English III

Facilitator:
Faiza Khadim Arain
Lecturer (English)
D.I.H.P.E – General Education
 Using Variety in Your
Sentences
O A common complaint about scientific
documents is that they are difficult to read
because of the complexity and length of their
words, sentences, and paragraphs. To present
ideas effectively, minimize the combined
weight of these factors.
O As the complexity and length of words
increase, reduce the complexity and
length of sentences and paragraphs to
compensate.
O For maximal readability, most sentences should be
between 15 and 20 words. More than 40 words
generally are too many. If your sentences
consistently include fewer than 12 consider linking
and expanding some.
O A set of sentences 15–20 words long often will
express an idea in somewhat fewer words overall
than a set of overly long or short sentences does.
O To make your writing vibrant, be sure to vary your
sentence beginnings, type, and length.
O Try to avoid using the same word repeatedly,
especially at the beginning of the sentence. Also, try
to have some simple sentences, some a little
complex.
Sentence Length…
O Too long: Two canine cadavers with orthopaedic abnormalities were
identified which included a first dog that had an unusual deformity
secondary to premature closure of the distal ulnar physis and a second
dog that had a hypertrophic non-union of the femur, and the radius
and femur of both dogs were harvested and cleaned of soft tissues.
O Too short: Two canine cadavers with orthopaedic abnormalities were
identified. The first dog had an unusual deformity. It was secondary
to premature closure of the distal ulnar physis. The second dog had a
hypertrophic non-union of the femur. The radius and femur of both
dogs were harvested. They were cleaned of soft tissues.
O A readable balance: Two canine cadavers with orthopaedic
abnormalities were identified. The first dog had an unusual deformity
secondary to premature closure of the distal ulnar physis; the second,
a hyper- trophic non-union of the femur. The radius and femur of
both dogs were harvested and cleaned of soft tissues.
[54 words in 1 sentence]
[51 words in 6 sentences; average, 8.5 words per sentence]
[46 words in 3 sentences; average, 15.3 words per sentence]
 Do Not String Ideas Together
O Example: In one patient who had numerous
lesions, the echocardiogram correctly detected a
large lesion (15 mm) attached to the right coronary
cusp but failed to detect the 4- to 5-mm lesions
found at surgery on the remaining two cusps,
whereas in another patient, the echocardiogram
correctly detected lesions on all three cusps. (53
words)

O In this example, the first idea ends before

"whereas." The second idea belongs in a separate
sentence.
Revision A
In one patient who had numerous lesions, the echocardiogram
correctly detected a large lesion (15 mm) attached to the right
coronary cusp but failed to detect the 4- to 5-mm lesions found at
surgery on the remaining two cusps. However, in another patient,
the echocardiogram correctly detected lesions on all three cusps.
The first sentence can also be broken in two, before "but."

Revision B
In one patient who had numerous lesions, the echocardiogram
correctly detected a large lesion (15 mm) attached to the right
coronary cusp. It failed to detect the 4- to 5-mm lesions found at
surgery on the remaining two cusps. However, in another patient,
the echocardiogram correctly detected lesions on all three cusps.
 Talk About One Thing at a Time
O A long sentence that strings ideas together is
difficult to read. Even more difficult is a
sentence that talks about two ideas at once or a
sentence in which one idea is nested inside
another.
O In the next example, three ideas are presented
in one sentence: the purpose of the
experiment, how the experiment was done,
and a description of the patients.
Example:
O To study the mechanisms involved in the
beneficial effects of hydralazine on ventricular
function in patients who have chronic aortic
insufficiency, a radio nuclide assessment of
ventricular function was performed in 15
patients with pure aortic insufficiency,
functional capacity I or II, at rest and during
supine exercise. (47 words)
Revision
Our aim was to assess the mechanisms involved in the
beneficial effects of hydralazine on ventricular
function in patients who have chronic aortic insuf
ficiency. For this assessment, we did a radionuclide
study of ventricular function in 15 patients at rest and
during supine exercise. All patients had pure aortic
insufficiency and were in functional capacity I or II.

The purpose is separated from the statement of what was

done. In addition, the description of the patients is put in a
separate sentence. Thus, each sentence talks about one idea,
so the ideas are easier to understand.
 Practice…
How could you rewrite the following to make
it easier to understand?
“Respiratory specimens were transported to the
National Institute for Communicable Diseases
within 72 hours of collection and tested for 10
respiratory viruses and included influenza A and
B viruses”
 Possible revision…
O Respiratory specimens were transported to the
National Institute for Communicable Diseases
within 72 hours of collection. Specimens were
tested for 10 respiratory viruses, including
influenza A and B viruses.
 Short sentences are easier to understand than long
sentences. Therefore do not pack too many ideas into one
sentence either by stringing ideas together or by talking
about more than one thing at a time.
 Sentence Type...
1. Simple sentences
O A simple declarative sentence consists of
one independent clause.
Examples:
The nurse assesses the circulation of the child
by examining cardiovascular status.
Independent
 Sentence Type...
2. Compound sentences
Compound sentences contain two (or more)
independent clauses.
Examples: Independent
The nurse assesses the circulation of the
child by examining cardiovascular status,
and the nurse also looks for effects of
insufficient circulation on other organs.
Independent
 Sentence Type...
3. Complex sentences
O A complex sentence has one independent
clause and one or more dependent clauses.
Examples: Dependent
Although a child’s heart rate can be obtained by
a probe, this does not tell the nurse if the pulse is
thready, bounding, regular or irregular.
Independent
 Sentence Type...
4. Compound Complex sentences
O A compound-complex sentence has at least two
independent clauses and at least one dependent
clause.
Example: Dependent
Although a child’s heart rate can be obtained by a
probe, this does not tell the nurse if the pulse is Independent
thready, bounding, regular or irregular, and thus
she or he needs to take a manual pulse rate.

Independent
 Practice…
O Write moderately short sentences (12–24
words).
The registration procedure begins with the
student making an appointment with his or her
adviser, at which time the adviser and student
will discuss the student’s career goals,
placement test scores, and transcripts to
determine a schedule of classes that the
adviser will enter into the computer and that the
student will pay for before the registration
period ends—that is, unless the computers are
down, in which case the student must come
back another time.
The registration procedure begins with the
student making an appointment with his or
her adviser. At this time, the adviser and
student will discuss career goals, placement
test scores, and transcripts to determine a
schedule of classes. Next, the adviser will
enter the schedule into the computer. The
student will pay for the classes by the end of
the registration period. If the computers are
down, the student must come back.
 Limit average paragraph
length
O Paragraph length and complexity also influence readability. A
paragraph length of about 150 words has been judged to be
optimal for a scientific article. A paragraph that covers more
than two-thirds of a page when typed double-spaced usually
should be shortened.
O A paragraph that is too long and complicated is tedious to
read. Re-examine the paragraph to see whether it includes
more than one idea; often it will. Divide the paragraph
between ideas.
O If paragraphs in a scientific publication consistently include
fewer than 50 words (five average typewritten lines), they
may seem scrappy and annoying to readers. Reexamine the
text to see which paragraphs could be combined.
 Home Task
O Improve the readability of these sample paragraphs
by changing the sentence lengths and word order as
needed.
1. The Haversian system consists of a canal in the center
containing blood vessels and a nerve surrounded by
concentric rings of bony matrix and between them
scattered tiny spaces called lacunae filled with bone
cells connected by canaliculi to one another and the
central canal. Through this canal the cells are nourished
and kept alive.
2. The kidney is a very important organ. It has the ability to
secrete substances selectively. This makes it able to
maintain proper composition of the blood and other body
fluids. The various end products of metabolism are
injurious if allowed to accumulate.