In These Words

Chapter One

by

Guilt | Pleasure
Novel: Kichiku Neko

Art: Toga Q
© Guilt|Pleasure 2010, 2013
www.guiltpleasure.com
 Prologue

Although it was November, Katsuya

chose to be alone out in the cold rather
than in the heated indoors of the
crowded café. He sat at the only table
with its chairs turned down on the
veranda. His coffee, only half drunk, had
long gone cold. His attention was
focused on the stack of papers that had
been gathered in a binder.

A shadow eclipsed his reading,

interrupting him. He didn’t look up, but
he became progressively annoyed. He
finally glanced up when the dimmed
outline didn’t move. A handsome man in
a black cashmere coat smiled brilliantly
as soon as their eyes met. A pronounced
frown deepened on Katsuya’s face.

“Do you mind?” The stranger asked,

dismissing the displeased look. His
gloved hands tapped the empty chair at
Katsuya’s table. His voice was deep,
almost sweet and affectionate as he
spoke.

A cursory look at the stranger told

Katsuya the man was an elite. He wore a
brand-name coat and the silver and red
watch that peeked out from his left
sleeve was a Parmigiani Fleurier. He
smelled of exotic cologne. Everything
about the man spoke of high breeding
and money. Katsuya’s irritation only
grew.

“There are plenty of empty seats you

could have,” Katsuya said and gestured
around the empty patio.

The man laughed. “I suppose someone

as attractive as you would be used to
hearing tired pick-up lines.”

Katsuya took off his glasses and

carefully stowed them back in their hard
black case. He stood, slipping it into his
pocket. “You can have the seat,” he said,
gathering his papers.

“It’s hardly the same without your

company.”
 Katsuya turned his head to the side,
trying to figure the stranger out. “Have a
nice day,” he concluded, tucking his
chair into the table and walking away.

Although he didn’t look back, he felt

watched. He still felt anxious and
annoyed, even long after he had turned
the corner and taken a different route
back to his work at the hospital.

♠♠♠

Since he had awakened, he’d been

confused. He didn’t know why he was
lying on a bare, filthy mattress, nor did
he know where he was. The only
insistent thought on his mind was to get
out. He had to find his way out.
 The only light in the room came from a
small window at the top of the room. A
street lamp spilled a yellow-orange hue
through the dirty panes. It was night and
it was raining, that was all he could
gather. He could hear the gentle tapping
against the glass.

He crawled forward until his hands

found the door and pulled himself up by
the handle. A press of the lever opened
the door. It was unlocked. In that instant,
the damp scent of mildew and dust
saturated his senses. He coughed, but
then quickly pressed a hand over his
mouth to quiet the sound.

He walked hurriedly, although his

steps were uneven and uncertain. His
head still hurt, his mind was muddled. It
was hard to form a lucid stream of
thought. The sound of the rain was
louder now, almost thunderous, as it
struck the windows of an unbroken
skylight. Katsuya’s lack of
comprehension only grew as he stepped
or tumbled over broken furniture,
mildewed books and scattered trash.

Katsuya kicked a broken chair that

nearly sent him reeling. He caught
himself against the wall. There was a
searing pain in his right shin where it
had hit the chair hard. He stood, waiting
for the pain to recede.

The memory came to him suddenly, a

piece of recollection from hours earlier.

The bastard drugged me....

♠♠♠

It had been only days after their first

meeting at the café when they met again.
The stranger found him at a different
coffee house and insinuated himself
before Katsuya had a chance to leave.

“I would almost say that you are trying

to avoid me,” the man said as he seated
himself at Katsuya’s table.

“If this is your idea of a romantic

pursuit, it’s pretty pathetic.”

“Don’t be so cold,” the man said,

laughing. It was loud enough to draw the
attention of passersby. “All I ask is for
your company for the span of the time
it’ll take for you to drink a cup of coffee
with me.”

“I am not interested in you,” Katsuya

said, closing the binder of papers he had
been reading. He scooted his seat back,
but before he could stand up, the man
had seized him by the wrist. Katsuya
froze.

“I know you’re not,” the man said. His

grip around Katsuya’s wrist was firm;
its meaning obvious. “But if you indulge
me for just a bit, I promise I’ll get out of
your life.”

“Are you insane?”

“I am persistent. I am sure you can

imagine how much I can annoy you day
after day if I don’t get my way.”

“Let go of me,” Katsuya said,

attempting to pull his wrist back from the
man’s grasp. There wasn’t any give in
the iron-like grip. “You wouldn’t want
me to make a scene.”

The man’s smile didn’t falter. Instead,

his grip around Katsuya’s wrist
tightened.
 “I'm not afraid of any kind of scene
you might want to make. I wouldn’t be
who I am if I were subtle,” the man said.
“Sit down. I really promise to leave you
alone after we have a cup of coffee
together.”

The hold on his wrist loosened but

didn’t let go. “Why don’t you like me?”
The man asked, unflinchingly.

Katsuya was taken aback by the

stranger’s child-like expression – a
mismatch to his apparent wealth and
status.

“I hate people like you,” Katsuya said.

He hadn’t meant to say it, but the words
slipped out as soon as he thought them.
 For a moment the man looked
genuinely hurt, although the smile he was
wearing remained. “Then what do I have
to do make you love me?”

♠♠♠

Katsuya curled his hands into fists so

tight that the nails bit into his palms. His
head was still reeling. The vivid
recollection only made it worse.

How could I be so stupid...

He took a deep breath and let it out

slowly. He started to walk again, this
time slower and more carefully. His
vision started to blur in and out.
Whatever drug he'd been fed was still
coursing through him.

In the distance, he heard echoes of

crows that seemed to have taken refuge
inside. Although Katsuya knew the birds
must have come in through broken
windows, he started to stumble toward
their sound, hoping they would lead him
to the main doorway, or, at least, a
window from which he could make his
escape.

It wasn’t long until he heard the tip-tap

of footsteps that made him stop in his
tracks. Katsuya told himself to calm
down, although panic was rising steadily
in him. The echoes of different sounds in
different patterns – the birds and the
footsteps, confused him. He couldn’t tell
where they were coming from. He stayed
close to the wall, keeping his back
against it as he walked, making as little
sound as possible. He cringed at the
slightest creak or snap his foot made.

His heart nearly jumped out of his

throat when he caught sight of the front
door not too far from him. He crouched
down, contemplating his choice to wait
until his nausea passed and then make a
run for the door, or seizing his chance
now and getting out before he was found.
Echoing footsteps – coming seemingly
closer and closer – made Katsuya favor
the latter.
 When the footsteps stopped and he
could hear the gentle sounds of
breathing, Katsuya dashed toward the
double doors, his arms reaching out for
the handles. He had just touched them
when his run was cut short. He was
seized by his coat collar and pulled
backwards, tumbling into the arms of
someone behind him, pulling him away
from escape.

“Stop!” someone said in his ear. “If

you open the door, I'll punish you
severely.”

“Let go!”

Katsuya twisted harder, trying to buck

the grip of the person holding him.
Instead, the arms only tightened around
him, crushing his arms against his sides
to the point of pain.

“I knew there was something special

about you. The way you looked at me –
you were challenging me, as if you had
always known from the moment we met
that this was meant to be.”

“What the hell are you talking about?! I

said, let go!”

Katsuya was dragged backwards

through the area he had struggled to walk
through. They reached a room with its
door ajar. A metal plate affixed to it
read “Resource Center.” After he was
pulled inside and flung onto the mattress
on the floor, he realized it was the room
he had woken up in. He noticed more
details in the room now – among the
plastic bags and trash strewn about were
spent condoms, tied at the ends.

If this place’s been used by prostitutes,

then maybe someone will come along
soon.

The man laughed as if he had read his

thoughts. He took off his coat, folded it
in half and tossed it on the corner of the
mattress.

“No one comes here anymore,” he

said. “Don’t worry. We won’t be
interrupted.”
 Katsuya gathered his legs beneath him
and steadily raised himself up to his feet.
The man only watched, amused.

“Would you like me to take off your

clothes, or would you like to give me a
nice show?“

Katsuya stepped off the mattress and

onto the linoleum floor. He backed up
until he was pressed against the wall.

“Just the act of removing clothes is

sensual foreplay,” the man said, closing
the gap between them in a carefree
saunter. “The way you strip away the
clothing, little by little; feeling the
warmth being taken, little by little. You
should understand the sensation of being
made vulnerable – being weak and
naked and being conquered...”

“Shut up!”

Katsuya felt his face flush with rage.

The man paused in his approach, half
shrouded in the dark.

“It’s a wonderful feeling ... very

erotic, to surrender control or to have it
taken from you.”

“With your money, you can buy your

whores.”

“What’s interesting about fucking

whores?”
 There were movements the man made
that Katsuya could sense but couldn’t
see. When the man took two steps
forward into the dim light, there was a
knife in his left hand. The blade glinted,
catching the orange light.

“You’re not going to ask, ‘why me’?”

the man asked, moving closer until he
was within arm’s reach.

“It wouldn’t change anything even if I

knew.”

“Oh? I think otherwise,” the man said.

He reached forward and rested his hands
on Katsuya’s shoulders. “I think you
would have even more regrets if you
knew.”
 His hands lifted and pushed back the
coat from Katsuya’s shoulders, pulling it
down until the coat pooled at his feet.

“Then I really don’t want to know,”

Katsuya said. His eyes were fixed on the
closed door behind the man. The door
hadn’t been locked and as he’d been
dragged back, Katsuya had made a
mental note of the path from the room to
the main door.

All I need to do is get to the main

door...

“You are quite a curious one, Asano-

sensei.”

Katsuya’s focus was broken for a

moment at the sound of his name. His
eyebrows furrowed. So, the “accidental”
meetings hadn’t been so accidental.

“Wondering how I know you?” the

man asked, hooking a finger in the knot
of Katsuya’s tie. A gentle pull loosened
it. “I’ve known who you were for a long
time.”

“I don’t know you.”

Deft fingers worked the buttons on his

shirt, pressing them through the slits. The
man was focused, almost careful in his
touch.

“You don’t,” the man said. “And even

when this ends, you still won’t.”
 The cryptic words only made Katsuya
more anxious. He was staring at the door
again, tempted by the freedom there. He
weighed his chances. The man had more
or less stated he would not come out of
this alive. The sum of his situation came
to having nothing to lose.

“A pity,” Katsuya said, raising his

knee into the man’s abdomen. There was
a satisfyingly sharp connection and the
man doubled over.

Katsuya pushed past him and bolted

toward the door, reaching it in few
steps. As he opened the door, he heard
the sound of metal hitting wood and a
sharp pain grazed his left cheek. A knife
handle vibrated close to his head,
embedded in the door frame.

“This is not good, Asano-sensei,” the

man said, slamming the door shut. He
spun Katsuya around, throwing him hard
against it.

“I was going to be nice to you.”

“I doubt that.”

Katsuya could feel the feather-like

sensation of a drop of blood rolling
down his cheek where he’d been cut.
The man stared at the bleeding wound,
seemingly fascinated by it.

“You will know the difference soon,”

the man said. His voice dropped,
deepened. His breathing became
heavier. He was becoming aroused.

“If you try to run again, I’ll cut both of

your Achilles tendons, understand?”

Katsuya didn’t answer. The man

pulled the knife from the door and
showed it to him.

“Yes,” Katsuya finally said. The knife

was returned to the scabbard that was
hooked over the man’s hip.

“Why are you doing this to me? I’ve

never wronged you.”

The smile came back to the man’s

face. A finger traced a line from
Katsuya’s throat down to his exposed
chest. It paused there for a moment
before the unbuttoning of his shirt
continued.

“I don’t need to be wronged to do

what I want.”

The shirt opened as the buttons came

undone. The man paused at the belt-line
where the tail of Katsuya’s shirt was
still tucked in.

“Don’t –” Katsuya caught the man’s

hand at his belt buckle.

“Not a good time to be modest,” the

man said, taking Katsuya’s hand in his
and pressing it up against the wall. He
leaned forward for a kiss but Katsuya
turned away.

“You don’t know my name,” the man

said, straightening. His fingers laced
through Katsuya’s, while his free hand
stroked Katsuya’s tie. “But you probably
know me better than anyone. Even
myself.”

“What?”

A bent index finger caught the knot of

the tie again. A slow pull unraveled it.

“It must be an interesting career, to

crawl into the minds of the insane.”

The man’s hand held one end of

Katsuya's tie, his thumb rubbing the silk
in a circle.

“Are you telling me you're one of my

patients?”

A steady pull and the tie slid past the

back of his neck – the gentle sensation
was disconcerting. Katsuya’s breath
caught.

“You won’t have an opportunity to

make me your patient, Sensei,” the man
said.

“Although it would have been nice. I

have a thing for doctors. Especially your
kind.”
 Katsuya came to the sudden realization
of who the man was.

“You are...”

“I am glad you remember now, Asano-

Sensei,” the man said. “It’ll make
everything that will happen in the next
few days meaningful.”

♠♠♠
 In These Words
Chapter One

Novel: Kichiku Neko

Art: TogaQ

Digital Editor: Shoganai

ISBN-13: 978-1-62548-001-9

No part of this book may be reproduced,

displayed, modified or distributed without
the express prior written permission of the
copyright holders.

© Guilt|Pleasure 2010, 2013

www.guiltpleasure.com