Personal Integration Paper

Student: Cristina Mak Mai

Student number: C0522599

Instructor: Anneke Van Alderwegen

Course: Psyc 154 Interpersonal skills

Term: Winter 2023

 Personal Integration Paper

As we went through and coming to an end soon to my beloved and memorable

Interpersonal Skills psychology class many competence areas were developed

throughout this course in order to pull out and perfectionate these abilities in all aspects

of my personal and professional life.

In the first section of my personal integration paper I am looking at elements in Chapter

8: Dynamics of Intimate relationships. Since, I have been interested on how psychology

works in masculine and feminine relationships and what the needs of the individuals are

and what I want to attaint into my personal life. First of all, knowing the pillars on why

we form relationships will help to have a better and a general overview and

understanding. Disclosure and proximity, both are main characteristics in which I find

valuable and look for to form and build up a relationship. As closeness not only

physical is important to me, acts of services, quality time and words of affirmation. Find

someone who I can be my authentic-self, being real and my own self, feel that I am

listened to and validated, with supportive and agreement responses, promptings instead

of discredit the other person perspective. This will pull off a special connection and a

solid integrating bond. Furthermore, reciprocity which means the mutual sharing, going

back and forward within individuals, may help thrive good feelings, make them happier

and feel self-fulfilled. Thus, this will lead into an intimate relationship. The latter term

is often described as the motivation of one individual to share the own privacy with

another one. For me, an intimate relationship doesn’t always mean intercourse, but

when I identify my companions as the most involved, committed, deepest and the

closest. Then, I can tell why I did form an intimate relationship with this individual. I

can recall maybe a significant other, a family member or some other close friend, a co-
worker and perhaps a pet. Talking about intimate relationships opens a whole world of

new possibilities and dimensions. I call it dimensions of intimacy. These domains are

for example: emotional, in this stage is important the exchange of important

information and feelings in which I appreciate and value the utmost because the person

is showing openness, a quality that might seem difficult for many people if they are not

always willing to talk and express themselves. Nevertheless, showing empathy,

supporting response and active listening would build up trustfulness. Putting oneself

in another´s person shoes and knowing what is going through. The second more

important stage is, intellectual, which is the exchange of ideas in a relationship, I agree

that communication should be respectful, tolerant and comprehensive although dealing

within two different arguments or statements. Finally, shared activities, when I get to

experience mutual interest or hobbies with someone who is intimate and we enjoy doing

it together, creating lovely memories and releasing oxytocin, which is the hormone that

triggers happiness.

In the second section of my personal integration paper. I would like to look up elements

from Chapter 2, which refers to communication and the self. As mentioned before,

communication is always important in all aspects of life and even more in relationships.

The way we perceive life through our senses causes immense changes within our

environment. The discovery of what an absolute truth is can oftentimes lead us to

perceive there is no absolute truth. So that, talking about who you are, your moods,

feelings like: happiness, sadness. Appearance, the way you look with virtues and

defects, my social traits such as easy going, friendly, etc. Do they really matter and

describe my real self? One thing I have learn throughout this course is to know myself

better, self-concept explains it wider. It is the perception I hold for my own self, my
beliefs, my thoughts and inputs into the environment surrounding me. Sometimes it is

hard to find who you are if you are when trying to fit into a new group. Trying to look

for our identity management, how this can influence me directly and in order to fit. I

just do what everyone else does taking as clear example the nearest reference groups,

learn their costumes, traditions and culture. It is good to also share with others and it is

nice to have people that can have a positive concept about me. For me, my presenting

self is just as important as other aspects of my life like perceived-self. My personal

saying is your outsides is the mirror of your insides and people will notice it, when you

are vibrant, full of life, so brightly coloured, you attract and vibe in high energy. That

being said, doing activities like working on myself, doing exercise, reading, feeding my

spirit, writing, taking therapy, gardening are things that I enjoy doing for myself and

help me grow as a person. In addition, a neat image just bathed, perfumed and using

nice clothes is when I feel the utmost comfortable. When I invest and take care of

myself, I am implying that I am valuing, loving, nourishing and this could also be

described as self-love. If one doesn’t love themselves, who will do that for you, right?