NAME: __________________________________

GRADE, SECTION, AND STRAND _____________________

This module is good for 2 WEEKS.

Deadline of submission is on January 17, 2022.

SAINT PATRICK’S ACADEMY, INC.

Paltic, Dingalan, Aurora

Personal
Development
First Quarter SY 2021-2022

Lesson VI
The Dynamics of
Attraction, Love
and Commitment

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 PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
LESSON 6: The Dynamics of Attraction, Love and Commitment

Introduction
Teenage relationships are known to be intense and expressive. How should you express
your attraction, love and commitment? A typical scenario goes this way: You ask someone to
be your boyfriend or girlfriend. It is either they say yes or no, and you maturely respect that
person’s decision. Consent is a key of relationship. You should not force someone to do
something that they do not agree to, vice-versa. Numerous ways of expressing one’s love exist,
and keeping that in mind, you should respect your own boundaries as well as other peoples
at the same time.

Performance Standards
Content Standards
The learner identifies ways to appraise
At the end of this lesson, the learners shall
one’s present relationships and make plans
demonstrate an understanding of the
for building responsible future
dynamics of attraction, love, and commitment.
relationships.
?

Essential Understanding Essential Questions

Present relationships build and enhance Why do you think establishing rules within a
either social and intimate future relationship. relationship is important?

Learning Competencies

At the end of this lesson, the learners shall be able to discuss an understanding of teen-age
relationships, including the acceptable and unacceptable expressions of attractions, express
his/her ways of showing attraction, love, and commitment, identify ways to become responsible in
a relationship

Objectives:
At the end of this lesson, you will be able to:

a. Discuss an understanding of teenage relationships, including the acceptable and

unacceptable expressions of attractions;
b. Express his or her ways of showing attraction, love and commitment
c. Identify ways to become responsible in a relationship; and
d. Appraise one’s relationships and make plans for building responsible future
relationships.

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ACTIVITY 1: Make two lists: 1. What you find attractive (physical or personality traits) in a person,
and 2. What you look for in a long-term partner. Discuss your list and answer the following
question?
1. Why do you see these traits attractive in a person?
2. What are the things you consider in choosing your long-term partner?

What you find attractive (physical or What you look for in a long-term partner.
personality traits) in a person.

Discussion

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 Liking and Attraction

There are several factors that lead to friendship and

attraction between two people:

1. Proximity — Refers to geographical nearness and

the best predictor Of Whether two people are
friends. More than that, frequent interaction allows
people to explore similarities and sense one
another's liking. Even just the anticipation of
interaction boosts liking. Mere exposure is the
tendency of something to be more likeable after
someone has been repeatedly exposed to it.
2. Physical attractiveness — Whether we like it or
not, attractiveness is a good predictor of how frequently someone dates. The matching
phenomenon occurs when people tend to choose someone whose attractiveness roughly
matches their own, but in cases when someone is less attractive, the latter often
compensates with other qualities. The physical attractiveness stereotype is the assumption
that physically attractive people possess other desirable traits. Studies show that there is
some truth to this, in that attractive people were found to be more outgoing and self-
confident because they are valued and favored. Therefore, it is simply not about how you look
but rather, how people treat you and how you feel about yourself.

Studies have shown that we also likable people as attractive. Look back to a time when you
developed a crush on someone. Maybe as you grew to like them, their physical imperfections
weren't so noticeable. Discovering similarities with someone also makes them more
attractive. Furthermore, the more in love people are, the more physically attractive they find
someone, and the less attractive they find all others.

This begs the question, do opposites really attract? Complementarity, or the tendency of two
people to complete what is missing in the other, may develop as a relationship progresses.
But people are more likely to be attracted to and marry those whose needs and personalities
are similar to theirs.

Love and Commitment

Love, as you probably already know, is more complex than just liking
someone. Psychologist Robert Sternberg views love as a triangle with
three components:

1. Intimacy — Feelings of closeness and connectedness in

relationships, which include experienced happiness, high regard, and
mutual understanding.
2. Passion — Feelings of romance, physical attraction, and sexual
arousal in a relationship. The passion component is closely tied to the
intimacy component; for instance, passion may develop immediately, and it
is only after a while that intimacy develops. In short, passion may draw
two people into a relationship, but intimacy sustains the closeness. This
can also work the other way around such as when two close friends develop
physical attraction towards each other that wasn’t immediately there.
3. Decision/Commitment- This consists of two aspects: short-term or the decision to love
someone else, and long-term or the commitment to maintain that love. This commitment is
essential for getting through hard times in a relationship.

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 The interrelationships of these three components gives rise to different kinds of love.

Kind of Love Description

1. Nonlove The absence of all three components and pertains to casual,
everyday interactions that do not include love at all.
2. Liking Refers to the feelings of friendship, such as closeness,
bondedness and warmth. It involves only the intimacy
component.
3. Infatuated love “Love at first sight” by experiencing passionate arousal
without the intimacy and the decision/commitment
components. These can arise quickly and dissipate just
immediately.
4. Empty Love This kind of love arises when one is committed to loving
someone but both the intimacy and passion components are
absent. It is found in stagnant relationship that have been
going on for years, but have lost the physical attraction and
emotional involvement they once had.
5. Romantic Love A combination of the intimacy and passion components. Put
simply, it is liking and being physically attracted someone.
When intense, passionate love becomes lukewarm, this
triggers disillusion, especially for those who believe romantic
love is essential for marriage and its continuation.
6. Companionate Evolves from a combination of the intimacy and
Love decision/commitment components. Unlike the wild emotions
of passionate love, companionate love is a deep, steady, and
affectionate attachment that is just real. This is often seen in
stable, long-term marriages and can last a lifetime.
7. Fatuous Love A combination of the passion and decision/commitment
components, and often manifests in whirlwind romances.
Commitment is made based on passion, but the relationship
isn’t stable because there is no intimacy (i.e., they have
nothing in common).
8. Consummate Love A full combination of all three components, and the kind of
love many of us aspire for in romantic relationships.
Maintaining this kind of love is more difficult than achieving
it.

A majority of adults exhibit secure attachment or an attachment rooted

in trust that sustains relationships in time of conflict. Other adults
exhibit avoidant attachment (i.e., resistance to being close to others),
and they have a tendency to be less invested in relationships and are
more likely to leave them. Insecure attachment is marked by
anxiety or ambivalence, wherein individuals are less trusting and
fearful of a partner's interest in someone else, thus making them
more possessive and jealous. These attachment styles lay the
foundation for future relationships.

The equity principle of attraction states that the outcome people receive from a relationship is
proportional to what they each put into it. Those in an enduring relationship eventually stop
keeping track of how much they are giving and getting. Self-disclosure is being able to reveal
intimate aspects of oneself to others, as often seen in deep, companionate relationships. The
disclosure reciprocity effect is the tendency to match the self-disclosure of one's partner. In short,
letting ourselves be known as we are nurtures love.

Love does not always last. The end of relationships is usually a sequence of events that begin with
focusing on the loss of a partner, followed by deep sadness, and eventually, detachment or letting
go of the old and focusing on someone new.

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When relationships suffer, those who are invested or without better alternatives seek different ways
of coping with the relationship, including: loyalty (waiting for the relationship to improve), neglect
(ignoring the partner and letting the relationship deteriorate), or voice (taking active steps to
improve the relationship through discussing problems and attempting to change). Couples with
healthy marriages still undergo conflict but the difference is that have an ability to reconcile
differences and restrain criticisms and put-downs.

During adolescence, teenagers such as yourself naturally feel romance. Because this is an emotion
that is so powerful, it can fool anyone into thinking that they and their significant other are in a
healthier relationship than it actually is. Maybe this is why, as the old adage says, love is blind.

There are seven qualities of a healthy relationship:

1. Mutual respect — You and your significant other should respect

each other's likes as well as your dislikes. They should be into
you for you, and vice-versa.
2. Trust — Jealousy is a natural feeling, but what is important
is how you or your significant other react to it.
3. Honesty — This goes hand-in-hand with trust. You and
your significant other should be honest; if one is caught
lying, trust is no longer there.
4. Support — A great boyfriend or girlfriend would support
you in both good times and in bad, as well as push you to
be the best version of yourself that you can be.
5. Fairness/Equality — In your relationship, are you the giver or
the taker? A great relationship consists of understanding,
compromise, and balance.
6. Separate identities — You and your boyfriend or girlfriend
should be two separate people with two separate identities that
you together both respect and maintain. If you lose yourself in a
relationship, it is an unhealthy one.
7. Good communication - This is the most important aspect of a healthy relationship. You and
your significant other should be able to communicate your issues openly and effectively.

ACTIVITY 2: Read the following scenarios and answer the questions that follows.

Scenario 1: Marisa and Jun are going on their third date to watch a movie. Marisa wants her
two friends to come with them but Jun tells her that unless they go to the movie just the two of
them, the date is off.
Questions:
a. Why do you think Marissa wants to date with her friends along?
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b. Why do you think Jun wants to be alone with Marissa?

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 c. What should Marissa do? Go to the movie with Jun without her friends or accept that the
date if off? Justify your answer.
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Scenario 2: May and Henry have been dating for three months now. Henry starts to realize
that May always picks the place where they should go like watch movies, which mall to go
shopping, where to eat, etc. Henry is beginning to feel that May does not listen to his suggestion.
Questions:
a. What do you think is the reason why Henry is upset about not being able to choose where
to go on their date?
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b. Look back on your list of unhealthy characteristics of a relationship. Can you choose
some words that describe the situation? Explain why.
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c. What do you think should Henry do?

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ACTIVITY 3: Brainstorm about the characteristics of a healthy and unhealthy relationship.

Write as many words/phrases as you can in the proper column. Explain your answers on the space
below.

Healthy Relationship Unhealthy Relationship

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 Explanation
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Parents/Guardian’s Signature