9 Cold Email Copywriting Formulas That Boost Response Rates

1. Social Connection - Desired Outcome - Context

Example:

Hi John - I came across your name through our work with Sean Emberley,
Sales Ops Analyst at Planview.

He’s running payment calculations for 150 reps reps in 2 hours with eight
comp plans - 99% payment accuracy.

Since you have 100+ reps, I thought you might be interested too.”

2. Before - After - Solution - Proof

Example:

"John - does calculating and running variable comp for 100+ payees @
ACME take 5+ hours? My condolences :-). Imagine cutting 5 hours into 5
min. (You don’t have to imagine it - 3-minute DEMO VID URL)."

Are you open to reviewing your options for determining payouts?”

3. Proactively address common objections: I don't have time. This won't

work for me. I don't believe you. I don't want to meet with a salesperson.

Example:

"John - You can determine payouts for 100+ reps with 98% payout
accuracy even if rules are messy -stuff like no contracts, no software, comp
plans tied to multiple things, ramp periods, estimation, etc. (3 min DEMO
VIDEO URL)"

The Badass B2B Growth Guide - Josh Braun

4. Observation - Illumination Question - Cost of Doing Nothing

Example:

"John - Noticed you have 100+ reps. (Yes, I count reps for a living :-) Have
you tried automating comp payouts so you don't have to spend a lot of time
getting data out of Salesforce?”

“John - Looks like you have 150+ reps. Have you considered automating
comp payouts to reduce errors? ACME is seeing accuracy over 98%. No
time spent getting data out of Salesforce.”

5. The Cliffhanger.

Example:

"John - Gong shed Excel & Crystal Reports - they’re seeing zero
complaints from reps re their calculations or statements. Payees preview
updated pay statements as deals close. Open to seeing a 2 minute video
on how they did it?”

6. Problem - Agitate - Solve - Proof

"Steve, are you spending 2-3 biz days copying/pasting + getting data out of
Salesforce to run variable calculations?

Over 4k Sales Ops Analysts are running calculations for 150+ payees in
2.1 hours.

See how: (DEMO vid URL)."

The Badass B2B Growth Guide - Josh Braun

7. Trigger - Contrast - Social Proof

Example:

"Steve - End of Q4. You have 100+ commission statements to run. My

condolences :-).

Sales Ops Analysts at X & Y are running variable comp for 150+ payees in
2 hours compared to 3 days before - accuracy within 1% even with
adjustments/kickers based on various loan products.

Want to know how they're doing it?"

8. Social Proof - Desired Outcome - Objection

Example:

“Hey Pete - Sean Emberley, Sales Operations Analyst at Planview, is

calculating/running payouts for 120+ payees in 2 hours with 99% accuracy.
Even with adjustments for kickers based on various loan products.

Thought you might be interested since you have 100+ payees.”

9. Desired Outcome - Context - Low Friction Offer

Example:

“Hey John - Built an app that runs payment calculations for 150 reps reps in
2 hours with eight comp plans - 99% payment accuracy. Since you have
100 reps I thought you might be interested. Open to a 2 minute video so
you can see how it works?”

The Badass B2B Growth Guide - Josh Braun