Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Intimacy Disorders and Sexual Panic States
Intimacy Disorders and Sexual Panic States
Intimacy Disorders and Sexual Panic States
To cite this article: Helen Singer Kaplan M.D., Ph.D. (1988) Intimacy disorders and sexual panic
states, Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 14:1, 3-12, DOI: 10.1080/00926238808403902
Taylor & Francis makes every effort to ensure the accuracy of all the information (the
“Content”) contained in the publications on our platform. However, Taylor & Francis,
our agents, and our licensors make no representations or warranties whatsoever as to
the accuracy, completeness, or suitability for any purpose of the Content. Any opinions
and views expressed in this publication are the opinions and views of the authors,
and are not the views of or endorsed by Taylor & Francis. The accuracy of the Content
should not be relied upon and should be independently verified with primary sources
of information. Taylor and Francis shall not be liable for any losses, actions, claims,
proceedings, demands, costs, expenses, damages, and other liabilities whatsoever or
howsoever caused arising directly or indirectly in connection with, in relation to or arising
out of the use of the Content.
This article may be used for research, teaching, and private study purposes. Any
substantial or systematic reproduction, redistribution, reselling, loan, sub-licensing,
systematic supply, or distribution in any form to anyone is expressly forbidden. Terms &
Conditions of access and use can be found at http://www.tandfonline.com/page/terms-
and-conditions
Intimacy Disorders and
Sexual Panic States
Helen Singer Kaplan, M.D., Ph.D.
There are two types of progress in science: linear and circular. Linear
progress refers to the development of an entirely new idea, while the
improvement of an already existing concept is called circular progress.
For example, for millions of' years humans hunted for meat by throwing
rocks at animals. This was an inefficient method of hunting and the tribe
of'ten went without sufficient protein. Then a creative individual came
u p with the idea of the bow and arrow. T h a t is an example of linear
progress in that it represents a conceptual discontinuity, an entirely new
and more effective solution to the problem of food procurment, which
greatly eased the meat shortage. Thereafter, for several thousands of
years, generations of innovators tinkered with and improved and refined
the basic bow and arrow design to devise cross-bows and long-bows of
enormous accuracy and power, and arrows with sharper points and truer
aim. These technical developments and improvements of the basic bow
and arrow concept provided society with a n evermore effective means
of procuring meat, and are circular forms of progress. When the gun
was invented, a new linear progression was established.
As I see it, before Masters and Johnson we were throwing rocks at our
enemy, sexual disorders, with very uncertain results. When I was in med-
ical school, some 25 years or so ago, sexual medicine was in such a pri-
~~ ~~
Helen Singer Kaplan, M.D., Ph.D., is Director of the Human Sexuality Prograrri of'l'he New York
Hospital-Cornell Medical Center. This article is adapted from a talk presented at the Annual Meeting
of thc Society for Sex Therapy and Research, New Orleans, Louisiana, March 15, 1987.
Address correspondence to: Helen Singer Kaplan, M.D., Ph.D., 30 East 76 Street, New York, N Y
10021 .
Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, Vol. 14, No. 1, Spring 1988 0 Brunner/Mazel, Inc.
3
4 Journal o f s e x & Marital Therapy, Vol. 14, No. 1, Spring 1988
mitive state, that most patients who were afflicted with what we now
consider to be “simple” sexual problems, were doomed to remain dys-
functional o r to d o without sex entirely for the rest of their lives. But
today, largely because of Masters and Johnson’s truly linear innovations,
sexual disorders have become the most readily treatable human ills and
have, for the most part, excellent Certainly much of my
own work has consisted of extending Masters and Johnson’s basic sex
therapy model in a circular manner.
1 was asked to address the question: Are sexual phobias, inhibited sexual
desire (ISD), and other sexual avoidance behaviors symptomatic manifestations of
intrapsychic barriers to emotional closeness?
O n the basis of our experience over the past 15 years with more than
Downloaded by [Central Michigan University] at 03:10 28 December 2014
3,000 couples and individual patients with sexual difficulties, the answer
is very clear: In some cases a patient’s phobic avoidance of sex is quite
obviously an expression of intrapsychic conflicts about intimacy, while in
other cases sexual aversion can be traced to entirely different causes.
T h e relationship between intimacy and sexual passion is very complex,
with cultural as well as intrapsychic variables determining the extent to
which an individual can meld emotional closeness and sexual passion for
the same person. In some societies, sexuality is considered more as an
art form like dancing, than as an expression of love. Thus, for example,
the notion that he should develop a long-term committed relationship
with each Geisha partner would probably seem ludicrous to a Japanese
gentleman. But the ideal vision of sexuality in our romantic Western
tradition is as an inseparable part of commitment and love, and we tend
to denigrate the “zipless f ~ c k or ” ~“the business of sex,”5 that is, physical
love outside of a long-term, monogamous relationship. This attitude is
reflected in the American health establishment’s position that the expres-
sion of physical lust between two strangers, whose primary point of con-
tact is limited to their commitment to the shared erotic pleasure of the
moment, is pathological, o r at best undesirable and, if habitual, many
therapists believe the person requires treatment.
I do not share this view. I n my clinical experience the truly healthy
man or woman can enjoy a sensuous, erotic encounter with an attractive
stranger, but also has the capacity to experience ongoing erotic passion
as an integral part of an intimately shared life.
That is not to say of course, that real commitment and intimacy conflicts
don’t exist. Of course they do. In fact, these neurotic patterns are com-
mon, and often highly destructive, driving the person again and again,
like the doomed Sisyphus, from relationship to relationship, while the
pleasures of an unfractured, emotionally close, companionable shared
life eternally elude him.
l h e Madonna-Whore syndrome* is clearly pathological, but it is just
as pathological if a person can enjoy erotic pleasure only with a partner
who loves him/her deeply, is exclusively committed to him/her, and with
* l h e inability to maintain sexual arousal within an intimate and committed relationship has been
termed the Madonna-Whore complex in the psychoanalytic literature. However, this is a misnomer,
as this syndrome also occurs in wonien.
Intimacy Disorders and Sexual Panic Slates 5
I n sex therapy with individuals who suffer from this kind of “emotional
claustrophobia,” we attempt to widen their constricted emotional “com-
fort zone” by “severing the past from the present.”’
Panic Disorder
A brief description of the clinical features of panic disorder may clarify
how this syndrome predisposes the individual to develop intimacy and
*D.F. Klein initially called the condition now known as panic disorder, “phobic-anxiety syn-
dronic.”l”
**At the suggestion of Ursula Schaeffer we divided the 373 individuals in our sample who had
primary complaints of low sexual frequency into “quiet”and “phobic” avoiders.
***We borrowed our definition of low sexual frequency from Raul Schiavi, namely, less h m one
sexual encounter every two iueeki. In actual fact, in almost all of our cases the frequency was considerably
lower.
****There were 10 cases in rhis group. ’Two met the criteria for classic panic disorder, eight had
atypical manifestations of’phobic anxiety syndrome. All the differences cited above were significant
at < .OO 1.
Inlimacy Disorders and Sexual Panic Slates 7
*The following types of drugs h a w been found to raise abnormally low panic thresholds: tricyclic
antidepressants (e.g. Tofranil, Norpramin), monoarninoxidase inhibitors (e.g. Nardil, Marplan),
aprezolam (Xanax), trazedoric (Desyrel).’~.l”lH.’~
8 Journal of Sex €3Marital Therapy, Vol. 14, No. I, Spring I988
Clinical Illustrations
the wife climaxes with clitoral stimulation and not on penetration. Sim-
ilarly, rejection-sensitive women may take anything less than an instant,
ramrod hard erection and perfect ejaculatory control as a personal af-
front. These anxious partners create an ambience of performance pres-
sure for themselves and for their lovers, which frequently results in the
couple avoiding sex.
A partner’s sexual panic not only is a major cause of sexual dysfunction
but may give rise to serious resistance to treatment. These anxious in-
dividuals are often exceedingly threatened by the prospect of a partner’s
improvement, even though they desperately want this. For example, dur-
ing sex therapy, the vulnerable partner sometimes spoils the relaxed
Downloaded by [Central Michigan University] at 03:10 28 December 2014
ousies and insatiable emotional demands, which may ultimately cause the
partner to avoid sex.
As another example, “sex talk” during lovemaking is perfectly normal
and can enhance the couple’s sexual pleasure, providing both are turned
on by this. But sex is best for many equally normal individuals if they
distance themselves somewhat and focus on their erotic sensations and
on their fantasies. These individuals need to “tune out” the distractions
of their environment when they are making love, and the pressure to
take care of the partner’s emotional needs interferes with their sexual
functioning and pleasure. But the anxious partner requires the opposite
emotional conditions to enjoy sex, namely an intensely maintained emo-
tional closeness. These rejection-sensitive individuals pressure their part-
Downloaded by [Central Michigan University] at 03:10 28 December 2014
RECONCEPTUALIZING T H E DYNAMICS OF
T H E COUPLE’S SEXUAL PROBLEM
During the initial sesson with couples who present with phony intimacy
problems I often deliberately create a controlled therapeutic crisis by
raising the question as to who actually has the problem. I n such a case,
I say to the one who complains about the other’s “emotional remoteness”:
“I can see that you must feel shut out and abandoned and that you (to
the one who has been accused of insufficient intimacy) feel very pres-
sured, but I can’t tell at this point if you (to the “rejected” one) are
excessively needy or if you (to the “nonintimate” one) are abnormally de-
tached or incapable of emotional closeness. We will need more infor-
mation to figure that out.” Sometimes, when the panicky partner’s
emotional demands are clearly outrageous I am more direct: “I believe
that your demands for attention and companionship and communication
are excessive and would turn off any partner. I would be glad to help
y o u with this problem.”
Such a reconceptualization of the couple’s complaint often amazes and
bitterly disappoints the anxious spouse, who had fully expected the ther-
apist would side with him/her in hidher quest for “greater intimacy.” But
this confrontation is a vast relief for the partner who had been labeled;
as “sick,” and who feared that successful therapy would entail total emo-
Intimacy Disorders and Sexual Panic States 11
tional slavery. At the same time, this therapeutic strategy serves to engage
the reluctant “nonintimate” partner in the treatment process.
It should be emphasized that similar commitment and intimacy prob-
lems and identical relationship difficulties also occur in patients with
biologically normal CNS anxiety regulating mechanisms. It is of utmost
importance for the clinician to distinguish between couples who have
underlying drug-responsive anxiety disorders and those who d o not.
Antipanic medication is indicated for the former, while pharmacotherapy
is inappropriate for patients with intimacy problems and sexual avoidance
patterns who have biologically normal thresholds for anxiety.
T h e emotional vulnerability to separation, rejection and panic in pa-
tients with underlying panic disorders has a biological basis which cannot
Downloaded by [Central Michigan University] at 03:10 28 December 2014
REFERENCES
1. Mastcrs W H , Johnson V: The human sexual response. Boston, Little, Brown, 1966.
2. Masters WH, Jonson V: Human sexual inadequacy. Boston, Little, Brown, 1970.
3. Masters WH, Johnson V: Homosexuality in perspective. Boston, Little, Brown, 1979.
4. Jong E: Thefear offlying. New York, Holt, 1973.
5. O C o n n o r D: How to have sex with one person the rest of your life and love it. New York,
Doubletlay, 1985.
6. Kaplan HS: Hypoactive sexual desire.] Sex Marital Ther 3(1): 3-9, 1977.
12 Journal of Sex &?Marital Therapy, Vol. 14, N o . 1, Spring I988