H2 2023 NAJWA’S ESSAYS JUNE 2023

ESSAY 1 (2019 Qn 4)

Intro

- Unpacking of claim
- response to claim
- stand : “UNSC played a more direct and decisive role”

POA1
- yes, valid – ascribed role in the charter - and relevant example
- counterpoint provided and relevant example to show the limitations imposed by superpower on his
role

POA2
- yes, valid – role in peacekeeping mission – relevant example
- counterpoint provided and relevant example to show limitations of his role

POB1(?)
- yes, valid – initiative to overcome Cold War paralysis
- however, dependent on superpower appointment of the UNSG that limits his effectiveness

Conclusion
- reiteration of main claim

Comments (19)
Good start to the discussion in your first two points that are in agreement with the claims of the
question, with relevant counterpoint to balance the claim and with relevant example. Given these, the
third point did not go as what one would expect, based on the stand you have taken in the introduction;
a discussion on how the :UNSC played a more direct and decisive role”.

As the given factor is based on an actor – UNSG – you have correctly identified another actor/structure
to engage in a discussion/analysis. However, as a substantive point, you have not discussed this in an
extended manner on its own, and across the timeline.

Definition of “depended primarily” was not effectively used as a point of analysis – to show that while
other factors did exert and influence, the ultimate outcome was fundamentally due to the given factor.
You initiated such a discussion in the 2 dimensions of your first 2 points – raising the issue and the
peacekeeping operations. However, you didn’t further demonstrate how the balance of the role of the
different actors played a more significant/fundamental role from the other factor that you have
identified.
ESSAY 2 (TMJC)

INTRO
- unpacking of claim
- agreement with claim
- stand : “reductive and understated account of UNGA’s role”

POA1
- yes, on account of its ascribed role limited by the charter – relevant articles cited
- relevant case study cited

POB1
- no, role of UNGA in giving political voice to newly independent countries and NAM
- relevant elaboration and examples cited

POB2
- no, role in breaking out of the deadlock
- relevant example cited

POB3
- no, role as platform for weight of international community to be asserted
- example of Singapore and ASEAN cited

Conclusion
- reiterated claim

Comments (22)
Sound arguments presented in the essay, with relevant examples cited

Stand – perhaps you could include how ‘talkshop’ is a very dismissive evaluation of the UNGA too.

POB2 – perhaps highlight how the deadlock was ideological in nature, coloured by superpower
interests, which led to institutional paralysis

You could tie all of your POBs together to show how the UNGA played a critical role to counterbalance
the structural power of the UNSC in the UN, hence making it not merely a talkshop, but a critical role
in maintaining international peace.
ESSAY 3 (VJC Question 5)

Intro
- unpacking of claim : different aspects identified : consensus in decision-making, commitment of
resources, successful implementation
- agreement with claim
- main argument identified

POB1
- no, due to veto power leading to UNSC paralysis
- relevant example cited
- counterpoint : post-Cold War a different story

POA1
- yes, when there is convergence with SP interests
- relevant example cited for commitment of resources

POB2
- no, “growing number of conflicts and intensity with which these crises occurred” during post-CW
period
– making mandates difficult

Comments (21)
Clear criteria identified to assess effectiveness in the introduction.
The first 2 paragraphs were ok. With clear points being made and relevant examples cited.
The last paragraph was weakly developed – based on the criteria you have identified, this would be an
analysis of implementation of mission/mandate. The paragraph did not effectively analyse and explain
why this was a success/failure/limitation. There was just an assertion.
You could strengthen your argument further by developing a stronger coherence across the paragraphs,
especially in your summary of what determined/influence/affected the UN’s ability to stay relevant –
your conclusion merely identified the role of SP, but your third point raised another important reason,
which wasn’t highlighted in your conclusion
ESSAY 4 (EJC Qn 4)

Intro
- clear definition of key words and criteria of both “inhibited”, “structure” and “effectiveness
- stand identified : “did inhibit…but not the most significant roadblock”

POA1
- yes, role of veto power
- relevant examples cited
- counterpoint : not overstate the point as Uniting for Peace showed structural reforms/amendments
empowered it to overcome such limits

POA2
- yes, role of host state consent (sovereignty)
- relevant Cold War example cited (good to cite post-CW example here too)

POA3
- yes, inadequate mandate for missions
- relevant case study

Conclusion

- ‘…it played a less decisive role than the will of the superpowers in maintaining ….”

Comments (20)
The introduction had a clear line of argument identified, after the different parts of the question was
analysed. Good.
The first 2 points were clearly explained and had relevant example.
The last point could be strengthened with a clearer discussion of how the mandates which the UN could
enact and impose between the Cold War and post Cold had to be modified to adapt to the changed
nature /complex nature of the conflict.

While the conclusion points to an alternative conclusive point – the role of superpower interests – this
point was consistently seen/argued throughout the essay as a counterpoint to the claim, across time
and across the paragraphs.
ESSAY 5 (RI Qn 2)

Intro
- identified “earlier problems : overreliance on America and extensive trade liberalization”
- “problems in the global economy from 1973” – defined as Crisis Decades
- stand identified

POA1
- role of US economic leadership and its impact on (in)stability of the global economy as pressures on
American economy started to show
- good discussion
- the whole paragraph is a discussion of this point : “ Hence, as an underlying reason….”
- However, the more important point of analysis which you mentioned in passing is this : “US withdrawal
from economic leadership in the long term drove the economic problems experienced by the countries
in the Crisis decades”

POB1
- role of trigger factor and a discussion on its impact on other subsequent economic problems
- causal connections explained clearly
-

POA2
- role of protectionism AND how it could be traced to the earlier development of liberalization
- discussion of how liberalization and subsequent protectionism worsened the impact of the crisis
- causal connections clearly made between the two time period.

Comments (24)
Good discussion at showing the interaction across time of the factors that you have identified, and their
respective role in both the time period. And your argument of how the given factor is true across time.
ESSAY 6 (NYJC)

Intro
- unpacking of the claim
- stand identified (a bit too long for an introduction)

POA
- “the Debt crisis had stymied the global trade and deepened the economic hardships of Third World
countries”
- clear explanation of role of factor
- linking statement (last line of the paragraph) to transit to the next paragraph

POB1
- role of 1970s crisis “this resulted in decades of stagflation” – explain how did this happen
- “bloomed” – birthed ?
- causal links for the different factors evaluated and explained

POB 2
- role of US : “the resultant impact was that American economic problems spilled over to the rest of the
globe”
- “its inadequacies would be overtly realized in the later developments in the Middle East.”

Conclusion
role of different factors/actors identified in contributing the historical phenomenon

Comments (24)

Good discussion of the role of the different factors/actors in producing the “end to the development of
the Global Economy”
In the discussion, it would be good to make the impact on the development of global economy more
explicit, and earlier in your paragraph.