Jimin’s ass to fuck Jimin faster.

Their moans filled the room, occasional growls and whimpers matching the sound of the skin
slapping skin. Yoongi was close. His thrusts stuttered while he looked down to see his cock
disappearing in Jimin and how Jimin is gaping to take him in.

Yoongi groaned, closing his eyes as he sped up more. Underneath him, Jimin was a blabbering
mess.

Yoongi reached down to take a hold of Jimin’s cock, hard and smooth in his touch. He squeezed it
before starting to jerk it off. Jimin cried out again, murmuring ‘hyung,’ as a mantra. Yoongi let
Jimin come, white substance colouring his palm and the bedsheet. Jimin fell on the bed, ignoring
the sticky mess underneath. Yoongi held onto his hips to keep him arched while pounding him
from the back.

Jimin looked over his shoulder at Yoongi and moaned, “cum in me, hyung. Come on.”

Yoongi cursed, fucking Jimin for a few more seconds before his orgasm hit him like a wrecking
ball. He stilled, cum filling the condom. Sweat dripped down his forehead, down his throat to his
chest to his navel. Yoongi looked down to see Jimin watching him. He pulled out, tying the
condom in a knot before getting out of the bed.

He threw the condom in the bin, looking back at Jimin, “do you want me gone?”

Yoongi wanted Jimin to say yes. He was ready to leave. Not face the aftercare. The cuddles. The
‘boyfriend’ kind of stuff.

Jimin’s face fell, he looked away, curling in on himself. Yoongi watched him sit up, taking the
bedsheet to hide himself.

“Do you want to leave?” Jimin asked, voice wavering, “just like that?”

Yoongi cursed, going into the bathroom, he turned on the tap in the bathtub. When he came out,
Jimin was hugging himself, hiding underneath the bedsheet.

“I can’t carry you, Jiminie,” Yoongi sighed, reaching out to tug Jimin up in his arms, kissing those
pouty lips, “so let me take you to the bathtub.”

The astonishment was refreshing in Jimin’s eyes and Yoongi tugged Jimin into the bathroom.
Jimin grinned widely, “Join me?”

Yoongi was fucked.

===&==&===

Taehyung looked at his father and his father looked back.

“I need to tell you something,” Taehyung mumbled, “remember I told you I like boys?”

His father huffed out a soft laugh, “that’s not something you forget, son. But as you know, it’s not a
big deal. Not to us. Not to you. We don’t care if it is to someone. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Taehyung breathed, looking down at the bedsheet and shrugging, “I love someone.”

“Oh,” his father hummed, “right.”

Taehyung looked at the locked door and back at the screen where his father was still looking at
him, “and he doesn’t…” the words clogged him, making him tear up all over again, “he doesn’t.
Love me back like that.”

His father frowned sympathetically, “Tae, give him time. He is still young.”

Taehyung frowned back, “who are you talking about?”

His father raised his brows, “Jungkook?”

Taehyung let out a garbled laugh, “so my secret is not a secret at all? Everyone knows?”

“You are my son, Tae,” his father smiled, “of course I know.”

Taehyung sniffled, “he loves someone else and I am telling you this, not because I want you to
cheer me up or tell me to hold on. No. I am telling you this because I need to move on and I found
a way and yet…” he gestured with his hands, “I look at him and my resolve breaks, dad. I want him
to love me. I want to believe him when he said he would fall for me if I gave him time. I am so
stupid for…”

“How long did it take to fall in love with him, Tae?” his father had a small smile on his face.

Taehyung shrugged, “I don’t know. I realized I love him a long time ago.”

“You loved him when you first brought him here, to meet us. You both were so young and he was
so shy around us but he came. To an unknown place, with no known faces around him. With
nothing known to him here. He was awkward and shy, didn’t know how to communicate and yet
he came. He came because you asked him to. He came because it was you with him. He was
almost hiding behind you when I opened the door and he had this starry eyes gaze fixed on you
when you talked. Tae, I know you liked him even then. When you probably didn’t even realize you
were not straight. Maybe he liked you too.”

Taehyung opened his mouth around a whimper, tears blurring his vision, “dad…”

“But if it’s not like that now then I guess you need to move on. It takes time to fall for someone,
Tae, just like that, it takes time to move on from that person,” his father nodded across the screen,
“give yourself some time. Don’t be so harsh on yourself. Give him some time too. Time will heal
everything, boy, it always does.”
“I don’t want to heal, dad,” Taehyung wiped his eyes, “I don’t want to be wounded, to begin with.”

“You kind of lost that choice when you lost your heart to Jungkook, love,” his dad smiled, “you
gave it away to him and now you can pray he returns it as it was or returns his own instead.”

Taehyung shook his head, “don’t make me hope for things that won’t happen,” he shrugged, “I just
want to tell you, our album is dropping in a few weeks. Can I visit you and mum before that? I will
be busy afterwards.”

“You are always welcome, son,” his father nodded, “just let me know when you are coming so
your mum can make your favourite dishes. Otherwise, she will whine how we didn’t tell her about
your arrival and the arrangements are not up to her expectation, yeah?”

Taehyung smiled, “I will.”

“And, Tae?” his father waited for Taehyung to look at him before smiling, “thank you for trusting
me with your secret.”

Taehyung stilled for a second before nodding, “of course, dad. See you.”

He waved goodbye before cutting the call.

===&==&===

There were things about Taehyung Jungkook didn’t notice before, but now he did. Now he noticed
how Taehyung walked out of his room every morning with his eyes still closed and found his way
around the kitchen counter to sit on a stool, just to rest his head on the counter and sleep.

‘I love him,’ Jungkook thought to himself when Taehyung came to sit beside him, yawning.

“Good morning, Gukkie,” Taehyung murmured, smiling at him before going for the plate Hoseok
placed in front of him.

“Morning, hyung,” Jungkook focused on his plate.

“Any plan today?” Namjoon asked, eating his cereal.

“We have to shoot Run BTS,” Jin sat down with his bowl, “and then we are free for the night.”

“I am leaving for Daegu tonight,” Taehyung sighed, “so see you all after the weekend.”

“Suddenly leaving?” Hoseok asked, his eyes following Yoongi who just walked out in the living
room, followed by Jimin, “anything special?”

Taehyung smirked at Jimin when he sat down beside him before shrugging at Hoseok, “nothing
special. I just miss them.”

“Who?” Yoongi asked, reaching out for the juice when Jimin held out a glass for him to take.

“Look how domestic they already are, Joonie,” Jin cooed at Yoongi and Jimin.

Taehyung laughed, poking at Jimin, “you are one smitten boy.”

“Can we drop this,” Yoongi sighed, “the director called me already. We need to hurry. The set is
ready and they are waiting.”

“Why didn’t they call me?” Namjoon looked down at his phone and cursed, “Fuck, it’s out of
charge.”

“How do you miss charging your phone, Joon?!” Jin chided, “aunty could have called and…”

“Stop worrying about her so much,” Namjoon bit out, “she is not your responsibility.”

Everyone stopped in the middle of eating and looked at Jin and Namjoon. Taehyung leaned
towards Jimin, feeling Jimin do the same.

“I am just saying…” Jin was cut off when Namjoon walked out of the kitchen.

Everyone looked at Namjoon’s retreating back and then Jin’s eyes followed Namjoon. An
awkward silence fell in the room.

“Can you give me another toast?” Jungkook broke the ice, pouting, “I am hungry still.”

“Eat mine,” Taehyung held out his toast, “I am already full.”

Jungkook held Taehyung’s wrist and took a bite from his toast. Taehyung sucked in a breath when
their eyes met. Jungkook had his hand wrapped around Taehyung and Taehyung felt like that place,
where they touched, was burning.

Jungkook let go first, looking away.

Taehyung pulled his hand back as if burnt and coughed, hiding his face by bowing his head.

“Can we leave now?” Yoongi asked, “I will see where Joonie went. You all go and dress up.”

Taehyung nodded, watching how Jimin watched Yoongi with a small smile on his face and when
Yoongi’s eyes found his, hyung blushed, leaving with hurried steps.

Taehyung smiled at them, wishing his hyung and best friend find happiness in each other.

He squeezed Jimin’s shoulder, “you look ecstatic.”

“Because I feel ecstatic,” Jimin grinned, “I am dating Min Yoongi.”

Taehyung looked over to where Jungkook was smiling at Jimin. He was happy for Jimin but his
heart was breaking for Jungkook too. Taehyung turned to Jimin, telling him how happy he was for
him while his hand found Jungkook’s, squeezing it.

Jungkook pulled his hand back, frowning. When Taehyung turned to him, Jungkook let out a soft
breath before getting up.

“I will change,” he pointed at the general direction of rooms before walking away.

Taehyung watched him go with a sad tilt of his lips.

“What is going on between you two?” Jimin asked, “Kookie looks sad nowadays.”

Taehyung shrugged, “it has nothing to do with me.”

Jimin hummed, not pressing the subject anymore, “when are you coming back from Daegu?”
Taehyung looked at the clock and then back at Jimin, “by Monday morning. Why?”

“Nothing,” Jimin smiled, “I will miss you.”

Taehyung pulled Jimin in a hug, “I will miss you too.”

They broke the hug, walking side by side back to their rooms to change. When Taehyung risked a
glance at Jungkook’s room, Jungkook was changing out of his shirt in the middle of the room.

Taehyung hurried his steps.

===&==&===

“Mind if I practice while you are here?” Sungho asked Yoongi, knocking on his door. Yoongi was
working in the general studio, beside the rehearsal hall.

Yoongi shrugged, “sure. Why not?”

He went back to the computer but Sungho lingered by the door. Yoongi looked up and arched a
brow after seeing him still there.

Sungho chuckled, “congratulations on dating Jimin.”

Yoongi’s fingers stilled on the computer, “thanks.”

Sungho watched him, leaning against the doorframe, “I didn’t believe him when he said you two
were dating, you know?”

Yoongi wanted him gone. He kept his posture tight and face as blank as he could though. His eyes
fixed on the intruder.

“I was kind of a pest if you ask me,” Sungho chuckled, shaking his head, “begging him to go out
with me. No wonder he denied it. He had you. Who would…”

“Wait, what?” Yoongi asked, frowning, “you begged him to go out with you?”

Sungho’s expression morphed into one of the worries, “no, I mean, no hard feelings, man. I just
really liked him. I get it that you two are together.”

“That’s not what I am…” Yoongi stood up, “aren’t you… you begged Jimin to be with him?”

“Yeah,” Sungho sounded awkward, chuckling to himself, “I mean, yes. I had this stupid crush on
him…”

Yoongi frowned, looking at the head choreographer and trying to understand what the
choreographer was saying, “you didn’t reject him?”

“Reject him in what?” Sungho sounded surprised.

“I mean,” Yoongi coughed in his hand, “didn’t he ask you out or something? Didn’t you break his
heart?”

“What?!” Sungho let out a laugh, shocked and puzzled, “I am always running behind Jimin. He
always told me he loves someone else and how I had no chance. Then you two started dating
 and… well, I went away with TXT to kind of forget and get over him. It worked, kinda but…”

“Excuse me,” Yoongi picked up his phone from the desk, “I have to leave.”

Sungho fumbled when Yoongi shot past him. His eyes following Yoongi until the rehearsal room’s
door was slammed closed behind him.

“Weird,” Sungho shrugged, going back to stretching.

===&==&===

Chapter End Notes

Read my twitter stories HERE

 { Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you }
Chapter Summary

'Cause all of me loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you'

Chapter Notes

For spoilers, find me on TWITTER

See the end of the chapter for more notes

===&=&===

Yoongi found Jimin in the dorm. He was reading something when Yoongi walked in and closed
the door.

“So Sungho,” Yoongi started, keeping his gaze intensely on Jimin, “he was in the rehearsal hall.”

Jimin sat up, book open but forgotten, “oh?”

Yoongi noticed the perplexed expression on his face.

“Yeah,” Yoongi chuckled, “funny how he came to congratulate me for dating you,” he stepped
closer to the bed.

Jimin sucked in a breath, “he… he did?”

“Uh-hmm,” Yoongi nodded, hands shoved in his pockets, “mind telling me why?”

“Maybe he was being sarcastic?” Jimin shrugged, not matching Yoongi’s eyes that didn’t budge
from his, “you know, trying to edge you on.”

Yoongi stared at Jimin, his shoulders drooping. He waited for Jimin to say more but when he
didn’t, Yoongi nodded. A garbled laugh escaped Yoongi’s lips and he tilted his head while looking
at Jimin.

“So you were never going to tell me,” he mumbled, the urge to kick something building in him.

Jimin’s flabbergasted expression broke something in Yoongi and he did kick. Kicked the chair and
watched it topple over.

“You were using me for God knows what and you didn’t even plan to tell me the truth?!” Yoongi
shouted, “Like a fool, I went through your plan,” he grabbed at his hair, pulling at them, “like a
dumb bitch I did whatever you asked me to do and you didn’t even tell me why? Sungho is in love
with you, Jimin, apparently a lot of us are, and you are not dating him because you don’t want to.
Then tell me, Jiminie, ” Yoongi’s tone dropped to sarcastic on his name, “why are we pretending
to love each other? What sadist kind of pleasure you are having from this act? Do you know about
my feelings? Are you mocking me?!”

“Hyung,” Jimin whimpered when Yoongi kicked that chair again, making it shoot towards the bed
and crash against it, “listen to me.”

“Oh, I did that,” Yoongi laughed, shaking his head, “I did listen to you and guess what?! You took
advantage of me! So what, Jimin, our fuck was a game to you too?! You wanted to see how far I
will go for you? Damn, is this some kind of sick bet you were playing with someone? To see what
I will do for you?”

“It’s not a game!” Jimin shouted too this time, standing up with tears rolling out of his eyes, “are
you nuts?! Why would I give myself to you as a joke?”

“Give yourself to me?!” Yoongi ignored how the bedroom’s door swinging open to reveal all the
boys who stared at them, except for Taehyung who was gone, “we had sex! Don’t behave like a
fucking virgin!”

“Sex with you matters to me because…” Jimin paused when Yoongi laughed hysterically…

“Because it was a part of your plan too?! What was the plan? Tell me! No, seriously, Jiminie, tell
me what the fuck was the plan of yours where you lied and made up everything for me to agree
with. Do you know how foolish I am feeling right now?”

“I did everything and I take responsibility but none of this was a bet!” Jimin whimpered, “I fucking
love you, you moron!”

“Don’t fucking lie about loving me!” Yoongi thundered, ignoring how Jimin flinched back, “you
think I will believe you?! Love, this fucking word is so fucking easy for you to throw around, huh?!
So fucking easy for you to misuse! You said you loved Sungho. I believed you. Now you are
saying you love me?! I can’t believe that! Not when it means nothing to you. Do you know it
means something to me? I did everything you told me because I loved you too!”

The room stilled for a few seconds. Jimin just stared openly at Yoongi and Yoongi heaved for
breaths.

All the boys were looking at them by the doorframe. Their eyes moving from Yoongi to Jimin.

“Yo-you love me?” Jimin mumbled, pointing at himself.

“Loved,” Yoongi hissed, “fuck you. I am done. I hope you got whatever you were doing and I hope
you are happy now!” Yoongi turned, hiding his face in his palm as he cursed, “fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

Everyone parted when Yoongi stormed out of the room. Shouldering past Namjoon and Jin.

Their heads turned towards Jimin when he dropped on the ground, hugging his knees closer to his
chest and crying while hiding his face against his knees.

“Give Yoongi some time,” Jin pointed at Hoseok and Namjoon, “but go after him and make sure
he doesn’t do something stupid. I and Jungkook will stay with Jimin.”
 ===&=&===

Jungkook understood the whole plan when Jimin narrated it to them between hiccupping sobs and
soft whimpers.

“You could have told him directly,” Jin rubbed Jimin’s back, holding onto him tightly, “baby, it
would have been easier.”

“Easy for you to say,” Jimin sniffled, “every time I tried, I would chicken out just by looking at
him. He was so intimidating. He is intimidating. I had no chance.”

“It’s hard to confess your feelings and let them step onto your heart like that, I know,” Jin sighed,
“but what you did was not a great idea either.”

“I just wanted him to see me as someone worthy and not just his Jiminie, like a younger brother, I
just wanted the validation he never gave me.”

Jungkook patted Jimin’s thigh, “I understand how you feel, hyung, it’s hard to confess to the one
you love,” he gave a chuckle, “and it’s harder to confess when you know the possibility of them
rejecting you is almost ninety per cent,” Jungkook’s mind went back to that bathroom in Bora-
Bora, something twisting in him, “we are all not that brave or selfless.”

Jimin whimpered, hiding his face against Jin’s chest while Jin let him cry.

Jungkook watched Jimin, trying to scoot closer to hug Jimin from behind.

“He doesn’t love me, hyung,” Jimin sniffled, “fuck him. Does he think I can’t move on? I will find
someone new and I will move on. Loving him gave me nothing but heartaches.”

Jungkook chuckled, “I would have jumped right in to scoop up this stupid idea a few days ago.”

“What?” Jimin and Jin looked at him and Jungkook nodded with a smile.

“I always thought I loved you,” Jungkook shrugged, pointing at Jimin, “kind of was ready to
confess even.”

Jimin looked at him with furrowed brows, “you thought you loved me?”

“Yes,” Jungkook nodded, “I thought so until…” he looked down at his hands, “until Tae got
Bogum and…” Jungkook pressed his lips together, exhaling through his nose, “I lost so much time
running behind someone who I didn’t love that way. But you and Yoongi hyung…” he squeezed
Jimin’s thigh, “you two love each other. Don’t ruin it.”

“You thought you loved me,” Jimin murmured, “that’s… new information, kookie. You know I
never wanted to lead you on and…”

“You didn’t,” Jungkook shook his head, “you never led me on. Anyone who isn’t blind could
probably see your love for Yoongi hyung. Well, except for he, himself, but I was just… blind to
my true feelings too.”

“You were,” Jin nodded, “if you thought you loved Jimin and not Taehyung then you surely were.”

Jungkook shrugged, “it doesn’t matter anymore. He has someone.”

Jimin wiped his eyes, “fight for it, kookie, and tell him at least how you feel. Honesty. Be honest
with him because look at me,” fresh tears rolled out of his eyes, “I didn’t tell him how I felt and
he…”

“He will come back,” Jungkook pulled Jimin closer to his chest, “don’t worry, Jimin, he loves
you.”

“Enough to want me even after all this?” Jimin cried, hiding his face against Jungkook’s chest,
“kookie?”

“Enough to want you even after all this,” Jungkook assured, sure of his own words, “I can assure
you that.”

Jin’s phone started ringing and Jin looked down at it.

“Taehyung,” Jin gave a small smile, “he probably heard what happened here.”

Jin picked up the video call, “yes, Tae?”

“I heard it from Hobi hyung,” Taehyung sounded frantic, “how’s Jimin? Shall I go back? Where is
he? He isn’t picking up my calls!”

“Here he is,” Jin turned the camera towards Jimin and where he was cuddled closer to Jungkook.

Jungkook saw the moment Taehyung’s eyes found them in that embrace and the worry turned into
something else. Then Taehyung coughed, looking down at Jimin with worry again colouring his
face.

“Jimin?” he called, voice thick with emotion, “do you want me there?”

“I do,” Jimin shook his head, “but you just left. It’s okay. I have everyone here with me. You come
back after the break is over, yeah? I will wait.”

“If you want I can come back right now,” Taehyung wiped at his eyes, “I heard what happened. I
can smack some senses in both of your heads.”

Jimin chuckled, “it’s all right, Tae, don’t worry. I don’t want you to abandon your family time for
me.”

“You are my family too, Jimin,” Taehyung sighed, touching the screen, “Don’t forget that.”

Jimin wiped at his eyes, “that’s why it’s okay if you come back after a day. I will be fine. I have
Jungkook and Jin hyung here with me.”

Taehyung’s eyes skid over to Jungkook once before he nodded, “then I will see you in two days,
yeah?”

Jimin nodded, “yeah. Sure.”

Taehyung cut the call.

Jin sighed, “I need to make the dinner. Want to help me?”

Jungkook and Jimin both knew Jin was offering that to distract Jimin and Jimin nodded, sighing.

“Let’s do that,” Jimin chuckled, “now that I have nowhere to be. Let’s make dinner.”
Jungkook saw the tears rolling out of Jimin’s eyes and reached out to wipe them.

“He will understand when he stops pitying himself, you know?” Jungkook shrugged, “give him
time.”

Jimin clenched his jaw, “whatever. If he doesn’t understand my obligations then fuck him.”

===&=&===

“What the hell did you just do?!” Hoseok thundered, finding Yoongi on the terrace, “hurting Jimin
like that?! He loves you, God damn it!”

Namjoon stood by the door of the terrace so that Yoongi couldn’t leave.

Yoongi glared at Hoseok, “so you are on his side?”

“What side? There’s no side!” Hoseok flailed his arms, “you both are on the same side. You both
love each other and if you have to be angry then be angry at me! It was my idea!”

“Your idea?” Yoongi frowned, “what do you mean?!”

“I gave him this idea when you would not even think about the possibility that he loves you back!”
Hoseok pointed a finger at Yoongi, “you were too busy pitying yourself and he was losing hope. I
couldn’t see both of you suffering.”

“He lied to me!” Yoongi couldn’t shout anymore, he just growled.

“He lied to you because he had no other option!” Hoseok shouted though, “he had to make you see
him as someone worthy of your love and you were always running away from him. What options
did he have? Everything is fair in love and war.”

Yoongi looked away, leaning against the railing and heaving for breaths.

Hoseok sighed, feeling Namjoon come to stand beside him.

“I couldn’t see you two suffering like this,” Hoseok rubbed his temple, “it is my fault that I
suggested him this idea? Hyung, if you want to shout or be angry then go on but don’t hurt him.
You hurt him already by saying you don’t love him anymore and…”

“How can I not love him?” Yoongi chuckled, tears glistening in his eyes, “I didn’t learn how to fall
out of love with him. If I did, I would do that ages ago.”

“Then don’t hurt yourself and him like this,” Namjoon squeezed Yoongi’s shoulder, “whatever he
did, his intention wasn’t bad. He loves you, hyung. Isn’t that’s what matters the most? He loves
you so much. He loves you enough to do all this, don’t lose him.”

Yoongi wiped at his eyes, “I need to talk to him.”

“Then talk,” Hoseok came to stand beside Yoongi, “but promise me you won’t hurt him like this
again. It was my idea.”

“I need to talk to him,” Yoongi pulled away from the railing, “see you guys soon.”

Hoseok and Namjoon saw him go.

“Yoongi,” when Yoongi turned back, the rappers grinned at him, “you go win your boy.”

They laughed when Yoongi gave them the finger but they both noticed the smile on Yoongi’s lips.

===&=&===

Taehyung sat by the window of his bedroom that night, thinking about everything and nothing at
all.

He was brought back to reality when his phone started ringing.

He picked up his phone to see it was Jungkook. Taehyung frowned and picked up the call.

“How’s Jimin?” he asked first, “how’s Yoongi hyung?”

“Jimin is sleeping on my bed,” Jungkook murmured, “I didn’t want to leave him alone.”

Taehyung leaned back against the windowsill, smiling bitterly at the moon, “how gentlemanly is
that?”

“Taehyung,” Jungkook had a warning in his voice, “that’s not how it is and you know it.”

Taehyung did know Jimin’s feelings were not changing for Yoongi, no matter what he said, but he
knew about Jungkook’s feelings too.

“Then what are you doing, taking the first chance to get him in your bed, Jungkook?” Taehyung
couldn’t help the bitterness in his voice, “I must ask, what kind of manipulation is that?”

“I don’t love him,” Jungkook murmured, “I have realized it, Tae, I don’t love him.”

Taehyung sat up on the windowsill, “what? Now that you have him in your bed, single and
heartbroken, you are not trying to get in his pants?”

“What do you think of me?!” Jungkook asked, indignant, “first of all, even if my feelings were of
love for him, I would not do that to him and second of all, no, I don’t love him. So doing that is out
of question.”

“How did you realize you don’t love him? All of a sudden?” Taehyung asked, staring at the moon
and feeling the cold breeze against his skin. Taehyung shivered.

“Because he didn’t make my heart break as you did,” Jungkook spoke softly, “he didn’t make me
blind with jealousy, you did. It was you I wanted in everything I did. You are the one…”

“Don’t say it,” Taehyung warned, hands trembling, “don’t you dare say it.”

“I won’t,” Jungkook sighed, “because I don’t deserve to say it.”

“What?” Taehyung clutched the phone tightly against his ear, “what are you saying?”

“Nothing,” Jungkook chuckled, “I just wanted to hear your voice before leaving.”

“Leaving?” Taehyung frowned, “for where?”

“For bed,” Jungkook hummed, “Good night, Tae.”

Taehyung couldn’t finish his words as Jungkook cut the call.

===&=&===

Jimin couldn’t sleep. Not after he came back from Jungkook’s room to his because he needed some
alone time. He stayed awake, looking up at the ceiling. Tears rolled out of his eyes and Jimin
wiped them, tired, sniffling silently. The dull ache in his chest was there and he couldn’t forget
how broken Yoongi had looked. That look alone was keeping him up throughout the night.

Deep in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the door opening. He heard the creaking of the door and
when he looked over, Yoongi was standing by the doorframe.

Jimin gave a snort, sitting up to wipe at his eyes, “anything else you want to shout about? Or
anything else you can kick?”

Yoongi walked in, closing the door behind himself to lock it. Jimin gulped, watching Yoongi come
closer to sit on the bed.

Yoongi looked down at his hands, wringing the fingers together. Jimin looked at Yoongi,
unblinking.

“Sungho’s words fucked with my brain,” Yoongi mumbled, shaking his head, “I behaved
erratically. I am sorry.”

Jimin let out a shaky breath, saying nothing. Yoongi risked a glance at him before looking away.

“I love you, Jimin,” Yoongi mumbled next, closing his eyes, “that’s why when he said all those…
I thought the worse. That you knew about my feelings and were making fun of me somehow.
When you told me you feel the same, I couldn’t believe you. Why would you love me?” Yoongi
snorted, “A pathetic excuse of a human like me. I have so much baggage. So many insecurities. I
have nothing to give you…” Yoongi looked up to see Jimin looking at him, tears illuminating
those eyes, “I have loved you for years now and I have always told myself that no, you can’t
possibly love me back. I still don’t believe you…”

“I love you,” Jimin reached out, hands trembling and cold when he grabbed Yoongi’s hands in his,
squeezing them in assurance, “I don’t care what you come with. I will take everything if I get to
have you.”

Yoongi closed his eyes tightly, a teardrop rolling out of his left eye, “am I dreaming?”

Jimin scooted closer, lips pressed against that teardrop on Yoongi’s jawline, “I love you.”

Yoongi let out a sob, voice clogged, “fuck.”

Tears rolled out of his eyes, closed tightly to hold them back but they squeezed out to dampen his
cheeks. Jimin kissed them away, one by one, murmuring how much he loved Yoongi against his
skin.

“I will tell you I love you every time you doubt yourself,” Jimin was crying too, “I will tell you I
love you every time you want to break us apart. I will stay by your side if you let me.”

“I have wanted you for ages, Jiminie,” Yoongi whimpered, “so either you come to me forever or
you don’t at all. Because I will survive not having you. I got used to that heartache. But if you
come to me just to leave, I will die…”

Jimin pressed his lips against Yoongi’s firmly, pulling him closer by cupping his jaw, “I have
nowhere to go, hyung, I love you.”

Yoongi sucked in a breath, tugging at Jimin’s wrists to make him come closer until Jimin was
straddling him, “say that again.”

“I love you,” Jimin curled his arms around Yoongi, foreheads pressed together, “I adore you more
than anyone. I love you.”

“Again,” Yoongi pulled Jimin closer, lips finding Jimin’s to press against it, “Etch it against my
skin. Make me believe.”

“I love you,” Jimin murmured against Yoongi’s lips, “I love you.”

“Oh, god!” Yoongi searched for Jimin’s lips, pressing his own against Jimin’s, “again. Tell me
again.”

“I love you,” Jimin sniffled too, “I will never stop telling you how much I want you. Hyung…”

Yoongi kissed Jimin’s face, prepping kisses everywhere while holding his face in his palms, “I
love you too, Jiminie. I love you so much.”

“You do?” Jimin’s own insecurities were clear in his eyes, “love me?”

“I love you so much,” Yoongi fumbled for words, wiping at his eyes and cupping Jimin’s face in
his hands, “I can’t make you believe but, Jiminie, I love you the most.”

Jimin sobbed then, gripping onto Yoongi and burying his face against Yoongi’s chest, he cried, “I
don’t want this to be a dream, hyung. Is this a dream?”

Yoongi rolled them over on the bed, Jimin’s back resting against the mattress and his chest pressed
against Jimin’s heaving one. Yoongi kissed Jimin’s trembling lips, pouring all his feelings there.
He intertwined their fingers together, kissing Jimin’s knuckles one by one.

“I love you,” Yoongi murmured, “I fall in love with you every day. Every day you smile at me, I
fall for you,” Jimin chocked on a smile, “I love you. I fall for you every time you make me
promise I would quit smoking,” Jimin let out a soft pout, Yoongi continued, “I fall for you every
time you sing a song so perfectly. I love you in all those mismatched steps we take where you are
perfect and I am not so much. I love you, Park Jimin, in all your perfect and imperfect days. I love
you when your makeup is on-point, you glow. I love you when you are bare-faced, swollen from
crying or drinking with me. I love you in your everything and if you let me, I will spend my whole
life showing you how much you mean to me.”

Jimin grabbed at Yoongi then, pulling him down for a kiss. Yoongi went readily, pressing their lips
together, open mouths meeting in wet kisses.

“Then promise me your whole life,” Jimin wiped at Yoongi’s eyes when his own were glistening
with tears, “promise me your forever.”

Yoongi rested their foreheads together, nodding with an earnest smile, “I promise.”

Jimin let out a shaky exhale, “stay with me. Stay the night.”
“I will,” Yoongi nodded, “as long as you want me with you, I will.”

“Stay then,” Jimin pulled Yoongi down to rest his head against Yoongi’s chest, “stay forever.”

Yoongi pulled Jimin almost on him, making sure their curves aligned and then he was closing his
eyes, “when I wake up, you better be by my side.”

“Same with you, hyung,” Jimin closed his eyes too.

===&=&===

Taehyung had the quilt wrapped around himself. He was not asleep. Worry for Jimin was keeping
him up and the phone call with Jungkook kept his mind occupied.

What was he talking about when he said it was Taehyung who caused him heartbreak?

The tingling feeling of hope that Taehyung had come to abhor came back. His ribcage too tight
against his soaring heart. Taehyung tried to hold onto that little bit of sanity.

Jungkook wouldn’t actually mean what…

No!

Taehyung twisted on the bed, shaking his head.

Jungkook didn’t mean that. Jungkook didn’t understand what he was feeling. He was speaking
nonsense.

The ring of his phone made Taehyung jump. Eyes on the clock that said it was past three in the
morning, Taehyung picked up the call.

“What the fuck are you doing, calling so late?” Taehyung asked, phone pressed against his mouth.

“I am kind of standing outside of your door, can you open the door?” Jungkook sounded disturbed.
He ought to be if he was actually out of Taehyung’s house. It was cold.

Taehyung sprang up, looking around, “I am not in the dorm, Jungkook!”

“I am outside of your family house in Daegu,” Jungkook spelt it out for him, “can you open the
door? It’s freezing out here.”

Taehyung almost fell on his face as he tried to unwrap the blanket and move at the same time. He
reached for the door and took two steps at a time as he went downstairs.

When he swung the door open, Jungkook was staring at him with a small grin on his lips.
Taehyung couldn’t match that grin when he glared.

“It’s freezing out here, what are you doing?”

Jungkook shrugged, “I saw what Jimin and Yoongi hyung did wrong, I wasn’t going to repeat their
mistakes.”

“What?” Taehyung stepped out of Jungkook’s way as Jungkook walked into the house. Taehyung
grabbed at Jungkook’s hand and pulled him upstairs.
“Did you drive here?” Taehyung hissed.

“I took the last train,” Jungkook shrugged, “almost didn’t catch it.”

“Who asked you to come?” Taehyung closed the bedroom’s door behind them when they reached
his bedroom, “why are you here? God! You are so full of nonsense.”

“I am here to tell you about my feelings,” Jungkook sounded determined, “I know it doesn’t matter
anymore. You are dating Bogum. But I had to confess. I don’t care how you feel about me
anymore but I had to let it out of me.”

“You being selfish again,” Taehyung hugged himself, “if you know I moved on then why…”

“Because I love you,” Jungkook grasped at Taehyung’s hands, “I saw Jimin and Yoongi hyung
break apart because they hid their feelings from each other. I saw how it hurt them and I just want
to tell you, I am in love with you.”

“Is it that easy?” Taehyung let out a laugh, “suddenly you are in love with me? What happened to
your, ‘I love Jimin,’ agenda?”

“I confused a celebrity kind of crush with love, Tae,” Jungkook squeezed their palms together, “I
was in love with you for ages and maybe that’s why I thought it was nothing but normal. I loved
you since I probably met you so I always thought of it as nothing but brotherly. My love for you
was never sexual or I never looked at you and dared to think how it would be like to have your lips
on mine or to have you underneath me. Maybe that’s why I didn’t realize what love was to me until
you were gone. I let you get away and then I realized how I feel.”

“Why are you telling me this now?” Taehyung hugged himself, sitting down on the bed, “it’s late.
If you think…”

“I don’t want to think, Tae,” Jungkook came to kneel in front of Taehyung, looking up at him with
stars in his eyes, “I thought a lot and it got me nowhere. I don’t know what I want either. I know
you are with Bogum and,” Jungkook sighed, “he is a better boyfriend than I will ever be so no, I
don’t want you to take me back. I don’t want you to forgive me for all the pain I made you bare
through. I just…” he pulled out a small box, placing it in Taehyung’s hands, he curled Taehyung’s
palms around it, “I just want you to have my heart and everything I felt for you since forever. I hid
it, I tried to give it to someone else. I tried to throw it away but all of it belongs to you and I am
surrendering myself to you now.”

Taehyung’s throat closed around feelings he was scared to voice. He looked down at the box and
back up at Jungkook’s eyes. His own were heavy with tears he refused to shed.

Taehyung opened the box to a silver chain with pearls all around it. Taehyung pulled the chain up
to see the length of it and realized it was a waist-chain. He looked down at Jungkook who was
looking at the chain too.

“For you,” Jungkook heaved a sigh, “I bought it when I wasn’t sure who it belongs to but now I
know. So, for you.”

Taehyung wiped at his eyes, shaking his head, “you can’t do this now… not when I am…”

“I will be leaving, Tae,” Jungkook stood up, “you don’t need to worry. I came here to give you my
heart and I don’t want anything against it.”

“It’s past midnight,” Taehyung grabbed at Jungkook’s wrist, “the trains are not going to run for at
least a few more hours. Stay.”

Jungkook sat back down on the bed this time, “if you want me to, I will.”

Taehyung looked at the waist chain and back at Jungkook, “all of this… because you saw Yoongi
hyung and Jimin?”

Jungkook chuckled, “They loved each other for so long and messed everything up by never
confessing and the route Jimin took was ridiculous too. I didn’t want to wait that long and take all
those stupid routes for my feelings to be out,” his eyes searched Taehyung’s face, “not when you
confessed to me so daringly.”

“It’s not a competition,” Taehyung murmured, looking down at the waist chain, “you bought this at
Bora-Bora?”

“I did,” Jungkook chuckled, looking down at his hands, “thought of giving it to Jimin but…” he
looked at Taehyung, smile dimmed, “the thought of Jimin wearing it didn’t sit well with me.”

Taehyung looked away, cheeks heating up, “shut up.”

Jungkook smiled, sighing, “I am late, no?”

“Yes,” Taehyung nodded, “I am still not sure if it was because Jimin is not…”

“Do you really think I am here because Jimin is now with Yoongi hyung?” Jungkook kept his gaze
on Taehyung, “I might have behaved otherwise but my feelings for you were pretty clear to
everyone. No? Ask yourself, Tae, do you really think I am doing this because now Jimin is not an
option?”

Taehyung looked away.

“I fucking never even tried to get to him when I had the chances, Tae,” Jungkook heaved a sigh, “I
had the chances and I blew them one by one when I kept gravitating back to you. I lost my chances
with him when I had my eyes fixed on you. Throughout the Bora-Bora trip, I was always with you,
wasn’t I? I wasn’t just sexually attracted to you, Tae, I was just attracted to you. I don’t know how
to prove it…”

“I need you to work on it,” Taehyung confessed, looking directly at Jungkook, “whatever you are
saying, I need you to work on it and show me that you really mean what you are saying.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened, “so if I show you how much you mean to me and how much I care, will
you be with me?”

Taehyung shrugged, “I might. I will think about it.”

Jungkook frowned, “but Bogum?”

Taehyung pressed his lips together, “he is not dating me.”

“What?” Jungkook frowned.

Taehyung glared, “I am not dating him. I asked him to pretend to date me so that you stay away
from me,” a huffed laugh escaped him, “look how well that worked for me.”

“What?” Jungkook looked confused, “you kissed him.”

“That was an act,” Taehyung crossed his arms over his chest when Jungkook frowned at him, “are
you judging me?”

“Yes,” Jungkook flailed his arms, “you are not dating Bogum and pretended to do so because you
wanted me to stay away from you?”

“Because you kept breaking my heart and I didn’t know what else I could have done to keep you
away from me,” Taehyung wanted to shout but he hissed instead.

Jungkook sighed, “that’s fucked up.”

“Whatever,” Taehyung glared, “don’t judge my choices when you weren’t there in my shoes.”

Jungkook nodded, “okay. I won’t.”

“Now,” Taehyung pointed at the bed, “sleep. I am sleepy.”

Jungkook hesitated, “on the same bed?”

“Why?” Taehyung rolled his eyes, “I won’t jump you.”

“What if I jump you?” Jungkook smirked, “I mean, you look sexy in that night suit.”

Taehyung swatted at Jungkook, “Stop sexualizing mini mouse! Get in the bed, for fuck’s sake.”

“Bossy,” Jungkook went to sit on the bed, pulling his sweater and jeans off to get under the covers
in his shirt and boxers.

Taehyung followed, pulling the duvet over the both of them.

They faced each other, both trying to hide a smile and failing.

“I haven’t forgiven you yet,” Taehyung murmured, looking at Jungkook.

Jungkook shrugged, “at least Bogum is out of the picture.”

Taehyung’s swat was answered with a laugh from Jungkook.

===&=&===

Yoongi woke up to Jimin smiling down at him. His head resting on his palm and his other arm
draped over Yoongi’s chest. Yoongi sucked in a breath, noticing how the morning sun rays
reflected against Jimin’s face, giving him a glow that illuminated his face.

“Good morning, hyung,” Jimin smiled, blush high on his cheeks.

Yoongi let his index finger touch the curve of Jimin’s lips, mapping out the Cupid’s bow with his
eyes and hand. Jimin’s lips puckered to kiss the tip of his finger and Yoongi shivered.

“Morning, sunshine,” Yoongi muttered, smiling when Jimin blushed, “you look gorgeous in the
morning.”

“I do?” Jimin leaned closer, lips pressed against Yoongi’s jawline, “When do I look ugly then?”

Jimin gasped audibly when Yoongi rolled them, hovering over Jimin with a smirk. Jimin let his
arms curl around Yoongi’s neck and grinned up at him. Yoongi ducked his head to kiss Jimin,
pressing his words into Jimin’s lips.

“Never,” Yoongi smiled, dropping his forehead to rest on Jimin’s, “you are always pretty.”

Jimin smiled, nudging Yoongi’s cheeks with the tip of his nose, “and you are always so
handsome.”

Yoongi snorted, “I have pillow marks on my cheeks.”

“You have drool at the corner of your mouth,” Jimin nodded, “still handsome.”

“You have gunk at the corner of your eyes,” Yoongi pressed his lips at the corner of Jimin’s lips,
“still pretty.”

“Will you call me pretty when I am old and have wrinkles all over my face?” Jimin sounded
melancholic, “hyung?”

Yoongi pressed his lips against Jimin’s cheek, “I will call you pretty when my eyes are hazy
enough to not pick up your wrinkles without glasses,” he let his lips skim that soft jawline, “I will
call you pretty when you will be in your eighties and I will be too. If it’s possible, I will call you
the prettiest as my last words…”

Jimin pulled him back in a kiss, “never say that. Don’t say that.”

“I want you to be my boyfriend, Park Jimin,” Yoongi chuckled, “though I dreamt to ask you on my
knees with a bunch of roses but… wait.”

Jimin sat up on the bed to see Yoongi scrambling over where he had discarded his pant. He found
his phone and Jimin raised his brows in question when Yoongi typed something on his phone.

Jimin watched Yoongi until Yoongi came to kneel in front of the bed, between Jimin’s parted legs.

He held out his phone and Jimin saw the picture of roses neatly knotted in a bouquet. He looked up
to see Yoongi grinning at him.

“Park Jimin,” Yoongi held out his phone, “will you be my boyfriend?”

Jimin let out a garbled laugh and pulled Yoongi in his arms, nodding frantically, “I will be your
boyfriend. Yes.”

Yoongi kissed him, pulling him back down on the bed, “we both are fools.”

“Such idiots,” Jimin agreed, laughing when Yoongi pulled him in for a kiss.

===&=&===

“Okay, follow me,” Taehyung stepped towards the bedroom’s door, “no, you know what? Go
outside and come back as if you just came.”

Jungkook furrowed his brows, “I am on the first floor, I need to go to the ground floor to leave and
they are there.”

Taehyung cursed, “Then jump through the window.”

“I don’t wanna break my neck,” Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me,” Taehyung warned with a finger pointed at Jungkook, “who asked
you to show up at midnight? How would I explain you being here?”

“Say I came to propose to you,” Jungkook gave a grin.

Taehyung swatted at him, “and then what? We rolled around on the bed? Do you think they will
believe it?”

“We did end up kissing a bit,” Jungkook frowned, “oh, wait. That was me dreaming.”

Taehyung blushed, “don’t dream shit like that.”

“So in reality, can I do it?” Jungkook leaned forward.

He deserved the swat Taehyung gave him next.

.
.

“Boys? Are you in there?”

Taehyung jumped, looking at the door with wide eyes.

“Jin called,” his father spoke through the door, “told me how Jungkook came here?”

Taehyung swung the door open, “he is here. He is here.”

Jungkook waved. He bloody hell waved. Taehyung wanted to hide himself somewhere. Anywhere.

Anywhere.

His father was smirking at him.

Let Taehyung hide somewhere.

Taehyung gave a stiff smile before pointing downstairs.

“We will come down shortly.”

He closed the door on his father’s face and turned to face Jungkook.

“Okay,” he pointed a finger at Jungkook who raised his brows, “don’t you dare wave like a lunatic
to my mum. She gets me every time. She will know you are bad news for me.”

“I am not, really?” Jungkook had the audacity to frown with a pout, “I am here to see you. Why are
you making it a big deal?”

“Because you showed up so late at night. You confessed and poured all your heart over my head
and now you are just wearing my clothes and coming out of my bedroom, what do you think it
looks like?” Taehyung thundered.

“It looks like we made love,” Jungkook grinned innocently, his eyes giving away his mischief.

Taehyung pointed at the door, “let’s go downstairs. Thank God, Jin hyung called. They already
know you are here. Otherwise, I had to show you to them.”
 “I am not a stray dog, Jesus!” Jungkook walked out of the room, following Taehyung downstairs.

Taehyung’s mother smiled at them. Pointing at the stools. They wordlessly sat down.

“When did you get here, Jungkook?” she asked, placing the plate of toast and eggs in front of him.

“Last night,” Jungkook smiled, picking up a toast, “it was late so we didn’t wake you two up.”

“Right,” she nodded, placing another plate in front of Taehyung, “are you staying today?”

Jungkook looked at Taehyung who was looking at him and shook his head, “I am probably
disturbing. I will leave around noon.”

“Stay,” Taehyung mumbled, looking at his toasts, “it’s okay.”

“Are you sure?” Jungkook asked, eyes on Taehyung.

Taehyung looked up to see his mother looking at him with a soft smile. He gulped, looking back at
Jungkook with a nod.

“You two can go back together,” she nodded, “you two should visit the carnival in the town. It’s
going on for now.”

Taehyung looked at Jungkook and Jungkook nodded enthusiastically, “sure, aunty,” he turned
towards Taehyung, “let’s go there tonight?”

Taehyung hummed, watching as his mum and Jungkook talk about his family. How he had grown
to be such a lovely man. How he looked handsome and how he was so awkward the first time they
met.

It was homey. All of it was.

Jungkook in his nightwear, sitting and talking to his mum. Smiling at her and complimenting her
cooking while his father came back to squeeze Taehyung’s shoulder.

All of it was so intimate.

Taehyung gulped the clog down his throat. He didn’t know where he was leading himself but as he
watched Jungkook, one thing was clear.

His heart still wanted Jungkook.

When Jungkook’s hand found his under the table, it felt like Jungkook’s heart was recognizing him
too.

===&=&===

Chapter End Notes

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 { Share my life, it's yours to keep }
Chapter Notes

2nd last chapter. I am a little nostalgic ngl.

“What are you doing?”

Taehyung looked back to see Jungkook standing by the backdoor of their house. Taehyung pointed
at the roses, kneeling in front of the plants with a smile on his face.

“Just watering them,” Taehyung caressed one rose’s petals, a small smile adorning his lips.

Jungkook came to kneel beside him in the garden, surrounded by the roses, “they are so pretty.”

“I know,” Taehyung nodded, looking at Jungkook and then back at the roses, “I planted them the
last time I was here. It feels like it was ages ago.”

“Last time, you mean,” Jungkook furrowed his brows, “when you came here instead of going with
me and Jimin to Japan?”

“I wanted to give you two some space,” Taehyung shrugged, pointing at a small plant that was yet
to bloom, “I was planting it when you sent me that message that you kissed him.”

Jungkook’s hand caught his wrist and Taehyung looked back. Jungkook had a pained expression
on his face. Taehyung smiled, looking away.

“It’s okay,” he murmured, “it’s just… seeing it reminded me of your messa…” his jaw was cupped
and then his face was turned to meet Jungkook’s solemn one.

Taehyung sucked in a breath when Jungkook kissed him, his hands holding Taehyung’s wrists and
his lips pressing against Taehyung’s parted ones.

Taehyung pulled back a little, “Jungkook, what-”

“I kissed you,” Jungkook murmured against Taehyung’s lips, “from now on, when you see the
roses here, just remember, I kissed you and I told you I love you.”

Taehyung’s heart thumped in his chest, his skin breaking with goosebumps. He sucked in a breath,
eyes wide and on Jungkook. He searched those eyes and found nothing but sincerity.

“You kissed me…” He whispered, feeling the way Jungkook leaned in, “and told me…”

“I love you,” Jungkook said again, eyes on Taehyung’s wide ones, “I love you so much.”

Taehyung could feel mud smearing against his clothes when Jungkook pulled him into Jungkook’s
lap, sitting in the middle of roses, they kissed. Taehyung whimpered in the kiss, watching how
brownish mud looked smeared across Jungkook’s cheeks when he cupped Jungkook’s face in his
palms.

Jungkook’s hands were dirty too, rough against Taehyung’s waist, under his shirt, where Jungkook
held him.

It was ridiculous. Taehyung smeared Jungkook’s cheeks and down his neck with the soil in his
hand, making a trail that he followed with his lips then. Jungkook moaned, arms tightening around
Taehyung.

“Stop before I take you right here for your parents to see,” Jungkook hissed, grip tight on
Taehyung, “where you can feel your roses under yourself.”

Taehyung pulled back, cheeks tinted, “you have such a shitty mouth.”

Jungkook pulled him down for a kiss that Taehyung returned greedily, rutting against Jungkook.

“From now on,” Jungkook pulled back, smearing Taehyung’s sides with the moist soil, “remember
we kissed here. Nothing else.”

Taehyung pulled back, looking at their dishevelled state. He looked at their wrinkled clothes and
soiled skins before whining and glaring at Jungkook.

“How can we walk into the house like this?” Taehyung stood up, “my parents are in there,
Jungkook!”

Jungkook stood up too, smiling softly at Taehyung, “want to go swimming in that pond?”

“It’s icy,” Taehyung swatted at him, rolling his eyes when Jungkook grinned, “Stop laughing.
Think. We can’t get in looking like we actually fucked in the garden.”

Jungkook looked around, a smile on his lips when he noticed that hosepipe by the side. Taehyung’s
eyes widened and he shook his head when Jungkook pulled the pipe up, turning on the knob.

“Fuck,” he cursed when the water hit him, “Jungkook!”

Jungkook laughed, drenching him in water and Taehyung reached for him blindly, trying to shield
his face while laughing and cursing at Jungkook. He grabbed at the pipe and turned it towards
Jungkook, drenching him in the process. They rounded each other, laughing and cursing while the
hosepipe kept showering them with water.

They were drenched by the time Jungkook pulled Taehyung against his chest, the pipe held in his
hand behind Taehyung’s back.

It was facing upwards, showering them with water droplets. Taehyung’s giggles subdued when he
noticed the way Jungkook’s eyes were trailing from his eyes to his lips and then he was leaning in.
Taehyung closed his eyes, feeling the soft touch of Jungkook’s lips on his. The kiss was gentle,
under the water it felt like they were kissing in the rain.

Taehyung’s wrists were caught by Jungkook, his arms around Taehyung while they kissed each
other again and again. Taehyung blinked, slowly opening his eyes to see Jungkook looking at him.

“I love you so much,” Jungkook murmured against Taehyung’s cheek, “I will keep telling you that
until you believe me.”

Taehyung hid his face, resting his forehead against Jungkook’s chest, “take me out on a date first.”

Jungkook’s arms tightened around him, “tonight is a date, Taehyung.”

Taehyung bit his lower lip, the smile tugging at them. He nodded, pulling back to match
Jungkook’s eyes.

“Then pick me up at seven.”

Jungkook watched as Taehyung turned to leave. By the backdoor, Taehyung looked back to see
Jungkook still standing there. Drenched and muddy in the rose garden. Something untied in
Taehyung’s chest and he smiled. He closed the door behind himself, panting against it.

The smile didn’t leave his lips as he walked into his bathroom to take a shower.

===&=&===

It was ridiculous.

Jungkook went out and bought himself a few clothes so he didn’t end up wearing Taehyung’s
clothes for their first date.

Taehyung kept telling himself to stop fretting because date or not, it was just his town’s carnival
and it was not a big deal. But when he found himself changing out of his sixth costume, he had to
start panicking.

“I am losing my mind,” he panted, sitting on the floor and staring at the heap of clothes on his bed,
“Jimin, I am losing my mind.”

“I thought you lost it ages ago,” Jimin hummed through the line, “what did you do now?”

“Jungkook asked me out on a date,” Taehyung blushed when Jimin made kissing noises, “what are
you? Five?”

“As if you are not blushing tomato red right now,” Jimin giggled, “okay, what’s the problem?”

“I have nothing to wear,” Taehyung whined, “it’s a stupid carnival, I can’t overdress. Everyone will
stare. But I don’t want to underdress either.”

“Video-call me,” Jimin ordered, “I have my date in a few days so you better return the favour
then.”

It was Taehyung’s turn to make kissing noises.

“For your kind information, we did kiss last night,” Jimin said, sounding flustered, “he left for
work today morning after kissing me silly against the door.”

“Ew,” Taehyung made a face, “too much information. I will video call you, wait.”

Jimin picked up on the second ring and instantly cursed at Taehyung for the mess in his bedroom.

“Where is Jungkook?” Jimin asked, “Isn’t he with you?”

“I kicked him out,” Taehyung shrugged, “he said he will be downstairs and I needed some time
alone. Now choose something for me.”

He placed his phone on the bookshelf while showing off clothes he could wear. Jimin cancelled
almost all of them and lastly chose a black jeans with a bluish baggy sweater.
“You would look cuddly,” Jimin grinned through the screen, “small and cuddly for him.”

Taehyung changed while Jimin stayed on the phone, talking to him.

“Wear some accessories,” Jimin pointed at Taehyung’s dresser, “earring and all. You are ready to
go.”

“I will call you later,” Taehyung picked up his phone to cut the call.

“Don’t put out on the first date,” Jimin reminded him before laughing.

“Yeah, remember that for your first date,” Taehyung cut the call with blush high on his cheeks. It
was just a date.

Taehyung tried to tell himself that he wasn’t ready yet to accept Jungkook but deep down in his
heart, he knew he wanted this.

===&=&===

It was exactly seven when Jungkook knocked against Taehyung’s bedroom door. His parents had
left for a neighbour’s house party. They were alone in the house until they came back later that
night.

Jungkook sucked in a breath when Taehyung opened the door.

He was wearing a baby blue sweater that hid him to his knees and the jeans underneath was tight
enough to highlight his long and shaped legs. Jungkook’s eyes took in how fluffy Taehyung’s hair
looked, hiding those beautiful eyes partly. His lips were tinted orange, the hue given by his gloss.
Jungkook wanted to taste those plump lips with his, take those ring-clad hands in his.

So he did. He reached out to take Taehyung’s hands in his and pulled him closer, smelling the
perfume on the elder with a long inhale.

He smiled at Taehyung, “you look beautiful, Tae.”

Taehyung had the decency to blush as if he doubted Jungkook’s words. As if he had doubts about
him looking beautiful.

As if in any way Taehyung could look ugly.

Jungkook made a mental note to tell Taehyung he was beautiful as many time as he could every
day. Because why not? Taehyung was the most beautiful person he knew.

“Let’s go?” Taehyung asked, “it’s seven already.”

Jungkook let Taehyung close the door behind him and walk around him. He followed Taehyung
down the stairs like a mesmerized idiot.

As Taehyung closed the main door, locking it, Jungkook interlocked their fingers. He smiled at
Taehyung’s wide eyes and squeezed his palm in excitement.

“Lead the way,” Jungkook said, “I don’t know anything here.”

Taehyung looked down at their joined hands, “we can’t go like this. It’s a small town, Jungkook,
everyone knows me.”

Jungkook let go of Taehyung’s hands reluctantly, nodding, “right. Sorry.”

Taehyung nodded, “it’s…” he looked around, looking down at their feet, “it’s okay.”

Jungkook smiled, pressing closer to Taehyung. His breath hitched in his chest when Taehyung’s
pinkie entangled with his between them, hidden against their bodies. Jungkook pressed closer to
Taehyung, walking down the countryside.

They both walked silently, hidden under the streetlights and trees by the side of the roads.

Their smiles were bright though. Both trying to hide it from one another.

===&=&===

Jungkook first saw the Ferris wheel. Even before they saw the boundary of the carnival. The lights
decorating the tents and the whole field gave the carnival a dreamy aesthetic.

Kids were playing around, some parents shouting at them to not get far away. There were couples,
walking around while holding hands, eating snacks from the stalls around the carnival. There were
rides in the carnival. A few but there were. Jungkook’s attention was grabbed by the shooting area
where people were shooting balloons to gain prizes.

Taehyung tugged at his shirt, pointing at a stall that was selling cotton candy. It had a variety of
cotton candies. Blue, pink, yellow, red, white… Jungkook looked back at Taehyung to see him
looking at the stall with literal stars in his eyes.

“I haven’t eaten cotton candy in years, Gukkie,” Taehyung pointed at the shop, “let’s have some.
Please?”

Jungkook’s heart soared at the nickname and the way Taehyung’s grip tightened around his elbow.
Jungkook didn’t have the heart to remind Taehyung of their diets as they walked into the stall.

Taehyung bought pink cotton candy, eating a chunk of it with a grin on his face. Jungkook paid for
it, ignoring Taehyung’s protests.

“Have some,” Taehyung held out the stick for Jungkook.

Jungkook took a bite of the sweetness and hummed, licking his lips, “it’s tasty.”

He watched Taehyung tug at the threads with his teeth, sucking the sweetness in his mouth.
Jungkook wished he could kiss Taehyung right about there, tasting the sweetness on his lips. He
couldn’t. So he just held Taehyung’s elbow and started walking towards the deeper part of the
carnival.

On their way, they met a few known faces. Taehyung stood to talk and smile at some of his
neighbours. They knew Jungkook too, introducing themselves. They were kind enough to not
invade their privacy for long though. Jungkook was grateful for it.

They walked around the carnival, talking lowly between the two of them and smiling at the kids
who were just walking around the stalls with their parents on toe.

Jungkook pointed at the Ferris wheel, “wanna ride?”

Taehyung looked at it and back at Jungkook, “you know I am scared of height.”

“Don’t look down,” Jungkook said like it was a routine by now, noticing that familiar glint in
Taehyung’s eyes, “just look at me.”

Taehyung blushed, looking away with a shrug, “there’s a line for tickets.”

“Let’s go,” Jungkook pulled Taehyung towards the Ferris wheel.

They stood in the line, waiting for their turns. Jungkook bought the tickets, ignoring Taehyung’s
protests and pulling him towards the ride.

“Are you going to pay for everything tonight?” Taehyung whined, “Stop treating me like a lady or
shit.”

“You can pay me back in other ways,” Jungkook smirked when Taehyung’s eyes widened, “just
think what I might like.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes, “as if.”

Taehyung let Jungkook lead him to his seat in the cabin allotted to them. Jungkook made sure they
were secure with the safety gears before he held Taehyung’s hand in his.

The cabins were small. Made for only four people. Jungkook paid for their cabin to be only for
them. It was secure with iron grills and a door to lock it. Taehyung still squirmed closer to
Jungkook. Jungkook gripped Taehyung’s hand in his when the wheel started moving.

Taehyung was holding onto the grill with his eyes straight ahead, lips puffed out to breathe through
his mouth. His hands were sweating.

Jungkook turned Taehyung’s face towards his, smiling slowly at Taehyung’s wide eyes, “just look
at me and think of nothing.”

Taehyung nodded, “I am fine.”

Jungkook watched how the lights played across Taehyung’s face, his eyes shining because of the
lanterns hanging around the carnival. Jungkook pulled out his phone, taking a few photos of
Taehyung who tried to smile.

Then Jungkook held his hand out, taking their photos together. Taehyung sucked in a breath when
Jungkook kissed his cheek, down to the corner of his lips and then the cabin came to a halt.

Taehyung looked down to see they were at the top and the wheel had stopped rotating.

“What happened?” Taehyung gripped Jungkook’s hands, “why did it stop moving? Oh, my God! Is
it not working?! Are we stuck here?! How will we get dow…”

Jungkook pulled at his chin until their eyes met and then with a short laugh Jungkook was kissing
him.

Taehyung flinched, pulling back a little, eyes wide, “Jungkook…”

“Kiss me,” Jungkook begged almost, “look around, Tae, we are at the top of the world. Kiss me.”

Taehyung looked around, seeing how Daegu looked from the top of the Ferris wheel. The houses
so small and the people in the carnival roaming around like ants. It did feel like they were on top of
the world.

Taehyung’s throat contradicted. It felt like someone was rewriting his stars and aligning
Jungkook’s with his right about then.

The fear in him subdued to give way for that tingling feeling in his chest. This time when Jungkook
pulled him, Taehyung moved his hand.

He cupped Jungkook’s face, “the top of the world is a scary place, Gukkie. Don’t ever leave me
alone here.”

Jungkook’s eyes were on him, so gentle and pure, “I will always be here with you,” Jungkook
murmured, leaning forward, “I promise.”

Taehyung let Jungkook’s words echo around his mind as they kissed. Hands tangled in each other’s
hair and mouth parting to welcome the other.

They kissed until the cabin moved and when they parted, it was coming down towards the ground.

“This is how you make me feel, Tae,” Jungkook murmured, “grounded. Safe. Closer to the earth.”

“Isn’t love supposed to make you feel like you are on top of the world?” Taehyung asked, his hand
locked in Jungkook’s.

Jungkook shook his head, “to me it’s this feeling of assurance. Loving you is like finding ground
under my feet. It makes me feel strong and secure.”

Taehyung chuckled, watching the cabin move upwards again, “loving you always felt like a Ferris
wheel for me. Where I was not able to walk out and I kept going round and round. Without
someone to hold onto. Alone in this cabin where no one understood me.”

“Now you have me,” Jungkook pressed in closer, “now this ride will be enjoyable. We don’t need
to get out. As long as we are together, every ride will be enjoyable. Look.”

Taehyung looked at where Jungkook pointed, noticing the moon in the sky. It felt like it was just
outside of their window and Taehyung could touch it. Taehyung smiled, feeling the cool breeze
against his skin and the feeling of motion in his guts. But this time, as he gripped onto Jungkook’s
hand, the ride felt bearable. This time Taehyung let out a small smile, looking down at the carnival
and leaning against Jungkook, knowing if something happened, Jungkook would be there for him.

“I love you, Tae,” Jungkook murmured against Taehyung’s ear.

Taehyung let those words lull him, he tilted his head, sighing in the kiss Jungkook offered him.

===&=&===

“You are bad at this,” Jungkook was laughing at him while Taehyung tried to manage a shot at the
balloons to win that teddy bear he really liked. He had aimed for six balloons and he got only two.
But in his defence, Jungkook kept talking and distracting him.

When the round was over, Taehyung turned to glare at Jungkook who was smirking at him.

“I really wanted that teddy bear, you know?” Taehyung pouted, pointing at the bear on the shelf,
“now I can’t have it. Because of you.”
Jungkook reached out to take the gun from Taehyung, he looked at the man behind the counter and
asked for him to fill the gun up.

“Let’s see how many I get,” Jungkook smiled at Taehyung and then took his position.

Taehyung hated how accurate the maknae was at everything. The five busted balloons glared back
at him and the teddy was smiling in Jungkook’s hold.

Taehyung made a face when Jungkook held it out for him but he grabbed at it too, not ready to
give in. Jungkook smiled at him before turning towards the shopkeeper to thank him and pay for
their rounds.

Taehyung held the soft-toy closer to his chest as they walked. Jungkook beside him and Taehyung
holding onto the bear.

“What are we naming him?” Jungkook asked, looking down at the teddy.

Taehyung looked down too, humming, “I don’t know. Suggest a name.”

“Kookie?” Jungkook grinned, “So that it reminds you of me.”

Taehyung looked down at the bear, sighing, “kookie…”

Jungkook pointed at an ice-cream stall, “Want to eat some ice cream?”

Taehyung would never say no to ice cream.

===&=&===

Yoongi could feel Jimin’s eyes on him. He smiled down at the piano before glancing up. Jimin
was staring at him, chin resting on his palm and a smile on his face. Yoongi raised his brow,
leaning back against his chair. Jimin got up from the sofa where he was relaxing. Yoongi watched,
with a smile curving up the corners of his lips, as Jimin came to straddle his legs. Yoongi’s chair
making a noise of protest at the added weight before settling the both of them. Yoongi’s left arm
went around Jimin’s waist to hold him while his right hand stayed on the armrest. He looked up at
Jimin while Jimin’s eyes were set on his.

Genius studio was soundproofed and securely locked so they had nothing to disturb them when
Jimin leaned down to kiss him.

Yoongi breathed into the kiss, humming when Jimin deepened the kiss, his arms going around
Yoongi’s neck.

“I have always wanted to do this,” Jimin murmured against Yoongi’s lips, smiling shyly down at
him, “for so many years.”

“Kiss me?” Yoongi asked, feeling the flutter in his chest at the admission.

Jimin nodded, exhaling against Yoongi’s cheek, “whenever I was here. Or allowed to sit and watch
you compose, I wanted to do this. I have always wanted to be someone special to you. Among all
the boys, I wanted you to look at me a little differently.”

“I always did,” Yoongi spoke softly, hand reaching out to swipe Jimin’s bangs out of his eyes, “I
have always saw you differently.”
“I didn’t know that,” Jimin pouted subconsciously, “I would feel like I was nothing but your
maknae who you teased as an older brother. Who meant just as much as Taehyung and Jungkook
did. God, there were times when I thought you saw Taehyung as something more.”

“Taehyung?” Yoongi raised his brow, “really?”

“You kidding?” Jimin settled himself on Yoongi’s lap, playing with Yoongi’s shirt, “you and him
both are from Daegu. You always had a soft corner for him. You and he were joined to the hips
almost all the time. I hated myself for being jealous of him but I was. Not gonna lie, you made me
jealous of my soulmate.”

To Yoongi this was brand new information. He held Jimin’s waist and pulled him as much closer
as he could, frowning up at him.

“Why were you jealous of Tae? I mean, I never really did anything…”

“You preferred him over me all the time,” Jimin interrupted, “you always preferred him and Hobi
hyung over me,” there was a pout on his lips when he talked and Yoongi listened, “it felt like you
were endeared by him and took him under your wings since day one whereas you never really…”

“I fucking loved you since day one probably!” Yoongi chided, “What do you mean I never sided
with you? Yes, I tried to keep my distance but you gotta admit that falling for a bandmate and
someone younger and a man was really ticking all the red boxes. I kept my distance because
otherwise, I was scared I would do something foolish.”

“I did everything foolish to get your attention,” Jimin murmured, giving Yoongi a melancholic
smile, “I made a fool out of myself in front of you for you to notice me.”

“I never stopped noticing you,” Yoongi cupped Jimin’s face, pulling him down so their lips pressed
together, “I never noticed anyone else. No one stood a chance. It,” a peck on Jimin’s lips, “was,”
another on the tip of his nose, “always,” his forehead, “you,” their foreheads touched.

Jimin sniffled, “for me, it was always you too. I wanted you since we were trainee. Since I knew
what love feels like, I felt it for you.”

Yoongi wiped at Jimin’s eyes, “we lost so many years in fear of losing each other. I wish we were
more honest with each other.”

“Never again,” Jimin held Yoongi’s hands in his, “from now on we say what is in our mind and we
don’t hide our feelings. Tell me whatever you are feeling and-”

“I want to have dinner with you,” Yoongi interrupted, looking straight at Jimin’s eyes.

Jimin looked at him and sideways where the takeouts were placed on the table, “we got the food
here already, hyung.”

“Let me take you to the place that witnessed all my confessions for you,” Yoongi made Jimin
stand up, kissing him on the lips fast before grabbing the takeouts, “let’s go. That place deserves to
know I got you.”

“Where are you taking me?” Jimin grinned, following Yoongi while stumbling on his feet because
Yoongi was almost running.

“We are going to eat dinner there,” Yoongi grinned back at him, pulling him into the elevator.
 ===&=&===

“This is the stupidest thing I have ever done,” Taehyung swore.

“And I know all the stupidest thing you did so the level is high,” Jungkook nodded, getting his
henna tattoo done.

A bunny stared back at Taehyung from his wrist and there was a tiger in progress on Jungkook’s
arm. A full-fledged tiger.

Taehyung shook his head, watching the tattoo, “how long does it take to disappear?”

“Two weeks or so?” The artist said, shrugging, “it depends on how you take care of it.”

Taehyung watched when Jungkook was done, holding out his hand for Taehyung to inspect the
tiger.

“It is too large,” Taehyung muttered, “it’s almost taking over your bicep!”

“I know,” Jungkook nodded with a grin, “it’s so pretty.”

Taehyung paid for it, both getting out of the stall with their hands still drying. Taehyung watched
how Jungkook’s eyes widened before a smile tugged at his lips. Taehyung furrowed his brows in
question until he realized he was holding Jungkook’s sleeve while walking.

“Don’t let go,” Jungkook gripped his hand, “please.”

Taehyung looked away, his hand clasping that material in its grip.

“Are you hungry?” Jungkook pointed at a stall that was selling different kinds of fast foods.

Taehyung shrugged, “let’s eat something. Carnivals are supposed to be all about trying out
different dishes, my dad says.”

“He is absolutely right,” Jungkook nodded, walking in that direction.

.
.

They found a bench by the road and Taehyung sat down with two bowls in his hands. He turned to
sit cross-legged on the bench with Jungkook sitting in front of him. They placed four bowls
between them.

One had steamed dumplings, two had soups and the last one had noodles.

Taehyung started with the noodles, sprinkling some soup onto it and then slurping at it. Jungkook
picked up a dumpling.

“We are leaving tomorrow,” Jungkook said, mouth full of dumpling, “Hobi hyung messaged in the
group chat about the new album release.”

“Right,” Taehyung nodded, holding his chopsticks out for Jungkook to eat some noodles, “you
sent in all your songs?”
“I heard your song was selected?” Jungkook asked, arching a brow, “blue and grey?”

Taehyung hummed, sighing, “I didn’t think it will be selected. I am kind of scared now.”

“Why?” Jungkook held out a dumpling for Taehyung to eat, “what is it about?”

Taehyung wiped his lips after biting onto the dumpling, shrugging, “it’s about, well, it’s not a
happy song. I am scared how close to my heart it is and how open and vulnerable I will feel when
you all listen to the song.”

Jungkook paused, “is it about…”

Taehyung sighed, “It’s about all those times when I lost hope, Jungkook, so yes, it’s about you and
us too.”

Jungkook stared at him, “I am sorry.”

“For what?” Taehyung chuckled, “for not loving me? It’s okay.”

“For not realizing sooner that I love you,” Jungkook corrected Taehyung, reaching out to entangle
their fingers together, “for letting you feel hopeless.”

Taehyung gulped the clog down, nodding and looking down so that Jungkook didn’t see the
moisture in his eyes. He looked over to see the café he frequented in the distance. A small smile
tugged at his lips, recalling how he went there last time he visited the place.

He looked down at where Jungkook’s hand was entangled with his, feeling how warm Jungkook’s
touch was against his palm.

Taehyung let out a breath, looking down at their meal. He could feel his chest fluttering when
Jungkook held out another dumpling for him.

He ate it, meeting Jungkook’s eyes and feeling the goosebumps against his skin when he saw that
look in Jungkook’s eyes.

Taehyung didn’t know if he could believe Jungkook’s words yet or not but he could believe those
eyes. They held stars in them. The whole galaxy.

Like young Jungkook used to.

Like the one Taehyung fell in love with.

===&=&===

“We would talk about you and Jungkook here,” Yoongi pointed at the carving on the wall of the
water tank, “I was childish enough one day to do that. Maybe I was drunk or I was just desperate.”

Jimin looked at the wall, cement giving way for the carving. He reached out, touching the surface
and feeling the fluttering in his stomach.

It just said, ‘SJ,’ and Jimin had never wanted something tattooed on himself more. He plastered
himself against the wall, dragging Yoongi to do the same. Yoongi did, confused, leaning his back
against the tank.
A laugh bubbled out of him when Jimin held out his phone to take a photo of them. Them holding
hands and the sign between them. Their grins were wide on their faces.

“That looks like we are drunk,” Yoongi muttered, looking at the photo over Jimin’s shoulder.

“Drunk in love,” Jimin sang, following Yoongi in climbing on the tank.

Yoongi made a noise, “say shit like that again and watch me throw you off the terrace.”

Jimin giggled, climbing the ladder until they were on the tank. Jimin grabbed Yoongi’s hand and
steadied himself. When he sat down and looked around, Yoongi’s eyes stayed fixed on him.

“So, remember the guy I used to tell you about,” Yoongi suddenly spoke, caressing the cemented
ground of the tank, “yeah, turns out he loved me too and he is here with me right now.”

Jimin felt those words in his chest, pain shooting through his ribcage to twist his heart when he
watched the smile grow on Yoongi’s lips.

Yoongi took his hand in a grip, looking down at the floor, “he loves me too. Can you imagine?”

“He loves you more than anything,” Jimin mumbled, sniffling, “why are you like this?”

Yoongi leaned forward to kiss Jimin’s forehead, both of them facing each other and sitting cross-
legged, “like this? Stupidly in love with you?”

Jimin looked down between them, smiling with blush high on his cheeks, “shut up.”

He looked around, “it’s beautiful here. How come I never came here?”

“It’s mine and Taehyung’s place to bitch about you two Busan boys,” Yoongi made a face, “our
hiding spot.”

Jimin swatted at him, “see! You prefer Taehyung over me!”

“In bitching? Yes,” Yoongi nodded, “we bitch the best together.”

Jimin giggled, “hyung! You bitched about me?”

“Of course,” Yoongi opened the containers, the moonlight helping him see everything clearly, “and
he would bitch about Jungkook.”

Jimin sighed, “I need to talk to him, you know? About Jungkook thinking he likes me. About him
liking Jungkook. I hurt him so much.”

“You didn’t know,” Yoongi held out a container of fried rice for Jimin, “you had no idea.”

“Still,” Jimin took the offering and dug in, “I think I need to clear things out with Tae.”

Yoongi hummed, digging in himself. He placed a chicken in his mouth before looking at Jimin
with a smile.

Jimin looked back, chewing on the rice with an arched brow, “What are you looking at?”

Yoongi shook his head, “just… you are here. With me. I am still reeling.”

Jimin blushed, looking down at the container as he ate. He looked around, feeling the breeze
against his skin with a sigh.

“This is beautiful, how come I never came here?” Jimin placed the container down, “I love quiet
places.”

Yoongi hugged his knees, placing his chin on them, “you can come here now. Whenever you don’t
find me, come here. I am probably here. Laying and watching the stars.”

“Can we do that tonight?” Jimin asked, wiping his mouth, “watch the stars?”

Yoongi nodded, “if you want, we can do whatever you say, Jiminie.”

Jimin gave him a smile, reaching the corner of his eyes. Yoongi could feel his heart skipping beats,
thumping loudly against his chest. He smiled back, reaching out to pull Jimin on his lap, knocking
over a few empty containers.

“Is it going to be cheesy if I wonder how I got so lucky?” Yoongi asked, watching Jimin with
wonder in his eyes, “so lucky to have what I wished for? Here? Almost every night?”

Jimin wrapped his arms around Yoongi, “I love you, hyung.”

Yoongi let those words lull him as he laid down, arm outstretched for Jimin to rest his head on.
Jimin curled in on him, hugging him tightly.

Yoongi looked at the stars, smiling, “I guess, wishes do come true.”

“They do,” Jimin cupped Yoongi’s face, pulling him down for a kiss, “if your love is strong
enough, wishes do come true. At least, mine,” his lips ghosted against Yoongi’s parted ones, “did.”

Yoongi rolled over, kissing Jimin senseless as the moonlight shone over them.

The containers were tucked aside as they discarded their clothes. Sex on the rooftop wasn’t
something Yoongi wished for but he wasn’t complaining.

===&=&===

Taehyung was pressed against their backdoor, Jungkook kissing him silly. His hands clutched at
Jungkook’s shirt, not sure if he wanted to push Jungkook away or pull him closer.

“My neighbours can see us, Jungkook,” Taehyung pulled himself back, head turning away to
breathe erratically.

Jungkook nosed Taehyung’s throat, lips pressing against the column of his throat, “Fuck, I don’t
care.”

Taehyung pushed him away, turning to open the door, “but I do and so you have to.”

Jungkook crowded him as they climbed the stairs, stopping midway to pull Taehyung in fevered
kisses. Taehyung walked backwards, hitting against surfaces and almost knocking over things he
was sure could break.

“We are not doing anything,” Taehyung warned when Jungkook started unbuttoning his shirt, “not
until I say we can.”
“Okay, just kissing, okay,” Jungkook nodded eagerly, hands coming up to cup Taehyung’s face,
“fuck, I can do that. Whatever you say.”

Taehyung smiled in the kiss, turning away and chuckling when Jungkook cursed, arms locking
around Taehyung’s waist.

He opened the door of his bedroom and pulled Jungkook in. The door was locked by Jungkook
before he turned to face Taehyung.

Taehyung’s heart soared and skipped beats altogether. Those eyes spoke words he was scared of
acknowledging. So he turned away, undressing. He knew he was being a tease when he dropped
the sweater on the floor. He turned to unbutton the shirt slowly, watching how Jungkook’s eyes
followed his fingers. Taehyung dropped the shirt on the floor too, unbuttoning his jeans.

“I will take a shower,” he announced when he was in nothing but his boxers, “don’t you dare walk
in.”

Jungkook reached out instinctively when Taehyung passed him, grabbing at his wrist and pressing
him against the bathroom’s wall. Taehyung let Jungkook kiss him, hands moving all over
Taehyung’s body. Jungkook squeezed the sides of Taehyung’s hips and Taehyung wrapped a leg
around Jungkook’s waist, mouthing at his neck. Jungkook’s head was thrown back as Taehyung
kissed down his throat, hands unbuttoning the shirt.

“I will sell my soul to fuck you against this door,” Jungkook cursed, “or in the shower. Whichever
you choose.”

Taehyung chuckled, pulling back to feel Jungkook’s bare chest pressing against his heated skin. He
whined when Jungkook squeezed his butt, rutting against him. Taehyung could feel how hard
Jungkook was against him. He bit down on his lower lip, noticing with triumph now Jungkook’s
irises flared.

“I kind of want to suck you off,” Taehyung murmured, the nail of his index finger mapping out
Jungkook’s chest, from his cleavage to his naval, hooking in his jean’s waistband, “want you to
fuck my mouth.”

Jungkook’s jaw clenched, he pressed in closer.

Taehyung let his finger stay hooked in Jungkook’s jeans, eyes on Jungkook’s fierce ones, “want
you to fuck me against the bathroom tiles, shower running on us.”

“Fuck, you would love that,” Jungkook cursed, glaring at Taehyung with heat in his voice, “you
would bend over like the bitch you are.”

“Oh, I will be in your arms,” Taehyung smirked, “legs crossed around your waist…” Jungkook
pressed in closer, his hands tightening around Taehyung’s waist, “your cock in me, filling me up so
good…” Jungkook reached for Taehyung’s boxer, “you can cum in me.”

Jungkook cursed, lurching forward to kiss him and Taehyung let him. His hand moving behind him
to open the bathroom door.

With a muffled curse Jungkook stumbled when Taehyung got into the bathroom.

“What the fuck!” he cursed when Taehyung closed the door on his face.

Taehyung giggled, discarding the boxer to stand under the shower.

“Are you seriously cockblocking me after all that shit-talk?!” Jungkook banged against the door.

“Shh,” Taehyung yelled over the shower, “my parents will be home any minute. Don’t say stuff
like that.”

“Fuck you,” Jungkook panted against the door, resting his forehead against the cold wooden
surface, “you will be such a dick of a boyfriend.”

Taehyung let the droplets wash over him. A smile on his lips yet to go.

He hummed, “I never said it will be easy. You can still back out, you know?”

Everything was quiet and Taehyung reached for the shower gel, lathering himself with it.

“I will take whatever you give me,” Jungkook said through the door, “even blue-balls.”

Taehyung blinked at the door before bursting into laughter. He heard Jungkook laughing too.
Taehyung turned his face towards the shower.

===&=&===

They had left for Seoul the next day. Taehyung’s mum had packed their lunch in boxes and no
matter how many times Taehyung and Jungkook protested, she didn’t listen until the boxes were
neatly kept in their car.

Taehyung’s father had hugged them both, wishing them all the best for their upcoming album and
his mother had pulled them in a hug too, together, kissing their heads one by one.

“Take care of him,” she had said when they had pulled back, eyes fixed on Jungkook.

It had felt like permission and approval at the same time. Taehyung had felt the clog in his throat,
blinking back the burn in his eyes.

Jungkook was speechless for a few seconds, scaring Taehyung until there was a small but genuine
smile on his lips.

“I will,” he had said, holding her hands in his, “I promise.”

Taehyung had pulled Jungkook out of the house, dragging him towards the car before something
more was transferred between his parents and Jungkook.

“Your roses will bloom soon,” his father had pointed at the garden when they were in their car, “I
will send you a picture.”

Taehyung had looked at that one plant, pointing at it, “send me one when that one blooms.”

His father had nodded, waving them goodbye.

As Jungkook drove Taehyung’s car, Taehyung had waved at his parents until they turned the
corner.

“Your mum loves me,” Jungkook had said, uncharacteristically proud of himself.

Taehyung had rested his head against the window, “shut up.”
 ===&=&===

Iseul was beautiful.

Jin had no other word to describe the woman. She was the prettiest woman Jin had seen and
smartest too if her degrees were anything to go by.

There was no comparison. He wasn’t doing a comparison either.

But thoughts kept clouding his head and he couldn’t let them go. No matter how many times he
tried to.

It was their album release day and the boys were nervous. They got every emotional help they
could get. Their parents were calling since morning. Friends sent them best wishes. There were
flowers everywhere from their endorsement companies.

Yoongi and Jimin were joined to the hip since they woke up. Taehyung and Jungkook were sitting
closely together, talking between themselves since morning. Hoseok was with Jin, telling him his
fears of this album not reaching its expectations.

Jin was fearing the expectations of their fans. Just as Hoseok. What if the album didn’t break
records? What if there were not any records left to break at this point? What if they were not able
to top the last album? What if the songs weren’t good enough?

Jin would always turn to Namjoon when he was in doubt. He would always seek Namjoon out
when his heart and mind both were in chaos. But this time he couldn’t.

Iseul was there since last night. She came to cheer Namjoon up and stayed for the night. Jin had
felt eyes on him, five pair of eyes set on him to lose it but he didn’t. There was nothing to lose. He
never had Namjoon to lose him now.

Jin had welcomed her with smiles, questions about her health and watched her retire in Namjoon’s
room that night with a nonchalant façade that had lasted until he was in his bed, holding onto RJ
for dear life.

.
.

“The manager called,” Namjoon said, gaining everyone’s attention, “We are safe to go on the
internet. The album is doing great.”

Jin found himself lost in that dimpled smile Namjoon gave the members, those gentle eyes shining
with happiness. He saw the kiss Iseul gave Namjoon, arms around his neck and his hands around
her waist.

There was a crack in Jin’s chest that caught his breath. His ribcage suddenly locking in on his
heart. Then Jin was pushing against that pain, practised smile easily adorning his lips as he turned
to pull Hoseok in a hug.

Hoseok came easily, knowing how it felt to fake a smile. His arms wrapped around Jin as tightly as
they could and in them, Jin found his solace. He hid his face against Hoseok’s neck, murmuring for
him to hold on. Just for a second. Just for a little bit more so that Jin could wipe at his eyes.
When he pulled back, Hoseok’s eyes were understanding. Jin looked over to see Namjoon looking
at him.

Jin looked at him, thumbs up with a grin on his face. Namjoon’s chuckle came with a disappointed
shake of his head, shoulders dropping with it. Jin watched how Namjoon clenched his hand,
coughing in his fist.

“I have something to tell you all,” his voice boomed in the room, the leader in him demanding
everyone’s attention.

Jin watched as Namjoon took Iseul’s hand in his, pulling it up to his lips.

Jin saw that smile Namjoon gave her before looking back at the members.

“We are getting married this June,” Namjoon announced, smiling, “I wanted to tell you all first.”

Jin was thankful for Hoseok’s presence against his back when he stumbled, leaning fully against
him. Hoseok gripped him upright. A grounding force when Jin felt his world tilting upside down.

When every member’s eyes jumped from Namjoon to him, Jin gave a wide smile.

“Congratulations,” Jin’s hands were clasped together in front of him, tight enough to go white-
knuckled, tight enough to ground him, “that’s such a great news, guys.”

Namjoon nodded, eyes never leaving Jin’s face, “yeah. It’s the greatest news of my life.”

Everyone stood up to congratulate the couple and Jin turned away.

He didn’t know what expression his face held but Hoseok’s pitying eyes told him it wasn’t a
joyous one.

===&=&===

Newfound feelings brought a lot of new habits. A lot of new expectations and a lot of new gestures
one wasn’t used to.

Taehyung found himself on the receiving end of a lot of those gestures from Jungkook nowadays.

Their tour was starting in two days and all of them were busy practising. There was no time for
anything else but rehearsal and voice training.

Even then, in those eerie hours of the night, Taehyung would find himself having dinner with
Jungkook.

Every night.

Somehow they would end up in the kitchen, bowls in their hands, sitting side by side and talking
about the whole day.

They would part ways to go to sleep. Jungkook would kiss him against his door before leaving and
Taehyung would let him. Yet not ready to ask him to stay.

Mornings would come with Jungkook bringing him breakfast in bed, either made by himself or
Yoongi who was making it for Jimin and shared it with them too.
Taehyung would place the tray on the bed, gesturing for Jungkook to sit across from it. They
would eat in hushed words, shared smiles and soft touches. They would feed each other, wiping the
corners of one’s lips and retreating when those eyes would find their own.

There was still that line Taehyung had drawn between them that Jungkook wouldn’t cross and
Taehyung was reluctant to pull Jungkook over it. Yet.

They would kiss against the door before parting ways for the day.

Throughout the interviews, there would be shared looks and touches. Taehyung would find himself
lost while Jungkook talked about the album. He would look at Jungkook and blush if Jungkook
looked back.

He would try to think that Jungkook was ready to be his. Only if he could open his arms and accept
Jungkook fully now.

Taehyung would watch Jungkook throughout the Run BTS shoots, throughout the reality shows
and think how Jungkook said his heart belonged to Taehyung now. It was now Taehyung’s choice
if he wanted it or not.

Taehyung wasn’t sure what to do with that chest-swelling realization that Jungkook was all his to
have. Only if he could stop feeling this hesitance.

He had watched Jungkook watch Jimin and Yoongi and Taehyung had found nothing but happiness
in Jungkook’s eyes. He had found no animosity or jealousy in those eyes when they had looked at
Yoongi. Instead, there was that very familiar respect, love for the elder in Jungkook’s eyes. He
hadn’t looked forlorn when Jimin and Yoongi had stuck together in their rehearsals, on their movie
nights.

He had teased Jimin like everyone else when Yoongi had kissed him one morning before leaving
for the studio. Jimin had blinked, eyes wide and at Yoongi’s retreating back, before the blush had
risen on his cheeks, a smile growing on his lips. Everyone present in their dorm had teased him
about it and told Yoongi about it that night when he had come back and Jungkook was one of
them.

Taehyung had felt the longing in Jungkook’s gaze whenever Taehyung had pulled back from their
kisses, stepping away with a hesitant smile on his face. Taehyung had noticed those half-hearted
‘good nights,’ Jungkook would say before stepping back himself and leaving for his room. His
head hung low. Taehyung had noticed Jungkook looking at him when Taehyung would be flirting
with the members on camera, during interviews. Taehyung had noticed how Jungkook’s smiles
would dim or how he would look away, hands clasped together as if to not reach out.

Taehyung was breaking too. His resolve was breaking with every passing day. It was getting
tougher day by day to send Jungkook away. Their kisses were lingering more than yesterday and a
little less than tomorrow because Taehyung wasn’t ready to let go yet. Their habits were changing
along with them.

Jungkook would hold his hands now. Whenever he could, he would grab Taehyung’s hand in his
and entangle their fingers together. He would not let go until he had to.

They were changing and Taehyung didn’t know how he felt about it.

===&=&===
“Do you two want to share a room?” Namjoon asked, readying their schedule for the tour, “Yoongi
and Jimin are sharing. Jin and Hoseok are sharing. I will either get a single room or…”

“I want a single room,” Taehyung cut in, not meeting Jungkook’s eyes as he looked at Namjoon,
“you can share with Jungkook.”

Namjoon looked at him and back at Jungkook. Taehyung kept his eyes on Namjoon, his heart
beating a little fast when everyone kept looking between him and Jungkook.

“It’s fine by me,” Jungkook nodded, “let Taehyung have a single room.”

Namjoon nodded too, awkwardly looking at everyone before scribbling down the names he would
send the managers.

“I will get back to packing,” Jin stood up, “if any one of you forget something, don’t come to me
crying. Namjoon, make sure you take your passport.”

“How long before you stop worrying about it?” Namjoon huffed out a chuckle.

“As soon as you get married, you are off my head,” Jin shrugged.

Namjoon sighed, getting up, “I am that easy to forget, huh?”

Jin didn’t answer, his lips trembling with unsaid words. Namjoon looked at him before turning
away, arm around Hoseok’s shoulder as they left for a meeting.

Yoongi turned to Jimin, cupping his chin and kissing him. Jimin’s eyes widened, his cheeks tinted
as he kissed back.

“I will see you tonight?” Yoongi murmured against his lips, smiling when Jimin stole another kiss
with a nod.

“Yes,” Jimin breathed out, smiling ear to ear, “see you tonight, hyung.”

“I love you,” Yoongi pulled back, running behind Namjoon and Hoseok.

Jimin’s eyes followed Yoongi, waving as Yoongi closed the door behind him.

When he turned back, Taehyung was grinning at him.

Jimin rolled his eyes, blush high on his cheeks. He tugged at Taehyung’s hand, pulling him
towards his room.

“We need to talk,” Jimin closed the bedroom door behind himself, making Taehyung sit on the
bed, “tell me what’s going on between you and Jungkook and why you two are giving each other
longing looks?”

Taehyung fumbled for words, eyes wide, “nothing is going on between us? What the fuck, Jimin?”

Jimin rolled his eyes, sitting on the bed to face Taehyung, “okay, let me rephrase the question, why
isn’t anything going on between you and Jungkook?
Yet?”

Taehyung exhaled, shoulders dropping, “I am scared.”

“Of?” Jimin reached for Taehyung’s hands, “what are you scared of?”
Taehyung held Jimin’s hands, eyes fixed on their joined hands, “he had feelings for you, Jimin,
I…”

“You realize those feelings were nowhere near what he feels about you, right?” Jimin sighed,
rubbing his thumbs over Taehyung’s knuckles, “Tae, the way that guy looks at you… the way he
wakes up way before any of us do nowadays just to make breakfast for you. The way he stays back
after rehearsal, even when he is exhausted, to pick you up from yours. Forget everything,
Taehyung, just look at him. Look at him without anything in your head and you will see how much
he…”

“I loved him first,” Taehyung stared at Jimin now, “I broke my heart every day loving him, Jimin.
I loved him when he paid no attention to me. I loved him for years now and it makes me
vulnerable. Loving him makes me vulnerable and I want to make sure he will be able to protect my
heart when I am defenceless in his arms,” Taehyung sniffled, “because if he can’t, because if he
fails, Jimin, I probably won’t survive that pain.”

Jimin’s eyes were glossy too, he pulled Taehyung on his lap, hugging him tightly, “and you hid it
all from me. Taehyung, you could have come to me…”

“I thought you loved him too,” Taehyung wiped at his eyes, “I was scared of losing him and you
too. I went to the one who always understood…”

“And I thought he loved you,” Jimin let their forehead press together, wiping at Taehyung’s eyes,
“I thought you and him… you two were together. I wish we talked soon. Then we would not go
through so much alone like this. I wish we sat down sooner.”

“Whatever,” Taehyung wiped at his eyes, wiping Jimin’s too, “you got your love.”

“And you will if you take the leap, Tae,” Jimin grasped at Taehyung’s arms, “you will find out that
Jungkook is way more capable of taking care of your heart than you give him credit for.”

Taehyung looked at Jimin, “I guess I need a little more time.”

Jimin smiled, “take your time but know this, Tae, Jungkook loves you. Yes, it took him a little
longer to realize but he loved you since he met you and maybe that’s why he was oblivious
because he thought it was normal to feel what he felt for you. I might not be able to decipher it
fully for you but you understand, right?”

Taehyung nodded, “I just want him to be fully sure for himself too. I don’t want him to regret us…
ever.”

Jimin hummed, “now how about we spend tonight here? Together? We have a lot to talk about,
no?”

“Are you sure?” Taehyung arched his brows, “your husband just told you he will see you tonight
when he gets back. Is he going to be fine seeing me in your bed?”

Jimin whacked him with a pillow, “my husband will understand my love for you. What about
yours?”

Taehyung giggled, rolling on the bed when Jimin started tickling him, “I am not married yet.”

“Well, who’s stopping you?” Jimin hugged Taehyung, rolling him on the bed.

When the door opened to reveal Jin, Taehyung and Jimin sat up. Jin gave them a small, awkward
smile.

“Jungkook left for the studio,” Jin said, looking anywhere but at the two of them, “there’s no one
and I don’t have anywhere to…”

Jimin and Taehyung opened their arms, squirming away to make a little space between them.

“You will always have us to come to, hyung,” Jimin said, smiling gently at Jin.

Taehyung nodded, “we will always understand.”

Jin’s eyes glossed over and he came to sit on the bed, accepting the hug Jimin and Taehyung pulled
him into.

“Can I bitch about people?” Jin sniffled, “even when they are nothing but perfect?”

“We are here for that,” Taehyung pulled Jin down to lay on the bed, lying down on his left and
Jimin occupied the right.

“We will be always here for that,” Jimin nodded, hugging Jin closer.

Jin wiped at his eyes, “thank you.”

They hummed, leaning their heads against Jin’s shoulders.

===&=&===
 { You're my end and my beginning }
Chapter Notes

This is it. The last chapter. Go on, give it a read. Thank you. x

You can follow me on TWITTER so you know when I post something new.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“Did you see their airport moments? Where Jungkook was just shadowing Taehyung till their
car?”

“Yes, I saw! Omg, the way their smiles were visible even over their masks!”

“Jungkook had his arms around Taehyung as if to say ‘don’t come near him!’”

“Can Jungkook be any more obvious?! Boy can’t look at anything else! Whenever Taehyung is
in the room, his eyes just… goes and stays on him!”

“What happened to them? I mean, I am not complaining, far from it, but in this tour Taehyung
and Jungkook are joined by the hips!”

“I am a jikooker, you can’t deny it if you go through my account, but even I can see how close
these two look. Wtf! BH, give us some Jikook content!”

“Jikook got snatched by Taegi and I am here for it!”

“Did you all see Jimin and Yoongi?! They are not even hiding it anymore!”

“They learnt from the best! Taekook!”

“One of these days Jungkook is going to go up to Taehyung in the middle of a concert and kiss
him. What are we gonna do then?!”

“We will surely die if that happens but the way Jungkook looks at Taehyung? It’s possible.”

“TAEKOOK FOREVER!”

.
.
.
Taehyung scrolled through the feed, going back to ‘trending’ on the Twitter to see ‘Taekook’
trending along with a lot of different tags. It trended since the starting of their tour and they were in
the middle of their tour now. So, it probably trended almost every other day by now.

He looked over at where Jungkook was working out, doing pushups on the floor. His eyes took in
the man’s form.

Jungkook was wearing his jogger and nothing on his upper body. Taehyung could see the sheen of
sweat and how the muscles flexed as he moved. The saliva dried in Taehyung’s throat as he
watched, phone forgotten in his hands.

For a long time it was easy for him to just go over and lie down on top of Jungkook, laughing when
the younger complained and then rolled him off his back. But now… now Taehyung couldn’t just
do that. He sat on the sofa, watching the younger do his exercise.

He was supposed to warm up his voice but all he could do was stare at Jungkook and play with his
fingers that held the papers in his hands tightly.

Jungkook stood up after completing his round of pushups, coming forward to take the towel from
the sofa, beside Taehyung. For a second their eyes locked and Taehyung couldn’t help but blush.
He looked away, frowning down at the papers.

Jungkook wiped at himself, standing in front of Taehyung even after he was done.

“What?” Taehyung asked when he couldn’t take that gaze anymore.

Jungkook tilted his head, shaking it, “nothing. What are you reading?”

“The notes,” Taehyung shrugged, vaguely pointing at the papers strewn in front of him on the tea-
table, “Have to make sure I got it right.”

Jungkook chuckled, leaning forward until he was hovering over Taehyung and Taehyung was
pressed against the backrest of the sofa while looking up at him.

“What?” Taehyung whispered, eyes going from Jungkook’s mirthful eyes to his lips that curved on
a smirk.

Jungkook took the papers from his hands, dropping it on the sofa, “how much are you going to
learn by reading it upside down, Tae?”

Taehyung’s cheeks heated up with realization and he fumbled for words, looking away when
Jungkook snorted.

“Go away,” Taehyung pushed at Jungkook, standing up to walk around the table, “why are you
working out in my room anyway?”

Jungkook’s arm sneaked around his waist, pulling him against that hard chest, “maybe because I
wanted to seduce you?”

Taehyung suppressed the gasp when Jungkook turned him, making him face the younger who was
smirking at him. Taehyung let his hands rest on Jungkook’s chest, trying to maintain as much
distance as he could.

It wasn’t much. Not when Jungkook walked them backwards to press him between the wall and his
body. Taehyung leaned his head back against the wall, cursing. He opened his eyes to see
Jungkook looking at him.

“What do you want now?” Taehyung asked, fingers caressing the soft skin on hard muscles of
Jungkook’s chest.

Jungkook leaned in, “a kiss.”

Taehyung let him have that. Their kisses were a normal thing between them now. Jungkook
cornered him wherever he could and demanded a kiss. Taehyung followed suit because he wanted
those kisses too.

This time was no different. Taehyung whimpered in the kiss when Jungkook pressed in closer,
hands going underneath Taehyung’s shirt. When Taehyung couldn’t breathe anymore, he pushed at
Jungkook’s chest, panting. Jungkook didn’t pull back, instead, he trailed kisses down Taehyung’s
neck, leaving behind marks of his teeth.

“How many times do I have to tell you to not mark me like this?” Taehyung grasped at Jungkook’s
hair, tugging him backwards, “we have a concert tonight, Jungkook. People will see!”

Jungkook grasped at his wrists, locking them up, over Taehyung’s head while kissing Taehyung
square on his mouth. Taehyung kissed back just as fiercely, whining when Jungkook’s thigh
lodged between his legs, pressing down. He let out moans, trying to free his hands while Jungkook
held them captive effortlessly.

“Fuck,” Jungkook cursed, hands letting go of Taehyung’s wrists and grabbing at his hips, “how
long will you make me wait? I am going nuts here.”

Taehyung panted when Jungkook pulled back, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand. He
leaned against the wall, still trying to regulate his breathing. He pushed Jungkook away and
Jungkook did, pulling back.

Jungkook went to the sofa where he had discarded his T-shirt. Taehyung watched him slip into it
before facing Taehyung.

“Ready for the concert tonight?” Jungkook asked, picking up the phone from the floor and
pocketing it.

Taehyung nodded, looking over Jungkook’s shoulder, “I am.”

Jungkook hesitated, looking at the door and at Taehyung. He seemed to think of something,
battling with the thought before his shoulders slumped and he looked at Taehyung with a sigh.

“Want to grab lunch together?”

Taehyung leaned against the wall, a soft smile on his face, “are you asking me out, Jungkook?”

Jungkook rolled his eyes, cheeks heating up, “what if I am?”

Taehyung nodded, “then I will go with you.”

Jungkook stepped back, eyes still on Taehyung, “see you in an hour then?”

Taehyung smiled, biting his lips with a nod.

===&=&===

Jimin laid on the stage, looking up at the sky while everyone rehearsed around him. His eyes were
fixed on the stars he could see. Eyes squinting and lips moving with the lyrics Jin was singing.

A smile crept up on his lips when Yoongi loomed over him, looking down at him with a quirk of
his brows. Jimin held out his hands, silently urging Yoongi to come near.
A smile broke through Yoongi’s lips, he knelt near Jimin’s head. Jimin sighed, closing his eyes
when Yoongi kissed him on the mouth, upside down. He giggled in the kiss, looking at Yoongi
when he pulled back. Yoongi was smiling too, pulling Jimin’s head to rest on his lap.

“Can you two go and be cheesy somewhere else?” Jungkook hollered, at the front of the stage.

Yoongi craned his neck and gave the younger his finger, “says the guy who has Taehyung on his
lap.”

Jimin giggled when Jungkook fumbled for words before shrugging and tucking his head back on
Taehyung’s shoulder who was leaning against his chest while playing with his hands that was
resting against his stomach.

“I am so done with the four of you,” Hoseok came to lay in the middle of them, sighing, “no one
cares about the other three of us.”

Jimin pulled at Hoseok’s wrist until he was resting his head on Jimin’s chest, “there, there, hyung.
No need to feel sad.”

The laughter grew when Jin went to lay down on top of Taehyung’s lap, complaining about him
stealing Jungkook away. Taehyung blushed, swatting at a snorting Jungkook. They all made a
huddle, much to Yoongi’s chagrin who was dragged down to lay on the stage between Jin and
Jimin.

“What are you all doing?” Namjoon hovered over them with a frown, “we need to rehearse another
song. Right, Hobi?”

Hoseok shrugged, holding out his hand, “just lie down a bit, will you? We will finish rehearsing
soon.”

Namjoon hesitated, his eyes skimming over every member before they settled on Jin who was
looking up at him. Jin was squeezed between Taehyung and Hoseok. Taehyung had his head on
Jin’s shoulder while Jungkook spooned him from behind.

Namjoon laid beside Jimin, grunting when Jimin pulled him closer.

“The sky is so beautiful, isn’t it?” Taehyung said, looking up at the stars twinkling in the night sky.

Jungkook nuzzled closer, “you are prettier.”

“Oh, God, these two are insufferable!” Hoseok gagged, rolling away. Taehyung blushed, swatting
at Jungkook who just grinned back at him.

“He didn’t lie though,” Yoongi said, “the stars are just huge celestial bodies made mostly of
hydrogen and helium. They are dead already.”

“Way to kill romance, I see,” Jin whined, “yah, Yoongi-ah, lay down, will you? You single
handedly killed my fantasy of stars.”

“You had fantasy with stars?” Jimin asked, “what kind of fantasy?”

Jin shrugged, turning red as everyone looked at him, “you know? I always share my secrets with
the stars as if they are listening.”

“People do it with the moon, hyung,” Hoseok said, looking at the moon, “you do it with the stars?”
“I am the moon so,” Jin shrugged, giggling when everyone poked him.

“Are they your friends then?” Taehyung asked Jin, “The stars?”

“The stars are you all,” Jin grinned, “shining bright beside me. Giving me company.”

“Which one am I?” Yoongi wondered, looking at the stars as if they had the answer.

“Jin, tell us which one we are,” Hoseok nudged Jin.

Jin laughed, pointing at the stars and making up one for each one of them.

“That one is Namjoon hyung,” Taehyung giggled, “the closest star to the moon.”

Jin gulped, looking up at the shining dot, “that’s Venus. Not a star.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon chuckled, “I am not really a star in his galaxy. Am I?”

Jin kept his eyes glued to the Venus, “you don’t need to be a star to be the closest one to the
moon.”

Everyone quieted down around them, eyes on the sky and arms around each other.

When Jin looked over, Namjoon was looking at him too. Between them were three people and yet
when they reached out, their hands clasped at each other.
Namjoon looked up at the sky but Jin couldn’t look away from him.

===&=&===

“What are you looking at?” Yoongi asked, smiling up at Jimin who was standing behind him and
looking at him through the mirror.

Jimin stayed where he was, ignoring Yoongi’s question and keeping his eyes on the man who was
getting dressed for the night. His hands were on Yoongi’s shoulders while his eyes roamed over
Yoongi’s face as the makeup artists moved around to fix Yoongi’s look for the night.

He was already dressed, getting his face done while Jimin just stood and watched. There was a
silent understanding in the staff. They didn’t ask him to move away or told him he was disturbing
as he stood there. Maybe they took a look at his face and knew he was just whipped.

Jimin blushed at the thought and looked at the man who was already looking at him. There was a
small smile on Yoongi’s lips.

“You are ready to go,” the makeup artist nodded, pointing at the chains Yoongi would wear for the
performance, “need my help with those?”

Yoongi shook his head, “you can leave. I will do those on my own.”

The makeup artists hurried towards Namjoon who was yet to fix his highlights.

Yoongi looked at Jimin, a quirk of his eyebrows as he stood up and turned to face him.

Jimin looked at Yoongi, watching the man pick up those three chains and hold it out for him. He
looked at the extended hand and then back at Yoongi with a curious tilt of his head.
“Help me put these on?” Yoongi mumbled, “whenever my dad used to leave for work, my mum
would fix his tie.”

Jimin blushed, face heating up as he just stood there, immobile.

Yoonig weighted the chains in his hands while his own cheeks were tinted red, “I don’t wear ties
or…”

“You are an idiot,” Jimin grabbed the first chain, stepping forward to loop it around Yoongi’s neck
while keeping his eyes on the hook, “such an idiot.”

The room was buzzing with movements. Everyone was rushing around them, people were calling
each other to fix everything. The boys were running around from one chair to the stage and from
the stage to the chairs. Everything was a blur to Jimin when he looked ahead and Yoongi was
already staring at him.

His hands faltered, coming down to rest on Yoongi’s chest. Yoongi let Jimin take his time with the
necklaces. One by one the three were done but Jimin’s hands lingered. Yoongi’s arms came to hold
Jimin between them. The rapper leaned forward to rest their foreheads together.

“A kiss before I go onstage?” Yoongi murmured, eyes lingering on Jimin’s lips.

Jimin sucked in a breath, eyes on the rapper’s mischievous ones, “hyung! There are cameras and
people all around us.”

“So?” Yoongi nudged Jimin’s cheek with the tip of his nose, “you are my boyfriend.”

Jimin blushed scarlet, shaking his head, “not here. Not in public. Remember?”

Yoongi did. He looked around, watching everyone and noticed the cameramen were outside
because the boys were changing in the room and they were granted some privacy.

But there were makeup artists, assistants and a lot of technicians running around. They were almost
in public.

“Guys, the stage is ready!” one of the staff yelled from the doorframe, “you three, let’s go.”

Hoseok and Namjoon got up, picking up their microphones and plugging in their earpieces.

“Yoongi, let’s go,” Namjoon called, hurrying away.

Jimin watched them go and jumped when Yoongi pulled him closer, he felt a smack of those lips
on his cheek before Yoongi was running away. A gummy smile on his lips.

Jimin touched his cheeks, moist from Yoongi’s lips and tingling from his kiss. A smile spread
across his lips, blush raising to the tip of his ears as he stomped his feet.

He followed Yoongi.

It was the last performance. He was going to watch it.

On his way out he saw Namjoon stop midway, Jin in front of him. Jin reached out, fixing the collar
of his long coat. Namjoon watched him and Jin looked back. Then Namjoon was pulling away,
going around Jin towards the stage.

Jin stood there, watching Namjoon go.

Jimin looked ahead at where the three rappers were disappearing. He looked at Jin and Jin’s eyes
found him.

Jin gave a small smile, walking away with hurried steps.

Jimin sighed, following the path that would take him to back-stage.

A laugh bubbled out of him when he noticed Taehyung and Jungkook already waiting by the
curtains, peeking out.

It felt like they were back at being teenagers, hiding to watch their hyungs perform.

A sense of pride filled Jimin when he looked out.

Now it was his boyfriend he came to watch. Out there, it was not just Suga hyung. It was his
boyfriend. Yoongi. Min Yoongi was not his crush anymore. Nor he was a love Jimin couldn’t
have. He was Jimin’s boyfriend.

That eerie feeling was heady. That so many people wanted or desired who Jimin had for himself
now.

Min Yoongi loved Park Jimin.

Jimin smiled to himself, leaning against Taehyung who wrapped him up in a hug. They held the
curtains aside, looking at the stage where the rappers were gearing up.

Then the beat dropped…

.
.
All Jimin could focus his eyes on was that red long coat. All he could see was that figure moving
around the stage with ease and so much confidence. All noise zoomed out from his brain, leaving
behind an echo of that growling voice.

Min Yoongi aka Agust D was a menace on stage and Jimin couldn’t take it anymore. His skin was
pricking with goosebumps. Heart pounding every time Yoongi’s verse came on. He was ashamed
to realize that he was hurrying the other two men through their verses so that he could listen to that
gruffy voice again.

Yoongi always rapped as if he was feeling those words in his bones, as if those words were
carrying every bit of his emotions out of him and it somehow touched Jimin’s heart.

He gripped the curtain a little tight in his grasp when Yoongi bounced on his feet, rotating on the
stage with the mic held against his lips so everyone could listen him breathe through the system.

“Suga hyung is so sexy!” Taehyung mumbled, eyes never leaving his favourite hyung.

The admiration wasn’t lost on Jimin. He nodded, voice lost deep in his throat.

“Look at him dab,” Jungkook sighed, breath leaving him in a whoosh.

Jimin wasn’t sure if Jungkook was talking about Namjoon or Yoongi or Hoseok because they all
were dabbing on the last beat before bouldering down the catwalk. Jimin watched Yoongi laugh at
something Hoseok did in front of him before swaying and turning around to face Namjoon.
Namjoon laughed too, as if sharing the words between each other.
Jimin heard the last drop of the beat before the lights were dimming.

Jimin saw Yoongi going towards the other side of the stage, to disappear behind the curtains.

“I will see you two,” Jimin rushed his words, hurrying his feet to carry him away as fast as they
could.

“Yes! Get that dick!” Taehyung yelled, laughing when Jungkook shushed him, holding onto his
bouncy boyfriend.

Jimin had no time to retort. He had to see Yoongi.

===&=&===

Yoongi saw Jimin when he turned around after walking into the dressing room. He smiled, the
smile dimming when Jimin marched forward and grabbed his wrist.

The stylists shouted for Jimin to leave Yoongi alone because they needed to take off the costume
but Jimin ignored them, jaw set and grip strong as he pulled Yoongi out of the room.

The stylists let them go when Hoseok and Namjoon walked in, both of them in dire need of
costume change.

“Jiminie?” Yoongi whisper-shouted, “where are you taking me?”

Jimin said nothing. He just pulled at Yoongi’s wrist until they were inside the washroom and Jimin
was pushing Yoongi in a stall before locking it.

“What are you doing?” Yoongi asked, eyes wide and on Jimin while his back hit the wall because
of the crammed space around them.

Jimin turned on him, eyes bold and on Yoongi, “I want you to fuck my mouth with the same vigor
you used to rap out there.”

“What?!” Yoongi fumbled for words, looking at Jimin and back at the door that was locked behind
them, “Jimin, people can hear us! Someone can walk…”

“Either you let me suck you off here or I don’t let you touch me for the rest of the tour,” Jimin had
his hands on Yoongi’s chest, sliding down towards his waistband, “you decide.”

“I don’t touch you for the rest of the tour it is,” Yoongi said, shaking his head, “Jimin, what… let’s
not jeopardize our relationship and…”

Jimin dropped on his knees, hands casually playing with the zipper of Yoongi’s pant and lips
jutting out on a pout.

Yoongi cursed, watching with hawk like eyes when Jimin leaned in to kiss his half-erect cock
through the pant before his teeth caught onto the zipper.

“Please, hyung,” Jimin whined in his most sultry voice, “let Jiminie suck you off? He really wants
to.”

He didn’t wait for Yoongi’s permission though, just went for the zipper and pulled it down.
Yoongi rested his head against the wall, keeping his eyes trained on the menace that was Park
Jimin.

Jimin mouthed at the erection over the boxer before pulling it down to join the trouser near
Yoongi’s knees. Yoongi watched Jimin take a hold of his almost erect cock and put it in his mouth
without any hesitation.

Yoongi let out a curse, head hitting the wall with vigor. He squeezed his eyes tight, letting the feel
of wet heat surround him.

The adrenaline rushing in him from the performance was making him jittery and his cock was
filling up quickly as Jimin rolled his tongue around it. Yoongi let his left hand rest on Jimin’s head,
combing his hair away from his forehead before grasping those strands in his grip to control the
pressure around his cock.

Jimin whined, sucking onto the tip of his cock before looking up at Yoongi. Yoongi pulled Jimin
down on him, watching those puffy lips spread wide around his girth until Jimin’s nose was hitting
his abdomen and Yoongi could feel Jimin gagging around him.

Yoongi knew they couldn’t speak. The voices he was letting out could get them in trouble too. So
he just let all his frustration and pent up energy go in Jimin’s mouth. He pulled his shirt up and
tugged it over his neck before freeing both of his hands to grasp at Jimin’s head.

Jimin’s eyes were on him and his hands fell away, locking behind him just like he knew Yoongi
liked. Yoongi cursed mentally as he started thrusting in and out of Jimin’s mouth.

The saliva making the glide easy and the gagging sound of Jimin’s throat protesting at the sudden
intrusion filled the stall. Yoongi started picking up speed, watching how Jimin’s lip-tint was
smearing all around the edges. How those eyes were tearing up with effort. Jimin was trying hard to
keep his tongue busy, roll around Yoongi just the way Yoongi liked it but Yoongi was relentless.
He wanted Jimin to feel just as breathless and he was feeling and with that in mind, Yoongi started
thrusting in earnest.

He would stop for a second, pressing Jimin’s head closer so his nose was smashed against
Yoongi’s abdomen and his mouth was full of Yoongi’s cock before pulling him away to let Jimin
breathe.

Jimin coughed but then opened his mouth wide, tongue poking out with his eyes on Yoongi as if he
couldn’t stay away. Yoongi held the base of his cock, jerking himself off against Jimin’s cheek and
watching how Jimin followed the motion, trying to get the dick in his mouth. Precum mixed with
Jimin’s saliva and Yoongi smeared it across his cheek, watching how filthy Jimin looked and yet
so breathtaking.

Yoongi let Jimin catch his cock in his mouth, cursing when Jimin sucked too hard, slurping down.
Yoongi tugged at his hair, snapping his hips in a punishing speed until he could feel his orgasm
building in him.

“Stand up,” Yoongi muttered, breathing through his mouth to not pant through his words, “face the
wall.”

Jimin whined, mouth still open, “cum in my mouth, hyung…”

“I said,” Yoongi tugged at Jimin’s hair, eyes hard, “stand the fuck up and face that wall. Now.”

Jimin followed this time. On wobbly legs, he stood up with a pout and turned his back to Yoongi.
“Pull your pants down and face the wall,” Yoongi’s grip around his cock tightened when Jimin
pulled his pant and briefs down, his plump ass on display, “bend forward, let me see your ass,
baby.”

Jimin did as told and whined, head bowing forward when Yoongi smacked his ass.

Yoongi watched it jiggle, saliva pooling in his mouth. He let his cock drip on Jimin’s ass,
smacking it again. Jimin pushed back, looking over his shoulders at Yoongi.

“Fuck me?” Jimin had tears in his eyes, “hyung…”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Jiminie,” Yoongi shook his head, “we don’t have lube and I will fuck you
once we get back to the hotel. Until then…”

Jimin watched Yoongi jerk himself off, rubbing his cock on the crack of Jimin’s ass, smearing
precum there. The tip caught on his rim twice, making Jimin arch his back, letting out soft noises
of protests when Yoongi pulled back both times.

“How dirty will it feel to have my cum dripping down your legs as you sit in the car with the
others, baby?” Yoongi wondered, “how will you feel having my cum drying on your skin?”

“Please,” Jimin whimpered, turning his face away to bow his head, “please, hyung…”

“You are such a whore for me, baby,” Yoongi smacked his ass again, “were you thinking about
this since you saw me on stage? Did you want me to fuck you since the evening?”

“Since the first time I saw you on stage,” Jimin muttered, looking over with tears brimming in his
eyes, “please, hyung. I have waited years for this…”

Yoongi stared for a few seconds, head empty, then Jimin was pressing back on him and his hand
started working fast on himself as he squeezed Jimin’s ass-cheek. He let the tip of his cock rub
against Jimin’s crack, oozing out cum to moisten the puckered hole. Jimin whimpered, pushing
back. Yoongi held on, slapping his cock on Jimin’s ass until he could feel the orgasm pushing at
his abdomen.

“Cum on me, hyung,” Jimin whispered, “mark me for yourself.”

Yoongi groaned, feeling the first spurt of cum hit Jimin’s ass, the second wave jerking out of him
to coat the back of Jimin’s thigh, dripping down. Yoongi let his cock ooze on Jimin’s hole, pushing
in the white substance with his finger. Jimin whimpered, muscles stretching around Yoongi’s
thumb that was in him now. Yoongi let his thumb rub against the soft muscles, feeling his warm
cum smear around the inside before pulling out. He gathered some cum from his still oozing slit
and held his fingers out.

“Suck me clean like a bitch then,” Yoongi murmured, “keep your ass high. Let my cum dry on
you.”

Jimin turned until Yoongi’s finger was in his mouth and he was wrapping his tongue around the
digit. He licked Yoongi’s whole palm clean before eyeing his limp cock.

“Suck it clean too,” Yoongi nodded, “I don’t want my cum to dry on me.”

Jimin leaned forward greedily, sucking and licking Yoongi clean. Yoongi ignored the over
stimulation and let Jimin clean him until he couldn’t take it anymore and pulled Jimin up by his
hair.
“I will fuck you raw when we reach the hotel, Park Jimin,” Yoongi murmured against Jimin’s lips
before smashing their lips together.

Jimin whimpered in the kiss, hands coming up to grasp at Yoongi’s long-coat. His pant was still
around his knees and he could feel cum trailing down his legs. He clenched his hole, feeling the
wetness around the rim.

“Do you want me to take care of you now,” Yoongi asked between the kisses, “come here.”

“I…” Jimin blushed, looking down at their feet, “when you put your thumb in me…”

“You came just like that?!” Yoongi asked, astonished, “God, Jimin. Fuck.”

“Can you tie me up like last time and fuck me when we get back to the hotel, hyung?” Jimin asked,
cheeks reddening, “while one of your raps play as the background?”

Yoongi snorted, arms circling around Jimin to squeeze his ass, “what is it with you and my raps?”

Jimin toyed with the chains around Yoongi’s neck, a shy smile on his lips, “I always wanted Agust
D to fuck me.”

“So tonight I will be Agust D?” Yoongi let his finger probe at Jimin’s hole, “and you?”

“I will be whatever you want,” Jimin smiled, leaning his head against Yoongi’s chest.

“Then you be my Jiminie,” Yoongi cupped Jimin’s face, “because be it Yoongi, Suga or Agust D,
it will always be you, Jiminie. Just you.”

Jimin let his eyes sting, “for me, it’s you too, hyung. In every shape or form, it will always be you.”

They kissed slowly this time. Kissed until they couldn’t and had to pull back. Yoongi chuckled,
tugging his jeans back up and watching Jimin do the same.

“I can’t believe you gave me head in a bathroom stall!”

Jimin giggled, “expect this to happen more often from now on,” he stood up after securing his
pant, “now that I can, I will have that dick in my mouth whenever I feel like.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, laughing, “that was… gross.”

Jimin giggled too, following Yoongi out of the washroom stall.

They washed their hands and faces before Yoongi was pulling Jimin in for another kiss.

“Now no one can come in on us, huh?” Jimin said, breathless from the kiss.

Yoongi shrugged, “we are done. Let’s go.”

Jimin let the smile widen on his lips when Yoongi clasped his hand while they walked out of the
washroom.

He knew they had to part ways when they saw a camera but for a little longer, he was able to
cherish what he had.

He looked at Yoongi.
Min Yoongi was his boyfriend now.

===&=&===

“Are you busy?”

Namjoon looked over to see Jin standing by the door of the hotel room Namjoon shared with
Jungkook. Jungkook was looking at Jin and back at Namjoon before he coughed in his hand and
pointed over Jin’s shoulder vaguely.

“I will see what Jimin and Tae are doing,” he grabbed his phone and wallet before leaving the
room.

Namjoon looked at Jin and Jin chuckled, closing the door behind himself.

“He still doesn’t know how to handle an awkward situation, huh?” Jin shook his head in
endearment.

“What do you want, hyung?” Namjoon pulled out his phone, “I was going to call Iseul and ask her
when she is going to take off…”

Jin hesitated near the door, tugging at his sweaterpaws and looking at the phone in Namjoon’s
hand.

He nodded jerkily before shrugging, “ohh… okay. I- I will talk later then…”

Namjoon watched, the frustration that was building in him since the start of the tour taking a toll
on him. When Jin started to turn away, Namjoon marched forward, grabbing at Jin’s arm.

Jin flinched, looking down at where Namjoon grabbed him and back at Namjoon’s face.

“Why can’t you talk back?!” Namjoon yelled almost, grip tightening around Jin’s elbow, “why do
you always accept whatever is chosen for you?! Why can’t you just…” fight for us…

Jin stepped forward, trying to pry Namjoon’s grip off him, “Joonie…”

“Don’t call me that!” Namjoon gritted out, “don’t call me that and,” he could feel the pain twisting
in his heart, the fear of losing Jin gripping his heart once again, “don’t call me that name when you
don’t mean it the way I wish you did.”

Jin reached out, hesitating before cupping Namjoon’s face, “we need to talk, Namjoon.”

No, we don’t!

Namjoon knew what Jin was going to say. He knew Jin was going to say something that would
shatter his heart.

He knew Jin was there to confirm what Namjoon knew was coming and was running away from.

Jin was going to break off what they had and Namjoon wasn’t ready.

“Don’t you feel anything for me?” Namjoon pulled Jin closer, “anything, hyung? Don’t you feel
the way…”
“We can’t,” Jin shook his head, “you know we can’t.”

“Why are you here then?” Namjoon let Jin pull him towards the bed, sitting down when Jin
pushed at his shoulder and sat down himself to face Namjoon.

“I need to talk,” Jin took Namjoon’s hands in his, looking down at their clasped hands, “Namjoon,
what we had,” he looked at Namjoon, urging the younger to look back at him, “was probably the
best thing that happened to me after Bangtan. Of course, Bangtan comes first because if I wasn’t
selected, how would I meet you?”

Namjoon kept his eyes trained on their joined hands, waiting for the moment Jin would pull away.
He wanted to see Jin pull away, he needed to see Jin pull away.

“But what we had,” Jin’s voice was thick, “can’t go on forever. Can it? We can’t break the
expectations of everyone around us.”

“I can,” Namjoon muttered, meeting Jin’s eyes, “I will if you just accept us.”

“I can’t be gay, Namjoon,” Jin whimpered, “my family… your family, no one will accept us.”

“Forget everyone,” Namjoon gripped Jin’s hands in his, “just for the time being, forget everyone
and look at me. See me, hyung, just me.”

“I did,” Jin mumbled, a lone tear rolling out of his left eye, “I came to you every day like that. I
was being selfish, I was being callous. I was letting my heart have who it wanted for as long as it
could but not anymore.”

“Because I am getting married?” Namjoon chuckled, “what kind of marriage I will have when I…”

“Don’t say it!” Jin shook his head, face contorting with pain, “don’t finish that line…”

“I love you,” Namjoon’s grip tightened on Jin’s hands, “I love you so much.”

Jin pulled away, averting his eyes, “I came here to ask for your friendship, Namjoon, because I
know it can be hard to stay friends after…”

“I can’t,” Namjoon mumbled, “I can’t look at you and be your fucking friend, hyung! Can you be
my friend?”

“I will try,” Jin nodded, “for everyone’s sake, I will try.”

“So you will let me be unhappy because it’s socially acceptable?” Namjoon dropped his hands on
his lap, his shoulders sagging, “you will think about my family, your family, the fans, the world
and ignore what you want, what I want?”

Jin shook his head, “you will…”

“Find love again?” Namjoon chuckled, “maybe. Or maybe I will grow in those habits I will build
around her. Maybe we will have a bearable life and you will find someone too. But will you be able
to forget us?”

Jin didn’t think about those things. He didn’t want to think about those things. He was doing okay
not thinking about too much into his future because… he looked at Namjoon… because a future
didn’t look appealing to him anymore. Not when he was compromising so much.

Namjoon nodded, feeling the way hopelessness settled in him, “if that’s all you want, then okay,
hyung. I will not make it harder on you.”

Jin could feel the relief sagging his muscles and at the same time he could feel the hopelessness
grow in him too.

He looked at Namjoon, registering his every feature in his memory because soon enough, he won’t
have Namjoon for himself.

The moment he walked out of the room, he would not have Namjoon like he did.

Jin was still staring at Namjoon and Namjoon was still staring at him.

“I hope you find love, hyung,” Namjoon stood up, a smile on his face that looked too broken to be
happy, “and I hope they hurt you like you hurt me tonight.”

Jin’s smile dropped and he watched Namjoon walk away, leaving his own room and Jin behind.

The fatigue caught up to him then. The tears building. Jin looked around the room, taking in
everything Namjoon had scattered around the room. This was the last time he would have the
privilege and he was just going to soak up everything he could of Namjoon before he had to leave.

Jin grabbed onto the pillow and hugged it closer to his chest, crying into it with his face buried in
it. The pillow smelt like Namjoon and Jin let himself have that. The comfort of that smell so
surreal. The presence so maddening.

“I found love, Joon,” Jin mumbled, sniffling, “and I let him go.”

No one was there to comfort him…

===&=&===

Jungkook sat on the chair in the greenroom, breathing heavily while trying to calm his racing heart
down from the exhausting performance he just delivered on stage.

He looked at the monitor that was showing the stage. Ready for the next performance.

Taehyung was performing ‘Sweet Night,’ for the first time.

Jungkook watched the screen, the sound of hairdryer closer to his ears as the makeup artists were
trying to style it back to normalcy.

Jungkook watched Taehyung step out on the stage. The soft lights following him down the catwalk
to the main stage where someone was playing the piano.
He was doing a piano cover of the song.

Jungkook wiped at his face, eyes stuck on Taehyung.

He was wearing the long coat from the ‘Singularity’ performance and when he reached the stool
that was in the middle of the stage, waiting for him, he turned around gracefully. The coat swishing
with wind and taking the sharp turn with him.

Taehyung got the cheers and he bowed before sitting down on the stool, one leg crossed over the
other.
The light intensified when the front lights turned on, basking Taehyung in fluorescent glow and
everything about him lightened up.

Jungkook stilled.

Taehyung was wearing the waistchain.

Taehyung had a crop top and loose pants. His midriff bare for the audience and the chain was
around the curve. It reflected the lights, demanding attention when the pearls moved with
Taehyung.

Jungkook felt the uncertainty at the back of his mind. Felt the hope pushing through his chest and
pushing until it was the sole feeling in Jungkook’s heart. It was terrifying. The hope. The hope he
held onto but to see Taehyung nourishing it…

Jungkook looked at the chain. It felt like Taehyung was accepting him. It felt like by wearing it
Taehyung was sending him a hint.

Jungkook was scared to admit but it felt like Taehyung was reaching out for him and all of a
sudden Jungkook felt panic settle in the pit of his stomach.

Was it just an accessory choice to Taehyung? He didn’t wear it while he performed Singularity.

He didn’t wear it for their other performances.

Then why now?

Jungkook couldn’t hear a word Taehyung sang. All he could focus on was that damn chain around
Taehyung’s waist and how it made him feel.

Hope kept people alive but hope killed people day by day. Hope played with people’s emotions
and now Jungkook was finding himself in a dilemma.

He couldn’t decide if he should confront Taehyung or just let it be.

Did it mean something?

Why was Taehyung wearing it after so many days of receiving it?

Jungkook blinked when Taehyung stood up, bowing to the audience. He had a sated smile on his
face, looking around while it widened on his lips. Taehyung thanked the audience before turning
on his heels and walking out of the stage.

Jungkook was on his feet before he could help himself. He almost ran past everyone. All he could
focus on was Taehyung wearing that chain.

Taehyung hadn’t wore it since Jungkook gave it to him and now that he did, Jungkook needed to
know why.

The feelings in him were mixing together, the anticipation, the anxiousness, the hopefulness, the
weariness. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to say but he had to see Taehyung.

He found Taehyung by the backstage, waiting for Jimin to go on stage for his performance before
all the boys went there for the last song.

When their eyes met, Taehyung was securing the belt of his long coat around himself. His eyes
widened when they found Jungkook and Jungkook reached out instinctively, stepping closer.

“Not now,” Taehyung shook his head, not matching Jungkook’s eyes, “not here, Jungkook.”

“I just want to know why,” Jungkook pleaded almost, “Tae…”

Taehyung shook his head, “not now!”

Jungkook sighed, defeated, and looked at Jimin who was going out to perform. His shoulders
sagged as he stood there, feeling his hope deflate, the pain unbearable.

But Jungkook stayed put. Letting Taehyung go.

All over again.

His heart lurched against his ribcage when he felt a hand touching his, slowing tangling with his
palm. Fingers slotted between his and when Jungkook looked at the person next to him, Taehyung
had his eyes fixed ahead of him.

“Later,” Taehyung sounded promising, gentle yet sure.

Jungkook looked down at their joined hands.

Later.

He could do with that.

===&=&===

The last performance was exhausting.

Jungkook kept looking over at Taehyung and watching him dance around the stage without
missing any beat. But Jungkook kept missing his footing, kept messing up to a point where Hoseok
had to glare at him when their eyes matched.

Jungkook looked down at his feet, trying to regulate his breathing and focus on the last few moves.

When they were done, they stood in line, bowing before they were leaving the stage.

.
.

“Can you all leave your personal lives right here in the backstage and go out there with nothing in
your mind but the thought that we have to deliver our best?” Hoseok rounded on them all, “you and
Yoongi, stop staring at each other,” he pointed at Jimin and Yoongi, “whatever you two have
going on, we all support it but I will not ignore how you two keep missing beats over it! Stop
staring at each other,” he then turned towards Namjoon and Jin, “whatever you two have to sort
though, do it quickly before I lose my mind and please, for the love of God, Tae and Jungkook, get
your shit together. We are BTS before anything else, guys. I expect nothing but professionalism
from you all. I will let this one time go but if this continues, I will call you all out on stage and fuck
me if you think I am joking.”

With that Hoseok marched away, frustrated. Jin followed him, almost running to reach him.
“I will leave now,” Namjoon murmured, “I need to pick up Iseul from the airport. See you at the
hotel.”

They nodded, watching Namjoon leave.

“Okay,” Yoongi rubbed his temple, “I think we four can go back to the hotel together. Let’s go and
change first.”

Jungkook grabbed at Taehyung’s hand, stopping him from walking away, “Tae…”

“Not now, Jungkook,” Taehyung sighed, tired, “I am tired.”

“We need to talk,” Jungkook murmured, stepping forward to reach for Taehyung’s waist, “Tae,
you know…”

“Not now, Jungkook,” Taehyung gritted out, looking at where Yoongi and Jimin had disappeared,
“it’s not the time.”

Jungkook stepped back as Taehyung moved away, already pulling off his headset and ruffling his
hair.

Jungkook followed, his head bowed and hands shoved in his pockets.

.
.

Through the entire ride to their hotel, Yoongi and Jimin talked among themselves while Jin,
Taehyung and Hoseok discussed something about the next city they would tour.

Jungkook looked out through the window, his mind reeling with thoughts he couldn’t fix. His eyes
would turn towards Taehyung time to time and their eyes would meet once in a while. Taehyung
would always look away, either back to the members or out through the window.

Jungkook could feel his patience breaking. He was doing okay, he was doing fine when Taehyung
had asked him to wait. He was okay with waiting.

But now that he had seen Taehyung wear that waist-chain, all he could feel was this impatience.
He needed to know why Taehyung wore it. Did it mean anything?

Was it a sign that Taehyung was accepting his love?

Was it because Taehyung was ready to be in a relationship?

Was it because Taehyung wanted to give them a shot?

Jungkook couldn’t understand and that was messing with his head.

When they reached the hotel, the securities opened the door for them and Jungkook stepped out to
follow everyone in the lobby.

“Jungkook, which room are you staying in?” Yoongi asked, “Namjoon is taking up a room for him
and Iseul, right?”

Jungkook shrugged, “I will book a room for myself, you all go ahead.”

“See you tomorrow morning,” Jin and Hoseok followed Yoongi and Jimin but Taehyung stayed
with Jungkook.

“We need to talk,” Taehyung mumbled, not meeting Jungkook’s eyes, “can you come to my
room?”

Jungkook nodded mutely, his voice dying in his throat when Taehyung pulled him towards the
lifts. He would book a room after they talked. Right now, all he felt was the anxiety crippling back.
It swirled in his stomach, rolling up through his spine and spreading across his chest. Jungkook
kept stealing glances at Taehyung as the lift climbed the floors.

Taehyung looked tired. Yawning in his fist as he leaned against the wall of the lift.

Jungkook sighed, pulling Taehyung to his chest, “we can talk later. If you are tired…”

“I am not,” Taehyung murmured, leaning his forehead against Jungkook’s chest, “I just need a bath
and I will be fine.”

Jungkook nodded, lips pressing against Taehyung’s hair, “I will understand if you want me to wait
in the lobby until you are done with your bath. I need to pick up my suitcases from the room I
shared with Namjoon too.”

“Pick up your bags and come to my room,” Taehyung shrugged, “the bed is huge. You can stay the
night there.”

Jungkook’s heart leapt in his chest and he tried to see Taehyung’s face, match those eyes, “are you
sure?”

Taehyung chuckled, “that I want to share a room with you? Yes, Jungkook. We have shared a room
numerous times!”

“If you don’t feel the difference now then…” Jungkook was silenced when Taehyung’s lips
touched the side of his jaw, pressing there.

“I feel it,” Taehyung murmured, looking up at Jungkook with sleepy eyes, “I felt it before you did,
remember?”

Jungkook sneaked his arm around Taehyung’s waist, pulling him closer to his chest, “that doesn’t
invalidate how I feel now.”

Taehyung chuckled, “I never said it did.”

Jungkook looked at the securities who had their backs at them, standing as tall as they could.

Jungkook leaned down to murmur against Taehyung’s lips, “I will meet you in a few minutes?”

Taehyung nodded, “yeah. See you.”

===&=&===

Jungkook stood by the room no. 3001 and pressed the doorbell. His eyes fixed on his shoes and
hand gripping the handle of the suitcases.

The door opened and Jungkook looked up and froze.

Taehyung was in a robe, parted and not tied, underneath which he wore nothing but a boxer.

Jungkook stumbled inside, closing the door behind himself and looking at Taehyung.

Taehyung stepped ahead, humming to himself so casually as if he didn’t even notice Jungkook
standing right there.

When they reached the bed, Taehyung turned, pointing at the wardrobe, “you can keep your
suitcases there.”

Jungkook nodded mutely, going over to place his luggage in the wardrobe before turning around to
see Taehyung leaning against the wall.

They just stared at each other for a few seconds. Where all Jungkook felt was the way his heartbeat
started raising and how he had to physically restrain himself from stepping towards Taehyung.

He let his eyes wander though, halting when they came back up to meet Taehyung’s eyes that were
on him.

“Want to take a bath with me, Jungkook?” Taehyung asked, voice low and seductive, but Jungkook
could hear the vulnerability layered underneath.

Jungkook leaned back against the wardrobe, feeling the weight drop on his shoulder and then lift
off without a warning.

The words registered in his mind and his mind reeled back to when taking a bath was last
mentioned between them.

“Let’s take one together then.”

“Nah. That’s something I am keeping for my lover. You, young man, don’t get that.”

Jungkook looked at Taehyung with his mouth falling slack and his eyes almost pleading for
Taehyung to understand what he couldn’t ask. He was too scared of the rejection. Of it not meaning
what Jungkook thought it meant.

Taehyung seemed to understand what Jungkook couldn’t voice and his cheeks heated up. He
nodded, just as mute as Jungkook.

As if he was just as scared.

As if they both were terrified of the other rejecting them.

Every question Jungkook had was answered by just that one nod.

It felt like Taehyung just answered all of his doubts and fears by that one nod.

The relief that coursed through Jungkook’s veins was exhilarating. It made a laugh bubble out of
his lips.

He reached out, instinctively, and hurried to bypass the bed to grasp at Taehyung who came to him
easily. In his arms, pressed against Jungkook with his hands resting on Jungkook’s chest.

“Take a bath with me,” Taehyung spoke in a hushed voice, as if he was scared to offer that.
As if he was scared that Jungkook wouldn’t want it.

“I would love to,” Jungkook sniffled, burying his face against Taehyung’s neck, inhaling deeply,
“oh, God, Tae…”

It felt like he was accepting more than just a bath. It felt like they were accepting each other in that
moment.

It felt like they were choosing each other over and above everything else.

And Jungkook would not trade it for anything else. He would not trade that feeling of joy for
anything else.

When he pulled back, Taehyung had his eyes on Jungkook and his smile was a small one, really
small, but it spoke volume.

Jungkook took relief in the knowledge that Taehyung was feeling exactly the same.

Taehyung tugged at his wrist and Jungkook followed him in the bathroom.

They stripped without a word exchanged. Taehyung pushed Jungkook to sit in the bathtub before
dropping his robe on the ground.

And Jungkook reached out, instinctively and greedily, trying to grasp at Taehyung’s wrist but
Taehyung pulled away.

He was standing there, naked and looked at Jungkook with those hooded eyes.

“You don’t get to touch me until I tell you to,” Taehyung whispered, stepping into the bathtub.

Jungkook nodded, eager and impatient. He watched Taehyung turn his back to him before sitting
down.

A moan escaped Taehyung’s lips before he was leaning back against Jungkook and Jungkook
sucked in a breath. Their bodies touched, Taehyung’s head lolling until it rested back on
Jungkook’s shoulder and Jungkook’s arms twitched over the rim of the tub to grasp onto
Taehyung.

Taehyung turned his face to whisper against Jungkook’s cheek, breath ghosting over the skin there,
“don’t make me regret my decision, Jungkook, it took me ages to accept you again.”

“I won’t,” Jungkook looked down so he could see Taehyung, their lips almost touching, hot breaths
ghosting on their lips, “I would never.”

Taehyung hummed, turning a little more to cup Jungkook’s jaw with his left hand, “okay then.”

Jungkook sucked in a breath when their lips met, his lips tingling and sending current down his
body. He clutched at Taehyung then, pulling him closer in his arms as he leaned more down to slot
their lips together more intimately.

Taehyung hummed in the kiss, letting Jungkook press him against the bathtub.

Jungkook was greedy, he knew he was being forceful but he needed this kiss.

It felt like a token of Taehyung’s love for him and Jungkook had never felt more desperate to
receive something like he was right then.
“Jungkook,” Taehyung moaned when Jungkook pulled him up and turned him to make him sit on
Jungkook’s lap.

They kissed vigorously, hands clutching at each other as if they couldn’t believe this was
happening.

Water sloshed around them as they moved, urgent and gentle at the same time. Waves crashing
against the marbled walls of the bathtub.

“I want you,” Jungkook murmured against Taehyung’s lips, head tipped upwards so he could taste
Taehyung’s kisses, “here. Now. Please?”

“I want you too,” Taehyung nodded between kisses, “I shaved for you. See.”

Jungkook groaned, hand feeling the smoothness of Taehyung’s legs around his hips, “fuck! Don’t
say stuff like that! You will kill me!”

Taehyung chuckled, pulling back, “but we can’t fuck here,” he shook his head, “not here.”

Jungkook nodded, “wherever you want it. just…” don’t make me wait anymore.

“We will take this bath and then you will go and wait for me in the bed,” Taehyung giggled
between kisses when Jungkook whined, “and no, you don’t get any more kisses.”

Jungkook let Taehyung turn and sit back against his chest. He sighed, relaxing in the lukewarm
water.

He let his fingers graze Taehyung’s shoulders as he prepped kisses there.

“So…” he watched Taehyung’s legs crossed in front of him, underneath the water, “are you my
boyfriend then?”

Taehyung let out a breathy chuckle, “I’m afraid so.”

Jungkook hid his grin against Taehyung’s nape, “thank you.”

Taehyung let out a hum, “when I was singing ‘sweet night,’ and ‘blue and grey,’ you know what I
was thinking?”

Jungkook looked at him, craning his neck to see the side of Taehyung’s face.

Taehyung leaned his head against Jungkook’s chest and blinked up at him.

“How sweet night was answered when you were standing right there and waiting for me to catch
up to you,” Taehyung breathed out a sigh, “and how I don’t feel so alone and blue all the time
anymore. Now…” he gave Jungkook a tentative smile, “now sleep comes to me a little easily. Now
I don’t wake up in an empty room, feeling so alone and lonely. Nowadays I don’t feel so tired and
lonesome. You…” he kissed the underside of Jungkook’s jaw, “you are always there. You stayed.
Even when I didn’t accept you, even when I was reluctant to love again. You didn’t force me. You
didn’t hurry me along the way. You waited for me to catch up with you,” Taehyung’s eyes were
glossy, “the last straw was tonight. When I asked you to wait, you did. You didn’t try to force me
into talking. You didn’t lose patience with me. Thank you. I needed it. I needed to know you would
wait for as long as I need.”

Jungkook nodded, words too complicated to string together.

Time passed by… they sat in the warm water, feeling the way their muscles relaxed.

When Jungkook opened his mouth, a sigh escaped him…

He nosed at Taehyung’s cheek, “you are worth years of waiting, Tae,” he mumbled against
Taehyung’s forehead, “you are worth the wait of a lifetime and more. I would wait for you forever
if you need it.”

“Thank you for making me believe in it,” Taehyung whispered, “thank you for making me feel so
worthy.”

“Because you are,” Jungkook hoped Taehyung understood that, “because you are too precious.
You are worth everything. You are everything to me, Tae, and I would wait forever if you want me
to.”

“I would rather have that forever with you,” Taehyung chuckled, sniffling, “I would rather we have
that forever together.”

Jungkook felt the goosebumps break through his skin and he nodded, “I would love that too.”

Taehyung pulled back, “the water’s cold now.”

Jungkook hadn’t noticed it. He nodded anyway.

Taehyung gave him a small smile, “Can you go and wait for me in the bedroom?”

Jungkook nodded again, mutely standing up and reaching for the towels. He wrapped one around
himself and looked back at Taehyung who was still in the bathtub.

For a second Jungkook just stared.

Taehyung’s hair was a mess, falling around his face in a messy halo. His eyes were shiny, on
Jungkook and so large on his face. Those cheeks glinted with waterdroplets, skin glistening. Those
puffy lips were parted, so soft and alluring even from the distance.

Taehyung was a beauty in his natural habitat and Jungkook was mesmerized.

Jungkook couldn’t believe Taehyung was really giving him a chance.

Jungkook couldn’t believe Taehyung wanted him.

Oh, God!

Taehyung smiled when Jungkook just stared at him and Jungkook smiled back before walking out
of the washroom.

.
.

Taehyung hated the sliver of doubt as he tied the sides of the red, lace nightwear.

It was made of lace and the sides were sealed by two threads that Taehyung had to tie in a bow for
the dress to hug his curves snugly. It was transparent enough to show off his curves and because
the sides were tied with two strings, Taehyung could see a lot more skin than he expected.

Oh. Well.
The thong he wore underneath hid nothing. Absolutely nothing.

It was black and the front had a sliver of silk black cloth that held his cock in but the head was still
peeking out of the side and the back had nothing. It was just a black string over his butt-crack to tie
with the waistband that was three equally flimsy strings. They all met over the curve of
Taehyung’s ass and created a bow.

Taehyung felt his smooth legs and clicked on the anklets, blushing when he saw how smooth he
looked even between his legs.

He had never shaved his pubic hair and now that he did, he was liking the feeling of the
smoothness.

He applied the liner on his eyes, mascara going next. He let out a shaky breath as he used a pink
gloss for his lips because he wasn’t comfortable with red lips. He tried it. Okay? He did.

Taehyung watched himself in the mirror, ruffling up his hair before putting on a chain around his
neck and looking down at the waist-chain he wore underneath his dress.

He hoped Jungkook liked it. Otherwise he didn’t know what he would do.

He strapped on the high-heels before he was looking back at himself in the mirror.

What if Jungkook didn’t like it? What if he was looking terrible? Oh, God, what if Jungkook found
him stupid? What if Jungkook wanted something else?
What if Jungkook hated the whole thing?

Taehyung shook his head. It was too late. He wasn’t going to back down now.

After spraying the perfume on himself, Taehyung let out a shaky breath before he was pulling the
door of the bathroom open.

.
.

Jungkook was standing by the window, looking out at the traffic while wearing a loose jogger and
nothing else.

Taehyung closed the bedroom door behind himself and the sound made Jungkook turn towards
him.

Taehyung stepped forward, standing in the middle of the room before he dared to take a look at
Jungkook.

Jungkook was looking at him. Gawking, if Taehyung was to be honest. His eyes were almost
bulging out of his socket and his mouth was parted around a silent gasp.

“I didn’t know what kind of lace you liked or what dress to buy so…” Taehyung hesitated when
Jungkook said nothing for a long moment, “is this good? I mean…” he knew he was blabbering as
he watched Jungkook just stand there, “I can change if you want…”

“Come here,” Jungkook held out his hand, voice dry and nearly a growl, “come to me.”

Taehyung stepped forward, taking the extended hand and letting out a small shriek as Jungkook
tugged him forward until he was colliding with Jungkook’s chest.
“Jungkook…” Taehyung breathed out, feeling the solid muscles under his palm, flexing under his
touch.

Jungkook leaned in, breathing him in with a curse, “fuck,” he nosed the side of Taehyung’s neck,
“fuck, you smell so good, Tae.”

Taehyung suppressed the shiver, “thank you.”

“Tell me what I am allowed to do with you,” Jungkook murmured, lips pressing against the skin of
Taehyung’s neck, “tell me what I am allowed to have.”

“Anything,” Taehyung whispered, arms going around Jungkook’s neck to pull him closer, “I am
yours tonight.”

Jungkook pulled back a little, his pupil dilated, jaw a little tense, “just tonight?”

Taehyung blushed, lower lip caught between his teeth, “every night from now on. I am yours.”

“Fuck,” Jungkook let his arm sneak around Taehyung’s waist to hold him possessively closer,
feeling the curves under his touch, “I don’t know where to start. You look so gorgeous, babe.”

Taehyung whined at the nickname, finally his to own, “tell me what you want and I will do it.”

“I want you to suck me off,” Jungkook murmured against Taehyung’s lips, “as I sit on this couch, I
want you to suck me off. Can you do that, babe?”

Taehyung nodded, eagerly pushing Jungkook down on that couch near the window, “yes, yes. I
can.”

Jungkook watched him as Taehyung went down on his knees, pulling his jogger down to grasp at
his dick. Jungkook leaned back, arms on the armrest and legs parted to accommodate Taehyung
between them.

“You look so perfect right here,” Jungkook murmured, “between my legs. Just for me.”

Taehyung ignored the twist in his stomach, feeling the arousal from those words. He concentrated
on Jungkook’s erection.

Taehyung mouthed at the tip, kissing the slit and making eye-contact with Jungkook as he went
down on him.

Jungkook let out a curse, looking at Taehyung’s stretched lips around his girth.

“Ass high in the air, babe,” Jungkook murmured, “go on your hands and knees as you suck me off.
I want to see that ass.”

Taehyung felt those words in his guts, his own dick twitching in his thong. He went down on
Jungkook, sucking and bobbing his head as he let his other hand support his weight while going on
his knees to hold his ass up. The dress slid down over his smooth skin, giving a perfect view of his
ass to Jungkook who cursed again.

Taehyung let his other hand fall away too, using just his mouth to suck Jungkook off.

“Look at you,” Jungkook murmured, hand coming down to grasp at Taehyung’s hair, “on all four.
Ass so beautiful up in the air.”
Taehyung felt the dribble of precum in his mouth, the head of the dick hitting the back of his
throat. He gagged, pulling back and tonguing the underside of the cock. He let his tongue trace the
vein, feeling the smooth skin of Jungkook’s cock in his mouth.

As Jungkook’s hips started moving, Taehyung let out a whine, looking up to see Jungkook looking
down at him. The predatory gaze in those eyes made Taehyung preen. He went down as much as
he could, until he could feel the head of Jungkook’s cock hitting the back of his throat.

Taehyung hollowed his cheeks, the sound of the slide of Jungkook’s cock on his tongue making
him whimper. Jungkook let him decide the pace, sitting leisurely as Taehyung lost his calm as
minutes went by.

Taehyung could feel the saliva, mixed with precum, dribbling down his jaw, falling on the floor
between them. Taehyung looked up at Jungkook when Jungkook wiped at his eyes.

Jungkook smiled, pulling his cock back to grip at the base. Taehyung sat back on his hunches and
saw Jungkook jerking himself off.

“Come in my mouth,” Taehyung opened his mouth wide, looking at Jungkook.

Jungkook nodded, letting the head of his cock trace Taehyung’s lips, eyes roaming over Taehyung
before he was grunting, shooting load of cum in Taehyung’s mouth.

Taehyung caught the load in his mouth, showing it to Jungkook before he swallowed, wiping at his
lips with his tongue. Jungkook grabbed at his wrist and pulled him up until he was straddling
Jungkook’s thighs. Taehyung’s knees pressing into the leather.

Taehyung accepted the kiss Jungkook offered greedily, preening when Jungkook growled in his
mouth.

“I love when your mouth tastes like my cum,” Jungkook gritted out, hands kneading Taehyung’s
ass, “I love how it makes me feel.”

“Possessive prick,” Taehyung hissed, cupping Jungkook’s jaw to kiss him square on the mouth,
“you are such a possessive dick.”

The kisses were open-mouthed, hurried and leisured at the same time. Taehyung felt Jungkook’s
cock underneath him and he pressed down on it.

Jungkook threw his head back with a curse and Taehyung grinned. He rotated his hips, grinding
down on Jungkook’s limp cock.

“Too soon,” Jungkook grabbed at his ass, slapping it with his palms, “slow down.”

“I want it in me,” Taehyung grunted, lower lip caught in his mouth, “I have waited enough.”

“You think I haven’t?” Jungkook stood up, hands under Taehyung’s ass to hold him up and
Taehyung yelped, arms locking around Jungkook’s neck when he felt the cold glass of the window
against his back, “you think I haven’t waited every day to have you like this?”

Taehyung’s head hit the glass with a thud when Jungkook started mouthing at his throat, leaving
marks. Taehyung let him, his own arms scratching at Jungkook’s back, leaving behind his nail-
imprint for everyone to see. The thought was heady, so eerie yet so cherished. Taehyung looked at
Jungkook who was looking up at him. Taehyung’s legs were still around Jungkook’s waist, his
weight supported by Jungkook’s arms.
“Have me like this?” Taehyung asked, cupping Jungkook’s face before kissing him soundly, “have
me pressed against the window so people can see?”

“Have you in my arms,” Jungkook corrected him, panting in Taehyung’s mouth, “never want
anyone else to see you like this. Ever.”

Taehyung heard the possessiveness in his tone and he preened under it. He tugged at Jungkook’s
hair, fingers grasping at those silky locks. Jungkook’s arms bulged as he held Taehyung up like he
weighted nothing.

Taehyung was going to cream himself just from the thought of it.

“So you are not into exhibitionism?” he asked, pouting, “I kind of wanted you to fuck me in front
of an audience or maybe let a few people in while you tie me up, naked for their eyes.”

Jungkook growled, his hands squeezing at Taehyung’s ass, “shut up! That would never happen!”

Taehyung laughed, breathless from the adrenaline rushing in his blood and the feeling of
Jungkook’s hardening dick pressing against his stomach. He looked down at Jungkook and
Jungkook was already looking at him.

For a second, the heady feeling of lust cleared and they just looked at each other. For a second their
bodily needs gave way to their feelings and Taehyung found himself leaning down to rest his
forehead against Jungkook’s.

“I love you,” Jungkook murmured between them, “I want you for myself. All for me. Body, soul,
heart. Give me your everything.”

Taehyung wished, Taehyung hoped, Jungkook knew that he already owned everything Taehyung
had to offer. He hoped Jungkook looked at him and understood Taehyung was his. Since the start.
Even when Jungkook didn’t want him, Taehyung was his.

“And are you?” Taehyung asked, still tentative, still unsure, hesitant to match those eyes when
Jungkook looked at him, “mine?”

“Since forever,” Jungkook hushed against Taehyung’s lips, “even before I knew it, I was yours. I
was always yours.”

Taehyung let Jungkook down him on the ground so they were eye to eye. He let Jungkook press
closer, hugging him against the window. Arms around his neck. Jungkook’s nose buried in
Taehyung’s neck, arms around Taehyung’s waist.

“I was yours before I realized,” Jungkook muttered, “I was yours when you walked into the dorm
and we met for the first time. I was yours when you smiled at me for the first time. I was yours
even when I didn’t understand what I was feeling. I am yours now that I know how I feel and I will
be yours forever.”

Taehyung soaked in the words, arms caressing Jungkook’s back. His eyes misty and lips quivering.

“I have waited long enough, Gukkie,” Taehyung whispered, sniffling, “I have waited so long for
this.”

Jungkook tugged at him then, pulling him towards the bed while he walked backwards and
Taehyung followed him forward.
“Then let me show you,” Jungkook twirled them to push at Taehyung, smiling when Taehyung hit
the bed with a grunt before he climbed up to cover Taehyung’s body with his, “let me show you
what you mean to me.”

===&=&===

Taehyung had the dress’s strap falling off his shoulder, pulled down from his right shoulder to
show his chest. The material was too flimsy for Jungkook’s rough handling and it tore the strap,
much to Taehyung’s chagrin.

Jungkook had his mouth around Taehyung’s right nipple and Taehyung had his head thrown back
around a moan and a cry that was of frustration.

“It hurts,” he tugged at Jungkook’s hair on his nape, glaring down at the man who refused to move
an inch, “Jungkook, I swear to God, you…” he keened when Jungkook’s teeth bit down on the
already sensitive bud and tugged at hit, “fuck! Stop it!”

Jungkook was between his legs, leisurely sucking on his nipple for almost half an hour now while
his other hand twisted Taehyung’s left nipple between his thumb and forefinger over the material
of the garment.

Taehyung bucked up when Jungkook lapped at his nipple with the flat of his tongue before sucking
onto it soundly. Taehyung let his arms grab onto Jungkook’s biceps, nails burying in the skin as
punishment.

Jungkook spurred on at that, tugging at the other side of the dress before it gave away to reveal his
left nipple that disappeared in Jungkook’s mouth right away.

The right nipple was moist from Jungkook’s saliva and as the cool air of the room hit it, Taehyung
could see it perk up, stiffening. He tugged at it himself, moaning at the sensation. Jungkook
smirked, looking up from his ministration.

“You like it when I suck onto your nipples,” he murmured, watching Taehyung play with the
sensitive bud.

“Fuck me if I do,” Taehyung glared, “you have a nipple fetish yourself. You suck onto them as if
milk will come out any moment if you sucked harder!”

“Your fucking mouth,” Jungkook reached for the tube of lube on the bedside table, squiring some
on his fingers before it disappeared between them, “it will be the death of me.”

Jungkook’s mouth went back on Taehyung’s nipple and Taehyung felt the first finger around his
rim.

He moaned, twisting his own nipple and feeling the way Jungkook’s finger circled his rim twice or
so before entering him.

Taehyung looked down to see Jungkook still mouthing at his nipple as his finger started moving in
Taehyung. His legs fell on the bed, open and inviting for Jungkook to lay properly between them.

Jungkook’s finger moved in him leisurely, rolling and pressing against the walls before there was
another finger pressing against the rim. Taehyung bit down on his lower lip when that finger
entered him too, crisscrossing in him to accommodate themselves. The press against his prostate
made him whimper, head twisting from side to side.

He came once, just from Jungkook sucking onto his nipples and now his limp dick was filling up
again from Jungkook’s skillful fingers.

“Dying while sucking onto my nipple and having your fingers up is my ass,” Taehyung hummed,
“yeah, that’s the best death one can wish for.”

Jungkook’s fingers rammed into him, making Taehyung choke on a laugh. Jungkook pressed
against his prostate, rubbing the spot with his fingers before pulling out completely.

Taehyung watched Jungkook dribble more lube, leathering his four fingers and he parted his legs
more.

Jungkook worked up to three fingers, moving them in Taehyung and watching him twist and turn.
Jungkook’s mouth found Taehyung’s when he pushed in the fourth finger, absorbing the whine
Taehyung let out with his lips.

Taehyung’s arms grabbed at Jungkook as those four fingers crisscrossed him open, loose enough
for Jungkook’s cock that was pressed between them.

“Did you fuck someone after we stopped?” Taehyung asked, lips moving against Jungkook’s soft
ones, “after our medical checkup?”

Jungkook shook his head, fingers ramming into Taehyung with vigor, “you know I didn’t.”

Taehyung grasped at Jungkook’s locks to tug him back so he can match that glare with his own,
“how am I supposed to know? You probably…”

“Did you?” Jungkook asked, fingers halting in Taehyung for a second, eyes locked with
Taehyung’s, “fuck someone else?”

Taehyung wanted to say yes. Just to spite Jungkook. Just to hurry Jungkook up and feel the
roughness of Jungkook’s jealousy in him but he couldn’t do it. Not when Jungkook was looking at
him like that, so vulnerable, so melancholic.

He shook his head, pulling Jungkook down to kiss him, “I couldn’t even think about sex.”

Jungkook let out a breath, the fingers in Taehyung moving again, “neither could I. I could never.”

Taehyung let out a breath too, “then fuck me without a condom. That’s what I was going to say.”

Jungkook dropped his head on Taehyung’s shoulder, “you are such a prick. Can’t you just say it
directly?”

Taehyung pushed down on his fingers, “what’s the fun in that?”

Jungkook chuckled, pulling out to rub the moisture on Taehyung’s dress. Taehyung whined,
shoving at the material to get out of it. Jungkook stopped him, grabbing at his wrist.

“All of this stays on,” Jungkook muttered, “the dress, the thong,” he licked his lips, looking down
on Taehyung, “and those heels.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes, “I hate you sometimes!”

Jungkook shrugged, “we both know that’s not true.”

Taehyung’s snarky remark died in his throat when he watched Jungkook pour lube in his hand,
rubbing it to heat it up before applying it on his dick. Taehyung watched, throat bobbing, as
Jungkook fisted himself. The girth so wide in Jungkook’s grip as he twisted his wrist on each flick.

“Are you going to jerk yourself off?” Taehyung glared, “I am kind of waiting here. Gaping open.”

Jungkook closed his eyes, cursing under his breath, “you need to learn sexy talk. Seriously. We
gotta get you in classes if there’s any.”

Taehyung shrugged, “I mean, I won’t mind if the trainer is going to fuck me faster than yo…” he
choked on his words, arms flying to grab at Jungkook’s biceps when Jungkook nudged against his
rim before pressing in.

Taehyung’s eyes rolled back with a moan tearing through his lips, his head tilting backwards,
“fuck, Jungkook.”

Jungkook grunted in acknowledgement, pressing in until he bottomed out, “yes. Say my name. Just
me, you will have just me from now on.”

Taehyung felt the cock pulsating in him, his rim squeezing at the girth in him. The intrusion made
him feel breathless, too full. Taehyung looked down at where Jungkook was pressing in on him
and whined.

“You are so big, fuck,” Taehyung yowled, arms hiding his face, “fuck, I… wait. Don’t move
now.”

Jungkook nodded, looking down at where he was pushing into Taehyung. The feeling of it making
him dizzy. The moist heat of Taehyung’s walls all around him was too much and Jungkook tried to
breathe though his mouth to not cum right there.

Taehyung asked him to wait but his inner muscles were pulling Jungkook in. jungkook grabbed the
underside of Taehyung’s knees and pushed the legs up towards Taehyung’s chest. Almost bending
him in half.

“Fuck,” Taehyung cried out when Jungkook’s manipulation made his dick reach deeper in him, “I
told you to slow the fuck down!”

“I am slowing down,” Jungkook glared, “but your hole is kind of sucking me in and I am trying to
fucking hold myself back.”

Taehyung breathed in, “did you grow bigger or something? I can’t believe… I feel so full,
Jungkook.”

Jungkook cursed, leaning down to press his lips against Taehyung’s while bending him in half.
Taehyung kissed him back eagerly, locking his legs around Jungkook’s narrow hips. His arms
caressed Jungkook’s back, rubbing up and down to calm him.

“Move slowly, yeah?” Taehyung murmured against Jungkook’s lips, “I haven’t done this since…”

Jungkook looked him in the eyes, “since the last time we were together.”

Taehyung nodded, throat bobbing around the clog, “since the last time you were in me.”

Jungkook groaned, forehead dropping on Taehyung’s shoulder before he was pulling out.
“I love you,” Jungkook whispered against the shell of Taehyung’s ear before slamming in.

Taehyung arched his back, meeting Jungkook’s thrust with his hips shoving down, “I do too. So
much.”

Jungkook rocked in him, rolling his hips and then thrusting back in.

Taehyung felt the tip of Jungkook’s dick pressing against his prostate and he let out a whine of
Jungkook’s name. Jungkook pulled back to look down at where he was thrusting into Taehyung,
his lips parting around a growl.

“Look at you taking me so thoroughly,” he murmured, tongue poking out to moisten his lower lip
as his hips snapped in Taehyung, “you are so good for me. Taking me so well, babe.”

Taehyung hid his face in his palms, breathing through his mouth before he peeked through the gaps
of his fingers at Jungkook who was still looking down at where they were joined.

“Stop looking like that,” he whimpered, feeling the way Jungkook’s dick dragged against his inner
muscles, “you vulgar shit!”

Jungkook looked up at him with a cheeky grin, slapping Taehyung’s thigh, “look at you leaking in
your thong. You love it when I tell you how good you are being for me.”

Taehyung gasped when he felt Jungkook grabbing at the thong, inspecting it while he fucked into
Taehyung with force.

“Is this expensive?” Jungkook asked, looking up at Taehyung in between a momentary pauses.

Taehyung frowned, “yeah?” he gasped at a particularly hard thrust, “I mean, yeah. Why?”

Jungkook shrugged, twisting the material around his fist, “I will buy you more.”

Taehyung jerked bodily when Jungkook ripped the thong off him, throwing it on the ground.

“Kept brushing against my cock,” Jungkook smirked, leaning down to capture Taehyung’s lips
with his.

Taehyung squeezed his eyes close when Jungkook started finding a tempo, moving back and forth
in him. He whimpered, blinking back the glossiness to look at Jungkook who was looking back at
him.

Taehyung’s arms went around Jungkook’s neck on a particularly hard thrust, his mouth falling
open around a silent scream.

Jungkook grunted, looking between the two of them while mouthing at Taehyung’s heated skin.

“Can you cum from this?” Jungkook breathed the question against Taehyung’s skin, “just from me
fucking you?”

Taehyung nodded, “I am close. Oh, God!”

Jungkook’s thrusts started gaining force. The obscene sound of skin slapping against skin filled the
room. The lube and pre-cum squelching out of Taehyung’s hole while Jungkook drilled in him
mixed with the moans they both were letting out. Sweat built on their skin, making the glide of
their bodies easier.
Taehyung combed Jungkook’s hair back, eyes roaming over Jungkook’s face while his hands
caressed his back. Jungkook met those eyes curiously, still fucking him into the mattress. A smile
was on Taehyung’s lips, those eyes glossy from arousal and tenderness at the same time.

“For a long time, I thought I would never see you like this again,” Taehyung murmured, leaning up
to kiss Jungkook’s cheek, whining against his skin when the head of Jungkook’s cock grazed at his
prostate, “for a long time, I thought I would never be yours like this.”

Jungkook stilled momentarily, dropping his forehead against Taehyung’s chin, “not now. Don’t
say stuff like that now.”

He reached for Taehyung’s cock, circling his hand around it to tug at it. Taehyung whimpered,
words forgotten, as the pleasure built in him.

“You will always have me like this,” Jungkook murmured against his ears, “always.”

That was all Taehyung needed to orgasm. Cum hitting his stomach and chest, smearing against
Jungkook’s palm. Jungkook wiped his hand on the dress, pulling Taehyung up to sit on his lap.

Taehyung circled his arms around Jungkook’s shoulder, gasping for air when he felt Jungkook’s
cock lodging deeper in him. Jungkook fucked up in him, kissing him messily on the lips. Their
bodies pressed together and breaths mingled. Taehyung couldn’t help but let out soft mewls of
oversensitivity. He grasped at Jungkook’s nape, pulling him in for kisses.

“Come on, Jungkook,” Taehyung murmured, face contorting when he felt the head of Jungkook’s
cock hitting so deep in him, pulsating almost, “cum in me.”

Jungkook groaned, hands squeezing Taehyung’s ass-cheeks while his hips snapped up in
Taehyung.

“Fill me up,” Taehyung kissed the side of his neck, hot breath against Jungkook’s ear, “fill me up
until I leak. Cum in me, baby. Come on.”

And Jungkook did. With a curse he spurt in Taehyung, smearing his inside with his cum.

Taehyung moaned at the sensation of warm liquid filling him to the brim. His sensitive inner-
muscles convulsed as Jungkook kept spurting ropes of cum.

“If I was a girl, I would be pregnant after this,” Taehyung chuckled, breathless.

Jungkook’s hips snapped instinctively, fucking Taehyung a few times more to smear his semen
against Taehyung’s inner-walls. Taehyung giggled when Jungkook’s dropped him on the bed,
pulling out with a wince to roll out of the bed.

“Say shit like that and watch me drill you 24*7,” Jungkook warned, going to the washroom.

Taehyung wiggled out of the dress, throwing it on the floor before he pulled his legs up to untie the
heels. He was breathing heavily and he could feel cum leaking out of him. Taehyung threw the
heels one by one at Jungkook who emerged from the washroom while holding a wet towel in his
hands.

“I can’t believe you went straight for the bathroom,” Taehyung murmured, letting Jungkook clean
his stomach and between his legs, “how do you not need a few minutes to calm yourself?”

Jungkook shrugged, “this is only the first round,” he threw the towel into the bin with ace before
tugging the messy duvet off the bed and onto the ground, “I am not tired yet.”

Taehyung’s eyes widened when Jungkook laid down beside him, pulling him at his side with a
short laugh.

“Do not touch me again tonight,” Taehyung swatted at his chest, leaning his head against
Jungkook’s arm, “I am sore.”

Jungkook hugged Taehyung to his chest, kissing Taehyung’s forehead, “hmm, we will see.”

Taehyung hid his face against Jungkook’s chest with a small smile and felt Jungkook pull him
closer.

There was silence for a few minutes. Taehyung’s index finger drawing patterns on Jungkook’s
chest and Jungkook’s knuckles caressing his hip, making Taehyung shiver. He looked up when
Jungkook squeezed his ass, a lazy smile on his lips. A pleased hum left Taehyung’s lips when
Jungkook kissed him, slow and tender.

“So are we boyfriends now?” Jungkook asked again, words itched on Taehyung’s lips, breath
ghosting over Taehyung’s skin.

Taehyung sighed, nodding, “I am afraid so.”

Jungkook hummed, “do I get to call you that in front of everyone?”

“Depends,” Taehyung chuckled, “who is everyone to you?”

“Just the hyungs,” Jungkook shrugged, “show them I am dating the sexiest man of the world.”

Taehyung swatted at him, “is that all I am to you?! Just a pretty face?!”

Jungkook hummed, catching Taehyung’s wrist in his grip and kissing the pulse point with a smirk,
“no. Just a pretty ass more likely.”

Taehyung tried to pull away, just to have Jungkook’s arm tighten around him. He glared until
Jungkook was rolling them over, pressing Taehyung down on the mattress and parting his legs.

“Are you serious?!” Taehyung moaned around the whine, feeling Jungkook’s cock against his still
sensitive entrance.

Jungkook grunted, “pass me the lube.”

Taehyung reached out for it, all the while cursing Jungkook.

He was silenced soon with Jungkook’s mouth and Jungkook’s cock back in him.

===&=&===

Jungkook watched Taehyung snore on him, hugging him instead of the pillow, and for a second he
tried to replace Taehyung with Jimin.

His head conjured the image of Jimin, like this, in his arms and Jungkook snorted at the way his
own face scrunched up in discomfort.
He tried to imagine Taehyung like this. With someone else.

Yoongi hyung? He would do for imagination.

Jungkook snorted again, feeling how his arm tightened around Taehyung.

He looked up at the ceiling. Thinking.

He couldn’t believe he took his feelings for Taehyung for granted just to nourish a crush he had on
Jimin. He couldn’t believe he almost gave this up. Jungkook thought back to when he thought he
loved Jimin and tried to think if he ever thought of Jimin in any sexual way.

He didn’t.

Attraction started from physical intimacy and Jungkook had never thought of Jimin this way.

He looked down at Taehyung’s face, passed out from the two more rounds Jungkook pulled him
through. One on his back and another on his hands and knees. Taehyung was out for a few hours
now.

“I just…” Jungkook mumbled, “when I imagined my future, you were always a given.”

Taehyung scrunched up his nose, blinking and whining when Jungkook pulled him in for a kiss.

“Jungkook?” he slurred, whiny from sleep, “what are you mumbling about?”

“I tried to imagine myself with Jimin like this,” Jungkook watched how Taehyung blinked, going
stiff in his hold when he registered what Jungkook had just said, so Jungkook continued before
Taehyung misunderstood, “and… it’s weird how I never thought of him like this.”

“What are you saying?” Taehyung tried to pull away, blinking back sleep, “what?”

Jungkook didn’t let him pull back, he just tightened his arm around Taehyung, “you know, when I
thought I loved him, all I imagined doing with him was taking him out on a movie or
choreographing a duet song together or how I wanted to just be the best like him. It was…” he
looked down at Taehyung who was very much awake now, “it was like I looked up to him, you
know? He was this blinding presence. He still is but, that was all? Adoration? Complete adoration.
His stage presence. His boldness. His aura. I loved it all and now that I see it, it was more like, I
wanted to be like him. I didn’t ‘want’ him. I never,” Jungkook looked at Taehyung’s doubtful eyes,
“wanted him like that. I never felt the need to have him in my arms like I did with you. I never
looked at him and thought about fucking him senseless into the mattress,” he grinned at Taehyung
when Taehyung’s eyes widened, “yeah, every time I saw you nowadays,” he laughed when
Taehyung swatted at him, “I never felt this raw need to be with him so intimately. I never saw my
everyday life with him. I have future plans, Tae, and all those future plans I did in my head, you
were a given.”

“A given?” Taehyung sounded tentative, large eyes staring at Jungkook’s face.

Jungkook nodded, “yeah, like… you were always there. Present. Like… I wanted to take him to
Japan but I was sure you will be there without me asking. Because… why won’t you? I was going,
you will too. I wanted to choreograph a duet for us and it was a given that you will watch it and
love it. I wanted to take him to movies and I kept thinking Tae will come along because that’s… so
obvious. You come with me. You are a given. If there’s Jungkook, there will be Taehyung. In my
mind, you are attached to me. You know?”
Taehyung just stared.

Jungkook knew he wasn’t making sense. But he had to say it all. He had to clear his heart out to
Taehyung and he knew he would not be able to do it under broad daylight. It had to be then and
there.

“Then when I realized, that no, you are not a given, you can fade away, it scared me shitless,”
Jungkook’s palm spread on Taehyung’s lower back, possessive and vulnerable, “when I realized it
was either you or Jimin, the choice was already made. It was you. It had to be you. Because you
are not a choice to me. You are my conclusion,” Jungkook murmured, voice thick with emotion,
“you are not a path. You are the companion who walks with me on whichever path I choose. You
are given like breathing to me because that’s how loving you is to me. Breathing. I might forget to
acknowledge it but it’s a constant. It’s the sole reason I am alive. I never realized how much I
wanted you until you were gone, like someone was choking me and taking away my freedom of
breathing. I realized how much I ‘want’ you. I never looked at Jimin and felt the need to have him
in my arms but when you went out of my reach, that’s all I could think about. When I thought I will
never have Jimin, in that hotel room of Japan, I was sad. Yes. But when you stopped whatever we
had going on, it killed me. Every day. It was like, I was angry that you are taking away what
should be mine. I am still that jealous boy underneath all this façade, Tae, I was angry that you
refused me. I was scared that I might never have you like that again. So close, so intimate, so…”
Jungkook cupped Taehyung’s face to look at him properly, “so mine.”

Taehyung looked away, down at Jungkook’s chest. Jungkook breathed out a soft chuckle.

“I would stay up every night thinking I would never have you like this again and I can’t count the
nights I kept comparing myself to all the options you possibly have,” Jungkook looked at the
ceiling, “I don’t know how to say this, but, I love you, Taehyung. With everything I have. I might
not be able to express it right. But…” he entangled their hands together, watching their fingers slot
together in a fist, “but you once taught me how to come out of my shell. You once accepted my
awkward self and moulded it into the Jungkook everyone loves now. So, do that again.”

Taehyung looked at him, eyes glossy. Jungkook’s throat bobbed as he nodded. His own eyes
stinging.

“Teach me how to tell you, in fancy words, that my world is built around you and I love you. Teach
me, like you once taught me how to be myself around everyone, how to tell you that you are my
constant. Tae,” he wiped at Taehyung’s eyes as tears rolled out, “teach this Jungkook how to be
best at making you believe he loves you. Because he does. He might not know fancy words to
make you believe it but it’s you,” Jungkook sniffled, feeling Taehyung’s tears on his chest, “it has
always been you.”

Taehyung whimpered, hiding his face against Jungkook’s chest, “I don’t need fancy words,
Jungkook, I will live my entire life listening to you try and come up with awkward phases to assure
me that you love me. I will love to listen to you like this. Every night. I didn’t pull you out of your
shell, I just saw the real you and I will spend the rest of my life seeing it in you. We will make it
work. Okay?”

Jungkook whimpered around laugh, nodding, “we might need our whole lives for that. Is that
okay?”

Taehyung nodded in earnest, “that’s so okay.”

Jungkook hugged him then, arms tight around Taehyung and face buried in Taehyung’s neck.
“Oh, and, Jungkook?” Taehyung pulled back a little to look at Jungkook’s face, “next time, let’s
not bring up Jimin after we just fucked, yeah?”

Jungkook burst out a laugh, nodding, “I will work on it.”

“Good,” Taehyung nodded too, “that’s good. I love him with my everything but I would rather not
feel my boyfriend’s cum dribbling out of me and have a vision of his face. No.”

Jungkook whined, “that’s… gross and I kind believe, sexy at the same time!”

Taehyung yelped when Jungkook pulled him on top of Jungkook’s chest, hand reaching down to
trace the puckering hole. Taehyung let out a whine, dropping his head against Jungkook’s chest.
His arms clutching onto Jungkook.

“You are moist,” Jungkook observed, feeling his abdomen swirl with desire, dick twitching, as he
pushed a finger into the wet heat of Taehyung’s rear. Taehyung let out a whimper, lips parted
against Jungkook’s skin.

Jungkook fucked the finger in and out of him, feeling the way his dick started filling up. Taehyung
felt it too.

“Is this how it will be from now on?” Taehyung asked between small gasps of air while Jungkook
added two more fingers, “you fucking me throughout the night?”

Jungkook smirked, nodding, “I think so.”

Taehyung let Jungkook arrange him then. Finding himself again on his back.

“You like the missionary position best, huh?” Taehyung asked, arms looping around Jungkook’s
neck, “boring.”

Jungkook readied himself, brushing the tip against Taehyung’s rim before pushing in with a grunt.
Taehyung tipped his head back, mouth falling open. Too tired to actually make a noise.

The binds were shut but Jungkook could see the soft light of the dawn painting shadows on the
blinds. He looked down at Taehyung’s face. The room illuminated in soft glow and Taehyung
illuminated on his own. Jungkook leaned down to kiss him, humming against his lips.

“I want to see you,” he whispered, thrust punctuating his words, “when I am in you. I want to see
how you love it. Love me.”

Taehyung’s eyes opened and his teeth pressed down on his lower lip as he smiled, “good
morning…” there was a sort pause where Jungkook held himself still, before Taehyung pulled him
down, “darling.”

Jungkook dropped on his elbows.

===&=&===

“When I wrote this song, I was in a hard place,” Taehyung speaks into the mic, “I was going
through a lot of stuff,” he chuckles, looking out at the crowd, “I remember not being able to fall
asleep until I was exhausted and tiredness would drag me down to unconsciousness,” the crowd
whine for him, making him squint at them through the lights, “but… for a past few months, I am
doing better,” he smiles at the blurry figures, “I am starting to find myself again and I am starting
to reconnect with the Taehyung I knew and it’s all,” he twirls as if to greet their audience around
the stage, but discreetly he finds Jungkook at the other end of the stage, looking at him, “because
of you.”

Jungkook grins, tipping his head down to hide his blush.

Taehyung giggles, feeling the butterflies in his stomach, seeing the boys grinning at him while the
fans scream on their own.

Taehyung stands in the middle of the stage of their home ground, looking out at the vast audience
as he holds the mic closer to his lips, “I love you,” he sees from the corner of his eyes when
Jungkook’s head snaps up to look at him, “thank you for being my companion and my emotional
support. Thank you for loving me so dearly and making me believe in myself again when I was
losing it,” the fans cheer, loud and supportive as ever, “lastly,” he turns, going over to the corner
where Jungkook is standing to stand beside him, the cheers intensifying, “thank you for giving the
last few lines of the song a new meaning,” he looks at Jungkook in the eyes, “I am smiling and
yeah, I promised to tell you all when I laugh from my heart again. So…” he grins at the camera,
grasping Jungkook’s hand and holding out the other for the boys to come and join him in the final
bow, “thank you for helping me find myself and making me believe in myself again. I love you.
Loving you is Blue & Grey,” Taehyung whispers in the mic, “I loved you in my saddest form and I
will continue to do so, even in my happiest form, because you bring happiness and colours in my
life and I am too scared to let go of you.”

They bow in front of the cheering crowd and then the boys pull them in a group hug.

The lights dim, drowning them in shadows.

Taehyung finds himself in the middle of the group hug with Jungkook standing right in front of him
and there’s this moment.

A moment of silence where their eyes just meet each other and then they kiss.

In the middle of the stage, in front of the cheering crowd, knowing the boys will shield them.

Knowing the boys will hide them and knowing they will kiss even if there wasn’t anyone standing
to guard them.

Because they don’t care. They really don’t care who sees or who don’t.

They don’t need anyone’s approval. They just need each other and they know they have each other
and that’s enough.

In that moment, they are Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung from BTS who love each other
immensely and they have to celebrate that love.

Even if it’s just for a second.

Even if it’s just in the shadows.

Even if it’s in front of just five people or behind the closed doors.

They have to celebrate their love with the ones who love them. With the acknowledgement that,
they found love in each other.
 “I love you,” Jungkook presses those words against Taehyung’s lips, mic turned off and eyes
lighting up with stars Taehyung always sees in them, “so much.”

Taehyung nods, squeezing Jungkook’s palms in his, “I know,” because of course he knows, now…
he knows, “I love you too.”

They pull back when the lights come on and wave at the audience before running off. Hand in
hand.

Their story continues, starts actually, after the curtains drop but the audience don’t need to witness
it.

It’s for the two of them.

Just for the two of them.

Who fills each other with the colours of their love.

Every day.

Every moment.

Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook.

===&=&===

Chapter End Notes

This story was like a safe escapade for me. I wrote this when I was feeling really down
one day and had to let go of that feeling in some way. I wrote this then and since then,
this is my safe place. This story.

I never thought so many of you would read this and like it. That's an added bonus.

Now that it's ending/ended, I am afraid that I might never write something this
satisfying again, and I might never see some of you in my comments again. Yes, I
know my daily readers, I know you all by name and I will miss you all if you decide to
not read my other stories. It's okay but I will miss you all.
Thank you so much for reading this story and showering so much love on it. I really
appreciate it all so much.

If you want, you can read 'Recherché,' I will update it after this one. x

You can follow me on TWITTER so you know when I post something new.

→ A PLAYLIST for the story ←

Lastly, thank you, I love you all so much.

End Notes
End Notes

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