Convalescence rom ChristianityCONVALESCENCE FROM CHRISTIANITY By Wayne Hill and Tani Jantsang Recently there has been much ink spilt about how horrible and character damaging it is to be victimized by alleged Satanists. In fact, an entire corpus of literature has sprung up, complete with specialized terms (example, "breeder’), to explain the "unspeakable horrors" that "millions" experience at the hands of alleged Satanists. Just how real all ofthis is (or, if any of itis) is irelevant, though the FBI thoroughly investigated it ‘and now itis known that these people were brainwashed by their doctors! Stil, the new witch hunts are on. In point of fact, the real perpetrators of human misery are not so-called Satarists ata. Rather, its Christianity in the form of moralistcally based Paviovianism; this “animal abuse" has been practiced universally in the Western World fortwo thousand years. Other than a “Yew voices crying out in the wildemess," there has never been any outcry about the misery and character assassination that Christians have caused. Indeed, their manipulation of human character is praised as something good, acceptable, even necessary. Horrendous scenarios are painted of a world without morals 60 that any Voices inciined to question the brutality shown to children especially, but man in general, ae silenced by the monstrous images of uncontrolled vice and crime, elc. Life would be a free-for-all, anarchistic crimeldrug/sex spree, with no rules and with virtually everyone being victimized: thus would they have people believe. Meanwhile, the real cruelty, the real brutality, is being practiced against primarily small children in order to make them "good litte Christians," This form of abuse is so universal, so accepted, so UNNOTICED, that asking the average person nowadays about Christian conditioning would draw the same answer as asking a fish (if they could answer ), "What do you think about water?" The fish would ask, "What conditioning?" "What water?" "But they use anti-Christian/’satanic’ symbols and trappings!" the Christians would no doubt scream, referring to reported cases of child abuse involving satanic’ omamentation. But it was Christians (in France, in the 1780's) who dreamed up the “Satanic mass" in the fist place. Infact, the entire concept of evil as understood in the West is exactly that: the fp side of Christianity, the opposite of the "goodness" of Christianity. So-called evil in the West is one half of a dualism, the whole of which is Christianity. Without Christianity there would be rio Satan and no evil, no Black Mass, no priests in black robes. “Christians using symbols that Christians consider ‘evi to represent evil as conceived by Chistian minds" ~ that could be said to encepsulate both the {00d and the evil we see in our society. The common denominator here is STILL: Christian. ‘There is no rash of Satanists sexually abusing children. That accusation isa lie. (There ARE Catholic Priests doing it..) Rather, itis Christians who feel “evil (or want to feel evil) doing this, and adopting appropriate Christian-conceived nomenclature in order to make the mood “ust so so." What these twisted monsters do to children is horrible. But what they do when they want to "teach the children to be good! is just as bad. Let us take a close-up look a it in detail A child is bom. Fortunately, the holding of the feet and slapping is going out of style. The instant circumcision for males is stil pretty common, however. The children are segregated in a pen together, no dividers between them. They are thus exposed to each other (not such a good idea in case any diseases are present) so that, in the case of a male, no mom nearby, his penis is buried, he is in a pen with a bunch of other kids, half of whom are screaming all the time... Nice way to enter the world, no? Until recently psychologists and health care personnel thought there was nothing wrong with this. Only recently, once it was discovered thatthe first impressions and sensations a child receives have a marked effect Cn his later personality, were (some of) these barbaric abuses halted or diminished. Nice work, humanitarians! But the damage has already been done: to milions. ttis understandable in Christian terms that a child, product of intercourse (gads!) and bor in sin, should be made to greet the world in pain and suffering. They would not have it any other way. But this is only the beginning ‘A child, just bor, instincts stil pure, will instantly know what he wants: Mom, the breast and the warm encircling arms. Children already know, INSTINCTIVELY, how to feed and what feeds them; it's inbom, a part ‘of what itis to be a human, genetically hard-wired into us. Instead, mom is somewhat embarrassed when her Child tries to get close to the teat. "How inappropriate” A cold, hard, wet botle is given to him instead. Or, if he is lucky, one that has been warmed. But no mom. Or not as much mom as he would like. No antibodies ‘CONVALESCENCE FROM CHRISTIANITY - HILL ANO JANTSANG -© P. Marsh, 1990-PAGE 1 OF 20,received from the mother in the milk, though the child, of course, could not know that. The instinct is there however; very strongly there, and it is DENIED. One who has witnessed a mother cat nurse her kittens may hhave some idea of the bond which would naturally exist between a child and its mother, Nature being allowed to take Her course. What kind of mother would find breast feeding to be "indecent?" One already concemed about the "spiritual well-being" of her child and of course herself; ie. a Christian mom, cross around her neck. (Or perhaps a mother who lacks oxytocin, a chemical which MAKES HER WANT to hug the child). But let us continue, the conditioning is not finished. AA year later. Every time junior wants to touch himself in (ahem...) CERTAIN places, a shocked mother rushes ‘over and says, "Nol NO! Don't touch yourself there! ts evill I's bad!” Its not uncommon for infant males to ‘occasionally get erections. One can only imagine the HORROR on mom's face when this happens. And if junior should wonder about doo-doo, and... he'd probably be shaken and screamed at by a mother in horror. ‘And what kind of expression does the Christian mother have on her face? That of the mother who has ‘experienced supreme pleasure at conception and at having had this child? Or the face of a HAG who had no joy from start to finish ofthis pregnancy? There are many details; it would be too much to cover all of them. But after having been brought into the world in pain, noise and loneliness, our young child is informed (by spoken word mostly, but at this age more by voice tone and facial expression) that there is something wrong with his body, or rather a certain part of it, He has also learned that i's "bad" to not have those damned things mom makes him wear called clothes. He gave up taking them off, after, having taken them off over and over, mommy finally screamed at him and hurt him, Once a child reaches the age of two or so in a Christian house, he will no doubt begin to hear, "Don't do that; mommy won't love you any more if you do that.” Thus, he learns that love is dependant on his actions, itis something one gets only when one does (or does not do), rather than what one feels and this love definitely has CONDITIONS placed on it. He may also be told at about this time, "God is watching you." The idea that someone, a "god-parent" (for all such conceptions of deity in the mind of a young child will invariably resemble a parent), is watching all the time and sees everything a child does, can strike terror in his heart. He realizes (and is told) that it doesn't matter what he does; god-parent sees all, even into the heart and desires. So there is no escape, no privacy, no fantasy, no speculation about probable events without the newly experienced feeling of gui The child thinks, wonders why he's constantly being told to do this and not do what he wants, usually with NO logical explanation except “Authority says so," with "God" being the BIGGEST (most feared) authority. Then he learns "Big Brother is watching him,” and will know if he even thinks about doing anything that mommy and daddy (and god-parent) disapprove of. The deity becomes inter- twined with the parents in this way. Or, "Honor thy father and thy Mother.” The child learns fear about his body, fear about spontaneity, and begins to develop the reaction technique that the Christian faith demands: conscious questioning of every motive, every feeling, every desire to determine if it is acceptable to god-parent and to mom and dad for whom he may occasionally feel a flicker of HATE. He will of course attribute this to his own evil nature, as he has been told that god:parent says you have to honor them. Then comes the threat of "eternal damnation.” Mommy will cause pain if her wishes are disobeyed. But god-parent, all-seeing tyrant in the sky, will roast you forever if you even think about doing something that he doesnt like. All told, the motivating factor in the behavior of the child becomes defensive, and is based on fear. The aspect of quilt is then learned. And sin. Junior knows that sometimes he wants to do things that mommy told him are evil. He questions why he would want to do something that is bad. If he asks his parents they will tell him that all men are sinful and dirty in the ‘eyes of god, and all were born in sin. By the time junior is five, he will have absorbed the more subtle points of the Christian faith. And the conditioning, begun at bith, will have melded with his mind and altered his reactions and thought processes. What will he have learned? That the child-parent relationship is one of master and servant. Parents are “untouchable” and can not be reached. When they are asked questions, they frequently become hostile and start foaming at the mouth about sin and damnation. Even if they are wrong, criticism brings instant Punishment. Utimately, they are enemies, even though they "have to he honored." The child may hate them for smothering him and then fee! “evi for hating them because God says to honor ther... In order to keep out of trouble with parents and with God he has become his own "Big Brother" (as in "Big Brother is watching YOU:’), having closed off whole avenues of experience as leading to pain or damnation, or being suspect of same. ‘All love and acceptance is conditional and is based only on good deeds and obeying. No one can be trusted; many things can not be talked about at all (especially "why | have this thing between my legs, and Suzie across the siteet doesn..”) and many things that, f shared with someone, may get back to the parents, ‘or spread all over and embarrass them, and so forth. An element of helplessness is felt because itis possible to explain many feelings and thoughts only in terms of “sin’; being evil and dirty by nature. The whole CONVALESCENCE FROM CHRISTIANITY -HILL AND JANTSANG- © P. Marsh, 1990 -PAGE 2.0F 20relationship in the house is one of caution and forced politeness. There is no real communication, sincerity or trust; only guarded caution and defensiveness. "Remember last week when | told mom that Suzie was naked in the poo! in her back yard? The look of horror, shock, terror, as she repeated my word 'NA-ked??7' Then she told me Suzie was evil fithy, etc., and told me | couldn't play with her any more...” By this age, the child will n-doubt be dragged to church after he is made to dress up in stuffy clothes when he'd rather be outside playing (stuck in church where the minister will eye him with the content satisfaction a roast turkey must experience if itwere stl sentient on the Thanksgiving day dinner plate...). And hell be forced to sit for an hour and a half, listening to the self-righteous verbal farts of a stif-necked windbag. "God loves this. God hates that. God smites... God punishes the unrighteous... eternal darmnation.." etc. Woe to this poor kid if he is foolish enough to innocently say, "But Id rather be playing with my friends." Ach! The froth this \would draw from them about "your etemal soul and al the rest oft, can only be imagined Its a charade, an act, a lie, these "Christian families.” The parents are ultimately nothing more than zookeepers, attempting to tame the brute that fate entrusted to them. Appearances are very important however: "Let's pretend we're all good!” is of utmost consideration. Whatever goes on behind the scenes... the man may drink all the time, and beat the kids, or his wife. But battered or not, hangover or not, it's Sunday so got to get the kids together and go to church, black eye or not! She will tell them her husband is il. They will seem caring and understanding. But when she's not around they will snicker at the "sinner" who got drunk and couldn't make it to church! (They dont let their hangovers stop them from going to the Lord's house; oh no. Wouldn't want people to talk... ‘And if things were not bad enough, along comes puberty for junior. He sits in the math class, hormones going wild. He stares at a state wall while a teacher draws curious squiggles on it, meaningless junk like Puberty time and all he can think about is... By now he knows this poking thing between his legs course... The conditioning is, by now, so effective that its uty unconscious and taken for granted. Once his determination broke down, and he was so horny he just had to masturbate there in his room. Mom walked in (couldn't lock the doors; that's forbidden), and oh, the horror, the pain, the shame, the anguish, that was watten on her face. Later that week he found a book that was placed on his shelf. It pretended to be a medical book but dealt with how men were "depleted" by emissions, and gave instructions on how to sleep to avok them, as well as addressing the abomination of masturbation... He'd felt so ashamed then: A viciim of "evi ie, the penis... Then junior sew Suzie the other day. She had matured quite well he was drawn to her like iron to @ magnet. But he noticed that sometimes when he was around her, he got an erection... and felt ashamed, and left her with some excuse about homework. He knew that women are evil that they lead men to ruin and cause them to destroy themselves, like sailors pursuing the Sirens. He felt a conflict about ths, as he did about so many things. He knew what he felt was evi, but could not help but feel it. The fact that he did feel it only confirmed what they said in church, about how man loves sin. If only he could be "good If only he could be "clean and white." If only Pretty sorry, the above sketch of @ Christian boy as he grows up. But universal. That story, or ones similar to it, has happened milions of times. Children are so naive, trusting, and innocent. They look to their elders, especially their parents, for guidance. With Christian parents, the "guidance" is an infection, introduced at birth and nurtured; facial expression, tone of voice, doctrine, reward and punishment, acceptance or rejection, love or hate... all these (and many more) depend on whether or not the child goes along with the Paviovian/Christian conditioning that he is exposed to 24 hours a day, seven days a week, in a Christian house. Is it any wonder that today people are insanely obsessed with ethics and the metaphysical, even when they have "rejected" Christianity? Or those who wander from sensation to sensation, from woman to woman, from high to high, all in an attempt to get a “high” that they vaguely sense should be theirs, but just can't seem to find? They both are victims of the same conditioning and respond in two different ways to the same problem; the same thing is missing in them, and is missing because of Christian conditioning. They are Cultural Christians, whether they are religious or not. What are they missing? They KNOW they are missing something Jung called it the “Anima.” Neurologists (¢.g., Damasio) call it the “real self." It could best be described here as the conscious mind, or left brain, yielding to the heart, or the instincts/right brain and allowing events to flow around us, through us, into us, and fulfill themselves. Many men, for example, will see a movie that makes them want to cry. But because of Christian conditioning, in which men are “silent, strong and tough.” they will fight this urge, suppress it (as they have fought and suppressed so many things their hearts have wanted to do). This is Christian’ “Masculine’/Left-Brain/defensive behavior. It is also incomprehensible. How could a man be made weaker by crying? I's insane. Yes, the Christian image of man as a rock-head, man as an ‘CONVALESCENCE FROM CHRISTIANITY - HILL AND JANTSANG- © P. Marsh, 1990-PAGE 3 OF 20,unfeeling moron, is true enough. They have cultivated andior found just this type of man to perform their “dirtiest” deeds. Today, due to shifting cultural patterns, many men, thinking they are anti-Christian, therefore “tough,” emulate just this same sort of behavior; impermeable, thick-headed, tough, violent, "A mighty fortress is our god.” Let's conjure up, then, the "perfect Christian’, the end result of Christian conditioning, perfected and ideal: Here is a man, his face betrays him, for whom the word is a threatening, evil place. It dazzies and sparkles with a million beauties and wonders, all tricks of Satan to waylay him on the road to Salvation. So he hates it all and wars against it all, His children, too, must be conditioned so that the shiny distractions of Satan do not tempt them. To that end. every time his child shows an interest in anything "worldly," that interest has to be squashed. Every time the child is proud of something he did, the feeling of accomplishment has to be stomped on. For all are guily of sin, all fall short of the glory of God; the accomplishments of men are nothing when compared to His works. Man is a lover of sin, as are especially children. This love has to be surgically REMOVED if the chid is to reach salvation. He was not able to be "man of God" (priestiminister), our "hero, and move in an all-male world. So he reluctantly obeyed the commandment "be fruitful and multiply.” and took wife. He does his husbandry duties, but suspects her in his heart, as he knows that all sin entered into the world through woman when Eve ate of the apple, unable to resist temptation. Women are weak, he "knows, and occasionally have to be ~ disciplined into obeying God's law. He remains distant from her emotionally because once Satan entered her, and he felt his love of God's law evaporating... he felt he wanted to be oneleteral with her, join with HER, not God. He tottered on the brink and was filed with sinful feelings such as that all he wanted was her, being with her, possessing her, conquering her, and yielding to her... it was as if she were everything to him in this moment of weakness. He fought this temptation with all his might, and God's law, God's love and the sacrifice of the Savior pulled him through, Since then, however, he has considered women as the eminent temptation, "the most evil thing,” that which is most likely to lead men astray from the straight and narrow path to Heaven. He knows he lives in the "end of times," when people are all falling away from God. If only we could go back to the "good old days" when Faith was the law and to doubt was to burn, he thinks. “But he who remains faithful to the end will be saved." He does what he can to stem the tide of Satan; he is active in the Church, participates in al their letter writing campaigns against sinful movies, sinful books, pomography, abortion, Satanic music, etc. Too much tolerance of things these days. If the means of sin is provided, people, being weak, will fall astray. He knows that the only thing man is truly permitted to enjoy are God's works and God's words or, of course, “things of the mind, the pure mind, the “tyranny of reason” to the neglect of joy or fun. All else is sin. If he had his way all the avenues of sin would be removed so that men, having no alternate path from which to choose, would hopefully tend to their spiritual duty and attempt to save their souls rather than wallow in a steambath of sin and sensuality. No doubt about it; he would drag them unwillingly to salvation, ifhe had to: “For the wages of sin is death " And the Savior ordered his disciples to go ‘ut in to the world and save sinners ‘Men without the Anima become just this type of man; the ones glorified in Hollywood and as Saints: self deniers, brutish, pig-headed, unjustifiably selfish, self-destructive. They use women as masturbation receptacles. They are self-righteous bastards, with no respect for anything, least of all for women. Someone who is dead enough, in terms of feeling/responding, can stomp his own child into the street. This is of course anti-genetic, anti-Anima, ant-natural, but eminently Christian and today, "worthy; deserving imitation” - even. by those who claim to be not Christian, or even anti-Christian. But more on that in abit. ‘What exactly, then, is done to these people that they become man against himself, man the eminently “rational” man, the "watcher" of himself, his own circus tamer, his own worst enemy? In terms of psychological abuse, it should be a crime for parents to poison their children in a manner such as that practiced by the Christians. Ultimately, the poison itself, Christianity, should be BANNED. All of the children of Christians grow up to be neurotic in one sense or another ~ and suffer from neurasthenic disorders, which are incurable. Simply put, they endure a sort of lfelong battle fatigue. As the book “Toxic Parents” by Dr. Susan Forward points out, ‘unrecognized (but defacto) child abuse is common. It is even more common, in fact an article of faith and a prerequisite to religious communion, for the Christians. Al told, Christianity is a toxic religion. To have the Christian mindset at work in shaping the spirit and character of children Is to guarantee the polsoning of the children. If a child in a "poisoned household” run by "Toxic Parents’ does something unacceptable to his parents, such as spiling milk on a newly cleaned carpet, he will be told, "You're no good; you're worthless.” ‘One can only imagine the loathsome self-image a child would have who is constantly told such things, Imagine how much worse, then, would be the self-image of a child raised in the toxic wasteland of Christianity, when he is told, upon doing something totally spontaneous, innocent, and NORMAL: "You were born filthy! You were born a sinner. You will burn in Hell forever!" Yes; among the Christians, one only has to be bom, to he ‘condemned. This hyper-condemnation the Christians inflict upon their children resuits in the systematic CCONVALESCENCE FROM CHRISTIANITY - HILL AND JANTSANG -@ P. Marsh, 1990 - PAGE 4 OF 20,brainwashing of the child against any and all natural instincts the child possesses. It also represents the destruction (or attempted destruction) of all of his own natural, personal inclinations and instincts. The Absolutism of itis incredible: "God said it; its God's Law" In this manner the child is tured against his own genes and innate, physiologically fundamental- mental tendencies. He is utterly broken: an animal turned against itself, Imagine that a dog had been taken from birth, and told this: "Your dog-body is a body of sin; your soul-body, which dwells within you, is @ soul-body likened unto God, who walks on two legs. If you do not want to eternally suffer, you must develop the soul-body, and war against the dog-body, which is fith and wil lead you to ruin.” The dog is not just told this, the dog is daily subjected to conditioning and indoctrination, This would Cf course amount to the dog being raised, conditioned, programmed to be, or try to be, a "not-dog.” Our poor canine friend would thus be constantly at war with himself. The stress, the agony, the fear he would endure, as he constantly strove to remain walking on two legs (rather than on four, which his nature, his instincts, his body, his genes, would predispose him to do...) lest he “fall into sin and walk on four legs,” thus burning in Hell forever ~ can only be imagined. It's a pathetic, heart-breaking picture. And it is exactly what Christianity attempts to do to man. Recently, a child loaded his father's gun and shot his mother, killing her; she refused to let him have a soft-drink. Obviously, the real reason for a child being that agonized, that desperate, that bottled-up, will NOT be found in the refrigerator, but elsewhere. A better-known example of the same type of "Christian conditioning temporary breakdown" is the case of Sean Sellers. He was a victim of the type of conditioning mentioned previously, with conditions in his case being better known due to his fame. He was the typical repressed, bottled-up, animal-in-a-gilded-cage, but trying to be a "good," Christian adolescent He never developed any friendships of duration due to the fact that his parents were constantly roaming from place to place, In his heart he blamed them for this; and it seems certain that he had the typical Christian familial relationship; that is, parent is master, child is slave. He loved a girl (having been biologically aided in this by puberty...). His parents did not approve, and attempted to sever the relationship. After this, he had reached “saturation point,” and wanted to kill them. His state of Christian conditioning being largely complete however, hhe would not have been able to live with himself had he openly faced his feelings against his family (feelings which were justified by the facts of his life; it was, as are all typically Christian family lives, full of pretense, but devoid of vaiue or warmth or meaning). To provide a (temporary) outlet for feelings, animal feelings, real feelings, which had grown to the point that they could no longer be suppressed by the conscious mind, he created a sort of alter-ego, a litle rebellion so to speak. He (as do all rebellious Christians) called it "Satanism." ‘One may only examine the conditions of his life to see that there could not he any genuine "Satanic" influence. ‘The Christians neatly sidestep this problem however, by stating that "Satan’ lead him, talked to him, got him to do this, Notice: If it is not possible to present evidence, cold hard facts, then invent them. As here: "Oh; well "Satan’ isn't physical... He can reachtempl/ mislead all via 'magic’.” Moral: When physical evidence is lacking, retreat into the "metaphysical" Synthesis: Poor, weak-fleshed man is not responsible for his actions. "The evil made me do it” His whole life, all the bashed friendships and painful uprootings, all the self-destructive conditioning lead up to the one moment in his life when the "do-gooder" veneer cracked, and the animal (wounded, tortured, craving vengeance), came roaring out. He killed his parents. But he didnt do it; oh, no. “Satan” possessed him and made him do it. So he says. Now he is a "good litle Christian” again. He can be seen in many Christian television broadcasts, flagellating himself verbally for his "sin." Utimately, he was not able to utterly throw out the thought-conditioning. So he "put his morality to sleep” long enough for the animal to seek and destroy its prey. ‘Then he reverted to the veneer; thus is he able to "feel good about himself.” Typical. (Either that or he is only somy that he got CAUGHT!) ‘There is a movie currently available entitled "Mazes and Monsters.” It is about a “fantasy role-playing game” resembling "Dungeons and Dragons." In this movie one can observe the typical, tyrannical, Christianized family. In this movie, however, the "kids" are really grown men. But there's plenty of fare typical of suffocating parents: "Do this! Do that! You can have fun, BUT..... BUT! .... BUT," filin-the-BUT). | know you liked your room the way you arranged it, BUT... BUTI... BUTI...” (she rearranges her litle Son's room anyway -- except that her litle son is a grown man!) is it any wonder that these young adults and defacto (18 years of age and older) adults want to escape into a fantasy world? That adults, or even teenagers, play these types of games, which normally are the fare of children averaging four to eight years of age, is a testament to the fact that these People have been utterly denied a childhood. So they try to get it back when they are much older or are even grown adults. They learned early the "deny! deny! deny!” of their Christian parent gulag keepers. From co- author: In case the reader thinks this is an exaggeration to say that four to eight year old kids used to play games on their own JUST LIKE D&D, | will give examples. Kid's games | personally remember will be explained. The cellar is always the haunted place wherein all sorts of awful things live. Back when education was excellent, kids this age, 4-9, leamed the classics in school. Greek mythology was not obscure then. Also ‘CONVALESCENCE FROM CHRISTIANITY - HILL AND JANTSANG © P. Marsh, 1990 - PAGE 5 OF 20there were books. Every kid knew, for instance, that the RULE is, you cannot killa vampire wit silver bullets; they were used to kil werewolves. If attacked by Invaders from Mars you have to use a ray gun or a spray with {germs in it. There are rules for each type of monster. If a park was nearby in a city, the area of the park with heavily wooded shadows was always THE scary place, of course with one magic tree that Kept you safe. ‘There were all sorts of monsters available to children, and stories that were ancient! The Cyciops, the Gorgon Medusa, the Minotaur, etc. Plus the more modern themes such as Frankenstein, Dracula, Werewolf. Add to that the Crawiing Eye, Caltki, the Blob, Space men of all varieties. Children would get bored if they had to keep imagining the monsters, so other kids were designated to play the part of the monster. This also happened with “Cowboys and Indians.” The games were as complex as ANY D&D scenario, Usually by the time one grew to the age of 9, these games became BORING. Boys normally became more interested in "the real stuf" and girls started to think about boys. A boy might prefer to help dad build something rather than play with "those litle kids." 1 speak of a fime prior to the Judeo-Christian lowering of educational standards, Fourteen year old boys were sea-captains. Not in a fantasy, but for real. They sailed real ships and went on real adventures, Many boys 16 were not only married, but had their own business and could run it sufficiently to make this country great. Such was life before Judeo-Christianity tumed people into cripples and morons, These child's games were nat just played sitting on your butt and using only your mind to imagine things. Water guns with wide sprayers were bought to shoot the “spray of poison germs" at the aliens. In other words. the kid playing the alien got WET unless he tackled you and knocked the water-gun out of your hand. The games were played with the BODY, not just with the mind. Physical activity, running, hiding, searching out real ‘2bandoned buildings to be designated "dragon's nest," "vampires castle, ‘lar of the aliens,” etc. was involved Grappling with the monster was not just a roll of the dice. A kid physically tried to knock your weapon out of your hand. Kids have an abundance of energy and vivid imaginations. These child's games were a wonderful Outlet for this inexhaustible energy. These days, with suffocating parents sting every urge the child has, is it a wonder that so many children are diagnosed as “hyperactive?” Who among the readers can remember water- balloon fights? These usually evolved out of water-gun fights when one kid decided to “cheat” and throw an entire bucket of water on another kid. And what about snowball fights? Who remembers the huge mountains of snow after the plows cleared the streets, and games of “abominable snowman’ (and variations; "Abominable ‘snowman from Mars’, then “from Jupiter’, etc.). These complex scenes are nothing but variations on “hide an object, try to find it, you are either hot or cold” plus hide and seek, plus tag, plus war. Medusa turning you to stone with a glance is a variation on "freeze tag" wherein the kid who is “i’tags you and then you must freeze (unless another player touches you and unfreezes you depending on if this rule applied). Kids, like all predatory mammals, LOVE to play. They love to tackle each other, jump on each other, run, jump, shout. Human children are predator children by species. They are not fragie litte wall flowers, or a prey species Imagine forcing 2 puppy NOT to play. Imagine trying to brainwash the puppyness out of a playful puppy that's brimming with life. You would probably wind up with a wild dog, @ dog so viscous that he'd have to be shot before he killed someone. Children learn HOW to interact on interpersonal levels by playing with other children. They NEVER learn a thing about human interaction by parents lecturing to them and suffocating them or moralizing to them which teaches them only how to retreat from realty, and/or rebel. What children used to lear from adults is reading, wing, mending, cooking, math, building, etc. — practical things of the Real World; necessary things. tis a wonder that there are not one million more cases like Sean Sellers. There, is however, a large run-away Population of kids. Apparent they find the physical hardships and dangers of fe on the streets preferable to the mental torture they are put through in their homes. Co-author will never forget the lite Christian gir sh beftiended, and the two birthdays, Circa 1959. In the first case, co-author was invited to the Christian girs birthday. Everyone except co-author was dressed up in fancy clothes and uncomfortable-looking shoes. Everyone sat around the table where the cake was. No shouting, no noise to mention. Co-author was bored to death and wanted to play. So, co-author decided to grab every chair in sight and line them up, back-to- back 0 that there was one less chair than the number of kids present. The Christian kids had no idee what co ‘author was up to, but then co-author yelled: MUSICAL CHAIRS. Co-author had to teach these kids how to play the game, but soon everyone was into i, screaming, yelling, laughing, and getting abit rowdy but, having FUN. Soon, dour-faced, concemed parents ran in, "Be careful, youll tear your new dress,” “not so rough,” “don't push,” "stop making so much noise.” Co-author also remembers the litle “picture-perfect” but sneering, very ‘snobby Christian boys at the Christian gis party. They were punks, twisted litle monsters. One of them fed silly-putty to the pet dog, which co-author found awful. ‘They were viscous, cruel and unbalanced kids. Even when they played Musical Chairs they overdid i, they punched and kicked the litle girs. That is what pent-up Christian kids 0 with the litle freedom they get: they OVER-do it, they get viscous, hurtful. They treat anything weaker and smaller than themselves just as their parents treat them. The litle girls were snobby, and they were ready to snitch on their BEST FRIENDS in a minute. Co-author never hadiknew friends like that (CONVALESCENCE FROM CHRISTIANITY -HILLAND JANTSANG - © P, Marsh, 1990- PAGE 6 OF 20before, and usually people like that got their lle snooty butts kicked to hell in the neighborhood co-author grew up in. ‘The second birthday party was the co-author’, stil 1959. The Christian girl came with her Mother who just had to SUPERVISE her child. In this case, the Christian was the only one dressed up fancy. Co-author's parents had a huge bucket of water-balloons ready for later. AAs the party got more and more rowdy, and the levels of fun increased, the Christian girl started to mope. No one left her out, her own inhibitions left her out, ‘And her Mother gulag-keeper was standing Watch. She wanted to PLAY, her HEART longed to play. Finally ‘co-author's mother gave the child a pair of pants and a T-shirt and told the kid to "GO PLAY.” The look of sheer JOY on that child's face was worth a million dollars, her EYES lit up. She played, and of course, got ‘soaking wet and filthy from the dirt in the yard. This was normal. Co-author never played with that child again, ever even saw her again. The children present were ages 6-8, no one had parental supervision except the Christian gir. I wonder what SHE wound up doing when she became of legal age, old enough to tell her parents to "go fuck yourself” One must wonder how she handled her new-found freedom, without ANY past EXPERIENCE in personal freedom. Even MORE damning is the fact that after, maybe years later, when their distorted, tortured, abused, mentally blackmailed children become utterly self-destructive, or even commit suicide, they have the gall to blame “Satan,” when itis they themselves that ripped, stabbed, shredded, and cauterized any love of life, any joy or happiness, any interests or hobbies that their children did want. There are no words to do these vile, black-hearted, soul-murderers justice! if mankind as a species were to be judged by the Christian elements ~ ie., the worst elements of it, then any objective judge could only order instant execution, To be Christianized is to have every moment robbed of its innocence, every desire saddled with a reason, every happiness or pleasure soiled as suspect. No wonder they babble about paradise ~ and other-worldly mumbo jumbo. They have made human life and human living hell on Earth. Even the primary reason for human existence (from the point of view of Nature), reproduction and family lf, is utterly corrupted and worm eaten with their vile “otherworldly” (Le. Thanatos) fith. The very force that draws men and women together, the welispring ofall human joy and fulfilment, is depreciated as “forgivable, acceptable, BUT fith all the same!" There are many ways children (and adults) deal with the conflict that Christian conditioning causes. Some, having had their hearts wounded, tor, ripped to shreds at the hands of those from whom they expected to receive love, retreat into a cold, hard, defensive shell. They are inclined to fantasy and decadence. They are 0 afraid of being hurt again that they deny themselves any sensation that they fear could cause pain like that which their parents caused them, They emotionally hide from the world to prevent being hurt again. They become like the dead, so they cantt be "murdered" again. (Akathartic). Still others, utterly empty and out of touch with their real selves, revert to chemical stimulants in order to "feel good.” There are many ways people attempt to cope with the hellish desert created by the binding and wounding (and death) of their real, animal, fleshly selves; a casual observation of life in general in late 20th Century America should suggest: the most common ones. For all true living is in the now, in the flesh. How could one not know, or feel, or do, or think, oF dance, or sing, of eat, or do any of the other million things that make life precious, without our bodies, our flesh? The flesh, living, life, is so immediate, and is its own causeleffecvexplanation. HOW did the Christians manage to utterly, totally, completely stand all logic and common sense and experience -- and genes and heredity and... fe itself! ~ on its head? The answer is this: They (with their conditioning) kill a fundamental processing order dealing with the sensual (| do NOT mean sexual...) faculties. Or rather, their training’ brings itto disorder, dysfunction. There are three primary sections of the human mind, They are instinct, will-sensation, and reason. They may be defined as follows: 4. instinct. The primal nature of the human species. The net coagulation of the genome of man. All of the physical drives of the man animal. One does not will to eat, or to sleep, or to urinate, or defecate, or reproduce. All of these are programmed into the very matter that makes up the human species (as every other, with variations). They are. They are done. Resistance to Nature on this level (if even possible) would lead to death. One walks; one does not think’ to walk. One breathes; even if all the will is directed against breathing, land consciousness is lost due to lack of oxygen, once unconscious, the animal will breathe. Being primal, this is the most powerful portion of the human mind. It is an inescapable part of all fe and living, human and animal. It can not be resisted, nor subjugated. This portion of the human animal wants to (Wills to, desires to) touch-feel, taste hear, see, smell, And that is "experience." (Somatic markers). All creatures share in having this portion of the mind: wolves always make dens; wasps always make wasp nests. Fish and sea mammals know how to swim, from time of birth (and probably in some form, even fram conception). Humans will, having CONVALESCENCE FROM CHRISTIANITY - HILL AND JANTSANG - © P. Marsh, 1990-PAGE 7 OF 20human instincts, always create human archetypes and ideas, will instinctively do human behavior, will walk upright. A human will drink through his mouth, smell through his nose, find food when he is hungry. No one has to tell him to do this. It is innate, This includes not only the limbic brain, but the genetic imprint or ‘signature of the human species. 2. Will, This may be called the self. Itis that which Wills. Its that which does. Itis motion, action, sensation The instinct desires to smell; the Will draws the item to the nose. It spontaneously obeys/seeks/finds /utfils the desires of the instincts. It is the DO-er. It could be called "the principle of action/attainment or method by which the instincts reach fulfillment." It also includes the five senses, They lie dormant (mostly) until being jatted into action at the moment of birth. A human with a normal Will, will (unconsciously) drink through the ‘mouth, breathe through the nose, etc. The five senses are the gateways through which the instinct sees, so to speak: They also “sort” the desirable from the undesirable. If a human is hungry (instinct) and tries to eat a piece of wood (Will), then the senses will inform the instincts that wood is not chewable and does not taste 900d. The human will then store in the reasoning faculty (memory! association), that "wood is not good to eat.” 3. Reason. Much has been made of reason, and man has even been proclaimed "alvine” for possessing it. It evelops gradually, as a pyramid is built from the ground up, one block at a time, firmly placed upon the “foundation” of the instinct, and erected by the action of the Willsenses (somatic markers). Itis the principle of evaluation of methods. It surveys the possiblities and obstacles to be encountered in the fulfilment of the instincts, as directed by the Will, and decides, based on previous, collected experience, what is the most Practical means of obtaining the goal ofthe instincts. It is also the portion of the brain which appreciates all things separately, as entities or objects unto or as themselves. It ikes order and precision; btit can anticipate the desires of the instincts, and fire the Will o obtain or seek. An example of his would be the storing of food. The reason knows, based on previous experience, after a humen animal has been hungry for a number of times, that this hunger (instinct is likely, based on probebilty, to recur. So it will whisper to the Will “store food for when itis hard to find” The Will agrees, and thus ~ reasoning. Please note that reason is not possessed by man alone in the opinion of the author and based on hard neurological studies. Bees store honey; the only ‘explanation for this is that somehow they reason that they may not be able to collect pollen all year. Cals, raised in a house, and learning that whenever "magic buzzing box" sounds, food is suddeniy available wil rush into the kitchen when you use the electric can opener, and give you that knowing ook. Any human having ‘contact with animals would have to be a... Christian (!) to think that animals do not, in common with man, possess reason. Modern neurological studies of all mammals utterly refutes this Christian (and “cult of Reason’) rubbish! If anything, normal humans are like animals neurologically (non-soner mammals). Kiippoths are the exception! They are spl, schizoid, alexihymic - and this can be EMPIRICALLY tested now. Thus, teason could be said to be associative as well. That s, a child will learn that if he puts hand in pretty moving red warm thing (fire), he gets burned. It should be noted that these three components of the human mind can ‘not readily be divided up for easy explanation, so inter-related are their functions and operation The three faculties of the mind work in a particular order, as should be obvious by the nature of the faculties themselves. The instinct desires to experience, the reason determines the methodology of attainment, and the Wil gets or does it. In @ healthy animal or human these faculties ofthe rind workin unison, in harmony, and are complementary. As spark plugs in a car engine, they fire in the proper order to attain movement and attainment. The Christians wage war against the Will, tne DO-er. They subvert the causes for the action of the Will, placing in their stead “desires” which have no foundation in the senses or the instincts. It could be said that they rewire the engine so that the ordering of the fring ofthe spark plugs (the Willis backwards. They replace the natural “civilization” of man, based on fufling the instincts, with an unnatural, phantasmagoric, Conditioned, created “desire” for “spintual attainment." Another way to say this is that they focus on the logical mind, the reason, and posit it as the primary motivator of human needs, rather than the instincts. Thus, the ‘natural interplay of instinct-senses-reason is replaced by REASON to STIFLE the senses; the instincts, being Considered evil, are buried and, where possible, destroyed: they show up as twisted desires! This creates a slate of being whereby the reason, created or rebuilt by Christianity into the "causa sui" (the cause of itself) is ‘made into the PRIMARY motivation for human behavior and Wil, rather than the instincts. The real-Wil, then, becomes the servant of the reasoning faculty rather than the servant of the instincts. Ergo, the engine fires backwards. The instincts, thus denied any expression inthis “engine.” are capped over and allowed to fester and (hopefully, in Christian philosophy) ~ atrophy. Once the perfect (observe a newborn child) harmony and interplay ofthese "