Deacon Michael Gray reflects on 15 years of ministry

By Laura Iunghuhn for The Catholic Moment

When discerning a path for adult life, the Church often emphasizes four paths for an individual’s
primary vocation: marriage, religious life, priesthood, or single life. In each of these relationship-
oriented roles, we answer our call to holiness in a unique way. In service to others, whether that
be a spouse, children, a parish community, or the public, we come to know, love, follow, and
serve God with our minds, bodies, and spirits. In most circumstances, a person may only answer
the call to one of these four primary vocations at a time. However, there are a few that God calls
to serve on more than one front: as a spouse and a member of the clergy.

Priests are ordained deacons as a stepping stone to the priesthood; however, some married men
are called to the permanent diaconate. Permanent deacons are ministers in the Church and are
called to functions of the Word, Sacrament, and Charity in a more formal way than married laity.
According to the USCCB, there are more than 13,000 permanent deacons in the United States
that serve as a sacramental sign to the Church and to the Word of Christ, reminding us that Jesus
created the Church to serve and not be served.

This year, Deacon Mike Gray is celebrating his 15-year anniversary as a permanent deacon and
his answered call to serve both the domestic and institutional Churches.

Deacon Mike was born and baptized in Illinois and grew up in Chicago and Michigan before his
family finally settled in Delphi, Indiana. He went to college in Louisville, Kentucky, where he
met his wife, Peg. After graduation, they remained in Louisville for a time before moving to
Evansville, Indiana, where Deacon Mike obtained a job in medical electronics, working as a
technician for heart monitors. After five years, they moved to Lafayette, and he worked at Eli
Lilly, now Evonik, until he retired.

Deacon Mike first attended the Cursillo retreat 26 years ago and has continued to participate
since. Cursillo aims to strengthen an individual’s Christian life through encounters with Christ,
the Christian community, and the self. Part of this process is helping attendees recognize and
answer the call to personal vocations.

As a result of the Cursillo Method, Deacon Mike started meeting with Fr. Tim Alkire for
spiritual direction. “One day, Fr. Tim mentioned that I would’ve made a great priest and asked if
I had ever considered the permanent diaconate,” Deacon Mike recalled. “I was caught off guard
a little bit and said, ‘Well, I’m not worthy for that.’ And Fr. Tim said, ‘Of course, you’re not
worthy, but are you called to it?’” After Fr. Tim planted the seed, Mike began to discern if he
was called to the permanent diaconate. He discussed the role with his wife and friends at St.
Boniface, his home parish.

At that time, the permanent diaconate program in the diocese was relatively new – Deacon Mike
was part of the second cohort after Bishop Emeritus Higi introduced the program. “In the early
days, diaconate formation wasn’t as precise as it is now,” Deacon Mike reflected. So, his
formation process looked a lot different than it does today.
Before applying to the diaconate program, Mike had to obtain his Ecclesial Lay Ministry
Certificate. The certificate required 20 hours at St. Joseph’s College in Rensselaer, which he had
to balance between a full-time job and time with his family. Then, both Mike and his wife had to
fill out a lengthy application and participate in a series of interviews conducted by diocesan
priests, deacons, and staff. This gives the Church an opportunity to discern a candidate’s
vocation as well. “It’s a two-way street,” Deacon Mike said.

The Church determined that Mike did indeed have a vocation to the permanent diaconate, and he
and his wife entered into four years of formation. “In the early days, it took getting a rhythm to
it,” he recalled. One weekend a month, Mike, Peg, and the other members of the cohort traveled
to Kokomo for lectures and the academic portion of formation. In between meetings, they
completed assigned readings and wrote essays. Each year, Deacon Mike also had to complete a
field ministry, and he worked in hospice, at hospitals, and in prisons. “It was good experience,”
he said, “and the longer we did it, the more we gained a rhythm. It just became part of our lives.”

An important part of formation for deacons is learning how to integrate this new vocation with
life’s current obligations. “They teach us how to prioritize,” Deacon Mike said. “God first, then
family, then work, and then the diaconate.” The diocese asks that deacons give 10-15 hours to
the Church each week; this was Deacon Mike’s starting point since he worked full-time for his
first 10 years as a permanent deacon. Now that he’s retired, he often gives more of his time,
especially when he’s not spending time with his mother, daughter, and grandchildren.

However, learning to balance his various obligations is an ongoing challenge for Deacon Mike.
“I have a tendency to not say no and then get overwhelmed,” he admitted. “I can’t do everything
and have to remind myself to do what I can and do the best I can.”

As a deacon, Mike has served as the Personnel Director for the Permanent Deacons, the Master
of Ceremonies for Confirmations at various diocesan parishes, and more recently has assisted
parishes with developing their pastorate vision plans as part of Uniting in Heart. Currently, he is
the Parish Life Coordinator at the Church of the Blessed Sacrament in West Lafayette. “I love it
here; it’s a beautiful parish,” he said. “I told Bishop Doherty, ‘Maybe this can be this permanent
deacon’s permanent home.’”

Though his work for the Church has been incredibly fulfilling, Deacon Mike identifies the
relationships he has developed along the way as one of his greatest blessings. “Our group was
always close-knit,” he reflected. “We’d always meet before a formation weekend and have a
social time at one another’s parishes as couples to share a meal and check in with each other.”

The relationships Deacon Mike developed with his brother deacons and their wives have been a
source of strength through life’s hardships. He was able to lean on them for support when his
daughter Nancy passed away 14 years ago and again when his wife Peg died about five and a
half years ago. Deacon John Jezierski, who preached at Peg’s funeral, had surgery shortly after,
and “through my mourning process and his recovery, we ministered to one another for a couple
of months,” Deacon Mike shared. “We leaned on one another and had great talks.”
Despite the challenges of the job and the emotional hardships, Deacon Mike is continually
grateful that he answered the call to the permanent diaconate. “Deacon Mike has always
embraced his vocation as a deacon, doing whatever is asked of him,” said Chuck Bunnell, a
coworker and close friend of Deacon Mike. “In good times and bad, his strong faith and trust in
our Lord are an example to those who are acquainted with him.”

Through every moment, Deacon Mike is reminded that God is with him through every trial and
every joy. “You have to rely on God for everything,” he said. “There’s no other way you can
follow your vocation.”