Are My

Wings Even
C
i

Sadia Bies
A game of magic, dressup, and
repressed teenage feelings.

Even faeries were young once. They don’t talk much about the immortals

before they become ancient, before their beauty grows fractal depth beneath the un-
changing surface of their skin. But even immortals are first children, uneven and
unrefined. They are kept away from the courts and away from mortals as they shift
and grow, change not just their appearance but their nature. Only adults have one true
name. When you are young you don’t know who you are. Someday you will be refined
to a point, into a blade that cuts through time. Uncertainty isn’t something you’ve had
much chance to witness or learn, but still you feel it brewing inside you along with all
the desires, fears, obsessions, the things that will eventually winnow down into your
name. There are so many things you cannot say. You are bound by truth and you do
not yet know what the truth is. When you are young there are a hundred trembling
possibilities inside you, waiting to burst forth and be chosen. You have a hundred
names.
There is so much urgency in growing up. You are still a delicate and small ani-
mal, you are trying to claw your way into being and fierceness. You do not want to
dwell on your uncertainty. You do not cherish the amorphous nature of being young.
Someday you might, but the young never do in the moment. You walk in tandem with
the others like you, children with hands reaching forward towards becoming. Uneasy
creatures that can’t help but snarl and nip, tumble over themselves and each other.
Maybe if you had names you would know how to talk to each other. None of you have
names.
Scenario

You are young fae getting ready for your first excursion into the world of mortals. You are
going to a revel, a place taken over by timelessness where fae wear human faces and hu-
mans become more wild. It is forbidden for fae without names to participate, they are too
vulnerable to mortals who aren’t bound by truth. It is a well known secret that nameless fae
go to them anyway. It is a right of passage of sorts, and the older fae avert their gaze. After
all you can’t discover yourself if no risks are taken.
It is also your first time doing a glamor. You cover up the parts of you that are inhu-
man, the parts that reveal your true nature. You make yourself like a softer more vulnerable
creature. The body you wear is unfamiliar and flawed. It’s ok. No one gets it all right on the
first time. You and your friend(s) gather to help each other prepare. You’ll smooth down
flyaways of each other’s magic, help each other change. You’re growing up together, messily,
and all at once. You’re determined to help each other, but none of you really know the right
way to do things.
When you’re done getting ready you’ll head out together. You will meet mortals for
the first time, you will dance with your own in a new way. What awaits you is a heady new
experience, chaotic and enchanting. It will change you. But here, in the quiet of getting
ready, the slow touch of another’s hand on your imperfect body will change you as well.

Rules
What You
Need
• Fae must always speak the truth. If mul-
tiple things may be true, young faeries can
say what they believe to be true in the mo-
• 2-4 people ment.
• 2 hours • Whenever you want to tell the other faerie
• A variety of makeup, the more how you feel about them, instead talk about
types the better how you feel about the upcoming dance.
• Alternate clothes, a few options • Only touch each other when it is couched
• Music, something from when you in a platonic excuse.
were younger • Only stare when the other isn’t watching.
Gameplay

1. Have your friends help pick out what clothes you’ll wear to the revel. You can have opin-
ions and discuss them, but ultimately you find it easier to trust your friend’s judgement than
your own most of the time. Find an outfit that makes you feel confident, or that your friends
can convince you makes you look good.

2. Get dressed. If you want to leave the room to do so, you can. Or you can ask the others
to turn away. This can be a moment to explore attraction, and not getting caught staring.
If you’re not comfortable with that out of game this isn’t an essential part of play. You can
discuss it beforehand, or leave in the moment to get dressed elsewhere if you’d like.

3. Take turns putting on each other’s makeup. You are literally applying makeup, but you
are also adjusting each other’s glamour through touch as you go. This is a time to be bold
and experimental as you help each other find yourselves. You are new at makeup, just like
you’re new at glamour.

4. Before you head out to the revel, you need to choose the names you’ll use there. Make
suggestions to your friends until you find one that fits. Both nice and uncomfortable truths
are a bit too close to home. This won’t be your true name, probably, but tonight it sits like it
is. A bit too honest and a bit risky to wear out.

Making A Character

• What element of nature does your fae strongly connect with?

• What does your true body look like?
• Why are you drawn to the fae you’re getting ready with?
• What is something that you know it’s better not to talk about?
• What is something you worry you are judged for?
• What is something that you’re worried will go wrong at the revel?
• What are you hoping the revel will be like?
• Why do you believe it is a terrible idea to be honest about your attraction to the fae you’re
getting ready with? Do you even realize you’re attracted to them?
Safety

• Have a conversation before play about what themes you don’t want to enter play. This
game wasn’t designed with darker themes in mind, but is meant to replicate teenage expe-
riences which can be emotionally fraught. Discuss what kind of tone the group is looking
for in the play experience.

• This game involves physical touch. If there are certain areas that you don’t want to be
touched, it may be good to inform fellow players ahead of time. Expected touch in this
game includes faces, head, hair, hands, shoulders, and arms.

• This game involves discussing other player’s appearances. While it should be in a positive
and encouraging light, there may be aspects of your appearance that you do not want com-
mented on. Let the other players know if this is the case.

• You can stop play at any point by saying “I’d like to stop.” If play stops, check in on each
other, assess what everyone needs, and only continue play again if everyone is excited to
do so.

inspiration

This game was inspired by my experiences being a closeted teenager, in a group of other
closeted teenagers. There were years when I didn’t realize that it was even possible that I was
attracted to my friends, and in hindsight these formative moments took on a new context
and meaning. While me and my friends were dressing up to go to dances, allegedly to win
over boys, we were sharing a type of nervous and electric intimacy. We shaped each other’s
appearance and identities, and these moments bonded us even as we misunderstood them.
I hope that by playing this game you can take on some of that excitement of trying on
new self images, new identities, and building them communally with those you’re close to.
Much like putting on my friends lipstick gave me an excuse to touch their lips, I hope that
this game might give you an excuse to look at yourself a little bit differently.