QUESTION 5: COMPARISON RESPONSE

Question 5: Compare how the writers present their ideas and perspectives about their experiences. Support your
answer with close reference to the passage, including brief quotations.

“ICE SWIMMING IN TROMSO”

“BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE”

TOPIC SENTENCE:

 Either choose one of the following or write your own.

 In both texts, writers describe their (painful) experiences in a dramatic but factual way.
 In both texts the writers present an element of fear, however, do so in very different ways.
 Both writers use language and structure to present a sense of danger in their writing, however,
they do this in different ways.

PARAGRAPH 1: THE LANDSCAPE

1. both texts give some description of the landscape

2. In Text 2 there is a sense of isolation whereas in Text 1 the writer is not alone; Text 1 uses first
and second person pronouns whereas Text 2 uses first person

TEXT ONE “ICE SWIMMING IN TROMSO”
Just a circle of stones on the beach with this
glorious blaze
The professional ice swimmers have all come in
their swim there under their outer clothes
Being almost naked in that temperature -4°C
already feels like a commitment to the world of
cold
Watch out for sea urchins
the gun metal grey sea stretches ahead of us
TEXT 2 “BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE”
11 or 12 feet high
of a different geometry than the overhang I
descended
refrigerator chockstone
The slot narrows to a consistent 3 feet
50 feet down the Canyon
I'll have a 9 foot height to descend
In both texts, writers describe the landscape in detail in order to set the mood and feeling of the text
implicitly. In Text one, the writer depicts a scene of a snowy beach where experienced and
unexperienced people will participate in ice swimming. Mentioning the temperature as “-4°C” and
being “almost naked,” the author makes it clear that this is an environment he is not used to. This
reinforces the fact that the author can be considered as a novice as he is also not prepared and
appropriately dressed for the situation. On the contrary, text two begins with the clear description of
the landscape like “another refrigerator chockstone is wedged between the walls” and “the slot
narrows to a consistent three feet across at the lip of the drop-off.” The expert terminology and the
exact measurements (word choice) are used to illustrate how the author is well aware of his
surroundings and has gone through a similar experience before. However, in text two there is a
sense of isolation with the use of first person. The action is experienced and retold by the author at
the same time as he says “I descended […] I can move up or down” which reinforces that he is
completely alone in the setting. On the other hand, in text one the author is surrounded with people
“to men and two men, all in late middle age” and the “professional ice swimmers.” By using second
and third person pronouns, the author presents a sense of being a company while participating in
the activity.

In text one the tone is a lot lighter, as it starts with the writer “laughing” and getting ready to swim
However, the mood changes as the writer says that the “moment is cruelly upon us.” With the word
choice “cruelly” the author both shows his fear of the activity that is about to take place, and his
inexperience in the sport. In text two the tone is relatively tense from the start. The author uses
measurements like “twelve feet high” to create a dangerous environment immediately. He creates
the setting as isolated and wild. His actions are measured, however, there is some sort of tension
when he says “the space below the drop-off the claustrophobic feel of a short tunnel.” With the
word “claustrophobic” the author creates the image of a depressing and suffocating setting.

PARAGRAPH 2: THE DANGER

1. both texts describe a dangerous experience but Text 2 describes things going wrong whereas all
goes well in Text 1.

2. both texts have some element of measurement to emphasize danger - Text 1 in the
temperature and Text 2 in the distance and expanse of space.

3. both texts are written by someone who has chosen to venture into a potentially dangerous
situation

4. in Text 1 the writer says he is not as prepared as the more experienced ice swimmers, whereas
the writer in Text 2 is more prepared: Ralston checks the route before starting down
 TEXT ONE “ICE SWIMMING IN TROMSO”
my son Rex looks before he's got an important
line in a school assembly
have all come in their swimwear under their
outer clothes
sea urchins
hyperventilation
The danger point is when the blood leaves the
extremities to concentrate on the core
TEXT 2 “BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE”
if I can step onto it, then I'll have a 9 foot height
to descend […] then take a short fall onto the
rounded rocks
tearing the skin off the lateral side of my forearm
ensnare

Both texts are written by someone who has chosen to venture into a potentially dangerous situation.
Both writers show the dangers of their activity and both of them do it regardless. Unfortunately, in
text 2 the writer actually gets hurt. Although text one is written by someone who is a novice, the
activity is concluded successfully. The author admits being scared as he says he felt like “[his] son
Rex looks before he’s got an important line in a school assembly.” This simile demonstrates the
author as inexperienced and nervous facing an unusual event. The fact that he is not in his swimming
clothes unlike the professional swimmers who “have all come in their swimwear under their outer
clothes” also shows how unprepared he is for the activity. By mentioning the temperature as “-4°C,”
the author also emphasizes how uncomfortable he is in the setting. In text one the audience learns
the dangers like the “sea urchins” or “hyperventilation.” Both words make the activity appear risky
and unsafe. The author is a novice although willing to participate. On the other hand, in text two, the
author knows what he is doing although the situation is dangerous. By saying “if I can step onto it,
then I'll have a 9 foot height to descend […] then take a short fall onto the rounded rocks” he depicts
the situation objectively and using if clause sentences to show although he knows what to do,
everything can go wrong instantly. Moreover, by describing the canyon with specific measurements,
the author aims to create a vast but claustrophobic setting where things can get out of hand.
Therefore, in text two the author is an experienced one. Accordingly, both descriptions demonstrate
and emphasize danger; text one in temperature and text two in the distance and the expanse of the
space. However, in text two the audience actually live the dangers along with the writer like when
he says “tearing the skin off the lateral side of [his] forearm” when the boulder “ensnares” him. The
feelings are much more intense and the reader is living them with the use of first person narration. It
discourages the audience from trying this themselves, whereas in text one, the audience who like
“adrenaline” might be inclined to try the sport.
PARAGRAPH 3: PAIN

1. both texts use some emotive language but this is more developed and extensive in Text 2 with
its focus on pain and fear

2. Text 2 uses a recurrent metaphor of fire to describe the pain

3. both focus on time: Text 1 ‘happens in a blur’ and talks about the safe time to be in the water
and Ralston talks of how time seems to change as the accident happens: ‘Time dilates, as if I’m
dreaming’

TEXT ONE “ICE SWIMMING IN TROMSO”
being almost naked in that temperature (-4 °C)
already feels like a commitment to the world of
cold
‘Look, minus one!’ shouts one of the swimmers
There’s nothing for it but to push on and hope to
be home by Christmas.
adrenaline dulling the searing pain of the icy hit
the gun-metal-grey sea (gun metal: word choice,
connected with pain as it hits)
The next and final cruelty, the moment when the
wildebeest falls to the lions, is the shoulders-
under moment
the pain I’ve just put myself through
TEXT 2 “BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE”
tearing the skin off the lateral side of my forearm
my nervous system’s pain response overcomes
the initial shock
Good God, my hand.
The flaring agony throws me into a panic.
I grimace and growl...
searing-hot pain shoots from my wrist up my
arm.
I’m frantic, and I cry out

PARAGRAPH 4: PURPOSE

1. inform the reader

2. share a unique experience
3. to warn the audience about the dangers of the wilderness

In both texts the writers inform their readers about their activity or retelling the events. Text one
shows pride in their activity because the author describes the swimmers dressed in “impressive
national credentials.” It creates the feeling that this sport is something to aspire to. You gain respect
and can idolize these people who do it, because they are professionals in it although the sport is
extremely dangerous. On the other hand, in text two, the activity seems like a bad idea and even
though the writer is presented as strong and experienced. Although the writer withstands the
difficult situation, no one else would want to be in his position. He is almost portrayed as negatively
for putting himself in that position. As he says “my body’s weight applies enough torque to disturb
it's from its position” implies that he caused the accident and he is to blame. Therefore, it he is not
shown in the same tone as the first text.

Both texts describe a journey that not many people would take. On the one hand, text one talks
about a unique cultural experience in Tromso that involves swimming in the icy waters. Therefore,
because this can be considered as a unique adventure, the author is sharing his experiences with the
reader. On the other hand, text two describe the catastrophic events experienced by an expert
canyoneer, where the oxymoronic vast space with a claustrophobic feel become the antagonist
itself. The text is about drop-offs and canyons, a place where not many people would like to visit.
The author both shares his experiences with the reader and warns them of the dangers of being
alone in the nature where wilderness becomes your enemy.

PARAGRAPH 5: TONE

1. Text 1 includes some instances of humour and has a light-hearted tone whereas Text 2 is much
more serious

2. Text 1 has some positive elements but Text 2 does not

3. Text 1 reaches a safe conclusion whereas Text 2 leaves the reader unsure as to what may
happen

4. Text 1 has a calmer tone; Text 2 has a calm tone in the opening but builds up a sense of panic

5. Text 1 gives some explanation of why people choose to place themselves in a potentially
dangerous situation

TEXT ONE “ICE SWIMMING IN TROMSO”
This whole ‘ people dying’ thing was rather
downplayed in the pre-bathe pep talk.
It’s about doing something crazy, because we all
need a bit of craziness in our lives.
TEXT 2 “BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE”
the rock slides another foot down the wall with
my arm in tow, tearing the skin off the lateral
side of my forearm. Then silence.
My disbelief paralyzes me temporarily as I stare
at the sight of my arm vanishing into an
implausibly small gap between the fallen boulder
 and the canyon wall
It certainly feels good to be alive, standing on My desperate brain conjures up a probably
that snow-covered beach wrapped in towels and apocryphal story
coats and fleeces
there’s no way this doesn’t have a stimulating while my body’s chemicals are raging at full
effect mentally. flood, is the best chance I’ll have to free myself
with brute force.
The only danger is that in your post-swim “Come on... move!” Nothing
euphoria you stand about patting yourself on the
back for too long with nothing on your feet and
wonder why, two hours later, once the sensation
has returned to every other part of you, your
toes are still numb

In text one the writer ends on a positive note. He is wrapped in “coats and fleeces” which changes
the atmosphere from “and icy hit” to a friendly, cozy, warm feeling. He talks about the “endorphin-
rush” which tells the reader that he gets satisfaction and happiness from what he's doing. This
warms up the readers and connects them more to the author. He leaves the reader wanting to read
more as he says “we've got to fly further north.” In text two the reader is left wanting to know more
too, but for different reasons. They are worried for the survival and fate of the writer. The last
paragraph keeps describing the tense, dangerous situation where the author’s arm is “ensnared” by
a boulder. Furthermore, the last paragraph keeps describing the tense and dangerous situation and
the writer’s despair as he is “frantic” and “cry out.” With word choice, the author presents his
extreme pain and anxiety as he is doing everything in his power to survive. The closing sentence
“nothing” cuts the story for the reader to question what happens next and how will he get out?
Overall, both of the texts are successful in keeping the reader interested and make them want to
continue reading the story.