Conflict Management Profile

Name: __________________________________ Date: _____________________

The following proverbs can be thought of as a description of some of the different strategies for
resolving conflicts. Proverbs state traditional wisdom. These proverbs reflect traditional wisdom for
resolving conflicts. Read each of the proverbs carefully. Using the scale given below indicate how typical
each proverb is your action in a conflict.

5 = Very Typical of the way I act in a conflict

4 = Frequently Typical of the way I act in a conflict
3 = Sometime Typical of the way I act in a conflict
2 = Seldom Typical of the way I act in a conflict
1 = Never Typical of the way I act in a conflict

___1. It is easier to refrain than to retreat from a quarrel.

___2. If you cannot make a person think as you do, make him or her do as you think.
___3. Soft words win hard hearts.
___4. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.
___5. Come now and let us reason together.
___6. When two quarrel, the person who keeps silent first is the most praiseworthy.
___7. Might overcomes right.
___8. Smooth word makes smooth ways.
___9. Better half a loaf than no bread at all.
___10. Truth lies in knowledge, not in a majority opinion.
___11. He who fights and runs away lives to fight in another day.
___12. He hath conquered well that hath made his enemies flee.
___13. Kill your enemies with kindness.
___14. A fair exchange brings into quarrel.
___15. No person has the final answer but every person has a piece to contribute.
___16. Stay away from people who disagree with you.
___17. Fields are won by those who believes in winning.
___18. Kind words are worth much and cost little.
___19. Tit for tat is fair play.
___20. Only the person who is willing to give up his or her monopoly on truth can ever profit from the
truths that others hold.
___21. Avoid quarrelsome people as they will only make your life miserable.
___22. A person who will not flee will make others flee.
___23. Soft words ensure harmony.
___24. One gift for another makes good friends.
___25. Bring your conflicts into the open and face them directly; only then will the best solution be
discovered.
___26. The best way of handling conflicts is to avoid them.
___27. Put your foot down where you mean to stand.
___28. Gentleness will triumph over anger.
___29. Getting part of what you want is better than not getting anything at all.
___30. Frankness, honesty and trust will move mountains.
___31. There is nothing so important you have to fight for it.
___32. There are two kinds of people in the world, the winners and the losers.
___33. When one hits you with a stone, hit him or her with a piece of cotton.
___34. When both people give in halfway, a fair settlement is achieved.
___35. By digging and digging, the truth is discovered.
1. The Turtle (Withdrawing). Turtles withdraw into their shells to avoid conflicts. They give up their
personal goals and relationships. They stay away from the issues over which conflict is taking
place and from the people they are on conflict with. Turtles believe it is hopeless to try to resolve
conflicts, they feel helpless. They believe it is easier to withdraw (physically and psychologically)
from a conflict than to face it.

2. The Shark (Forcing). Sharks try to overpower opponents by forcing them to accept their solution
to the conflict. Their goals are highly important to them, and the relationship of minor importance.
They seek to achieve their goals at all costs. They are not concerned with the needs of other people.
They do not care if other people like or accept them. Sharks assume that conflicts are settled by
one person winning and one person losing. They want to be the winner. Winning gives sharks a
sense of pride and achievement. Losing gives them a sense of weakness, inadequacy, and failure.
They try to win by attacking, overpowering, overwhelming, and intimidating people.

3. The Teddy Bear (Smoothing). To Teddy Bears, the relationship is of great importance, while their
own goals are of little importance. Teddy Bears want to be accepted and liked by other people.
They think that conflicts should be avoided in favor of harmony and believe that conflicts cannot
be discussed without damaging relationships. They are afraid that if conflicts continues, someone
will get hurt, and that would ruin the relationship. They give up their goals to preserve the
relationship. Teddy Bears say, “I’ll give up my goals, and let you have what you want, in order for
you to like me.” Teddy Bears try to smooth over the conflict in fear of harming the relationship.

4. The Fox (Compromising). Foxes are moderately concerned with their own goals and about their
relationships with other people. Foxes seek a compromise. They give up part of his goals. They
seek a solution to conflicts where both sides gain something – a middle ground between two
extreme positions. They are willing to sacrifice part of their goals and relationships in order to find
the agreement for the common good.

5. The Owl (Confronting). Owls highly value their own goals and relationships. They view conflicts
as problems to be solved and seek a solution that achieves both their own goals and the goals of
other person in the conflict. Owls see conflicts as improving relationships by reducing tension
between two people. They try to begin a discussion that identifies the conflict as a problem. By
seeking solutions that satisfy both themselves and the other person, owls maintain the relationship.
Owls are not satisfied until a solution is found that achieves their own goals and the other person’s
goals. And they are not satisfied until the tensions and negative feelings have been fully resolved.
Name __________________________________ Date _____________________________

Withdrawing Forcing Smoothing Compromising Confronting

__________1. __________2. __________3. __________4. __________5.
__________6. __________7. __________8. __________9. __________10.
__________11. __________12. __________13. __________14. __________15.
__________16. __________17. __________18. __________19. __________20.
__________21. __________22. __________23. __________24. __________25.
__________26. __________27. __________28. __________29. __________30.
__________31. __________32. __________33. __________34. __________35.
__________Total __________Total __________Total __________Total __________Total
The higher the Total Score for each conflict strategy, the more frequently you tend to use the strategy. The
lower the Total Score, the less frequently you tend to use that strategy.