Lecture 8

How to Live in Relationship

Eightfold Path (अ ांग माग)
A few Traditional Formulations for Right Understanding and Right Feeling

So far we have seen that for continuity of happiness, it is essential to

ensure:
1. Right understanding in the Self
2. Right feeling and right thought in the Self – and on that basis ensure
fulfilment in relationship
3. In the context of physical facility – recognise the need, ensure more than
required, make right utilisation of it – leading to a feeling of prosperity

The next question is how to go about it

In tradition, many ways to achieve this have been articulated

In this course, we will study four of these formulations:
1. Noble Eightfold Path
2. Yam-Niyam (first two of Ashtang Yog)
3. Dharm-Arth-Kaam-Moksha
4. Non Accumulation – Affection – Knowledge – Simplicity - Fearlessness
2
Noble Eight Fold Path
1. Right View
2. Right Resolve
3. Right Speech
4. Right Action
5. Right Livelihood
6. Right Effort
7. Right Mindfulness/ Awareness
8. Right Vision/ Meditation

3
1. Right View (स यक )
Before accepting anything as our goal, we evaluate it

It is essential to have the ability to recognise our goal. In other words, our view has
to be minimally right to make the right evaluation for recognising our goal:
 We should be able to recognise that which leads to happiness as a source of happiness
 We should be able to recognise that which leads to unhappiness as a source of
unhappiness

Today, quite often we expect happiness from things which are a source of
unhappiness
E.g. exploiting the other and assuming that it will lead to happiness
E.g. Committing corruption or robbery and assuming it will lead to fulfilment

We can see that for such desires/expectations (which are not aligned with reality):
 We are unhappy when we are thinking about it
 We are unhappy while doing it
 We are unhappy with the result/outcome

Complete alignment of our view/vision (with reality) is knowledge

4
2. Right Resolve (स यक संक प )
Our external expression in living is first decided within

So,
 If our decision is correct (for harmony, aligned to reality), then our
external expression is right (mutually fulfilling)
 if our decision is incorrect (not aligned to reality), then our external
expression is also not right (not fulfilling)

At the root of our behaviour, work, livelihood are our decisions within.
For our decisions to be right, we have to have the right resolve

Right resolve refers to all those decisions which we intend to express or

execute in mutual relationship

5
3. Right Speech (स यक वचन )
To be able to say the right things in the right manner

Our speech (what we say) is right and the manner it is said is also right

It is necessary to that we speak the truth and the way of speaking is

also right (appealing)

Absence of right speech: speaking untruth, hurting by using harsh

words, criticising, gossiping, fruitless conversation…

Thus: for our behaviour to be right, it is essential that our speech is right
and our expressions are appealing. The most significant part of
behaviour is right speech
6
4. Right Action (स यक कमात )
Karmant = Final part of action

E.g. Expression in behaviour – action through Body

Behaviour  Choice by thought  Decision in Understanding

Speech, Body Mental
Action Action
Karmant

Karmant is highlighting the point that the rest of the action is over, but it
is essential to correct even the last part (behaviour, intake-routine)

In the absence of right karmant – murder, theft, adultery, alcohol and

drug use

7
5. Right Livelihood (स यक आजी वका)
It is essential for our production processes to be correct

The manner in which we fulfil our physical needs and the manner in
which we fulfil the physical needs of our family also have to be right

Basic Guidelines
Human Friendly – at least not exploiting human beings
Eco Friendly – at least not exploiting rest of nature

Therefore it is essential to have the right mindset

Free from ego while sharing, giving charity

In the absence of right livelihood – exploitation/harm to others (e.g.

selling drugs, manufacturing weapons), contributing to disturbance of
others
8
6. Right Effort (स यक ययाम )
Making effort for harmony

1. To make effort for understanding harmony, learning skills for living in

harmony and living (doing) in harmony
2. To cleanse/purify ones sanskars which are not in harmony

Right View/ Vision

Right Resolve
Right Speech
Right Action
Right Livelihood

Primarily for a healthy Self

 To nurture existing good qualities; and acquiring new good qualities
 To purify oneself of existing bad qualities; and not acquiring new bad
qualities

9
7. Right Mindfulness/ Awareness ( स यक मृित )
Continuous awareness
(not a matter of remembering something)

Continuous awareness – about oneself, about the activities of the Self

Now, the next question is “have we achieved all there is to achieve (this
is our final achievement) or there is something more to achieve”?

Ultimately, we want to understand, to see everything as it is with clarity,

without distortion

The steps discussed so far, are not the final achievement – they are just
the steps

The goal or final achievement is realisation, knowledge

10
8. Right Vision/ Meditation (स यक समािध/ यान)
Achievement – realisation, knowledge

Awareness = self-study, practice

Samadhi = the ultimate state of awareness in which we can see the

reality as it is

In this state the Self is purified and focussed

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Noble Eight Fold Path
1. Right View Able to recognise that which leads to happiness as a
source of happiness and able to recognise that which leads to unhappiness
as a source of unhappiness

2. Right Resolve Right decisions

3. Right Speech able to say the right things in the right manner

4. Right Action Right behaviour (mutual happiness)

5. Right Livelihood Human-friendly and eco-friendly production

6. Right Effort Effort for right understanding & purification of sanskar

7. Right Mindfulness/ Awareness (every moment) continuous awareness

8. Right Vision/ Meditation self-study, self-exploration, practice 

to see reality as it is

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अ ांग माग (Noble Eight Fold Path)
1. स यक (Right View/ Vision)
ा
2. स यक संक प (Right Resolve) Wisdom/ Knowledge
3. स यक वचन (Right Speech)
4. स यक कमात (शार रक कम) (Right Action) शील
5. स यक आजी वका (Right Livelihood) Moral Values

6. स यक ययाम (प र म) (Right Effort)

7. स यक मृित (Right Mindfulness/ Awareness) समािध
8. स यक समािध/ यान (Right Concentration/ Meditation) Meditation

ा
Wisdom/ Knowledge

शील समािध
Moral Values Meditation

13
Noble Eight Fold Path
1. Right View/ Vision
Wisdom/ Knowledge
2. Right Resolve
3. Right Speech
4. Right Action Moral Values
5. Right Livelihood
6. Right Effort
7. Right Mindfulness/ Awareness Meditation
8. Right Concentration/ Meditation

Wisdom/ Knowledge

Moral Values Meditation

14
Wisdom
Knowledge based on listening Belief-centric
Believing the realisation of another out of reading, listening to the other

Reasoning based Knowledge Logic-centric

Conclusions derived out of reflection based on logical reasoning of
reading, listening to the realisation of another

Knowledge based on right feeling (Wisdom) Realisation-centric

Self-realisation of existential realities

Belief-centric and logic-centric knowledge is useful to reach to

realisation (Wisdom)
Realisation-centric knowledge only can lead to complete satisfaction
15
 Lecture 9

How to Live in Relationship

Yam-Niyam
Introduction
Another formulation of living in relationship is based on Yama (Ensuring
harmony in relationship) and Niyamas (Ensuring harmony within) as
articulated in Patanjali's Yoga Sutra

One of the significant observations is that when we discuss or practice

these Yama or Niyamas, it has an impact on our behaviour in
relationship

When we ensure these at the level of thought, then it helps not only at
the level of behaviour, but also at the level of developing right thought
which further helps us in developing right understanding and feeling

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The Second formulation of Living in Relationship
In the context of being self-organised, in harmony within
Niyamas (Ensuring harmony within)
Purity, contentment, self-discipline, self-study, contemplation

In the context of living in a harmonious relationship

Yamas (Ensuring harmony in relationship)
Non-violence, Truthfulness, Non-stealing,
Chastity, Non-possessiveness

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 Yam
(Ensuring harmony in relationship)
Yam (Ensuring harmony in relationship)

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Non-violence (अ हं सा)
Not hurting anyone

Not hurting others at the level of body

“ “ “ by speech, words
“ “ “ at the level of mind

Minimum not hurting

Maximum living affectionately with all- love

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Truthfulness (स य)
To be able to express the reality or events as is, without giving any
colour to it from one’s own side

Different people would have understood the reality to varying extents;

and their descriptions of events may also vary. What is significant is
their intention to understand the truth and live by the truth; so if they are
living faithfully to the extent they have understood, seen, then they are
living with truthfulness

The important point is that we are trying to express things as they are
even though there may be differences in our perspective

We are able to live by these 5 yamas (Ensuring harmony in relationship)

only to the extent we have understood, seen the reality correctly (as it
is)

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Not-stealing (अ तेय)
Not claiming ownership to things belonging to other, not taking away
things of the other, not stealing

Using only those things that one has produced or earned; to feel ones
right only on such things

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Right use of senses ( चय)
Right use of senses and the body on the basis of right understanding

Understanding the basic laws, principles associated with sensation and

on the basis of this ensuring self-regulation and right use of sensation

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 Non-possession (अप र ह)
)
The tendency of possessiveness begins when we start assuming the
right on another person or things of others’ as our own

Non-possession is about not accumulating things that are unessential

When we do not accumulate unnecessary things, the things are

available for use in the society for everyone

We are able to develop the mindset of non-possession only when we

have developed the tendency for right utilisation; and sharing that which
remains after right utilisation

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5 Yamas (Ensuring harmony in relationship)
Truthfulness purification of speech, words

Non-violence purification of body, speech and mind

Non-stealing and able to make right utilisation of things, share

non-possessiveness things, acquire wealth by way of production or
ensuring necessary services in the society
through one’s labour, thus, live rightfully
Chastity able to make effort to free oneself from
assumption that happiness can be ensured
through sensation, so that the imagination can
be directed toward right thought, right feeling
and ultimately, the right knowledge and
leads to realisation

purification at the level of body, speech and mind, over and above ensuring right behaviour
and conduct with the world outside
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Anuvrat (Vows of Limited Nature)
Vows of Limited Nature (Anuvrat)
These five (Non-violence, Truthfulness, Non-stealing, Chastity, Non-
possessiveness) are also called Anuvrats or vows of limited nature

Anu = Small, Limited

Vrat = right choice = Making choice for doing right thing, and
Commitment, eagerness to do it

When we follow these vows in certain places, certain times and with
some people, it is called anuvrat

Maha = Big

When we follow these vows in all places, at all times and with all people,
it is called mahavrat

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 Forgiveness ( मा)
Patience = Resolutely living in harmony, with perseverance
Forgiveness = Ensuring that there is patience within and no bitterness,
ill-feeling towards the other

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Fortitude (धृित)
Fortitude = Right, appropriate behaviour even in adverse
states/situations

Bravity, bravery is an expression if it

30
Compassion (दया)
Maximum help to the other in relationship

Non-violence is the minimum help in relationship

31
Non-hypocrisy/ Sincerity (आजव)
Living with sincerity, simplicity
Free from pride, ego

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Measured Diet (िमताहार )
Right intake, appropriate diet
 Appropriate for the health of the body
 Appropriate for behaviour in relationship
 Appropriate for being active without being lethargic, lazy

33
Achievement
By following these principles, our interaction with others becomes
harmonious

Along with this, the work of purification at the level of body, speech and
mind, starts through its practice

34
 Niyam
(Ensuring Harmony Within)
Purity (शौच)
Purity at the level of body and also at the level of the mind

Purity at the level of body – cleanliness

Purity at the level of mind – being free from mental disorders, ensuring right
mental qualities

Try to observe:
 Impurities at the level of the body are a cause of health problems as well as
unhappiness
 Impurities at the level of the mind are a cause of unhappiness

36
Contentment (संतोष)
Contentment is about being able to correctly recognise one’s need for
physical facility and living in harmony with that much

The mindset of living in harmony with the physical facility available to us

The physical facility belonging to the other does not become a reason
for our greed – thus, not taking us towards jealousy.
We are freed from problems like corruption, theft etc. because these are
due to absence of contentment
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Self-discipline (तप)
Able to practice and live in harmony on one’s own right

The environment does not influence one living with self-discipline

We live the way we want to live (in harmony, in a mutually fulfilling way)
Not any arbitrary way

In the absence of self-discipline:

 The environment influences us – and we get pulled and pushed into it
– mentally, in words and in body!
 We get attracted toward favourable sensations

38
Self-Reflection ( वा याय)
The gross part of self-reflection has to do with reading books about
basic, natural laws, principles that can be helpful in understanding
harmony and living in a self-disciplined manner.

These are helpful for self-introspection, self-reflection of our thoughts,

behaviour – to get an idea about how much is in harmony and how
much is otherwise within

39
Contemplation on the True Self (ई र- णधान)
Contemplation of the Ishvar

Ishvar = Symbol of the most expanded humane properties and humane

conduct

It is not important that Ishvar exists or not; what is significant is whether

we are able to contemplate on that feeling and thought or not

Our feeling and thought is set right through continuous contemplation. It

is appropriate to use any dedication endowed with human properties,
thought. It can be helpful in two ways:
 Developing our feeling and thought
 Slowly transforming our feeling and thought in tune with that form
representing those qualities

40
Conclusion
These 5 laws primarily have to do with being in harmony within
By following these laws, our feeling and thought is slowly set right – and
we are able to work more harmoniously

Ultimately, we are able to follow the yamas (Ensuring harmony in

relationship) and niyamas (Ensuring harmony within) consistently only
when we have reached to that level of understanding

When we are making effort for it, we are able to achieve up to a certain
level

As and when our commitment and willingness becomes deeper, we

make all necessary effort to ensure it within, i.e. at the level of our
feeling, thought and ultimately at the level of understanding

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 Lecture 10

How to Live in Relationship

Wealth, Wishes (Desires), Natural Laws,
Liberation
Human Goal
 Wealth
 Wishes (Fulfilment of)
 Right understanding of natural laws
 Liberation

Right order in which effort is to be made:

1. Ensuring right understanding of natural laws, at least the though of it
2. Ensuring rightfully earned wealth
3. Fulfilment of wishes (desires)
4. Effort for liberation
In essence,
In accordance with right understanding of natural laws, ensuring
rightfully earned wealth and fulfilment of wishes, ultimately, making
effort for liberation
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Wealth
Physical facility

Natural Resources
+ Production  Physical Facility
Mind and Body

Wealth (rightfully earned, in accordance with right understanding of

natural laws)

Achievements of production which is in line with physical (natural) laws

1. Physical facility
2. Fulfilment of ones physical needs as well as fulfilment of the physical
needs of others

44
Wishes
Fulfilment of wishes

Fulfilment of wishes along with understanding of natural laws + wealth

Of oneself
Of the society (of the family… whole humanity)
Of the social order (system)

45
Living with understanding of Natural Laws
The laws of living in relationship and order
The laws related to order in society and entire nature

Living in relationship and order with understanding of natural laws

Existential laws  by understanding relationship and harmony

Living in accordance with behavioural/societal laws and physical laws

It is to be noted that these behavioural/societal laws and physical laws are

existential in nature – not developed in any arbitrary manner by human beings
The existence is governed by existential laws; nature by natural, physical,
behavioural/societal laws – depending on how much of these laws have been
understood, these laws may be articulated in words, in a specific language in a
certain manner by human beings

Resolution is having clarity of thought regarding living with understanding of

natural laws
46
Liberation
To see the existence clearly
To see reality as it is
To be rid of all types of bondages which are essential caused by
misunderstandings, confusions

Living with understanding of Natural Laws + Wealth + fulfilment of

Wishes Liberation

47
Process/ Steps
Step 1
To transform the entire negativity into positivity – this is the first major
shift

Step 2
Then to be stable in the positivity, so that our all imagination is about the
meaningful (even the imagination that may have been about negativity
in unawareness) – Then our imagination is wholely about relationship
and harmony

Step 3
Only then, we can make effort for detachment / non-attachment from the
over-evaluation of physical facility and sensation

First two are the initial or intermediate steps. One in millions, is said to
be able to go beyond – as mostly people get entangled with indulgence
to sensation
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 Lecture 11

How to Live in Relationship

असं ह, नेह, व ा, सरलता, अभय
Introduction
The central idea or theme of all the formulations we have discussed is:

Living in relationship conducive, helpful environment

Effort to self-organise activities of the Self

For developing right understanding, knowledge, for awakening

The next formulation of living in relationship, of living as a society is:

Non-possessiveness, affection, knowledge, simplicity and fearlessness

50
असं ह (non-possessiveness)
Non-accumulation, avoiding accumulation
Ensuring required physical things, its right utilisation
Only the things required, and only in the required quantity are brought
home
Three basic advantages of non-possessiveness:
1. We are able to fulfil our needs by way of right utilisation
2. Things are available for use by others in the society
3. Preservation and enrichment of natural resources

Non-possessiveness does not mean that we do not use things. It means

that we use things in the right sense, rather than to misuse them
Even if we are not over-using things, not indulging in their use, and just
accumulating things, then these things are not available for use by
others in the society
It is natural for physical things to slowly deteriorate

51
 नेह (Affection)
To be able to accept the other as being related, interrelated,
interconnected, interdependent and to live with the feeling of
relationship

We are able to see that the other also has the same needs as me;
Needs of physical things as well as of feelings

The other is also committed and making effort for fulfilling his needs, just
like I am
The other also feels uncomfortable and unhappy when there is a lack of
fulfilment, just like me
To the extent possible, we try to fulfil our needs as well as the needs of
the other

52
व ा (Knowledge/ Right Understanding)
Right understanding, feeling and thought

Basis
of right understanding, feeling and thought

Conducive environment
by living with non-possessiveness and affection

53
सरलता (Simplicity)
Being rid of all types of pride and ego

Indicators:
1. Feeling of natural comfort, fulfilment within
2. Naturally fulfilling behaviour in relationship in which there is no
excitement, pride or ego

54
अभय (Fearlessness)
Non-possessiveness, affection, knowledge, simplicity

Natural outcome

Being free from fear within + others are not afraid of me

 Fear of losing ones’ life
 Fear of losing ones’ position
 Fear of losing ones’ respect
 Fear of losing ones’ wealth

We have a continuous feeling of assurance about the existence when,

on the basis of continuous self-awareness, we are able to see that there
is nothing in this existence to loose as
 Formation-deformation in going on in the material world
 The world of consciousness is not governed by this
 Whatever is really required for any unit, is always available in existence, in
nature, there is no shortage of it
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Behavioural Laws
Friendliness with the happy
Compassion with the unhappy
Joy with the good
Equanimity/ Normal state with the sinful

Friendliness = feeling of living together in relationship and harmony

Compassion = feeling of empathy and being helpful to others
Joy = to feel happy being with righteous people and to take inspiration
from them
Equanimity/ Normal state = Free from hatred, unperturbed by evil in
others

56
Lecture 12

Culture
Introduction
Sanskar – Understanding or Assumptions based

Culture – The collective thought

Civilisation – Expression in the form of behaviour

Over the ages, various cultures and civilisations have taken shape. At
the core of the civilisation is its culture; and the base of the culture is
what has been understood or assumed (without understanding) about
the existential reality i.e. truth, love and compassion

A civilisation is the expression of a culture in the form of behaviour. In

order to share our understanding, feelings and thoughts, various means
of communication have been used such as – language, literature, song,
dance, drama, painting, sculpture…

58
The Expressions can be in Various Forms
Modes of communication
 Language
 Literature
 Dance
 Song
 Music
 Drama
 Painting
 Sculpture…

Life style
 Social life – cultural festivals…
 Work life – Production Processes…

Systems of Production
 Food
 Clothes – weaving…
 Buildings – architecture…
 Machinery for above
 Gadgets, instruments…

59
Culture
The key goal of culture is the development of right sanskars (mindset) of
each and every individual; development of right feeling and thought
The aim of every culture, every cultural function is the development of
right sanskar, the acceptances, the feeling and thought of everyone
The basic efforts in any culture are:
1. They organise various events that have an impact on people’s
feelings and thought process. E.g. Events like musical programs,
dance performances, skits, plays and dramas, effective speeches
and lectures play a significant role in influencing the feelings,
thoughts and acceptances of most people in any society. Such role
models, incidents, programs leave deep impressions on our
sanskar
2. They also organise gatherings at various significant stages of life,
life events to inculcate acceptances that would be helpful toward
self-development and self-realisation; to develop the competence
required in fulfilling roles to be taken up in future, in further stages
of life. These life events are called sanskar-processes at societal
level
60
Collective Programs
3 Types
1. Verbal communication
2. Audio-visual (or multi-media) communication
3. Publication

61
1. Verbal and 2. Audio-visual Communication
1. Verbal communication
Speech is primarily used in this type of communication
e.g. discussions, lectures, radio programs

2. Audio-visual communication
In this type of communication, sight is used in addition to speech
e.g. lecture with slides, TV programs, movies, documentaries

62
Live and Recorded
Verbal and Audio-visual Communication today are both live as well as
recorded. E.g. Radio and TV programs are generally live and recorded/
replayed, whereas movies are generally recorded/ replayed.

Live
This has to be synchronous, i.e. the performance and the audience
have to be present at the same time
With the ability to transmit in real-time, the performance and audience
need not be in the same place

Recorded
Verbal (audio) or audio-visual performances that are recorded can be
curated, stored, transmitted to various places and replayed.
Equipments and instuments required for this purpose are necessary to
ensure this. Of course, we need to develop the necessary science and
technology for this purpose at the background

63
Verbal and Audio-visual Communication
Various forms of audio visual communication has a whole range of
possibilities like dance, music, skits, plays, dramas, humour, movies,
documentaries and so on

All channels are used for verbal and audio-visual communication- live or
recorded

64
3. Publication
The third means of communication is publication through various media

Presently, there are three predominant media:

1. Newspapers, magazines
2. Literature, books (printed)
3. Internet

In communication and publication, the language, words have primacy.

In audio-visual (multi-media) communication, the ears as well as the

eyes are used – to hear the words and to see the form. In multi-media
communication, other senses may also be involved

Relevance of literature and libraries

In all these, there are some overlaps

65
Relationship between Sanskar and Communication & Publication
Sanskar – understanding or assumption based

Verbal, audio-visual communication, publication

These three modes of sharing play a major role in our sanskar – for good or for
worse
 The sanskar can become better to the extent the impressions are about
humanness, harmony
 If the impressions are about inhumanity, the sanskar can worsen
The feeling and thought is dependent on the state of sanskar

One important observation is that for an impression to be made on the sanskar,

the communication and publication, to begin with, has to be pleasing to the
senses
So, if the content of these is related to justice, harmony and co-existence and if
is served in a pleasant manner, in a manner pleasing to the senses, then the
impressions can be made for developing human sanskars
66
 Lecture 13

Sanskaar Ceremony
Introduction
So far, we have been discussing development at the individual level:
1. Development of right understanding, right feeling and right thought
2. Purification of accumulated sanskar

Now we will look into how the collective level (family, society) can be of
help to the development:
1. In the individual and
2. In the collective – in the form of culture and its expression in the form of
civilisation

68
Sanskar (at the individual level)
Sanskar =
Acceptances derived out of ∑ [ Desire + Thought + Expectation ]
from all time

Presently, it is likely to be a mixture of:

 Understanding of the human reality, of the universal, invariant existential
laws / principles
 Conclusions drawn from life events / experiences, which may or may not be
in line with the existential laws / principles

“What I Am” is largely our sanskar

Our perspective is a part of our sanskar
Our tendencies, habits, likes-dislikes are also a part of our sanskar

69
Updating of Sanskar
Sanskar =
Acceptances derived out of ∑ [ Desire + Thought + Expectation ]
from all time

Presently, it is likely to be a mixture of :

 Understanding of the human reality, of the universal, invariant existential
laws / principles
 Conclusions drawn from life events / experiences, which may or may not be
in line with the existential laws / principles

Sanskar is updated over time:

Sanskar (t+1) = Sanskar (t) + Environment (t) + Self-exploration (t)

As we self-explore, verify and understand, our sanskar gets updated

Environment – The culture and civilisation

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Self-evolution Human
Consciousness

• Living on the basis of knowing

• Happiness by being in harmony within
Self-exploration and harmony in all aspects of being
Self-verification • Acceptance of relationship – from one
to many, to all [HAPPINESS]
• Identifying need, production, right
utilisation of physical facility
[PROSPERITY]
• Participation in larger order, expanding
harmony [SOCIETAL DEVELOPMENT]

Transformation / Development

• Living on the basis of assuming (without knowing)

• Happiness from outside (through feeling from the
other, sensual pleasure and physical facility)
• Domination and opposition in relationship
[UNHAPPINESS]
• Exploitation and indulgence [DEPRIVATION]
Animal • Exploitation in larger order, increasing disorder
Consciousness [DEGRADING SOCIETY]
71
Updating sanskars (at societal level)- thru Ceremonies at Various Life-events (Culture)

These have two basic goals:

1. To develop our sanskar further from where we are now
2. To develop the commitment and competence for the roles we are about to play

With that, various sects have different rituals to transfer their way of thinking, their
world-view to the next generation.

Examples of various event-sanskars

1. Gestation ceremony
2. Birth ceremony
3. Naming ceremony
4. Birthday ceremony
5. Education ceremony
6. Initiation ceremony (after completion of education)
7. Profession ceremony (at start of work)
8. Marriage ceremony
9. Death ceremony

Helpful tools – Radio, TV, internet

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Gestation Ceremony
Ceremony for a to-be father and mother (to-be parents)

To remind the parents (and the extended family) of their responsibility to

make available a conducive environment for the child, starting with the
time it is in the womb. A conducive environment for the child’s sanskar
to be pure/purified

Basic requirements:
1. The health of the Body of the parents
2. The conduct of the parents
3. Feeling and thought of harmony in the parents and the family
This will prepare an environment for development of rght sanskars in the
child

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Birth Ceremony
To ensure a conducive environment at the time of birth

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Naming Ceremony
This ceremony is about naming a child. A name is essential to address
the child

If the name is meaningful, attention keeps getting drawn to that

meaningful thing and other related meaningful things

75
Birthday Ceremony
This ceremony is to draw attention to human purpose, the role of one’s
sanskar- its present status and how we are going to take further in time
to come

Example of a birthday ceremony:

1. The target state of one’s sanskar
2. The present state of one’s sanskar
3. Celebrate the development of one’s sanskar from last year to this
year
4. Make commitment for the work remaining to be done on one’s
sanskar
5. The family, friends and members of the society make commitment to
be of help in one’s development

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Education, Initiation Ceremony
The education ceremony is at the beginning of formal education, reminding one
of the role of the student – to make effort for right understanding
The initiation ceremony, conducted at the end of formal education, draws
attention toward right living on the basis of right understanding

The education ceremony draws attention toward the various activities required
to develop right understanding and the initiation ceremony toward living on the
basis of right understanding

While in an education institution, the main focus is on developing right

understanding (more than on living with right understanding), though it is a part
of the discipline of the educational institution

After leaving the education institution, one has to live on ones own right; the
understanding and commitment to live with understanding one has developed
during education becomes the basis of one’s living. Thus, at this stage, the
initiation ceremony to remind of this commitment to live with understanding,
sbecomes primary

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Profession Ceremony
In this ceremony, attention is drawn toward the various aspects to be
kept in mind while choosing a profession for ensuring the prosperity of
the family

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Marriage Ceremony
In this ceremony, all those things necessary to live in harmony as a
householder are reiterated for the couple to reflect on and make
commitment for them

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Death Ceremony
The purpose of this ceremony:
1. To be free of the pain at the time of death
2. To become free of the sanskars related to our likes-dislikes
3. To remind the self of its on-going journey thru development of
sanskar- continuing with good sanskars and getting rid of the bad
sanskars

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Lecture 14

Civilasation
Civilisation
Sanskar individual level acceptances

Culture Related to way of thinking at the individual as well as

collective level

Civilisation Related to behaviour at the individual as well as

collective level

The decisions regarding behaviour, regarding what to do and what not to do are
a matter of thought, of culture. However, the practical execution of these, can
be seen in the behaviour, the civilisation

In general the main part of civilisation is in the form of behaviour. Supporting

this are the intake (food etc.), routine, clothing, architecture

How these are planned or designed can also be included as part of the
civilisation, when looking at civilisation a bit more broadly

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Example: Design – indicator of civilisation
If production being done in the family, then the behaviour, interactions
are a natural part of it. However, if the design of the production system
is such that family members have to go to different places for work,
then, separate time has to be found for behaviour, interaction amongst
each other.

Similarly, the design of homes may be conducive to interactions or may

be otherwise, where the possibility or opportunity is less

So, one civilisation may be family based – with families involved

together in production, their homes may be designed to promote
interaction and common living

And another civilisation may be individual based – with individuals

involved in production in different places. Also their homes may be
designed for individualistic or private living
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Impact of Civilisation
A civilization is vibrant, dynamic rather than being very rigid. There are
Multiple ways of expressing all that we have discussed in culture,
including all the festivals and traditions

All the inputs from outside leave an impression on us; on our thought
and therefore on our actions.

e.g. when we watch a movie or documentary, it does have an impact on

our thought. Further, it may also have an effect on our behavior – we
may start speaking like the protagonist or get a pair of jeans like our
favourite character was shown wearing and so on

So, if the inputs are predominantly about indulgence, it impacts us; if the
inputs are about living meaningfully, that may also impact us

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Civilisation impacts Individuals
Culture

Civilisation
Verbal Communication Audio-visual Communication Publication

Behaviour, modalities, mannerism, language… of individuals

Audio-visual Communication has the highest effect on the behaviour

etc. as compared to Verbal Communication. Publication has the least
effect on the behaviour etc. directly, the effect is more through thought,
the culture
Of course, all that we did at the level of culture (discussed in previous
lecture), has effect on the behaviour, on the civilisation.

85
Scope of Transmission of Sanskar from Generation to Generation
Family
e.g. everyday living
Family functions
e.g. gathering for a meal, birthday celebration, family customs
Social functions
e.g. marriage, durga puja, deepawali, id, Christmas…

86
Interaction between sanskar & behaviour, between culture & civilisation

Level Individual Societal

Individual sanskar culture

Guides Influences Guides Influences
Collective behaviour civilisation
Or Societal

While the individual expresses himself/herself as they are (as per their
sanskar), their sanskar is also influenced by their behaviour

At the collective or societal level culture influences the civilisation and

vice-versa

87
Interaction between sanskar & culture, between behaviour & civilisation

Level Thought Action (expression)

Individual sanskar behaviour

Influences Guides Influences Guides
Collective culture civilisation
Or Societal

While the individual expresses himself/herself as they are (as per their
sanskar) in private and in small groups, their behaviour is greatly
influenced by the collective behaviour when they are in groups

The collective or societal level (culture, civilisation) is influenced by the

individual level (sanskar, behaviour)

88
 Lecture 15 &16

Evaluation of Present State

&
Steps for Transition
Lecture Content
 In these two lectures we will try to work on
1. Doing a Critical Analysis of Present State- Lecture 15
2. Steps of Transition to Desired State Lecture 16

90
Possible Approaches
 There are two possible approaches when we are working on Doing a
Critical Analysis of Present State or on finding possible solutions to
Existing Problems-
1. Focussing on the Problems and trying to find their Solutions-
Problem Centric Approach &
2. Focusing on the Solutions and trying to evaluate the Problems as
absence of solutions- Solution Centric Approach

 In Problem Centric Approach, we are generally trying to look at

problems that we are facing today and trying to find out solution to
each of them. There are two major difficulties with this approach-
1. We tend to focus on problems and we get worried about it, which
has lot of implications (both psychological and material) at the
individual and social level. Any amount of worry will not bring the
solution. We have to look for possible solutions and work for it; only
then, we can overcome the problem
2. We take individual problems and try to solve them in isolation; while
it is quite possible that many problems are caused by some single
source or these problems may be interrelated.

91
Solution Centric Approach
 In Solution Centric Approach, we are generally trying to understand how
we can ensure living a fulfilling life for oneself and for all, and then work for
such a living (i.e. what is called as solution) in our day today life. This
approach -
1. Helps us to see our role as human being in this nature and how we can
ensure living with mutual fulfillment in this nature. Then we can try to live
like this and varify for ourselves that this does lead to a state of fulfillment of
oneself and the other, ultimately of everyone. This is the state of complete
solution
2. Gives a holistic perspective of human living. In the light of this, now we can
see that individual solutions are part of it and individual problems are
basically the lack of individual solutions, and they are not in isolation.
Therefore we donot try to solve them in isolation; we are looking at these
problems in the light of overall solution and solve them accordingly.
However, if urgent, we may give priority to work on an individual solution to
solve an individual problem

 It is clear from the above discussion that prevailing approach today is the
first one (Problem Centric Approach) ; however we have been taking the
second one (Solution Centric Approach) as this seems to be working in the
long run.

92
How we are going to Proceed
 Taking this 'Solution Centric Approach', we have tried to develop the
holistic perspective about human existence. Through this we have been able
to identify our goals at all four levels of our living. Till now, we have focused
on human–human relationship (Lecture 3-14). Identification of relationship, its
acceptance, ensuring the natural feelings in oneself and its fulfillment with
others leads to mutual fulfillment. This provides the basis for a human society
in which trust, respect and affection are ensured for every human being. In
the absence of fulfillment in relationship, we have all kinds of problems
showing up in the society.
 Now, in the light of this, we can make a critical analysis of the present day
situation in terms whether this mutual fulfillment in relationship is ensured at
different levels (individual, family and society) or not.

 Wherever this mutual fulfillment in relationship is not ensured at any of these

levels, it will show up as problems at that level. We will then try to see what is
the possible solutions to each of these problems that we are facing today. We
will also try to look at some possible steps for transition that we can take up in
the present context.
93
Problem – A state due to absence of fulfilment of the goal
Observe that the problems that we see at any level – individual, family,
societal– are largely because of the absence of fulfilment of relationship
at any particular level and in terms of lack of one or some of the feelings
in relationship that we discussed (we have seen in the foundation
course in HVPE that lack of right understanding of respect and its
fulfillment results into differentiation, which in turn causes multiple
problems such as discrimination on the basis of age, gender, colour,
race, sect, wealth and so on; and each of them lead to whole lot of
injustice and therefore protest and movements against each one of
them)

If we ensure the fulfilment of these feelings at each of these levels, then

it seems feasible that we will naturally get rid of the problems, we are
facing today

94
Recap from Previous Course
Next two slides have been taken from the foundation course on Human
Values and Professional ethics (HVPE).

They will give you a quick comparison between desired state and
current state at all different levels of our living.

Although they contain the current status in all four dimensions of our
living, but we can focus on the society where the problems due to lack
of fulfilment in relationship has been mentioned.

We can see how the lack of relationship results into a society which
primarily runs by exploitation, domination and fear, which ultimately lead
to problems like terrorism and war.

95
Current State – Have we understood our Goal?

Human Goal (ekuo y{;)

Right Understanding Prosperity Fearlessness Co-Existence
& Right Feeling (Trust) (mutual fulfilment)

Happiness
In Every Individual In Every Family In Society In Nature/
Existence

Gross Misunderstanding (vk/kkjHkwr Hkze)

Assumptions (eg. Accumulation Domination , Mastery &
Money is everything) By Any Means Exploitation, Fear Exploitation

In Every Individual In few Individuals In Society Over Nature

Obsession for Consumption Hkksx mUekn Terrorism Resource Depletion

“ for Profit ykHk mUekn War Pollution
“ for Sensual Pleasure dke mUekn

96
Current State – Society based on Domination & Exploitation

Assumptions about Human Goal

- Individual
- Society

Gross Misunderstanding
(vk/kkjHkwr Hkze)
Assumptions (eg. Accumulation Domination & Mastery &
Money is everything) By Any Means Exploitation Exploitation

In Every Individual In few Individuals In Society Over Nature

Copious Consumption Hkksx mUekn Terrorism Resource Depletion

Madness for Profit ykHk mUekn War Pollution
Madness for Sensual Pleasure dke mUekn

Fragmented Society
97
Steps of Transition
 If fulfillment in human-human relationship is ensured, most of the
problems will be solved.
 Even the burning problems like corruption and terrorism have their
roots in misunderstanding of human-human relationship, leading to
lack of fulfillment in human-human relationship.
 If at least the feeling of trust is ensured at the level of society, a base
(ground) for working on most of the social problems will be prepared
and if work on ensuring fulfillment in relationship at that level then, the
problem may get resolved naturally.

 If we want to transit from current state to desired state, ensuring

fulfillment in relationship is must.
 Fulfilling relationship can only be ensured if a person has right
understanding and right feeling.
 Thus, to work for ensuring right understanding and right feeling in an
individual is fundamental step for this transition.
98
Steps of Transition
 We have seen the all problems that we see today in the society which
are caused due to lack of fulfillment of human-human relationship can
be solved by ensuring fulfillment in human- human relationship.

 However, to exemplify this we will take some burning problems faced

by the society today and see how they can be solved through
fulfillment in relationship,

99
Problems and their Root Cause
 War has become a big international problem today. A large fraction of world
resources (more than 50% in many countries) are spent in preparation for
these wars.
 If we look closely, this basically is the problem of lack of relationship. A
country is not able to see its relationship with the other country. Therefore,
one or both are eager to exploit or to defeat each other to prove their
superiority.
 It must be obvious to both the parties that war is a loss for both of them, but
they are not able to stop it because they are not able to see that there exist
the better path of relationship and mutual cooperation which will be beneficial
for both of them.
 Same holds true for us also. We are busy fighting with our neighbors. We
have created a wall around our family and consider those within the family as
our relatives and rest all as outsider or rather as opponents. That’s why many
a times we are ready to do anything for those family members; and we do not
even hesitate to exploit others for the benefit of our family members. All these
are happening because we are not able to see the relationship with others.
 Same is happening at all the levels i.e., between villages, between districts,
states etc.

100
Problems and their Root Cause Cont…
 Terrorism also has the same root i.e., lack of relationship. We treat one
particular group of people as our own and rest all as others. As soon as this
differentiation of “my own and the others” comes in, Human-Human
relationship gets neglected. We are ready to do anything for our own people,
at the cost of harming even killing others.

 Even if we see the things from our individual perspective, today we all want to
move forward leaving others behind. We have made it as an indicator of our
individual progress. We do not think in terms of combined progress because
we are not able to see other person as our relative.

 Most of the times, we are doing so to get respect from the society. We have
not understood that feeling of respect is not a thing just to get from outside
rather it needs to be established in one’s self.

 If we will understand the true meaning of relationship and these feelings, we

will get rid of this mindset of individual progress through cut-throat
competition. We will rather think of cooperation, of how we can participate in
the society for the wellbeing of all and how a harmonious society can be
developed.
101
Sustainable Solution to Existing Problems
 Analyzing these current problems, we can conclude that not being
able to see two human beings as relatives is the core problem. Today,
we have defined Human-Human relationship in terms of sects,
religion, sex, colour and so on. Constraining the universal human-
human relation in these boundaries is the root cause of most of these
major problems.

 We may keep trying to find out the solution of these problems by

imposing hard rules and regulations in society, but till the feeling of
relationship is not ensured, there can never be a permanent solution
through this poocess of imposition of rules and regulations.

 Keeping this in mind, we have devoted half of the course to

understand the relationship, to understand the feelings in these
relationship, and to understand how can we ensure these feelings in
our behavior and conduct. If these things are ensured, most of the
problems we are seeing in human-human interactions will be
automatically solved.
102
What can we do today?
 Even though it may appear that there are very large number of
problems in current state, but scope of improvement is always there.

 Amid all these huge problems, we can always contribute in finding the
solution at our individual level, at the level of family, and at the level of
society.

 In next few slides we have listed some of the possible steps we can
take at our own level, at the level of family and society, which will
ultimately solve many existing problems.

103
Steps of transition at Individual level
 As an individual, we can contribute at all the levels, where ever we
participate.
 Looking at the structure of an organized society, family is the smallest
unit; village, district, states are intermediate units; and country & world
are the largest unit. Minimum place to participate is the family and
maximum expansion is up to world family. If we can ensure
organization and harmony even at the level of family, a significant part
of the problems can be resolved upto the societal level.
 Ensuring right understanding and right feeling at our individual
is fundamental step for this transition.
 Certain things that each one of us can do, to ensure this are-
 Everyone can devote some time (2-3 hours) for self study and
practice (of relationship and harmony) as this is the prime
requirement to ensure right understanding and right feeling in the
self.
 Everyone has the scope to ensure justice while living with other
human being at least from their side, starting from family and going
to higher level.
104
Steps of transition at the level of Family
 Harmonious relationship at least among all the members of family can
be ensured in each family.
 Family celebrations and gatherings can be used as an opportunity to
increase the level of mutual understanding, which will help improving
the state of relationship among members.
 Different sanskar ceremonies can be used to impart right sanskars to
the individual. We have taken many examples of such activities while
dealing with sanskars in Lecture 13. For example, birthday can be
celebrated so that the event can be used to do the evaluation of
current state of sanskars of the individual; to see where the person
ultimately wants to reach, what can be the right path to follow in order
to reach the destination and how other members can help that
particular individual in this journey.

105
Steps of transition at the level of Society
 Existing culture and civilization give direction to behaviour and conduct of
individual person and families. Most of the people follow what is established
as a norm in the society at present.
 If competition is the established norm, they will go for competition but, if
cooperation will be the established norm, they will go for cooperation.
 By all possible means of communication like publications, theatre, media,
cultural activities and so on, we need to establish and promote the right
values in the society; values which can nurture the sense of common well
being through relationship and cooopeation rather than a sense of individual
progress and competition. We need to promote that individual well being is
already taken care of, when we take care of well being of all.
 Instead of promoting the culture of showoff (which in one way or other lead to
the feeling of opposition and hatred), our festivals and ceremonies should
promote the feeling of affection, mutual respect and ultimately love.
 If society starts recognizing and promoting the culture of simple living instead
of lavish and extravagant life style, common people will start adopting that. It
will certainly reduce the competion among the people, save lot of wastage of
physical resources and reduce the exploitation of nature.
106
Society and System
 Till now, we have been discussing about society. We saw what can we
do at the level of individal, family and society to establish right feelings
like trust, affection and love as our culture and civilization.
 Our discussion was mainly focused on the issues of relationship,
which once ensured can help to solve many existing problems.

 In second part of the course (Lecture 17-41), we will see what can be
done at the level of system as a whole, i.e. in each dimensions of the
system to ensure the human goals at all different levels.
 There, we will also discuss how society can be complementary to
system and how system can play its role to realize the goal of a
humane society.

 In lecture 40-41, we will again do the combined evaluation of present

state from the point of view of system as well as society including all
different dimensions of our system.
107