Chapter 14

The Church

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They arrived at the address in the early evening.

It was a church, a big creepy church, with a big creepy four-prong steeple. It was dusk and the light on the church made it look really creepy. But there were cars lined up all along the street. Probably like 50 cars. It looked strange. It must be like some sort of secret society! Veronica said. You think? asked Jason. He was absentmindedly eating CornNuts again. It was fresh bag, a big one, like 6 pounds worth. He must have found more at the last gas station. Delilah looked glumly at the church and the cars and the gang. She didnt have much interest in this adventure anymore. Now that Derek was gone, and never coming back, ever. It was as if she was a sailboat and the wind has been taken out of her sails. She had been heartbroken in the beginning, when she realized that all of her friends and family had probably been murdered by the death robots. But Derek had given her hope. He reminded her that there was still a chance that her people were alive and that they might just be able to defeat this robot invasion if they stuck together. And then when they made sex, she realized that there was still at least some sort of civilization on the planet. Even if her family and friends were maimed and dead or had to become slaves and butlers for the robots, in that van they were still human beings and she was a woman and he was a man, he had a penis and she had a vagina, and they would succeed somehow. But now he was gone. They marched up to the creepy church and carefully knocked on the big heavy door. After a moment someone came to the door. And opened it. 97

One of the secret society guys appeared in his strange garments. He was wearing a flannel shirt and trousers made from denim, but they werent exactly jeans, I cant explain it. They just looked off. He looked like a lumberjack. These people were one of those ancient secret trade societies, like the Masons. Perhaps the Woodcutters - formed in the 1700s under harsh Colonial Rule in order to further their secret woodcutting agendas. The man looked a little surprised to see them. The gang didnt say anything. Welcome, he said. Hi, said Veronica, we were told to come here by a friend. Thats great! the man said cheerfully. He saw Jasons CornNuts and took them. CornNuts! He said politely. I havent had these in years. Follow me. They followed the man into the creepy church and down a hallway and to a creepy stairwell (more dated then creepy, carpeted with quarter inch grayish stuff, like a school, and painted harvest gold.) The gang was glad to have been invited in, but going down the stairs seemed a little scary, descending into the lair of the secret society, but to what end! The professor had sent them here. But they barely knew him, and now that Derek was dead, they had no connection to him at all. What was in store for them? Was the antidote here, or were they some sort of grizzly offering to the woodcutting-tree-god! They followed him down the stairs anyway. They could hear people now, distant and in low tones. It sounded almost like chanting but that could have just been their minds bending the sounds in their heads. Then through a door. 98

And into a giant basement room, a cafeteria looking room, and thats where all the people were. Everyone stopped talking and looked up at the newcomers They were dressed not in the uniform of the first woodcutter, the one that had let them in, and taken their CornNuts. They werent wearing flannel and weird jeans, but their clothes were similar, dull colors and strange patterns as if they had all come from the same Salvation Army store. Their guide walked over to a table and set the bag of CornNuts down on it among some slightly more pleasant looking food. Some of the people in the cafeteria said hello kindly and smiled and nodded to greet them, welcome them. This wasnt the congregation of a dangerous secret society. It wasnt that at all! It was a pot luck dinner! It was a New England bean supper!

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A lady in the front stood up and came over to them and shook their hands. And where are you from? Indianapolis, Veronica said. Actually Im from Toronto, Albert said, distinguishing himself for some reason. Well thats just great, the woman said. But youre late. Better grab a plate and catch up with the rest of us! She seemed nice. The gang did as they were told, and wanted to. The food was totally just regular junk that poor people eat, but man, was it awesome. They had been living out of gas stations days now, like totally a couple of days. The food here probably had the same low nutritional value and high sodium content as the gas station stuff, but it was just what that ineffective doctor ordered. There were casseroles and ham and macaroni and cheese sort of stirred together and the central baked beans of course, and some chicken cordon blue cutlets that had come individually wrapped probably. There were no fresh vegetables there at all. They didnt seem to be the kind of people who love salad or anything, but I think maybe if you brought some, they might eat it.

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The gang ate hungrily without speaking for seven whole minutes. Then Veronica realized how gross they were being and started talking. So you do this every week? She asked Lord no. Not every week. Thatd be too much. Once a month or so. It depends on what else is going on. During the playoffs we dont do anything. And around elections everyone is too busy to get together. Here. Ill give you a schedule. The woman got up and went to a bulletin board and took down a sheet of paper and brought it back to them. It was a laboriously but poorly designed document, a sheet of orange paper, seasonal probably, with a calendar on it. It showed the next three months and had little things written on it, some were church related and others were more just normal holidays. And on four of the days there was a picture of a knife and a fork crossed. What does the knife and fork mean? asked Jason. Its when they have these dinners, Veronica said annoyed. It was pretty obvious. Thats right, said the woman. And you are welcome to come back any time. And bring a few friends with you too. The more the merrier. What about the robots? No. Not them. No I mean what about the invasion and the end of days and everything? asked Delilah. I know its hard. Those god forsaken greed robots are wrecking up the whole place. But that makes these potlucks even more important. The robots might come up here, they might not. If they do, then well have to see what happens. But community is important. And you cant just hole up in your house and hope for the best. You have to help eachother out sometimes, and 101

lend your neighbor your lawnmower or bake a casserole or roast a chicken if you can afford it and enjoy it with friends. Jason nodded in agreement. He had enjoyed the chicken After dinner a guy made some remarks thanking everyone for coming and all their hard work. Then there was some cleaning up to do. Delilah, Veronica and even Jason helped out. Albert however, did not. He didnt even lift a finger. What a jerk.

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