i

THE DIGITAL CUPID: THE IMPACT OF FILIPINOCUPID.COM ON THE

ATTITUDES OF FILIPINO WOMEN TOWARDS ONLINE DATING

JEDIDIAH REUBEN CABITAC CLEMENTE

ELIJAH MARIE BALTAZAR DAGUIO
ANJALIEGH MAISIE SOLIS PANES

Submitted to the
Department of Communication
COLLEGE OF ARTS AND COMMUNICATION
University of the Philippines Baguio
In partial fulfillment of the requirements
for the degree of
BACHELOR OF ARTS IN COMMUNICATION

MAY 2015
 ii

THE DIGITAL CUPID: THE IMPACT OF FILIPINOCUPID.COM ON THE

ATTITUDES OF FILIPINO WOMEN TOWARDS ONLINE DATING

by

JEDIDIAH REUBEN CABITAC CLEMENTE

ELIJAH MARIE BALTAZAR DAGUIO
ANJALIEGH MAISIE SOLIS PANES

has been accepted for

the degree of Bachelor of Arts in Communication

Christian Ezekiel M. Fajardo

Adviser

Prof. Jimmy B. Fong, Ph.D.

Chair, Department of Communication

and approved for the College of Arts and Communication

University of the Philippines Baguio

By

Prof. Anna Christie V. Torres, Ph.D.

Dean, College of Arts and Communication
 iii

ABSTRACT

Clemente, Jedidiah Reuben C., Elijah Marie B. Daguio, and Anjaliegh Masie S. Panes.
2015. “The Digital Cupid: The Impact of FilipinoCupid.com on the Attitudes of
Filipino Women towards Online Dating.” Bachelor’s thesis, University of the
Philippines Baguio.

This study investigated the world of niche online dating in Barangay Arnedo,

Bolinao, Pangasinan, Philippines. It explored the impact of FilipinoCupid.com on the

attitudes of the female online daters towards online dating. The researchers interviewed

Filipino women who have been using FilipinoCupid.com for at least one year. Fifteen

(15) women aged 18 to 45 were interviewed about their online dating experiences.

Data gathering was divided into two phases. The first phase began with the search

for respondents through snowball sampling. To locate participants whose credibility

could be verified and who we can contact again for verification and follow-up interviews,

we started off by interviewing a key informant who is a user of FilipinoCupid.com and

knows other women that date online. Questionnaires were also employed to collect

respondents’ demographic data and to know their online dating habits and activity. The

second phase of data gathering involved one-on-one interviews with the respondents.

Data from the questionnaires were analyzed quantitatively. Data from the interviews, on

the other hand, were analyzed qualitatively. The researchers used Marshall McLuhan’s

theory of Media Ecology to explain the results of the study.

This study proved that the online dating site FilipinoCupid.com has a significant

impact on the attitudes of Filipino women towards online dating. Moreover, the study

discovered the reasons and motivations of these women for engaging in online dating.
 iv

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PAGE
Title Page i
Approval Sheet ii
Abstract iii
Table of Contents iv
List of Tables vi
List of Figures vii

CHAPTER

I. INTRODUCTION 1
Background of the Study 1
Statement of the Problem and Objectives 3
Objectives of the Study
Significance of the Study 4
Scope and Delimitation 4

II. RESEARCH FRAMEWORK 6

Review of Related Literature 6
McLuhan, the Cyberspace, and the Age of dot-coms 6
Computer-Mediated Relationships: Reel o Real? 9
Online Dating 14
Motivations for Online Dating 16
Relationship “bytes”: Internet and Infidelity 20
Self-concept 22
The Impact of Online Dating on Attitude Formation 24
Social Norms, Sexualization, and Objectification 25
Synthesis 26
Framework for the Analysis 27
Theoretical Level 27
Conceptual Level 29
Operational Level 32
Definition of Terms 34

III. RESEARCH METHODOLOGY 35

Research Design 35
Population and Sample 36
Research Instrument 36
Data Generation Plan 37
Data Analysis Plan 38
 v

IV. RESULTS AND DISCUSSIONS 40

Demographics of Respondents 40
The Rise of FilipinoCupid.com 44
Online Dating Habits and Activity on FilipinoCupid.com 47
Reasons for Engaging in Online Dating 50
Impact of FilipinoCupid.com on Attitudes towards Online Dating 60
What They Think of Online Dating 61
How They Feel About Online Dating 69
How Online Dating Affects Their Behavior 71

V. SUMMARY, CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS 73

Summary 73
Conclusions 74
Recommendations 75

REFERENCE LIST 77
APPENDIX A : Written Consent for Participation in Research 83
APPENDIX B : Survey Questionnaire 85
APPENDIX C : Interview Guide Questions 87
APPENDIX D : Respondents’ Profile 88
APPENDIX E : One-on-one Interview Transcription 89
 vi

LIST OF TABLES

NO. PAGE

1 Respondents’ Marital Status 42

2 Respondents’ Employment Status 44
3 How respondents found FilipinoCupid.com 45
 vii

LIST OF FIGURES

NO. PAGE

1 Conceptual Diagram 30
2 Operational Diagram 32
3 Respondents’ Age 40
4 Screenshot of Google search results for the keyword “filipina dating” 46
5 Places where respondents access FilipinoCupid.com 47
6 Respondents’ frequency of using FilipinoCupid.com 48
7 An advertisement of FilipinoCupid.com 68
 1

Chapter I. Introduction

Background of the Study

Means and patterns have progressed through time. Inventions and innovations in

communication technologies have enabled drastic changes in the way people perceive

and utilize mass media. This chapter describes how one of the latest media technologies,

namely the Internet has altered many people’s communication experience, their

perception of the Internet, and ultimately, their way of life.

The dawning of Internet age in the early 1990s and widespread commercialization

in the mid-1990s have given way to innovations in communication, primarily by paving

the way for faster and easier communication even across nations (Lyon 2002; Hanson

2008) through computer-mediated communication (CMC), or the “wide-range of

technologies that facilitate both human communication and the interactive sharing of

information through computer networks including e-mail, chat, instant messages, and

Web pages” (Barnes 2003, 4).

The invention of sophisticated communication technologies revolutionized

interpersonal communication, enabling people who live even continents apart speak with

one another real-time and at a very minimal cost. The world became a digital gap away

and geographical boundaries and time zones do not seem to matter as much as they did

decades ago.

This is the ultimate manifestation of Marshall McLuhan’s studies that argued that

the world would soon be a global village. McLuhan’s studies dates back to the 1950s to

1960s and at that time were not highly appreciated. It was then too bizarre and futuristic.
 2

Today, however, its relevance in the field of communication cannot be discounted

(Levinson 2000).

Nowadays, the Internet plays a very important role in creating and transmitting

values, beliefs, perceptions, and culture among its users. For one, talking with strangers

over the Web has become somewhat normal. Eventually, many people who met online

started to enter a romantic relationship with someone they met online. Internet dating or

online dating has become globally popular since it was introduced to the public in early

1990s (Finkell et al. 2012). Online dating has then become a favored avenue for millions

of individuals seeking for potential partners as it affords them to connect to more people

in a way that is both time and cost-efficient (Lawson and Leck 2010).

The popularity of Internet dating in the Philippines is undeniable. Several

researchers have done studies about online relationships and online dating among

Filipinos (Rondina 2004; Morales 2004; Dela Cruz and Publico 2005; Dumlao and

Mangyao 2010; Gutierrez and Oca 2012; Malitao and Seastres 2012). The prevalence of

online dating in communities around the country such as Barangay Arnedo, Bolinao,

Pangasinan is something phenomenal.

Bolinao is a third class municipality located in Western Pangasinan. Given its

geographic location, farming and fishing are the residents’ primary sources of income.

Most women in Barangay Arnedo, who engage in online dating, work as market vendors

and fish sellers. These women date online through FilipinoCupid.com, “a specialist

dating and matchmaking website that assists people from the Philippines and Western

backgrounds” (FilipinoCupid.com 2015, 1). FilipinoCupid.com, formerly known as

Filipinaheart.com, was founded in 2006 and to date is subscribed by over two million
 3

Filipino women. It allows Filipino women to search for potential romantic partners from

other countries.

Statement of the Problem and Objectives

What are the impacts of FilipinoCupid.com on the attitudes of female online

daters towards online dating?

General Objective

This study sought to explore the impact of FilipinoCupid.com on the attitudes of

Filipino women in Barangay Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan towards online dating.

Specific Objectives

1. To discuss how female online daters in Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan discovered

the dating site FilipinoCupid.com;

2. To illustrate the online dating activity and habits of female online daters in

Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan on FilipinoCupid.com:

a. To locate where they access FilipinoCupid.com

b. To identify the frequency and amount of time they spend on

FilipinoCupid.com

3. To enumerate the reasons of women in Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan for online

dating; and

4. To analyze the impacts of FilipinoCupid.com on the attitude formation of Filipino

women in Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan.

 4

Significance of the Study

Having an account in any social networking sites (SNS) like Facebook, LinkedIn,

Twitter, and Tumblr has become a trend. The significant number of SNS users paved the

way for researchers to study about computer-mediated communication. Chatting, viewing

other people's profile, editing pictures to be posted and other activities involving how a

user presents their virtual selves has become a huge part of individuals who use social

networking sites. Those activities are significant as looking neat and pleasant in face-to-

face interaction (Kim 2002). Because of that, those different social networking sites are

now subject to criticisms, scrutiny, and researches. With this in mind, the researcher

found it relevant to study the impact of the online community, namely,

FilipinoCupid.com on the attitudes of Filipino women in Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan

towards online dating.

Scope and Delimitation

The research did not attempt to be an over-all-comprehensive study on computer-

mediated-communication. It generally focused on FilipinoCupid.com and its users. This

study considered females aged 18 to 45, who lives in Barangay Arnedo, Bolinao,

Pangasinan and owns an account on FilipinoCupid.com, as respondents. The study

focused on the impact of FilipinoCupid.com on the attitudes of Filipino women towards

online dating.

The method used in gathering data for this study is qualitative research. The

researcher used survey questionnaires, which were handed personally to 15 respondents.

 5

One-on-one interviews were conducted with the respondents in line with their answers on

the questionnaire.

The answers were analyzed with the use of Marshall McLuhan’s theory of Media

Ecology.
 6

Chapter II. Research Framework

This chapter presents a review of related literature that provides the necessary

background for the purpose of this research. It also presents the theoretical and

conceptual basis of this study, and an operational model that will be utilized by the

researchers for data analysis. Moreover, it provides an operational definition of concepts

that will be used throughout the study.

Review of Related Literature

This section features books, journals, articles, and prior studies such as theses,

dissertations, and conference proceedings that helped us better understand our topic,

problem, concepts, and their interrelationships. This chapter discusses the Internet and

how it has altered communication patterns; how online dating has changed the formation

of romantic relationships; and how online dating has affected the perspectives of the

research participants.

McLuhan, the Cyberspace, and the Age of dot-coms

This section narrates how the Internet has changed the way people view and

utilize the mass media. It describes how Marshall McLuhan’s ideas have been relevant

today more than ever.

 7

Marshall McLuhan’s Understanding Media dates back to the sixties. However, its

insights appear to be exceptionally current (Miani 1999; Levinson 2000). McLuhan

(1964) argued that the media are extensions of man. Through the cyberspace, or the

“space” shared over the Internet, McLuhan’s idea of media being extensions of man has

become more evident. The Internet is now considered to be a very efficient and one of the

most important technological platforms as it provides opportunity for interactivity that

was not available in older forms of mass media (Henten and Tadayoni 2008). In a classic

McLuhan sense, therefore, the Internet indeed serves as an extension of man (Bakker and

Sádaba 2008).

The Internet serves as an extension of man’s faculties and senses. It is an

extension of man’s eyes – enabling him to see the world through photos and videos

uploaded on various websites. The Internet also serves as an extension of man’s ears, like

providing the opportunity to hear recorded sounds that are shared on the Web, such as

speeches of important and prominent people. The Internet has also become an extension

of one’s thoughts. What used to be written in a diary tucked under the sheets for privacy

has become public – shared with one’s friends and followers on social media.

The Internet also serves as the manifestation of McLuhan’s concept of global

village. The term seemed somewhat out of place when McLuhan coined it in the 1950s as

communication scholars thought it was too bizarre and impossibly futuristic (Levinson

2000). Today, however, the reality that we are living in a global village could not

possibly be more evident. Perhaps one of the most practical evidence of this is that,

today, interested citizens from all over the world can easily know what is happening in
 8

other parts of the world by reading thousands of newspapers and magazines that have

made their way on the World Wide Web (van der Wuff 2008).

Living in a global village has also proven to be of great help, especially in times

of need. When a natural disaster hits a country, for example, news and appeals for help

reach other nations faster than it ever did. Memories of how super typhoon Yolanda

devastated the Visayas region and how fast support of different sorts came from different

countries are still very vivid in the minds of many Filipinos. Through the help of several

countries who knew what has happened because of updates posted on the Internet, the

typhoon survivors were given much-needed assistance. The international community —

our neighbors in this global village — wasted no time in sending whatever help they

could give (Lum and Margesson 2014). Mobilizing people has never been as fast, and in

just a few days, the much-needed help reached its destination.

This age of www’s and dot-coms has caused evident changes on how people

perceive and use mass media. No other medium has offered its users so much power and

opportunities. The Internet has exceeded the functions served by the older media as

source of information and entertainment. Given its interactive feature, the

Internet has also become “a strong personal communication vehicle” (Bakker and Sádaba

2008, 87). Through the Internet, one can enjoy real-time conversations with people who

live even in another continent. Anybody who used to communicate with people overseas

through snail mail would attest how the Internet has eroded geographical boundaries and

enabled them to enjoy a better communication experience.

 9

Computer-Mediated Relationships: Reel or Real?

This sub-topic provides a backgrounder on computer-mediated communication

and how it has changed the course of relationship development for many individuals.

This section also discusses how the Internet has not always been accepted as a

“relationship builder” and how theorists used to critique it for supposedly ruining “real”

relationships.

The Internet is one of the newest media industries and a proof and product of the

“progressive trend toward the expansion of human knowledge” (Hanson 2008, 13). The

dawning of Internet age in the early 1950s and its widespread commercialization in 1960s

have given way to innovations in communication, primarily by paving the way for faster,

easier, and more cost-efficient communication even across nations (Lyon 2002; Hanson

2008). Through computer-mediated communication or the “wide-range of technologies

that facilitate both human communication networks including e-mail, chat, instant

messages, and Web pages” (Barnes 2003, 4), geographical boundaries and time zones no

longer seem to matter as they did decades ago.

However, the Internet has not always been a star and computer-mediated

communication has not always been popular. A school of thought pioneered by Beninger

(1987), Baudrillard (1983), and Nunes (1995) claimed that computer-mediated

communication (CMC) couldn’t satisfy the human need for meaningful relationships

because it alienates and leaves the individual unfulfilled. Furthermore, they argued that

the limitations of CMC do not provide a constructive start for relationship and hence

cannot be a venue for meaningful friendships (quoted in Dela Cruz and Publico 2005).
 10

Older literature in CMC used to describe it as an inadequate tool for maintaining

interpersonal relationships. Theorists and critics such as Zuboff (1991), Reid (1991;

1997), and Besser (1995) argued that the Internet is detrimental to interpersonal

relationships as it lessens face-to-face interactions, which were at one time considered to

be the only “real” relationships (Wood 2003).

Walter Dela Cruz and Marco Publico (2005) conducted a study on how selected

Baguio-based Internet users utilized Internet to interact with people who they have never

met outside the cyberspace. They found out that a significant number of respondents do

not consider meeting any of the chatters outside the computer-mediated setting primarily

because they may have perceived that “friendships” made in cyberspace are “cold and

impersonal” and the person met in the chat room is not perceived as someone who could

be a friend (Dela Cruz and Publico 2005, 59).

On the other hand, researchers from more advanced countries that had more

Internet users suggested that CMC is just one of the manifestations of the evolution of the

patterns and means of communication. When Dela Cruz and Publico conducted their

study in 2005, the percentage of Internet users in the Philippines per 100 people was only

5.4% (World Bank 2015). Dela Cruz and Publico mentioned in their study that their

research participants only accessed Web services from Internet cafés. It therefore implied

that they only had limited time for interaction with their chat-mates, hence they were not

able to build strong connections that would have led to healthy relationships. We say it is

not the CMC per se. It is not that CMC is not a feasible tool for maintaining relationships.

Instead, it is the limited time that Dela Cruz and Publico’s participants were able to spend

with their chat-mates. Any relationship, even those that are built in the ‘physical world’
 11

rather than within the cyberspace, would suffer if connections are limited and if no

significant amount of time is spent together. Time and regular communication are very

much important in any interpersonal relationship, and without those two, any relationship

would eventually deteriorate.

In the West, particularly in the United States, on the other hand, the Internet has

already been accepted as a social institution where people can expand their social

networks and build and maintain interpersonal relationships since the late 1990s (Anstey

1999; Raney 2000; McKenna, Green, and Gleason 2002). Furthermore, Communication

Studies Professor Nancy Baym (2002) argued that there were actually individuals who

have successfully used the Internet to initiate and maintain what turned out to be healthy

and happy relationships. During that time, Internet connections were already fairly

common in homes and offices in the United States. It therefore implied that these people

who claimed to have been able to build and maintain strong and happy relationships over

the Web had constant access on the Internet. They did not have to go to an Internet café

because they can talk with their chat-mates anytime – even in the comfort and privacy of

their homes.

Sociologist Everett Wilson explained that increase of interaction in a shared space

would cause higher chance of developing a relationship (1971). This covers both

friendship and romantic relationships. In the U.S. where it was already common for

households and offices to have their own Internet access as early as the 1990s, more

people had higher tendencies to spend more time online. They thus have better chances of

sharing more conversations and eventually building deeper relationships with people who

they met online.

 12

An undergraduate thesis submitted to the University of the Philippines Baguio in

2004 entitled A Study on the Effects of Computer-mediated-communication on the Social

Relationships of Selected Internet Participants in Baguio City by Angela Morales sought

to investigate the effectiveness of CMC in initiating interpersonal relationships. Morales

found out that individuals who spent more time “nurturing” the relationships within the

borders of Cyberspace, such as exchanging electronic mails, motivated the individuals to

eventually meet face-to-face and continue with the relationship. She debunked the idea

that CMC disrupts people from enjoying healthy interpersonal relationships and argued

that just like face-to-face relationships, the willingness of people to invest time and pour

their heart out are the key to enjoying healthy interpersonal relationships.

Dumlao and Mangyao (2010) examined how gays in Baguio City use the Internet

as a “relationship builder.” They found out that two chatters are highly probable to meet

online when social media are used strategically – that is, when they engage in effective

self-presentation and finally earn the trust and interest of another social media user. Dela

Cruz and Publico (2005) also considered one’s online profile in social networking sites as

extension of their physical bodies. They explained that as one grooms his or her physical

body in order to become more attractive, so does users of social networking sites invest

time in maintaining and revising their online profiles. Creative and successful online

embodiment is the key to attracting people in the cyberspace. Bromseth and Sunden

(2013) explained that “thinking online embodiment through notions of play and

performance is thinking through the many ways in which body is created, recreated, and

evoked in online worlds through image, text, and sound” (275). The Internet gives users
 13

the liberty to create an image according to their tastes and desires. Online embodiment

allows a person to look and be at his or her best – at least within the cyberspace.

We therefore say that CMC-based relationships are not very different from face-

to-face ones. For one, they both start with attraction. This is not necessarily about being

romantically or sexually interested in a person. Attraction in this context simply means

wanting to build a relationship with a person—perhaps befriend him or her. Common

interests are what usually lead two persons together. The willingness to invest time with

the other person is what sustains the relationship in the long run. Computer-mediated

communication can be a tool for building and maintaining relationships if people would

be willing to spend time together. Perhaps two chat-mates can arrange a common time

that is convenient for the both of them so they can talk.

Interestingly, online gaming has also become an avenue where people meet their

sweethearts. Gutierrez and Oca (2012) interviewed 10 dating couples who met through

Philippine Ragnarok Online for their undergraduate thesis entitled Online Game

Romance: Developing and Maintaining Relationship in Philippine Ragnarok Online.

Their participants revealed that “they developed and maintain their romantic relationship

in game” although they also go on “real-life” dates sometimes (63). All of their

respondents said that they communicate almost everyday. Furthermore, since most of the

couples are geographically far from each other, they mostly depend on CMC such as

Facebook to maintain their relationship. All 10 couples have been in the relationship for

more than a year, one couple got married and another couple got engaged. Those couples

were able to maintain the relationship through Facebook, Skype, and phone calls. The
 14

key was to decide that they want to get on with the relationship and commit to spend time

with each other even if it is just through Skype.

Online Dating

This section discusses what online dating is in the view of previous researchers

and participants.

Humans are by nature relational beings, making dating and romantic relationships

an inevitable part of life (Anstey 1999; Seifert, Hoffnung, and Hoffnung 2000; Wood

2010). As means of communications and patterns of courtship and dating evolved, the

development of romantic relationships became an even more interesting field of study.

Internet dating or online dating has become globally popular since it was first

introduced to the public in the early 1990s (Finkell et al. 2012). Online dating has then

become a favored avenue for millions of individuals seeking for potential partners as it

affords them to connect to more people – or more potential dates – in a way that is both

time and cost efficient (Lawson and Leck 2010). Participants in Lawson and Leck’s study

also revealed that online dating “modified gendered interactions by allowing women to

behave more assertively and for men to be more open” (205). Gender-related

expectations are less evident if not absent in the cyberspace compared to the “real world.”

In patriarchal societies like the Philippines, some people still consider it inappropriate for

a woman to show interest or even just approach a man first. Online, however, it does not

seem to matter as much. A woman can send a friend request to a man she probably is
 15

interested with and not be subjected to the hyper-observant eyes of others, especially the

more conservative ones.

Today, CMC scholars already consider online dating as an “accepted way to

search for a partner” (Masden and Edwards 2015, 1). The Internet has enabled users to

broaden their networks of people beyond telephones and snail mails did. Smith and

Duggan (2013) found out that in 2013, majority of Americans who are single and looking

for a partner resorted to online dating and mobile dating apps, reasoning that they see

online dating as a “better tool to find a better match for themselves because they can get

to know a lot more people” (3).

Back in the early 1990s, the terms “pen pal” and “phone pal” became fairly

common in the Philippines, especially among those who are looking for a partner.

Someone could get a friend’s friend home address or landline number and they would

begin exchanging letters and calling each other. These individuals usually did stick to just

one or a few pen pals or phone pals because sending snail mails and making calls cost

money. Unknown to many, the pen pal activity was later commercialized “when a male

national from a first world country tried to forge friendly relationship with women from a

third world country with a purpose of marriage” (Liu and Chen 2006, 1). It eventually

became a tool for the mail-order-bride industry as more women wanted to marry

foreigners with the belief that it would give them a better life (Liu and Chen 2006).

Commercialized dating will be further discussed in the succeeding parts of this study.

Online dating, on the other hand, is the more modern approach for finding a

partner. One can send emails and make video calls to more people without having to

worry about phone bills and whether the letter arrived safely at its receiver.
 16

Motivations for Online Dating

This section discusses the reasons and motivations of people who participated in

previous researches for online dating.

Psychologist Clifford Morgan explained that motivation is a general term that

refers to actions initiated by needs and aimed towards the realization if goals (Morgan

1961).

Online dating has been globally phenomenal for years now. Even in a small and

not very economically advanced town such as Bolinao, online dating has been a very

popular activity. It is therefore interesting to explore what gives people the motivation to

invest their time, energy, and even their resources to avail Internet services so they could

engage in online dating.

In Dynamics of Internet Dating, Lawson and Leck (2010) cited “reducing their

loneliness, obtaining comfort, and finding fun and excitement” (206) as the main reasons

why their participants engage in online dating. This can be observed in individuals who

have just got divorced, widowed, or broken up with their partners. The companionship

offered by their computer, or more accurately, the person behind another computer,

makes them feel less alone. They enjoy having little talks with one another and when they

click, a serious friendship or romantic relationship may bosom.

Miller (2011) found out that another major reason why people engage in online

dating is that it worked for someone they know, perhaps a family member, a friend, or a

colleague, and they wanted to see if it would work for them too.
 17

Word of mouth may be the oldest way of informing others. In provinces and small

towns in the Philippines were knowing one another and engaging in kwentuhan or the

sharing of stories with one’s relatives and neighbors is a way of life, word of mouth may

be one if the not the most used information, news, and even gossip source.

Newer studies indicate that niche dating is one of today’s trends in online dating.

Marlei Martinez (2011) defined niche online dating as “a specialized type of dating, a

phenomenon in which men and women date within specific identity pools such as

specialized racial, ethnic and interest groups” (8). For her honors thesis at Syracuse

University entitled LovetoLeave.com: A Website About Niche Online Dating in Angeles

City, Philippines,” Martinez focused on the online dating site FilipinoCupid.com,

formerly called FilipinaHeart.com, to investigate the motivations of Filipino women in

Angeles City, Pampanga in using niche online dating. This is classified as niche dating

because foreign men, particularly Americans and Europeans wish to have a Filipina as

their wife, because of the world-known traits of Filipinas that make them ideal wives—

submissive, industrious, and caring, among many others (Lloyd 2000; Martinez 2011).

On the Filipino women’s part, Martinez (2011) found out that online daters in Angeles

City use niche online dating for various reasons, most notably searching for hope,

searching for love, searching for a career, searching for escape, and searching for

company. Martinez also found other websites similar to FilipinoCupid.com, such as

Blossoms.com and MeetFilipinaGirls.com, which has United States visa and immigration

support links. Martinez therefore concluded that it is possible that “niche online daters are

searching for more things than just love, like maybe US citizenship” (25). Martinez
 18

furthermore stated that “the advancement of technology across the seas not only provides

people the chance for love, but a chance to leave” (28).

Martinez also revealed that one of the main motivations why Filipino women in

Angeles City, Pampanga engage in online dating is their search for hope, primarily for a

better life. She explained that this includes the desire to have a better socio-economic

status and a loving and responsible partner in life.

The belief that a better socio-economic status can be realized abroad, especially in

America has been around for decades. This led many women all over the world,

including Filipinas to consider marrying American nationals as a key to improving their

life. This led to international marriage brokers (“IMBS”), otherwise informally known as

“mail-order bride companies.”

In his paper The E-mail Order Bride as Postcolonial Other: Romancing the

Filipina in Web-based Narratives, Jonathan Rondina investigated the phenomenon of

Filipino women as mail-order brides. Rondina (2004) argued that online dating is a

modernized mail-order bride system. He explained that for the longest time, Filipino

women are represented as “docile, subservient and ideal wives for First-World, primarily

American husbands” (5). He furthermore stated that Filipinos still hold on to the idea that

Americans are saviors and knight in shining armors who would rescue them from the

difficulties of life. Rondina (2004) explained that this incredible faith of Filipinos to

Americans is rooted on America’s help to the Philippines back in the Spanish

colonization. Rondina stated that “in the recurring fairy-tale rescue narrative, the Filipina

as Third-World wife plays a damsel-in-distress to the Western/American’s First World

husband, knight-in-shining armor archetype. In the story of Filipino-American romance,

 19

the damsel is rescued many times over: from Spanish oppression at turn of the century,

from Japanese atrocity during World War II, and from the shackles of poverty in the

present time” (5).

For decades, many beliefs and notions have caused the idealization of Americans

as husbands. Probably the most common is the notion that marrying an American is the

best and easiest way to achieve a better life. For one, there still lies the belief that

entering Uncle Sam’s Land of the Free would allow women to experience the niceties of

life. They also see American men as better provider (Lloyd 2010). Furthermore, the white

concept of beauty is still very much prevalent in many parts of the world, including the

Philippines. Because of this, many women desire to have milky white skin and pointed,

high-bridged nose. They favor men who posses these qualities because they think that

such men are more handsome (Swain 2012; Gonzales 2013).

Martinez’ thesis is particularly useful in this study because it also investigated

Filipino women who use FilipinoCupid.com. Moreover, it highlighted the various reasons

of Filipino women in Angeles City, Pampanga for engaging in online dating. This study

also aims to enumerate the reasons of Filipino women in Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan

for engaging in online dating. Therefore, this study will investigate if women in Arnedo,

Bolinao, Pangasinan have similar reasons or if they have other reasons. Similarly,

Lawson and Leck’s study categorized reasons why Americans utilize online dating. The

results of this study will confirm if those reasons also apply in the context of the

Philippines. Rondina’s paper, on the other hand, examined the Filipina-American

romance online. This will help us explain the attitudes of Filipino women towards online

dating and Americans in particular.

 20

Relationship “bytes”: Internet and Infidelity

Internet users can filter what they share about themselves online. Some

individuals abuse this feature by claiming that they are not married or in commited

relationship. This sub-topic describes the soaring cases of infidelity on the Internet and

the reasons underneath.

Marriage is grounded within a powerful moral and cultural code where sexual as

well as emotional exclusivity is steadily expected, if not required. Marriage is a cultural

institution that presupposes monogamy and faithfulness. Mileham (2007) did a study on

online infidelity, where she had 86 married participants, of which 76 were male and 10

were female, take part in in-depth, open-ended interviews. Results showed that online

flirting made the respondents desirable, not necessarily in sexual aspects, but they

explained that it felt great to have someone fun to talk with. While others reported that

they simply enjoyed the various benefits caused by having multiple partners.

Malitao and Seastres (2012) studied the video game Fiesta, a Massively

Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (MMORPG) where “the players create their

avatars or representations of themselves to roam around and play by killing monsters and

other similar activities to gain points if XP, and strengthen their avatar, otherwise known

as “leveling up” (1). Other than leveling up, Fiesta also offers its players the option to

mingle and chat with other players. This is essential in the game because as the player’s

level goes up, the gamer’s character faces more difficult challenges, “leaving the players

with no choice but to fight in groups called parties and cooperate with each other to

defeat stronger monsters… and as they help each other, they can socialize and make
 21

friends” (1). Having more in-game relationships with another player allows more ways to

contact the other if he or she is online. If a player adds another player as a friend, he or

she may know if that player is currently online or not; thus giving more connection and

communication opportunities to each other.

Interestingly, “relationships in MMORPGs do not stop at being friends, party

mates, and guild mates.” Most MMORPG now include marriage systems, where “two

characters are enclosed by an in-game contact.” Marriage grants a “summoning” skill for

the couple, where a spouse can move a partner to his or her location. Other games, such

as Ragnarok Online give more couple skills, which are basically “for deepening the

couple’s relationship, such as sacrificing one’s hot points or life to replenish the partner’s

hit points” (2).

The researchers found out that a virtual relationship is a form of role-play,

wherein the two individuals are bound by a less formal and committed contract.

Furthermore, online relationships “do not require the commitment of both individuals,

thus unfaithfulness is not rare” (76). The researchers, who both played Fiesta on a regular

basis, furthermore stated that unfaithfulness and polygamy is rather common and to some

extent expected in online gaming. The main reason for this is the players’ desire to get

maximum benefits, in this case game points.

Meanwhile, people guilty of “real-life” infidelity claim that they somehow enjoy

benefits of their unfaithfulness. Hertlein and Sendak (2007) noted that the “positive

mirroring of the self” (8) is one major driving force for online infidelity. Hertlein and

Sendak revealed that some involved partners cited the relationship with the affair partner

as a something that made them feel better about themselves, including feeling more
 22

confident, attractive, and desirable. Most scholars agree that the third party fills a deficit

in one’s life via undivided attention and greater appreciation of the person. The involved

partner may shift their emotional energy and intimacy away from the uninvolved partner

toward another.

These studies will be useful in this research since some of our respondents are

married or in a domestic partnership. This will help the researchers explain why they still

engage in online dating even though they already have a husband or romantic partner.

Self-concept

This sub-topic talks about how one’s sense of self is affected by various factors

brought about by their engagement in online dating. Literature about self-concept, agents

of socialization, and one’s significant others will help us better understand how our

research participants shape their view of themselves through various factors such as the

feedback of their significant others like their family members and friends; and the

teachings of their culture.

From the theories of self from classic social psychology (Cooley 1902; Mead

1962) to the newer studies about one’s sense of self (Wood 2013; DeVito 2015), it has

been explicated that the self can only be understood through the individual’s participation

in interpersonal communication.

Self-concept, also called sense of self, is the “structured way of thinking about

[oneself] that helps [one] to organize and understand who they are based on the views of

others” (Seifert, Hoffnung, and Hoffnung 2000, 300). It extends beyond one’s peripheral
 23

characteristics such as physical features but also encompasses the deeper aspects of

oneself such as “emotional states, talents, likes, dislikes, values, roles, and so on” (Adler,

Proctor, and Towne 2005, 46). Self-concept is, simply put, how one perceives oneself. It

is how you process and make sense of “your feelings and thoughts about your strengths

and weaknesses, your abilities and limitations” (DeVito 2015, 70).

Among the primary factors that affect one’s self-concept are one’s family, peer

groups, society, and even the mass media. Sociologists call them the individual’s agents

of socialization (Giddens 1989). In his book Human Communication, DeVito (2015)

argued that one’s self-concept is largely influenced by (1) how one is viewed by one’s

significant others; (2) how one evaluates his or her own feelings and behaviors; (3) how

one compares himself or herself to others; and finally, (4) the teachings of his or her

culture.

In sociology, significant others refer to people close to us whose opinions we

especially value (Giddens 1989; Macionis 2010). This includes one’s family members,

especially his or her parents, siblings, spouse, and children.

In addition, an individual also draws his or her form of self-image by the process

of social comparison, wherein one evaluates oneself in terms of how he or she compares

with others (Adler, Proctor, and Towne 2005). For example, a person who dates with

strangers over the Internet may find the activity accepted if everybody else in his or her

community does the same.

Individuals tend to base their ideas of what is accepted and what is frowned upon

on the teachings of their culture. Social scientists therefore consider one’s cultural

teachings as one of the most important foundations of a person’s behavior, and

 24

ultimately, self-concept (Giddens 1989; Macionis 2010). In a collectivist nation like the

Philippines, conforming to the teachings of one’s family and culture is very important.

The Impact of Online Dating on Attitude Formation

This section discusses how the Internet has changed the way people view

communication, relationships, and dating.

Information and communication technologies and media studies Professor Nicole

Ellison acknowledged that “communication technologies have the potential to shape

identity processes in meaningful ways” (Ellison 2013, 2). She furthermore stated that

social media “have the potential to affect identity – to reshape how individuals view

themselves and others” (2). Ellison explained that these modern technologies, particularly

social media, given its interactive nature, have the ability to affect the users’ perspective

on things.

In his Master’s thesis at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology entitled

Romantic Regressions: An Analysis of Behavior in Online Dating Systems, Andrew

Fiore found out that online dating has “the potential to shape how people attract one

another, date, and fall in love” (Fiore 2004, 13). Fiore explained that engaging in online

dating and other social networking sites affects the behavior and preferences of people

seeking relationships. For one, the notion of marrying one’s one true love is catered to by

“the ability provided by online dating to sift quickly through tens of thousands of

potential mates to the desire of a user to find a potentially elusive love match” (14).
 25

Online daters furthermore believe that searching and matching within an online

dating site is far easier than looking for a mate offline. This is because online dating sites

afford them the ability to “search the set of profiles based on constrained descriptors such

as age, eye color, and religion, and sometimes by keywords in the free-response

descriptor” (Fiore 2004, 17).

Social Norms, Sexualization, and Objectification

The American Psychological Association defines sexualization as “the culturally

sanctioned appropriation of a person’s sexuality” (APA 2007). In essence, sexualization

is the process by which an individual gets educated about and accustomed with the proper

ways of behaving in accordance with one’s gender—insofar as one’s society is

concerned. This can be likened to socialization where an individual learns about the

norms and what is frowned upon in the social group where he or she belongs (Macionis

2010); except sexualization’s sole concern is to educate a person about the culturally

accepted behavior on one’s gender.

By definition, the sexualization and objectification of girls and women in

patriarchal societies are related (Smolak and Murnen 2011). Objectification is usually

defined as a culture’s tendency to treat women’s bodies as objects, as opposed to being

active, autonomous identities. The Philippines is a patriarchal nation where, subtle as it

may seem, women are still perceived as weak and subordinate (Abrera, Lopez, and Queri

2007).

Especially in patriarchal societies, sexualization facilitates women’s belief that an

attractive body is “important not only to appeal to men but also to be successful in all
 26

areas of life” (Smolak and Murnen 2011, 54). Furthermore, sexualization teaches girls

and women that attracting a man “will ensure financial stability and personal safety” (54).

Objectification can take a variety of forms (Smolak and Murnen 2011). It can

refer to a woman’s ability to attract foreign men—often Americans—is perceived as an

object – a “tool” for having a foreigner husband or partner who can be their companion

and hopefully, a source of financial support. In this case, the body is not necessarily

viewed as a sexual object. Instead, it is viewed as something that has emotions and needs

that have to be fulfilled; but the interesting thing is that it is also the tool used to meet

those needs. They are humans. They are women who need to feel appreciated. They also

need monetary support to live. They use their bodies and computer technologies as

extensions of their body to meet these needs.

Synthesis

Patterns of courtship, and ultimately, of communication, inevitably evolve. As

computers became a part of everyday life and “modernized” methods of courtship and

dating became a part of life, computers became a recognized and accepted avenue where

one can meet the love of his or her life.

After carefully studying these pieces of literature and considering our own

experiences with modern communication technologies such as cellular phones,

computers, and the Internet, we conclude that the Internet can be a very effective tool in

maintaining interpersonal relationships. So long, of course, as the user is willing to invest

time and effort in communicating with the other person.

 27

Bear in mind, however, that the Internet is first and foremost a ‘tool.’ Hence, it

has plenty of other uses. The Internet being a ‘tool’ that has several functions is not

exactly a bad thing per se. It is entirely up to us users to use it responsibly.

Theoretical Level

Media Ecology

Marshall McLuhan’s Media Ecology tells how technological inventions change

the way people think, act and feel. Improvements in technology produce changes in both

culture and social order; that technology inevitably causes changes in the society’s

culture and structure, and how people behave. He has a catchy way of putting it, “We

shape our tools and they in turn shape us” (Littlejohn and Foss 2008). “Changes in

technology alter the symbolic environment––the socially constructed, sensory world of

meanings that in turn shapes our perceptions, experiences, attitudes, and behavior”

(Griffin 2012, 321).

McLuhan’s theory of media ecology is best understood through the phrase “the

medium is the message.” He argued that the medium is as important as the message itself.

We focus too much on the content and fail to notice the medium. Media ecology,

therefore, seeks to understand social and cultural changes by the studying the medium.

McLuhan used human history, which he divided into four periods, to further

explain how technological developments changed people’s way of living.

 28

The first period is the Tribal Age or Pre-literate Age where people communicated

through the sense of hearing, touch, taste and smell but the sense of hearing was on the

top for people during this age communicated verbally or orally. They became “detached

observers” or “they acted and emotionally reacted at the same time” (Littlejohn and Foss

2008). In this stage, conformity with the society was the rule.

The second period is the Age of Literacy. The technological development in this

age was the invention of phonetic alphabet. This era saw the dominance of the sense of

sight because writing became the way of communication. When people of this age

learned how to write and read, they became independent thinkers and learned not to

depend on others.

The Print Age is the third period of human history. Here, people depended on the

printing press after the invention of the phonetic alphabet. The sense of sight and the

ability to read are very much important in this period because of the print revolution.

People learned not to go out to be knowledgeable because prints made information very

accessible to everyone. The print revolution caused the explosion of the society. The

society became fragmented and people became individualist.

The fourth period is the Electronic Age. This is where we are now. The

telephone, radio, television, computer, and Internet are some of the inventions that people

use to instantly communicate. In this era, our society is not fragmented anymore. We

retribalize, a term coined by McLuhan, or become united and dependent on each other

again like in the Tribal Age where conformity is the society’s rule. It caused the society’s

implosion and the creation of the global village.

The four periods highlight how media innovations affect people from different
 29

ages of human history. People learn to adapt to every new media technologies and they

let these innovations dominate them and change the way they perceive the world. “A

medium shapes us because we partake of it over and over until it becomes an extension of

ourselves” (Griffin 2012, 323).

Conceptual Framework

In his discussion of McLuhan’s Media Ecology, Em Griffin (2012) defined the

media as a “generic term for all human-invented technology that extends the range,

speed, or channels of communication.” On the other hand, he defined the medium as “a

specific type of media; for example, a book, newspaper, radio, television, telephone, film,

website, or email” (322). Hence, the medium exists in many forms, e.g. Darna is a comic

book, Darna is a television series, and Darna is a film.

Shaping of
Perceptions,
Medium Message Experiences,
Attitudes and
Behaviors

Figure 1. Conceptual Diagram

 30

With the advent of the Electronic age came the return to the global village. Global

village is McLuhan’s term to define how we “depend on media for information, and

possibly guidance – clarification – with which we form our concept of the world”

(Watson 2003), and how this process binds us back together. “After three thousand years

of explosion, by means of fragmentary and mechanical technologies, the world is

imploding. During the mechanical ages we had extended our bodies in space. Today,

after more than a century of electric technology, we have extended our central nervous

system itself in a global embrace, abolishing both space and time as far as our planet is

concerned” (McLuhan 1964).

The most evident example of this phenomenon in our generation is our use of

social media. We can communicate to anyone, anywhere and anytime we want. We can

interact with different people, known or unknown, wherever we are and at whatever

convenient time we have. We can even watch events around the world through websites

like YouTube. We can watch our kids grow even from distant places with the help of

Skype and other video chat applications. Our world became smaller and smaller with such

inventions.

In this theory, McLuhan also discussed his classification of hot and cool media.

Hot media are those which give us everything, we have less need of becoming involved

because they contain relatively complete sensory data like print, photographs, movies,

radio and hard sell commercials. Since they don’t require our involvement, we experience

somnambulism or the dulling of our senses. Cool media, on the other hand are those

which give little information and require our participation, some of them are television,

telephone, animated films and soft sell commercials.

 31

McLuhan stated that every form of innovations in the global village are

extensions of the human faculty. For instance, the wheel is an extension of the foot, the

book is an extension of the eye, the radio is an extension of the ear, the clothing is an

extension of the skin and the computer is an extension of the central nervous system.

In this age, when our central nervous system is technologically extended to whole

of mankind and to incorporate the whole of mankind in us, participation and commitment

to the Global Village are necessary. “Electric speed in bringing all social and political

functions together in a sudden implosion has heightened human awareness of

responsibility to an intense degree. People can no longer be contained in limited

associations. They are now involved in our lives” (McLuhan 1964). We can never act like

we are in Print and Literacy Age because we are in a village now where other people are

involved in our lives. Thus, we should be responsible enough as villagers because other

people might be affected by the actions we make.

Operational Framework

In this study, the researchers will use McLuhan’s aphorism “the medium is the

message” to analyze the impact of FilipinoCupid.com on the attitudes of female online

daters in Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan. The researchers present an operational model

relating “the medium is the message” with the attitudes of Filipino towards online dating

(Figure 2).

Specifically, we believe that in the context of online dating in Arnedo, Bolinao,

Pangasinan, FilipinoCupid.com is the dominant medium since it is the dating website that
 32

most of the female online daters use. It delivers the message that foreign men are ideal

romantic partners. This shapes the attitudes of Filipino women in Arnedo, Bolinao,

Pangasinan towards online dating because they engage in it repeatedly and thus becomes

an extension of themselves.

Medium:
WEBSITE
(FilipinoCupid.com)

MESSAGE:
ATTITUDES towards
FOREIGNERS as
ideal partners
ONLINE DATING

Figure 2. Operational Diagram

In operationalizing this, the researchers used the concepts of medium, message,

attitude, and online dating. As seen on Figure 2, we used the image of a computer since it

is the dominant technology used by female online daters to access FilipinoCupid.com.

The computer screen displays the homepage of FilipinoCupid.com because it is generally

the first page users see when they navigate to the website. The rightwards arrow indicates

that it is a process. It shows how the message is delivered to the female online daters. The

circle represents the female online daters. The message is inside the arrow because the

medium is the message.

 33

Operational Definition of Terms

Arnedo – a small barangay in Bolinao, Pangasinan where FilipinoCupid.com is popular

among female online daters

Attitude – Female online daters’ way of thinking about online dating

Foreigner – in this study, a “foreigner” refers to male daters from other countries,

particularly Americans

Internet – a tool for accessing dating websites like FilipinoCupid.com

Internet café – a place where rental computers are available

Medium – FilipinoCupid.com website

Offline – People not logged in to online communities such as Social Networking Sites

Online – People logged in to online communities such as Social Networking Sites

Online dater – a person who searches for a romantic partner through FilipinoCupid.com

Online dating – in this study, searching for a potential romantic partner from other

countries

Respondents – Female online daters in Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan

Self-employed – Respondents who work as market/fish vendors and sea urchin suppliers
 34

Chapter III. Research Methodology

This chapter discusses the methodology that was used in the study. The details of

the methodology are explained in detail in this chapter.

Research Design

This is a qualitative study that investigated the phenomenon of niche online dating

in Barangay Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan.

Data gathering was divided in two phases. The first phase began with the search for

respondents through snowball sampling. The researchers traveled to Barangay Arnedo

and met with a key informant who referred us to some FilipinoCupid.com users in the

area. The researchers visited each respondent and asked for their consent to participate in

the study. Respondents were presented with a consent form written in English and

Filipino that outlines the general nature and purpose of the study, as well as the

confidential treatment of information.

The first phase also involved a survey questionnaire consisting of 8 questions for

the purpose of gathering information about the respondents’ demographics, and online

dating habits and activity. A filter question was included to ensure that the respondents

meet certain requirements for the study.

The second phase of data gathering involved one-on-one interviews with the

respondents. Guide questions were prepared to facilitate the flow of the interviews. Due

to the sensitivity of the topic, the respondents requested to be interviewed only by one of

the researchers, Ms. Anjaliegh Panes. Ms. Panes is a resident of Barangay Arnedo and is
 35

someone personally known by most of the respondents. The researchers agreed that the

respondents would be more comfortable in answering the questions if Ms. Panes will

solely conduct the interviews, so their request was accommodated.

The interviews were done privately in the homes of each respondent and these were

video recorded and transcribed for analysis. The researchers chose to conduct the

interviews in Filipino because the respondents preferred to speak in this language.

Population and Sample

The respondents in the study were Filipino women, age 18 to 45 years old, who

are residing in Barangay Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan and have been dating online

through FilipinoCupid.com for more than one year.

Snowball sampling was used in order to locate respondents’ for the study. The

researchers began studying the phenomenon of online dating in Barangay Arnedo by

interviewing a key informant who is also a user of FilipinoCupid.com and knows other

women who date online on the same website. Soon the sample expanded because

respondents referred us to people they knew dated through FilipinoCupid.com. This

resulted in a sample of 15 women.

Research Instrument

The main instruments of this study were questions and interviews. The survey

questionnaire asked about the respondents’ demographics, and their online dating habits

and activity on FilipinoCupid.com (see Appendix B). It was a preliminary to the one-on-

one interviews.
 36

Guide questions were constructed for the one-on-one interview, but the

respondents were free to share any thought about the phenomenon of online dating, as

well as its effect on their personal lives. The interview guide consisted of open-ended

questions that allowed respondents to answer using their knowledge and/or feelings.

Data Generation Plan

Schedule Activity
March 14-15, 2015 Data Gathering Phase I
- Visited Barangay Arnedo, Bolinao,
Pangasinan
- Meeting with key informant
March 21-22, 2015 Data Gathering Phase I
- Consent form and distribution of survey
questionnaires
April 4-5 Data Gathering Phase II
- One-on-one interview with first 8
respondents
April 11-12 Data Gathering Phase II
- One-on-one interview with last 7
respondents
April 13-23 - Transcription of respondents’ interviews
- Data Analysis
April 24, 2015 - Submission of first complete draft
May 4-23, 2015 - Thesis revisions
May 28, 2015 - Binding
 37

Data Analysis Plan

The answers provided by the respondents from the survey questionnaires and

interviews served as the basis for data analysis.

Answers from the survey questionnaires (see Appendix B for questions) were

analyzed quantitatively and were tabulated by the researchers in order to get the

frequency of answers per item. The data gathered were further illustrated in graphical

representations and tables, and were used to present the respondents’ demographics and

to discuss their online dating habits and activity.

Question 1 was asked because the researchers wanted to determine how online

dating was introduced to the respondents and to investigate how it spread it to the

community since the first objective of this study is to discuss how female online daters in

Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan discovered the dating site FilipinoCupid.com.

Question 2 to 5 focused on the respondents’ online dating habits and activity on

FilipinoCupid.com. Question 2 was asked to locate the places where the respondents

choose to do online dating. Question 3 and Question 4 to identify the frequency and

amount of time spent on FilipinoCupid.com by the respondents. Questions 2-4 fulfill the

second objective of this study, which is to illustrate the respondents’ online dating

activity and habits. Lastly, Question 5 was asked to determine how long the respondents

have been using the website. This also served as a filter question since the researchers

were looking for respondents who have been dating online through FilipinoCupid.com

for more than one year.

Question 6 and Question 7 were included in the survey questionnaire to have

some demographic data about the respondents. In addition, the researchers also asked for
 38

the respondents’ ages. This demographic data was used to give background information

about the respondents and was presented on the first part of the results and discussion

chapter.

Answers from the one-on-one interviews (see Appendix C for questions) were

analyzed qualitatively. The researchers transcribed the interviews for reference and

analysis. For the purpose of data presentation, the researchers assigned an alias for each

respondent to keep their data anonymous. The researchers chose common female names

in the Philippines as aliases for the respondents. The researchers ensured that the aliases

do not have any similarity to the respondents’ real names and cannot personally identify

them. Interview quotations were used in the results and discussion. The quotations were

presented in Filipino with English translation in parenthesis.

Question 1 was asked to understand the respondents’ notions of online dating

since this is the subject of the study. Data gathered from Question 1 was used to construct

an operational definition of online dating. On the other hand, Question 2 was asked to

fulfill one of the specific objectives of the study, which is to determine the reason(s) why

Filipino women in Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan engage in online dating. Data from

Question 2 were categorized to enumerate the respondents’ reasons for engaging in

online dating. Answers for Question 3 and Question 4 were the basis for the discussion of

the respondents’ attitudes towards online dating.

Data from the survey questionnaires and one-on-one interviews were compared to

further understand and explain the respondents’ attitudes towards online dating. The

researchers used Marshall McLuhan’s theory of media ecology to analyze the data.
 39

Chapter IV. Results and Discussion

This chapter presents the results from the gathered data. Quantitative data from

the survey questionnaire were discussed and presented in graphs and tables. Data from

the one-one interviews were analyzed qualitatively.

Demographics of Respondents

Figure 3 shows the respondents’ age distribution. The researchers divided the

respondents’ ages in 3 brackets: 18-24, 25-34 and 35+. Majority of the respondents (8 out

of 15 or 53%) belong to the 18-24 age bracket. 4 of the respondents are over 35 years old.

Only 3 respondents are in the 25-34 age bracket. The mean age of respondents is 28 years

old.

27%

53%
18‐24
20%
25‐34

35+

Figure 3. Respondents’ Age

 40

According to Smith and Duggan (2013), “in terms of demographics, online dating

is most common among Americans in their mid-20’s through mid-40’s” (12). Their

survey on online dating and relationship found out that “22% of 25-34 years old and 17%

of 35-44 years old are online daters.” Data in our study suggest that online dating is most

common among 18-24 year old Filipino women. This statistical difference can be

explained by the difference in sample size. Smith and Duggan’s statistics were based on a

sample of n=2,552, (1,029 men and 1,223 women), while our statistics were based on a

sample of 15 women. Moreover, it can be said that Americans and Filipinos have

different attitudes toward online dating due to cultural differences.

On the other hand, the statistical differences can be seen as a trend in online

dating: online daters are getting younger. Ruby, the youngest respondent in this study, is

only 18 years old. The second youngest is May, who is 19 years old. The data also show

that although online dating is most prevalent among 18-24 years old, it still caters to

different age groups – both young and old. Joy, the oldest respondent is 45 years old.

The data on Table 1 suggest that single Filipino women are more likely to engage

in online dating than those who are married or have been in a committed relationship.

This is comparable with Smith and Duggan’s (2015) findings that “38% of Americans

who are single and actively looking for a partner have used online dating at one point or

another” (2). It should be noted, however, that a small number of female online daters

who are married or in a domestic partnership also engage in online dating. Further

investigation revealed that these women were unhappy with their marriages.

Aida, a 28-year old, married woman, shared his frustration about her husband,

“Alam mo naman na yung asawa ko laging wala kasi sundalo, kung saan-saan
 41

nadedestino. Kaya di ko rin alam kung uuwi pa. Kaya try ko naman ‘tong cupid baka

sakaling makahanap ako ng Amerikano ko. Edi maganda para makapunta na rin ako ng

Amerika.” (My husband is always not around because he’s a soldier. He gets assigned to

different places. So I don’t know if he will still go home. That’s why I tried

[Filipino]Cupid. Perhaps I could find my American. That would be great so that I could

also go to the US.)

Marital Status Total

Single, never married 11

Married or in a domestic partnership 3

Separated 1

Widowed -

Divorced -

15

Table 1. Respondents’ Marital Status

In Lawson and Leck’s (2006) study, they pointed out that their sample included

“unhappily married persons”; 5 out of the 50 respondents were married, 1 man and 4

women. They stated, “Romance was not necessarily the goal of online dating, but in our

sample three married persons changed partners as a result of Internet interactions”

(Lawson and Leck 2006, 191). Data from our study revealed that respondents who are

unhappy with their marriage or domestic partnership would consider changing their

partner if they find a match through FilipinoCupid.com. Maricel, a 35-year old woman

who is in a domestic partnership, disclosed, “Nag-usap na rin kami ng kuya mo na kung

 42

mag-o-online dating ako at makatagpo ng second time around na gusto akong pakasalan,

since hindi naman kami as in kasal talaga.” (My partner and I have already talked about

the possibility of finding a guy through online dating who is willing to marry me since

we’re not really married). Therefore, online dating also serves as an avenue for unhappily

married individuals to find companionship, and possibly a new marriage.

In a sense, Hertlein and Sendak (2007) are right that infidelity is commited by

people who engage in online dating, as in the case of “Aida” whose husband is

geographically away from her and unaware of her online dating activities. However, in

the case of Maricel, her decision to engage in online dating cannot be considered as

infidelity to a certain extent. This is because she discussed it with her partner and her

partner is aware of her online dating activities.

Table 2 reveals that majority of the respondents are self-employed (9 out of 15).

Further inquiry with the respondents who indicated self-employed as their employment

status revealed that most of them are fish vendors and sea urchin suppliers. 2 of the

respondents indicated that they are employed for wages as waitresses, while 3 are out of

work but are not currently looking for work. Only 1 of the respondents is still studying.

None of the respondents are retired or unable work.

 43

Employment Status Total

Self-employed 9

Out of work but not currently looking for 3

work

Employed for wages 2

Student 1

Homemaker 0

Out of work and looking for work -

Retired -

Unable to work -

15

Table 2. Respondents’ Employment Status

This data suggest that most of the respondents belong to low-income brackets.

Moreover, it shows that since majority of the respondents are self-employed or out of

work, it suggests that they have much time to spend on their online dating activities. This

will be further explained on the succeeding discussion on the respondents’ online dating

habits and activity on FilipinoCupid.com.

The Rise of FilipinoCupid.com

Table 3 shows that majority of the respondents (11 out of 15) became aware of

FilipinoCupid.com through friend or family recommendation. 4 of the respondents

discovered the website through Google search. None of the respondents stated other
 44

reasons or indicated that they learned about FilipinoCupid.com through an advertisement

on a website.

Total

Friend or family recommendation 11

Search engine 4

Advertisement on a website -

Others, please specify -

15

Table 3. How respondents found FilipinoCupid.com

The data suggest that respondents discovered FilipinoCupid.com through word-

of-mouth. Hence, information about FilipinoCupid.com was passed from one woman to

another. It also manifests the significant influence of peers and family members on the

respondents’ motives for engaging in online dating. Moreover, it reveals that the

respondents’ web searches through search engines like Google led them to

FilipinoCupid.com. According to Alexa.com, a website that provides web traffic data and

ranking, 23.1% of search traffic to FilipinoCupid.com is triggered by the keyword

“filipina dating” (Alexa Internet, Inc. 2015a). The keywords “filipino” and “filipina”

come in second (17.71%) and third (13.14%).

Unsurprisingly, if you search for the keyword filipina dating on Google, the

number one result on the organic search engine results page that appears after the ads is

FilipinoCupid.com. Likewise, if you search for filipino and filipina, FilipinoCupid.com

 45

appears on the first page of the organic search engine results (appearing on the sixth and

second position respectively).

Figure 4. Screenshot of Google search results for the keyword “filipina dating.”
https://www.google.com.ph/?gfe_rd=cr&ei=QvxQVfWcDqmM8QeXmoHIBA&gws
_rd=ssl#q=filipina+dating (Accessed May 11, 2015).

According to Rondina (2004), “on the web, the Filipina is synonymized with, and

reduced to mail order brides” (50). This is very evident with the recent search for the

keyword filipina dating on Google. Eight out of 10 results on the first page of the organic

search results page were niche online dating sites for dating Filipino women. All of the

paid ads on Google also links to such websites. Hence, the message of foreigners as ideal

partners is already transmitted on these searches. And the message is further amplified on

the website itself. This clearly shows the importance of the medium.
 46

Online Dating Habits and Activity on FilipinoCupid.com

Figure 4 reveals the respondents’ answers to Question 2 of the survey

questionnaire: “Where do you usually access FilipinoCupid.com?” Majority or 80% of

the respondents access the website in an Internet café. 2 of the respondents access it at

their homes and only 1 accesses it through establishments with free Wi-Fi connection.

7%
13%

Internet café

At home

Establishments
80%
with free Wi‐Fi

Figure 5. Places where respondents access FilipinoCupid.com

It only makes sense that the Internet cafés come out as the most common place

where respondents access FilipinoCupid.com because this can be considered as the “hub”

of the medium or technology, just as you would go to a library to read a book or a cinema

to watch a film. Obviously, Internet cafés have more computers than a typical household.

This can also be attributed to the rate of PC ownership. According to the Family Income

and Expenditure Survey of the National Statistics Office, “household PC ownership was

only pegged at 5.9% in 2006, but is steadily rising” (Alegre and Borcena 2010). This

means to say that although Filipinos have a high rate of Internet usage, the rate of PC
 47

ownership is still relatively low. Hence, many Filipinos still access the Internet through

Internet cafés, as seen by its prevalence all over the country.

Figure 5 shows the respondents’ frequency of accessing FilipinoCupid.com. 80%

(12 out of 15 the respondents) revealed that they access the website everyday. 2

respondents indicated that they use it several times a week, and only 1 uses it once a

month.

7%
13%

Everyday

Several Rmes a week

Once a month
80%

Figure 5. Respondents’ frequency of using FilipinoCupid.com

The respondents’ average or mean usage of FilipinoCupid.com per week is 25.4

hours per week (see Figure 6). The mode of usage is 30 hours per week and the median is

also 30 hours per week. The least number of hours spent per week is 10 hours and the

most number of hours spent per week is 35 hours, therefore the range of usage is 25 hours

per week.
 48

40
35
30
Hours per week
25
20
15
10
5
0

Respondents

Figure 6. Respondents’ hourly usage of FilipinoCupid.com per week

Data from Figure 5 and Figure 6 indicate the respondents are very active users of

FilipinoCupid.com. It was discussed on the previous pages that most of the respondents

are self-employed and unemployed. It makes sense that most respondents access

FilipinoCupid.com everyday because they have more time to spend in online dating given

that being self-employed doesn’t require them to work all day, and being unemployed

just means that they have nothing else to do. Hence, they make use of this time to engage

in online dating. Respondents spend an average of 25.4 hours per week in online dating,

which shows that roughly 3.5 hours a day is consumed on FilipinoCupid.com. This

explains why, according to Alexa.com, majority (33.6%) of visitors of FilipinoCupid.com

are from the Philippines (Alexa Internet, Inc. 2015a).

For Question 5 of the survey questionnaire, all of the respondents have indicated

that they have been using FilipinoCupid.com for more than year. Further inquiry revealed

that some of the respondents even started using the website when it was still
 49

Filipinaheart.com. Only 2 respondents answered Yes to Question 6 of the survey

questionnaire: Do you use other online dating website(s) other than FilipinoCupid.com?

The respondents specified Filipinokisses.com and Christiancafe.com as other online

dating websites they use. This data not only show the respondents’ loyalty to the website

but also its popularity among Filipino women.

According to Alexa.com, Filipinocupid.com is ranked 258 relative to other sites in

the Philippines (Alexa Internet, Inc. 2015b). Interestingly, Filipinocupid.com is one of the

only 2 dating websites in the list of 500 Top Sites in Philippines; the other is

PlanetRomeo, which is ranked 285. This implies the prevalent use of FilipinoCupid.com

in the country, as can be seen from the respondents themselves.

Reasons for engaging in online dating

Humans are by nature relational beings, making dating and romantic relationships

an inevitable part of life (Seifert et al. 2000; Wood 2010). As means of communication

and patterns of courtship evolved, the development of romantic relationships became an

even more interesting field of study. Online dating, according to Masden and Edwards

(2015), “has become an accepted way to search for a partner” (1).

Online dating first became popular in Barangay Arnedo in 2007. “Sarah”, then 16

and a high school senior was browsing the Web and accidentally discovered

FilipinoCupid.com, then FilipinaHeart.com. She then decided to create an account and

eventually spent more and more time chatting with foreign men. She later shared the

website with her relatives and friends. As word of mouth did spread, more women in the

barangay ventured into online dating, making it a common activity among women in the
 50

barangay. Today, the number of women who engage in online dating continues to soar,

making online dating a phenomenon in Barangay Arnedo.

Among the objectives of this study was to know the reasons why online dating

became so popular among the women in Arnedo. Interviews with 15 women revealed

five reasons why online dating has become a trend in their community.

In their study, Lawson and Leck (2010) cited reasons why individuals engage in

online dating. They identified “reducing their loneliness, obtaining comfort, and finding

fun and excitement” (206) as the main reasons. On the other hand, Martinez (2011) found

out that online daters in Angeles City use niche online dating for the search for hope,

search for love, search for a career, search for escape, and search for company.

In this study, we found out that female online daters in Barangay Arnedo,

Bolinao, Pangasinan have five main reasons for engaging in online dating:

1. For Financial Support

Topping the list is the financial support coming from their foreign partners. Most of

the respondents revealed that they did not even have to get a job since they were lucky

enough to find a partner who gives regular financial support. “Vilma,” 20, said "Yun

naman talaga para may magpadala sayo ng sustento para di na kailangang

magtrabaho." (That’s really the purpose – so somebody would send you financial support

so that you would no longer have to work). Others cite practicality as their reason for

online dating. "Para makahanap ng Kano. Yung makakapagbigay sa amin ng pera at

allowance buwan-buwan kasi mahirap naman talaga ang buhay eh. Kahit anong gawin

nila mama na kayod kulang pa rin talaga. Syempre ayoko naman na silang maghirap
 51

eh,” (So I can find an American man. One who will give us monthly allowance because

life here is very hard. My parents work diligently but it is still not enough to support us. I

don’t want them to suffer any longer), “Fe,” 24, explained.

Most men in Arnedo work as farmers and fishermen, while most women work as

market vendors. Claiming their parents cannot provide for their needs, younger women

resort to finding foreign men who could. “Kat,” 23 and a daughter of a fisherman and a

market vendor was quoted saying, “Kasi mahirap na talaga ang buhay ngayon. Hindi

kami kayang pag-aralin ng magulang namin. High school lang ang natapos syempre

mahirap maghanap ng trabaho na talagang maganda. Kaya sinubukan ko na mag-online

dating sa FilipinoCupid kasi baka may mahanap akong makakatulong sa akin.” (It is

hard to find a living. Our parents cannot afford to send me and my siblings to school. I

only finished secondary school, so it is really hard to find a stable job. That is why I

turned to FilipinoCupid, hoping that I would find someone who could help).

When asked about the reason why she engaged herself to online dating, “Sarah”

stated that, “Yung ano…mag-hanap ng ano, magpadala ng pera, ganyan. Pang-suporta.

Mag-hanap ng foreigner, ganyan” (To find someone who will send money for support.

To meet a foreigner).

Jonathan Rondina (2004) is right when he argued that online dating is a

modernized mail-order bride system. He explained that for a long time, Filipino women

are represented as “docile, subservient and ideal wives for First-World, primarily

American husbands” (5). He stated that Filipinos still hold on to the idea that Americans

are viewed by Filipinas as saviors and knight in shining armors who would rescue them

from the difficulties of life. Rondina (2004) explained that this incredible faith of
 52

Filipinos to Americans is rooted on America’s help to the Philippines back in the Spanish

colonization. Clearly, our respondents see Americans as saviors who will rescue them

from poverty.

2. Companionship

Another major reason cited by the interviewees is the need for companionship.

They say the monetary support and material gifts that their partners send is just a bonus,

because having someone who would listen to them is good enough. “Lorna,” 43,

explained, “Una para talaga may makausap ako. Nalilibang kasi ako pag may kausap

kahit sa chat lang. Saka magkaka-pamilya din yung mga anak ko, gusto ko may mag-

alaga sa akin pag tanda ko,” (I need somebody to talk to. It makes me feel better, even if

it’s just online chatting. And my children will eventually have their own families and

leave me behind. I also need somebody to take care of me when I get old).

“Sarah,” 24, explained that having someone mature and understanding to turn to

means a lot. She said, “may kaibigan ako doon na nakilala, pero hindi ako nagkaroon ng

boyfriend nong una. Ang nakilala ko noon matanda siya, tapos hanggang ngayon

kaibigan ko pa rin siya. Parang foster parent ko lang siya ang lagay” (I met a friend

there, but I didn’t have a boyfriend. He is older and he is like my foster father. We are

good friends until now). Respondents who put more importance to companionship

explained that it feels good to have someone to share their feelings and struggles with,

especially if these men are mature, sensible and often offer good advice.
 53

3. Peer influence

Peer influence is also one of the major reasons of our respondents. They said it

stirred their curiosity when their friends and neighbors seemed to enjoy online dating.

“Kasi tinuruan ako ng mga kaibigan ko, tapos yun, nagustuhan ko naman sa cupi” (My

friends taught me how to create an account and then I enjoyed the site), shared 22-year-

old “Amy.”

23-year-old “Kat,” shared that seeing her friends regularly receive packages and

flowers made her feel a bit envious. “Napapasaya sila ng mga ka-chat nila.

Pinapadalhan pa ng bulaklak at package kaya parang nainggit ako. Sabi ko,

magkakaganyan din ako” (My friends’ partners made them feel special. They regularly

sent them gifts and flowers. So I told myself, one day I’ll have one too).

One’s friends are among the most influential people in one’s life, especially in

teenage to early adolescent years (Seifert, Hoffnung, and Hoffnung 2000). It is therefore

unsurprising that “Amy” and “Kat” were greatly influenced by what they saw among

their friends.

4. Romantic desire

Fourth in our findings is the respondents’ romantic desire. Some of our

respondents revealed that they really opt for more mature foreign men, particularly

Americans. Nineteen-year-old “Amy” shared, “Mas mabuti pa yung Amerikano kasi mas

masarap sila magmahal at hindi ka lolokohin. Gwapo pa at bibigyan ka siguro ng tisay

na mga anak, o matatangos ang ilong.” (Americans are better lovers. They are

handsome, too, and would give you children with fair skin and sharp nose). Eighteen-
 54

year-old “Ruby” also shares the same sentiments. She said, “Mas mabait ang Amerikano.

Tapos syempre gusto ko din ng bagong lahi para maiba naman. ‘Pag Pilipino kasi pangit

eh. Basta, gwapo kasi yang mga nasa Cupid,” (Americans are more kind. For a change, I

want someone with a different nationality. Filipinos aren’t good loking. Guys on Cupid

are good-looking).

“Maricel”, 35, shared, “Nagkakaintindihan kami. Kumbaga mas matanda sila

mag-isip kasi nga mas matanda sila. Kaya nilang i-handle ang sitwasyon. Hindi mo na

iisipin kung ikaw pa ang magha-hanapbuhay. Automatic na. Kasi Americans, yung

responsibilidad ng asawa, ginagawa nila. Ang Amerikano, you don’t need to work, you

just need to look after them.” (We understand each other. They think maturely, because

they are older. They handle situations well. You won’t need to worry about finances. It’s

automatic, because Americans do the responsibilities of a husband. You don’t need to

work. You just need to look after them).

Marlei Martinez’s (2011) findings on Filipina online daters in Angeles City,

Pampanga showed that one of the motivations why Filipinas in Angeles City engage in

online dating is their search for hope, primarily for a better life. Martinez explained that

this includes the desire to have a better socio-economic status and a loving and

responsible husband.

In Barangay Arnedo, apparently, the American dream is very much prevalent.

Few of our respondents stated that they hope that their partners would eventually marry

them and take them to America, where they hope to enjoy a better life. “Lorna” said,

“Mas maganda buhay ko ‘pag sa America ako titira.” (I would have a better life if I live

in America). “Aida” is also thrilled with the idea of moving to Uncle Sam’s Land of the
 55

Free. “Aida” remarked, “Kaya try ko naman ‘tong Cupid na ‘to at baka sakaling

makahanap ako ng Amerikano ko. Eh di maganda para makapunta na rin ako ng

Amerika” (I go to this site because who knows, I might just find an American who would

take me to America).

5. Enjoyment

Few of our respondents see online dating as something that is done for fun and

enjoyment, like it is some pastime or entertainment. They do not necessarily look for a

committed romantic relationship but they do enjoy spending time with the foreign men

on the dating sites. “Mia”, 28, said, “Wala, kwan lang…minsa flirting. Flirt ka lang

minsan. Trip, diba? Hahahaha!” (Nothing serious. I just flirt sometimes). “Aida”

meanwhile said, “Try lang. Kasi uso na ‘yan sa atin dito ngayon. Kita mo naman di ba,

ang dami nang gumagawa” (I just try out of curiosity. As you see, many women here do

that).

Lastly and sadly, a number of women that we interviewed engage in online dating

even if they are legally married or are living with someone. They said it makes them feel

better to have someone who actually appreciates them and treats them the way they think

they deserve. “Mia,” who has a partner and children said, “Mas gusto ko siya (yung

foreigner). Kasi yung isa, nandito nga, ang laki naman ng pagkukulang. Kaya hindi niya

maiaalis sa akin na nandiyan pa rin yung communication namin nong foreigner (I like

the foreigner better, because even if my partner is here, he has plenty of shortcomings. He

cannot blame me and cannot stop me for maintaining my communication with the

foreigner). “Mia” furthermore stated, “Alam mo, kung papipiliin mo ako, mas mahal ko
 56

yun (yung foreigner). Kasi understanding siya, tapos caring. Iba magmahal kesa sa

asawa ko dito” (You know, if I were to choose, I love the foreigner more. Because he is

understanding and caring. He loves and treats me better than my husband here).

“Aida” shares the sentiments of having a husband who she lacks communication

and emotional bond with. She shared, “Syempre malayo yung asawa ko at minsan lang

umuwi. Gusto ko ring malibang ah kahit papano. Kelangan ko rin ng kausap kasi ang

boring kaya dito sa atin. Wala akong magawa. Alam mo naman yung asawa ko diba

laging wala ta sundalo. Kung saan-saan na-de-destino kaya hindi ko rin alam kung uuwi

pa” (My husband is a soldier who constantly spends time away. I get bored. Of course I

also need someone I can talk to because it’s boring here. He gets assigned to different

places so I don’t know if he will still go home).

Online dating also affects the self-concept of the respondents. Self-concept is the

“structured way of thinking about [oneself] that helps [one] to organize and understand

who they are based on the views of others” (Seifert et al. 2000, 300). In its simplest

sense, self-concept is how one perceives oneself. It is shaped primarily by that affect

one’s self-concept are one’s family, peer groups, and community (Giddens 1989).

Questions about what their family has to say about their online dating activities

were asked during the interview. Interestingly, all the respondents said that their family is

completely fine with the idea of them dating online. For those who date online because of

financial or practical reasons, they said that their family is even glad and grateful that

they are able to ease the financial burden. “Fe” said, "Sila mama naman ang importante

pa sa akin para matulungan ko talaga sila” (What’s important to me is that I am able to

financially help my parents).

 57

Furthermore, some parents are sold out to the idea that it is would be better if their

daughters marry a foreigner because they see it as a passport to a better life. “Ruby”

shared, “Okay lang naman kanila mama at mga kapatid ko. Mas gusto nga daw nila

maging manugang ang Amerikano kasi kaya akong bigyan ng magandang buhay

kumpara sa Pilipino na mahirap ang buhay” (My parents and siblings are okay with it.

They even said it is better for me to marry an American who can give me a good life

compared to Filipinos who live in poverty).

Since family is the most important source of self-concept, the respondents said

they are absolutely all right with what they are doing as long as their respective families

do not have anything against it.

“Maricel”, a 35-year-old mother of six talked about how some of the neighbors

and people in the community speak bad things about her, “Ako deadma. Bahala sila,

mainggit sila. Alam ko naman na binibigay ko lahat para sa anak ko bilang nanay nila

eh. Ganon lang ako. Mainggit kayo mag-online din kayo kung gusto nyo." (I just ignore

them. Let them do their thing. I know I do this for my children as their mother. That’s it.

Let them be envious. They should try online dating if they want). She perceives herself as

a giving mother who would do anything for her children. For her, family is the only

significant other. The neighbors, she said, are just nosy people and she does not mind

what they say as long as her children do not go hungry and unprovided for.

The same goes for 43-year-old and mother of three “Lorna”. She said she does not

mind what others have to say as long as her children are okay with it. Her sole reason for

online dating was to find a serious romantic partner. “Lorna” runs two meat stalls at

Bolinao public market and another two at a nearby town. She is now proudly engaged to
 58

her fiancée from Texas and still never asks money from him because as she said, “Kaya

kong buhayin ang mga anak ko kahit mag-isa ako” (I am able to provide for my

children’s needs even without a partner).

Culture, according to Macionis (2010), is also a constitutive element of self-

concept. He defined culture as the shared values, norms, attitudes, and ways of life of a

social group. In Barangay Arnedo where using dating sites to find a partner – or

sometimes partners— who would regularly send monetary support has become a shared

way of life among women, our respondents no longer feel any negative or odd feeling

about doing it. “Aida” 38, when asked if she feels embarrassed about looking for foreign

men in dating sites said, “Hindi. Kasi uso na ‘yan sa atin dito ngayon. Kita mo naman di

ba, ang dami nang gumagawa” (No. I think it’s already common here in our place. As

you can see, many women do it).

Overall, our respondents revealed that they see nothing wrong in what they are

doing. For the single women who want a serious romantic partner, online dating is just

like any date wherein one can find the love of her life, and they see themselves as normal

women who are hoping for a happy ever after. For the mothers and daughters whose

primary goal is to find a generous partner who would be willing to assist them

financially, they perceive themselves as family-oriented and responsible enough to

provide for their family. For those who are married or living with someone but still

engage in online dating, they believe that they deserve a man who would treat them the

way they think they deserve, especially when their partners fail to build a strong

emotional bond with them.

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Impact of FilipinoCupid.com on Attitudes Towards Online Dating

The Internet and the use of the online dating site FilipinoCupid.com have been

adapted and integrated into the daily lives of Filipino women in Barangay Arnedo,

Bolinao, Pangasinan, and its impact in the community especially among women can be

clearly seen. Marshall Mcluhan’s theory of Media Ecology presents the media as an

innovative force that has profound influence on to its patrons, especially the youth. Media

ecology views media as an independent force that drives social change.

Chapter II of this study explained that the media and online dating sites have the

capacity to shape and change people’s lives in many ways. The emergence of computer-

mediated communication facilitated the growth of online dating sites such as

FilipinoCupid.com. The medium and the message of FilipinoCupid.com have an impact

on the perceptions, experiences, attitudes, and behaviors of its users towards online

dating.

Marshall Mcluhan’s Global Village is a term to define how we “depend on media

for information, and possibly guidance – clarification – with which we form our concept

of the world” (Watson 2003) and also on how this process binds people back together as

individuals. It is evident that the respondents have “extended their central nervous system

itself in a global embrace, abolishing both space and time as far as our planet is

concerned” (McLuhan 1964).

Since online dating is now a rampant and an accepted activity among women in

Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan, users of FilipinoCupid.com are increasing. In line with

that, Filipino women of Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan offered a different view about
 60

online dating. They gave a concrete and unified definition of what and how they perceive

online dating.

What they think of online dating

During the one-on-one interview with the respondents, they were asked to express

their thoughts on what is online dating all about. The researcher asked each of them about

their notion and perception about online dating and they all gave almost exactly the same

answer. For them, online dating is the avenue to find foreign men who could be their

potential romantic partners. The respondents have given one specific identity of the

person they want to meet online—Americans. They best described an American as

handsome, sweet, and rich.

Marlei Martinez (2011) on her study about niche online dating explained that

“niche online dating is a specialized type of dating, a phenomenon in which men and

women date within specific indemnity pools such as specialized racial, ethnic and interest

groups” (8). All of the 15 respondents believed that Americans could be the savior of

what they are going through right now. Some of them also described that Americans are

better looking than Filipino men. Most of them have American boyfriends at this moment

and they happily described the status of their relationship. They provided reasons on why

Americans are their ideal man.

One of the respondents, “May”, said that “Para mabago naman. Ayoko na kasi ng

Pilipino kasi mga manloloko yang mga yan eh. Hahaha. Mas mabuti pa yung mga

Amerikano kasi mas masarap sila magmahal at hindi ka lolokohin. Gwapo pa tapos

bibigyan ka ng siguro tisay na mga anak” (To change things the way they used to be.
 61

Americans are better lovers and will not be unfaithful to you. They are handsome and

will give you children with fair skin). Meanwhile, “Ruby” said, “Tsaka mas mabait pag

Amerikano. Tapos syempre gusto ko din ng bagong lahi para maiba naman. Pag Pilipino

kasi pangit eh. Gwapo kasi yung mga nasa cupid na yan” (Americans are more kind. For

a change, I want someone with a different nationality. Filipinos aren’t good loking. Guys

on Cupid are good-looking).

“Amy” also described her current American boyfriend as kind and that her

boyfriend supports her in everything she wants to do. She described her relationship now

with her boyfriend and said, “Okay naman kahit hindi ako marunong mag-English pero

naiintindihan pa rin nya ako hahahaha! Mabait sya gusto na daw nya ako pakasalan.

Pinag-aaral nya ako ng cosmetology ngayon sa TESDA. Ay naku Anjaliegh, mabait

talaga sya. Hindi sya kuripot. Binibili nya lahat ng gusto ko pati gusto nila mama. Hindi

kagaya dito sa atin wala ka ng mahahanap na ganyang tao” (Everything is okay even

though I don’t know how to speak English fluently, he still understands me. He’s kind

and he wants to marry me soon. He sent me to TESDA to study cosmetology. Oh

Anjaliegh, he is really kind and not a cheapskate. He always buys what my family and I

want. You can never find someone like him here in our place).

Amy also added that “Masaya kausap yung boyfriend ko kasi matalino sya tsaka

lagi nya ako pinupuri. Hindi sya manyak kagaya ng ibang lalaki. Makakahanap ka rin

talaga sa computer ng totoong tao eh. Basta magtyaga-tyaga ka lang para mahanap

yung lalaki na para sayo” (My boyfriend is fun to talk because he’s intelligent. He

always compliments me. He’s not a pervert compared to other men. It is true that you can
 62

find a good person through the computer. You just need to be patient for you to find the

right guy).

“Kat” also told the story about the current status of her relationship with her

boyfriend. According to her, “Okay naman kami… hmmm mabait naman sya tsaka

marunong makisama. Minsan masungit kasi siguro medyo matanda na. 47 na eh ako 23

pa lang kaya mahirap din. Pero pinagtatyagaan ko kasi mayaman sya. Retired na daw

sya sa trabaho nya eh. May pension na… kahit nga hindi ko sabihin nagpapdala yun ng

panggastos ko eh” (We’re okay. He’s kind and knows how to deal with people. He’s

moody sometimes, maybe because he is already old. He’s 47 and I’m 23. It’s hard but I

am patiently dealing with him because he’s rich. He’s already retired and receiving his

pension. He always sends me money to spend without telling him). She also added when

asked about how she feels about the relationship, “Syempre una masaya ako kasi ka-chat

ko yung boyfriend ko. Alam ko mahal nya ako kasi talagang araw-araw kami nag-oonline

hanggang sa pagtulog. Wala na kasi sya ginagawa eh. Minsan magka-chat kami sa

Facebook at Skype. Tinigil ko na nga mag-online sa cupid kasi nakahanap na ako eh.

Kontento na ako sa amin ng boyfriend ko” (Of course I’m happy because I’m chatting

with my boyfriend. I know he loves me because we are chatting everyday until bedtime.

He doesn’t have anything else to do. We sometimes chat on Facebook or Skype. I

stopped logging in to cupid because I am content with my boyfriend).

The respondents from Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan view online dating as the

avenue to find foreign men, specifically Americans that could be their potential romantic

partners.
 63

Another definition is that online dating is an avenue to find someone who could

give them financial support.

The youngest FilipinoCupid.com user, “Ruby”, stated that “Para sa akin ang

online dating ay para makanahap ka ng Amerikano mo. Para makahanap ka ng

magusustento sayo kasi ang hirap talaga ng buhay ngayon” (For me, online dating is a

way to find an American partner. It is a way for you to find someone that could support

you financially because life is hard nowadays). “Kat” defined online dating as “Siguro

para sa akin yan yung makakahanap ka ng isang tao na talagang mag-aahon sayo sa

hirap ng buhay eh. Tsaka siguro dyan ka na makakahanap ng forever” (Perhaps that is

finding someone who would save you from poverty. And maybe finding someone to be

with you forever). Similarly, “Aida”, defined online dating as “Siguro para sa akin yan

yung makakahanap ka ng taong magbibigay sayo ng suporta para umahon kayo sa hirap

ng buhay” (Perhaps for me that is a way to find someone who could give you support to

elevate you from poverty).

“Maricel” defined it as “Para makakilala ng mga puti or negro” (To meet a white

or a black [American]). She further added, “Nag-o-online dating isa sa ano ko talaga.

Praktikal na kasi ngayon ang buhay. Nag-usap na rin kami ng asawa ko na kung mag-o-

online dating ako at makakatagpo ako dun ng second time around na gusto akong

pakasalan” (Online dating is a practical way because life is not easy nowadays. My

husband and I talked about it and agreed that I might find someone who wants to marry

me).

On the other hand, some respondents still see the romantic side of online dating.

“Amy” said that “Para sa akin ang online dating ay ang paghahanap ng boyfriend o
 64

kaibigan sa internet” (For me online dating is finding a boyfriend and a friend on the

Internet). “May” also supported this thought when she said that “Para sa akin yan yung

ano hahanap ka ng ka chat mo tapos pwedeng maging kayo sa dulo” (For me, it is

finding someone to chat with and eventually the two of you could end up together).

“Vilma” acknowledges this thought and said “Para sa akin, yung maghahanap ka ng ka

chat tapos pwede kayo magkatuluyan” (For me, it’s finding someone to chat with and

then you could end up being together).

Another FilipinoCupid.com user, “Lorna”, said that “Hmmm para sa akin yan

yung lugar para makahanap ka ng taong magmamahal at tatanggap sayo” (For mem it’s

the place to find someone that would love and accept you). “Beth” adefined online dating

as “Para may makikilala ding mga bagong mukha, bagong Amerikano” (To meet new

faces, new Americans).

The socio-economic status of Filipino women from Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan

led them to look upon marrying American nationals as the key to improving their life.

Jonathan Rondina (2004) stated that Filipinos still hold on to the impression that

Americans are redeemers, rescuers, and knight in shining armors who would rescue them

from the difficulties and hardships of life. The fifteen respondents’ perceive Americans

as someone who could give them financial support.

This justifies Marlei Martinez’s (2011) findings on her study that the main

motivations why Filipino women participate in online dating is their pursuit for hope,

mainly to acquire a better life. Martinez explained that this comprises the yearning to

have a better socio-economic status and a loving and responsible partner in life.
 65

However, three respondents said that they don’t want Americans to be their

husbands and described these Americans as “kuripot” or cheapskate. “Beth” claimed that

her former American boyfriend is a cheapskate that is why their relationship didn’t work.

She said, “Kuripot kunam ah. Dito nalang ako ah kakain pa ako three times a day” (He’s

a cheapskate. I will just stay here, at least I can eat three times a day).

“Fe” described his past boyfriend,“Hindi naman siya gaanong mabait din kasi

may lahing German din, syempre yung German medyo matapang, madamot, ganyan din

sila, diskumpyado! Kailangan laging may resibo ka, ganyan, lahat” (He is not that kind

because he has German blood. Germans are bold and stingy. He always wanted a receipt

for all my purchases).

On the other hand, “Vilma” shared her experience on having an American

boyfriend. She said that “Oo dati pero 5 months lang yata kami kasi naman sobrang

tanda na nya hahaha…. Ayoko rin kasi madamot tsaka moody. Tapos sumisigaw pa pag

tumatawag. Kaya sabi ko wag na lang kami at maghanap na lang sya ng iba kasi di ko

na matiis. Pero sayang kasi sobrang yaman nya eh. Pero ayaw ko ng mayaman lang”

(Yes I had a boyfriend but our relationship only lasted for five months because he’s very

old. I don’t like someone who is stingy and moody. Also, he always shouts whenever he

calls me. So I told him that he should find another girlfriend because I can’t stand his

attitude. It’s hard for me to let go because he’s rich. But I don’t like someone who’s just

rich).

“Beth,” “Fe,” and “Vilma” have experienced dating an American through

FilipinoCupid.com. When they had the chance, their ex-boyfriends came and visited them
 66

in Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan. However, cultural differences on money management

came along the way and stopped the relationship.

The respondents only use one online dating site, FilipinoCupid.com. It is the only

dating site that the respondents are using since FilipinoCupid.com has proven that a

Filipina can actually find an American citizen for her. Andrew Fiore is right when he

found out that online dating has “the potential to shape how people attract one another,

date, and fall in love” (Fiore 2004, 2013). Fiore explained that engaging on online dating

and other social networking sites affects the behavior and preferences of people seeking

relationships. The respondents seek potential partners online and prefer those who are

rich and good-looking.

The respondents’ notions of online dating reflect how the medium and the

message shape their perceptions of reality. There is a general agreement among the

respondents that Filipino women engage in online dating in order to find a foreigner who

could potentially be their romantic partner and who could help them financially.

The concept of foreigners, particularly Americans, as ideal romantic partners

roots not only from how FilipinoCupid.com advertise their service but also from the

Filipino colonial mentality. Through shared history between the Philippines and the US,

Americans are viewed as heroes, dating back from time the Americans ended more than

300 years of Spanish colonization up to MacArthur’s famous return to rescue us from the

Japanese imperialists. And this mentality continues up to this very day as evidenced by

the respondents’ positive view of Americans.

The respondents see Americans as financially capable. Such view affects how

FilipinoCupid.com affect their attitudes toward online dating. Although the respondents
 67

still see online dating as a way to find ther “soul mate,” their perception of online dating

has been shaped into something that involves the central theme of migration and a better

life. This is in part due to the website’s appeal to its user. FilipinoCupid’s advertisements

with text such as “Find Your Foreign Husband” and an image of a seemingly happy

interracial couple, an American and a Filipina, amplify the message of foreigners as ideal

husbands. Consequently, the ideal romantic partner of these women becomes someone

who is preferably American and is financially stable.

Figure 7. An advertisement of FilipinoCupid.com.

Retrieved from http://www.filipinoscribe.com/wp-
content/uploads/2011/06/filipino-singles.jpg.

Going back to the respondents’ reasons for engaging in online dating, it is very

clear now that having financial capability, that is to say being able to support them

financially, is a quality of an ideal partner for these women.

The Internet has indeed dramatically changed the way Filipino women from

Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan view communication, relationships, and dating. Nicole

Ellison (2013) is right when she stated that social media “have the potential to affect
 68

identity – to reshape how individuals view themselves and others” (2). Social media,

particularly its interactive landscape, have the ability to affect and have an impact the

users’ perspective on things. These Filipino women see the Internet solely as an avenue

to find potential partners and “saviors”.

How they feel about online dating

Since online dating has been defined by the respondents as an avenue to find

romantic partners that could financially support them, this section of the study will

discuss on what they feel when they are dating online or meeting their partners online.

The fifteen respondents were asked on what they feel when they are dating online.

“May” illustrated her feelings by saying “Ayos naman. Past time na rin kasi hindi naman

ako nag-aaral. Tsaka masaya kasi iba yung pakiramdam pag kausap mo yung boyfriend

mo eh. Nakakakilig” (It is okay. It’s like I’m having a past time since I don’t go to school.

I feel happy too because there’s something different when you are talking with your

boyfriend. I feel thrilled). “Ruby” described what she feels and said, “Masaya naman,

haha nalilibang ako kasi nakakatawa naman minsan yung ka chat ko. Minsan boring

naman kasi parang yun na lang nang yun ang nagpag-uusapan namin eh. Pero masaya

makipag chat” (I feel happy. I am enjoying because the one I chat with is funny.

Sometimes I get bored because we are talking about the same things everytime. But it

feels good when I chat and go online). “Vilma” narrated that, “Nalilibang naman ako

kasi marami ako nakikilalang ibang tao eh” (I’m enjoying because I get to know more

people).
 69

“Amy” and “Kat” who are sisters and are both patrons of FilipinoCupid.com

described their relationship with their boyfriends as being “happy”. According to “Amy”,

“Nakakapgod pero masaya. Syempre nakakapagod na araw araw dapat pumunta ng

computer shop para ma- online kami ng damag ko” (Tiring but happy. It is tiring because

I need to go everyday to a computer shop to meet my boyfriend online). “Kat” said that,

“Syempre una masaya ako kasi ka chat ko yung boyfriend ko. Alam ko mahal nya ako

kasi talagang araw-araw kami nag-oonline hanggang sa pagtulog” (Of course I’m happy

because I’m chatting with my boyfriend. I know he loves me because we are chatting

everyday until bedtime). “Fe” said that “Oo naman. Masaya parang nakakatanggal ng

stress kasi may kausap kang ibang tao eh” (Of course. I feel happy and it removes stress

because I get to talk to another person).

“Maricel” narrated that, “Nalilibang ako talaga. Masaya kausap mga Amerikano.

May topak din sila eh. Hahaha” (I am really enjoying. Americans are fun to talk with).

“Lorna”, when asked about what she feels when engaging in online dating, said “Hmm

nalilibang ako kais may nakakausap ako ng kung ano ano. May mga friends din ako.

Hindi lang naman kasi pang lovelife yang cupid eh. Yung iba friendship din ang hanap.

Nakakatuwa kasi nag-cocompliment sila palagi. Syempre feeling ko naman maganda ako

ako hahaha. Basta iba sila kausap. Mas maganda minsan kaysa sa mga Pilipino” (I am

enjoying it because I have someone to talk to about anything. Other foreigners use cupid

because they want friendship and not just looking for romance. It’s funny because they

always tell me I’m beautiful. I feel pretty. They are sometimes communicate better than

Filipinos).
 70

The seven other respondents, “Editha”, “Beth”, “Sarah”, “Joy”, “Mia”, “Aida”,

and “Nora” also feel happy and thrilled when engaging and chatting online with their

American boyfriends.

All of the respondents allot a large amount of their time online. The respondents

feel happy, thrilled, and excited when engaging themselves online. Online dating thus

reduces their loneliness and provides a sense of escape from the reality. Online dating

makes them forget their socio-economic status and gives them hope to find a romantic

partner.

How online dating affects their online behavior

Taylor Andersen (2003) states in his book The Essentials of Sociology that “media

are important agents of socialization” and that media have influence “on the values we

form, our images of society, our desires for ourselves, and our relationships with others”

(75). We use media to express our thoughts, to influence others, and to entertain

ourselves. The images and images transmitted to us via diverse form of media shape our

definition of reality, ourselves, and the world. Andersen means to say that media affects

life with great impact. He adds that it is the media that dictates what people should do and

believe.

The respondents’ online boyfriends are mostly citizens from the US. The

Philippines and the US have different time zones; hence, both parties need to adjust in

time. At most, the Philippines is 12 hours ahead of time from the US. One example is

“Editha’s” case. When asked on how she is adjusting to the time difference stated that

“Ah, kwan, diba pag dito gabi, umaga sa kanila. Nag-o-online ako ng gabi para
 71

makipag-usap, kasi yun yung time na pwede siyang i-chat kasi nasa work siya, nasa

harap siya ng computer. 7 ng umaga to 12 natin” (If it’s evening here, it is daylight there.

I go online at night because that’s the time when we can chat since he has work. He’s in

front of the computer from 7 A.M to 12 N.N in our time).

The survey found out that the respondents allocate an average of 25.4 hours of

their time in a week to go online and meet their foreign boyfriends. Majority of the

respondents do this everyday, which shows that how online dating has become an

extension of their selves.

The online dating phenomenon makes Filipino women in Bolinao, Pangasinan

communicate to anyone, anywhere and anytime they want—they have become part of the

global village. Through the online dating site FilipinoCupid.com, they can interact with

different people, known or unknown, wherever they are and at whatever convenient time

they have.

Marshall Mcluhan’s prediction about Global Village is happening now. Barangay

Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan is now becoming a Global community through the online

dating site FilipinoCupid.com. The distance between American men and Filipino women

has become a digital gap away. McLuhan stated that every innovation in the Global

Village is an extension of human faculties and senses.

FilipinoCupid.com is an extension of the eye and the feet. People who uses online

dating sites need not to travel in every place just to see and find a possible romantic

partner because they have their eyes in every place and they can see and find someone

even without actually going in there with the help of online dating sites.
 72

Chapter V. Summary, Conclusion, and Recommendations

This chapter will provide a synthesis on the study about the “Impact of

FilipinoCupid.com on the Attitude of Filipino women Towards Online Dating”.

Researchers interviewed fifteen (15) respondents ages 18-45 years old residing in

Barangay Arnedo, Bolinao, Pangasinan who are active users of the online dating site

FilipinoCupid.com.

Summary and Conclusion

Online dating has become a social phenomenon in Baragay Arnedo, Bolinao,

Pangasinan. The researchers found out that there are five reasons why they are engaging

themselves online. The reasons are for financial support, companionship, peer influence,

romantic desire, and enjoyment.

The fifteen respondents interviewed revealed that they did not even have to get a

job since they were lucky enough to find a partner who would be willing to give regular

financial support. Most men in Arnedo work as farmers and fishermen, while most

women work as market vendors. Younger women resort to finding foreign men who

could provide for their needs.

Another major reason cited by the respondents is the need for companionship.

They say the monetary support and material gifts that their partners send is just a bonus,

because having someone who would listen to them is good enough. Peer influence is also

one of the major reasons of our respondents. They said it stirred their curiosity when their

friends and neighbors seemed to enjoy online dating.

 73

Fourth in our findings is the respondents’ romantic desire. Some of our

respondents revealed that they really opt for more mature foreign men, particularly

Americans.

Few of our respondents see online dating as something that is done for fun and

enjoyment, like it is some pastime or entertainment. They do not necessarily look for a

committed romantic relationship but they do enjoy spending time with the foreign men

on the dating sites.

The rise of communication technologies revolutionized the way of

communicating. Marshall Mcluhan’s Media Ecology tells how technological discoveries

alter the way people think, act and feel. Improvements in technology produce changes in

both culture and social order. That technology inevitably causes changes in the society’s

structure and culture and how people behave. He simply puts it in this way, “We shape

our tools and they in turn shape us” (Littlejohn and Foss 2008).

The survey found out that the respondents allocate an average of 25.4 hours of

their time in a week to go online and meet their foreign boyfriends. Majority of the

respondents do this everyday, which shows how online dating has become an extension

of their selves.

This study characterized the current condition of Filipino women in Arnedo,

Bolinao, Pangasinan. The respondents’ reasons on why they engage in online dating are a

clear manifestation that the Philippines has many economic problems and these economic

problems influence their way of life. The rise of high-tech communication technologies is

seen by most Filipino women as a tool to free themselves from the shadows of poverty.
 74

The five reasons revealed that Filipino women would do everything just to

alleviate their family from poverty even if it means that they should give up their own

happiness. Sadly, their engagement in online dating only makes them as sex objects and

stereotyped as sex objects by foreign men. These foreign men see Filipino women as

passive and conformists, someone who depend on men for status.

Recommendations

The researchers recommend that other researchers conduct further studies on

online dating in the Philippines, particularly in niche online dating and intercultural

dating. Due to the scope and delimitation of this study, the researchers only investigated

the phenomenon of online dating in one barangay in Bolinao, Pangasinan. It would be

interesting to know how rampant online dating is in the Philippines, especially when we

talk about Filipina women searching online for potential romantic partners from other

countries.

It is also fascinating to study why so many white men want to date or marry a

Filipino woman. Based on Nonimmigrant Visa Statistics from the U.S. Department of

State, Bureau of Consular Affairs, the Philippines has the highest number of K-1 or

fiancé visa issued in 2014. The U.S issued 7,228 K-1 visas to the Philippines in 2014,

higher than the totals for Africa (3,086), Europe (6,682), North America (6,250), Oceana

(514), and South America (2,739) (U.S. Department of State 2014). Although

FilipinoCupid.com caters to men of all nationalities, many of the women that we have

interviewed are dating or have dated an American online.

 75

Another interesting topic to investigate is the impact of online dating on the self-

concept of Filipino women as well as on their personal lives. Since online dating is very

popular among Filipina women, it would be important to know its effect on the

community or society as a whole.

 76

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Appendix A

Written Consent for Participation in Research

Nakasulat na Pagsang-ayon para sa Paglahok sa Pananaliksik

I, __________________________________________________________________,
voluntarily give my consent to participate in the research project to be conducted by Mr.
JEDIDIAH REUBEN CLEMENTE; Ms. ELIJAH MARIE DAGUIO; and Ms.
ANJALIEGH MAISIE PANES from the University of the Philippines Baguio. I clearly
understand that the research project is designed to gather information regarding the
Impact of FilipinoCupid.com on the attitudes of Filipino women towards online dating
residing in Barangay Arnedo in Bolinao, Pangasinan in the online dating site
FilipinoCupid.com; and thus, I will be one of the fifteen (15) participants who will be
interviewed for this study.
Ako si ________________________________________________________________ ay
boluntaryong ibinibigay ang aking pagsang-ayon na lumahok sa proyekto sa
pananaliksik na isasagawa nila G. JEDIDIAH REUBEN CLEMENTE; Bb. ELIJAH
MARIE DAGUIO; at Bb. ANJALEIGH MAISIE PANES mula sa Unibersidad ng
Pilipinas Baguio. Malinaw kong nauunawaan na dinisenyo ang proyekto sa pananaliksik
upang mangalap ng impormasyon patungkol sa epekto ng FilipinoCupid.com sa
pagtingin sa online dating ng mga kababaihang Pilipino na nakatira sa Barangay
Arnedo sa Bolinao, Pangasinan; at samakatuwid, ako ay magiging isa sa labinlimang
(15) kalahok na kakapanayamin para sa pag-aaral na ito.

1. My participation in the research project is voluntary. Hence, I will not be receiving any
payment of any kind for my participation. It is also my understanding that I may
withdraw from my participation any time.
Boluntaryo ang paglahok ko sa proyekto sa pananaliksik. Samakatuwid, hindi ako
makakatanggap ng anumang uri ng kabayaran para sa aking paglahok. Nauunawaan ko
rin na maaari kong iurong ang aking paglahok anumang oras.

2. I understand that the interviews will focus on the research and will last for forty-five
(45) minutes to an hour. Notes will be written during the course of the interview and an
audio tape of the dialogue will be recorded unless I require otherwise.
Nauunawaan ko na ang mga panayam ay nakatutok sa pananaliksik at tatagal nang
apatnapu’t limang (45) minuto hanggang isang oras. Magsusulat ng mga tala sa
kabuuan ng panayam at irerekord ang audio tape ng pag-uusap maliban kung hindi ko
pahintulutan.

3. I understand that my identity by name in any reports using the obtained information
will remain anonymous, and that my confidentiality as a participant will be secured.
Future use of records and information will be subject to standard data use and policies
protecting the anonymity and privacy of individuals.
Nauunawaan ko na ang aking pagkakakilanlan sa pangalan sa anumang mga ulat gamit
ang nakuhang impormasyon ay mananatiling anonymous o hindi makikilala, at ang aking
pagiging kumpidensyal bilang isang kalahok ay papangalagaan. Ang paggamit ng mga
 83

tala at impormasyon sa hinaharap ay nakabatay sa karaniwang paggamit ng data at mga

patakarang nangangalaga sa pagiging anonymous at pagkapribado ng mga indibidwal.

4. I further understand that I will be informed of the accuracy of the data and the fairness
of its presentation through a review of the researchers’ final report. Any publication of
the said report will require the consultation of our consent.
Nauunawaan ko rin na ipapaalam sa akin ang katumpakan ng data at ang pagiging patas
ng pagpepresenta nito sa pamamagitan ng pagsusuri ng pinal na ulat ng mga
tagapagsaliksik. Anumang paglalathala ng nasabing ulat ay mangangailangang ng
konsultasyon ng aking pagsang-ayon.

5. It is my understanding that this research project has been reviewed and approved by
the thesis panel of the College of Arts and Communication, University of the Philippines
Baguio.
Nauunawaan ko na ang proyekto sa pananaliksik na ito ay nasuri at naaprubahan ng
thesis panel ng Kolehiyo ng Sining at Komunikasyon, Unibersidad ng Pilipinas Baguio.

6. I have received a clear and complete explanation of the general nature and purpose of
the research project.
Nakatanggap ako ng malinaw at kumpletong paliwanag ng pangkalahatang uri at
layunin ng proyekto sa pananaliksik.

7. Finally, I have received a copy of this consent form.

Panghuli, nakatanggap ako ng kopya ng form sa pangsang-ayon na ito.

____________________________________________
Signature over printed name of research participant
(Lagda sa itaas ng naka-print na pangalan ng kalahok sa pananaliksik)

Signature of researchers (Lagda ng mga tagapagsaliksik)

Jedidiah Reuben Clemente 0917-319-5028

Elijah Marie Daguio 0942-377-9305/ 0935-174-8652

Anjaleigh Maisie Panes 0916-368-9431

 84

Appendix B

Survey Questionnaire

We are graduating BA Communication students from the University of the Philippines

Baguio conducting a study on the impression management of Filipino women on the
online dating website FilipinoCupid.com. This questionnaire would be of great help for
us in carrying out our study. We request your honesty in answering the questions and we
assure you that your answers will be kept confidential and will be used strictly for
academic purposes.
Kami ay mga magsisipagtapos na mag-aaral ng BA Communication mula sa
Unibersidad ng Pilipinas Baguio na nagsasagawa ng pag-aaral tungkol sa impression
management ng mga kababaihang Pilipino sa online dating website na
FilipinoCupid.com. Ang questionnaire na ito ay lubos na makakatulong sa amin na
maisakatuparan ang aming pag-aaral. Hinihingi namin ang inyong katapatan sa
pagsagot sa mga katanungan at tinitiyak namin sa inyo na pananatilihing kumpidensyal
ang inyong mga kasagutan at gagamitin lamang ang mga ito para sa mga layuning pang-
akademiko.

Name (Pangalan) Age (Edad)

1. How did you find FilipinoCupid.com?

Paano mo nahanap ang FilipinoCupid.com?

Search engine e.g. Google, Yahoo, etc. (Search engine hal. Google, Yahoo, atbp.)
Friend or family recommendation (Rekomendasyon ng kaibigan o kapamilya)
Advertisement on a website (Patalastas sa isang website)
Others, please specify (Iba pa, mangyaring tukuyin):

2. Where do you usually access FilipinoCupid.com?

Saan mo kadalasang ina-access ang FilipinoCupid.com?

Internet café (Computer shop)

Establishments with free WiFi (Mga establisyimentong may libreng WiFi)
At home (Sa bahay)
At a friend’s home (Sa bahay ng kaibigan)
At school or work (Sa paaralan o sa trabaho)

3. How often do you access FilipinoCupid.com?

Gaano kadalas mong i-access ang FilipinoCupid.com?

Once a month or less (Isang beses sa isang buwan o mas mababa)

Once a week (Isang beses sa isang linggo)
Several times a week (Maraming beses sa isang linggo)
Everyday (Araw-araw)
 85

Several times a day (Maraming beses sa isang araw)

4. How many hours per week do you spend online on FilipinoCupid.com?

Ilang oras bawat linggo ang ginagamit online sa FilipinoCupid.com?

5. How long have you been a member of FilipinoCupid.com?

Gaano ka na katagal miyembro ng FilipinoCupid.com?

Less than 1 month (Wala pang isang buwan)

2 to 3 months (2 hanggang 3 buwan)
3 to 6 months (3 hanggang 6 buwan)
6 to 12 months (6 hanggang 12 buwan)
More than 1 year (higit sa 1 taon)

6. Do you use other online dating website(s) aside from FilipinoCupid.com?

May iba ka pa bang (mga) online dating website na ginagamit bukod sa
FilipinoCupid.com?

Yes (Oo)
No (Hindi)

If yes, please specify (Kung oo, mangyaring tukuyin):

7. What is your marital status?

Ano ang iyong katayuan sa pag-aasawa?

Single, never married (Walang asawa, hindi kailanman kinasal)

Married or domestic partnership (Kasal o may ka-live-in)
Widowed (Nabalo)
Divorced (Diborsyado)
Separed (Hiwalay)

8. What is your current employment status?

Ano ang iyong kasalukuyang kalagayan ng trabaho?

Employed for wages (May trabaho)

Self-employed (May sariling negosyo)
Out of work and looking for work (Walang trabaho at naghahanap ng trabaho)
Out of work but not currently looking for work (Walang trabaho ngunit
kasalukuyang hindi naghahanap ng trabaho)
Homemaker (Maybahay)
Student (Estudyante)
Military (Militar)
Retired (Retirado)
Unable to work (Walang kakayahang magtrabaho)
 86

Appendix C

Interview Guide Questions

1. What is online dating for you?

2. What are your reasons for engaging in online dating?

3. What do you feel when you engage in online dating or chat?

4. What does your family or the people around you say about your online dating

activity?
 87

Appendix D

Respondents’ Profile

Respondent Age Employment Status Membership

1. “Ruby” 18 Unemployed More than a year

2. “Amy” 22 Waitress More than a year

3. “Kat” 23 Waitress More than a year

4. “May” 19 Unemployed More than a year

5. “Fe” 24 Fish Vendor More than a year

6. “Aida” 28 Unemployed More than a year

7. “Lorna” 43 Businesswoman More than a year

8. “Vilma” 20 Self-employed More than a year

9. “Nora” 41 Self-employed More than a year

10. “Maricel” 38 Self-employed More than a year

11. “Editha” 28 Self-employed More than a year

12. “Beth” 23 Self-employed More than a year

13. “Sarah” 24 Self-employed More than a year

14. “Mia” 28 Self-employed More than a year

15. “Joy” 45 Unemployed More than a year

 88

Appendix E

One-one-one Interview Transcription

Respondent 1: “Ruby”

A: Para sayo ano ang online dating?

B: Para sa akin ang online dating ay para makanahap ka ng Amerikano mo. Para
makahanap ka ng magsusustento sayo kasi ang hirap talaga ng buhay ngayon.
A: Ano yung mga rason mo bakit ka nakipag-online dating?
B: Ayun para makahanap ng amerikano. Kasi nakikita ko yung mga kaibigan ko may
mga pambili na sila ng mga gamit nila. Tsaka mas mabait pag amerikano. Tapos syempre
gusto ko din ng bagong lahi para maiba naman. Pag Pilipino kasi pangit eh. Hahahaha
hindi tsaka basta mga gwapo kasi yung mga nasa cupid na yan.
A: May nahanap ka na bang karelasyon mo sa FilipinoCupid?
B: Hmmm oo may mga naka chat na ako. Yung iba friends lang..tapos… yung iba naman
talagang gusto nila ng asawa. Yung iba mga bastos din talaga. Mga nanloloko. Mga wala
silang magawa. Pag may mga ganun binablock ko lang eh. Pwede yun sa cupid eh. May
dalawa na rin pumunta sakin dito. Yung una okay lang naman. Pinuntahan nya ako ditto
tapos nakilala nya sila mama. Nakakahiya pa nga kasi 17 pa lang ako nun eh
pinagtitinginan nga ako ng mga tao hehehe pero okay lang hindi ko na pinansin. Sabi nila
may lolo daw ako. 55 na kasi yung unang amerikano ko eh.
A: Anong nangyari sa inyo nung una? Bat di kayo nagkatuluyan?
B: Matanda na kasi eh pangit na ugali nya. Tapos kuripot pa. parang ayaw pa ako bigyan
ng pera pambili ng pagkain namin dito nung umuwi sya dito sa bahay kaya nung umuwi
na sya sa amerika di na ako nag chat. Sabi ko friends friends na lang kami.
A: Anong nangyari sa inyo nung pangalawa mo?
B: Ay yun mas mabait naman yun. Kami pa nga hanggang ngayon eh. Masaya naman
kami. Medyo mas bata pa sya konti dun sa una eh nasa 38 lang sya.
A: Ano ang nararamdaman mo pag nakikipag online dating ka?
B: Masaya naman, haha nalilibang ako kasi nakakatawa naman minsan yung ka chat ko.
Minsan boring naman kasi parang yun na lang nang yun ang nagpag-uusapan naming eh.
Pero masaya makipag chat.
A: Ano ang masasabi ng pamilya mo at mga tao sa paligid mo sa pakikipag online dating
mo?
B: Okay lang naman kanila mama at mga kapatid ko. Mas gusto nga daw nila maging
manugang ang amerikano kasi kaya akong bigyan ng magandang buhay kumpara sa
Pilipino na mahirap ang buhay. Sa mga ta sa paligid naman syempre hindi maiiwasan na
mag isip sila ng masama. Minsan sinabihan pa ako na muka daw akong pera kasi ganito
ganyan nakikipag chat daw ako per di ko pinapansin kasi hindi naman sila ang
bumubuhay sa akin eh.
A: Kahit anong sabihin nila okay lang sayo?
B: Syempre hindi naman pero hindi ko na lang pinapansin kasi wala na ako pakialam
basta ako wala akong ginagawang masama at maganda ang buhay ko ngayon.
 89

Respondent 2: “Amy”
A: Para sayo ano ang online dating?
B: Hmm para sa akin ang online dating ay ang paghahanap ng boyfriend o kaibigan sa
internet.
A: Ano yung mga rason mo bakit ka nakipag online dating?
B: Syempre una kasi tinuruan ako ng mga kaibigan ko tapos yun nagustuhan ko naman sa
cupid kasi marami ka talaga makikilala kahit na bata pa ako. Tapos syempre ta mahirap
nga talaga yung buhay ditto sa atin syempre hindi mo maiiwasan na maghanap na ng
paraan para makatulong ka sa magulang mo at pamilya. Syempre kailangan mo ng
susuporta sayo kasi mahirap talaga ang bhay mangingisda lang si papa tapos si mama
nagbebenta ng maratangtgang at arusip sa palengke. Minsan wala pang nakukuha sa
dagat si papa kasi madami nang kaagaw ngayon sa dagat eh. Kaya naisip ko na rin na
gayahin yung mga kaibigan ko na maghanap ng Amerikano kasi sila talaga yung
nakakatulong eh nakikita kong masaya sila at umaasenso kahit papano. Kahit sabihin mo
na na matanda na sila…. Okay lang kasi yun naman talaga eh. Pero makakahanap ka rin
naman ng mabait. Swertehan lang din talaga eh.
A: May nahanap ka na bang karelasyon mo sa FilipinoCupid?
B: Oo naman marami na rin ako nakachat eh.. Negro at Amerikano. Hahaha pero ayos
lang. may mga mababait talaga at may mga manyakis.
A: May naging karelasyon ka na?
B: Oo ngayon may boyfriend ako mas matanda sa akin. Andito nga lang sya nung
January haha di mo nakita sayang.
A: Kamusta naman kayo?
B: Okay naman kahit hindi ako marunong mag English pero naiintindihan pa rin nya ako
hahahaha! Mabait sya gusto na daw nya ako pakasalan. Pinag-aaral nya ako ng
cosmetology ngayon sa Tesda. Ay naku Anjaliegh mabait talaga sya hindi sya kuripot
binibili nya lahat ng gusto ko pati gusto nila mama. Hindi kagaya ditto sa atin wala ka ng
mahahanap na ganyang tao.
A: Ano ang nararamdaman mo pag nakikipag online dating ka?
B: Nakakapgod pero masaya. Syempre nakakapagod ta araw araw dapat pumunta ng
computer shop para mag online kami ng damag ko. Kaya nga nung umuwi sya binilhan
nya ako ng table tapos pocket wifi para mag email kami araw araw at di na ako pupunta
sa coputer shop. Masaya kausap yung boyfriend ko kasi matalino sya tsaka lagi nya ako
pinupuri. Hindi sya manyak kagaya ng ibang lalaki. Makakahanap ka rin talaga sa
computer ng totoon tao eh. Basta magtyaga tyaga ka lang para mahanap yung lalaki na
para sayo.
A: Ano ang masasabi ng pamilya mo at mga tao sa paligid mo sa pakikipag online dating
mo?
B: Dati may chismis talaga kasi nga matanda yung ka chat ko tapos sinasabi nila na
humihingi lang kao ng pera. Mukang pera nga daw ako pero di ko na pinapansin eh
hinahayaan ko na lang basta wag silang gagawa ng kung ano-anong kwento na talagang
sisirain ako kasi babawi talaga ako. Tingin nila sa akin madumi kasi akala nila nakikipag
chat lang ako kapalit ang pera at ibabayad ko ang katawan ko. Syempre alam ko naman
na hindi totoo yun eh. Di nila alam na masaya ako sa ginagawa ko at di ako kagaya nila
na iniiwan at niloloko ng mga asawa. Tasaka hindi pa nga ako nabubuntis eh. Eh sila
nagsibuntisan na. Ano na lang ang buhay nila di ba kumpara sa akin?
 90

A: Ano naman reaksyon ng pamilya mo?

B: Gusto naman nila basta daw mahal ako at masaya ako ayos lang naman. Natutulungan
ko naman sila kahit papano sa bahay eh.

Respondent 3: “Kat”
A: Para sayo ano ang online dating?
B: Siguro para sa akin yan yung makakahanap ka ng isang tao na talagang mag-aahon
sayo sa hirap ng buhay eh. Tsaka siguro dyan ka na makakahanap ng forever hehehe.
A: Ano yung mga rason mo bakit ka nakipag online dating?
B: Kasi mahirap na talaga ang buhay ngayon. Hindi kami kayang pag-aralin ng magulang
namin. High school lang ang natapos syempre mahirap maghanap ng trabaho na talagang
maganda. Kaya sinubukan ko na mag online dating sa FilipinoCupid kasi baka may
mahanap akong makakatulong sa akin. Tsaka nakikita ko yung mga kaibigan ko na
naggaganyan rin eh nalilibang sila eh. Napapasaya naman sila ng mg aka chat nila.
Pinapadalhan ng bulaklak at package kaya parang nainggit din ako nung una. Sabi ko
magkaka ganyan din ako. Kaya sinubukan ko at akahanap naman ako ng matino, sana
nga matino talagang lalaki yun hehehe.
A: Kamusta kayo ng boyfriend mong Amerikano?
B: Okay naman kami… hmmm mabait naman sya tsaka marunong makisama. Minsan
masungit kasi siguro medyo matanda na. 47 na eh ako 23 pa lang kaya mahirap din. Pero
pinagtatyagaan ko kasi mayaman sya. Retired na daw sya sa trabaho nya eh. May pension
na… kahit nga hindi ko sabihin nagpapdala yun ng panggastos ko eh.
A: Ano ang nararamdaman mo pag nakikipag online dating ka?
B: Syempre una masaya ako kasi ka chat ko yung boyfriend ko. Alam ko mahal nya ako
kasi talagang araw arawa kami nag-oonline hanggang sa pagtulog. Wala na kasi sya
ginagawa eh. Minsan magka chat kami sa facebook at skype. Tinigil ko na nga mag
online sa cupid kasi nakahanap na ako eh. Kontento na ako sa amin ng boyfriend ko.
Nakakapagod din kasi yung magahanap ka pa ng iba tapos magpapakilala ka na naman.
A: Ano ang masasabi ng pamilya mo at mga tao sa paligid mo sa pakikipag online dating
mo?
B: Hmm okay lang naman kanila mama ko at papa ko ta naiintindihan naman nila kung
bakit eh.
A: Eh ano naman sinasabi ng ibang tao sayo?
B: Masaya naman sila para sa akin pero yung iba ang tingin nila dirty ako pati yung
kapatid ko kasi nakikipagchat kami eh.
A: Pinapansin mo ba yung mga sinasabi nila?
B: Hindi na ta wala naman silang pakialam sa ginagawa ko. Hindi sila nagpapakain sa
akin eh. Wala ako paks sa kanila hehehe.

Respondent 4: “May”
A: Para sayo ano ang online dating?
B: Para sa akin yan yung ano hahanap ka ng ka chat mo tapos pwedeng maging kayo sa
dulo.
A: Ano yung mga rason mo bakit ka nakipag online dating?
B: Para mabago naman. Ayoko na kasi ng Pilipino kasi mga manloloko yang mga yan eh.
Hahaha. Mas mabuti pa yung mga Amerikano kasi mas masarap sila magmahal at hindi
 91

ka lolokohin. Gwapo pa tapos bibigyan ka ng siguro tisay na mga anak. O di matangos na

li ilong hahaha. Tapos totoo naman nakahanap naman ako talaga ng boyfriend ko. Andito
nga sya ngayon eh. Ilang araw lang sya ditto hanggang Linggo lang.
A: May nahanap ka na bang karelasyon mo sa FilipinoCupid?
B: Oo andito nga sya ngayon sa atin. Kasama nya si papa ngayon nagbangka sila dun sa
laot.
A: Kamusta naman kayo? Pano ka nag-aadjust?
B: Hmm syempre nung una nagkakahiyaan pero nung tumagal hindi na. Kasi magka chat
kami ng mga 5 months din kaya marami na kaming alam sa isa’t-isa. Tapos mabait
naman sya.. kinakain nya yung kinakain namin. Bata pa pala sya. 32 nya lang kaya ayos
pa naman kami. Ayaw ko naman kasi ng masyadong matanda ta pangit naman yun.
Mahirap pakisamahan. Ang hanap ko naman yung medya mas bata bata pa para naman
magkaintindihan kami. Buti na lang meron.
A: Ano ang nararamdaman mo pag nakikipag online dating ka?
B: Ayos naman. Past time na rin kasi hindi naman ako nag-aaral. Tasaka masaya kasi iba
yung pakiramdam pag kausap mo yung boyfriend mo eh. Nakakakilig.
A: Ano ang masasabi ng pamilya mo at mga tao sa paligid mo sa pakikipag online dating
mo?
B: Ayos lang naman sa family ko. Wala naman ako ginagawang masama at wala din sila
magagawa kahit ayaw nila kasi masaya naman ako. Nahanap ko na yung taong para sa
akin. Yung mga ibang kapitbahay syempre mga inggit kung ano-anong sinasabi kasi nga
malandi daw ako ganun pero wala ako pakialam basta masaya ako sa ginagawa ko. Tsaka
minsan pinagtitinginan kami ng boyfriend ko pag pumupunta kami sa palengke pero
hindi ko pinapansin.

Respondent 5: “Fe”
A: Para sayo ano ang online dating?
B: Siguro para sa akin yan yung makakahanap ka ng taong magbibigay sayo ng suporta
para umahon kayo sa hirap ng buhay.
A: Ano yung mga rason mo bakit ka nakipag online dating?
B: Para makahanp ng Kano. Yung makakapgbigay sa amin ng pera at allowance buwan
buwan kasi mahirap naman talaga ang buhay eh. Kahit ano gawin nila mama na kayod
kulang pa rin talaga. Syempre ayoko naman na silang maghirap eh.
A: May nahanap ka na bang karelasyon mo sa FilipinoCupid?
B: May kachat ako ngayon pero chat pa lang. Minsan pa lang sya nagpadala hahaha hindi
ko naman sinabi naawa na sya agad sa akin. Sabi nya pupuntahan daw nya ako pero
tignan natin malay natin sya na yung tao para sa akin hahaha. Try try lang naman yan.
May mabait, swerte na lang. pag hindi mabait edi hayaan na maghanap na ng iba kasi
marami naman dyan.”
A: Oo nga. Pero umaasa kang makakahanap ka pa rin ng “the one”?
B: Oo naman sana. Hahaha… hmmm syempre gusto ko din magkapamilya at gusto ko
talaga umalis dito sa atin at pumunta na sa Amerika. Iba kasi yung buhay dun eh kumpara
dito di ba? Mahirap buhay… kahit gawin mo talaga lahat kulang pa rin.
A: Ano ang masasabi ng pamilya mo at mga tao sa paligid mo sa pakikipag online dating
mo?
 92

B: Syempre tanggap naman nila mama kasi talagang kailangan eh.. yung ibang tao
syempre hindi ka maiintindihan at sasabihin malandi ka pero hindi naman totoo yun. Sila
mama naman ang importante pa sa akin para matulungan ko talaga sila. Wala na akong
pakialam sa sinasabi ng iba. Masaya ako at masaya pamilya ko hehehehe. Oo mdrama
nga pero ganyan talaga.

Respondent 6: “Aida”
A: Para sayo ano ang online dating?
B: Ay yan yung makakahanap ka ng special someone mo. Yung ano yan magbibigay ng
lahat ng gusto mo na hindi kayang ibigay ng asawa o pamilya mo.
A: Ano yung mga rason mo bakit ka nakipag online dating?
B: Try try lang. Kasi uso na yan sa atin dito ngayon. Kita mo naman di ba ang dami nang
gumagawa. Pati si mama mo nakipag chat na rin. Syempre malayo yung asawa ko minsan
lang umuwi. Gusto ko ring malibang ah kahit papano. Kelangan ko rin ng kausap kasi
ang boring kaya dito sa atin walan magawa.. hahaha alam mo naman yung asawa ko di ba
lagging wala ta sundalo kung saan saan madedestino kaya di ko rin alam kung uuwi pa.
Kaya try ko naman tong cupid na to baka sakaling makahanap ako ng Amerikano ko. Edi
maganda para makapunta na rin ako ng Amerika.
A: May nahanap ka na bang karelasyon mo sa FilipinoCupid?
B: Wala pa puro friends friends pa lang. hahahah… syempre kilalanin muna ta mahirap
na kasi baka maisahan tayo, ayaw ko naman paapi sa mga Amerikano. Friends friends
muna. Pag nalaman to ng asawa ko baka mapatay nya ako hahaha pero sinasabi ko naman
na makipag chat ako para hindi sya mambabae doon.
A: Ano ang nararamdaman mo pag nakikipag online dating ka?
B: Nalilibang ako talaga. Masaya kausap mga Amerikano. May topak din sila eh.
Hahahah. Makahnap ka rin talaga ng totoong kaibigan dyan. Makakausap mo nang
matino. Magshare ng sa pamilya nila. Kasi yang mga yan makikipag chat kasi
naboboring din eh. Wala din sila makausap doon. Kaya nalilibang din sila sa pakikipag-
usap.
A: Ano ang masasabi ng pamilya mo at mga tao sa paligid mo sa pakikipag online dating
mo?
B: Hay naku wala silang pakialam. Hindi kasi nila alam ang nangyayari kaya kung ano-
ano sinasabi. Sinasabi nila dyan dyan na malandi daw ako pero di nila alam na may
dahilan. Syempre yung asawa ko di ko din alam baka nambababae na din yun dun sa
destinasyon nya. Friends friends lang naman habol ko kasi naboboring na ako at wala ako
makausap. Tsaka hindi ko naman kayang sirain ang pamilya ko.

Respondent 7: “Lorna”
A: Para sayo ano ang online dating?
B: Hmmm para sa akin yan yung lugar para makahanap ka ng taong magmamahal at
tatanggap sayo. Yan din yung lugar para malibang ka. Lalo pag may napagdaanan kang
matindi. Kunwari iniwan ka ng asawa mo, nag-abroad tapos pinagpalit ka sa ibang babae.
Malaki matutulong nyan para may makauap ka na pareho mo rin pnagdanan.
A: Ano yung mga rason mo bakit ka nakipag online dating?
B: Marami. Una para talaga may makausap ako. Nalilibang kasi ako pag may kausap
kahit sa chat lang. Ayoko na rin na magmukmuk matapos ako iwan ng tatay mo.
 93

Hehehehe. Tsaka para mabilis tayo umahon. Gusto ko may katuwang ako sa pagpapalaki
sa inyo. Gusto ko din pagtanda ko may kasama ako. Mahirap kaya tumanda mag-isa.
A: May nahanap ka na bang karelasyon mo sa FilipinoCupid?
B: Oo si Steven.
A: Kamusta kayo?
B: Okay naman kami. Mahal nya ako. Mahal ko rin sya kahit mas matanda sya ng seven
years. Minsan nag-aaway kasi hindi nya naiintindihan yung negosyo natin. Syempre
mag-isa ko lang bumubuhay sa inyo eh. Pag hindi ako nakakareply nagagalit agad. Pero
naiintindihan na nya ngayon pakonti-konti.
A: Ano ang nararamdaman mo pag nakikipag online dating ka?
B: Hmm nalilibang ako kais may nakakausap ako ng kung ano ano. May mga friends din
ako. Hindi lang naman kasi pang lovelife yang cupid eh. Yung iba friendship din ang
hanap. Nakakatuwa kasi nagcocompliment sila palagi. Syempre feeling ko naman
maganda ako ako hahaha. Basta iba sila kausap. Mas maganda minsan kaysa sa mga
Pilipino. Tsaka naeexercise ko mag English pag Amerikano kausap ko.
A: Ano ang masasabi ng pamilya mo at mga tao sa paligid mo sa pakikipag online dating
mo?
B: Basta sabi ko sa mga anak ko gusto ko talaga makapunta sa Amerika. Sawa na ako
dito sa buhay sa Pilipinas. Kayod nang kayod. Syempre gusto ko rin mag enjoy.
Ginagawa ko naman lahat para sa inyo di ba. Gusto ko din mag enjoy. Tanggap nyo
naman di ba? Hehehe.
A: Oo naman ma. Hehe. Ano naman masasabi mo sa mga negative comments ng ibang
tao?
B: Hay naku wala silang pakialam no. wala silang paks mga inggit lang sila. Tsaka hindi
naman ako humihingi kay Steven eh. Hindi ko kailangang humingi kasi kayang kaya ko
kayong buhayin. Ang gusto ko lang magkaroon ng katuwang sa buhay. Gusto ko may
mag-alaga sa akin pagtanda ko. Kasi syempre magkakapamilya rin kayo. Mas maganda
buhay ko li pag sa Amerika ako titira.

Respondent 8: “Vilma”
A: Para sayo ano ang online dating?
B: Para saken hmmm ano, yung.. maghahanap ka ng ka chat tapos pwede kayo
magkatuluyan.
A: Ano yung mga rason mo bakit ka nakipag online dating?
B: Para may mahanap ng Amerikano syempre. Yun naman talaga para may magpadala
sayo ng sustento para di na kailangang magtrabaho. Syempre malaking tulong din naman
di ba haha. Ang hirap kaya ng buhay ngayon dapat praktikal ka din.
A: May nahanap ka na bang karelasyon mo sa FilipinoCupid?
B: Oo dati pero 5 months lang yata kami kasi naman sobrang tanda na nya hahaha….
Ayoko rin kasi madamot tsaka moody. Tapos sumisigaw pa pag tumatawag. Kaya sabi ko
wag na lang kami at maghanap na lang sya ng iba. Pero sayang kasi sobrang yaman nya
eh. Pero ayaw ko ng mayaman lang.
A: Ano bang hinahanap mo sa isang ka chat?
B: Syempre yung mabait at aalagaan ako. Pag ganun naman pinakita nya edi mamahalin
ko sya. May kachat ako ngayon pero hindi pa kami. Kilalanin daw muna namin ang isa’t-
isa bago nya ako puntahan ditto.
 94

A: Ano ang nararamdaman mo pag nakikipag online dating ka?

B: Nalilibang naman ako kasi marami ako nakikilalang ibang tao eh. Hahaha. Mga
gwapo, pangit ganyan tsaka mga bastos marami yan. Ang dami ko na nga nablock eh kasi
yung iba manyak lang talaga. Natututo rin ako na ano lumaban. Syempre ayaw ko naman
na binabastos eh hahaha.
A: Ano ang masasabi ng pamilya mo at mga tao sa paligid mo sa pakikipag online dating
mo?
B: Ayos lang kanila mama. Yung chismis syempre hindi maiiwasan yan. Lalo yang mga
kapitbahay natin akala mo kung sinong matitino yung buhay. Hindi muna nila tignan
sarili nila.
A: Ano sa tingin mo yung iniisip nila sayo?
B: Sinasabi nila na madumi daw ako ganyan ganyan kasi pumapatol sa matanda eh wala
pa namang pumupunta dito. Tsaka wala silang pakialam kasi yung kachat ko hiwalay sa
asawa kaya walang masama dun.
A: Hindi ka nagagalit sa mga nagsasabi na madumi ka?
B: Nagagalit syempre. Pnaparinggan ko nga sila dyan sa plaza na inggit langa sila eh.
Wala talaga silang pakialam kasi hindi sila ang nagpapalamon sa akin di ba. Wag na
pansinin. Masaya naman ako at tama naman tong ginagawa ko eh tsaka ang importante
hindi nagagalit sila mama. Matutulungan ko pa sila pag nagpadala na yung amerikano.
Hahahah….

Respondent 9: “Nora”
A: Ate, ano po para sa inyo yung online dating?
B: Para makakilala ng mga puti or negro
A: Yun yung dahilan mo Ate kung bakit ka nag-online dating?
B: Oo. Para ma-experience yung mga ganyan.
A: Ah yun lang. Di ka naman nalulungkot dito kaya ka naghahanap?
B: Di naman
A: Bakit hindi Pinoy?
B: Mahirap ang Pinoy.
A. Mas maganda ang buhay kapag ano [foreigner]?
B: Hindi naman. Kumbaga syempre may experience na ako sa Pinoy, para maiba naman.
A: Meron na po bang nakapunta dito na ano mo?
B: Oo
A: Ilan na
B: Dalawa
A: Hanggang ngayon may communication pa rin po kayo?
B: Yung boyfriend ko wala na, pero yung friend ko meron pa.
A: Yung ex mo na lang yun. Yung una.
B: Oo
A: Bakit po hindi kayo nagkatuluyan?
B: Wala. Hindi siguro meant to be.
A: Ano sa tingin nyo ang dahilan bakit kaya?
B: Ewan. Seloso kasi yun. Ayaw nya ng may ibang kausap. Kahit sa pamilya selos.
A: Hindi ka po nag-adjust sa pagiging seloso nya?
B: Hindi. Kasi pamilya ko naman yan. Bakit nya ako pag
 95

A: Taga-saan pala siya Ate?

B: Taga-California
A: Ilang taon na po?
B: 34 lang dati. 40 na sya ngayon.
A: Ilang beses kayong nagkita Ate?
B: 5 times
A: Dun sa profile sa FilipinoCupid, ano po yung ginamit mong picture?
B: Picture sa phone.
A: Ano po yung nakalagay dun? Di ba po may nakasulat dun na “Hi”
B: Hindi ko naman pinapansin yung mga yun
A: Basta gumawa ka lang ng profile picture mo? Ano po yung nafi-feel nyo kapag
nakikipag-online dating ka? Masaya ka ba?
B: Minsan nakaka-stress.
C. Kapag nagtatalo.
A: Nagtatalo din kayo?
B: Oo kapag may nakaka-chat ka na mahirap umintindi.
A: Ano pa ate? Pwede mo pa bang sabihin yung ibang pinag-aawayan nyo or ibang
reasons?
B: Sa boyfriend ko ba?
A: Kahit na yung friend mo ngayon?
B: Hindi kami nagtatalo nun.
A: Mas okay sya?
B: Okay sya.
A: Friend lang?
B: Friend lang kami nun.
A: Hindi ka na naghahanap ngayon ng boyfriend?
B: Nag-aantay lang. Hindi naghahanap.
A: Ano sa tingin nyo ang iniisip ng ibang tao sa mga nag-o-online dating na babae?
Kunware yung ibang hindi nakikipag-online dating, sa tingin mo anong iniisip nila sa
inyo?
B: Ewan ko.
C: Yung iniisip ng tao? Yung iniisip ng tao is dirty.
A: Sang-ayon ka ba sa sinabi nya?
B: Oo. Siguro. Minsan may naiingit yung iba. Kasi minsan syempre tutulungan ka ng
friend mo or bf, tas hindi maganda ang naiisip nila.
A: Ano yung ginagawa nyo? Hindi mo lang sila pinapansin?
B: Wala lang. Hindi naman sila nag *inaudible* ng mga tao
A: Pero sa sarili mo alam mo na nag-e-enjoy ka sa ginagawa mo?
B: Oo naman. Nag-e-enjoy minsan. Minsan nakaka-stress.
A: Pero masaya ka Ate?
B: Oo.
 96

Respondent 10: “Maricel”

A: Nag-o-online dating isa sa ano ko talaga. Praktikal na kasi ngayon ang buhay. Nag-
usap na rin kami ng asawa ko na kung mag-o-online dating ako at makakatagpo ako dun
ng second time around na gusto akong pakasalan, since hindi naman kami as in kasal
talaga, ang ano ko dun kasi kung baga sa hirap na ng buhay ngayon lalo na kapag wala
kang pinag-aralan, wala kang edukasyon, sa dami rin ng anak namin, hirap din namang
kumayod. Yung easy. Yung iba sabi nila easy money magpok-pok ka nalang, ikayang mo
na lang. Kaysa magpokpok ka, why not hanap ka na lang nga Amerikano? Sakali na
maidala ka sa ibang bansa, at habang nandito yung una mong pamilya pwede mo silang
sustetuhan. Puwede mo silang bigyan ng magandang buhay. Sa akin, yung ang pananaw
ko kung bakit ako nag-online. Hindi ko na kasi kaya yung hirap ng buhay. Hirap na ng
buhay, mandaragat lang ang asawa mo. Minsan mayroon, minsan wala. Although nandun
na tayo na kahit anong hirap ng buhay, kung may tiyaga, may nilaga. Ngayon materyal na
eh. Kung hind ka kakayod at hindi ka magsisipag, at wala sa isa’t-isa sa inyong mag-
asawa ang mayroong pagpupursigi. Isa dapat sa inyo ang mag-give way. Alam mo yun.
Para naman sa kanila. Hindi naman for selfish reason. Para sa kanila. Pero yung mga iba,
ginagawa nila for money. The scavenge money from Americans. Kumbaga pineperahan
lang nila. Ako naman bago ako pumasok sa Filipinahearth, nakausap ko yung foreigner
ko dati. Sinabi ko naman. May family ako. Pero ang family ko sabi ko kaya nga ganito
naghahanap din ako ng pangalawang katuwang kasi nga sa hirap din ng buhay. Ngayon
kung gusto nyo ako at tatanggapin nyo ako ng ganito, okay. Pero kung hindi,
maiintindihan ko naman. Meron namang sumagot sa mga post ko na willing namang
gustuhin ako. Mayroon naman kahit papaano.
B: Hanggang ngayon ate nagko-communicate?
A: Oo, nagko-communicate pa rin kami. Kaya kahit papano hindi ako humihingi. Sila
ang kusang nagbibigay. Hindi naman ako yung tipong bili mo ako nyan, bila mo ako nun.
Tinatanong nila kung anong kailangan mo sabihin mo, Kasi Christmas papadalhan kita,
yung mga anak mo. Basta mag-send ka ng mga pictures. Para sa mga bata. May
mahahanap ka rin ng matitinong Amerikano. Meron din yung mga bastos. Ayaw din dun
sa mga may anak na babae. Pero yung nahanap ko, open minded sya. Hindi naman sex
ang hanap nya sa Filipinahearth. Ang hapan nya ay companionship. Yung may
makakausap, makikipagkwentuhan. Parang hindi naman kami on, para lang kaming
magkaibigan na nag-uusap lang kami, kwentuha sa pamilya. Kasi may na-encounter din
naman syang Filipina na naging asawa nya. Tinaihan din sa ulo. Kaya naghahanap din
sya ng Filipina, yung talagang honest. Sa sitwasyon ko, anim ang anak. Pero dun sa
nakilala ko, yung taga-Pennsylvania, mabait sya. Tinanggap nya naman. Sinabi ko
nakatira yung aking asawa dito bahay. Pero there’s no intimate relationship after
magkaroon kami ng bunso. Wala nang intimate relationship. Once kasi ang babae
nasaktan ng lalaki, sa dami ng pinagdaanan ko. Ilan yan? Di ba?
B: Nagkaroon sya?
A: Hindi naman. Hindi sya nagkaroon. Yung pagkukulang lang.
B: Financial.
A: Financial, mapagtyatyagaan mo. Pero yung nanakit na. Ayaw ko naman na. Tsaka
(inaudible), kung ano yung kinalakihan nya nung bago kami, hindi nya rin naaalis
hanggang ngayon. Siguro hindi mo makikita na lagi nyang ginagawa yun, pero time to
time umuuwi sya dito isipin nya na iinom na lang. Kaya para sa family na lang. Kasi ako
 97

naman sinasacrifice ko rin naman lahat eh. Ako naman may mga friends na mga
foreigner ang asawa. Hindi naman ako gumagastos kung niyayaya nila ako. Yun lang
they influence me kung paano manamit nang maayos. Kasi once nung nanganak na ako,
hindi na ako. Kumbaga high standard na. Amerikano na. Kaya yung mga Amerikano,
kung bakit ako, sa hirap din ng buhay. Pero I don’t ask. Sila ang nagkukusa. Yung lang
ang kaibahan. Hindi ako nagsasabi. Sinasabi ko lang na minsan, I’m craving to eating
something pero wala naman kaming pambili. Magpapadala sila.
B: Mas honest ka lang din sa kanila.
A: Oo. Sa akin naman, talagang lahat pinipicturan. Yung makikita nya rin kahit na
kasama si kuya mo. Basta pinipicturan nya. Pero yun lang nga, ask nya, kung nagsisiping
pa nga kami? Sabi ko, the last time, last na yung ginawa namin. Hindi na talaga. Natapos
na talaga. Nasa time n parang ayaw mo na rin. Pag marami na ring anak, mawawalan ka
na rin naman ng gana. Pero kung mabata-bata ka pa. Hindi na rin ako nagreregla na.
Parang menopause na ako. Mainitin parati ang ulo ko. Nai-enjoy makisama-sama pero
hind ako yung tipong, diba sabi ko sayo yung mga ano dyan, hay manlalalaki yan, Kapag
kaming magkakasama, babae babae yung ganon lang. Ano pa?
B: Di ba pumunta na dito yung Amerikano, paano ka nag-adjust, paano kayo nag-adjust
sa isa’t isa kasi iba yung kultura nya?
A: Una pa lang, bago kami nagkakilala on a dating site, marami na syang alam tungkol sa
Pilipinas. Nakakakain na sya ng Filipino food, nakaka-adapt na sya sa ways ng culture ng
Pilipino. Marunong rin syang mag-Tagalog. Nakakakain na rin siya ng iba-ibang pagkain,
like pancit. Sa amin naman, the adaption between the two of us nahihiya kami sa isa’t-isa
noong una. Pero nakakatawa naman sya. Accommodation din naman yung dating namin
sa isa’t-isa. Tapos nag-click.
B: Hanggang ngayon Ate?
A: Oo, nagkakaroon pa rin ng communication.
B: Balak ka ba nyang pakasalan?
A: Ang tanong ay balak ko bang magpakasal sa kanya? Sa ngayon kasi, syempre
nahihiya rin naman ako. Sa dami rin naman ng anak ko, magpapakasal ako? Tapos
syempre yung status namin ni kuya mo, willing sya pero ang iniisip ko rin nagkakaroon
din ako ng guiltness di ba ako magpapakasal ako sa kanya. Pero yung lalaki willing sya.
May engagement ring na nga. Diamond na hearth. Ibibigay sa akin, hindi ko kinuha.
Mahirap na. Kasi syempre pag kinuha mo yun obligado ka talagang pag sinabi nya
patalsikin mo na yan. Syempre meron pa ring guiltness. Lumalangoy ako sa dalawang
ilog. Mahirap din naman.
B: Pero pinag-iisipan mo ate.
A: Pinag-iisipan ko ng mabuti. Ngayon kung di rin mag-work out dito kami. Kasi lagi rin
kaming nag-aargue. Talagang nandun na yung part ko sa kabila.
B: Bukod sa practical reasons, ano pa yung mga reason mo bakit ka nag-online dating?
Bat napagtyatyagaan mong makipag-chat araw-araw, mag-invest ng time,
A: Kasi nakakahanap ako ng kumbaga libangan, nahahanap ko yung mga katulad kong…
Alam mo yung pag naka-online ka mahahanap mo yung hinahanap mo doon, yung the
way they make you feel good, kung paano ka nila i-aassist habang nag-uusap kayo.
B: Parang yung mga ideal man mo?
A: Ganon. Oo. Parang kasi ganito ako, ayaw ko yung ganyan. Sinasabi nila yung dislikes
and likes nila at sinasabi ko rin yung dislikes at likes ko. Nagkakaintidihan kami dun.
 98

Walang sigawan, walang argument. Naiintidhan nila. Kumbaga mas matanda silang mag-
isip kasi nga matanda sila. Tsaka I don’t look for younger. Kasi mas masture ang older.
Tsaka kaya nilang ihandle ang mga situation. Kung paano ka nila palalakarin, kung paano
ka nila iga-guide. Kumbaga sila ang naghahandle, hindi mo na iisipin kung ikaw pa ang
maghahanapbuhay . Automatic na. Kasi Americans, yung responsibilidad ng asawa, sila
na ang gumagawa. Sa Pilipino, kayod marino pero asawa pa rin ang gumagawa ng paraan
kaysa sa Amerikano. Ang Amerikano, you don’t need to work, you just need to look after
them.
B: Ang laki ng pagkakaiba.
A: Ang laki noh. Sa Pilipino naman, hindi mo maiiwasan lagi kayong nag-aayaw dahil sa
financial problem. Kasi nga hindi lahat naisesettle sa table lahat ng pangangailangan sa
bahay mo. Ang hinahanap kasi ng babae yung comfort na hindi mo iwoworry lahat ng
problema. Kumbaga yung responsibility, kusang-gawa. Hindi mo na kailangang ipasok sa
isang tao kung anong gagawin. Sila they know their responsibility. Ilalatag na lang nila.
You don’t need to work, you just need to look after them. And they give you good life
just as long as you return the favor na hinihingi nila. Iba talaga ang Pilipino sa
Amerikano. Iba ang ugali nila. Kung mamahalin mo sila, they will in return. Kasi yung
parents ko, yung nanay at tatay ko, di ba Australyano yung tatay ko. Yung tatay ko
(inaudible) pero hindi nya pinush yung nanay ko na mag-work talagang nilayout nya
lahat sa table. Talagang sa bahay lang sya.
B: Kaya ganun din yung hinahanap mo sana?
A: Parang ganon. Parang yung stepfather ko yung hinahanap ko sa pamilya. Andyan na
lahat. Ganon din sa friend ko. Si Gigi. Ngayon wala na sila ng foreigner nya. Wala na
ring padala. Pag wala na ring padala, nganga ka na rin. Kung kasi umasa ka dun, nga nga
ka na rin. Kung hindi ka rin maghahanapbuhay. Habang may family ka, maghanapbuhay
ka rin para pinapakita mo rin na working hard ka hindi lang scavenge money from him.
Pero ang Amerikano kapag nakita nya na you’re lazy, iiwan ka rin nya, magsasawa sya.
Ganon ang mga foreigner. If you’re lazy, go to hell sabi nila. Sa nakikita ko, kasi galing
din ako ng Australia, mostly hinahanap talaga nila mga Asian. Kasi mga Asian mababait.
At tsaka mga Asian mga humble sila tsaka very hospitable. Ano pa?
B: Yung tanong ko medyo negative. Kasi diba yung ibang tao pag nakikipag-online
dating ka medyo masama yung iniisip sa iyo? Parang Ay humihingi ka ng pera ganyan…
paano ka nag-aadjust doon? Kunwari negative yung tingin sayo
A: Ako naman kilala ko yung sarili ko like kahit anong sabihin nila sabihin na nila. At
tsaka common naman na ngayon ang mga online dating. Marami na rin dito sa Bolinao na
gumagawa ng online dating. Yung mga iba nakakapaghanap ng foreigner na
magsusustento sa kanila nang malakihan. Pero wala ring mangyayari, kasi kinakarma din
sila. Baligtad diba pag ganun? You’re using somebody for your own good and in return
talagang may karma yun. Katulad ko naman, it’s not money, it’s the companionship.
Yung pananaw na kung paano ka nila ikaw amuhin, lambingin. Ganon yung sa amin.
Tapos showy, sinasabi mahal ka nya. Yung mga tao dito pag nakakarinig ng mga ganyan,
maraming ano talaga. O yan nag-online yan kasi pera lang habol. Kasi ganito ganyan.
Ako deadma. Bahala sila mainggit sila. Alam ko naman na binibigay ko lahat para sa
anak ko bilang nanay nila eh. Ganon lang ako. Mainggit kayo mag-online din kayo kung
gusto nyo.
B: Hindi ka ba nada-down Ate?
 99

A: Wala pa naman akong na-encounter. Kasi hindi naman ako yung tipong “May
Amerikano ako!” I keep it to myself naman kahit papano.
B: Sa tingin mo, yung online dating dito sa Arnedo, Bolinao kakalat pa nang kakalat o
lalong (inaudible)
A: Kakalat yan nang kakalat for younger people sa tingin ko. Kasi mostly habol ng
younger people is pera. Marami mag-o-online na mga younger na babae.
B: Dito kaya sa atin?
A: Marami na. Marami nang nangyari. Dumating wala rin.
B: Sa tingin mo, anong impact nito sa community? May masamang epekto ba to?
A: Oo, may masama. Kasi marami na rin akong nakausap na foreigner online na sinasabi
ang Bolinao has a lot of woman scavenger. They only ask for money. And then meron
pala silang pamilya, asawa, may mga anak.
B: Edi magiging negative ang tingin nila?
A: Oo, magiging negative talaga sa Bolinao. Kasi marami na ring gumagawa dito na
bata-bata. Kasi sila talagang they make sa trabaho. Hanapbuhay na nila yan. Paghihingian
ng pera. Yung cybersex nga, hanapbuhay na per hour yun. Buti hindi naging uso sa
Bolinao yan. Meron. Si Ate Lani dati pero hindi natuloy. Pero patok talaga yan
Filipinaheart, FilipinoCupid. Depende kung paano talaga gamitin yan ng tao. Ako since
nakita ko to hindi na ako masyadong nag-o-online. Text text na lang kami. Text na lang
and call. Sa WeChat or Viber. Messenger. Skype. Nag-i-Skype kami sa cellphone. Kasi
marami na rin yung makikita ka dyan nag-o-online. Nakasilip sila. Ay si ano may Kano
na sya. Yung mga tao dito alam mo naman very conservative sila. Ang dami nang duma
na taon conservative pa rin sila. Yan ang masama dito sa Bolinao. Hindi sila
humahakbang ng isang step. Doon pa rin sila. Kumbaga stagnant. Walang nang wave.
Stagnant na talaga.

Respondent 11: “Editha”

A: San nyo nahanap yung pinagchachatan nyo?
B: Binigay lang yun na parang link sya.
A: Sinend lang sa inyo na link nung friend?
B: Oo
A: Saan mo kadalasang ina-access yung FilipinoCupid?
B: Nakalimutan ko na.
A: Sa internet shop? Or may sarili kang computer.
B: Sa computer shop kadalasan.
A: Dati gaano ka kadalas nagla-login.
B: Dati araw-araw
A: Sa tingin mo mga ilang oras ka nag-i-internet dati?
B: Mga dalawa, tatlo bawat araw
A: Gaano ka katagal naging miyembro ng FilipinoCupid site?
B: Mga dalawa yata, nag-stop din ako
A: Bakit ka nag-stop ate?
B: Nag-asawa na ako
A: Nakahanap ka rin ba doon ng Amerikanong boyfriend?
B: Bakit hindi kayo nagkatuluyan?
A: Nag-asawa na nga ako.
 100

B: Pero pinuntahan ka nya dito?

A: Ayaw mo sya?
B: Oo
A: Bakit?
B: Dumating nga yung kano. Ayaw ko.
A: Bakit ayaw mo sya?
B: Iba din kasi yung ugali. Kuripot.
A: Ayaw mo ng kuripot?
B: Dito na lang ako nakakakain pa ako ng three times a day.
A: Taga-saan sya Ate?
B: USA yata
A: Isa lang ba ang naging ka-chat mo?
B: Meron din yung una.
A: Anong nangyari dun sa una?
B: Wala din.
A: Bakit ka nakipag-online dating dati?
B: Trip trip lang. Triny ko lang naman.
A: Bakit?
B: Sabi nila maganda.
A: Kasi marami na ring nag-o-online dating dati. Pag nag-o-online dating ka dati, pag
nakikipag-chat ka, anong nararamdaman mo? Masaya ka, natutuwa, nag-e-enjoy?
B: Minsan.
A: Paaanong minsan? Nag-e-enjoy?
B: Syempre makahanap ka nga ng Kano. Minsan lang. Medyo ayos din. Minsan hindi.
A: Sa mga naka-chat mo Ate lahat ba sila mababait o may iba binastos ka?
B: Bastos din yung iba.
A: Pano ate?
B: Gusto nila makita nila yung katawan mo?
A: Ayaw mo? Hindi mo pinakita?
B: Hindi.
A: Yung iba naman mababait?
B: Yung iba din mababait.
A: Sa tingin mo, sa mga nag-o-online dating, ano yung tingin ng ibang tao sa mga
nakikipag-online dating na babae dito sa atin? Sa tingin nyo masama yung isip nila?
B: Yung mga Kano?
A: Hindi. Yung mga dito. Kunwari mga kapwa nating babae.
B: Tingin nga nila masama. Tingin nila iba na yung ginagawa.
A: Pero alam mo naman sa sarili mo na…
B: Oo, bahala sila.
A: Wala ka namang paki?
B: Oo. Hindi ka naman humihingi ng kinakain mo.
A: Di ba pumunta dito yung Kano, paano ka nag-adjust sa ugali, paano ka nakitungo?
B: Kung ano yung ugali, edi ganon.
A: Pinakita mo lang kung ano yung tunay.
B: Oo.
A: Matagal sya dito?
 101

B: Hindi mga ilang araw lang.

A: Okay naman yung samahan nyo dati.
B: Ayos naman.
A: Hindi mo naman nami-miss mag-online dating ngayon?
B: Wala na. Sa Facebook na lang.
A: Okay na sa buhay mo ngayon? Masaya ka na?
B: Oo.
A: Pwede mo bang ikumpara yung experience mo sa Kano at Pinoy? Di ba may asawa ka
na ngayong Pinoy, paano mo mapagcocompare sila?
B: Syempre iba din dati. Syempre dati naghihintay ka lang ng padala. Ngayon kailangan
mong maghanapbuhay para makabili ka ng isang kilo
A: Ate, naging purpose mo ba dati na humihingi ng kunwari pinansyal nung nakipag-chat
ka o trip-trip lang talaga.
B: Meron din naman yung magbigay talaga sila. Syempre tanungin nila yung estado ng
pamumuhay. Syempre sabihin mo naman mahirap ka lang. Tulungan ka nila.
A: Pero hindi ka naman yung talagang hingi nang hingi?
B: Hindi naman.

Respondent 12: “Beth”

A: Paano mo nalaman ang FilipinoCupid.com?
R: Sa mga pinsan ko na... nagkaroon ng penpal.
A: Aaah. Tapos, ah, paano mo siya ina-access, Internet...
R: Sa ano, sa FilipinaHeart
A: Mmm... tapos... ano’ng ginagamit mo na ano, pang-online?
R: Yon, ano, FilipinaHeart. Tapos Yahoo pag meron na akong nakikilala sa
FilipinaHeart. Sa Yahoo na ako mag may kumuha na ng ano, ng Yahoo Messenger ko.
Binibigay ko, tas dun na kami magcha-chat. Kasi ‘pag... kapags seryoso naman sayo ang
ka-chat mo, kukunin nila ang Yahoo Messenger mo.
A: Mmm. Anong ginagamit mo, may sarili kang laptop, o computer?
R: Sa ano lang, sa computer shop.
A: Gaano kadalas kang nagko-computer?
R: Dati, halos ano, araw-araw.
A: Mga ilang oras yun sa isang araw?
R: Minsan, maka tatlo ako, dalawa.
A: Sa isang araw?
R: Oo.
A: Aaahh. Ahm, may ibang online dating sites ka pang binibisita dati?
R: Ano ang, Facebook lang, nong nauso na yung Facebook, halos yun nalang din
ginagamit ko.
A: Dun ka na rin nag-cha-chat?
R: Oo.
A: Ahhh. Hmm, tapos, bakit ka nag-o-online dating?
R: Para may makikilala ding mga bagong mukha, bagong Amerikano… diba?
A: Yun lang? Wala nang ibang rason?
 102

R: Wala naman na. Aaaah, syempre gusto ko naman dati magkaroon ako ng ka-penpal
din. Syempre parang naaano ako sa mga pinsan ko, ganon. Kasi diba nagkaron sila ng
penpal.
A: Tapos anong nangyari sa kanila?
R: Eh ngayon…eh… eh ngayon may sakit, naawa na din ako. Wala na. Hanggang friends
ko nalang yung mga nakaka-chat ko ngayon.
A: Hmmm. Mga friends friends nalang.
R: Oo
A: Tapos… ahm, pero wala pang pumuntang naka-chat mo dito?
R: Wala pa, ano, kasi dati meron sana...
A: O, anong nangyari?
R: Hindi siya natuloy kasi... sa tagal kong hindi nakapag-online na, hindi ko na siya ano,
nakakausap. Naging busy na ako kasi nagtrabaho na ako non eh. Pumunta na kasi ako sa
Manila non eh, nagtrabaho... hindi ko na natuloy, kasi hindi naman pwede don, bawal
naman lumabas. Kaya hindi ko na naipagpatuloy.
A: Aaah. Hmmm. Ahm, tapos, sa tingin mo, yung ibang tao, anong tingin nila sa mga
nakikipag-chat?
R: Yung mga iba, syempre yung mga pinsan ko diba nagkakaroon sila ng... nagkaron na
sila ng mga penpal, ganyan, [iniisip nong ibang tao] ay naku, ganyan-ganyan...nakikipag-
video show sila, pero hindi naman lahat ng nag-aano, nag...

Respondent 13: “Sarah”

A: Ahm, ganano katagal ka nang nag-o-online dating?
R: Matagal na. Ano na…ilang taon na si Dan… Mula pa yan sa anak kong panganay.
Anim.
A: Hmmm. Bale high school ka non?
R: Hindi… ah… ah oo high school ako non nag-o-online.
A: Bakit ka nag-online dating ate?
R: Nung ano…mag-hanap ng ano, magpadala ng pera, ganyan. Pang-suporta. Mag-
hanap ng foreigner, ganyan.
A: Hmm… Yun lang? Yung lang ate ang dahilan? Naghahanap ka rin ng boyfriend?
Naghahanap ka rin ng boyfriend?
R: Hmm dati. Syempre isa palang naman yung anak ko noon. Kaya yun ang ano
ko… Dun ako nag-umpisa para mabuhay ko yung anak kong panganay.
A: Aaaah. Bakit yung Papa niya ate?
R: Wala, nambabae yun noon, yung tatay ng anak ko.
A: Aaaah, kaya naghanap ka naman ngayon ng Amerikano?
R: Mm.
A: Aaaah ganon pala. Yun lang yung dahilan mo ate, para pang-suporta?
R: Hindi. May kaibigan din kasi ako doon na nakilala, na ano, pero
hindi…wala…hindi ako nagkaron ng boyfriend nong una, nung ka-chat ko yung ano…
Ang nakilala ko noon matanda siya, tapos hanggang ngayon kaibigan ko pa rin siya.
Parang foster parent ko lang siya ang lagay, kasi siya nga ang nagbibigay ng pang-ano
namin, yung [sa] school, ganyan, lahat kami binibigyan. Sakin siya nagpapadala tapos
yung mga kapatid ko din binibigyan ng pang-biling school supplies, tsaka hindi siya ano,
hindi bastos yun, yung matanda. Pinaka unang nakilala ko yun, taga Austalia.
 103

A: Ilang taon na siya?

R: 75 na ngayon.
A: Aahhh. Yung ibang mga Amerikano dun sa [site], may mga bastos?
R: May mga bastos doon, lalo na yung iba na mag-offer sila ng pera kunya-kunyari,
ganyan, merong mga iba na ano, magpapadala ng control number… Eh syempre
marunong akong mag-check sa online kung meron o wala. Marunong ako kung may
padala o wala, chi-ne-check ko dun sa online, kunyari Western Union, ganyan. Alam ko
ah.
A: Hmm okay. Ate, ah, may mga nag-punta na bang Amerikano dito, or…
R: Meron na eh, ilan na, dalawa.
A: Dalawa sayo?
R: Yung una, naka-chat ko din yun.
A: Taga saan siya ate?
R: Switzerland yung una, tapos yung pangalawa UK.
A: Anong nagyari sa una?
R: Wala, maraming nanira sakin noon doon, syempre ano, sira-sira, ganyan.
A: Bakit? Bakit kaya?
R: Ewan… Hmm, syrempre minsan ah yung inggit ta syempre nagpapadala nga din
siya, ganyan. Ang daming nag-cha-chat din sa ano ko, yung foreigner ko na una.
A: Kasi mabait?
R: Hmm! Hindi naman siya gaanong mabait din kasi may lahing German din,
syempre yung German medyo matapang, madamot, ganyan din sila, diskumpyado!
Kailangan laging may resibo ka, ganyan, lahat.
A: Lahat ng mga gastusin? Pinapakita mo [ang resibo]?
R: Oo, lahat. Bawat gastusin ko. Lahat ng ano…bawat doktor, bawat ganyan, pinapa-
scan ko talaga, pinapadala ko dun lahat [ng resibo].
A: Yung pangalawa?
R: Yung pangalawa, yun, may sakit na, hindi na bumalik dito. Pumunta siya dito
saglit lang.
A: Ilang beses ate?
R: Isang beses lang. Nong pangalawa naman di na siya nakabalik kasi yung… may
nanloko din samin noon eh, nong nag-a-apply kami ng papeles noon dun sa La
Union.Nasayang yung pera namin noon don. Hindi na siya nakabalik kasi yung… may
sakit siya. Ilang beses na siya naoperahan ng sakit sa puso. Tatlong beses na. Kaya hindi
na siya basta-basta [maka-biyahe] dito.
A: Pero buhay pa ngayon?
R: Oo, nakaka-chat ko pa rin siya minsan. Pero nasa ano nalang siya, nasa ospital,
ganyan.
A: Hmm, eh yung family niya?
R: Madamot yung mga pamilya niya yon, pinababayaan siya doon.
A: Hmmm ganon… Ate, sa tingin mo, ano yung dahilan ng mga foreigner, bakit sila
nakikipag-chat sa Pilipina?
R: Makahanap ng asawa nila na ano, mag-aalaga sa kanila. Karamihan [yun ang
hanap] eh. Mag-alaga sa kanila kasi minsan yung mga…syempre…ano… may mga
asawa silang una, karamihan, pag na-divorce yung mga yon, kinukuha yung ano, kunyari,
hati diba, joint account, hati sila. Samantalang dito sa atin walang divorce divorce.
 104

A: Anong pinagkaiba sa tingin mo ng Pilipina sa ibang lahi, bakit marami…

kadalasan, diba, Pinay yung hinahanap nila.
R: Dito sa atin ket, mga Pilipino ket nauuso yung crab mentality eh. Kasama mo na
nga kapwa mo na nga, binababa pa nila imbes na tulungan ka tapos diba ibababa ka pa
nila.
A: Hmm. Sa pakikipag-chat mo ate, diba, ma… bata ka pa nagsimula, ano yung…sa
tingin mong iniisip ng tao sayo? Diba ikaw yung halos nauna dito sa ano…
R: Oo noon ah, marami ah, hmmm, maraming ano noon. Syrempre unang-una, may
pera, may padala akon noon tapos syempre hindi naman ako madamot. Ganito ganyan,
ganito ganyan, bigay ako dito bigay don. Tapos marami kang kaibigay, syempre ah, ‘pag
may pera ka na marami kang kaibigan, marami kang kapamilya. Pag wala na, wala na.
A: Wala na din ?
R: Oo ah wala na.
A: Tingin mo ate, ano yung ano, ano yung inisip nila sayo? Hindi ka naman nila
iniisipan ng masama, ganyan?
R: Noon ah! Syempre cyber cyber, sabi nila diba?
A: Anong sinasabi nila sayo? Naririnig mo?
R: Oo ah, maraming nagsasabi ng ganyan… eh syempre hindi mo naman maiwasan
ang ganyan na ano (isipin ng mga tao) ganyan ganyan ta syempre hindi pa naman nila
nasubukan na ano, mag-online.
A: Ano ba yung mga iniisip nila ate?
R: Hmm yung iba ah, iniisip nila… yung iba iniisip nila nagtitinda ng ano mo
(katawan). Akala nila nag-sho-show ka, para ka daw ano, ganyan. Sa [Internet] café
naman, bakit maka-show ka ba ngarud don ta public naman, ganyan. Meron din yung
mga ibang tao madudumi talaga.
A: Hanggang ngayon ate nakikipag-chat ka?
R: Bihira nalang. Ano, nakikipag-chat ako syempre sa kaibigan ko nalang. May
kaibigan ako don born-again [Christian]. Born agan siya na ano, kwan, negro.
A: Taga saan?
R: New York. Mabait yon.
A: Anong pinag-uusapan niyo?
R: Wala, ano lang, ‘pag ano kumustahin lang niyan ako. May asawa na rin yon, eh di
syempre… nangungumusta lang siya. Matagal na (kaming magka-chat). Hindi ko pa rin
nakita yon.
A: Wala siyang balak puntahan ka… bisitahin?
R: Ewan ko, itong taon sabi niya sa akin pero may sakit nga siya na ano, high blood
kasi yon. Bago siya… ewan ko kasi niyayaya niya kami sa church nila d’yan sa Manila
nga…
A: Anong church nila ate?
R: Ewan ko, basta ano, Born Again Christian siya eh, ewan ko, nakalimutan ko na
yung pangalan. D’yan siya sa Manila eh, ‘pag ano…
A: Aaaaah nice. Ate, ano, meron ka bang balak, kunyari, mag-asawa pa ng Kano,
ganyan?
R: Hindi ko alam ah, syempre may asawa na ako ngayon.
A: Ay may asawa ka na ngayon?
R: Oo yung asawa ko ngayon… syempre nahihiya na rin ako.
 105

A: Ate yung mga show show…

R: Sa ano yon, sa mga sites sites na ano, na, ano, minsan may trabahong ganon din
yun… Hindi naman karamihan porket sabi nilang show ket bastos na masyado. Meron
din kasi yung sabi nila… may show na halibawa, sabihin nilang, kanta ka, ganyan. Meron
yung, sasayaw ka, ganyan. Meron din yung talagang wild sila. Dun sila…Pero don ka rin
makahanap talaga ng foreigner na mababait, ta syempre naaawa sila kung bakit ka nagta-
trabaho ng ganon. Di lalo silang naaawa ‘pag ganon. Papahintuin ka sa trabaho na ganon,
susuportahan ka nalang ng ano… syempre… Eh syempre no choice ka, eh di dun ka
nalang sa suporta kesa mag-puyat k ang magdamag na ganon.
A: Aaah, may mga mababait din talaga doon?
R: Mababait din talaga sila don kasi hindi lahat ng pumapasok don sa site na yon,
hindi porket… diba ‘pag ganyan na site site, cyber sabi agad nila? Yung ibang tao kasi
iniisip nila agad ganon, syempre hindi pa nila naranasan. Kasi ako naranasan ko na rin
yung ganyan, mag-show, pero hindi katulad nong iba na madumi, ganon, hindi. Minsan
nga maawa nalang sila sayo eh, Hindi ka na nila pag-trabahuhin ng ganon.
A: May bayad ba yon, kapag nag-sho-show ka?
R: Sila ang magbabayad sayo, minsan padalhan ka nalang. Totoo naman talaga.
Hindi naman sila sinungaling na, sasabihin magbibigay [tapos wala naman]. O,
pagkatapos non, e di syempre magkita nanaman kayo ulit sa Internet. Minsan sasabihan
ka, mag-stop ka na sa trabaho na ‘yan, kayo nalang ang mag-chat, sa [Internet] café ka
nalang… O di dun ka na makahanap ng mag-suporta sayo. Hindi naman lahat katulad ng
iniisip nila na pag cyber, marumi agad, cyber [sex] agad. Hindi. Kasi minsan, may ano,
mag-kanta ka, makahanap ka lang nag kausap mo, ganyan, may mga mababait din doon.
A: Tingin mo bakit sila naghahanap ng ano, bakit sila nagpupunta sa sa mga show?
Yung mga Kano ah.
R: Yung iba mag-ano din, dun din sila maghanap ng mapangasawa nila. Yung iba
wala lang, ganyan, for fun lang. Marami na rin akong nakilala na ganyan, nakahanap sila
ng napangasawa nila d’yan. Nandon na sila [ngayon] sa ibang bansa.
A: Nagyon nakikipag-chat ka pa ate, no? Anong nafi-feel mo kapag nakikipa-chat?
R: Wala, ano, nakakatuwa lalo kapag makahanap ka ng kausap mo na ano, yung
mabait, ganyan. Meron din kasi yung talaga pala-biro, ganyan, meron pa yung trying
talaga silang mag-Tagalog, ganyan. Di syempre matuwa ka kasi ginagaya-gaya ka nila.
Kumustahin ka nila, ganyan. Mabait naman yung iba na ano, maka-chat mo. Meron yung
iba na mga bastos, ganyan, syempre pwede mo isa i-block.
A: Anong ginagawa mo kapag binabastos ka?
R: I-block mo tapos pwede mong i-ano, diba sa mga Asian dating, ganyan, may ano
don eh, Report Abuse, pwede mo sila i-Report ah, ganyan, tapos sabihin mo kung anong
dahilan. Tapos pwede mo rin silang i-block, hindi ka na nila ma-aano.
A: Ate, kunwari, diba ano, yung mga tao sa paligid mo dati, parang iniisip na, ay
nakikipag-chat yan, gusto lang ng pera, ganyan…. Anong ginagawa mo kapag naririnig
mo yon? Lumalaban k aba, pinagtatanggol mo yung sarili mo, ganyan?
R: Minsa sinasabi ko na ano ah, na, syempre…minsan, nakakatikim din naman kayo
ng ano ko. Syempre, ng pinaghihirapan ko, ganyan. Syempre ang hirap hirap din kayang
mag-online online magdamag ka din doon! Lalo nong simula, nong umpisa ko palang,
naghanap ako talaga ng ano, ng ka-chat. Para ka ding tanga tanga syempre di ka
marunong sa computer. Natuto nalang ako mag-isa din ah sa sarili ko, ganyan.
 106

A: Pero paano mo sila…pano ka nag-a-adjust sa mga chismis chismis kunyari sayo?

R: Hmm! Wala, syempre iniiwasan ko nalang sila ah. Kaya minsan nandon ako,
tutok nalang ako sa Internet, ganyan. Hindi naman ako magka-pera kung tututukan ko
sila (mga kapitbahay).
A: Hindi mo naman sila inaaway?
R: Hindi ah. Kaso lang minsan…minsan ano, ayun o, may padala nanaman sila,
ganyan-ganyan sila sakin.
A: Pero para sayo wala namang mali sa ginagawa mo?
R: Wala naman. Wala naman akong inaano. Hindi ko naman sila tinatapakan o ina-
agrabiyado. Wala naman akong ginagawa sa kania. Di, tignan nila muna yung sarili nila
ah!
A: Kaya okay lang para sayo na mag-online?
R: Oo ah! Mag-o-online ako!

Respondent 14: “Mia”

A: Ayan, Ate, Ate, para sayo ano yung online dating?
R: Wala, kwan lang… minsan flirting. Flirt ka lang minsan. Trip. Diba? Hahahahaha.
A: Ano yung dahilan mo ate, bakit ka nag-o-online dating?
R: Naghahanap din ako before ng mapapangasawa, syempre… ah, gaya ng mga
friends ko, may mga foreigner na rin sila. Kasi, ah, big help din sila minsan.
A: Hmmm… anong help yung binibigay ate?
R: Ano, kwan, financial, kung anu-ano. Kunwari, hingi ka sa kanila ng tulong,
madali. Basta hindi ka ano, wag kang magsisinungaling kasi ayaw nila ng sinungaling.
A: Ano yung mga ginagawa mo ate para magustuhan ka nong mga Kano, or nong
mga nandon sa site? Kasi diba syemore mamimili-mili sila ng babae?
R: Oo, kumbaga yung kwan, maging faithful ka lang, wag kang sinungaling kasi
ayaw nila ng sinungaling.
A: Hmmm yun lang? Ahm, ate, ano yung mga reasons, mga dahilan… may asawa k
aba ngayon?
R: Oo, meron akong asawa.
A: Pinapayagan ka niya [mag-online dating]?
R: Oo, minsan. Kasi bihira na rin ako mag-online ngayon. Kasi yung ka-chat ko
naman, isa nalang. Yung boyfriend ko [for] more than nine years.
A: Siya lang ang naging boyfriend mo?
R: Hindi. Marami rin. May pumunta na nga sa akin dito, kaya lang hmm! Initsipwera
ko nga *laughs*
A: Bakit?
R: Insane sa kwan *hahahhahahahaha*
A: Ay o? *hahahahaha* Ilang beses kayo nagkita?
R: Isa lang. Isang beses lang. Pero yung boyfriend ko, never pa kami nag-meet. Pero
kami pa rin.
A: Aahhh nice. Taga sa’n siya ate?
R: Cincinnati, Ohio, USA.
A: Ohio, USA. Singe siya?
R: Hindi. Aaaah, sepa, ano, separated.
A: Aaaah separated siya.
 107

R: Hindi pa naman sila totally divorced eh. So, separated.

A: Hmmm, pag nag-cha-chat kayo ate, paano ka nag-a-adjust? Diba syempre iba
yung kultura ng Amerikano.
R: Ah, kwan, diba pag dito gabi, umaga sa kanila. Nag-o-online ako ng gabi para
makipag-usap, kasi yun yung time na pwede siyang i-chat kasi nasa work siya, nasa harap
siya ng computer. 7 to 12 natin.
A: Gabi?
R: Oo gabi.
A: Wow sacrifice. Ano pa ibang nasa-sacrifice mo ate?
R: Yung kwan… Wala, yun lang naman.
A: Time lang?
R: Oo time lang. Tapos minsan, diba gayan dito mahirap ang buhay, syempre i-
remedyo ko rin na makapag-usap kami. Hindi naman all the time, hingi ka lang sa kanya.
Kasi syempre, magagalit din.
A: Ilang beses ka niya ate napadalhan?
R: Maraming beses! Kung sa beses lang, marami ah. Di mo mabilang.
A: Aaah, mga magkano kaya? Yung lahat-lahat na naipadala niya, estimate mo lang
te.
R: Ah, kwan, kung di lang ako sira-ulo, umabot siya sa milyon lahat.
A: Talaga?
R: Oo, umabot sa milyon. Kasi, dati, weekly, 100 dollars, o, magkano equivalent non
sa pesos.
A: Wow nice. Hanggang ngayon kayo pa rin ate no? Wala ba siyang balak puntahan
ka, pakasalan?
R: After two years?
A: Bakit ate two years pa?
R: Mag-ga-graduate yung anak niya sa college. Yung bunso.
A: Wiling ka namang makipag-kita sa kanya?
R: Oo naman.
A: Yung asawa mo?
R: Kung sa kwan, mas kwan naman ako sa kanya. Alam naman ng asawa ko na
ganon, na meron yon. Before pa, alam niya na.
A: Okay lang?
R: Alam din ni foreigner na may asawa at mga anak na ako.
A: Tanggap niya?
R: Oo, kasi diba nga sabi ko, basta wag kang magsisinungaling sa kanila, nandon
yung trust.
A: Na-try mo na ba ate na mag-sinungaling sa kanya, kay foreigner?
R: Oo, na-try ko rin pero inamin ko rin. Pero nag-talo kami syempre. Sabi ko kasi,
hinsi ako makakapunta na makipag-chat kasi may sakit ako, pero dahilan ko lang yon.
Tapos nalaman niya na kung ano lang pala ang ginawa ko. Lalo noon nong dalaga ako.
A: Ilang taon ka na ate?
R: 28.
A: Noon?
R: Ngayon ah.
A: Kelan ka nag-start [sa online dating] ate?
 108

R: 19.
A: 19? Matagal na pala.
R: Malapit na rin kami mag-10 years [ni foreigner]. Sa July.
A: Tapos di pa kayo nagkikita?
R: Never pa.
A: Wow. Tingin mon ate, ano yung…Bakit… bakit nananatili yung relationship nito
kahit hindi pa kayo nagkikita?
R: Syempre nandun yung kwan, yung trust namin sa isa’t-isa. Yun nga yung sabi
niya eh. Kahit long distance tayo, basta nandun yung trust, okay lang, Basta ‘wag kang
magsisinungaling sakin kasi ayoko ng ganyan. Tapos yun, hanggang ngayon nadun pa rin
yung kwan namin.
A: Love mo siya?
R: Oo naman. Alam mo kung pamimiliin mo ‘ko, mas mahal ko yun. Kasi kwan
siya, understanding siya, tapos caring din kahit malayo. Iba magmahal kesa sa asawa ko
dito. Alam naman to ng asawa ko eh.
A: Paano?
R: Yung kwan, lahat, kinukumusta niya ako. Tapos kapag alam niyang may sakit
ako, willing siyang tulungan ako. Tapos kung namomoblema ako sa family ko, sa mga
anak, ganyan, tinutulungan din niya ako. Lalo na ngayon ah, pagdating sa mga anak ko.
A: Ilan anak mo ate?
R: Apat.
A: Malalaki na?
R: Hindi. Maliliit pa ah. Four months [old] lang yung bunso ko eh.
A: Ate, kung iko-compare mo, yung asawa mo…yung dito saka siya (yung
foreigner), paano? Anong masasabi mo?
R: Mas ano ako dun sa malayo. Kumbaga, mas gusto ko siya, kasi yung ano,
syempre, yung isa, nandito nga siya, ang laki naman ng pagkukulang. Kasi hindi niya rin
maiaalis sa akin na nandiyan pa rin yung communication namin nong isa (yung
foreigner).
A: Okay lanag naman yun sa asawa mo dito?
R: Na-open ko din naman sa kanya na magpupunta siya (yung foreigner) dito. At
imi-meet at imi-meet ko siya.
A: Imi-meet lang?
R: Ewan ko kung anong kwan niya. Kasi talagam hindi sa biro, ang talagang plano
niya, magpapakasal kami.
A: Hindi ka kasal dito, no?
R: Hindi. Kaya ayoko magpakasal dito.
A: Willing ka (pakasal don sa foreigner)?
R: Oo naman!
A: Sasama ka sa kanya sa Ohio?
R: Oo.
A: Ate, eto pa. Hmm, anong nararamdaman mo kapag nag-o-online dating ka?
R: ‘Pag sa kanya, syempre masaya ako kapag kausap ko siya.
A: Kasi?
R: Kasi kumbaga, ah, kunyari may problema ako, malungkot ako, gumagawa siya ng
paraan niya para mapangiti lang ako.
 109

A: Example nga ate.

R: Kunyari yung namomoblema ako, sasabihin ko, namomoblema ako sa mga anak
ko, ang hirap ng ganito. O, gagawa siya ng paraan, mag-jo-joke siya, ganyan, para lang
mapangiti ako. Ganyan siya, kaya ayoko ring mawala siya.
A: Ate, ahm, yung mga tao sa paligid…ah, alam mo ba yung…
R: Ay! Yung insecure na kapitbahay? Marami diyan!
A: Ah. Ano pa ate? Ano pang… tingin mo, ano yung tingin sa inyo ng mga tao?
R: Ano, madumi.
A: Marumi na?
R: Syempre kasi ang iisipin nila minsan, kaya kay may ganyan kasi nag-ne-naked sa
thorugh cam. Hindi ba nila naisip na nasa [Internet] café lang ako? So paano ko
magagawa yun? Eh kasi yun ang isip nila eh.
A: Pano ka nag-a-adjust don ate, sa iniisip ng ibang tao?
R: Chos! Ha! Mang-asar lang ako! Gatungan ko pa. Ha, Inggit lang kayo!
A: Hindi ka naman naaapektuhan?
R: Hindi! Bakit naman ako maaapektuhan sa mga yan eh alam kom namang ano lang
sial. Hay!
A: Aaah… Pero ate nong una?
R: Nong una ah naiinis syempre.
A: Kasi parang jina-judge ka nila.
R: Oo, pero di man nila makita ang sarili nila diba.
A: Hmm…
R: Yung yung problema sa iba eh.
A: Pero ate, para sayo, walang mali sa ginagawa mo?
R: Wala. Ah, dati kasi may sarili akong computer. May sarili akong laptop. Kaso
pina-dispose nga ng [foreigner] boyfriend ko kasi nga nag-je-jealous siya. Iniisip niya
nakikipag-chat ako sa iba. Kaya mas prefer niya nang sa [Internet] café kami. Kapag
naman namomoblema ako ng pang-café ko, siya ang bahala.
A: Ano, Skype kayo>
R: Hindi. Sa Facebook or sa YM. Yahoo.
A: Yahoo Messenger?
R: Oo, dun kami madalas. Sa Yahoo Messenger.
A: So, in the future, magkakaro’n ka na ng asawang puti?
R: Sana nga!
A: Pero nag-ho-hope ka na totoo yung mga…na totoo siya?
R: Oo naman. Oo kasi naniniwala pa rin ako s akanya. Kasi tatagal ba kami ng ganon
diba, kung wala lang, o kung hindi siya seryoso. Open naman siya sakin eh. Nakakausap
ko rin mga anak niya.
A: Ilan anak niya ate?
R: Anim.
A: Ohh…
R: Ang last na napangasawa niya Pinay. Taga Bacolod.
A: Aaaah… anong nangyari, bakit [sila naghiwalay]?
R: Nahuli niya daw eh. Nahuhuli niya daw sa kanila na ano… So separated sila kasi
pa tapos yung divorce [papers] nila. Kasi minsan nagpupunta pa yung babae dun.
A: Bakit daw?
 110

R: Ewan. Siguro nag-ho-hope din na magkabalikan sila.

A: Pero ikaw na yung pinili niya?
R: Ewan ko sa kanya. Bahala siya sa buhay niya.
A: Aaaah *laughs*
A: Tingin mo ate, anong nagustuhan niya sa Pilipina?
R: Ang sabi naman niya, kwan daw, mapagmahal, maalaga. Yun yung sabi niya sa
akin. Pero syempre, hindi naman lahat ng foreigners ganyan ang pananaw. Gaya ng iba,
pananaw nila sa Pinay eh scammers. Hindi mo naman maiaalis yun. Aminado naman
siguro na oo, may mga ganoon na babae.

Respondent 15: “Joy”

A: San mo nahanap yung pinapag-chat-an mo ate?
R: Aaaah, binigay lang yun nung friend ko na nag chachat rin eh.
A: Mmmm. Saan mo kadalasang ina-access yung FIlipinoCupid, Ate?
R: Hm, nakalimutan ko na. hehehe. Sa shop.
A: Sa Internet shop?
R: Oo yata.
A: O may sarili kang computer?
R: Dati.
A: Ay may sarili kang computer?
R: Sa computer shop kadalasan non ah. Pero dati bumili ako ng computer. Pero
nasira.
A: Dati Ate, ga’no kadalas mong… ka nag-la-log in?
R: Aaaaahhhh. Hmmm. Matagal-tagal din eh.
A: gano katagal po?
R: Dati araw-araw talaga ahh sobrang tagal nauubos oras ko
A: Hmmm. Tapos Ate, sa tingin mo mga ilang oras ka nag-i-Internet dati?
R: Mga dalawa, tatlo…o mas matagal pa yata eh. Basta matagal din talaga dati.
Ewan ko ba.
A: Sa bawat araw?
R: Mm. oo. Araw-araw yan na mga dalawa, tatlo, apat na oras eh hehehe.
A: Mmm okay… Pano ka po ba naging member ate nong dating site?
R: Mmmm, gano katagal? Mga dalawang taon yata yun o mas matagal pa. alam ko
nay un matagal na eh. Pero ayun nga tinigil ko na din haha alam mo naman dito sa atin.
A: Bat ka nag-stop ate?
R: Nahanap ko na yung asawa ko eh bawal na makipag chat ta magselos.
A: Ayyy. Nakahanap ka rin ba doon ng ano, boyfriend mo?
R: Oo naman ah marami rin kahit papano.
A: Bakit hindi kayo nagkatuluyan ate? Marami naman pala?
R: Nag-asawa na nga ako hehehehe tsaka maraming dahilan kung bakit hindi
natuloy.
A: Aaahh… pero pinuntahan ka po niya dito sa atin?
R: Oo. Marami din silang pumunta ditto eh. Mga dalawa din. Tig-isang lingo lang
naman.
A: Tapos hindi po nag-work?
R: oo hmmm. Tsaka… Ayaw ko rin eh.
 111

A: Bakit?
R: Dumating nga yung ‘Kano… na yun… ayoko *laughs*
A: Bakit nga po ayaw mo siya ate?
R: yung mga ugali kasi nila iba din eh. Parang kakaiba na sa personal.
A: Hmmm, matapang ba sya ate?
R: Kuripot kunam ah.
A: Ay hehe ayaw mo po ng kuripot?
R: Oo ah. Dito na lang ako sa Pilipino atleast kakilala ko na. alam ko na ugali eh.
A: Ay bakit?
R: pipiliin kasi nila lahat. Pagkain mo, damit mo ganyan. Pati nga gamit mo eh
papakialaman pa nila.
A: Taga san siya ate?
R: hmmm sa USA naman
A: Ate… hmmm, tanungin ko lang, bakit ka nakipag-online dating dati?
R: trip ko lang ta kasi pinakilala yan nung isang kaibigan ko sabi nya subukan ko
daw ta maganda. Trip trip talaga hahaha
A: hehe trip tapos sinubukan mo na?
R: Triny ko lang naman. Tinignan ko talaga kung maganda ng aba talaga oh kung
pano bay un.
A: Bakit?
R: Sabi nila maganda nga. Tsaka maganda naman talaga pero parang sayang sap era
kasi lagi sa computer shop araw araw.
A: so sinubukan mo lang po?
R: Oo.
A: ano pong naramdaman mo?
R: Hmm ayos lang. nung una ahh kinkabahan talaga. Pero pag natuto ka
magcomputer ayos na rin. Masaya rin. Trip na enjoy din naman.
A: Ano po sabi ng pamilya mo at mga tao sa paligid mo?
B: Pag naka online ako?
A: Opo
B: Ayos naman. Dalaga naman ako kaya walang masama noon. Tsaka di naman ako
naghuhubad kaya ayos lang talaga sa mama ko. Pero yung iba talagang ichismis ka.