COMPLEX POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER

Contents
Neglect and its Effects regarding C-PTSD 1
Healing 2
Be Stronger Than Your Past 3
Freedom is free 4
 COMPLEX POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER

Neglect and its Effects regarding C-PTSD

NEGLECT DEFINED
verb

fail to care for properly.

"the old churchyard has been sadly neglected"

noun

the state or fact of being uncared for.

"animals dying through disease or neglect"

According to Psychology Today, Child neglect is:

Child neglect is defined as any egregious act or omission by a parent or other caregiver that
deprives a child of basic age-appropriate needs and thereby results, or has reasonable
potential to result, in physical or psychological harm. Younger children are neglected most,
and more girls suffer from neglect than boys. Children who are victims of neglect may
struggle with the emotional aftershocks well into adulthood; in cases of physical neglect, they
may also suffer from long-term physical ailments. Source

Types of Child Neglect:

There are several types of neglect. Physical neglect is a broad category that includes the refusal to
seek necessary medical care; child abandonment, or the desertion of a child without arranging
for care or supervision; inadequate supervision; the expulsion of a child from the home; and
failing to provide for a child's safety or physical needs. Other forms of physical neglect include
inadequate nutrition, clothing, or hygiene; conspicuous inattention to avoidable hazards in the
home; and reckless disregard of a child's safety and welfare, such as driving with a child while
intoxicated or leaving a young child in a car unattended. Educational neglect occurs when a child
is allowed to engage in chronic truancy or is of mandatory school age but does not receive
schooling; the refusal to obtain or allow recommended remedial education services; or the
refusal to follow through with treatment for a diagnosed learning disorder or other special

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education needs without reasonable cause. Emotional neglect includes inadequate nurturing and
affection; spousal abuse in a child's presence; allowing a child to use drugs or alcohol; the refusal,
or delay in providing, needed psychological care; and encouraging or allowing maladaptive
behavior such as chronic delinquency or assault. Because emotional neglect may not manifest as
physical signs like dirty clothes or frequent absences, it may be difficult for outside parties to
identify. Medical neglect is the failure to provide for the appropriate health care of a child. Such a
child may exhibit signs of poor health such as fatigue, infected cuts, and constant itching or
scratching of the skin. Source

Neglect within relationships:

In a relationship or marriage emotional neglect is when a partner consistently fails to notice,

attend to, and respond in a timely manner to a partner or spouse’s feelings. In both instances, it
has far-reaching negative consequences for the relationship.

Emotional neglect is common. It happens in the majority of families in today’s busy lifestyle and
society. Most parents love their children. Most adults love their partners. This is not about love or
the lack of love. It is about bringing into awareness something that we may not be aware of, and
about acting it.
Many individuals, couples and families who suffer the consequences of emotional neglect. Good
people of all ages with a void in their lives, longing for this invisible emotional attention. Source

NEGLECTED CHILDREN
● May have a very hard time bonding

● Might distrust authority

● May not understand healthy relationships/friendships

● Can be determined to survive

● Can be resourceful

● Can be EXTRAORDINARILY independent

Child Neglect is Abuse.

DIFFERENT TYPES OF NEGLECT

● Childhood Neglect

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o Defined previously

● Neglected Adults
o Incarcerated People: guards who are neglectful unjustly restrict time outside of the cell,
outdoors, duties in the prison and sanitary products/food
o Domestic Violence Survivors: the abuser forgets to provide money or the means to
provide food, cleaning supplies etc.

o Lack of understanding or noticing problems within relationships, can lead to neglect

within a partnership. Many effects can be long lasting including:

▪ Lack of self worth

▪ Lack of patience

▪ One partner overcompensating to make up for the neglectful partner

▪ Lack of connection and trust

▪ May lead to neglect of children in the home and/or relationship

Healing

● Mantra: create a mantra that makes you feel better about yourself:
o “I am worthy of the basic human necessities and much more.”
o “I am deserving of an amazing life.”
o “My feelings are valuable, my needs are reasonable and if my partner cannot meet those, I
deserve more.”
o “I have value now, I had value as a child, I am inherently valuable and my value is non-
negotiable.”
o If none of these really work for you, then take from these ideas and write one or a few that
may work for you!
1) _____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
______
2) _____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
______

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3) _____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
______
● 3x33 Practice: Write an affirmation 33 times per day for 3 days
o Affirmations only work if you are willing to step into the feeling that each word and
phrase creates. This means if you believe that you are lying to yourself, then you are. The
purpose of affirmations is not to convince the world however, affirmations are meant to
change your own mind about yourself.
● Sometimes undoing Neglect, especially when it comes to childhood neglect, is “re-parenting”
ourselves. This can take many forms and can look different for everyone. I will put a bit of my
story here so maybe you can understand why I am so passionate about helping you heal as well.

When I was a baby I was severely neglected to the point where Child Protective Services found me and
removed me when I was 3 months old. Many suppositions were made by my adoptive parents about this time,
but some facts do remain. I was abandoned, I was surrounded by drugs, and my aunt was for some reason
disqualified as a placement, so I was placed into a temporary intake home, many babies were in this home
and the foster parents had a young daughter as well. I was not able to be properly taken care of emotionally
there, but my basic needs of clean diapers, food, and clean clothes were being met. I was placed into my
adoptive home and I was bombarded with attention and love, but my brain didn't know how to receive it. I
was 8 months old however, I was so used to the neglect emotionally and psychologically that I was truly
unable to accept the love. I was traumatized and trying to heal, but that aspect of my experience was just so
overlooked. Due to the emotional neglect at this point, I was set up for failure within this family dynamic, but
neither they nor I knew that yet. I have had to re-parent myself a LOT and part of that process was figuring
out what made me feel safe, secure and loved. Part of that process was me choosing to meet my own needs.

I started buying clothes that made me feel good and were comfortable. I started finding “Stuffies” and other
toys that made me feel safe and comfortable. As well as changing how I view my own self worth, my own self
love, and my own internal needs that were never met throughout my childhood and use that knowledge to
meet those needs now in a safe and healthy way.

Be Stronger Than Your Past

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WHAT ARE 3 THINGS YOU CAN DO WEEKLY TO DISPLAY YOUR WORTH TO YOURSELF? WHAT
ARE 3 NEEDS THAT WERE NOT MET THAT YOU CAN NOW MEET? SOME EXAMPLES I HAVE
USED, CREATE A CHECKLIST OR “TO DO” LIST ON YOUR PHONE THAT IS ON A TIMER AND BY
DATE TO MAKE SURE YOU EAT CONSISTENTLY. BUY YOURSELF A TREAT THAT MAKES YOU
REALLY HAPPY LIKE ICE CREAM, SODA, COOKIES OR EVEN FRESHLY BAKED BROWNIES. IF
FOOD ISNT SOMETHING YOU NEED, BUY A SMALL TOY OR FIDGET, WEAR A CLEAN SHIRT
THAT IS SUPER COMFORTABLE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. SOMETHING ATTAINABLE,
DOABLE AND CONSISTENT THAT YOU DO FOR YOURSELF.
• ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
• ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
• ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

WHAT ARE THREE ACTIVITIES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL SPECIAL? IF YOU ARE INTO SPORTS, JOIN
A RECREATIONAL ADULT LEAGUE OF YOUR CHOICE. IF YOU LIKE CRAFTS AND ART, DO WINE
AND PAINT NIGHTS, A CROCHET CLASS, A KNITTING GROUP? IF YOU LIKE BOOKS, READ A
NEW ONE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN PUTTING OFF. SIMPLE, ATTAINABLE, RE-PARENTING SKILLS.
CREATE YOUR OWN PLAN TO NOT ONLY RE-PARENT BUT LOVE, SUPPORT AND APPRECIATE
YOUR INNER CHILD WHO HAS BEEN NEGLECTED AND STILL NEEDS TO HEAL AT A DEEPER AND
MORE INTIMATE LEVEL.
• ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
• ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
• ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I UNDERSTAND THAT NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO TRAVEL, BUT GETTING OUT OF YOUR
ROUTINE, RESETTING YOUR MIND CAN BE A HUGE START. WHAT ARE SOME GOALS (OF
PLACES TO GO OR THINGS THAT SHAKE UP YOUR ROUTINE) THAT YOU CAN SAVE UP AND
TREAT YOURSELF YEARLY?
Set realistic goals here, because not going will decrease your already fragile self worth, so make sure that
you take this seriously. Some amazing examples you can choose (or not) that are realistic for most people:

Going on a hike somewhere you haven't explored yet

Going to the beach and having a relaxing day, lake beaches, River beaches and ocean beaches are all
beautiful and fun places to relax, eat and and gather your thoughts.

Camping for 3 days

Taking a week off work and having a backyard camp out

A concert or show that is close to where you live being performed by a celebrity you really like

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SELF CARE TRIP

PLace How much you Preparations you people you want

need to save need to make to go with you

Freedom is free
YOUR LIFE HAS VALUE
No matter what anyone’s actions have previously demonstrated, you have value and you need to be the
one to say that to yourself and demonstrate it to yourself. And this is when re-parenting takes on a new
meaning. Now you have to take a step back and acknowledge that something was done to you with or
without the intent to harm you, you were still harmed.

Let’s start by denouncing some core beliefs here, and really acknowledge your past, what happened, your
emotions and start the hard work of deconstruction, now that you have built the skills and begun the
process of self belief, self care and self love, you can start to deconstruct why that was even necessary.

● Self Value
o The actions of _______________ taught me that my life had no value outside of providing
__________________, ______________ and ___________________ to his/her life, but I renounce that
because my life DOES have value and I show that in my actions daily.
● Write another affirmation that speaks to your worth
o _______________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________.
o Take that affirmation ^^^ that you wrote and write it on a 3x5 card (or 10) and post it all
around your house, mirrors, doors, closets, in the pocket of your favorite hoody, above the
sink (LITERALLY anywhere you will see it OFTEN) and begin to rewire your brain to see
your worth.

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o NOTE: this may not take away the anxiety, or fear of never being enough but it will
definitely begin to change the way in which you see yourself, and that is the start to
changing the way your brain thinks about the traumas.

IT ISNT HUMAN TO BE PERFECT

Maybe you thought that you were too much, you stressed others out and/or you thought you were a
burden to great for the person who neglected you, but here is the truth: nobody is perfect. You might have
a ton of energy and be a stressor to someone, and that’s okay. You may be really sick and overwhelming to
your caretaker, and that’s okay. It could be WHO you are, a diagnosis, what you have done, who you have
worked for, and even when you worked for those people that is imprinted in your brain for why the neglect
happened. The truth is this: the person who neglected you thought that they were more important to you,
and that’s it. Nothing else matters, it wasn’t something you did, had or were, and there was nothing you
could do to change that person’s mind. So now you have a task ahead of you, and its going to be difficult,
but you can do it: Change Your Own Mind. Put Your needs first and learn from the mistakes of others and
do not push those in your care to the wayside, be that family or a job. Be and do better than you were
taught. Be and do better than you believe you can.

FREEDOM IS FREE, BUT YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE IT

Maybe you are thinking that you paid for these documents, so it can’t be free. But that isn’t true. I can
make all the documents in the world and if you choose to be in bondage to your past that is on you. You
have to choose to be free, do the work to dispute in your brain the value others have assigned to you, and
choose to grow, learn and expand your definition of freedom. When your mind is free, no prison can
contain you, no abuse can define you, no neglect can starve you of your truth, and that is freedom indeed.

YOU ARE WORTH EVERY TEAR

Have you cried yourself to sleep hungry? Have you cried and known that nobody cared, and did you
believe nobody ever would? I do! I care. I care and I cry for you. I spend hours researching and taking
notes so that I can reach you. I spend days formatting just 1 workbook to maybe change just 1 life. I cry for
my past, for the pain others are still walking in, for the pain I still slip into in the worst episodes, for the
anxiety that has eaten me and that I know is eating others. Maybe the person supposed to protect you
wasn’t there, and maybe they still aren’t. That’s okay. I am here, following my heart to reach YOU and help
you become who you are meant to be. You are worthy, and each tear that you cried alone has built you into
the powerful human you are becoming, and you must accept that you were forged in the pain to be
stronger, braver, smarter and more determined than anyone you are likely to meet. The decision then
becomes, will you accept the strength, the power and the worthiness of your life, or will you let the weight
of it shatter you?

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If you chose to let this build you, you will be as a diamond, created by pressure you become strong and
ever more beautiful. Your soul will shine with the purity that only a diamond that has undergone the
utmost pressure can have.

If you chose to let this break you, like glass you will slice at all who come near you. Rejecting who you are
and why you are here. You will feel as though you are living a life that was never intended for you, and you
will be right. You were made to be a diamond, and you chose to be glass.

List some of the lessons you have learned and how you have decided to be like a diamond based on the
pressure you have lived through.

Pressure: What Lesson Learned What this tells What I am Who I am meant This relates to
Pain have I me about me meant to teach to help my life purpose
endured others through because
this

TAKE YOUR POWER

● Decide that you are worth it.

● Decide that you are going to be WHO you are.

● Begin to believe it.

● Begin to live it.

● Don’t let go of yourself and what you have learned, instead use that to fuel who you are becoming.

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