Road Podcast

“ KIND, POLITE ”
ENGLISH FOR WORK
KIND POLITE ENGLISH FOR WORK
Hey it's Annemarie with Speak
Confident English This is exactly where
you want to be every week to get the
confidence you want for your life and
work in English Back in 2016 more than
four years ago I received an email from
one of my students She was feeling
frustrated and discouraged because that
day one of her coworkers said you don't
sound very friendly in English That
comment was shocking to my student
because she felt that she was always
polite kind and friendly in English
especially at work In her email she said
that she was desperate to understand
what she was doing wrong and how she
could change it At that time I
immediately created lessons to help my
student so that we could understand
what was going on what was happening
in the language she was using at work
And what is the difference in English
between direct assertive or aggressive
language and indirect soft or diplomatic
language In some languages these
differences in politeness or formality are
easier to recognize and use You might
have an informal and formal version of
the word you making it easier to
distinguish the level of formality and
politeness Some languages also use
different word endings Unfortunately
English isn't so clear cut but we do have a
number of strategies we can use
different changes we can make to our
language to soften it make it kind polite
and formal Now before I get started
with today's lesson there are two things I
want you to know Number one there are
times when it is perfectly appropriate
and even necessary to be more assertive
or direct in English And it's possible to be
assertive or direct and still be polite I
have a full lesson on this topic of how to
be assertive and polite in English I'll share
a link to that lesson in the notes below
this video The second thing I want you to
remember is that language is flexible We
change our language depending on the
situation who we're talking to and maybe
even how we're feeling that day Also
some of us are naturally more direct or
indirect All of that is okay My goal in this
lesson today is to give you strategies that
allow you to be flexible in English What
that means is you can choose what you
want to say in English and how you want
to say it to best express yourself with
that Let's go ahead and get started with
our first of four strategies for kind polite
English strategy Number one is use
modals are words like could should
might and would It seems surprising and
simple but using modals can change a
direct order or an aggressive question
into a polite request modals soften our
language and they increase the level of
formality or politeness If your native
language has formal and informal
versions of the word you making those
changes between those words is a clear
signal of formality and politeness
changing a sentence or a question Using
modals does the same thing If I'm at a
coffee shop with my husband my sister
or my best friend I might say order me a
latte It's a clear direct order It's not
necessarily rude but I don't need to be so
polite or formal with my husband or my
sister But let's imagine that I've started a
new job And I go out for coffee with my
new coworkers who I don't know very
well in that situation I might not want to
be so casual I don't want to give a direct
order It's too familiar Instead I might
want to increase the level of formality
and politeness by using a modal and
asking would you get me a coffee please
That little change between order me a
coffee and would you order mea coffee
please immediately softens language and
makes it more polite Let's go over one
more example that's very common at
work Those situations when you're
waiting for a coworker to send you some
information you could send an email to
your coworker that says send me the
documents by the end of the day Just
like that example order me a coffee If
someone says send me those
documents by the end of the day it is
clear concise and direct and that isn't
necessarily wrong or inappropriate There
are definitely times when we need to be
direct If you're a supervisor and you've
already asked for these documents three
times today then it's perfectly
appropriate to be more assertive and
direct in your request But if you want to
change that order into a polite request
we can add a modal could you send me
those documents by the end of the day
Before I go onto strategy number two if
you want more examples like this of how
to use modals to soften your language I
have those available for you in the online
lesson at my Speak Confident English
website You can get a link to that lesson
just below this video Now let's move on
to strategy Number two for kind polite
language in English And this one is change
your grammar just like using a modal a
simple change of your grammar tense can
have an immediate impact on how
director indirect your languages in English
The present simple tense can sometimes
sound direct So to be more indirect we'll
change the grammar into the progressive
form the ING form or the past tense We
do this especially with words like hope
feel think want and wonder Let me give
you a couple of examples in an email or
telephone conversation I could ask my
colleague do you have time to meet
tomorrow That question is perfectly
appropriate If I want my message to be
very direct and clear or if it's a casual
situation maybe this is someone I'm very
comfortable with and it's okay to be less
formal with my language But if I want to
increase that level of formality if I want to
show an extra layer of politeness or be
more indirect then I can use either the
progressive form or the past tense And I
can add one of those words like wonder
I was wondering if you had time to meet
today I wondered if you had time to
meet today That shift from the present
simple into the past or progressive form
immediately changes that level of
politeness and formality Another
situation where I might use this more
polite form is if I know my coworker is
particularly busy maybe she has a
deadline at the end of the day And I
know that she does not have a lot of
time Then I might ask in a more polite
indirect way because I know my request
is going to add one more thing to her to
do list The second example is one I often
use when I'm meeting people for the
very first time let's say that you are
attending an international conference
You meet someone and have a fantastic
conversation about the presentation you
just saw but you didn't quite catch the
person's name before you finish that
conversation You could say something
like what's your name again Or you could
increase the level of politeness and
formality by saying what did you say your
name was What's your name again What
did you say your name was Once again
that little change in grammar tense has
an immediate impact on that level
offormality and politeness strategy
Number three for kind polite language in
English is to use vague language Vague
means not too specific or too direct to do
this We use little expressions like a little
a bit not quite kind of around and slightly
For example if someone misunderstands
me in a conversation I could respond
with that's not what I said That is a clear
direct response And again perfectly
appropriate In some situations I would
definitely use that response If I'm
chatting with someone I know very well
and feel comfortable with but if I want to
increase that level of politeness and
formality I would change my response to
that's not quite what I said That's not
what I said That's not quite what I said
That little change has an immediate
impact on that politeness and formality
Another example let's say that you're
partnering with a marketing agency
Maybe your company is updating your
brand and logo This marketing agency
brings you their very first draft And as
you're reviewing it you think this is not
what I want or this is not what I was
thinking Again you could respond with
that and be very direct or clear or you can
soften it by saying that's not exactly what
I had in mind before I move on to our
final strategy today if you want more
examples of how to use that qualifying
language with words like a bit kind of
and so on I have many more examples for
you available in my online lesson Again
I'll leave a link to that lesson below this
video in the notes and now strategy
number four for a kind polite language in
English is to use negative questions that
might be counterintuitive but using a
negative question is a great way to be
more diplomatic When you're giving
advice offering a suggestion making a
recommendation or expressing your
opinion Let me give you two quick
examples If you're in a team meeting
discussing the final draft of a product you
could say we need to review these
documents one more time with direct
clear assertive language Or you could
say don't you think we should review
these documents one more time In that
second example I'm shifting a negative
question Don't you think we need to
review these again Don't you think we
should review these again Do you notice
I'm also using a modal should both of
these responses are perfectly appropriate
There is a time and a place for both but
this second example allows you to soften
your language and be a bit more
diplomatic In the second example let's
say that you and your team are trying to
solve a budgeting problem and you have
a possible solution You could say we
need to cut our marketing budget or
shouldn't we cut our marketing budget
Instead of being a direct clear order we
need to cut the marketing budget It
becomes a polite suggestion or
recommendation like everything we've
talked about today both of those
responses can be perfectly appropriate
depending on the situation you're in and
how you want to express yourself Like I
said at the beginning of the video today I
want to help you be more flexible in the
language to help you have options and
the ability to choose what you want to
say and how you want to say it
depending on the situation you're in
Before we finish today I have two
challenge questions for you I want you to
immediately try to practice some of what
you've learned today Challenge question
Number one is you have a meeting
scheduled with your boss tomorrow but
something came up and you need to
request changing the time of that
meeting How would you do that in an
email or a telephone call What language
could you use from today's lesson for a
polite formal request challenge Number
two is you're in a meeting with a
potential new client during your
conversation This potential client says
something that you didn't quite
understand and you want them to repeat
it So how would you ask that in a formal
polite way You can share your answers
with me in the comment section below
and while you're there I recommend
reading the comments or answers from
others in the Confident English
community It's a great way for you to see
how many options are available when we
use these different strategies for polite
kind language in English

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