Indulgence

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/29445687.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
Relationship: Tartaglia | Childe/Zhongli (Genshin Impact), Tartaglia | Childe & Zhongli
(Genshin Impact)
Character: Zhongli (Genshin Impact), Tartaglia | Childe (Genshin Impact), Xingqiu
(Genshin Impact), Xiangling (Genshin Impact), Hu Tao (Genshin
Impact), Kong | Aether (Genshin Impact), Chongyun (Genshin Impact)
Additional Tags: Loss of Virginity, Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, First Time,
alcohol consumption, Porn With Plot, Zhongli Has a Large Penis
(Genshin Impact), Top Zhongli (Genshin Impact), Bottom Tartaglia |
Childe (Genshin Impact), Dirty Talk, Fluff and Smut, Zhongli is Bad at
Feelings (Genshin Impact), Zhongli Being an Idiot (Genshin Impact),
Horny Tartaglia | Childe (Genshin Impact), Biting, Hook-Up, They are
both bisexual because I say so, Rimming, Masturbation, sexual
awakening, Explicit Sexual Content, Anal Sex, Pornography, Pining,
Oral Sex, Cum Play, cum kink, Creampie, Jealousy, degrading, Praise
Kink, Come Eating, Come Swallowing, Lingerie, Dual Masturbation,
Choking, Fluff and Angst, Comfort/Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending,
Heavy Angst, well in later chapters at least, first 5 are just super horny,
Begging, Side relationship: Xingqiu and Chongyun, Betrayal,
Misunderstandings, Self destructive thoughts, Self-Esteem Issues,
Conflict Resolution, self destructive tendencies, Emotional
Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism,
References to Depression, implied/referenced suicidal ideation
Language: English
Collections: Genshin Hornkee, Zhongli wrecks Childe, genshin fics, The best fics
Stats: Published: 2021-02-14 Completed: 2021-04-18 Words: 106,976
Chapters: 10/10

Indulgence
by woahiohioh

Summary

Zhongli isn't exactly used to the strange bodily longings that come with his new mortal
form. It's all quite confusing to him, but Childe is rather eager to help him navigate them,
offering to help him out when Zhongli was invited to his apartment for drinks and some
"fun". Their meetings were now a common occurrence, but Zhongli can't help but notice
Childe's behavior becoming strange, as if there's more to their meetings than casual sex, as
if his mind is always somewhere Zhongli can't quite reach.

As if Childe is hiding something.

 Navigating Urges Unbeknownst To Me
Chapter Summary

Zhongli is invited over for drinks at Childe's place and discovers deeper intentions his
friend has. Well... what could hurt if he indulged?

Chapter Notes

Edited chapter since the older version posted had some issues with the POV (ie. some
parts were in Childe's POV and not Zhongli's, if there are still some mistakes please
forgive them, I promise my writing gets better as the chapters progress.)

I hope you enjoy this fic, it's my baby and I love it with all of my heart.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

It had been a long time since Zhongli had taken his divine form. Well, relatively, it had not been so
long of a time. The months have begun to feel longer these days whereas the years passed like
minutes in the past. He found himself much more conscientious of time which was more of a
blessing than a curse.

It had been months since the Rite of Parting and it had been months since he had given up his
gnosis. It had been months since he laid down his duties as the God of Contracts and it had been
months since Tartaglia waged his war against his beloved city.

His old form would have held a grudge for centuries and never forgiven him. His old form would
have shown the same amount of mercy as he had shown to the Gods he had slain brutally in wars
past. Despite this, he found himself burdened with no anger now. He found this strange but
welcomed it. There was no ill in his heart as the two of them sat together in the tea house in
comfortable silence as old friends would. He had long since had that conversation with Childe and
long since forgiven him.

Forgiveness was strange. Mortals were strange. He was fascinated with every one he stumbled
across. Sure he had interacted with his people in the past, but it felt much more intimate and close
now with every conversation. Knowing that he was now at least similar to the people around him
in this new form brought him comfort he had never felt before. It was strange, as well, but again,
welcomed.

This new form was strange. He felt a new kind of pain when he nicked himself by accident. He felt
his skin glow warmly when he sat by fires and cold when he strolled alone at night in the trails of
Juyeon Karst. He felt warm with no external stimuli sometimes. He felt warm around Childe. This
was strange as well.

Childe was back from assignments he was tasked with. Zhongli asked him why he wasn’t at home
with his family and was met with him carelessly waving the question away and mentioning
something about missing the city and being sick of the threat of frostbite at all times. This
translated wordlessly as “I have another assignment here and I don’t feel like answering questions
regarding it.” Zhongli knew when to stop asking questions.

The tea was nice. It tasted the same as it always had, new form or old. Some things never change.
This made him feel warm. Comfort? Must be.

The two of them had been talking like old times for a while. Zhongli noticed that as over the
months after the incident passed Childe became friendlier. He supposed he was doing something
correct to earn this. Chile progressed from prolonged eye contact and remarks he didn’t understand
but didn’t mind either to small brushes against his arm and, a while after that, fiddling with his
gloved fingers with his own while flicking his gaze over his body and trailing his finger across his
forearm and thigh. Zhongli didn’t understand why this made him feel warm and, well… he didn’t
know the correct term in all honesty in regards to how it made him feel. But he knew he didn’t
mind. In fact, he quite liked it.

He had asked Childe for tea for a second time this week when he was unexpectedly given a day off
from work and ran into him while browsing the stands on the streets. He stared down at the tea
that he was waiting to cool to the appropriate temperature, thinking. About what? He didn’t really
know. He didn’t understand a lot of things when he was around Childe. He didn’t understand why
that was either.

“Xiansheng, you always look so distant,” Childe laughed with a slap on his back that Zhongli knew
was soft relatively even though it made him grunt a little and jerked him forward. “Maybe we
should drink like real men instead of tea next time, huh? You need to loosen up!”

“Real men?” Zhongli tilted his head in confusion. “Is the tea not to your liking? Is that what you
meant?”

“I always have to be so blunt around you,” Childe groaned with a small laugh. “You need a real
drink is what I’m saying. I actually brought some of my favorite vodka back from home.
Actually… What a great idea. I was going to enjoy it alone tonight, but that would be boring,
wouldn’t it?” Childe gave him a smile that was quite curious. He had never seen a smile that
looked like that before. He wondered what it meant but couldn’t guess if he wanted to. The finger
was running along his thigh again. Was this a mortal custom he wasn’t aware of?

“We could drink it,” Childe continued, the curiousness of his smile melting into his tone, “and
maybe have some… fun? Of course, only if you want to.”

Fun? Ah, perhaps they would play a mortal game. He heard Childe mentioned the games he would
play with his siblings, maybe he would introduce him to his culture? It would indeed be interesting
to learn more about his homeland. “I never had tried vodka,” Zhongli muttered to himself as he
raised a gloved hand to his chin to ponder the invitation. “Sure. I don’t see why not. I have no prior
commitments tonight.”

“The sun is down,” Childe smiled wider. His voice was now slightly lower in pitch. Zhongli
wondered what kind of tea he was drinking to make his voice sound like that. He worried for his
health. He would be sure to ask the tea housemaster about the ingredients used in his brew
tomorrow. “Shall we?”

“We shall,” he agreed.

___
“Please mind the mess,” Childe sang as he opened the door to the apartment provided to him. “I
wasn’t initially expecting guests.”

Zhongli tilted his nose up a little to the clutter before him even though he knew it wasn’t bad deep
down. perhaps Childe remembered he still instinctively turned his foul gaze onto everything that
wasn’t perfect and pristine, an old Godly habit he was still trying to shake off. He bit his tongue to
keep himself from making a remark he would later regret. Childe hummed to himself as he grabbed
a large bottle from an icebox Zhongli assumed was the vodka he spoke of.

Childe poured barely a centimeter into one glass and a grand helping into another. He slid Zhongli
the first one he poured with a smile. “I know your tolerance isn’t that strong and you’re quite
picky, Xiansheng,” Childe smiled playfully. “Try a little first and tell me what you think.”

Zhongli twirled the glass, watching as the cold liquid swirled around. It was clear but pungent. It
smelled awful.

He took an experimental sip and nearly started gagging.

“Ah, what a pitiful sight,” Childe taunted with a chuckle. “It’s a little stronger than tea and wine,
wouldn’t you say?”

“A little,” Zhongli scoffed. He would not be embarrassed so easily, a little voice in his head
declared. With that, while holding back the urge to hold his nose shut, he drank the rest of the glass
with a quick toss of his head while Childe let out an amused laugh.

“I’m impressed,” Childe smiled as he shot back his own glass in a single, trained gulp. “I didn’t
think you would like it that much.”

“It’s disgusting,” Zhongli grumbled as he held out his glass. “I would like more, please.”

Childe laughed a hearty laugh as he poured him another shot. “Don’t go overboard, Xiansheng,”
Childe smiled. “Get too drunk and I’ll be too afraid of taking advantage of you and will have to
drag you home instead of having our fun.”

“Take advantage?” Zhongli asked with a tilt of his head as he downed his glass again. The amount
Childe was giving him was barely two centimeters but it felt like he was drinking the entire bottle.
“I don’t follow.”

“I don’t feel like taking you if you're not present.”

“Take me? What kind of activity did you plan, Childe?”

Childe opened his mouth to speak, closed it, then slapped his forehead with his hand. “I’m an
idiot,” Childe grumbled. “I forgot that I have to spell everything out to you by the letter or else you
don’t understand.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Childe grumbled to himself and shot back another round before pouring himself more. He still
looked completely unfazed after drinking what must have been ten times as much as Zhongli
whereas what might as well be half of a shot was already making Zhongli feel a little lightheaded.
Childe went to pour Zhongli another glass but he held his hand up in refusal, tasting the bitter tang
of defeat so early on. He didn’t feel like getting drunk tonight. This degree of tipsy was enough for
him to handle.

Before answering his question, Childe drank all of his glass with a single gulp again. “Well… In all
honesty… I guess you haven’t even noticed this. I’ve been kinda flirting with you for a couple of
months now.”

“F-flirting?” Zhongli blushed a deep shade of red. “C-Childe, isn’t it… you’re tr… y-you want to
court me?!”

“Archons above, no,” Childe laughed. He was covering his face with his hands and there was a
slight tremble in his voice. Embarrassment? Maybe. “That’s… yeah. Don’t worry about me
proposing to you or something.”

“B-but, to flirt…” Was that what all of those little touches and looks were? Was this how mortals
courted nowadays? It was all too strange.

Wait… how could he flirt but not wish to court? That made no sense.

“I can see those gears turning in your head,” Childe groaned.

“Why… would you flirt if you have no interest in courting?” Zhongli was beyond confused at this
point.

Childe downed another glass. It still looked like it had no effect on him.

“I mean… you are attractive,” Childe pointed out, face flushing slightly. “So you know… When
you didn’t tell me you weren’t into it and even acted like you liked it I thought you wanted to…
you know… do that too, especially when you accepted my invitation here. And I wasn’t exactly
subtle about it, you know! Don’t blame me for you having no clue.”

“Not subtle! Absurd. You didn’t bother sending assortments of teas per courting tradition or-”

“Shit, Zhongli! How high maintenance are you?! Do I need to put a downpayment or something?”
Zhongli knew he was joking, but what about, he had no clue. Childe downed another glass in
frustration.

“Down payment? What do you mean? Are you sure you aren’t trying to co-”

“I’m not trying to court you, dumbass! I’m trying to fuck you!”

It took a moment for Zhongli to register those words. They sat in silence for what felt like an
eternity, Zhongli’s face blank and Childe’s bright red.

The realization of what Childe just said settled in Zhongli like the pain settles in a foot when one
stubs their toe. After processing for a moment, Zhongli felt hot embarrassment and shock that
settled as a small flame in his gut grow into a forest fire that lit up his face, set weights all over his
aching body, and made his tongue trip over his words. He slowly began to feel as if he was going
to faint. The floor was swimming and the walls were closing in as he felt himself lose his balance.

“C-c-c…”

He couldn’t even form a sentence. He felt like he was dying. Childe downed another glass.

“Don’t be so dramatic!” Childe snapped. “You’re gonna make this more awkward for both of us!”

“Childe!” Zhongli finally gasped. “Y-you can’t say such things! And t-t-to ask one to do… to do…
that! That! That… without- without being married, no, not even that, without even any f-form of
romantic… to… to ask someone that! To ask s-someone…” His vision was blacking out at the
corners. He probably was actually going to faint.

“Dude! It’s not that big of a deal! We’re adults. It’s a normal thing-”

“Y-you do that thing on occasion?!”

“Yeah, I’m an adult and I can do what I want.”

Zhongli stumbled over his words and covered his face. “Childe! Y-you can’t just…”

“Why not? Gods above, are you my dad or something?”

Zhongli weakly shook his head. “I… just… I don’t know what the traditions of your nation are, but
here… It’s always been-”

“Didn’t you say yourself that the people of Liyue can live however they want now?”

Zhongli couldn’t figure out if that was a joke or not. Childe looked shocked, legitimately shocked
when Zhongli slowly lifted his head up in epiphany.

“You’re right,” Zhongli muttered. Childe slapped his forehead with his palm again and went on
pouring himself another glass. “I can’t believe I didn’t consider it in the past. Childe, I apologize.
My reaction was far out of line.”

“Have you calmed down yet?”

“In all honesty, no. I just can’t believe-”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Childe grumbled as he took another shot.

“Then I suppose… I can do such things as well.”

Childe choked and spat out the vodka in his mouth, heaving into a coughing fit before responding.

“Y-you… didn’t think you could before?”

“Of course not,” Zhongli said simply. “It’s simply out of line regarding the ways the people of
Liyue have always done things and never in my divine time have I desired a spouse or children. I
simply served no purpose in doing such, so I deemed it unnecessary.”

“So… you’re a virgin?”

“I have never had my first time, no.”

“Really?” Childe exclaimed in surprise. “But, you’ve lived for so long! Surely you’ve had
someone you liked, right?”

“No, never. There was no need. My only purpose was to protect and serve the people of Liyue. I
had no time for mortal pleasures such as a lover.”

Childe’s face fell a little. “So… not even a first kiss?”

“No.”
Childe choked on a laugh and Zhongli felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him.

“Why is that funny?”

“It’s not… I’m sorry,” Childe chucked, waving him off. “I just didn’t expect that. I thought you
were way more experienced than me.”

“Then how experienced are you?”

“Shit, how experienced?” Zhongli flinched at the curse word unintentionally. “I lost count.
Probably kissed like… over fifty… no… more than that counting boys and girls. And I fu- ahm…
had sex with over thirty people, I think that’s boys and girls combined. Like I said, lost count. This
is just a guess.”

“H-how?!” Zhongli tried to hide the fascination in his voice but knew he didn’t when he watched
Childe sheepishly scratch his neck and hide his flushed face.

“You know… travel a lot on the job, don’t be scared to start a conversation… why am I talking
about this again?”

Zhongli pondered his response for an uncomfortable amount of time. Finally, he leaned back in his
chair, let out a small sigh, and nodded a quick, short nod.

“Okay,” he said far too casually. “I accept your invitation.”

The room went still.

“W-what?”

“You’re obviously experienced,” Zhongli said simply, “and with this mortal form comes mortal
desires. If my suspicions of these strange feelings being sexual are correct, then you are obviously
the most fit to help me navigate them as you know a great deal of such things.”

“Wait a minute,” Childe said quickly, holding his hands up. “You can’t just hand your first time
off like that, you know! And just because I’m experienced? Is that all? And what do you mean by
desires?!”

“Well,” Zhongli began, “you’re obviously the best choice. I know you well and you’ve expressed
you’re interested in such… activities with me. This decision is taking into consideration the skill
you must have acquired over the years as well. By desires… How do I explain it?” Zhongli paused
in thought for a moment. “I have felt… strange sometimes. I attribute that to this new mortal form.
It feels hot to the touch and I long to feel something next to me and… around… uh…”

Zhongli looked down and covered his face with a hand to mask his blushing face. Childe cursed
again softly and took another shot while Zhongli scrunched his face at the vulgarity of his words.
“I suppose you are a male mortal form as well, so it’s not strange to tell you such things as you
have the same struggles as I do,” he decided with a sigh. “Sometimes, my penis-”

“Don’t,” Childe said firmly. “Don’t say anything else and don’t say that word again, ever.”

“The word penis? Why? It’s a natural part of the male mortal anatomy-”

“It’s a gross word! Say dick or even cock for fu- for Archon’s sake!”

“How can you say those words!” Zhongli exclaimed again. “To say such things but call the word
pe-”

“Zhongli, I beg of you. Please don’t say it again.”

“My apologies. I didn’t think such a word would bother you so much.”

Childe shuffled his feet. “This is a weird question, but… don’t you… masturbate?”

“What’s that?”

Childe sighed and shook his head.“You know what? Let’s do it. What the hell? I’ll take the liberty
of teaching you a thing or two. I brought you all the way here with that in mind, anyway.”

"You mean... have sex?

"Duh."

“Alright.”

They both continued to sit at the table in silence.

“So,” Zhongli mumbled sheepishly and slowly, “how do… we start?”

Childe groaned and shook his head. “Follow me,” he sighed as he stood and began to walk to the
bedroom as Zhongli curiously followed.

___

Childe’s bedroom was modest and small which was to be expected from a temporary apartment.
Zhongli quite liked the quaintness of it. It was certainly cleaner than the kitchen and living space,
which he was very thankful for. Not perfect, but good enough.

“Make yourself at home on the bed,” Childe said casually. Zhongli awkwardly sat on the edge,
posture straight and hands on his knees. He found himself fumbling with the end of his tailcoat.

“Still a little on edge?”

“I suppose,” Zhongli admitted. He knew he shouldn’t feel this nervous, but for some reason, he
did. Childe crawled into his lap, sitting directly atop his crotch which sent a feeling coursing
through Zhongli he didn’t recognize, and lightly laid his hand on his shoulder. He pushed gently,
silently asking him to lean back. Zhongli did so, letting Childe hover over his figure and set his
mouth dangerously close to his.

“I suppose I’ll have to teach you how to kiss too,” Childe sighed. “Do you still want to do this?
Don’t feel like you have an obligation or anything.”

“I do want to. I am… rather curious to try this.” Zhongli didn’t understand why his voice was
trembling slightly and why it dropped down an octave.

With that spoken permission, Childe laid down a soft kiss on Zhongli’s lips.

Zhongli knew of kissing. He saw it at the weddings he attended and shared by lovers on the streets
of Liyue. He figured it was some kind of tradition shared among spouses that he wasn’t familiar
with. He never bothered to imagine what it would feel like or felt the desire to kiss someone, so he
had no expectations. He didn’t know how it would feel, and he didn’t know he would be so
surprised by the sensation.

It was wet. It was extremely wet. But it was warm, too. Organized but sloppy, patient but with
intentions held back with a chain and collar underneath the mask of gentleness. Zhongli let out a
noise he never heard himself utter before when he felt Childe suck against his bottom lip and lick
around the corners of his mouth before pressing their mouths together again with a soft smack.

He unintentionally opened his mouth and let out another odd sound when Childe crept a sneaky
tongue to dance against his before pulling back. “Don’t just lie there,” Childe breathed. “Kiss
back.”

“H-how?” Zhongli could barely hear the words spoken by Childe with the thudding of his heart
drowning out all sound. He felt that weird warm and tingly feeling swelling in his gut again. In the
past, he would just wait it out until it passed before resuming whatever task he was occupied with.
He had a feeling that wouldn’t be happening tonight.

“Try doing what I’m doing. We’ll go slow, okay?”

Zhongli nodded again and felt Childe brush his lips against his own again. He tried to move his
mouth in time with Childe, sucking when he sucked and licking when he did. When Zhongli
opened his mouth wide again in time with him, their teeth hit. Zhongli covered his mouth in reflex
and Childe cackled.

“You suck at this,” he laughed. “Ow!”

“Sorry,” Zhongli muttered. “I… must not be pleasing you well right now.”

“Hey… I’m sorry. I was just joking.” Childe pecked his lips quickly. “Maybe we can pass on
kissing with tongue for now and keep it soft and simple.”

“O… Okay.”

Childe dove back in for another kiss. He was being light and feathery now, moving in a steady
rhythm Zhongli found it easy to get the hang of. He was now playing with the edge of Zhongli’s
coat, slowly dragging it off of his shoulders. He broke their contact with another smack to lean
Zhongli up to slide it and his gloves off of him completely before cupping his face with one hand
while deepening their kiss and playing with his tie with the other.

“Your hands…”

Childe held Zhongli’s bare, orange-yellow hands in his own and traced the black tattoos that
disappeared into his shirt. “That looks so hot,” he breathed. “Beautiful… they shine like crafted
jewelry.” He held one by his neck and gave him a wide smile, eyes half-lidded and face blushing
lightly while Zhongli’s fingers twitched to touch Childe’s bare skin. “They’d make a lovely
necklace for me, don’t you think?”

Zhongli’s heart was a drum that drowned out everything Childe just said. “What?”

“Ah, never mind. You’re not ready for that yet.”

Zhongli chose not to press the matter when he felt Childe’s lips kiss his neck. He moaned lightly
when he felt his tongue lick a small and slow stripe up to his jawline.
“I said to not just lie there,” Childe breathed against him. “You’re allowed to touch me.”

Zhongli breathed in a sharp inhale at those words and cautiously lifted his hands to run across
Childe's shoulders. All the while, Childe stared down with intensity as he explored his body with
soft and delicate touches. When Zhongli’s hands traveled to his chest and laid there while pressing
softly, Childe gave him another wide smile.

“You hanging in there?” Childe asked with a small chuckle. “You look so flushed.”

Did he? Zhongli didn’t know. His face did feel incredibly hot. “I’m okay,” he sighed.

“It’s frustrating, isn’t it? Trying to touch me with all of this shit in the way.”

“Childe! Don’t say such words!”

“Why? Is it too dirty?” he leaned down against Zhongli’s ear. The flutter of his lips and the hotness
of his breath against it made him shudder. “We’re going to be doing a lot dirtier things, later. We
can’t be bothered by filthy things, can we?”

Zhongli felt chills run down his body at those words. He felt warmer. He didn’t know why he felt
warmer, but he did. It was strange. All of this was so strange. The strangest was his growing need
to feel Childe’s lips against his own again.

Need. He needed to be touched. This confused him.

“Can I undress us both? So we can get this shit out of the way.”

Zhongli felt even warmer, hot even, at Childe’s words as he nodded his head. To be so desperate to
lay bare with him that clothing has been regarded as actual shit, the thought that Childe needed to
be touched as badly as he did… It made him feel… Feel…

“Those pants look awfully tight, Xiansheng. Shall I remove those first?”

Zhongli looked down at the tent in his pants. He hardly noticed. They did feel tight. Childe really
was experienced to notice this so quickly and offer so diligently, he thought to himself. “Sure,” he
uttered so softly it was nearly a whisper.

Childe undid the fastens of his own shirt first and slid it over his shoulders before throwing it aside.
Zhongli stared at his bare chest, at the freckles that danced along it, the light muscles and abs that
were carved into him and the two dark pink nipples that were hard and at attention. They looked
delicious for reasons Zhongli wasn’t aware of. He wanted nothing more than to lick and suck them
swollen.

Childe threw off his gloves before pulling Zhongli’s boots off of his feet. He felt strange being
undressed like a child as he did this and when he felt sneaky fingers undoing his pants, but he found
he didn’t mind much. He took the liberty of undoing his tie and tossing it aside while Childe pulled
his pants off of his body while he stepped out of his own boots.

“Wow, Zhongli,” Childe breathed as he ran a finger down his thigh. That simple action Childe did
all the time felt different now. Zhongli drew in a shaky breath. “You’re so big .”

“What?” Zhongli’s chest was heaving and the world underneath him was spinning. Was this
arousal? It must be arousal. What a strange feeling. “I don’t follow.”

“Your cock,” Childe clarified with a small laugh. “The indent of your cock… it’s so big.”
“Is-is this… a bad thing?”

“Fuck no, it isn’t,” Childe sighed. Zhongli flinched at the curse but chose to remain quiet. “It’s
just… going to be a little bit of a challenge when I...”

“Challenge? What do… you…”

Zhongli trailed off when he felt fingers undoing the buttons of his shirt one by one painfully slow.
He stifled another noise from escaping when his own bare chest was exposed and he felt intense
eyes on it. “Holy… just… Zhongli,” Childe breathed with a shaky tone, “you’re so… what
workouts have you been doing?” Childe laughed lightly as he traced his fingers along his abs and
chest. When they reached his nipples, Zhongli let out a soft moan.

It felt… good. That was the appropriate term.

“Why… are you asking… about-”

“You’re so fucking sexy,” Childe interrupted as he ran his hands across Zhongli’s chest. “Those
tattoos, those markings, your muscles… You’re driving me wild.”

Zhongli let out a soft moan when he felt teeth sliding across his tendons and his warm mouth suck
hard against it. Zhongli hoped that he looked appealing. Even with the curse in Childe’s phrase,
his words brought him comfort. “You’re always covered head to toe… You shouldn’t be hiding
this amazing body from me. Do you mind me leaving a few hickeys? No one’s gonna see them
anyway with that suit you always wear.”

“What’s a hickey?”

“A bruise left on skin by someone sucking on it.”

Zhongli thought for a moment. “If you… ah… think it’s best, then… do whatever you want. I’m
not… familiar with this sort of thing anyway.” His voice was husky and clouded. His
undergarments were tight. Were they always this tight?

Childe nodded then sucked harder. Zhongli arched his back a little and gasped when he felt teeth
lightly nip at the new bruise and continue to trail down slowly, basking his neck and collarbones
with dark bites and marks before reaching his best. Childe sucked and teased his nipples while
running his hands up and down his sides, making Zhongli tremble and moan while his hand rested
on Childe’s head.

“Is it good,” Childe asked in a light and airy tone as he moved down to his abdomen after having
his fill of teasing.

“It’s… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? Do you want to stop?”

“No,” he said quickly. The thought of having to stop made his stomach drop. “Do keep going.”

“Okay. Just say if it’s too much, too fast, or you need to stop.”

Zhongli nodded and let his head fall back when he felt that warm and soft mouth kiss the start of
his happy trail. Zhongli pondered how low he was going to go and why he was doing this when he
felt his undergarments slide off of his legs and be tossed to the floor, exposing him completely.
It was a little embarrassing to be fully nude in front of his dearest mortal friend, but he didn’t feel
uncomfortable. He felt safe. He didn’t know why he felt safe in such a vulnerable position in front
of one of Teyvat’s most dangerous men.

Childe leaned back a little and whistled at the newly exposed length that was leaking a little against
the bed. It felt dirty. Zhongli felt incredibly dirty, but it was good. It was very good.

“Holy shit, Zhongli,” Childe breathed as he kept his eyes glued on his fully hard cock. “Fuck big,
you’re monstrous.”

Zhongli covered his face in shame. “I’m sorry,” he whimpered. Why was he whimpering? How
pathetic. “I apologize for it not being to your liking-”

“Oh, it’s to my liking alright,” Childe laughed. “You’re huge! This is definitely the cock of a God.
I feel like I’ve just opened a present! Damn. I’m gonna ride that one day.”

Ride? Ride his… thing? What did that mean?

“So… do you want me to touch it or suck it?”

Zhongli didn’t register what he said. All he could think about was how close Childe’s face was to
his cock and how positively lewd that was. “Uh… what would… be better?”

“Out of personal preference, I say suck. But if you don’t want something that intense for your first
time, that’s okay.”

Zhongli paused in thought, then nodded. “You… can suck, then.” He didn’t know what suck
meant. He was just agreeing with everything Childe said at this point.

Zhongli felt those warm lips encapsulate the tip of his cock and he moaned loudly and lifted his
hips and back off of the bed. A pulse of that warm, tingly feeling coursed through his body,
blanking out his mind and making his tongue fall slack against the inside of his mouth. He moaned
again when he felt Childe suck gently, swirling his tongue around it and moaning in return as he
popped off to spit on it and run his mouth over the sides of his shaft.

Zhongli quickly covered his mouth to keep himself from releasing those embarrassing sounds as
Childe continued to work. He felt himself go a little limp and legs spread unintentionally when
Childe sunk his mouth down deeper and began to slowly jerk his cock with his hand. He then
popped out as he continued to stroke him, smiling as he looked into his eyes.

This did feel dirtier than the words Childe said, Zhongli thought. His cock was in his hands as he
slowly rubbed it, a sweet smile on his face and lips pink, damp and swollen from sucking, cheek oh
so close to the working hand as he adorably tilted his head to the side. It made Zhongli release
another low sound he didn’t mean to make, which made Childe smile wider.

Erotic. That must be the right word. This was so erotic he didn’t know how much more he could
handle.

“Do you see how I’m touching your cock, Xiansheng,” Chile cooed as he rubbed the tip with two
delicate fingers. Zhongli couldn’t find himself able to respond as he trembled.

“Look. Look at how I’m stroking it. When you’re alone and need to be touched, you do it like this,
okay?”

Zhongli didn’t like being talked to like he was a baby. It was humiliating and he could hear the
teasing cockiness in Childe’s smile as he continued to earn deep groans from Zhongli. He
wondered how he could get that smug tone out of his voice.

“Tell me that you see it.”

“I…” Zhongli gulped when Childe set both hands to lightly squeeze as he continued to pump his
cock. “I see it.”

“And it feels good?”

Zhongli pondered the response. Feels good? Did it feel good? He desperately wanted more so it
must. He nodded his head for fear that any verbal response would lead to another moan.

“Tell me it feels good.”

“It… ah! It does,” Zhongli grunted out. His back arched when Childe licked the tip and held his
tongue there as he continued to stroke him. “It feels good. Childe… ah… it feels good.”

“I would take you completely with my mouth like I was planning to,” he sang cooly, “but I don’t
think I’ll have any more energy if I did. You’re so big, Xiansheng. So, so fucking big. Look at me.
Look at me suck and lick your cock.”

Zhongli moaned as Childe sucked the tip and continued to rub his length. He obeyed the requests
made to him and looked down at Childe kitten licking his cock and held his mouth closed with
both hands to stop the sounds from leaving his lips. The warm tingly feeling was pooling in his gut.
It was hot, so hot. He needed more. He desperately wanted to feel it more.

Childe looked… He didn’t even know. He imagined the sight of those long fingers wrapping
around his length, spreading precum and saliva all over him while that delicious pink tongue who’s
taste was burned against his licked and kissed the tip would be ingrained in his memory far sharper
than any other. He was doing a good job, an amazing job. A spectacular job. To look that delicious
and erotic while making him feel so… good, so amazingly good… He felt like he was going to
burst at any moment. The tension inside of him was filling him to the brink. He didn’t know how
much more he had the strength to take.

“Ah, are you already going to cum,” Childe sang sweetly with a smile when he felt his cock twitch.
“It’s okay, Xiansheng. Cum inside of my mouth. I promise to swallow every drop.”

Cum? Going to cum? What did that mean? All he knew now was how intense this feeling was
getting and how it was spreading across his entire body. The soft squelching noises of the hands
rubbing down his length slick with precum and spit and the light moans, sighs, and smacks that left
Childe’s warm and oh so soft lips while he teasingly licked and sucked his weeping tip was making
him feel like, feel like… Feel…

Without warning, he felt a sharp and hot sensation strike his cock and slowly and harshly crawl
across every inch of his body, filling him entirely from the tips of his toes and fingers to the top of
his head. It consumed his entire being. His jaw went slack and his eyes rolled to the back of his
head, toes curled, back arched, his hips thrust upward, and his body shook violently as he let out a
long, drawn-out and confused moan at the feeling that was possessing him. He felt something
come out and he felt Childe drink and swallow it. Ejactulated. He knew what ejactulation was. He
ejaculated in Childe’s soft, warm mouth. That thought pounded through his mind like thunder.

Sharp stimuli hit his cock and invaded his otherwise clouded mind as he jerked underneath
Childe’s touch. Childe pulled away from his now soft dick with a small kiss goodbye and removed
his hands before crawling above him with a wide and proud smile plastered across his face. There
was cum on his lips and chin that he was licking off while maintaining eye contact. That made
Zhongli’s stomach swirl.

He kept his promise to drink every drop. Zhongli felt the need to call him good for doing that, but
bit his tongue. He didn’t know how strange saying such a thing would be.

“Looks like I did a good job,” he grinned. “How was it?”

“W-what did you do to me,” Zhongli stuttered. “What- Did you put something in my drink? What
in Archon’s name was that? What just happened to me?”

“An orgasm.”

Zhongli pondered the response, then let out a sigh. “That… was…”

“Hmm? How was it?”

“Amazing.”

Childe laughed a loud and ringing laugh. “Did you not know it could feel good like that,
Xiansheng?”

“I did… not. Just… Childe… It was spectacular.”

“Try not to compliment me too much,” Childe smiled. “You might feed into my ego.” Childe
paused in thought for a moment. “I was hoping to actually be fucked by you, but maybe not on the
first night. I do have a little issue of my own,” he sighed as he motioned to the tent in his boxers.
“Can you try taking care of this?”

“I’m bound to not be as good as the other people-”

“Don’t mention that right now,” Childe shut him down quickly. “I just want to be here in the
moment with you. Do you think you can return the favor?”

“I can,” Zhongli agreed quickly. “You’ll just need to give me guidance.”

Childe nodded and slid down his underwear and exposed his arousal. Zhongli stared down at it
with fascination, taking note of the tip that was the same light shade of pink as Childe’s lips, the
way it stood with a slight curve upwards and how its girth slowly increased further down to the
base. If Zhongli was monstrous as Childe cruely described, he must be a good size. Significantly
smaller than him, but a good size.

“Don’t make fun of me,” Childe joked with a light-hearted laugh. “I actually wasn’t expecting to
be smaller than you in all honesty. I promise I’m big in comparison to what’s average! You’re just
a giant, Xiansheng-”

“It’s cute.”

Zhongli couldn’t stop the words from coming out of his mouth. He had a thought and couldn’t stop
himself. Childe flushed at the compliment, covered his face with his hands and cried into them.
“Zhongli,” he fake sobbed, “I told you not to make fun of me!”

“I did not mean it negatively. I apologize if my tone was wrong.”

“You’re fine,” Childe laughed. “I just wasn’t expecting that. So, I guess you don’t know what a
handjob is, right?”

“I am unfamiliar.”

“Alright. So… remember how I rubbed your dick earlier? Just do that. It’s easy.”

Zhongli nodded and hesitantly moved his hand towards him. “So… with one hand?”

“Yeah. Maybe spit on it first so you’re not touching me dry.”

“My hand?”

“Sure.”

Zhongli spat on his hand. The act felt disgusting, but it was to return the favor, so he didn’t mind
all that much. He slowly moved his hand over Childe’s aching length, pausing and letting it hover
over it.

“Can I?” Zhongli asked quietly. Childe nodded.

“Yeah.”

Zhongli lightly touched the tip and rubbed it in circles like Childe did to him. Childe moaned softly
and leaned into his touch.

“I’m going to lie down, okay?”

Zhongli nodded, and Childe lay down on the bed as Zhongli continued to work. After a while of
rubbing the tip, Zhongli let his hand travel down the sides, stroking him in the same way he was
stroked moments ago. Childe let out a pleased hum.

“You’re a fast learner,” he praised. “That’s not bad.”

“But not good?”

“Try… ah… going a little faster and squeeze harder.”

Zhongli did as he was told and was meant with a sharp cry from Childe. “N-not that hard,” he
laughed. “You’re not choking it! Firm but soft.”

Zhongli nodded and loosened his grip. Childe hummed a pleased tune again, relaxing against the
mattress as Zhongli continued to work.

After a while of moving his hand up and down in a steady rhythm while Childe let out the
occasional soft sigh, the action began to feel repetitive. Zhongli tried to think up a way to ask
Childe if this was good and if he needed to do anything differently but was asked before he could
speak.

“Hey… I’m going to ask you to do something that’s a little… weird. Like it might be to you, but…
let me grab something real quick.”

Zhongli let go on Childe’s cock with a short nod. “Okay. What are you grabbing?”

“Lube.”

Childe hastily grabbed a bottle of lube from a drawer in the nightstand and handed it to Zhongli.
“So… only if you want to, pour some on your fingers…”

“Is your… um… dick not wet enough? My apologies.” Childe chuckled at Zhongli’s embarrassed
face from saying such a naughty word.

“No, my dick is wet enough,” Childe sighed with a smile. “I want you to… finger me.”

Zhongli blinked. “Finger you?”

“Put your fingers in my ass.” It felt weird to say aloud. Childe wasn’t exactly a fan of having to say
these things aloud.

Zhongli blushed a deep shade and his eyes went wide. “P-put… in your… in-in… why?! ”

“It feels good.”

“But… that’s where… you… Out of that, you…”

“Poop?”

Zhongli nodded sheepishly. He really felt pathetic.

“Guys have a g spot in their ass. It feels good when you stimulate it.”

“G spot?”

“This might as well be sex-ed class,” Childe groaned. “Fucking just do it, please. I don’t feel like
explaining it and I’m getting a little impatient.”

Zhongli hesitated, then nodded slowly. “Um… okay.”

Childe laid back down. “Pour a good amount on your index finger,” he instructed, “then slowly
push it in and stop when I tell you I need to adjust, okay?”

Zhongli nodded. He couldn’t believe he was doing such a thing. But, it was for Childe, after all,
and he knew more than he did…

“You can start… stroking me again.”

Zhongli felt cool liquid pour over his finger while he nodded. After setting the lube aside, he began
to slowly stroke Childe, earring a soft and pleased moan from him. Childe reached his hand down
to his ass and spread his cheek, exposing his hole and looking at him in a silent plea.

Zhongli didn’t understand why that sight made him hard again. He didn’t know how long he was
hard, actually. Maybe the action made him notice.

With a shaky hand, Zhongli pressed his finger against Childe’s entrance and received a gentle
whine in response.

“So, just… put it in?”

“Yeah. Slowly, please.”

He then slowly pressed it inside, stopping when Childe scrunched his face up in pain and sinking it
in completely once he earned a small nod of permission.
It felt weird around his finger. It was hot, wet, and the texture was odd. It was… squishy on the
inside and there were a lot of ridges. It was so, so tight around the entrance. It felt good around his
index. It excited him and sent electricity and warmth shooting through him.

He wondered how it would feel around his cock.

“Try and… ah… curl your finger upwards so you can find it, like in the direction of my stomach. It
shouldn’t be too difficult for you to do.”

Zhongli presumed he meant the spot he was talking of earlier. He curled in finger upwards,
savoring the wet noises both of his hands made as they worked. Childe let out a shaky moan and
parted his legs further.

“Is… it good,” Zhongli asked softly. Childe nodded.

“You’re doing good,” he praised. “Just stroke me faster and… add another finger. I… want more.”

Zhongli silently obliged to his request, sliding a second finger inside of Childe. Childe let out
another beautiful moan at the intrusion and shivered a little. He loved those noises he made. He
wanted desperately to keep punching them out of-

“Ah! Zhongli, right there! Do it harder!”

Zhongli rubbed his fingers over a slight bump with a bit more force as he was instructed and Childe
whimpered and flushed his knees to the bed as he opened himself wider for him.

“Faster. Move both of your hands fa- ahh! Oh fuck, Zhongli… you’re doing good! You’re doing so
much better than I thought you… ah! Ah, fuck!”

Zhongli grunted a little as he stroked and rammed his fingers into that spot harder. Childe’s legs
were now shaking and his breath was hitched. His face was flushed an adorable shade of pink. He
looked adorable. Zhongli wanted nothing more at that moment than to protect that face and make
sure it was always twisted in pleasure and was left satisfied by him. He felt a twinge of
competitiveness and possessiveness at the thought that so many other people saw him make that
face and he thrust his fingers in and out of his swollen hole harshly. He wanted this to be at least
memorable. He would be damned if he were remembered as a sheepish virgin who could barely
please him the way others could.

Fuck, he wished that his fingers thrusting in and out of that delicious, wet, tight hole were his cock.
He wished so badly. He wished his cock was punching those noises out of him. He wished it was
his cock that made his legs spread and body tremble. He wished it was his cock making those
splotches of color bloom across Childe’s pale, smooth, and freckled skin. That beautiful, delectable
skin.

Zhongli leaned down to suck at Childe’s nipple and lick the sweat that was forming a glistening
layer. Childe arched his back into the touch and whimpered, actually whimpered. Zhongli smiled
in pride and bit down a little, making Childe shudder underneath him. He tasted so sweet. So
deliciously sweet. He loved this. He loved this more than he could possibly anticipate. He knew he
would never be able to look at his dear friend the same again after having such thoughts and doing
such things, but he couldn’t care less.

“Is it good,” Zhongli breathed against his chest as he sucked what Childe called a “hickey” next to
his now swollen and damp nipples. He was so proud of his creation. So, so proud. “Am I making
you feel good?”
“Fuck yes you are,” Childe moaned. “I… ugh… I feel so good! Zhongli, you’re making me feel so
good…”

Zhongli felt more pride swirl in his gut as he fucked Childe on his fingers harder as he sucked and
bit more spots, littering Childe’s chest with claiming marks like how Childe did to him. They
weren’t as dark and it was taking him longer, but he was doing it nonetheless. He supposed even
that required practice. He imagined how much louder Childe’s voice would be if he was pounding
into him instead of just using his fingers. He wondered how strange that thought actually was.

“I’m cumming,” Childe sighed as he shook under Zhongli’s touch. “I’m cumming, I…”

With a soft and high whine, Childe came in ribbons across his chest and clenched his muscles
down on Zhongli’s fingers. Zhongli stilled his motions, remembering how unpleasant the
aftershocks were for him, and slowly pulled his fingers out and removed his hand from Childe’s
twitching dick as he leaned back to study the sight before him.

Childe’s eyes were fluttered closed, chest heaving and ruined with cum and bruises. His legs were
still shaking, flaccid cock lying against his abdomen, face and body flushed pink. He definitely
would never be able to look at him the same after seeing him like that, seeing him so fucked out
and satisfied from Zhongli’s hands and mouth.

“Are you okay,” Zhongli asked in a quiet tone. Childe nodded his head.

“Kiss me.”

Zhongli leaned down and did the best he could. He pressed his lips against his, trying to move his
mouth in the same rhythm he was shown as Childe ran his fingers through his hair. The contact
was nice. It was so nice.

“You’re getting better at that. Good job… but got a little excited,” Childe smirked as he eyed
Zhongli’s aching length. “Wanna keep going? I have a lot more stamina than you think.”

“I… would like to wait it out,” Zhongli said simply. “My apologies if that disappoints you. It was
quite enjoyable, but I believe I’ve had my fill for tonight.”

“That’s fine. Don’t ever apologize for wanting to stop, Zhongli. You have every right to stop
whenever you want no matter what. Was it a good first time?”

“It was more than good,” Zhongli smiled softly as he reached for his clothes. “Thank you. I hope I
was also able to satisfy you, as well, as much as you satisfied me.”

“You did,” Childe smiled in return. “You did really good, for the first time at least. Can you come
over another time for me to teach you some more things?”

“I would like that.” He was now dressing himself in his shirt. Childe stood up with shaky legs to
stop him.

“You haven’t heard of aftercare, right?” Was there nervousness in that voice? Surely not. They
reached the top level of intimacy, after all. Why would he be nervous? “After sex, normally people
would… cuddle and take a bath together and stuff. And… sleep together. Not metaphorically, I
mean… literally.”

“Childe, you are acting quite soft right now. It’s uncharacteristic.”

Childe scoffed. “What, I can trust you with my body but can’t act nice?”
 “I apologize. I did not mean for my words to hurt. I… quite like it.” Zhongli cupped Childe’s face
in his hand. “I would like to try this aftercare, and… I would like to kiss you again.”

Childe gave him a short and sweet kiss at that request. “I’ll draw a bath,” he declared. “And I
forgive you. You’re not mean, just a little stupid.”

“I am not stupid, Childe.”

Childe stuck his tongue at him while he motioned for Zhongli to follow him to the bathroom.
Zhongli settled on Childe calling him stupid as a means of being playful so he let the comment go.

They bathed together. Zhongli declared he would wash himself per how he always had despite
Childe’s teasing and constant pleas for him to do so. Bathing was intimate, not the same intimate as
sex but still intimate. The air was slightly different than the air of bathing in hot springs while they
soaked and washed in the same bath in what might as well be Childe’s home. Childe mostly talked
about mundane things, desperately trying to fill in the silence that Zhongli wasn’t bothered by.

Zhongli was invited to stay the night and cuddle until they fell asleep, but declined as he had work
to do in the morning and couldn’t risk being late. He could’ve sworn he saw a flash of
disappointment in Childe’s eyes, but he dismissed it when Childe didn’t bring it up for fear of
asking too much.

They both got dressed, said their goodbyes, and parted. It was all very short but sweet, Zhongli
decided as he strolled down the Liyue streets. The walk home felt different than the walks home he
usually had. His head was still swimming and his legs felt heavy. Not a bad heavy, but heavy
nonetheless.

Hookup? Was that what this was called? He was sure he heard that term before from somewhere.
Hookup. He hooked up with his best friend. That thought ringed through his head.

The soap on his body smelled like Childe. He did not know what to think of that.

Chapter End Notes

Zhongli is the OG big dick boy change my mind you can't.

 I’m A Fast Learner
Chapter Summary

Zhongli takes it upon himself to learn more about the art of intercourse and stumbles
upon something quite interesting that piques his interest, or, Zhongli eats Childe out.

Chapter Notes

One of my favorite Genshin lore fun facts is that it’s literally canon that Xingqiu reads
smut in his spare time.

I have no idea where Zhongli canonically lives, but for the sake of this fic, I’m going
to assume he has an apartment provided to him by the funeral parlor. I’m pretty sure
he’s homeless, but that would make everything really difficult storywise. So please
pardon any inconsistencies to the canon material.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

A God’s composure around their people is one to never falter, so it was to be expected that Zhongli
carried on his day’s tasks as usual after he and Childe had their “fun” three days ago. Well, as usual
as it could go with the events constantly replaying in his head. He found that his mind greatly
relaxed when he was going about his days as he always did, however, and so he occupied himself
with what was normal to him.

When he did find himself with free time, he took it upon himself to research the art of mortal
physical pleasures since he was lacking in knowledge in the topic. He swore an oath with himself
to not discuss a word with anyone about the activities he was now engaged with as he understood
sex to be quite private and not spoken of among peers. After all, none he knew ever discussed such
topics with him through his years, so that must be the case.

He found himself reading quite a few books on human anatomy and refreshing his memory on old
courtship rituals since there were no guides on the actual act of sex he could find when browsing
the bookhouse. He did receive a joking comment about the oddity of this combination from Jifang
when checking out both the volumes “The Medical Student’s Guide To Exterior Anatomy” and
“How To Strengthen Your Marriage: A Foolproof Guide For Men”, but other than that, there was
no shame in his purchase.

And yet he was unsatisfied with the results of his research and left to browse through the selection
of novels before him this particular afternoon, trailing a finger over the covers as he searched
through the titles to find something that was even remotely related to what he wanted to find.

“Ah, Zhongli! My liege, I did not take you for someone to read romance.”

Zhongli looked over his shoulder to find Xingqiu standing behind him with an armful of a wide
assortment of novels with a light smile over his face. Zhongli gave a small nod in his direction.
“Xingqiu. I am not surprised to find you here.”

“It’s nothing less than a second home of mine,” Xingqiu smiled. “Could it be that you are lost for a
title you are searching for? I would not mind helping in the slightest, my liege. I know this
bookhouse like the back of my hand.”

“I’m afraid that I am searching for a certain subject in particular,” Zhongli stated matter-of-factly.
“Though, I wouldn’t know-”

“Zhongli,” Xingqiu interrupted, “I know precisely what you mean. Tastes as grand as ours are not
easily satisfied with the norms of what is provided to us. I know of a captivating fantasy novel
that’s one of the many favorites of mine I was going to reread, but I suppose it can wait. Here.” He
pulled a title from his armful and gave it to Zhongli. “I am quite knowledgeable in interesting and
lesser-known novels fit for particular tastes, my liege. Do not fear asking me for a
recommendation”

Zhongli gave Xingqiu a confused look but took the book from him nonetheless. “I appreciate your
references,” Zhongli said as he studied the cover, “but I do not know if this is what I am looking
for.”

“Then what are you looking for?”

Zhongli averted his gaze for a moment and Xingqiu let out a small chuckle. “Thus solidifying my
theory. You do not know,” he said with an elegant wave of his hand before Zhongli could speak.
“Don’t worry, I have had those moments myself, my liege. I believe finding something by accident
is better at quenching the thirst of specific literary cravings then spending hours finding what you
think you need. I’m afraid I must take my leave now. Have a lovely rest of your day, Zhongli!”

“Take care, Xingqiu.”

The entire exchange left him a little confused, but what left him even more confused was how
Jifang kept silent and was avoiding his gaze while she checked the volume out to him.

___

Zhongli sat at his desk studying the peculiar book recommended to him earlier. It was a red
leather-bound, not terribly thick in page count but not light either. The title was a simple gold font
that shone under the lamp above it.

“Folds of Torn Fabric” read the cover. There was no illustration. What a peculiar name, he thought
to himself.

Zhongli flipped through the pages with his thumb, listening to the soft rustle under his hand before
skimming through the first chapter, not minding to fully take in every word and read every
sentence as his eyes darted from page to page. He didn’t have much time after all. It was already
getting quite late and he had much work to be done in the morning.

He lazily flipped to the next chapter. This was nothing short of a trashy romance novel, he decided.
The setup was long overdone and the pair bland and uninteresting. He supposed Xingqiu had given
him the wrong book by mistake, surely his taste far exceeded whatever this is. Or perhaps it was
the literary masterpiece of the modern-day and he was spoiled with luxuries. Zhongli hummed a
little at that thought before quickly going to the next chapter. If it wasn’t getting interesting soon,
he would simply have to return it in the morning-

Hold on… what did he just see in the pages? Surely he misread that. He eyed the sentence again as
he took the time to read it in its entirety.

A sweet moan filled the steadily heating room as warm lips encapsulated the blossom of his
weeping cock which was peeking behind frills of pink lace.

Ah. He didn’t misread that. What… strange literary tastes Xingqiu did have. Mayhaps intercourse
wasn’t as privately discussed as he initially thought.

His eyes wandered to the next sentence without himself having any say in the matter.

Wang Lei gasped as the tongue of his partner swirled in a beautiful symphony around his arousal.
Blue eyes as deep as the sea gazed into his own, shining in the glaze of lust that clouded his-

Zhongli quickly closed the book with a sharp exhale and set it aside before staring blankly at the
wall. He buried his hands in his hair and breathed out a slow, steady breath. He would set it aside
and subtly give it back to his friend tomorrow, he decided. He would declare that he had too much
work to do to read it and wanted him to hold onto it and rethink his recommendations until his
schedule lightened. Yes… that is what he would do.

So why were his hands opening it up again and his eyes looking down at the random page he
flipped to?

“Jiao,” the other moaned as fingers buried in his hair, “to be this close… to be this sensual with
the one I love, no greater joy could fill my heart!”

Wang Lei’s eyes fluttered as lips fell down onto his neck and sucked lightly before laying kisses as
hips flushed against his reddened, kneaded buttocks, filling him to the brink as he continued to
breathe sweet sounds from spent lips. “And as I,” Jiao sighed as he laid down another roll of his
hips. “I cannot begin to describe the pleasure your soul and body brings to mine!”

This was strange, Zhongli decided. Why was he reading this again?

Eyes fluttered… He wondered if they fluttered the same way Childe’s did that night.

Moans and gasps continued to fill their ears to the brim. Their bodies were a boiling kettle, slowly
filling with steam before it exploded in heat and ecstasy as they writhed in each other’s pleasure.
Jiao sank his teeth down into his lover’s pale shoulder as he pulled the silk blouse aside, earning a
beautiful sound that only excited his physicality furthermore as the muscles around his aching
arousal spasmed.

Were they… Was that something normally done in intercourse? Did it really feel good to have
something like that… in there?

So his thoughts before weren’t too out of the ordinary. Zhongli felt a strange wave of arousal
mixed with relief wash through him.

Zhongli wondered what it felt like. It sounded far from something he would want to do himself and
he knew he would quickly reject any request to be… filled… as described in this… erotica, he
supposed it was. But, the thought of the pleasure Childe must feel if he were to be stuffed with his
own length… Why was he thinking of Childe at such a strange time?

He wondered what it would feel like to have walls spasm around his own cock like they did on his
fingers that time.

Zhongli looked downwards and saw a tent in his pants. This would be the time when he would run
a warm shower to relax his mind and wait it out, but now that Childe had already crept his way into
his thoughts…

“When you’re alone and need to be touched, you do it like this, okay?”

Childe’s few spoken words were pounding through his mind as he undid the fastens of his trousers.
He supposed it wouldn’t hurt to try.

His heart thudded in his chest as he pulled his half-hard cock out from his pants. He spat on his
dominant hand the way he was instructed to before, held his member up with a soft grip, then
began to slowly stroke it up and down.

It felt different than how Childe did it. Compared to the sensations he felt that night, he could
barely feel a thing. The thought of how much better it would be if Childe was doing this to him
sent a light wave of heat through his body as he looked back down onto the page.

"It feels amazing,” Jiao moaned as he thrust in deeper inside of the writing boy underneath him.
Wang Lei’s eyes hid under his painted lids as he leaned his head back in a soft cry. “Every inch of
you is brimming with sheer perfection, my love.”

“I feel amazing as well,” Wang Lei sighed as he turned his head to meet the melting gaze of his
lover. “The closeness I feel to you now, the intimacy you are blessing me with fills my being with
heat strong enough to burn thousands of lanterns.”

Zhongli decided he quite liked the words Childe said to him compared to the love-filled
declarations of the two characters. What would Childe say if he was… If they were…

He would shut up, he decided. The smugness in his voice would fade and he would moan with the
same wantonness as before if not lewder than that. And as of the things he would say…

“Zhongli Xiansheng,” he could almost hear gasping underneath him as he pumped himself faster,
“you’re filling me so much! It feels so good, Xiansheng, so good!”

Zhongli clasped his free hand over his mouth to muffle a groan as he imagined sinking his own
teeth into Childe’s skin while he said that, staining the perfectly smooth freckled paleness with a
deep red and purple bruise while he claimed him. He would thrust into him as harshly as he was
thrusting into his hand now, being sure to fill every inch of him with his being while he played and
toyed with that round and sculpted ass.

He could almost still feel it on his fingers, how it tightened the closer Childe got to his orgasm as
he curled his fingers against his sweet spot and deliciously fucked it while the body under him
blubbered praises and pleas. He would earn more of those delectable sounds-

He heard a knock at the door and he froze in place.

After processing what he just heard, he quickly tucked his dick that was softening at an incredible
speed in panic into his pants before stuffing the book in the closest drawer. What time was it? Who
could possibly at this hour-

Oh.

How on Earth could he forget?

“Xiansheng,” a muffled voice sang from a few rooms down, “can I go ahead and come in? I don’t
want to be waiting on you forever.”
It was nine o’clock. They agreed to meet at his place at nine o’clock when they said their
goodbyes. How could he possibly forget?!

Zhongli bounced off of his chair and smoothed himself out before striding to the door. He let out a
small exhale to collect himself before opening the door.

“My apologies,” he said smoothly as he met eyes with the smiling man before him. Bless the
composure he trained himself to gain over thousands of years. “I was caught up in work for a
moment. I pray I didn’t keep you waiting for long.”

“No worries at all,” Childe sang as he strode inside without being invited in. “Nice place you
have,” he hummed. “I didn’t expect you to be so modest, but it’s charming.”

“I live comfortably thanks to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor,” Zhongli said simply. “Please, make
yourself at home.”

Childe waltzed into his bedroom through the open door like that in itself was an invitation and
plopped down on the bed. “So neat and tidy,” Childe sang as he bounded on it a little. “Even your
duvet is tucked in, Xiansheng! I think you’re the first I’ve seen do that.” Zhongli wordlessly made
his way into the bedroom as well. Childe eyed the open drawer and lifted a brow. “But maybe you
cleaned in a hurry for me? Though I’ve never taken you as a messy person.”

Zhongli bit the inside of his mouth. “I was in a hurry to put my work out of sight,” he said coolly.
The fact that his sentence sounded too much like an excuse sent a small twinge of paranoia in his
gut.

“Your fly is undone, Xiansheng.”

Zhongli looked down, flushed a little, and turned around to compose himself. Childe laughed
loudly at this, tossing his head back and holding his sides.

“My apologies,” Zhongli mumbled as he walked to his desk to close the drawer. He wanted to say
something else but couldn’t find the words. Childe’s laugh faded into a chuckle.

“Ah, don’t be embarrassed, Xiansheng,” he smiled. “We’re meeting to do much more

embarrassing things, aren’t we?”

Zhongli stuttered his movements. “Is that why you wished to see me again?”

“I mean… Wasn’t it obvious? We’re basically friends with benefits now, aren’t we?”

Zhongli tilted his head.

“Figure out what that means on your own.”

Zhongli nodded slowly as he considered the implications. “I suppose that is an appropriate title to
our relationship,” he said simply.

Childe hummed in response and kicked his feet against the floor. “Waiting around doesn’t really
do either of us good does it,” he sang sweetly. “Do you wanna come here? I have a few things in
mind I’d like to teach you, Xiansheng.”

Zhongli gave Childe a slow nod and made his way towards the bed. “I wasn’t aware that you
planned our activities, Childe,” he said coolly. “What sort of things did you have in mind?”
“Well,” Childe began far too casually, “I’ve been thinking of what that monster you have tucked
away would feel like inside me since our last little meeting.” Childe hopped off of the bed and
waltzed towards a frozen Zhongli who was flushing at the implications of his words, getting quite
close to his face as a graceful hand moved to untuck and play with the end of his tie. “You’ve kept
me waiting for a little too long for my liking,” he continued in a conversational tone. “Let’s skip
the formalities and get to the good stuff, hmm?”

“In you?” Zhongli asked, sounding more meak than he intended.

“I said I would ride you last time Xiansheng, and I am one to keep my promises. Or is that
something you don’t really want to do?”

“I would not be opposed,” he nodded, despite having no clue what in the Gods’ great world that
must mean.

With that spoken permission, Childe dove his lips against Zhongli’s own while his hands made
steady work of undoing his tie. Zhongli pressed back into the kiss, running his fingers through
Childe’s hair with gloved hands as he felt his coat slide off of his shoulders and fall to the ground.

It was getting easier to find the rhythm. Childe gave him a satisfied moan as he experimentally slid
a tongue into Zhongli’s mouth which he eagerly accepted as he swirled his own around it and
pressed in deeper.

“You’re getting better,” Childe breathed in between smacks of their lips. Zhongli hummed in
confirmation to his praise, opening his mouth wider when the tongue invaded his mouth deeper,
exploring and dancing as the kiss steadily grew. Zhongli could hear Childe’s breathing become
heavier and the wetness of saliva dripping into each other's mouths. That alone was enough to
make his mind start to blank.

“I have work tomorrow,” Zhongli said when they broke contact for a moment, breathing each work
in between attacks on his lips. “I’m afraid… I cannot… take too long.”

Childe leaned away from him after giving his lips one last peck. His arms were wrapped around his
neck. “Do you not want to?”

“I do,” Zhongli confirmed. Childe let out a small chuckle.

“I’m not against a quickie,” Childe hummed as he reached his hands down and began to undo the
fastens of his pants. “Go ahead and sit down. I didn’t want to waste much time, either.”

Zhongli did as he was instructed while Childe stepped out of his pants with ease like he had been
practicing the action before he entered the bedroom. Before Zhongli could get a good look at his
gorgeously sculpted legs, Childe sat in front of the bed on his knees, settling between Zhongli’s
own as he fumbled with the fastens of his belt.

“I’ll prepare both of us,” Childe smiled as he slowly pulled Zhongli’s fly back down and undid the
constricting fabric. “Watch how I stretch myself out while I get you hard again, Xiansheng.”

“Again?”

Childe chuckled as he slid the belt aside and began to unbutton the bottom of Zhongli’s tucked-in
dress shirt to get to his destination. “I had a pretty solid guess when I saw how flushed you looked
and that pretty questionable porno in your drawer,” Childe grinned. “And… you were tenting just a
little when you came to the door. Must be hard having such a big cock when it comes to hiding
how turned on you are, huh?”
Zhongli flushed in embarrassment, confirming Childe’s suspicions. He laughed again. “I’m not
judgemental, Zhongli,” Childe hummed. “I’m just happy that you couldn’t wait to see me.”

Childe pulled Zhongli’s cock from the constraints of his pants and slid down his own boxers off
his legs. “I didn’t know you were into crossdressing and feminization, Xiansheng,” Childe smiled
as he gripped the base of Zhongli’s slowly hardening arousal. “Did you want to see me in a dress
and some cute panties and call me your good girl?”

“W-What?”

“Since that’s what you were jerking off to,” Childe hummed. “I don’t mind, Xiansheng. It
probably could be fun, though I’ve never tried it before. I would like to experiment with whatever
you’re into if it’ll make you have more fun.”

Zhongli looked down at him confused. “I wasn’t aware that the novel had… such elements,” he
mumbled. He wasn’t even aware such things were practiced.

“Did you not read that far?”

“I hardly skimmed through the beginning.” His heart was pounding in his chest again. For reasons
he didn’t understand, he was using all his might to keep his composure together.

Childe let out a small hum in the back of his throat before he took off his gloves, spat on his
fingers, and reached behind him. “Then you don’t want to see me dress up in something pretty for
you, Xiansheng?” Childe maintained eye contact with him as he gave the tip of his cock a light and
feathery kiss. Zhongli shuddered under the touch and stifled a moan. “Lingerie, a skirt and panties,
bondage… Don’t you think I’d look good? Again, I don’t mind at all.”

“Don’t you need lube?” Zhongli asked instead of answering the question.

“I actually came prepared, just making sure I’m as nice and loose as I need to be.”

Zhongli let out a small moan at that statement and let it grow in volume when Childe began to lay
down deeper kisses against the head of his cock. Just imagining Childe stuffing fingers inside of
himself while thinking of Zhongli driving his cock inside of him was making his head swim. “You
didn’t answer my question, Xiansheng,” Childe smirked before he licked around the tip, allowing
himself to drool over it while Zhongli gasped above him. “What sorts of things did you imagine me
doing for you?”

The cockiness in his voice was surfacing again. Zhongli felt a small twinge of annoyance settle in
his gut. He groaned when Childe sank down a quarter’s way, licking around his shaft and sucking
gently. Zhongli’s head fell back a little when he went down deeper, settling for a second before
popping off with an annoying smirk.

“So quiet,” Childe sang. “You don’t want to talk about it? Or are you too nervous to?” His smirk
was beyond irritating as he continued to teasingly lick the sides of his cock. “Don’t be scared,
Xiansheng. You can tell me anything you want to do. I’m your teacher after all, aren’t I?” Again
with Childe talking to him like he was a baby. He grunted out another moan when Childe sunk
down halfway on his cock and slowly bobbed his head. It was taking all of his self-control to not
start fucking his mouth.

“I should like to silence you since you’re asking,” Zhongli growled without thinking.

A small voice was reminding him in the back of his head that the attitude he just showed Childe
was far out of line and disrespectful, but in the moment, he couldn’t care less. Childe’s face
flickered a little, smugness fading out of his eyes while his face was stuffed with cock for a
victorious second before that damned smirk crossed his face again and he pulled back.

“Oh,” he cooed. “Silence me? I hardly think you’re ready for that.” Childe licked a slow stripe
from the base to the tip as soft squelching sounds arose from behind him as fingers began to pump
inside of his hole. “I don’t think you could handle me quite yet if that’s the direction we’re taking,
Xiansheng. Maybe… ah… after a little more practice you can try.”

Zhongli remained silent to keep himself from saying anything more and Childe chuckled.

“You’re so cute,” Childe smiled as he watched annoyance settle even deeper within Zhongli. “As
much as I’d love to spar for control sometime, you’re just not ready yet. I’d have too much of an
advantage, especially knowing I can make you shut up so easily.”

“But you’d love to spar for control?”

Childe hummed in confirmation. Zhongli was now almost fully hard in front of him and the fingers
buried inside of him were making Childe bite his lip so as to not release any embarrassing sounds
so early. “You should try throwing me on the bed and lifting my ass in the air sometime,” Childe
smiled. “I’ve imagined how good your cock must feel like if you fucked me like that-”

Without warning, Zhongli firmly pulled Childe away from his cock by his shoulders, grabbed him
firmly by the arm, pulling his fingers out of him, and threw him against the bed in one swift
movement. Childe let out a sharp gasp of surprise at the action that morphed into a whimper when
he was firmly turned over and strong hands grabbed his waist and lifted his bare ass up.

“Like that?” Zhongli asked calmly as he eyed the puckering, stretched hole before him. It was
tempting. It was incredibly tempting.

“Zhongli, I know I said I wanted that, but a warning would’ve been nice,” Childe gasped
breathlessly.

“My apologies,” Zhongli sighed. His eyes were still glued on the winking entrance that was
practically begging to be invaded. “I am getting a bit carried away through my excitement.”

“You’re fine, just tell me before you do that again. And… ah…” Childe trailed off when Zhongli
kneaded his cheeks with his bare hands, pressing his fingers down harshly as Childe began to
shake.

“Do you still want to continue with your fantasy?” Zhongli asked. He internally praised himself for
sounding so collected despite his thudding heart and every inch of his body screaming at him to
ruthlessly fuck into the body before him.

“I do, but I need to be lubed and stretched a little more,” Childe said, voice cracking when fingers
pressed down harder. “Maybe you can help out?”

“You’d like to be fingered by me, Childe?” It was steadily getting easier to say such dirty things
the further down the drain his mind went. Childe moaned lightly at those words.

“Zhongli… have you heard of rimming?”

“I am unfamiliar.”

“So…” Childe shifted a little and allowed his arms to rest under his head and his knees spread a
little more. “You’ll do exactly what you do with your fingers but with your tongue.”
Zhongli blinked.

“Only if you’re okay with that.”

“Do you wish for me to… rim you as you put it with the entirety of my tongue’s length?”

“How else would you,” Childe asked confused.

“Childe,” Zhongli began slowly, “are you sure that’s what you want? I have a feeling that it may
be… a little much.”

“If I’m asking, then I want it,” Childe smiled at the adorableness in Zhongli’s seemingly
unweighted concern. “Trust me, it’s okay. Are you okay with it?”

“I am willing to try.”

Childe lifted his ass a little higher in silent permission. “Then… go ahead.”

Zhongli hesitantly lifted his head down against Childe’s ass, then extended his tongue out to give
the rim a few licks around. Childe shuddered underneath him and let out a delicious moan.

“Yeah, just like that,” Childe breathed. “Don’t tease, we’re in a little rush, after all. Go ahead and
push it inside- AH!”

Zhongli buried his head in between the cheeks of Childe’s ass and sank his tongue all the way
inside. It tasted horrid in all honesty, but for Childe, he didn’t mind. The lewdness of this action
and the feeling of muscles clenching around his tongue were enough to drown out the taste. He
focused on wetting it as he swirled his tongue around in circles and flicked his insides with the tip.

“Zhongli!” Childe cried as he gripped the bedsheets, “W-what is that?! Ah! H-how is it, ah! Ah,
fuck! I-it’s so deep! How is it so deep?!”

Zhongli pulled away while Childe whimpered at the emptiness. “Why do you ask,” Zhongli asked
confused. Childe looked at him over his shoulder with wide eyes, pupils blown and face a deep
shade of red as he huffed breaths through his open mouth.

“L-let me see your tongue,” Childe stuttered. Upon his request, Zhongli opened his mouth and
stuck it out while Childe’s eyes trailed down all the way to his collarbones as his eyes trailed to its
end.

“Th-that’s no human tongue,” Childe stuttered. “W-why is it… so long?”

“Ah, is it,” Zhongli sighed. “My apologies, I was unsure how human interiors looked so I kept
many things the same as my old form. I’m quite concerned about how strange it is compared to
normal human ones.”

Childe stumbled over his words. “H-how did I not notice when I was kissing you?!”

“It can expand in length as can many reptilian ones do. I only recently discovered its an
abnormality when researching human anatomy and plan to change it soon-”

“Don’t you dare,” Childe said quickly. “Fuck me with it again, right now.”

Zhongli pondered his response then shrugged casually. “As you wish.”

Zhongli leaned back into Childe’s ass and slowly sank his tongue back inside. Childe shook
underneath him and cried out when it brushed against his prostate whose location he had no trouble
finding again.

“Fuck, Zhongli!” Childe sobbed into his arms, “it feels so- ah! I’m going to cum early if you- ah!
Ah, fuck! If you… do it like that, I’ll cum early! It’s so good! H-how are you doing it so good?!”

Zhongli could only hum in the back of his throat as he sank down his tongue deeper inside of
Childe while he screamed into his arms to muffle his cries. Zhongli then experimentally snuck a
hand around to Childe’s leaking cock and stroked him slowly, earning a high and loud moan from
the other.

“Zhongli!” he trembled. “Zhongli, fuck it feels so good! You’re so deep, oh archons it’s so deep!”

Zhongli wondered how much he would be crying about how deep he was if… Fuck, he couldn’t
wait. He hadn’t another ounce of patience.

Zhongli pulled his mouth and tongue back and hand away at those words and settled himself above
Childe. “W-why did you stop,” Childe whimpered. “Don’t stop! I was so close-”

“Do you have protection on hand?”

When the words settled in him, Childe immediately perked up and rummaged through the pocket
of the shirt and pulled out a condom before hastily shoving it into his hands. “Hurry,” Childe
demanded. “You better make it up to me, stopping so soon like that.”

Zhongli tore the packaging off and began to roll on the condom over himself. He paused with a
pained hiss and began to struggle. “What is it,” Childe asked as he looked back. Zhongli looked
back at him, condom half rolled on and ruthlessly squeezing his fully hard cock, then gave a small
laugh.

“It’s too small.”

Childe paused as he processed his words then began to laugh too. “Fucking damn it!” he
exclaimed. “I knew I should’ve gotten the extra-large ones! Can you still do it?”

“I fear it may break,” he sighed. “We’ll have to save such activities for next time.”

“I don’t want it to break… fuck! That sucks.”

Zhongli began to roll it back off, struggling for a few seconds before removing it completely and
tossing it aside. They sat in silence for a moment.

“Um…” Childe began, “can you… keep doing what you were doing before?”

“Sure. My apologies, I should have prepared myself.”

“You’re fine. I’ll be sure to bring some… yeah. Can you… just…” Childe moved his ass back and
up in a silent question and Zhongli nodded.

Zhongli pressed his mouth back down and slid his tongue in again, earning another whine from the
other. “Ah, Zhongli!” Childe moaned as he ground his hips back against his face. “It’s so w-warm
and wet… It’s filling me up so much! I can’t wait to be able to feel your cock next time, ah!”

Zhongli held his erection in his hands and began to furiously pump himself at those words. He
groaned into Childe as pressed his tongue against his prostate, making Childe scream into the
mattress and grip the sheets tighter. The squelching and smacking of his mouth swirling and
sucking around Childe’s spasming hole was making heat rush to his cock that was throbbing in his
hand as he tightened his grip and stroked himself faster.

“A-are you jerking off,” Childe gasped as he looked back over his blushing shoulder. “F-fuck,
Xiansheng, I can’t stand it! It’s so good, fuck it’s so good, but it’s not nearly enough…”

Zhongli growled in response as he felt himself begin to leak over his hands. He reached another
hand to pump Childe in time, earning a sharp cry and tremble of his legs as he melted against the
bed. He continued to press and rub that spot before leaning his head back after a while of repetitive
action and recoil his tongue out before moving it back inside in steady time. This made Childe
shake furiously and cry, actually cry, tears poking at the corners of his eyes as he sobbed into the
mattress.

“You’re- fuh… ah! Ah, Zhongli! You’re f-fucking me with your- ah! D-do it harder, please!”

Zhongli smiled to himself at Childe’s pleas and pressed his mouth deeper inside of him, earning a
high and loud whine. Zhongli felt himself reach that familiar feeling of heat so hot he couldn’t
stand it as it swirled in his gut and filled him to the brim, making him feel like he was going to
explode as Childe twitched under his other hand when he stroked him faster.

“I’m gonna cum!” Childe cried. “I’m gonna cum, Zhongli!”

Those words sent Zhongli over the edge as he came sharply in his hand, moaning into Childe’s ass
as he spilled all over himself and was sent soaring in ecstasy as white-hot pleasure shot through
every nerve in his body. Childe followed suit not long after, shooting into his other hand as he
moaned a long and high sound and shook while Zhongli’s tongue stayed buried inside of him.

Zhongli pulled out and flopped down on the bed next to Childe who relaxed as was now lying on
his stomach, heaving breaths and shaking still as he came down from his high. After a while of
regaining himself and coming back to reality, he eyed the clock on the wall and sighed a long
breath.

“This wasn’t much of a ‘quickie’ as you put it,” Zhongli stated casually as he leaned up to tuck his
cock back in his pants and rub drool off of his chin with his still clean wrist. “It’s much later than I
anticipated this lasting.”

“I was having too much fun to think about that,” Childe hummed. “It is late, isn’t it? Can I stay
over?”

Zhongli pondered the question. “If you can, sure,” he decided. “Though, I worry that if you didn’t
plan on sleeping here tonight-”

“Don’t worry,” Childe smiled. “It’s just to crash.”

“I’m afraid I do not have a guest room, I apologize for my lack of hospitality.”

Childe went quiet for a moment then sighed. “You don’t want to sleep in the same bed, huh,” he
mumbled to himself. Zhongli tilted his head.

“Is that a common occurrence for those who engage in casual sexual activities,” he asked. Childe
shrugged.

“I mean, if you don’t want to, that’s… fine.”

Zhongli studied Childe’s slightly hurt expression. “It’s alright with me,” Zhongli decided. Childe
instantly perked up with a smile.

“Okay,” he grinned. “Where’s your bathroom? I need to wash up.”

“I’ll lead you to it. I must prepare for bed, anyway.”

___

“Don’t you wanna join me?”

Childe was soaking in a bath of essential oils, Epsom salts, and muscle soothing herbs Zhongli
prepared for him while he was furiously trying to brush the bitter taste of ass off of his tongue,
extending it out completely into the air as he scrubbed it with his toothbrush with his eyebrows
furrowed while Childe watched it with a smile that said too many unspoken things.

“My apologies, I have already bathed,” Zhongli said simply before he swished his mouth with
water and spat it in the sink. Childe huffed.

“Didn’t you get sweaty?”

“The act wasn’t physically exhausting for me, so no. My mortal form holds more stamina than that
normal humans are capable of.”

“Then you’re up for round two in the tub, right~?”

Zhongli shook his head at the offer. “I would like to get to sleep soon. It’s rather late and I mustn’t
be late for work.”

Childe pouted while Zhongli washed his hands for a third time just to be completely sure he got all
the cum off of them. “I’m so lonely,” Childe whined dramatically. “All this tub and no Zhongli to
keep me company- h-hey, what are you doing?!”

Zhongli slid his dress shirt off of his shoulders and started undoing his pants. “I thought you
wanted me to join you since you were lonely,” Zhongli said matter-of-factly.

“That was a joke! You don’t have to just strip!”

Zhongli stopped his movements. “Then you don’t wish for us to bathe together?”

Childe huffed and looked to the side. “I do,” he sighed. “Come here.”

Zhongli stepped out of his clothing and ignored Childe’s eyes locked on his flaccid cock as he
stepped in the other side of the tub. Wordlessly, Childe shifted his position, turning around so he
was no longer facing Zhongli but resting his back against his chest and resting his head on his
shoulder. He grabbed Zhongli’s arms and wrapped them around his chest, nuzzling into the touch
and closing his eyes.

“Do you require physical affection such as this after intercourse?” Zhongli asked. Childe tsked in
response.

“I just like it,” he said shortly. Zhongli left it at that.

They stayed like that in silence as Zhongli studied how Childe’s breathing sounded so light and
peaceful against his chest and how his heart felt as it steadily beat under his hands. Without
thinking, his own breathing slowed to the rhythm of Childe’s as his limbs grew heavy and glued
against the body against his.

“Zhongli,” Childe then said, breaking the silence in the air, “I’m actually pretty interested in
learning more about the archon war sometime. We should take a walk or something and you tell
me more about it.”

Zhongli’s heart leaped and danced around at Childe’s interest.

“What would you like to know,” he asked quietly as to not disturb the peace despite the excitement
he felt. “I can tell you anything now.” He didn’t even bother to question the sudden interest, he was
far too happy to actually talk about it to care.

“Where did the Gods that fell go,” Childe asked while lazily tracing circles across Zhongli’s arm.
“And what of their possessions? Surely it’s not all destroyed, right? I’m interested in learning more
about Liyue history and you’re the best person to learn from.”

“Well,” he gleefully began, “The fallen Gods stir in the ground below our feet. While they have
died, their immortal and vengeful souls stay alive and pollute all that is pure, but that is trouble for
the Adepti to deal for our comfort…”

Zhongli lost track of the time as he talked on and on, losing himself in his monologues while
Childe patiently listened with the occasional question about locations and details. It must have
been hours before the water went cold and Childe asked if they could move to the bedroom.

The two men made their way to the bed while Zhongli talked on and Childe listened intently as
they tucked themselves under the covers and Childe settled back onto Zhongli’s chest. It took
much longer for Zhongli to realize the body curled on top of his was fast asleep and he was
lecturing to no one now. He looked back up to the clock.

Five thirty. The light of morning was starting to pour into the windows and the birds were
beginning to chip. He hardly noticed. Oh, who needs sleep, anyway?

Zhongli lightly kissed the top of the mess of hair below his nose and lightly scratched and
massaged Childe’s back until he carefully moved from underneath him and left him steadily
sleeping. Zhongli wrote an apology note for having to leave so early for work and a kit to make
breakfast tea in the kitchen before taking his leave.

___

Zhongli strolled through the bookhouse again, eyeing the different covers that had made their way
to the shelves. As of this afternoon, he wasn’t looking for anything in particular, simply browsing
in hopes of finding-

“Z-Zhongli! Ah, what a pleasure- ehe… um, surprise to see you here!”

Xingqiu had a forced smile and flushed face as he quickly made his way towards him. “A-about
the book I gave you,” he said quickly, “I gave you the wrong one by accident and I-I can’t
apologize enough! I am sincerely sorry, so, so sorry! I-I meant to give you ‘Tales Of The Temple
Between Land And Sea’! I-in fact… I-I didn’t even mean to pick up that book! N-not at all! I-It’s
not like I read that sort of- I s-swear that… I’m so, so sorry, Zhongli!”

Zhongli nodded in understanding and gave him a comforting smile.

“There is no problem, Xingqiu. I actually didn’t get the time to start reading,” Zhongli said calmly.
Xingqiu’s worried face immediately relaxed and he let out a relieved sigh. “What a coincidence, I
 actually brought it with me. Here you are.” It was no coincidence at all, Zhongli felt Xingqiu knew
that deep down, but the relief on his face was enough. Zhongli handed the book to Xingqiu who
accepted it quickly.

“Thank you,” Xingqiu exclaimed with enthusiasm with a long bow of appreciation. “I promise to
not make the same mistake twice. Here!” In return, Xingqiu handed him the book he meant to give
him, whose cover and binding was almost identical to the previous one. “They both look far too
similar, don’t they? Aha… Please pardon my mistake.”

“What is there to pardon? It was a simple confusion, that is all. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

Xingqiu opened his mouth to make another comment but visibly decided against it. “Thank you,
Zhongli,” he said again with another bow. “Please tell me what you think of the correct novel
when you are done reading it. I must apologize again.”

Zhongli gave another soft smile to the still bowing young man. “Lift your head up Xingqiu, there is
nothing to be sorry or thankful for,” he smiled. “It was a simple mistake is all. Thank you for the
recommendation.”

“Of course, Zhongli! I-I hope to see you again soon! Take care and so long!”

Zhongli turned around to a very dumbfounded Jifang staring at Xingqiu as he took his quick and
hasty leave with the book still in his hands and a deep blush across his face.

Chapter End Notes

Poor Jifang. :(

I saw some fanart of Zhongli with the dragon tongue and couldn’t resist. Bitches be
horny for long tongue big dong Zhong and it shows, I am bitches.

Thank you so much for reading by the way! I’m so happy that I can share my writing
even if it’s porn with people who enjoy it. Your hits and kudos make my day. :)
 It’s Just An Artform Waiting To Be Mastered
Chapter Summary

Zhongli tries to teach himself the masterful art of dirty talking and how to say filthy
words in hopes of making intercourse more ‘hot’ as younger people put it for his…
well… he doesn’t fully understand the details of what they are, to be honest. Or:
Childe rides Zhongli like a cowgirl on a racing horse.

Chapter Notes

The plot thickens a little in this chapter so get ready. And by plot thickens I mean
Zhongli is dense asf, doesn’t understand emotions, and is just socially stupid. He also
is super thirsty for Childe in this chapter, but aren’t we all?

Also, laughing so hard you’re not making any noises except snorts and wheezes with
your loved one superiority.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

To his shame, Zhongli found himself shopping for more erotica after reading the one Xingqiu
accidentally lent him.

To be fair, it was a rather efficient way to learn more about the art of sex and what to do to please
another during it as it was bloomed directly from someone’s fantasies. The problem was finding
one that he liked and buying it discreetly. He thought about reading some that caught his eye in the
bookhouse so he wouldn’t have to have to feel that shame, but he couldn’t risk being seen by
someone he knew, or anyone for that matter who recodnised the title and would look at him
differently. He couldn’t help but to feel dirty.

There wasn’t that much of a selection in the bookhouse, either. Even if there was, he could barely
look through the adult section in the first place without fearing for judgemental eyes on him. So,
for now, he was aimlessly walking down the steps leading to the bookhouse after checking out
some random history book he thought looked a little interesting despite being sure he knew
everything it entailed already anyway for childish fear of his lingering without purchase.

He looked up from the steps, then made eye contact. He gave a soft smile.

“Xingqiu. So we meet again.”

“Hello, Zhongli!” the younger man beamed. A bag full of novels to return was slung over his
shoulder. “Could it be you’re spending more time in the bookhouse? It shall be commonplace for
us to run into each other often if that’s the case.”

“I suppose it is,” Zhongli responded. “Ah, speaking of meeting again, I should return the book you
lent me.”
Xingqiu perked up and smiled widely at those words. “Did you actually read it?! What were your
thoughts?” He then paused, cleared his throat, and stood a little taller. “My apologies… I tend to
get excited over these things.”

“Why do you apologize when you have done nothing wrong?” Xingqiu shuffled his feet and
looked down and away a little. “I quite enjoyed the novel,” Zhongli continued. “It was a pleasure
to read and kept me occupied during my usually dull leisure hours of work.”

“You… really… actually read it?”

“But of course. You have exquisite tastes in books, but I would expect no less.”

Zhongli could have sworn a light blush crossed his nose, but perhaps it was a sunburn he just now
noticed. “I’m glad you liked it,” Xingqiu smiled softly. “Most people I recommend novels to don’t
mind me the time of day. I’m truly glad you enjoyed it.”

“I most certainly did,” Zhongli responded with a smile of his own. “Perhaps you wouldn’t mind
recommending me more?”

Xingqiu furiously shuffled through his bag and pulled out two more novels, studying their titles
and cover carefully before deciding they were the right ones and handing them to Zhongli. “I was
going to return these, but it can wait. I highly recommend both of them. They are of the same genre
but their writing styles and themes are vastly unique. I will not say more than that for fear of
spoiling them.”

Zhongli accepted the novels with a thankful nod. “Thank you, Xingqiu,” he smiled. “Oh, you
wouldn’t happen to know if there are other book stores nearby, would you?” You wouldn’t happen
to know where I could buy erotica without feeling the shame of my reputation being ruined, would
you?

“There are many smaller sellers I know of in Liyue I would be more than happy to get you in
contact with,” the younger man beamed as he stepped to the side to let a customer go up the stairs.
“Would you maybe… like to sit down somewhere and talk?”

“I would not mind. I am free at the moment.”

Xingqiu beamed at him before leading him to a small, shaded, and cozy sitting area closeby to the
bookhouse. There, he sketched out a small and not masterfully drawn map and marked down
different book store locations and gave him names of sellers. When the sky began to grow warm
and Zhongli was invited to dinner at the Wamin restaurant, he was forced to decline as he had prior
commitments for the night.

Xingqiu’s face fell slightly, and Zhongli couldn’t help but feel a little bad. “I apologize,” he said.
“Our schedules don’t agree this evening, but perhaps another time we could.” Instantly his face lit
back up. “I can return all three books then.”

“Keep them.”

Zhongli blinked. “What?”

“Keep them,” Xingqiu repeated with a smile. “It means a lot that someone is sharing my passion
with me, plus I have several different versions of them already at home. And, the fact that you
actually listen to me and talk to me as if we are both just people and not… um… nevermind.
Forget I said anything. Just keep them.”
Zhongli bowed his head a little. “Thank you, Xingqiu,” he smiled. “I will be glad to reread the
books you’ve given me. Take care.”

The sunburn on Xingqiu’s nose, ears, and cheeks was a little redder than he remembered it being.
He thought about referring him to Baizhu to treat it, but decided against it.

___

The Xinyue Kiosk has a three month waiting list, but Childe brushed off this obstacle with a wave
of his hand and purchase that wasn’t detrimental to this wallet in the slightest when Zhongli
mentioned how he preferred that particular restaurant when Xianling wasn’t cooking. The two men
sat there now, eating and making idle chatter.

“How long do you plan on staying in Liyue,” Zhongli asked as he took a bite of his meal. Childe
fiddled with his chopsticks, eyebrows furrowed and obviously struggling.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled as his rice slipped between the two sticks when they folded over each
other. He let out a frustrated huff. “I just have to get this thing done and I’ll be sent back.
Hopefully it’ll take a while.”

Zhongli knew he meant assignment and chose to not ask any more questions. “It’s not like I won’t
visit, though,” he reminded with a grin. “No need to worry about how long I’ll be here. I think
you’ll miss me too much for me to leave for good.”

“I would only have to come to Snezhnaya in that case.”

Childe laughed as he visibly gave up on using the chopsticks correctly and instead poked his fish
with them and ate them like a skewer. “The name Snezhnaya actually means ‘snowy’,” Childe said
with a smile. “I don’t think you’d like it very much compared to how hot it is here.”

“Did you struggle with the transition?”

“Not as much as I’m struggling with these chopsticks.”

“You’re not holding them correctly and that is why you’re having a hard time,” Zhongli said
gently. He reached out to hold both of Childe’s hands and earned a sharp blush from the other. “Put
your ring and pinkie finger underneath the bottom one,” he instructed as he moved Childe’s hands
in place, “and your middle underneath the top one while your index rests above it. There you are.
Now, rest your thumb on the side of the upper chopstick and move your index and middle fingers
to control them.”

Childe silently held the chopsticks in place when Zhongli let go of his hands and reached out to
grab another piece of fish. He cheered a loud “aha!” that made a few people turn a foul gaze their
way when he held it for a second. His expression fell when it slipped and fell back onto the plate
and Zhongli laughed. He laughed a loud, warm, genuine laugh he was sure he didn’t bellow in
hundreds of years. Childe began to laugh too, slow and steady before it grew so hard that he wasn’t
making a sound anymore, just lightly hitting against the table and wheezing breaths.

“So what did you do today?” Childe asked when he calmed down. Zhongli drank some water to
soothe himself.
“I did some book shopping,” he said. “I actually rain int-”

“More porn shopping?” Childe interrupted with a smirk. Zhongli choked on his water. “It’s alright,
Xiansheng. It’s not like we haven’t done embarrassing things together, you can talk about it.
Besides, I want to learn more about what you’re into.”

“I wanted to learn that about myself as well,” Zhongli admitted. “Though, it’s embarrassing to go
out and buy it.”

“I’ll lend you some of mine if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Zhongli blinked. “You… have a variety?” he whispered when the implications of the phrase
“some of mine” settled.

“Yeah,” Childe responded with a shrug. “It’s a normal thing. I’ll give you my favorites and you
can tell me what you like if you’re okay with it, you know, since you want to learn more about
yourself.”

Zhongli took a moment to consider the offer then slowly nodded. “Okay,” he decided. “That would
be fine.”

Childe finished his meal in a few more quick bites. “You should run by my place,” he suggested in
a tone Zhongli now recognized. “I can lend it to you and maybe we could look at them together?”

“A tempting idea, but I cannot be late to work again.”

Childe huffed. “Fine,” he said. “At least walk back with me so I can give it to you then.”

“That sounds fine with me,” Zhongli agreed with a nod.

“Maybe, if it’s not too much of your time… we could walk around Liyue a little?”

Zhongli tilted his head. “You would like to stroll through the city more, or the countryside?”

“I want to see the places you talked about last time, you know… when I asked about the war?”

Zhongli’s heart leapt and did a happy dance. “Another time,” Zhongli told him with an ache in his
soul at having to decline. “I would love to take a stroll with you, but I’m afraid my schedule for
tonight is too full to do anything more than visit your place for a short while. That is not to say I
wouldn’t mind saving that activity for another time.”

“Another time,” Childe agreed.

Childe, of course, paid the check to the many thanks of Zhongli before they left the kiosk.

___

“Archons above, what in the world is that?”

Childe had a concerning amount of pornographic magazines and erotica in his possession. He kept
telling Zhongli that having twenty of these combined wasn’t a lot at all, but Zhongli couldn’t
believe him. He was offered to borrow the whole lot, but he protested carrying that much back with
him and settled on a one magazine and one book that Childe said were favorites of his. They
agreed to meet on Saturday which was now only one day away, so he was cram studying in a
sense.

He didn’t make it very far in the magazine. The proportions drawn of the illustrated figures (the art
itself was quite skillful but the drawing itself horrendous to his dismay) were dramatized to an
uncomfortable extent: giant breasts on small women’s waists and butts on all genders so big he
worried how thin legs could carry their weight. He saw one dick that looked like it was the size of
his forearm standing upright on a man of normal proportions that uncomfortably seared its way
into his brain and decided that was quite enough, putting it away in his bottom drawer and actually
closing it this time.

Fetish. He learned what that word meant when he read the magazine’s description. He supposed it
was not his place to judge if it was so commonplace that a magazine was illustrated about it.

He studied the cover of the book. It was simple and read “Levels of Obedience”. Zhongli flipped to
a random page.

“You like me stuffing you full of my cock don’t you, you filthy fucking slut?”

The body under him moaned louder as he drove his cock deeper inside of him. “I can feel how
much I’m stretching your sloppy hole,” Maxim continued as he thrust himself in deeper. “Can you
feel it? Can you fucking feel how deep inside of you I am?”

“Yes!” Leonid cried. “Yes, it’s so deep! I love being your filthy fucking whore! I love-”

“No,” Zhongli audibly said as he closed the book shut and buried his burning face in his hands. He
didn’t know what he was prepared for, but he certainly wasn’t prepared for such vulgar language.

Childe did say those two were favorites of his. Was that why he was so excited about the size of
his… thing?

Would he be excited if he said vulgar words?

That thought made Zhongli pause and contemplate. Childe was very willing to explore the things
he liked and was quick to ask questions, he decided, so perhaps it was best to do the same. It
wouldn’t hurt to try.

Zhongli hadn’t cursed a single day of his life. Back in the day, such words were looked down upon
far more than they are now. He could still remember the shunning a single curse word could
impose on an individual and how looked down upon it once was and he could remember audibly
gasping when a teenager a few days ago said “fuck” so very casually when he tripped on the
sidewalk and fell.

Well… he couldn’t be prude forever, he decided.

He stood up and walked to the bathroom. He closed the door as if his empty apartment would have
prying ears, took a deep breath, and looked in the mirror.

Practice. That’s what he needed. If he started to look at intercourse as another field to become
knowledgeable in, there shouldn’t be a problem. He was a fast learner anyway. The years have
taught him how to retain information and figure out the rest on his own anyway.

“F… fff…”
He couldn’t do it. Like hell he couldn’t do it. He could do it. He felt so silly.

“F… fuhh… ffff...”

He washed his face. This shouldn’t be that daunting of a task for him. Did he forget who he was?
He had done far worse tasks. He had killed gods under his polearm. He had formed mountains and
valleys with his might. He was the God of Contracts, War and Wealth, gnosis or not. If he wanted
to, he could easily say…

“F-Fuck.”

Zhongli washed his face again as if that would cleanse him of his sins. “Fuck,” he said again while
looking at himself in the mirror with a little more confidence.

Huh. This wasn’t that bad. He could say it if he wanted to, he was sure. Dirty talk won’t be that
much of an issue, right?

“Do you feel my cock fucking deep inside of you?”

As he said it aloud while alone in the bathroom with more ease than he anticipated, he could
imagine himself saying that phrase while Childe moaned those delicious sounds under him and
those wet squelching sounds he heard when he fingers him increased tenfold as he drove himself in
and out. He wondered what it would actually sound like.

And with that thought, he was hard.

He quietly grumbled to himself, sat on the toilet, and freed his cock from the confinements of his
pants and took his length into his hands. He started to tease it to full hardness before rubbing it up
and down in the pace he was learning he liked, fairly quick but not terribly fast with a firm grip. He
closed his eyes and imagined what would happen next.

“Do you feel how much I’m stretching you out?” he whispered to himself. Childe moaned louder
in his mind. Saying such filthy things was slowly starting to get easier.

“Yes!” Childe would cry. “It feels so good, Xiangsheng-”

No, he would be sure that silly nickname wasn’t said by him. “It feels so good Zhongli!” he’d
moan. Yes, that was much better. His hand began to stroke himself faster.

“You love it, don’t you,” Zhongli hissed under his breath. “You love being stuffed full of me,
don’t you?” He still felt a little silly and was sure he’d be embarrassed by doing this alone later, but
in the moment, he couldn’t care less.

“I love it! I love it so much! Zhongli, Zhongli it’s so good! It’s so good!”

He wondered how those words would actually sound if Childe was in front of him and he was
driving his cock inside of him now. He wondered how that ass would feel under his hands if he
bent him over and did him like that and how it would feel around his cock. He wondered how his
sweat would taste if he leaned over and licked a stripe on his shoulder. He wondered how sharp his
blood would feel on his tongue if he bit down on him hard enough. He wondered if Childe would
be into that and how taboo that thought was.

He wondered if Childe would like to be degraded the character in his erotica.

He pumped himself harder and threw his head back in a soft moan as he squeezed his length a little
harder. It felt good, it felt really good, but it wasn’t nearly enough. He needed to feel that writhing
body underneath him, hear those delicious sounds, please him the way Childe pleased him time
and time again. He wanted to prove himself. He’d be damned if he was sheepish and shy again.

A few more minutes passed of replaying scenes and whispering everything he wanted to say under
his heavy breath before he came in his hand with a soft groan. He stayed still for a moment,
catching his breath and coming down from his high, before he cleaned himself with shaky hands
and head still in a haze.

He read the erotica in its entirety, taking mental notes of the dirty talking and foreplay practiced in
it. The more he flipped the pages, the more excited about the following day he became.

Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

___

On their agreed time of 7pm Saturday night after an entire day of nervously fidgeting and making
sure his home was as clean as he last left it, Childe burst through the door without knocking and
waltzed in like he owned the place while Zhongli looked up from his seat in the kitchen and gave
him a small smile.

“Sure, you can come in,” Zhongli said teasingly. Childe laughed a loud and hearty laugh.

“Oh, you have jokes now,” Childe smirked as he closed the door and locked it behind him. “Sorry.
I was actually just hoping I’d catch you in the act again.”

Zhongli chucked and took another sip of his tea. “Not this time, unfortunately.”

Childe took a seat next to him and looked up at him with a wide smile. “You don’t happen to have
anything to drink, do you? It’s been a pretty long day and I’m honestly feeling kind of pissy.”

Zhongli didn’t flinch this time at Childe’s foul words, which made Childe raise an eyebrow in
curiosity. “I have tea,” Zhongli said simply as he stood up. “I’m afraid I don’t have any alcohol as
my tolerance isn’t exactly suitable as you know.”

Childe huffed out a long and dramatic sigh. “I’ll take whatever you got,” Childe grumbled.
Zhongli brewed a quick cup for the sake of Childe’s impatience with a spare tea bag he had set
aside. He detested tea bags but was a little impatient to skip the formalities himself.

Childe took a long gulp from the tea and sighed. “Is something troubling you?” Zhongli asked.
Childe softly shook his head.

“It was just a pain in the ass to get out from work,” he grumbled. “Everyone’s an idiot and I’m
responsible for those fuckers.”

Zhongli still didn’t flinch. Zhongli noticed Childe begin to watch his actions carefully at this. “I’m
sorry you have to endure that,” Zhongli said simply, leaning against the counter and crossing his
arms in front of him. His coat was removed and he was wearing a casual button-up shirt that was
undone a little at the top and trousers held up by a belt that wasn’t anything special. He could feel
Childe’s eyes wandering across his unusually exposed figure and across his bare forearms, not that
he minded. “Would it make you feel better to talk it out?”
Childe groaned loudly and shot back the rest of his tea like it was the vodka from home. Zhongli
did flinch at how unorthodox the way he drank was. “I didn’t come here to talk,” he snapped with a
raised voice. He then sat back, sighed, and shook his head. “Sorry. Just pissy.”

“I understand, it’s okay. Surely there is something I can do to make you feel better?”

Childe met his eyes and smiled widely. “You smooth motherfucker,” Childe smirked. Zhongli
didn’t know what he said to be ‘smooth’, but he decided to roll with it.

Childe stood up from his stool to stride close to Zhongli, so very close. “You could fuck it out of
me,” he breathed in his ear, making Zhongli shudder a little. “Do you wanna skip the formalities
and go straight to the good stuff?”

“Let’s,” Zhongli breathed.

Childe grabbed his shirt by the collar and almost dragged him to the bedroom. Once he shut the
door behind him, he crashed their lips together, fingers making steady and hasty work of undoing
the buttons of his shirt. Zhongli barely had time to breathe when Childe threw it off his shoulders
and started fumbling with his belt.

Zhongli thought it best to follow Childe’s actions. He pulled the fastens of his shirt undone and slid
it off his shoulders, earring a pleased hum that was pressed into his mouth further as Childe
furiously made out with him. He felt his own shirt fall to the floor and Childe’s bare chest press
flush against his, making him groan into the other’s mouth.

“You’re getting better at this,” Childe praised when their lips parted. “I’d daresay call you an okay
kisser by now.”

“What do I have to do to be good for you, then?”

Childe moaned a light sound at those words. “Undress me more,” he sighed, “and taste me. My lips
aren’t the only thing that taste sweet, Xiansheng.”

Zhongli did what he thought he was supposed to do. He brought his lips down to his neck and
kissed it deeply, sucking against the skin while his hands undid Childe’s pants. Childe sighed as he
let them fall to the floor, stepping out of them while Zhongli continued to work, mouth falling
down to his collarbones as he sucked marks and lapped his tongue over the skin.

“That’s good,” Chile praised, lacing his fingers in Zhongli’s hair. Zhongli hummed at the praise,
sucking his skin harder and licking every untouched patch of skin he could find while Childe
moaned and gripped his head tighter. “I’ve been waiting on this all fucking day, Xiansheng. You
have no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to this.”

“You taste sweet,” Zhongli huffed as he experimentally bit down on his shoulder. Childe moaned
airily and bucked his hips forward. Childe’s hands were now undoing Zhongli’s own pants.
“Childe, you-”

“Don’t call me that anymore.”

Zhongli stopped what he was doing and looked up confused. “I don’t want you calling me by my
codename in the bedroom,” he explained. “It just feels a little weird.”

“...Tartaglia?”

“Call me by my work name one more time and I’ll kill you.”
Zhongli blinked. “Then, what name do you want?”

“Ajax,” Childe breathed as he tugged Zhongli’s pants down. “My real name is Ajax.”

Zhongli stepped out of his pants and was met with Childe’s lips on his own again. His tongue
made steady work of opening his mouth while his hands traveled over his chest and arms as if
trying to memorize every part of his physicality.

Zhongli found the tent in his pants to be all the more difficult to ignore. He was impatient. He
broke their kiss with a soft push, breathing heavily in time with Childe who was looking at him in
confusion after being stopped so suddenly. Zhongli looked back into his eyes with an intensity he
couldn’t control.

“You brought what is necessary for me to properly fuck you this time, correct?”

Putting aside his morals for that filthy sentence to emerge from his lips and that humiliating
practice was more than worth it. Childe’s face grew from wide in surprise to stretched in a wicked
grin as his eyes glinted in excitement. His cheeks flushed as he bent down to rummage through the
pockets of his pants that were lying lazily on the floor like a madman before pulling out a condom
with a victorious “aha!” and throwing it on the bed.

“Lie down, Xiansheng,” Childe instructed with anticipation and sharpness laced in his tone. “Let’s
hurry up and do this now. I’m impatient.”

Zhongli did as he was told, climbing onto the bed then leaning back and resting his head on a
pillow comfortably while he waited on the man climbing on top of him. In one swift movement,
Childe removed his boxers and sat over Zhongli’s lap on his knees. Zhongli’s eyes locked on his
firm and upright nipples, his half-hard arousal standing at attention, at the pink tip that looked like
it tasted so good, at the shaft that he could still feel, and at the balls that must fit so well in his
hand. The sight of Childe fully naked and hovering over him like this was driving him crazy.

“Lube.”

One word spoken and Zhongli was leaning over to rummage through the top drawer of his
nightstand. He silently thanked himself for buying a bottle along with some condoms despite his
embarrassment after their previous encounter to be safe. At least it was somehow easier to purchase
than erotica. Once he found it, he nearly shoved it into Childe’s hands.

Childe made quick work of squirting a hearty amount on his fingers before reaching back and
fluttering his eyes closed in a moan. His finger was now thrusting in and out of him far too quickly
Zhongli knew by the way his face scrunched up in pain and he hissed with every breath. Zhongli
pressed his fingers into Childe’s thighs, gripping a little too tightly. This made Childe throw his
head back in a high mewl as the squelching of fingers fucking him grew louder.

“I can’t wait to stuff myself full of your cock,” Childe sighed as he entered a second finger. “I
would just start bouncing on it now if it weren’t so fucking- ahh- big, Xiansheng.”

“Call me by my actual name as well, Ajax.”

Childe visibly shuddered and moaned a high whine at the use of his real name. He stuttered over
his words, cock twitching over Zhongli’s torso as he pushed his fingers inside knuckles deep.

“W-which one,” Childe whimpered. “Which name? You- ahh, you have so many names.”

“Choose.”
Childe whimpered as he started rocking himself on his fingers, leaning a hand on Zhongli’s chest
to support himself. “Morax,” he whined over him, “d-do you like it? Do you like- ah, fuck- do you
like t-this mortal prepping himself for your cock?”

Not what he was initially hoping to hear, but he couldn’t exactly complain. Hearing his divine
name drove a sense of power and authority coursing through Zhongli’s veins he liked more than he
thought he would. He groaned in response and dug his fingers in Childe’s thighs harder and with
enough force to leave bruises. “Beautiful,” Zhongli responded in a low growl. “I love watching you
stretch yourself open for me.”

Childe moaned louder as he entered a third digit. “F-fuck,” he stuttered, “when d-did you- ahh...
learn to t-talk like that?”

“I recounted what this sight would look like many times, and I have envisioned my actions vividly
each time.” I rehearsed every line in the erotica you leaned me until it didn’t feel weird to say out
loud anymore.

“Y-you thought ab-about, ahh, stretching m-me open on your cock?” Childe smiled widely,
swollen lips from rough kissing stretching across his red and flushed face. He entered the fourth
finger with a whimper and shake of his legs. “I thought about it too, Morax, I th-thought, ahh, ah,
about how g-good your cock w-would feel inside of me.”

“Would it ruin you more than your fingers are?” Zhongli was using every fiber of his being to not
let the quiver of his voice and how flustered he actually felt drip into his tone.

With that, Childe ripped his fingers out of himself with a lewd pop and grabbed the condom from
next to him. He held it in his teeth and furrowed his eyebrows and he gripped the fabric of
Zhongli’s undergarments and ripped them open with a loud tear. Zhongli was too shocked to speak
or mention that he just ripped open the most expensive pair he wore specifically for this occasion
and could only watch as drool dribbled down Childe’s chin as he bit the edge of the packaging in
his mouth harder, gritting his teeth in excitement and arousal.

“This is going to be the best fucking cock to stuff me in my life,” Childe declared, to himself or
Zhongli neither of them knew, as he opened the condom. He rolled it over Zhongli who bit his
tongue when it still felt a little tight and let out a low groan at the friction. He couldn’t care less. He
needed this. He needed this now. “You’re so big, I’m gonna fuck myself on it until you can’t
think.”

“Get on with it, then.”

Childe shivered and grabbed the base of Zhongli’s cock with his hand to hold it in position. He
leaned his weight on Zhongli’s chest with his free hand and moved his ass until the tip was poking
at his entrance. Childe let out a shaky moan at the sensation, and then finally, finally began to sink
down.

He threw his head back and gasped as he sat down on the tip. His body was shaking, eyelashes
fluttering and mouth hanging open. He looked like he wanted to say something, but his tongue kept
getting caught on the words as he lowered himself down more to take the tip in its entirety.

“It hurts,” Childe managed with an unsteady exhale. “I s-stretched myself out s-so much and it still
hurts… f-fuck Morax, it’s the b-biggest cock I’ve ever taken.”

Zhongli was using every ounce of willpower within him to not buck his hips up at those words. He
held onto Childe’s hips with a death grip to keep himself under control, groaning at the tight
wetness encompassing him. It was only the tip and it was already overwhelming. His head was
spinning at the thought that Childe was sitting on top of his cock and moaning about how much it
was pushing his limits already.

Childe, the man with unwavering strength and stamina, Childe, arguably the most dangerous man
residing in Liyue, was moaning about how much his cock was hurting him and how big it was.
And he was leaving bruises on his thighs and hips. And he was making his head fall back in
ecstasy. It had been a long time since he felt so powerful and dominant against another being. He
liked the feeling, he liked the feeling a lot.

“Your composure is faltering from just the tip,” Zhongli growled, the low rumble of his voice
pounding in both of their ears. “You love it that much, don’t you?”

Childe sat down a little more, going about a quarter's way while his legs visibly threatened to give
out. “F-fuck yes, I love it,” he whined, voice going up in pitch. “Oh fuck, Morax, fuck it’s s-so
much, it’s so much…”

Childe took it halfway and Zhongli moaned at the tight hug sinking down further. Childe’s rim was
fluttering at the intrusion around him and his muscles convulsing in pain. It made the body sinking
down on him feel all the more alive, all the more claimed by him. Zhongli, without thinking,
pushed Childe’s hips down further with his grip. Childe cried at the feeling of being forced down.

“D-don’t force me down-” he whimpered. “It’s so much, I-I can’t t-take it so quickly!”

Zhongli relaxed his grip and stopped pushing him. “My apologies,” he mumbled in a shaking
voice. “I’m just… a little impatient.”

Childe nodded in response, showing silently that he was okay, and settled in the position he was in
for a moment. It was pure torture for Zhongli. He released his grip from Childe’s hips in fear that
he would force his body down again and instead held on tightly to the bedsheets, scrunching up his
face in anticipation.

Then Childe sank down more slowly, so, so slowly, until after what felt like an eternity he was
settled at the base, balls flush against his ass and fingernails digging marks into Zhongli’s chest
with a pressure that was sure to scar. Zhongli hissed in sharp pain from the scratches and the
overwhelming feeling of Childe fully taking his length and the spasms of his muscles still rippling
around him.

“I’m so full,” Childe whimpered. “It’s so deep, Morax you’re so deep…”

Childe began to grind his hips against Zhongli’s in high moans that melted with Zhongli’s rumbles.
Zhongli caught his head from falling back against the pillow and looked at Childe above him
instead, at how his hips rocked back and forth in rolling motions and how he was drooling a little
bit, face flushed and mouth hanging open, eyes glazed over, skin glistening with sweat, and
splotches of color blooming over his skin from the sudden blood rush to his head. He already
looked so ruined and the smell of his arousal and desperation was filling Zhongli’s senses. It was
like Childe was fucking into every sense he had and every part of his body.

After adjusting to the length for a while, Childe began to slowly lift and drop his hips in a snail’s
pace, only going up about a quarter’s way before falling back down. Zhongli’s mouth fell open in
moans as Childe fucked himself on him, holding onto the bedsheets tighter and shaking a little.

“M-move faster,” Zhongli managed in a quivering voice. Childe whimpered in response, then
experimentally moved his hips in a faster pace before stopping in a hiss of pain.
“I c-can’t yet,” he sighed. “I’m- ahh fuck, I’m n-not used to it yet. Ahh, ah, it’s j-just so much.”

“Are you saying that, nngh, you’re not strong enough to take it?” Zhongli meant that to be words of
concern. He didn’t realize how much of fighting words what he said actually was until they were
in the air. Another thing to roll with, he decided. He was learning to pretend he fully meant and
intended everything he did tonight and it would go smoothly.

Childe paused his movements and looked up at Zhongli with a glint in his eye. “Fuck that,” Childe
growled. “Not, ahh, st-strong enough?! You think I can’t t-take a cock?”

“Apparently not,” Zhongli smirked. There was no harm in playing along, he decided.

Childe wordlessly adjusted his position so his legs were spread wide and feet flat against the bed,
back bowed as he leaned on the hands that moved behind him and were resting in a tight grip on
Zhongli’s thighs, and started bouncing. He cried out in pain and ecstasy as he moved his hips up
and down harshly and quickly, blubbering out incoherent words that mingled with loud and
uncontrolled moans that ripped their way out of his chest.

“How’s this,” Childe smirked in a wobbly smile, fighting the contortion pleasure was pounding
into his features. “H-how about me not, ahh, being able t-to take your cock now, huh?”

Zhongli could only moan in response as Childe continued to fuck himself. The wet and lewd noises
of every slap of skin and squelching of Childe’s insides being rearranged were making Zhongli’s
grip on reality falter. He felt so good, so warm and tight. The feeling of damp skin against his own,
fingernails scraping his thighs as if Childe wanted to claim every inch of him… it was all so, so
fucking amazing.

“You feel so good,” Zhongli moaned as his knuckles turned the same shade of white as the sheets
he was gripping. Childe let out a high whine in response and rolled his hips in a long and deep
motion, grinding down on his cock for a while before bouncing again.

“There!” Childe whined as he locked his motions in the perfect direction. “I-it’s hitting- oh, fuck,
it’s so good! It’s so good, ahhh!”

Childe’s cock was bouncing in time with His motions and Zhongli couldn’t help but think the sight
was adorable. Childe’s legs were shaking so much. He started to stumble his motions, slipping a
little before going right back to what he was doing.

“Are y-you ok,” Zhongli stuttered through gasps. Childe flashed him a challenging look and
slammed himself down on Zhongli, making them both cry out.

“L-legs… giving, ah, out,” he managed. Seeing Childe barely being able to talk made the fire
inside of him roar. “N-no problem, though.”

“I can, hng, f-fuck you myself, then.”

It was a question and invitation laced with lewdness Zhongli was slowly becoming more
comfortable escaping his lips. Childe’s eyes blew wide and after slipping again, then he nodded
sheepishly.

Zhongli gripped Childe’s sides and slammed him over with more force than he meant, rolling on
top of him in time while the two of them were still connected. He looked down at the body
underneath him, struggling for breath after getting the wind knocked out, face flushed, tears
threatening to fall, mouth hanging open, and eyes glazed over in a lustful haze. Without thinking
and going purely on instinct, Zhongli began to thrust in and out of him sharply and roughly, earning
a loud and high moan from the body underneath him in reward.

“F-fuck, that’s so good,” Childe whimpered. He spread his legs out farther and gripped his neck
for dear life, scratching into the nape helplessly. “Ah, Morax, h-harder, do it, ahhhh…!”

Zhongli started thrusting into him as hard as he could, groaning loudly as he leaned down against
Childe’s neck and bit into it harder than he meant to. Childe cried out when his teeth sank into him
and became jelly under him, unable to do anything but moan and shake while Zhongli mercilessly
pounded inside of him.

After leaving a nasty mark, he moved his mouth to crash against Childe’s lips, kissing him
hungrily, roughly, and desperately while they swallowed all of each other’s moans and danced their
tongues together. Zhongli pushed his mouth down deeper as if that would make their connection
more intimate. He felt like he was consuming Childe with every part of his body and the thought
made the heat in his gut rise.

“There!” Childe moaned when they parted. “There, t-there- ahh, I’m gonna cum! F-fuck, I’m
gonna cum!”

With a few more blubbers, Childe arched his back off the bed and came in ribbons so strongly it
reached up to his chest. Zhongli followed not long after, moaning a long and wanton sound into
Childe’s mouth he didn’t recognise as his own voice as he spilled into the condom. His climax was
all-consuming, shaking him to the core of his being as he pulled away from their kiss and sank his
teeth into another spot on Childe’s neck.

Childe whimpered as Zhongli let out a couple more shallow thrusts and steadied himself to the
base as he rode out his high before pulling out slowly and flopping on top of him while smashing
their lips together again. For a few minutes, neither of them could do anything but pant, kiss, and
gasp, lying in a two-man pile and breathing in each other’s scent. After an eternity of collecting
himself, Zhongli began to sit up but was roughly pulled down by Childe by the neck.

“We need to clean up,” Zhongli spoke in a gentle whisper. Childe grumbled as he wrapped his legs
around his waist and held him tighter. Zhongli chuckled at this and kissed his cheek softly, feeling
Childe heat up at the gentle affection and hold him tighter.

“This condom is getting uncomfortable,” Zhongli said. Childe let go of him with another grumble
and allowed Zhongli to roll it off, tie the end in a knot, and carry it to the bathroom to throw away.

“Holy shit,” a voice gasped behind him. Zhongli turned around to see Childe, sitting up a little and
red in the face.

“What is it?”

“You just… how is it possible for one man to cum that much?!”

Zhongli awkwardly looked at the filled condom then returned to Childe. He shrugged. “Is this an
unhealthy amount?”

“It’s a tempting amount.”

Zhongli didn’t know what he meant by that. He chose to stay silent and discard the condom before
making his way back to the bed. He felt a little weird walking around in front of another fully
naked this casually, but he didn’t mind all that much.

He laid down next to Childe and opened his arms in a silent invitation to cuddle. It didn’t take him
very long to pick up on the physical affection Childe craved after sex. Childe did a horrible job of
containing his excitement as he leapt into his arms, nuzzled his face into his chest, and wrapped his
arms around him as Zhongli tangled his legs with Childe’s and held him just as close.

They were silent, but Zhongli found he didn’t mind at all. He softly petted Childe’s head and
earned a sigh of satisfaction far too similar to a purr from the other. Childe buried his head into his
chest further to hide his flushed face, breathing in the scent of his musk and high that hadn’t
completely faded.

“How would you feel about me getting tested,” Childe then asked. Zhongli raised an eyebrow.

“Tested?” he asked. “I don’t follow.”

“Tested for STDs so we could stop using protection.”

“Ah.” Zhongli paused in thought. “Is that what you meant by ‘a tempting amount’?”

“Yeah,” Childe responded sheepishly. That was a something else Zhongli didn’t know of. He
wondered why a man would possibly want to be inseminated by another man if they both had
penises and couldn’t reproduce, but decided not to press the topic.

“If we wanted to try that,” he said instead of asking “we should make testing a habit before the act
itself.”

Childe lifted up his head with a look Zhongli didn’t recognize. “Are you sleeping with other
people?” Childe asked with a small voice.

“No,” Zhongli said simply, and that was the truth.

“So… you think I am?”

Zhongli tilted his head. “I thought we both decided our relationship to be "friends with benefits’ as
you put it,” Zhongli said matter-of-factly. “I do not mind you having different partners if that is
what we are. Or am I mistaken in the label that best fits what we are?”

Childe opened his mouth to say something but visibly decided against it. “Yeah,” he mumbled as
he laid his head back on his chest. “I haven’t been with anyone but you lately, but… you’re right.
And that’s what we are. Friends… with benefits.”

Zhongli didn’t understand his tone but felt it wasn’t good to ask. Silence fell between them again,
though this time, it was a little more uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry if my statement was inappropriate,” Zhongli said softly. “I did not mean to insult you in
any way.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re being responsible and I’m glad you are. Being safe isn’t
insulting.”

“Did you enjoy yourself tonight,” Zhongli then asked, feeling like it was best to change the subject
for reasons he didn’t fully get yet.

“I did,” Childe smiled. “It was great. Thank you.”

“There is no reason to thank me. I hardly did anything.”

“You made it perfect,” Childe said softly as his embrace grew tighter. “You… make a lot of things
 perfect.”

Zhongli felt that there were implications under those words, but he felt it best to not question them.
So, he simply held Childe close and ignored the itchiness of filthy skin that needed to be washed
for the sake of Childe beginning to drift off in his arms and the fear of disturbing his peace. His
breathing began to lighten and his body relaxed as he slowly fell asleep while Zhongli watched.
The last full thought he had before he too drifted off was that this was the most at peace he had
ever seen Childe be.

Chapter End Notes

I was laughing so much when I wrote the “God of War hypes himself up to say ‘fuck’
for his not really bf’s enjoyment” scene. I didn’t even initially mean for it to be funny
but it is.
 Intimacy Has A Larger Influence On Me Than I Expected
Chapter Summary

Zhongli sucks Childe off with his freaky funky dragon tongue and Childe accidentally
says something embarrassing during sex.

Chapter Notes

I apologize for the update delay. Midterms and the worst period of my life happened to
join forces and plot my eternal suffering this past week so I have been able to do
nothing but study and roll around on the floor in both physical and mental agony. So
needless to say I haven’t been working on this too much. Please forgive me if this
chapter is kind of shit. I’ve been in a great amount of suffering while writing it so it
isn't the best in my opinion.

I headcanon Liyue to be a lot bigger than it is in-game since it doesn’t make sense for
a whole ass nation to be that small. That’s why it takes them literally sun up to the
dead of night to go halfway across the map and back on their walk.

Also, I headcanon Childe as being secretly soft asf, as that’s how he is with his family
and the traveler sometimes, and just acts tough and calculating bc of the pressure of
being a harbinger. Don’t have to agree with me, that’s just my personal take on his
character. Idk if I should put an OOC tag since it doesn’t stray too much from his
canon self but if I should anyway let me know. :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The sky was a soft shade of light blue and the blazing sun was directly over Childe and Zhongli’s
heads as they strolled through the outskirts of Juyeon Karst. They had been walking since they ran
into each other at Wamin eating an early breakfast when the sun had barely risen and found out
they both had a day off. Childe eagerly asked Zhongli if they could take that walk and Zhongli
accepted his request just as enthusiastically.

They had walked from Liyue harbor, through Dunyu Ruins, Tianqiu Valley, then Cuijue Slope,
and were now just outside Jueyunjian. And Zhongli talked the entire time. Well, the entire time not
counting Childe’s occasional question and comment about his lectures, as well as when Childe
mentioned both the sample Zhongli gave Childe as he was too embarrassed to go to Baizhu’s office
himself and his own came back clean. He offered to show the papers which Zhongli declined as he
didn’t want to trouble him any further.

He barely covered a fraction of the history of the archon war with the number of hours they had
spent walking together. He felt very old compared to the younger man next to him who was
eagerly listening and even jotted down notes to Zhongli’s utmost delight when he talked about
locations of some artifacts long abandoned from Gods who passed on, well, passed on in the cruel
sense of how a God could pass on. This ancient feeling subsided when he got just as lost in his
lecture as Childe appeared to be.

They were both walking up the steps of the northernmost part of the Jueyunjian lake to admire the
waterfall while Zhongli talked on and on, now sure in himself to speak freely and without restraint
in fear of being too boring. Being listened to made him so happy.

He talked on as they climbed up the steps, then trailed off when he saw a figure sitting at the ledge
and jotting something down in a notebook. He knew that hair. Could it be…

Ah, it was. What a coincidence. It was almost as if Xingqiu was purposely where Zhongli was.

“Something wrong, Zhongli?” Childe asked with a raised eyebrow. “You were just about to tell me
about the sword of the God of Jade.”

Zhongli didn’t know if he should bother Xingqiu or greet him. He looked immersed in whatever he
was writing at the moment. This was a lovely place to do so. The waterfall was very beautiful this
time of day. He actually found himself straying to this part of Liyue specifically without meaning
to just so he could admire the scenery. His friend must be enjoying the scenery as well. Yes, he
shouldn’t bother him for that reason, he decided. It would be best not to interrupt him.

“Uh, hello? Zhongli?” Childe looked in the same direction as him. “Who are you staring at?”

“Ah, my apologies,” Zhongli said simply. “I got lost in my thoughts.”

Zhongli was about to continue his lecture, but a contorted look in Childe’s face that he didn’t
recognize at those words made him forget where he was. “Who’s that?” Childe asked plainly. They
watched Xingqiu set his pen down on the ground behind him, turn back forward, then try to grab it
again only to stumble over himself and shoot his head back in a desperate search.

“That’s my friend Xingqiu. He recommended me a few interesting titles of literature lately-”

“Zhongli! Hello! What a coincidence and delight to see you here!” Xingqiu’s voice sang when he
looked up. He hastily grabbed his pen and notebook, tucked them under his arms, and broke into a
small jog to greet the two of them.

“Ah, Tartaglia as well,” the younger man said, his demeanor changing a little.

“The second son of the Feiyun Commerce Guild’s manager,” Childe said with a lack of emotion in
his voice. Zhongli wondered how he could so quickly forget his name.

“Hello, Xingqiu,” Zhongli greeted with a small bow and smile. “It’s a pleasure to run into you yet
again.”

The bright pink burn over his nose, cheeks, and ears hadn’t healed yet, he noticed. He really should
invest a few mora in sunblock or a hat for when he spends time outdoors.

“What brings you here, Zhongli?” Xingqiu asked with a bright smile. He darted his gaze towards
Childe who was looking at him with unblinking eyes. “Are you two on… a stroll?” There was
something sheepish about that question. Zhongli didn’t press it.

“I see you and Childe have met,” Zhongli said. “He is a good friend of mine. I was teaching him
about the history of the archon war. What brings you here?”

“Just writing some poetry,” Xingqiu said with a small shuffle of his feet. “Nothing much, of
course.”
“Ah, now that you mention it, I do remember Hu Tao telling me of the poetry you two write
together.” Childe’s eyes were darting back and forth between the two of them.

“Are the two of you friends as well?”

“I’m afraid that isn’t quite the correct label.” No mortal on the face of this world pisses me off
more than she does.

“I understand that,” Xingqiu said with a laugh. “Just between us, she irritates me a little, not to say I
don’t enjoy our collaborations.”

“Then I am not the only one.”

The two of them laughed together. Zhongli thought he heard Childe tsk under his breath, but
perhaps he was mistaken.

“Oh! Zhongli, I actually have something with me for you. I was going to give it to you later today,
but now is a great time as well.”

“Is it another book?” Zhongli asked as Xingqiu shuffled through his belongings. Xingqiu shook his
head.

“No, actually. I wanted to thank you for listening to my recommendations, and I heard from Hu
Tao that you liked tea, so…” He pulled out a decorated box. “It’s a blend I made. I wrote down
instructions for how to brew it.”

Zhongli opened the box a little and inhaled. It bloomed a light and floral scent of the perfect
selection of flowers, herbs, and dried fruits. He closed the lid again to preserve the freshness and
smiled warmly. “Thank you, Xingqiu,” he said with trueness. “What a thoughtful gift. I shall brew
a cup tonight.”

“Wonderful!” Xingqiu’s eyes darted towards Childe’s. If Zhongli didn’t know any better, he’d
think Childe was glaring at him. “You’re teaching Tartaglia about the archon war?” Xingqiu asked
as if that wasn’t previously stated while maintaining eye contact with him. Zhongli nodded.

“Just passing through,” Childe said through his teeth. “We were actually just leaving-”

“Nonsense,” Zhongli corrected him. “I was planning to stop here anyways for a while.”

Xingqiu looked at the two of them. “So,” he said slowly, “um… are you his instructor of sorts, to
go along with your business relationship?”

“I suppose I am now,” Zhongli said lightly. He noticed Childe opened his mouth to speak, but
closed it when Zhongli started talking without paying attention.

“And you two are, pardon my bluntness… simply friends, specifically?”

“Indeed we are.” Zhongli noticed Childe opened up his mouth before Zhongli spoke again and
closed it once Zhongli finished his sentence.

“Splendid! I-I mean,” Xingqiu suddenly stuttered over himself, “splendid to see both of you!
Zhongli… I haven’t forgotten your promise to share a dinner with me yet, and I have more titles to
recommend to you whenever you are free. When shall we discuss plans? I do not know when I’ll
run into you again, pardon my directness.”
From the corner of Zhongli’s sight, he could see Childe’s eye twitch. “I am free on Saturday
evenings,” Zhongli said. “I do not find ill in discussing plans, do not stress. Would six in the
evening work for your schedule? I am interested in hearing of the book titles you recommend.”

“So, next week Saturday that time?”

“Certainly.” He didn’t catch what Childe muttered under his breath.

“Wonderful! I’ll see you then.”

“And I w-”

“He’ll see you then,” Childe said in a snap. “We were just leaving as I said before. We’re in a bit of
a rush, pardon my rudeness, if we stay here all day talking we’ll be late. Come on, Zhongli, you
were just about to tell me about the jade archon, remember?”

Childe pulled Zhongli by the arm before he could fully say his goodbyes.

They were down the steps and out of the eyesight of the lake before Zhongli gently pulled his arm
back.

“Why were you in such a rush to leave, Childe?”

Childe paused and then sighed. “I…” He thought for a moment. “He just irritates me,” Childe
finally said.

“Ah, I understand. Sometimes two people simply do not get along. I shall indeed take note of this
as I do not want ill to either of you.”

Childe opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. “Sure,” Childe grumbled. “So… jade
archon.”

“Yes, of course. Many artifacts have been cast to the depths of the sea, long forgotten by
history…”

___

They spent a few more hours on their walk until they realized the sky had begun to warm. They
then went back to the harbor and were greeted by black skies full of stars by the time they reached
their destination and every restaurant hours past closing time. So, they both settled on dinner at
Zhongli’s place.

It wasn’t like they weren’t going there after this was said and done, anyway.

Childe nearly ate his entire pantry from not eating lunch or dinner until now, which Zhongli didn’t
mind. He himself didn’t have that much of an appetite, so it wasn’t detrimental to him. He
apologized for not having the ingredients on his to cook as he wasn’t planning on doing so, but this
was met with a wave of a hand and a light-hearted remark.

They talked about their own lives and work for a while in the kitchen, not minding the unholy
hour they were awake at. All the while, Childe was slowly moving closer to him until he was
against Zhongli’s chest and had his arms wrapped around him, which he was not opposed to.
They stayed like that for a while, in silence after they both trailed off, just Childe embracing
Zhongli while he himself slowly snaked his arms around the other’s frame.

Childe then kissed him wordlessly. It was light and innocent, sweet and kind. Zhongli leaned into it
and allowed his fingers to twirl in his hair.

“Zhongli,” Childe asked when they parted with a light smack, “who’s…” he trailed off.

“Hmm?”

“Nevermind,” he said with a shake of his head. “It’s not my right to ask, anyway. We’ve already
agreed on who we are.”

He kissed Zhongli again, but it felt a little different this time. Zhongli didn’t know how to explain
it. Melancholy? How could kisses be melancholy? It must just be gentler.

“Are you okay?” Zhongli found himself asking. Childe smiled and tucked some hair behind
Zhongli’s ear. He was very gentle tonight, he observed.

“It’s… work I don’t want to talk about,” Childe said. Zhongli knew it was a lie deep down but
chose to believe him as he didn’t think he had a reason to and didn’t want to make him talk about
anything he didn’t want to talk about. “You’re getting better at reading people’s emotions, Zhongli.
It must be our intimacy.” Childe paused. “Sorry, that was… a weird thing to say.”

“I don’t think so. I believe you. It makes sense that I would be more in touch with emotions when
sharing closeness with another.”

Childe smiled softly. “Speaking of closeness,” he sang, “should we go on to the bedroom? That’s
what we’re really here for, isn’t it?”

“I would not be opposed.”

Childe led Zhongli into the bedroom, closed the door behind both of them, and kissed him deeply.
It was becoming natural to Zhongli at this point. The feeling of Childe’s lips against his own was
burned into his memory, as well as the way he kissed. It didn't take him long to learn to kiss well is
to kiss the same way your partner does, so he focused on mirroring Childe’s actions the best he
could.

When they parted, Zhongli began to kiss the corner of his mouth, along his cheek, jawline, then
down to the top of his throat. Childe sighed a light sound when Zhongli began to suck a light
mark.

“Don’t leave any marks where people will see,” Childe told him in a sing-song tune. Zhongli could
only nod as he pressed his lips down his neck into a kiss rather than a hickey while sliding gloves
off both their hands, nuzzling his face against it and savoring how the texture under his mouth as
well as their fingers fiddling and intertwining together felt.

Zhongli inhaled deeply while his nose was buried in Childe’s neck without really meaning to. He
smelled like the trees and the grass from their stroll with a hint of the sharp, warm, and caramel
scent of whiskey that hadn’t fully washed out of his clothes (he must have run out of vodka) from
some nameless time Childe had spent drinking. It was damp, like a summer’s rain on fertile soil.
His warm skin under his fingertips felt fertile as well. He didn’t really know why he was describing
a male as such a thing, but he didn’t care anymore.

He wanted more. He wanted to taste him everywhere, as intimately as he could.

As intimately as he could… That was an idea he was sure Childe would like.

The taste of his skin was just as deep as the scent. He wished he learned to appreciate it sooner.
Childe sighed contently and laced his fingers into Zhongli’s hair, pulling on the band that kept his
long strand of hair fastened. Zhongli got his message and leaned back, undid it, and allowed it to
waterfall over his shoulders while Childe watched him with wide eyes.

“You’re so pretty,” Childe’s lips said before he could stop them. A hand moved to cover his mouth
only to be pulled back while Childe averted Zhongli’s gaze that was growing in intensity.

“That is the first time I have been described as such,” Zhongli breathed quietly. Childe looked back
at him with lidded eyes masked by a glaze that was growing all too familiar.

“You… are, though,” Childe mumbled shyly. Zhongli chuckled at his sudden flusteredness and
laid another kiss on his neck.

“Thank you, Ajax,” Zhongli hummed as he went back to work. Childe moaned at the use of his
real name and leaned into his touch. “I’m glad you find me as such.”

“Of course I do. You’re… you’re beautiful.”

“You flatter me. I’m nothing special,” Zhongli chuckled as he dipped his head down further to
explore Childe’s collarbones, slowly trailing down. Childe, at these words, grabbed Zhongli’s jaw
with perhaps more force than he intended and pushed their lips together again, passionately and
deeply kissing him with a moan at the back of his throat.

“Don’t say that,” Childe ghosted against his mouth when they parted. “You’re amazing, Morax.
You are special and I…” Childe paused for a moment. “I… really do find you beautiful.”

“As do I find you.”

Zhongli kissed him again as his hands dipped into his shirt and tugged at it. Childe wordlessly
undid the fastens and slipped it over his shoulders as Zhongli did steady work of undoing Childe’s
pants. While Childe hastily stepped out of them, showing off the growing arousal bulging through
his boxers, Zhongli shed his own shirt.

Zhongli began to lightly push Childe against the bed, leading him down to sit on the edge. Zhongli
hovered over him and began to nip at the top of his chest, trailing down slowly while Childe
breathed heavy and jagged breaths under him until he lapped his tongue over a perky and pink
nipple. Childe moaned and arched his back slightly, pushing against his mouth in a silent plea for
more. Zhongli lightly bit down in response, earning another light and airy moan.

“I would like to learn how to take initiative in pleasing you more,” Zhongli breathed as he moved
down to Childe’s stomach when he had his fill, laying kisses down his abs in a slow and continuing
trail downwards. “Tell me what I do incorrectly and what I must do to improve my technicality.”

“What… are you going to do?” Childe asked in a shaky whisper. Zhongli smiled as he sucked a
dark mark above the hem of Childe’s boxers, making the body under him shudder. Zhongli then
sat on his knees in front of him and tugged the remaining clothing on his body in a silent question.

“I would like to suck your cock,” Zhongli rumbled in a casual but deep tone. Childe moaned in
response and bucked his hips forward a little, pushing his half-hard dick into the direction of
Zhongli’s face without meaning to.

“F-fuck Morax, you’re getting good at bedroom talk,” was all Childe could manage to say. Zhongli
ran a single finger across the start of Childe’s happy trail, burning his gaze into his half-lidded eyes

“Would you like me to?”

“You don’t even have to ask,” Childe said in a light laugh. With that Zhongli pulled his boxers
down and off of his beautiful legs he wished he had the patience to litter in kisses and lick every
inch of. “Fuck, don’t ask anymore. The answer will always be yes for you.”

“For me,” Zhongli whispered mostly to himself as he took in the sight of Childe’s growing arousal,
exposed and so close to his face. He always thought Childe’s cock was cute, straight with a few
bulging veins and a pink tip the same shade of his lips. It was probably a good seven and a half or
eight inches in length. Maybe it wouldn’t be too much of a challenge, but still a bit of one. Zhongli
looked up to meet Childe’s deep and blue eyes. “How should I start?”

“You can… get me fully hard, like… lick the tip and the shaft.”

Zhongli nodded and extended his tongue to run over the slit of the tip and wrap around the shaft.
Childe moaned loud and high at this, eyes moving from Zhongli’s hot and deep gaze to lock on the
dark pink, long, and forked tongue wrapping around his cock twitching to full hardness. “I…
almost forgot about y-your, ahh, tongue,” Childe barely managed to whisper through gasps.
Zhongli hummed in response.

He let his tongue slide back over Childe’s cock, relishing the salty and musky taste and Childe’s
wet and sweet moans as it recoiled back into his mouth. “Good?” he asked in a low tone he was
slowly getting used to hearing from himself. “What should I do differently or next?”

“Wrap it around me again,” Childe whispered. “Don’t talk anymore, I-I really wanna feel it again.
I’ll tell you what to do and how you’re doing. Trust me.”

Zhongli hummed again to show he understood and trailed his tongue across the head again,
earning a high mewl as a reward. It was smooth, a lot smoother than he expected. The texture was
delicious. He hardly expected to be enjoying himself so quickly.

“T-that’s good,” Childe stuttered through moans. He was now fully hard in Zhongli’s mouth
despite them just starting. “T-try putting your mouth down as deep as you can go, and suck on it. I
w-want your tongue and your mouth- ahh, f-fuck!”

Zhongli dipped his head down all the way to the base, nuzzling against Childe’s trimmed bush at
the base and exhaling breaths out sharply through his nose while he focused on wrapping his
tongue around Childe while sucking at the same time. Childe moaned loudly and highly, trembling
a little and gripping Zhongli’s loose hair tightly.

Childe’s cock felt weird at the back of his throat. It wasn’t exactly unpleasant, but not too enjoyable
either. What was enjoyable were the sounds the body under him was making and how far gone he
already looked. Zhongli focused on making eye contact with him while he settled, even if Childe’s
eyes were hiding under the flutter of his eyelashes.

“So much,” Childe gasped when Zhongli sucked harder for fear that he wasn’t doing good enough
of a job. “F-fuck it’s s-so much, Morax…”

Zhongli waited to hear Childe ask for him to pull back, but when he didn’t receive any more
instructions, he stayed at the base. “H-how are you not gagging,” Childe laughed lightly. “F-fuck,
I’ve never felt small until I s-started… with you…”

Zhongli pulled back at those words with a lewd pop and heavy breaths as he tried to collect
himself. “Am I… supposed to gag?” he asked breathlessly.

“You don’t have a gag reflex?!”

“What’s that?”

Childe laughed that light and quiet laugh again, still breathless. “You funky dragon man,” he
smiled. Zhongli didn’t know what he was supposed to say about that, so, he just licked all the way
from the base to the tip in a long stripe, like how Childe did to him, Childe’s laughs slowly turning
into mewls and moans until that was all that left his lips.

“Take me again,” Childe shook, “and, ahh, b-bob your head when you do.”

Zhongli did as he was told, going down all the way to move his head back and forth about halfway
after settling and getting used to the length again. He looked up to Childe to see if there was any
visual cue that he was doing well and felt satisfied when he saw his open mouth, flushed face, and
glossed over eyes that were hardly seeing from pleasure.

“S-start, ahh, sucking again,” Childe gasped, “and use your t- ahh, f-fuck!”

Zhongli sucked gently, hoping not to hurt him. He puckered his lips out and opened his mouth
wider for fear of scraping his fangs against the twitching length in his mouth and circled his tongue
around all the while.

A few bobs later and he pulled back to collect his breath again, sucking and licking teasingly all
the while in fear of it being enough for Childe before going back down again.

“Faster,” Childe breathed, the grip of his hair becoming soothing and praising pets over his head.
Zhongli hummed into the affection. “G-go faster.”

When he moved his head faster, he couldn’t keep the slurping and smacking noises from leaving
his lips. They felt disgusting leaving him and so… slutty. No, he didn’t feel comfortable using that
word to describe himself. He liked erotic more. The sounds ripping out his lips wrapped around
Childe’s cock were so, so erotic.

Childe’s moans were what the word slutty was suited to describe. They were high, needy, drowned
in drool collecting in his mouth, and very out of character for the powerful harbinger. They were
vulnerable and wanton. He wondered why this action specifically was forcing him to make those
beautiful and whorish sounds. He was torn between thinking it was because he liked having his
cock sucked more than being fucked or he felt more comfortable around Zhongli and wasn’t
restraining himself as much. The latter option made pride swell in his gut and motivated him to
work harder.

“Yes!” Childe cried out when Zhongli began to move his wrapped tongue up and down in time
with the bobs of his head. “Fuck, yes! T-that’s so good! M-more, Morax, do it more…”

Childe continued to babble pleas and moan while Zhongli found himself going into a steady
rhythm. It was initially difficult to focus on doing so many things at once to please Childe, but as
time went on, it was becoming repetitive, easier, and allowed his mind to drift off into a peaceful
place. It also allowed him to notice the painful bulge in his pants which was definitely staining as
he tasted the salty tang of what he could only assume was precome dripping down Childe’s length
and into the back of his throat.

He despised the taste. He expected it to be better by how eagerly Childe swallowed him the first
sexual encounter they had or at least be better than ass. It was just as detestable, he decided. But, it
was for Childe. He could suck it up. He tried to hide the way his face scrunched up in disgust as
the taste became more prominent.

Oh, gods, what will semen taste like? He hardly thought he’d want to know.

He popped off Childe’s cock with wheezes to collect his breath again. He trailed one hand to
Childe’s thigh to steady himself as his world spun in circles and held the other down to palm
himself through his pants. After a few deep breaths and before Childe could beg him for more, he
set his mouth back down and swallowed Childe whole again, and started to repeat his previous
actions while rubbing his aching length all the while.

“F-fuck, Morax!” Childe cried. “I-I think I’m gonna cum!”

Zhongli felt Childe twitch in the back of his throat and fear of having to taste something so horrid
made him pull back without thinking, holding his hand at the base to steady Childe’s cock. As soon
as his lips popped off of it, thick ropes flew over his face in spurts as Childe moaned a long and
high sound Zhongli didn’t hear. He froze in place for reasons he didn’t know as it landed over one
of his eyes that fluttered closed on instinct, open lips, nose, and almost everywhere else it could
reach. Right when he thought it would never end, the ropes stopped and Childe released a shaky
and forced breath.

He could feel Childe’s eyes on him. Zhongli felt too embarrassed to look up. His palm was still
rubbing over his fully hard erection without thinking about it.

“Look up,” Childe breathed, and Zhongli did so. Chile led him up so Zhongli’s face could meet his
and then leaned in for what Zhongli thought would be a quick kiss, which made him panic a little
at the thought of having to taste that . Childe licked the cum off of his chin and lips before pressing
them flush with his own, swirling a cum-coated tongue against Zhongli’s and forcing him to take it
in his mouth.

It was just as detestable as he thought it would be. Bitter and salty. Like seafood. Fuck, no. He did
not want to think about that right now.

His stomach churned a little, but he quickly relaxed when he shifted his focus on how Childe was
kissing him. He didn’t mind ignoring the taste for him. In fact… knowing they were exchanging
cum like this and swirling it around in each other's mouths made his cock twitch more in his pants.

Zhongli pinned Childe down on the bed without thinking about it, still kissing him all the while.
He was forced to swallow whatever cum and spit that Childe pushed into his mouth that didn’t
dribble down his chin. They parted for a moment with open mouths connected by a string of thick
saliva so Childe could wordlessly wipe the remaining cum off Zhongli’s face with a single finger,
hand trailing above his face. When he collected it all, including what smeared on his own face
while they kissed in a large glob, he kept eye contact with Zhongli as he licked his finger clean and
didn’t swallow, just letting it sit on his extended tongue before pushing that back into Zhongli’s
mouth with a moan.

It felt so dirty. So incredibly dirty. Zhongli wasn’t completely sure he liked it but he wasn’t
thinking about that, just how this made Childe hard again, cock pressing against his knee as
Zhongli pushed it in between his legs. Zhongli twirled his tongue around Childe’s, pushing the
cum into the other’s mouth so he wouldn’t have to taste it anymore. This made Childe moan as it
dribbled down his and he swallowed whatever didn’t dribble down his lips and his eagerly.

“So slutty,” Zhongli found himself breathing when they parted. Childe moaned at those words and
started grinding down on his knee.
“You like me being a slut for you, Morax?” Childe smirked at him. “You like kissing my cum into
my mouth and making me taste it?”

They did that, didn’t they? Zhongli hardly had the time to think about how fucking sexy that was.
His face flushed a deep shade of red.

“Do you like being called a slut?” Zhongli chose to respond with. Childe chucked.

“I do,” he breathed. “I do like being called your slut.” He ground down on Zhongli’s knee harder
and pulled his face down to breathe against his ear. “Tell me I’m your whore,” he whispered
against it, “and fuck me right now like that’s what I am.”

Zhongli groaned in response and made quick work of removing his pants and boxers and throwing
them aside while Childe watched with attentive eyes and an ever growing smirk. Zhongli reached
over him for the nightstand but was stopped by Childe’s hand grabbing his wrist.

“Let’s do it now,” Childe breathed. “You can use spit. I can’t wait for another second. You made
me feel so good and I can’t stand waiting for you to start…” Childe trailed off. “I… I just want
you,” he settled with. Zhongli didn’t press it.

“We need condoms-”

“We got tested for a reason, right?” Childe asked with a tilt of his head. Oh yeah, they did do that,
didn’t they? He nearly forgot. Zhongli processed his words for a minute before leaning back to
hover over Childe.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” he hesitantly asked. Childe nodded eagerly.

“Please,” he whispered, grinding against nothing. “I want you to fill me up.”

“How should I prepare you without lube?”

“Use that tongue of yours again.”

Zhongli nodded once before leaning back down to Childe’s crotch. He snaked his tongue across his
perineum before circling it around the puckering, pink ring of flesh. Childe moaned and grinded
down on his face while it flicked against his entrance again and again teasingly.

“Please,” Childe gasped as he dug fingers in his hair, “hurry up and prepare me for your cock,
please, I need it, Morax…”

With that, Zhongli pressed his tongue all the way inside while Childe moaned high and loud,
pawing at his head and whimpering as his body spasmed against the intrusion. Zhongli slowed his
pace down when he heard him whimper in pain and fucked him deep and slow against his mouth,
focusing on stretching him open and making it feel as good as he could all the while.

He sure was glad he enjoyed how unraveled Childe became when he used his mouth because
otherwise, he would refuse to taste that horridness ever again. He couldn’t emphasize how
disgusting it was, but Childe’s moans were enough to drown out his senses.

When Childe relaxed under his touch and he could feel the muscle open up to him, he
experimentally added a finger just out of curiosity. This, to his delight, earned a high and needy
moan out of Childe. He curled his tongue and finger up and back, working him open farther before
adding a second finger out of desperation. It was becoming rather difficult to work his tongue and
fingers in harmony and Childe’s noises were becoming less pleased and quieter at his struggle, so
Zhongli resorted to pulling his tongue back to lick the rim and replacing it with two more sudden
fingers to make up for the loss. This sent Childe’s arousal in full swing again instantly.

“I- ahh, fuck, I want more now,” Childe whined as Zhongli spat on his hole and pushed the spit
inside with his fingers. He spilled enough saliva inside of him that it was leaking out a little, so he
was forced to spit on it more and hold his fingers against it to lock it inside. “Please- ahh, please, I
want your cock now.”

Zhongli pulled his mouth away and moved to hover over Childe. He pressed his lips against
Childe’s feverishly, kissing him rougher than he intended to which was met by a pleased moan that
he swallowed whole. “Then that is what you shall receive,” he whispered against his mouth as he
lined himself up. Childe seemed to like him saying that a lot more than he expected him to, judging
from the way his back arched and his mouth fell open in a silent “oh” as Zhongli slowly pressed
inside.

Every ounce of his being was screaming at him to slam in and start ruthlessly fucking into Childe
the way he had been fantasizing the second they had to say their goodbyes, and yet, he was able to
display an amazing degree of self-control as he sank in at a snail’s pace. Childe dug his fingers into
his back again, which he would be a little angry at considering how much they stang the next day
if it wasn’t for the gorgeous sounds Childe was making and how pretty his eyes looked when he
bottomed out, pupils so dilated in the dim light of his bedroom his eyes looked black.

“Move,” Childe demanded in barely a whisper through gasps. It was so soft Zhongli almost didn’t
hear it.

“Are you okay?” Zhongli asked. “Last time, you-”

“I know you want to,” Childe breathed. “P-please, just start fucking me the way I know you want
to.”

Zhongli didn’t know if he had the strength to verbally respond. Instead, he pulled his cock back to
where only the tip and another inch remained and slammed back in. Childe moaned a high whine,
wrapping his legs around Zhongli’s waist and pulling him so close their chests were flushed and
Zhongli was forced to breathe in that damp forest scent even deeper as if it wasn’t already making
his vision black out and his world become dizzier with every breath he took.

Childe was intoxicating he decided when he slammed in again. He didn’t know if his skin was
coated with aphrodisiacs or if he was entirely made of drugs and drink to begin with. Every deep
inhale was making his grip on reality falter even more until all that was in his mind, all that filled
in senses, all that was the core of his being was Childe, no, Ajax. He needed to get out of the habit
of referring to him as such, even in his thoughts.

Ajax was thudding his ears with moans that were so erotic that they couldn’t have been completely
real, gripping his cock with a feeling he was sure he was going to become addicted to and unable to
orgasm without feeling around him at some point, filling his nostrils, head, and lungs with that
musky scent becoming deeper with the more sweat that slicked over his smooth and perfect skin,
and was so sweet and smooth against his mouth as he sucked a dark spot. He was under his hands
and chest, wrapping his legs around his waist, and dragging his nails down his back in deeper cuts
that would trail all the way down to his sides before gripping his shoulder blades again.

“It’s so deep,” Childe gasped. “F-fuck it’s so deep inside of me- ahh!”

Zhongli had no idea how hard he was thrusting. He was just moving. He closed his eyes as he
groaned and moaned sounds he was becoming more comfortable with being his own as the
vibrations of Ajax’s cries rumbled against his mouth. It was so good, so amazingly good. He
wondered if it was possible to completely consume Ajax. All he could do was pull him in closer.

“Is it good,” he heard Ajax whine under him as if he wasn’t the one doing all the work. “I- ahh,
Morax! F-fuckI P-please, t-tell me it’s good. Am I good? A- ah, ah, Am I g-good for you?”

“So good,” he groaned against him. Oh, yeah, he needed to be conscious of what he wanted as
well. What was that thing Ajax asked him to do? He swore he could remember. Yes, that was
right.

“Such a good slut for me.”

Ajax moaned so cutely at that. He wanted more. He desperately wanted to hear more of those
moans. “My- hnng, perfect slut,” Zhongli growled, moving his head up so every deep word was
brushing against Childe’s open and drooling mouth and he could look into those dilated and black
eyes glossed over in lust and tears. “You’re whoring yourself out to me beautifully.”

“Zhongli, kiss me, please.”

Something about the way he asked him to do something so simple that they’ve done what felt like
a thousand times before while using his human name made his heart flutter.

“Ajax…”

Ajax took the liberty of kissing him, leaning his head up to shove his tongue inside. They moaned
deep sounds into each other's mouths as Zhongli’s pace grew harder and more erratic, much to the
pleasure of the body crying out underneath him.

Those tears began to fall down Ajax’s face. Zhongli had a feeling that they weren’t because of
physical pleasure, but they had to be. He almost stopped to ask if he was okay, but the whine of
desperation Ajax released when his pace faltered made him keep going. He broke their kiss with a
loud smack and began to kiss those tears off his face, which to his confusion, made Childe cry
harder.

“Please, more,” Ajax moaned loudly. “H-harder, please…”

He was very desperate tonight, Zhongli thought to himself, more than amused. He thrust in deeper
and with more of his strength, burying his head into the other side of Ajax’s neck all the while.
Ajax bowed his back as far as it would go with Zhongli so close to him and pressing down all his
weight.

“A-am I good for you?” Ajax whimpered out. It was the same question again. “D-do I feel good?”

“You feel amazing,” Zhongli groaned into his neck before biting down. He felt himself grow
close.

“I-I’m good for you, right- ahh f-fuck! F-fuck… My ass feels so f-fucking good right?” Childe
moaned in a quivering voice under him. He was still crying. “T-this is the only c-cocksleeve- ahh,
you need, right? Just me? I-I’m good enough for you, right?”

Zhongli didn't really know what that question meant but he thought he knew how to answer.

“Perfect for me,” he groaned, moving his face back down to deeply kiss him. “My perfect fucking
slut.”
“I’m gonna cum,” Ajax whimpered into his kiss at those words. “I-it’s so good, I’m gonna-
gonna…”

“Me too,” Zhongli breathed against him. “I’m g-gonna c-cum.”

“Inside me,” Ajax begged, tightening his thighs around his sides. “Please, Zhongli, deep inside of
me.”

With that plea, Zhongli’s hips stuttered to a halt as deep as he could go as he groaned loudly into
Ajax’s mouth, a deep and consuming orgasm rocking him into the body under him even deeper. He
felt himself spill inside intensely, and the other eagerly took every drop while Zhongli’s slow and
long orgasm still lingered in every nerve of his body. Ajax quickly followed suit, moaning high and
loud as he spilled in between their chests at the feeling of being filled so much and so deeply.

Ajax moved his hands from Zhongli’s back to his head as he pushed it down deeper to kiss him
more passionately, both of them moaning into it and getting lost in the feeling of each other as their
mouths danced in a rhythm Zhongli could tap out on-demand at this point. Slow and steady, but
deep and full of motion. It was just as consuming as his orgasm, filling every part of his being as he
slowly came down from his high.

“So good,” Ajax sighed into his mouth when they parted. “I’m so full…”

“Ajax… you…” Zhongli couldn’t find the words, so he just pressed their lips together again.
Childe moaned into it and pushed his head down deeper as if Zhongli would float away if he didn’t
keep his grip.

“Say my name again,” Ajax breathed into him.

“Ajax,” Zhongli sighed as if the name was burned on his lips.

He kissed Zhongli again, more sweetly this time than desperate. Zhongli melted into it, wrapping
his arms around him and pulling him close.

They parted again, breathing heavy breaths while Zhongli just took his presence in and allowed it
to fill him. He felt whole. He didn’t know why that was the word he was using to describe how he
felt, but he felt like it fit. He felt whole when he was with Ajax like this. Complete, even, though he
didn’t really know what that meant.

“We should clean up,” Ajax said softly. Zhongli nodded to show that he understood and slowly
pulled out before leaning up and climbing off the bed.

He turned his head back to ask Ajax something but forgot what he was going to say when he
watched how globs of cum leaked out of his swollen and gaping hole. Something about seeing the
product of his work made great pride swell in his gut. Ajax was leaning back, chest visibly rising
and falling and stomach pulsing under the contractions his muscles were still making and the
thudding of his beating heart. His face was pink and flushed and stained with tears, dried spit, and
cum. His eyes were blue again. He was beautiful.

Those blue eyes met his. He never thought about how easy it was to drown in them.

“What?” Ajax asked him, snapping Zhongli back to reality.

“Sorry,” he apologized. “You just look beautiful.”

Ajax blushed a deep shade of red at these words and covered his face with his arm. “Shut up,” he
mumbled.

Zhongli left their interaction at that as he went to the bathroom to dampen a warm washcloth. A
few seconds passed of him preparing it and letting the water running from the sink heat before he
heard footsteps slowly approach and turned around to see Ajax walking up to him on wobbly legs.

“You should lay down,” Zhongli told him with a hint of a frown in his voice. “That can’t be
comfortable.”

“I should hurry,” Ajax mumbled. “You probably want me out of your hair soon.”

Zhongli tilted his head. “What do you mean?” he asked, confused.

“I… said some weird things when we… yeah.” His gaze was on the floor.

“What was weird, exactly? I don’t follow.” Insecurity began to settle in Zhongli’s gut. “Did I do
something wrong, Ajax?”

Ajax went quiet for a moment. “You did nothing wrong,” he said, and Zhongli knew it was the
truth. He could feel no falsehood or lie for his comfort. “You were great. I just… you know.”

“I don’t.”

Ajax went quiet again, then sighed and gently took the washcloth from Zhongli to wash his face
with. “I should’ve remembered that you were dense as all hell,” Ajax grumbled as he ran the sink to
splash water on his face. “Sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.”

“What did you say that was weird?”

Childe sighed and shook his head again. He started wiping the mess on his ass far too hastily. “It’s
nothing,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Ajax… shouldn’t we talk about this?”

“Don’t-” Ajax stopped himself. “I… I’ll see you again soon. This was fun, but don’t get too
impatient on me,” he said with a wink. Something about it looked forced to Zhongli. “You
wouldn’t mind showing me that domain you were talking about next time, yeah?”

“I would love to teach you more about the archon war,” Zhongli said with a nod. “I thought that
you were stay-”

“I’d love to stay, but that will just have to be next time,” Ajax smiled. That smile was forced too,
he knew. “I have so much work to do, you know?” He laughed a little. “Took a little toll on me
spending the whole day together. I’ll have to be smarter with my schedule next time.” Zhongli
wrapped a towel around his waist as he followed Ajax to the bedroom where he watched him dress
despite barely cleaning up. He hardly looked like he was suitable enough to go. “I really had fun,
really. I always enjoy our little sessions. Sorry for messing up your sheets and leaving like this, I’ll
make it up to you in the usual favor next time.”

“You really should at least take a bath or sleep-”

“I said I can’t.”

Far too quickly, Ajax… He wasn’t talking to his true self right now. Even someone as dense and
socially clueless as Zhongli knew he was knew something so obvious. Far too quickly Childe got
completely dressed. He was a mess. His shirt was on backward, shoes on the wrong foot, hair
ruffled like all hell, and mask on the opposite side of his head. He would look hilarious if Zhongli
wasn’t worried for him.

“You’re a mess and you’re not even cleaned up yet,” Zhongli told him in his usual matter-of-fact
tone. “It would be better if you stayed over and rested.” He wasn’t going because he had work
tomorrow. He knew this. He just didn’t know if it was appropriate to say that he knew this and he
didn’t know if it would make Childe angry to press him to stay or even if it was selfish to want
such a thing.

“It’s fine,” Childe said simply. “I’m fine, this is fine. I have to go now. Thank you, this was fun.
Lots of fun. You’ll show me that domain?”

“As I said, I certainly will-”

“Wonderful. Bye, Xiansheng,” Childe smiled. He said and did nothing else with that but leave his
apartment in a horribly concealed rush.

Zhongli thought on his red face and glassy eyes as he avoided eye contact throughout that whole
ordeal while he stood in the middle of his bedroom in a daze, fully naked other than the towel
around his waist. He thought about how Childe rushed and stumbled over his words as he closed
and locked the door Childe clumsily left open.

More in touch with human emotions when introduced to deep intimacy. Childe made this remark,
or, something like that. If this observation held any degree of truth, he could attempt to guess and
had the ability to possibly get the answer right.

Embarrassed. He must have been embarrassed by the words he apologized for saying while they
had intercourse. Yes, this made sense. But which words were worth being embarrassed over? He
had no issue asking to be degraded in the past, so that wasn’t it. Was there anything else that stuck
out as strange to Zhongli?

“This is the only cocksleeve you need, right? Just me? I’m good enough for you, right?”

He could still hear those words and hear him crying. That must have been it. He felt bad for being
proud of putting the pieces together so well since he knew he should continue to feel concerned for
Ch- Ajax. The two of them felt like different people sometimes. He went to the kitchen to brew
himself some tea to calm his mind.

Childe was not a self-conscious person, he knew this. His confidence was more than evident. If he
didn’t think he was good enough for him, he wouldn’t have initiated sex and flirted with him for so
long. It wouldn’t make any sense. Yes, that couldn’t have been it. Then…

Zhongli tsked to himself at the thought of Childe being jealous. It was absurdly out of character.
Childe had made it outstandingly clear that he wanted nothing but to be “friends with benefits” as
he put it, so it wouldn’t make sense. Plus, it wasn’t like there was anyone else who wanted to be
with him, therefore there was nothing to be jealous over. No one had ever openly expressed they
wanted to have sex with him except Childe. Both of them knew this. He was the only one.

There really was no one to be jealous over, he thought to himself in frustration as he sifted the tea
leaves Xingqiu gave him.

The water in the kettle was now heated to the perfect temperature. Zhongli brewed the tea
precisely as the younger man’s curly handwriting instructed him. It was a nice assortment, the box
 and the instruction card had a design decorated on both of them that had Xingqiu’s personality
written all over it in a way he couldn’t explain.

It was very nice tea, light and floral with a small hint of citrus that wasn’t too acidic and
overpowering to the gentle flowery aroma. Xingqiu had exquisite tastes in everything, Zhongli
decided. Didn’t he say he made this blend himself specifically for him? How thoughtful.

What could Childe possibly be upset over?

Chapter End Notes

CHILDE: I bet he’s thinking of having sex with Xingqiu

ZHONGLI: watrfl…. pretie.

On a different note, did you know that acids will make your cum taste sweeter?
Pineapple juice is pretty cool about that stuff. Consider drinking a glass a few hours
before you nut in someone’s mouth. Also, drink a lot of water to make the consistency
nice. No one likes the taste of overly thick and bitter cum, or, at least I don’t. Idk
about everyone else.

Seriously though, I see fics and porn and stuff all the time where person A says to
person B “yOuR cUm tAsTeS sO gOoD”. Bitch, no it’s not. You KNOW it’s not. That
shit’s nasty. It’s not about the person, it just be nasty. Let’s normalize it tasting like
shit so people don’t feel like their cum has to taste/others' cum will taste like lavender
rose petal honey-soaked fruit drops and not be surprised when that shits nasty.
Because it is. It is NASTY.

Anyways, thank you for reading and indulging (heehee hoohoo see what I did there) in
my rant. I just had to get that off my chest.
 I Only Want This With You
Chapter Summary

Childe and Zhongli take another walk through Liyue and find something strange. Or:
Childe wears something special for their night together.

Chapter Notes

Thank you u/shawty for giving me the idea for this chapter’s smexy time. May you
find many a blessing.

I made up some lore for the sake of the scene where they go to the domain that isn’t
canon but still follows along with the storyline. Please forgive any inconsistencies. I’m
just adding that in for the sake of this fic’s plot. Also, I’m too lazy to come up with
lyrics myself so I referenced the song Iota by Angel Olsen in this chapter. It’s a swag
song. I put it on the playlist I made.

Oh yeah, I made a playlist for this fic. If you have a Spotify, here’s the link:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4bo08Yj6rvqAVKgOp1HFRh?
si=pSUskukdRo62uqOqIX3ucw

Also, what the heck?? 10,000 hits?? This is too much attention and I don’t know what
to do with it. I don’t know what to do with y’all’s sweet comments, either. I cry at
every notification and love reading all of them. I also love replying to everyone and I
love engaging. Thank you for your validation, good wishes, and kind messages. I love
you.

All of the love and motivation of me recovering from my not-so-cash-money week

I’ve gotten sent my way is truly the Minecraft of sex.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Golden noons in Liyue were one of Zhongli’s favorite things. The hot and damp glow of humid
days made it a little hard to breathe sometimes, but the humidity and heat were charming. Well, to
him at least. Any time was a perfect time to eat some food at Wamin, but afternoons like these
were the most perfect.

Childe, on the other hand, didn’t look like he was having as much fun. He was visibly sweating,
fanning out his shirt, and chugged three iced glasses of water in only ten minutes. Today was their
originally agreed time to meet, two days since they last saw each other. Childe greeted him at
Wamin at their agreed time as if nothing weird happened, which confused Zhongli a little. But he
didn’t press it, and soon, he completely forgot about the other night.

Childe cursed a little to himself, fished an ice cube from his cup, and ran it over his forehead after
letting go of his shame. This caught a few stares from other tables.
“I observe that you are still not used to the climate of Liyue,” Zhongli said in a small attempt to
make a joke. To his delight, Childe laughed quietly and shook his head, a small smile crossing his
face.

“It’s a bit different for sure,” Childe grinned. “Back at home, I’d be worried about getting frostbite
again instead of how much I’m sweating.”

“Frostbite… again?”

“It happens to almost everyone who has to travel in Snezhnaya. Well, when they first start out and
act stupid at least.”

Zhongli furrowed his eyebrows. “That’s… a little concerning.”

“Well,” Childe began, nodding to the waiter who came by with more iced water in silent thanks,
“how often do travelers get heatstroke here?”

“It’s not terribly common.”

Childe paused. “Maybe people in Liyue are a little smarter than the people at home,” Childe
laughed.

Zhongli chuckled in return. “Have you had the time to learn how to use chopsticks as of late?”

“We’ll just have to find out when we get our food.”

“So, no?”

“I’m sorry!” Childe cried dramatically. “It’s just so much easier to eat with a fork! I can’t figure it
out!”

“Why do you apologize?” Zhongli asked with a tilt of his head.

“I wanted to learn for you,” Childe pouted. “It shouldn’t be that hard, but it is!”

“Ah, so it is simply the tool you are least adept with?”

A lighthearted joke sent a flicker in Childe’s eyes and a challenging smirk on his face that was a
little more intense than Zhongli expected. “Oh?” Childe smirked. “Least adept with? I can think of
at least two hundred different ways I can cut down an opponent with chopsticks.”

“And yet you can’t eat with them?” Zhongli felt a small smile creep across his face to the delight
of the man in front of him.

Childe laughed a hearty and loud sound. “When did you get so teasing, Zhongli?” Childe smirked.
“Challenging me like that just might get me riled up for a fight!”

“Ah, my apologies,” Zhongli said in his usual cool tone. “I did not mean to insult-”

“You did nothing of the sort!” Childe smiled. “I’ll show you! I’m gonna eat with them and be the
best chopstick user in Liyue. My strength is unparalleled! You just wait-”

“Two Wamin boiled fish stews for Mr. Zhongli and Mr. Childe!”

Xiangling hummed a cheery tune to herself as she set both of Zhongli and Childe’s meals down in
front of them. “It’s good to see you two again!” she sang. “It’s been a while!”
“It’s lovely to see you as well, Xiangling,” Zhongli nodded. “It’s a pleasure to see you are cooking
again.”

“Me too! It’s been a while. I went on another adventure with Aether,” Xiangling said with a small
sigh. “It was fun, really, but I couldn’t stand not being back in the kitchen to try cooking with all
the cool ingredients I found! So many slimes! And whopperflower nectar! It’s surprisingly sweet.
I’m thinking about making a cake… Ooh, I’m rambling again.”

“Don’t worry,” Childe said with a returned smile. “How is Aether doing, by the way? I haven’t
seen him in a while.”

“He’s great! Still looking for his sister, but great! He said he’s going to stay in Mondstadt for a bit
longer, but would come visit as soon as he’s done. Oh! Mr. Childe, he actually told me to tell you
he’s ready for a rematch! I don’t know what that means, but those are his words!” Xiangling
tucked her serving tray under her arm. “It really is so good to see two people I know at once here. I
really wanted to talk to a group again. Not that I don’t mind one on one time, I just missed it.
Usually, Xingqiu and Chongyung would swing by, but not recently. And Hu Tao said she doesn’t
want to bother with their drama. In fact, the four of us haven’t been together in a while…”

Zhongli and Childe both raised an eyebrow. “Oh?” Childe said, sounding slightly amused to
Zhongli’s possible misconception.

Xiangling looked to either side then leaned in a little. “I’m not much to gossip,” she said in a
hushed voice, “but Hu Tao said they both got in a really big fight. Like, a really big and bad fight
two weeks ago. And Chongyung is refusing to speak to him and Xingqiu’s super mad, too. So, we
haven’t all been together in a really long time. I actually went with Aether on his travels so I could
just take a break from all of it. I hope they fix it. I miss them. I mean, I still see them. They both
still come by, but never at the same time. I miss seeing both of them together I meant to say-”

“Xiangling! Order up!”

Xiangling jumped back up to her full height. “Sorry! Gotta go back to work. I’ll see both of you
soon, enjoy your meal!”

Xiangling leaped away and left the two of them alone. Zhongli turned his head back to Childe who
was looking at him with a weird expression.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli asked. Instantly, Childe’s composure returned.

“Yeah!” he smiled. “Guess we can find out now if I can actually use my chopsticks.”

“What of the ones I gave you?”

Childe raised an eyebrow. “What- oh, yeah! I remember. The phoenix and dragon ones. I, um…”
Childe laughed sheepishly.

“Did you lose them? I can get you another pair.”

Childe rummaged through his belongings and pulled out a sleek black and golden case.

“Ah,” Zhongli voiced. “That’s a relief. You still have them.”

“Are you relieved that I kept up with your gift, or relieved you don’t have to spend more mora?”

Zhongli chuckled and took a bite from his food. Delicious as always. “Both, perhaps,” he
hummed.

Childe was staring with deep intensity at his chopsticks as he carefully picked up a piece of fish.
He looked happy. Really happy. Zhongli couldn’t help but have images from the previous night
flash through his head. Was this something he simply shouldn’t bring up? He felt like he should
talk about it since it had been bothering him, but Childe was acting as if nothing happened this
entire time and he didn’t want to ruin that. Maybe this was something to just be forgotten…

No. He would talk to him. Maybe not now, but soon. He thought it best to communicate with him.

Childe looked so happy. He’d hate to spoil his mood.

Maybe that topic was best saved for later. It just wasn’t a good time, he decided as he watched the
man in front of him struggle and curse.

Childe slowly brought the piece of fish to his mouth and ate it. He looked up to Zhongli with an
expression that reminded Zhongli of a face worn by a kid who bested another in a game.

“Ha!” Childe cheered. “I did it! What about it? Least adept tool my ass! How does defeat taste?”

“You did well,” Zhongli hummed with a soft smile. “You learned quicker than I expected you to.”

“What? You think I’m slow or something?”

Zhongli took another bite and chewed it thoroughly. “Only a little.”

“I’ll fight you!” Childe exclaimed. “I’m having enough of teasing Zhongli! What happened to you
being so shy?!”

Zhongli hummed in response, fighting the grin threatening to take over his face. “You have taught
me to be direct quite well, Ajax.”

Childe laughed again, hugging his sides and letting a few people turn their heads in their direction.
“Dirty talk?! Now?! I’m practically talking to a different person!”

“How was that statement sexual? I was simply making an observation.”

“You’re too much!” Childe giggled. He was giggling. That was… charming. That was definitely
the correct word. Childe was quite charming when he was relaxed.

“Ah, that’s right,” Zhongli remembered. “We have time to visit the domain of the god of iron if
that is something you still wish to do.”

“You don’t have to take me,” Childe smiled with a mouth full of stew. His cheeks were puffed out,
rosy, and his eyes were still full of that rare sparkle. He looked cute. A lot of the things he did were
cute. “I’m even fine with just walking around, you know?”

“So you are no longer interested?”

“I am!” Childe declared. “I’m interested! Thank you, Zhongli. I’m glad that you’re willing to teach
me about Liyue’s history. I know it means a lot to you.”

Zhongli’s heart fluttered and he felt a small heat cross over his ears. “Thank you for allowing me to
talk to you. Most find my lectures troublesome and boring.”

Childe giggled again. “Zhongli Xiansheng,” he sang, “are you blushing?!”

Zhongli cleared his throat and covered his warm ear with a spare hand. “I am not,” he declined.

“You look red.”

“The stew is quite spicy.”

“You did a number on me ordering hot food on a sweltering day like this.”

“I find the weather quite nice, actually.”

Childe groaned and fanned out his shirt with one free hand while he shoveled a big bite into his
mouth with the other and swallowed it eagerly. “Surely you’re not even a little bit hot?”

Zhongli sighed and loosened his tie a little while looking away from the eyes he could feel piercing
into his neck. “I suppose.”

Childe was quiet for a moment. Those eyes were still on his loosened tie. “Zhongli,” Childe began
in a playful tune, “you don’t have to tease me anymore, being so playful and teasing. We could just
say hell with the domain and go to my place and get straight to the point.” He leaned in and hushed
his voice a little. “I got a surprise for you actually. Do you want to go ahead and try it on me? I
have lots of fun things planned.”

Zhongli choked on his water.

“That… is best saved for later,” Zhongli mumbled. “I personally have gotten quite excited for the
rest of our outing.”

“Good things come to those who wait,” Childe decided with a sigh. He was quiet again. Zhongli
looked up from his meal he was starting to finish to meet with those dark blue eyes.

They were so deep. He felt like he was drowning in an endless sea whenever he looked into them.
There was a certain intensity within those eyes, something that was unsaid swimming in them. It
was twinking at Zhongli in a way he knew he should understand but he couldn’t. He wished he
could understand.

“Is something wrong?” Zhongli asked.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Childe said with a soft smile. “I was… just thinking.”

“What about?”

Childe looked slightly distant. “Life is beautiful,” he hummed. “Life… is truly beautiful.”

___

The afternoon sun was beginning to set but it wasn’t getting any colder outside.

Zhongli hardly noticed the heat until he looked over to the other walking alongside him through
the winding paths of the countryside. Childe was chugging some water he kept in a flask by his hip
and there were sweat stains running down his shirt. His hair was sticking to his forehead and he
was taking time to pour water over the back of his neck and wrists every now and then to cool
himself off. Zhongli was surprised he didn’t have to stop to urinate yet.
It was still a beautiful day. Not a single cloud was in the sky and the birds were chirping loudly and
joyfully. Everything was scenic, beautifully scenic. Zhongli strangely felt that it looked a little
more beautiful with Childe by his side.

He looked back over to him. Still chugging water and an absolute mess.

“Are you alright?”

“How are you not sweating in all those clothes?!” Childe gasped, fanning himself furiously.

“I suppose I am simply used to the weather. You may be consuming too many fluids,” Zhongli
told him with a frown in his tone. Childe laughed and waved his concern away, putting the now
empty flask on his hip and wiping sweat off his forehead.

“Trust me, it’s fine. I’ve drank more in the past.”

“Speaking of drinks,” Zhongli hummed as they continued to walk, “It has been a while since we’ve
gotten some. Is that something you’re still interested in? I remember you mentioning such an
activity in the past.”

“Not anytime soon, sorry. I’ve actually decided to stay clean for a while,” Childe said with a
shrug.

“Oh? You are straying away from alcohol?” Concern began to rise in Zhongli’s chest. “Childe,
you’re not…”

“An alcoholic? No,” Childe said with a shake of his head. “I just think I should make some
healthier choices.”

“I’m glad to hear that. What brought about this change?”

Childe strayed his eyes and laughed a little. “Well,” he sheepishly began, “last time we uh… spent
the night together, I noticed you made some faces when you… sucked me off.”

Zhongli tilted his head in confusion.

“I think my nut tastes bad because of how much alcohol I drink.”

Zhongli processed his words for a second, then began to laugh softly. The grass was crunching a
little under his shoe. Maybe a drought was coming along. “I wasn’t expecting that answer,” he
chuckled. “Though, I am not complaining about any motivation you may have for making a
healthier lifestyle for yourself.”

Childe laughed with him. “Thanks for your support, Zhongli.”

“Certainly. Oh, here it is.”

Zhongli pointed to a worn-down and small building that resembled that of a temple in the distance.
It was small and hardly noticeable, blending into the cliff it was sitting against. “That is where the
God of Iron spent his leisures, as well as his resting place.”

“It’s… small.”

“You haven’t been inside yet.”

“True. Can you tell me about him?” Childe asked as they began to walk towards it.
“He was powerful but reckless,” Zhongli recalled. “ He highly valued the art of forgery, as to be
expected. Many forging practices used in modern Liyue come from he and his people’s teachings.”

“His people?” Childe asked as they approached the entrance. Zhongli put his gloved hand on the
cool stone door.

“They were a people of miners and blacksmiths. The god of iron blessed them with ore and tools so
they could build great defense and a variety of weapons during the war. But, as I have said before,
he was reckless.”

“What happened to him?”

“Recklessness leads to foolishness, foolishness leads to mistakes, and mistakes lead to failure. He
was so confident in his weaponry, strength, and power that he disregarded the idea of someone
being stronger. His sense of false security was his downfall. It is all too easy for confidence to
blind someone of all the ill coming their way and keep them from predicting when their plan may
crumble apart. That was his weakness.”

“So, he was so sure that nothing bad could ever happen to him that he was unprepared for when it
did?”

“Precisely. He often took advantage of and stole precious things from other gods and used what
they lent against them out of selfishness. He did not think of what could happen when he was
discovered nor worried about the consequences as in his mind he could kill any god he pleased. He
was slaughtered purely out of vengeance from another,” Zhongli continued as he opened the door.
“While I was not the one to strike him down, the god who did… uh…”

Zhongli trailed off when he looked inside of the temple. The solid walls of iron that trailed deep
underground and floors that were still as pristine as ever were… barren. This was odd. Childe
looked at him.

His hand pushed the door open with ease. This was also odd.

“Zhongli? Is everything alright?”

Zhongli wordlessly stepped inside and looked around. “Huh,” was all he managed to say as he
observed the vast emptiness.

“Uh… Zhongli? What’s wrong?”

Zhongli looked back to Childe who was following him inside. “I must be mistaken,” Zhongli
decided. “Perhaps my memory fooled me and we are in the incorrect place. My apologies.”

“Apologies? What do you mean? This isn’t it?”

Zhongli paused in thought. “There should be… a lot of items here.”

Zhongli saw Childe’s face drop into an expression he could have sworn was angry. But, there was
no reason for him to be angry. That must have been a mistake on his part. “Childe?”

Childe didn’t respond. He looked around and then to Zhongli. “This… is supposed to have a lot
of… items in it, you say?”

“Yes, that is what I said.”

Childe took a moment to respond. “Huh,” he said. “That’s… interesting.”

“What’s interesting?”

Childe was walking around now, observing the bare floors and the quiet of the domain. It shone in
the bit of light seeping through the door that bounced over the metal encompassing all around them
and echoing with every step the other took. Childe turned his head back to him.

“The walk was fun,” he said with his usual smile. “You’re right, this just wasn’t the right place.
Thank you for showing me anyway, though! I enjoy the time we spent together.”

“Now that I think about it… this is surely the correct place.”

Childe didn’t respond, so Zhongli continued.

“Only, the last time I was here… this domain was filled to the brim with ore and forgery. Perhaps
over the thousand years it has been, some treasure hoarders found it.” Zhongli thought again. “But
the seal on the door would have taken great power to break…”

“What do you think happened?”

Zhongli thought for a moment, then shrugged. “It has been a long time,” he decided with a soft
smile. “It is not impossible for me to be mistaken from time to time as I am sure you are aware. I
apologize for wasting your time, Ajax.”

“You didn’t waste my time,” Childe assured him. “I honestly have more fun being with you than
seeing all this. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me about it.”

“I am always more than happy to teach you about Liyue’s history,” Zhongli said with a nod. “Is
there anything else you wanted to see?”

“I would actually like to go ahead back to my place,” Childe hummed. “Unless you wanted to walk
around for a while longer?”

“Would you mind if we did? I would not want this trip to be all for nothing.”

“Not at all,” Childe grinned. “So, where to next?”

“I suppose I could show you Salt Terrea. It’s not terribly far.”

“That sounds good! Let’s do it.”

Childe turned away and went out the door with a hum in his throat while Zhongli followed. He
couldn’t understand why, but he felt, no, he knew he wasn’t mistaken about anything. He thought
he must be, but his intuition was saying otherwise. He had a bad feeling.

Not that it was anything to worry about, of course.

___

The rest of their walk was pleasant but short-lived. Childe said he didn’t want to get back so late
again, so they turned to head to his apartment when the sun was sinking into a warm orange in the
sky. Zhongli thought the warm colors matched his hair. It looked especially soft today. He
supposed none of the thoughts he had were terribly strange. He was learning to be more
comfortable in them.

Childe was still humming to himself as he closed the door behind the two of them when they
entered his apartment, locking it before stepping away. “I’m going to go to the bathroom to get
ready,” Childe sang with a wave of his hand. “You’re alright with getting started right away,
right?”

“Are you impatient?” Zhongli asked with a small smile.

“Just a bit. Be patient with me, though. I’ll come to the bedroom when I’m done, so go on there
and wait for me. I have a little surprise for you.”

With that, Childe stepped away and left Zhongli alone. In all honesty, he did want to talk to him
some more, but maybe they would still have time when they were done with this activity.

Zhongli moved to Childe’s room and awkwardly sat on the edge of his bed. He heard the shower
start to run from the conjoined bathroom. It was quiet for a while other than a few soft grunts and
gasps every now and then he heard Childe make and the water hitting the floor. Those quiet noises
he was making then went still and everything felt still.

Then the tune Childe was humming earlier began to ring from behind the door in a song. He was
singing.

Childe wasn’t that bad of a singer. It was charming. He never heard the song before, so it must
have been something from his homeland or something new he hadn’t been introduced to yet. He
found it hard to keep up with the trends these days. Speaking of, he would love to hear more about
where he grew up from Childe. Maybe Zhongli would be the one to ask the questions next time
they took a stroll.

Zhongli loved taking strolls. What did Childe love to do? Now that he thought about it… he didn’t
know that much about the other. He was always the one talking. He would take more initiative, he
decided.

He knew he liked fighting, that was a given. He didn’t think that would be a very good outing,
though. He himself never found violence pleasant and could hardly see the appeal. Maybe it was
their different backgrounds.

Whenever he asked Childe about his favorite things, he would get the same response that was
something like “everything is beautiful and life is beautiful” or “you can’t be picky about those
things because it’s counterproductive.” He knew he liked ice fishing. Did he like that for the
activity itself or the food?

Would he like to fish in Liyue? No, it would be too hot. Zhongli grumbled a little to himself. He
didn’t know why he was thinking about this so much. The shower stopped. Childe was still
singing.

“If only all our dreams were coming true,” the voice behind the bathroom continued to sing. It
was easier to make out what he was saying now that the water stopped. He really had a pretty
voice. “ Maybe there'd be some time for me and you, If only all the world could sing along.”

Childe paused for a moment. He heard the rustling of fabric and a small curse. Zhongli bit down a
chuckle.
“In perfect rhythm to the perfect song.”

Zhongli closed his eyes. This was a lovely moment. He didn’t know if he should focus on the now
or trying to burn it in his memory.

“If only all our hopes were to be here, We'd just close our eyes when we want to disappear, If only
all the love we needed was gained.”

The sink was running now.

“If only we could always stay the same, If only we could always stay the same.”

The water stopped running. More rustling of fabric, a couple more curses. Zhongli fought back the
urge to fall asleep. He was singing so softly and peacefully, like he was scared Zhongli would hear
him if he was any louder.

He’d love to fall asleep to that voice.

“We'd close our doors and then we'd go to bed, We'd never have to do it all again, There wouldn't
be one thing to fight about, And time would turn our bodies inside out.”

Childe released a long breath.

“And time would turn our bodies inside out.”

He continued to hum that tune for a little while longer until Zhongli heard the door open.

Zhongli opened his eyes, snapping back to reality. He turned his head over to look at Childe and
flushed.

He was wearing… what in the world was that even?! It was hardly clothing and definitely not
underwear. His skin was still a little damp, glistening while water droplets fell from his wet hair
that was definitely dried in a rush. And on his skin was some black thing that looked like a small
bathing suit, only covering his intimates and strapping around his sides. Those straps went down
his thighs and wrapped around buckles hugging them. He had a garter belt around his waist, but he
hardly knew what it was suspending.

It was all slightly transparent as well. Somehow, he looked even more exposed than he would
naked. Zhongli tried to flicker his eyes away in embarrassment, but he couldn’t look away even if
he tried.

“Like what you see?” Childe asked with a smirk. Zhongli stuttered over his words.

“Uh… what… p-prompted this?” Zhongli managed to stutter. His face felt hot. He couldn’t stop
staring.

“I still remember you reading that cross-dressing porno, so I thought you’d like it. I didn’t go for
the ones that were super feminine though because that isn’t really my scene.” Childe shuffled a
little. “If you don’t like it, it’s fine. I can just return it-”

“That would not be necessary,” Zhongli heard himself say. “You… you look fantastic.”

Childe grinned widely. “Well thank you,” he hummed. “I bought this so you could look at me,
Zhongli.” He stepped a little closer with a wicked smile. Zhongli’s heart was thudding so loudly.
“You want to watch me play with myself while all dressed up for you?”
Zhongli barely processed the words Childe said. “Sure,” he said quietly. His eyes kept on trailing
down on how the… whatever Childe was wearing was cupping his cock. The bulge between his
legs was so cute.

And just like that, he was hard.

Childe sat on the opposite end of the bed with that smile still plastered across his face, sat against
the frame and pillows, and spread his legs open. “Watch me,” he said with a smooth voice while he
trailed delicate fingers in circles around the inner and uppermost parts of his thigh. “I want you to
get a good look at your meal before you dig in.”

Zhongli stifled a groan from leaving his throat as he turned around to face the other and made
himself comfortable. Childe’s fingers moved from his thighs and were now rubbing lightly against
the steadily growing bulge barely hidden under his garment.

“I’ve thought about doing this for a while,” Childe hummed. “You can touch yourself too. I wanna
see how you do it.”

Zhongli turned his face to the side and felt himself blush deeper. “It’s…”

“Intimate? Embarrassing? Feels like a lot right?” Childe laughed lightly. “Masturbating feels
revealing when someone else can see everything, doesn’t it? That’s exactly why I want to do it,
Zhongli. You need to stop being so shy. It’s just me, after all.”

Zhongli thought on his words then released a breath. “You’re right,” he decided. With shaky hands,
he started to remove his coat. His heart was still pounding in his chest and his nerves were already
lit on fire.

“Are you nervous or are you uncomfortable?” Childe then asked with a hint of concern in his
voice. “Don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to.”

“I do want to,” he declared. “This is completely fine with me.”

“Okay. If you think it’s too much, you’ll just say the word, right?”

Zhongli hardly thought him asking that question was necessary. He very much wanted to try this
out. “I will,” he settled with saying.

Childe chuckled as Zhongli made hasty work of undoing his pants. “You’re just as impatient as
me, right?” Childe sang with a small tilt of his head. He was still lightly palming his slowly
hardening arousal. “You can’t wait to get yourself off in front of me while I watch while I do the
same?”

“Y-yeah,” Zhongli managed as he struggled to pull his pants off out of haste. He couldn’t keep his
eyes off of him. He felt like he was losing his mind.

“You can’t stop looking at me,” Childe smiled. “You really like what you see, don’t you?”

“I very much do.”

Childe let out a soft sound as he ground his hand down harder. “Hurry up,” Childe said with
impatience laced in his tone. “I’m not going to really start until you’re ready.”

Zhongli threw his pants aside and began to hastily unbutton his shirt. “You don’t have to remove
everything, do you?” Childe asked with a tilt of his head.
“It didn’t feel fair if I wasn’t also nude.”

“I’m not nude.”

“You might as well be,” Zhongli joked with a small smile.

Childe laughed. “You really have gotten playful,” he smiled. “I like it.”

The air felt more relaxed at the sound of Childe’s laughter. Zhongli was able to chuckle his nerves
away as he shrugged his shirt off and pulled down his boxers while Childe’s eyes locked on his
intimates.

“I’m still not used to how big you are,” Childe breathed. “I can’t believe all of that was inside of
me.”

Zhongli settled again and grunted a small sound. “We’ll commence that again after this if you’re
okay with that.”

“Oh, I’m more than okay with that.” Childe cupped himself with a sigh. “I’m going to start. You
can whenever you feel like it.”

“Okay.”

Childe pulled his garment to the side, exposing his half-hard cock and wrapping it in his hand. He
started to slowly tease the shaft and tip with a shaky breath while keeping eye contact with Zhongli
all the while. “Does this look good to you?” he breathed.

Oh yeah. He was still here. Everything in his mind was just the man in front of him. He was
transfixed. That foresty and musky scent he loved to smell on Childe was completely drowned by
whatever herby soap he used, but it was just as intoxicating. His head was beginning to spin as he
gripped himself.

Zhongli began to slowly pump his length with a shaky breath. “You look amazing,” he breathed.
“So amazing.”

Childe moaned lightly and began to pump himself too. “You too,” Childe shook. “Fuck, you’re so
sexy, Zhongli.” Childe’s eyes moved from his own to his cock as he moved his hand up and down
in a steady motion. “Can I taste that a little when we’re done?” he breathed. “You just look so
fucking good.”

Taste? Oh, he knew what he meant. “You can now if you’d like,” he offered.

“Not now. I’ve been fantasizing about this way too much to stop already.” Childe was now
pumping himself faster. “Your cock looks so good,” Childe continued. “Fills me up so much when
you fuck me with it. You- hah, wanna stuff me with it again?”

“Before or after you taste it?” Zhongli returned in a grunt. He heard Childe laugh again.

“I can suck you dry after you cum in my ass,” Childe smiled as he ran a finger over the slit of his
tip. “You can fill me up on both ends.”

Zhongli groaned at those words. The sound of skin slapping skin was steadily getting louder and
flooding his ears. “You’re desperate for me everywhere, aren’t you?”

Childe let out his first real moan of the night and began to pump himself harder, tilting his head
back a little and letting his mouth fall open. “Fuck, yes,” he sighed. “You can ruin me everywhere
as much as you fucking want.” Childe took his spare hand to his mouth and began to lick in
between his fingers while Zhongli stared transfixed. He then spat on them, sat on his heels, and
reached his hand behind him.

“Are you about to finger yourself?” Zhongli asked while moving his hand faster. Childe chuckled
in response.

“Have to get myself ready for you.”

Zhongli watched Childe’s face suddenly morph into ecstasy and listened to the long and passionate
moan that ripped out of his lungs when he presumed the first finger slid inside. Zhongli could hear
it squelching along with the increasing sound of Childe’s hand slapping his abdomen as he pumped
himself faster.

“You don’t need more lube?” Zhongli managed to gasp. Childe smiled wickedly.

“I actually got myself wet and stretched out for you in the shower, but got too impatient to finish
the job.”

The thought of Childe lubing himself up and fucking himself on his fingers in the shower was
almost too much on him. Childe was rocking his hips back and forth a little now, resting his head
back and letting out soft and lewd moans with every pump.

“Can I, ahh, add a second finger?” Childe breathed, looking back to him through his eyelashes.
Zhongli was starting to leak over his hand.

“You don’t have to ask for my permission.”

“But I want to. Is that alright?” Childe’s legs were beginning to shake. “Can you tell me how much
I’m allowed to have?”

Childe’s hand was rolling over his own leaking cock, pink and wet. It was a lot to take it. Zhongli’s
mind was starting to blank out. “I certainly can,” he grunted out. “You- nngh, can add a s-second
finger.”

Childe did so, judging from the way his back arched and his voice rang out a pitch higher. “I wish
it was your fingers fucking my hole,” Childe gasped as he started rocking again. “They’re so long
and good, f-fuck, they, ahn, always hit the best spots.”

Zhongli moaned out a low and rough sound. “Tell me more,” he demanded, voice now a low growl
resonating from his chest.

“They feel s-so fucking good,” Childe moaned. “And your cock is amazing. I’ve, ahh, n-never had
something f-fucking me so deep. I think of it all the time.”

“When do you think of it, Ajax?”

Ajax moaned long and loud. “When I’m alone I can only think about your c-cock,” he whimpered.
“P-please, can I add a third one? I want more.”

“You certainly may.”

Ajax arched his back and cried out as the squelching noises got louder. “I’ve fu- ahh- fucked
myself o-on my fingers so much alone,” he moaned. His hand was moving so fast. “But it was
never enough. F-fuck, Zhongli, I need your cock. I can’t c-cum without thinking about it. Ahh, I
need it so bad.”

Zhongli felt himself get close. “Keep going,” he gasped. His head was swimming. He had no idea
he would love this so much. Those straps around Ajax’s body, how his back was arching, those
sweet words he wanted to kiss out of those lips so bad… it was so much. He loved it.

“It fills, ahh! It fills me up so fucking good,” Ajax continued with a wobbly smile on his wrecked
face. “Y-your cum is so hot and thick, it- ahh, f-feels so good inside me.”

The heat in Zhongli’s gut was getting dangerously intense. “Are you close?” he managed to ask.
Ajax whimpered in response.

“I’m close,” he gasped. “F-fuck, Zhongli, I’m gonna cum thinking about your cock inside me. I’m
g-gonna cum thinking about…”

Zhongli didn’t hear the rest when his orgasm crashed over him like a tidal wave, filling his ears
and every other part of his body with thick and hot pleasure that pulsed through him in throbs. He
moaned a long sound as he spilled in his hand, basking in ecstasy that felt like it would never end.
When he slowly began to came to and rode out his high and aftershocks, he heard Ajax whimper
then cry out as he too climaxed.

They made eye contact for a second. Ajax was heaving breaths, chest rising and falling in deep and
slow motions. His face still looked red and blissed out, mouth hung open and drool peeking out of
the corners. Those deep blue eyes were so intense. He looked beautiful. Those lips looked
beautiful.

He couldn’t wait another second.

Zhongli quickly leaned over to hover over him and crashed their lips together without warning.
Ajax moaned into his mouth and quickly kissed him back, lacing messy fingers in his hair while
their mouths danced, not that Zhongli cared in the slightest. Zhongli gripped his sides with his own
messy hands and pulled him down so he was lying down and pinned his weight over him.

“Z-Zhongli-” Ajax managed in between consuming kisses as his tongue invaded the other’s mouth.
Ajax whimpered against it and tangled their legs together. Zhongli parted from his lips for a
second, still close enough so their mouths were brushing against each other and they were
breathing in each other’s breaths.

“What is it, Ajax,” he breathed. The body under him was shaking.

“You’re a really good kisser.”

Those words settled in Zhongli, then he began to laugh lightly. “It’s about time, isn’t it,” he smiled.
Ajax began to chuckle too.

“Right about damn time for sure. Do it again.”

Zhongli didn’t need to be told twice. He dived back in for another deep kiss while Ajax’s hand
morphed in his hair and they melted together. Zhongli, without meaning to, rolled his hips in a long
motion and was met with Ajax bucking his hips up and moaning again in his mouth.

“I want you,” Ajax managed to gasp. Zhongli broke their kiss with a loud smack and moved down
to his neck to suck harshly.
“I want you too,” Zhongli breathed. His hands moved to grip Ajax’s hips to pull them up to his
own before reaching a hand to his ass to pull the string (??) that barely covered his hole aside. “I
need you.”

Ajax moaned and began to grind down against him. “Please,” he gasped. “Please, Zhongli.”

Zhongli, without really meaning to, bit down on Ajax’s neck with more force than he intended.
This earned a sharp cry from the other and a quick arch of his back.

“S-Sorry,” Zhongli apologized, moving back up to look at the mark. It was dark and bruising
quickly with red dents where his teeth sank it. He could see the punctures from his fangs. Guilt
settled in his gut. “I should have been more responsible-”

“What did you do wrong?” Ajax asked with a tilt of his head. Zhongli blinked.

“I bit you.”

“Yeah, you did. And?”

“Uh… you…”

“Liked it? Mhm. Do it again.”

Zhongli, at that invitation, leaned back down to bite on another spot on his neck. Ajax cried out far
too lewdly while holding his head down with his hands and pressing it down deeper. “Just like
that,” he gasped. He was starting to tremble. “Zhongli, Z-Zhongli…”

He was already completely hard again. Zhongli moved his hands down onto his waist as he rolled
his hips again and felt the tip of Ajax’s leaking length. He was already losing his mind in arousal.

Zhongli moved down further to bite harder and suck with just as much force. He felt like he was
claiming him completely. The thought of someone seeing him littered in marks and knowing he
was his lit something primal in his gut. A swarm of possessiveness flooded his mind as he nibbled
and licked affectionately on the new bruises he was leaving all over him before sinking his teeth in
again.

“F-fuck, that’s gonna leave a mark,” Ajax laughed. Zhongli lightly kissed his neck before moving
back to face him.

“Is that okay?”

“Hell yeah.”

Zhongli began to nibble and suck on his jawline, feeling the vibrations of his moans as those
fingers in his hair began to grip it tightly. “Zhongli,” he moaned weakly, “can you… Go ahead
and…”

Zhongli understood instantly. He sat up so he was sitting upright on his knees and threw Ajax’s
legs over his shoulders without thinking of what he was doing, lifting the other’s lower body off
the bed completely and letting only his head and shoulders have contact with it. “Go ahead and
fuck you?” he asked as he lined himself up. Ajax whimpered under him.

“You’re gonna fuck me like this?” he whispered as his heels hooked in place behind Zhongli’s
back. Zhongli smiled.
“You said you wanted to be watched tonight, correct? I want to look at you.”

Ajax whimpered in response. Zhongli began to press the tip against his puckering entrance. “You
want me to, right?” he growled.

“I do,” Ajax whined. “Please, just- ahh, fuck!”

Zhongli held onto Ajax’s shaking legs for support as he slowly pressed inside. Ajax jolted and
twitched, face twisting in ecstasy and mouth falling open again as he sunk in.

He looked so pretty. His eyes were glazed over and tongue resting at the edge of his bottom lip,
ears as red as his face and still damp hair sticking to his forehead. His neck was bruised and littered
in swollen bite marks, chest rising and falling in deep breaths, cum and precome smeared over his
abdomen from earlier and his leaking cock. The pink tip was swollen and striking against the deep
black of his garment it was poking out of. It looked so good against his pale skin. It was striking.
His thighs muffin topped a little over the straps that were sticking to him. His entire body was
glistening in sweat and smelled so good. It was like Zhongli’s senses were heightened tenfold
whenever he was around him.

He was definitely asking him to put it back. He didn’t think he would be able to get the sight out of
his head any time soon.

Zhongli bottomed out with a grunt and Ajax whimpered. When he pulled back halfway to sink back
in again, Ajax’s muscles rippled around him and he moaned a high and needy sound.

“Just like that,” he gasped as Zhongli continued to rock himself back and forth. “Ahh, f-fuck just
like that!”

“This is good?” Zhongli grunted as he snapped forward and earned a high cry from the other. “It
feels good?”

“Fuck yes! It’s s-so- ahh, g-good, Zhongli…”

He was squeezing down on him so tightly. Zhongli looked back down to that leaking cock and got
an idea.

He moved one hand down from Ajax’s thigh and started to stroke it in a steady rhythm as he
picked up the pace. Ajax began to writhe with widening eyes, arching his back and throwing his
hands over his head in pure submission as he moaned louder.

“W-when y-you, ahh! D-do both… I-if you do both, Zhongli! F-fuck, Zhongli!”

He wanted to fuck Ajax until his name was the only thing left on those glistening and swollen lips.
He began to pound himself inside with a loud groan, gripping Ajax harder and pumping him faster.
Ajax blubbered out something incoherent as his head leaned back and exposed that marked neck
beautifully.

He looked so fucked out of his mind. His body was splotching from the sudden blood rush to his
head and he could see sweat beads rolling down his sides. Ajax’s whines were being punched out
of him with every thrust forward and slap of damp skin against damp skin. Zhongli didn’t know if
those noises were actually loud or if he was just sensitive.

He hardly could care how loud they were being. He just cared to tell Ajax through his body that he
was his. He didn’t care about how weird that thought may be or why he was thinking that. There
was only this moment. This moment was the only thing that mattered to him.
“C-choke me,” Ajax moaned.

Zhongli’s pace faltered to a halt and he collected his breath.

“W-what?”

“I…” Ajax looked sheepishly to the side. “Only if you want to.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

Ajax motioned for Zhongli to lean over a little and give him his other hand. Zhongli removed it
from the grip on his thigh that was leaving fingertip bruises and gave it to him. Ajax took it to the
side of his neck and pressed it down lightly while gripping Zhongli tightly with his legs to keep
himself locked in place.

“Press on the sides,” he panted, “and not the middle. Blocks… blood but not air. Doesn’t hurt me.
Feels good. P-Please.”

“Are you sure?”

“I trust you.”

Zhongli experimentally began to press down a little and slowly moved his hips again. This earned
another whine from the other and his eyes to hide under fluttering eyelashes.

“Yeah, t-that’s good. Harder,” he gasped, “P-please, harder.”

Zhongli, with that spoken permission, started to move his other hand and pound into him again.
Ajax rocked in time with the thrusts, holding a hand against the headboard of his bed to keep
himself from knocking into it. With his other hand, he gripped Zhongli’s wrist in a silent plea
while looking up at him.

“H-harder,” he managed. “D-do it h- ahh -arder.”

Zhongli pressed down more and Ajax’s eyes rolled to the back of his head in ecstasy. The sight
made the fire inside of him burn brighter and sent him closer over the edge.

“More!” Ajax cried. “F-fuck, ahhh, s-so good! M-more, more, Zhongli…”

Zhongli groaned loudly and squeezed his hand more, earning a pleased and loud moan from the
other. He was starting to clamp down on his cock tighter and it made Zhongli’s entire body
shudder.

He was sucking him in like he was meant to be buried there. Like they were meant to be connected
like this and always have been. A new and great emotion bloomed in Zhongli’s chest that he didn’t
recognize but welcomed wholeheartedly.

“S-so good!” Ajax managed to gasp. “So f-fucking good!”

Zhongli continued to groan and felt himself start to shake a little. The sight of Ajax so open and
vulnerable was filling every part of him. He didn’t know if he could think anymore he didn’t want
to think. He just wanted to be here.

“G-gonna cum,” Ajax whimpered. “P-please, c-can I cum? Can I cum?”

Zhongli barely registered what he said. “Y-you’re gonna cum?” he groaned. He could feel the heat
in his stomach pool dangerously hot as well.

“Yeah, I am! P-please, can I? C-can I cum on y-your cock? Please, l-let me cum on your cock.”

He was asking permission. No, he was begging for permission.

Something about that was both adorable and the sexiest thing he’d ever seen.

“Cum for me,” he growled as he continued to thrust like it was the only thing he knew how to do.

With that, Ajax’s entire body jolted and his face went slack as he spilled in Zhongli’s hand in sharp
and hot stripes, eyes glued behind him and drool trailing down his chin. He looked beautiful when
overtaken by pleasure.

He looked beautiful when he was making him lose himself in ecstasy like that.

Zhongli followed suit, moaning a deep sound and steadying himself as he spilled inside and felt
Ajax writhe at the feeling of being filled. He moved his hands to Ajax’s face to cup it and leaned
down to kiss his ruined and wet lips messily, making Ajax’s back bow gorgeously and moan a
beautiful sound. Zhongli licked the drool from his lips before pushing down again, groaning
through the aftershocks as he thrust lightly to ride out his high.

“So warm,” Ajax breathed against his lips. “So much… I can feel you filling me so deep-”

He was cut off by another deep kiss. Zhongli just couldn’t stand to not feel him against his lips. It
was a need. He barely knew how much time had passed while they stayed connected and slowly
moved their mouths against each other.

After they both slowly came to, Zhongli pulled out gently and Ajax moved his legs from his
shoulders. Ajax then sat up, leaning against the bed frame while still panting breaths.

“Lean back,” Ajax whispered.

Zhongli did what he was told and Ajax moved to sit down. When Zhongli did the same, Ajax
crawled over to him, face dangerously close to his cock and a smile on his face.

“I said I wanted to taste you,” he breathed. “Let me clean you up.”

Before Zhongli had the chance to say anything, Ajax was licking and sucking every inch of his
cock that he could get his mouth on. Zhongli moaned at his heightened sensitivity as he licked over
the tip and shaft with eagerness and a moan in his throat. When he was done with his length, he
licked his abdomen and balls, sucking up any cum he could find like he was starving for it. He
continued doing this until he looked satisfied, giving his cock one small kiss goodbye and looking
up to him with a smile.

“Good?”

Zhongli could barely respond. “That was more than good,” he shook. “W-we should get you
cleaned up.”

Ajax nodded and sat up with an expression that looked like he was struggling a little. “Probably.
You sure did do your job,” he joked lightly, rubbing his rear. “You cum a lot. Glad I’m not ruining
your sheets. We really need to remember to put a towel down next time.”

“My apologies.”
“Stop apologizing,” Ajax laughed with a swat to his arm. “I’m not exactly complaining.”

Zhongli sat up from the bed. “I’ll draw you a bath,” he offered. “Can you walk?”

“I’m not helpless,” the other half-joked “I’ve got it.”

Ajax moved to sit up from the bed while trying to hide the scrunch in his face. When he stood up,
he stumbled a little and was caught underneath Zhongli’s arm.

“Careful,” Zhongli said as if that would reverse his trip. Ajax scoffed a little.

“I can walk on my own,” he protested.

“I know,” he said as he continued to walk him there.

__

“Do you have any Epsom salts or essential oils? Or tea? That may help with your sore muscles.”

Ajax shook his head. He was sitting in the tub that was running while Zhongli dampened a few
warm towels in the sink. The “lingerie” as Ajax put it was put in the dirty clothes pile Zhongli
made a mental note of putting in a hamper in the morning. He hardly considered lingerie as
clothing, though.

“I’m not fancy like you,” he joked with a small smile. Zhongli looked at him with a raised eyebrow
while letting down his hair. He loved the way Ajax looked at him when it was down. Maybe he
would consider putting it up less often.

“What do you have to help with such things, then?” Zhongli asked, setting his hair tie on the side
of the sink.

“Vodka.”

Zhongli chuckled a little. “I’ll be sure to give you some Epsom salts and other spa treatments,
then.”

“I’ll be sure to give you the money to buy it.”

They both laughed loudly at that together. Ajax rested his head against the wall and looked up to
Zhongli. “You’re coming in too, right?”

“Would you like me to?”

“Duh.”

Zhongli smiled softly and climbed into the tub. He studied Ajax’s expression for a while then
opened his arms out in an invitation.

Ajax flopped forward into them, landing his face in his chest while Zhongli wrapped his arms
around him.

“You don’t have to do that,” he mumbled into his chest.

“Oh? Do what?”

“Open your arms out when you want to cuddle.”

Zhongli rubbed circles in his back, earning a soft purr from the other. “I thought you were the one
who wanted to do such?”

“...Maybe I am. You just don’t have to do that.”

“Why?”

Ajax grumbled against him. “It’s too cute.”

Zhongli chuckled and began to softly pet his hair. “That’s the first I’ve been described as such.”

“Do you not like that?”

“I certainly do.”

Zhongli lightly kissed the top of Ajax’s head and earned another grumble and a nuzzle against him.

“You don’t have to do that, either.”

“Kiss you? Do you not want me to?”

Ajax was quiet for a while. “Maybe I do,” he grumbled. Zhongli softly kissed his hair again and
began to gently glide his nails over his back and was rewarded with a pleased hum.

“You smell good,” Zhongli found himself saying. Ajax laughed a little at that.

“Really? I thought I’d be stinky from sweating and showering so quickly.”

“You don’t stink,” Zhongli hummed. “You always smell nice. Is that an odd thing to say?”

“No,” Ajax mumbled against him. He moved up to press his forehead against his neck, making
Zhongli’s heart soar. “Thank you.”

Zhongli turned the water off and reached for a dampened towel. “Would it be weird for me to also
say you have a lovely voice?” he asked as he began to wipe the mess off of Ajax’s back. Ajax
looked up to him.

“Like, you like how I talk?”

“You’re a wonderful singer.”

Ajax flushed. “Um… did you hear…”

“I heard you singing in the shower.”

Ajax stuttered over himself and blushed deeply. “How?!” he exclaimed. “The walls aren’t exactly
thin here, and I was so quiet!”

Zhongli shrugged and Ajax thought for a moment.

“Do you have freaky dragon senses along with freaky dragon body parts?”

“What do you mean by that?”

 “Like… can you smell more and hear more than normal humans can?”

Zhongli thought for a moment. “I suppose it’s possible,” he decided. Ajax laughed and buried his
head against his neck again. Zhongli began to wipe some of the mess Childe got in his hair out.

“You’re too much,” he smiled against him.

They were both quiet for a moment. “Ajax,” Zhongli began, “I’m very glad to be able to spend time
like this with you. Last time… uh…”

Ajax looked back up to him with a confused look on his face. “I apologize,” Zhongli said, looking
off to the side a little. “Maybe this isn’t the correct time to bring it up.”

“It’s okay,” Ajax assured. “What did you want to say?”

Zhongli sighed. “I wish you were able to stay last time,” he admitted. “I worry that I did something
to upset you. You are free to do as you wish, of course, but…”

Ajax’s face fell a little. He shook his head. “You did nothing wrong,” he said firmly. “I… I got a
little embarrassed. I… guess I’m not used to being this open with someone else. Don’t worry, you
really didn’t do anything wrong.”

“This open?”

Ajax thought for a moment. “Like… I’ve been pretty vulnerable around you. More than I’ve been
with anyone. I’m not used to that.”

Zhongli thought about his words for a moment. He wanted to hear more, but if that really was the
case, saying even that was plenty. Him being willing to admit that alone was enough to make
Zhongli feel better. “Thank you for being open,” Zhongli said softly. “I will be sure to do the same
with you.”

Ajax stared at him for a minute. He looked a little sad, but it was okay. He felt that it was okay
somehow. Those eyes… those eyes really were so pretty.

Ajax then leaned in for a gentle and soft kiss that Zhongli melted into. He wrapped his arms
around his waist and held him tighter while quiet smacks echoed off the bathroom walls.

“Thank you for listening,” Ajax breathed into his mouth. “Can we… go to bed after we finish
cleaning up?”

The innocence in that statement made Zhongli melt a little. “Of course,” he smiled.

After properly cleaning each other, they made their way to the bed. They stripped the sheets,
replaced them, and laid there together. Ajax curled up against Zhongli as soon as his head hit the
pillow and Zhongli wrapped his arms and legs around him in return. They moved positions per
Ajax’s request so Zhongli was spooning him and breathing in that musky forest scent of his sweat
that hadn’t completely washed out.

His breathing was peaceful and quiet. He could feel his chest rising and falling under his hands.
The sound of it and the smell of him was enough to cloud his senses and gently rock him into the
best sleep he had in months.

Chapter End Notes

Fellas, is it gay to tenderly hold your bro in your arms while taking a bath together, tell
him he smells nice and is a beautiful singer, and kissing the top of his head while
thanking him for his emotional and physical vulnerability?

Also, Zhongli being like “ah, what an elegant evening, even more so with my beautiful
totally not lover by my side” and turning around to Childe literally dying and a sweaty
stinky mess is my favorite thing I’ve written for this fic yet bye.
 What Is This Feeling
Chapter Summary

Zhongli and Childe are both late to work after spending the night together and Hu Tao
mentions something that confuses Zhongli when talking about his tardiness. Or:
Zhongli helps Childe feel better when he comes over looking like he feels sad.

Chapter Notes

Check the tags for TWs, it’s gonna get pretty angsty from here on out. But don’t
worry! This fic WILL have a happy ending as said before! There’s just gonna be a lot
of feels.

First off, thank you u/estrogen for beta reading. I've been just doing this on my own
and struggling until you offered to help. You're the goat and ily.

Zhongli’s voice line for Hu Tao is “I cannot deal with that child” so I like to imagine
she’s the only thing that actually gets on his nerves and pisses him off. That’s why
he’s internally screaming the entire time they interact in this chapter. I also just love
writing passive-aggressive Zhongli as teasing Hu Tao.

I also changed the chapter count to 10 instead of 9 because I got an idea for another
chapter, so that’s why that’s different.

That’s all I have to say here, I hope you enjoy this update. :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The first thing Zhongli took in when he awoke was the familiar scent of Ajax’s hair filling his
senses and the warmth of the peacefully sleeping body in his arms. He didn’t bother to open his
eyes as he snuggled in closer, continuing to breathe in that rainy and sweet smell and feeling
himself slowly rock back to sleep.

The next thing he noticed was the sound of birds softly chirping outside the window and the white
glow of sunlight peeking inside the room. It made the sight behind Zhongli’s eyes look pink when
he closed them and was giving him a bit of a headache. He buried his face in Ajax’s hair more so
he could block out the light of…

Morning.

What time was it?

He opened his eyes to look up at the clock on the wall.

6:37.

Zhongli groaned a little and hugged Ajax tighter. It was still early, so he could sleep a little more.
Zhongli pressed a light kiss on Ajax’s hair, taking in the soft sound of his light snoring and the
slow beating of his heart under his hand. He was so warm. The bed was so warm. The light hitting
his exposed skin was warm, too. If it wasn’t for work in the morning, he’d be able to…

Shit. He had work in the morning. And he was running late.

Zhongli shifted a little to move but was met with a little grumble from the body under him. Zhongli
lightly moved his arms away in hopes that he wouldn’t wake him but ended up earning another
grumble and shift from Ajax. He watched him blink awake when Zhongli sat up to leave.

“Are you leaving?” Ajax slurred, still half asleep. “Come back to bed.”

“I’m sorry,” Zhongli said softly, moving a hand to lightly pet Ajax’s head. He was so warm when
he was just waking up. “I have to go to work. You can go back to sleep.”

“What time is it?”

Zhongli looked back to the clock. “6:40.”

Like those words were a spell, Ajax shuffled out of bed with a string of curses leaving his lips. He
practically sprinted across the room other than the few trips he made along the way as he collected
his clothes that were strewn across the floor.

“Fuck, we overslept!” Ajax exclaimed. “I have to be there in twenty minutes!”

“I as well.”

Ajax paused and stared at him. “So why aren’t you getting ready?!”

Oh. He had to do that, didn’t he?

Zhongli sprung up and caught the clothes Ajax tossed his way while collecting the rest of his own
and what of Ajax’s he stumbled across to him in return. He hardly took the time to smell them and
see if they were clean and was only able to hope no one would notice. He quickly threw them on
while Ajax followed suit, scrambling to button up and fasten everything they could.

“Fuck, why are my clothes so complicated,” Ajax hissed.

Zhongli didn’t bother to respond as he hopped into his pants (why were they so tight, again? What
a hassle) and pulled his coat over his shoulders. He tugged on his boots while hastily making his
way to the bathroom to wash up.

He looked at himself in the mirror. A mess. An actual mess. His hair was going in every direction
possible, his eyes baggy and clothes wrinkled. He grumbled to himself while quickly smoothing
everything out, stealing the nearest hairbrush he could find to run it through his hair.

He looked in the mirror again. Still a mess, but good enough.

“Move over,” Ajax grumbled as he scooted next to him. He snatched the hairbrush from his hands
and cursed to himself a little. He looked even worse than he did. There were still hickeys and bite
marks visible through his clothes that were only half put on.

“Your shirt is backward,” Zhongli said. Ajax started cursing again as he quickly slid it off and
turned it around.

His covered skin was even more littered. Zhongli stared at the bruises and marks he left from
grazing his teeth over it before his shirt covered it again. Ajax rummaged through the top drawer of
his sink, pulled out some cream that had the same tone as his skin, and quickly started to dab it on
his neck and exposed torso, covering up the marks.

“Damn you and your hickeys,” he grumbled. “I really hope I don’t sweat too much today. I don’t
have time to set this.”

“My apologies.”

“You’re fine, don’t apologize. Just teasing.”

Ajax washed the remainder of the cream Zhongli assumed was some kind of foundation off hands
quickly. “You look decent enough to go,” he said. “How about me?”

“You the same.”

“Did I get all the marks?”

Zhongli observed him for a while before nodding.

“Okay, good.” Ajax went for the door while adjusting his sash. “So, when’s good for next time?”

“Tomorrow,” Zhongli decided. “Nine in the evening, perhaps? I do not have much more time to
myself, unfortunately.”

“Works for me,” Ajax smiled. “Did you bring anything here?”

“I did not.”

“Okay.” Ajax opened the door to his apartment and Zhongli followed suit. “Gotta go this way and
can’t really chat anymore, but I’m sure the same goes for you. I’ll see you tomorrow, your place!”

Before Zhongli could wish him the same, Ajax was rushing away. Zhongli thought it best to also
start heading his way to work. He looked at the clock in the hallway while closing the door after
locking it from inside Ajax forgot about behind him.

6:51.

There was no way he’d make it on time, but he’d continue to rush anyway. The later he was, the
more he was sure he’d have to deal with that child of a boss he had.

Oh no. He’d have to deal with her no matter what wouldn’t he?

___

Zhongli sat at his desk organizing orders and paperwork in silence. All a part of a consultant’s job
to keep everything running smoothly and efficiently of course, but it was becoming a little more
difficult to focus. He thankfully had some more time once he arrived to freshen up and look a little
more presentable.

He hoped Ajax made it on time, at least. He looked pretty cute this morning, half asleep and
snappy from being so panicked. He really did feel warm. He could almost feel his skin against his
if he really thought about it-

“Hey, Zhongli! Hi, I’m here! You’re usually no less than half an hour early! What kept you so
long?”

Zhongli closed his eyes and let out a controlled breath through his nose to prepare himself for what
was coming. He slowly opened them back up to see Hu Tao waltzing into his office without as
much as a knock or small question of permission to enter. Zhongli set the papers aside, folded his
hands over each other, and reminded himself that he wouldn’t have to interact with her forever and
had dealt with more troublesome things in the past, so relatively, this was nothing he couldn’t
handle.

“I apologize for my inefficiency,” he said in his usual collected and practical tone. “I promise that
such a mistake on my part will not happen again. I take full responsibility for my absence.”

“You were five minutes late,” Hu Tao smirked. She was smirking. As if this was more than
amusing. Zhongli felt his eye twitch a little. “A whole five minutes! Honestly, it’s not a big deal at
all since, like, half of the people who work here are at least fifteen minutes late, but you’re just
always so punctual!”

“I am willing to do what I must to make up for lost time,” he stated.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” Hu Tao waved off. “It’s only five minutes. But, you should remember
that the time we have you with us is limited! When you’re gone, I doubt that everything will run as
smoothly as it does. It’ll be a shame, so don’t let it happen again! I want to make use of every
second you’re in our mortal realm.”

“Thank you,” Zhongli said through his teeth. He didn’t know how else he was supposed to respond
to such a threatening statement from his boss.

Hu Tao pulled up a chair and sat across from him with a stupid smile on her face and hands under
her chin. “I’m curious,” she sang, “why were you late? It’s not a very ‘Zhongli’ thing for you to do,
and as your boss, I should know what’s going on in my employees' and future clients’ lives, no?”

Zhongli squeezed his hands together to keep his composure. “I was caught up in something. The
same mistake will not be made twice.”

“Aiya, It looks like it roughed you up pretty good, too!” she smiled. “Your tie is even backward!”

Zhongli grumbled to himself and started to fix it while Hu Tao giggled.

“Seriously though,” she hummed, “you’ve been a bit of a space cadet at work lately. If something
is troubling you, it’s best you let me know. I don’t want anything to interfere with work, while you
still can work, that is.”

“Nothing is troubling me. Thank you for your concern.”

“So you daydreaming and not responding to people unless they call for you multiple times is
nothing?”

Zhongli tilted his head. “I do not recall such things.”

“You really didn’t notice me calling your name earlier, like, ten times before you finally looked
up?”
Zhongli thought about those words for a moment. “I apologize. I will be more attentive in the
future.”

Hu Tao furrowed her eyebrows a little. “Zhongli,” she began, “if something really is troubling you,
you should tell me. It’s my responsibility to look after everyone here after all, and it isn’t healthy to
keep stuff that’s bothering you to yourself.”

Zhongli nodded slowly and began to look after the papers on his desk again. “Thank you again for
your concern. I will work diligently today.”

Hu Tao was still staring at him. “You really look distant,” she observed. “I didn’t think anything
could mess with you so much, so it must be a big deal…” She paused in thought for a moment. “If
I didn’t know any better, I’d think some pretty woman or man got to you!”

A few pages slipped out of Zhongli’s hand but he caught them on time. “There is no woman,” he
said slowly as he collected himself.

“Aha! But there is a man!”

Zhongli felt himself flush a little and he stumbled over his words. “N-no, there is not,” he said,
cursing himself for stuttering. That damned giggle left Hu Tao again.

“Oh my goodness,” Hu Tao squealed, “the great and unmovable Zhongli has a crush! Who
would’ve thought either of us would see the day! Just don’t let it interfere with work, and tell me
all the details!”

“I do not get involved with such childish things,” Zhongli snapped. For her to think he’d have such
a silly relationship with Ajax was ridiculous. “You need not worry about me having a… ‘crush’ as
you put it.”

“Tell me about him!” Hu Tao grinned, leaning in more and ignoring everything he just said. “Is he
hot? What color are his eyes? What’s he like? What’s his favorite food? What’s his coffin size?
You two might want to set up an appointment to solidify arrangements when the time comes for
both of you!”

Zhongli breathed a long and slow sigh out of his nose. “I repeat myself,” he grumbled, “I do not
have a… ‘crush’. I am not associated with such silly things.”

“Hmm, you’re right,” Hu Tao hummed, mostly to herself. “You don’t seem like someone who
would gush and get super flustered over someone or even feel that lightly. You’re super mature and
boring, after all. So, if that’s the case…”

She pondered her words for a while before giving him a wide and mischievous smile.

“It must be love, then.”

Zhongli didn’t understand the look on her face when she said that and why she guessed such a
thing with so much seriousness. Zhongli loved all of his friends including Ajax. That was obvious.
Everyone did, after all. So why did she make it out to be such a big deal?

“I don’t follow,” Zhongli said simply. “Thank you for your concern again, Director. May I please
resume my work? I’m afraid my tardiness has left me a bit behind.”

Hu Tao pouted a little as she stood up. “You’re really no fun,” she huffed. “Oh well, I’ll see you
later Zhongli! Watch out for anything unexpected when I’m gone, you just never know!”
With that, Hu Tao skipped out of his office while leaving the door open behind her. Zhongli
grumbled some more to himself as he stood up to close it.

She really did say all that phrase like it was a big deal. Maybe there was something he just wasn’t
understanding…

No. He was thinking too much about it. It was just Hu Tao. She’s always been nothing more than a
tease.

He had a lot of work to do and no time to think about it any further.

___

Zhongli hummed an old tune to himself as he set some cinnamon sticks and cloves in the steeping
black tea. It smelled extremely strong, but he read this was the way he was supposed to make it.
He began to squeeze a lemon into a separate container before setting the orange he set on the
counter to warm it to room temperature the night before on the cutting board.

The day they agreed to meet again arrived slowly. Zhongli attributed that to how much he had been
thinking about seeing him again.

He checked the time. 8:52. He feared the tea wouldn’t be ready on time-

The sound of his door being practically kicked down sent Zhongli’s head flying over his shoulder.
Ajax walked in with a nod before closing the door behind him. He never knocked these days. Not
that Zhongli minded. In fact… he didn’t mind at all.

“Hey, Zhongli,” Ajax said simply. He sat down at the counter and rested his head on a propped-up
fist. “What are you making? Smells good.”

“I apologize if it isn’t the same as it is at home,” he said as he took out the strained tea leaves and
cinnamon sticks from the pot, turning his attention away from him. “This is my first time making
this.”

“What are you talking about?”

Zhongli poured the lemon juice in and sliced the orange in half. “I have read of some Snezhnayan
food and beverages and thought you may miss the taste of home. So, I am making some tea.”

Zhongli started to squeeze the orange into the pot. He could still feel Ajax’s eyes on him. “Again, I
don’t quite trust the source I got this recipe from to be completely authentic, but nonetheless, I am
attempting to make it as I am also curious to see what it tastes like.”

Ajax was silent as he stirred the pot and poured them both a cup and moved to set it in front of
Ajax. He looked up and studied his… uncharacteristically blank face. His lips were straight and
hardly in a frown or smile, eyebrows rested and eyes unseeing. Zhongli moved around the counter
to sit next to him while Ajax stayed still as if he was a statue.

“Ajax, are you alright?”

Ajax wordlessly grabbed the cup poured for him, took a small sip, and quietly set it back down
onto the counter. He was quiet for a long moment, eyes down and that expression still on his face.
Zhongli was having a difficult time deciphering it.

“It’s delicious,” he finally mumbled. Zhongli felt more silence fall between them.

“Is it anything like the tea in your home?”

“Not exactly the same. But it’s delicious.”

Zhongli sighed. “I’m sorry f-”

“Don't say you’re sorry. It’s… really good.” Ajax took another sip as Zhongli continued to study
his face.

“Is something troubling you?”

Ajax turned his head to him and gave him a small smile. “Work,” he said. “Always a pain in the
ass.”

“I understand that.”

Ajax winced a little at those words and took another sip. The silence between them was starting to
feel uncomfortable. Zhongli cleared his throat a little in an attempt to break it.

“I have been thinking of more places we could visit on our strolls when we both have the time,” he
began in an attempt to make conversation. “We haven’t been able to see much of Juyeon Karst,
would that be somewhere you’re interested in seeing?”

Ajax gulped down his cup and continued to hold it by his face as if relishing the warmth and smell
as much as he could while he wasn’t drinking it. Zhongli followed suit with a small taste. It was far
stronger than he would have it, so he set it aside. His eyebrows were now furrowed and his lips
were pressed together in a straight line. His eyes looked so distant. He wondered if it was
something inappropriate he said he didn’t consider to be.

“I don’t really think I want to… go on another stroll,” Ajax said quietly. “Not that I don’t want to
spend time with you, just… don’t think I need to see any more stuff like what you’ve shown me.”

Zhongli blinked. “You’ve been rather interested in the past… what changed your mind?”

Ajax shook his head. “Just want to do some new things is all.”

“Ah, I understand.” Zhongli shifted his position a little. “Ajax…”

Ajax looked up to him. Something about his expression was odd to him. Very odd.

“Do you want to talk about what happened at work?”

Ajax gave him another soft smile. “Thank you for being concerned, but it’s nothing. Really. Just
one of those things, you know?” He gulped the rest of his mug. “Thank you for the tea. It was
wonderful. I promise I’m fine, just… one of those things.”

Zhongli took a moment to consider his words. This wasn’t the first time he looked stressed about
work and that worried him. But… if he was so sure on not saying anything, it must be a bother if
he pressed it.

“I understand,” Zhongli heard himself say. “I will not force you to disclose anything you’re not
comfortable with saying. I’m glad you enjoyed tea and I hope it was able to make you feel at least
a little better.”

Ajax’s eyes looked so… distant. Even more distant after those words. Zhongli took both of their
cups and stood up to set them in the sink before turning around again to face him, resting against
the kitchen counter while doing so.

“I’m sorry for acting so weird,” Ajax finally said. “The tea really was wonderful. Thank you.” He
stood up as well to walk up to Zhongli before giving him a smile that looked more genuine. “I can
think of a few ways you can make me feel even better,” he smiled. “Can you let me do some things
for you to properly thank you for tea?”

Zhongli was finally starting to understand his hints. He felt a little proud of himself for that.

“We do not have to do anything more if you don’t feel up to it,” Zhongli stated. “If you are still
upset…”

“Do you not want to do anything?”

Zhongli sighed. “I do,” he admitted, “though I prioritize your needs and wants.”

“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t. I’ve been looking forward to this all day, Zhongli. I really
want to.” Ajax was now right in front of him, so close their noses were almost touching. “I… really
do want to.”

Zhongli thought on his words for a moment then nodded. “Then you may… properly thank me for
tea, as you put it.”

With those words, Ajax’s soft and tender lips met his in a light and airy kiss that felt more like a
humid breeze. The taste of the tea was softer and tasted so much better when it was coming from
Ajax’s tongue.

Something about Ajax’s mouth tasted better lately. Maybe it was the tea or maybe it was how he
was noticing how his kisses made his head feel fuzzy and his feet lift from the ground. Or maybe it
was how those fingers laced into his hair and undid it so it could fall over his shoulders loosely. Or
maybe it was how that familiar and comforting warmth spread in tingles across his nerves when he
touched the skin of his neck with gloved fingers and trailed his other hand across his waist.

This was nice. This was very nice. His lips… Something about his lips made him feel addicted.

He felt that sweet tongue slide effortlessly into his mouth and he welcomed it with pure eagerness.
He sighed as he felt it lick the inside of his mouth and dance against his own in soft and
mesmerizing twirls, mixing their saliva together… Fuck, he already felt weak at the knees for him.

For him.

Ajax’s fingers twirled his hair and grabbed the nape of his neck for support as he pushed himself
against him closer until Zhongli was almost pinned against the kitchen counter. They broke apart
with soft gasps in each other’s mouth for a moment, breathing each other’s breaths in soft sighs.

“You taste sweet,” Zhongli whispered against Ajax. He heard him stutter over his words a little
though he couldn’t see him. His eyes were half-lidded and unseeing as his head continued to spin.

“The tea?” Ajax asked with a hint of a smile in his voice.

“Perhaps.”

Ajax licked his bottom lip and trailed his tongue across Zhongli’s open mouth. “My tongue tastes
sweet everywhere, Zhongli,” Ajax breathed against him. “Do you wanna feel it even more?”

Zhongli shuddered at the feeling of lips and teeth pulling at the lobe of his ear and moaned lightly
when they trailed down to his neck to leave slow and feathery kisses. “I do want to,” he whispered,
lacing his fingers in that fiery hair. Ajax gave him a pleased hum in response, lightly nipping what
exposed skin he had while fully dressed before falling down to his knees without warning.

“I’ve been thinking,” Ajax hummed as he lightly trailed fingers over Zhongli’s thighs, “I haven’t
shown you what I can really do with my mouth yet. It’s all just been teasing and never anything
proper.” Ajax laced a lone finger in the hem on his pants with a mischievous smile. “Would you
like to see what I can really do?”

Zhongli was already taking off his coat to let Ajax have more access. “I would love to see,” he
rumbled from the back of his throat. Ajax smiled wider at these words as he slowly unzipped his
pants. His eyes were slowly becoming foggier and his face redder. Watching as he slowly grew
more and more aroused was making Zhongli go crazy.

Ajax skillfully undid his pants and pulled his boxers down just enough to pull out his slowly
hardening cock with hungry eyes and that smile still on his face. “You’re a grower and a shower,”
he sang as he trailed a lone finger over the shaft, earning a shaky breath from Zhongli who was
gripping the counter as hard as he could for support until his knuckles turned white. “I wanna feel
you get hard in my mouth so bad.”

“What’s stopping you?”

A fire flickered in Ajax’s eyes as he looked up to meet Zhongli’s gaze. While keeping eye contact,
he held the end of his cock with one hand to steady it and licked a long and slow stripe from the
base to the tip. The feeling of his warm tongue against him was already making his head fall back
and low groans rip their way out of his chest.

He felt those soft lips wrap around the tip and lightly suck while that delicious tongue swirled
around sloppily and skillfully. Zhongli felt his legs become jelly and his arousal harden more as
that warmth spread down a couple of inches deeper and Ajax moaned such a pleased and lewd
sound.

Every small bob of his head was making Ajax whine and slurp softly as he drooled over him. He
popped off his cock to breathe warm breaths against it and lick more spit over the shaft, spreading
it around eagerly with soft moans that just kept leaving his mouth and going straight to his cock.

“Look back down,” he heard Ajax whisper, every flutter of his lips dancing against him. “I want
you to watch me.”

Zhongli looked back down to Ajax’s desperate and flushed face, open mouth, and glazed-over eyes
as he continued to lick his hardening arousal up and down. They had only gotten started and
Zhongli felt like he was going to lose it.

“You’re so pretty,” Zhongli whispered without thinking, letting his still gloved hand lightly pet
Ajax’s hair. He could’ve sworn he heard him purr though he didn’t respond.

Ajax put his lips back over the tip and sucked a little harder, going down a few more inches before
slowly pulling back. He repeated this action again, swirling his tongue around and going a little
deeper, making Zhongli groan a long sound and shudder at the feeling of being encompassed by
that soft and wet warmth and the feeling of Ajax sucking harder.

The noises he was making were beautiful. Every bob down he’d moan a light sound and slurp and
smack around him. Ajax pulled back again, whining and licking and sucking the head with an
eagerness that was steadily growing.

“You’re so big,” Ajax whimpered with a small laugh, moving the hand at the base to start stroking
his now fully hard length. “I’ve never been intimidated by a cock before now.”

“Do you wanna stop?” Zhongli managed to ask in strangled breaths.

“Hell no,” Ajax smiled. The sight of him smiling like that while holding his cock with his lips
glistening and swollen and face pink with blush might just be one of Zhongli’s favorite things. “I’m
considering this another challenge to conquer.”

Ajax set his mouth back down on him with a high moan, going down halfway and lightly gagging.
He settled there for a bit to adjust, still sucking and twirling his tongue around, before going down
three-quarters way with another muffled moan.

Zhongli felt like was losing it. He couldn’t lean against and grip the counter enough to stop how
much his legs were shaking and how labored his breath was. It felt so fucking good. So, so fucking
good. Too good, even. Too good for him to handle.

Ajax slowly went down even further with tears in his eyes. His lips were puckered out and mouth
wide as he slowly went down to the base to nuzzle his nose against his bush. He stayed there for a
bit before slowly pulling back to move down again.

His eyes were rolled to the back of his head and he had the most stuffed and blissed-out face
Zhongli had seen his wear yet. He could feel himself start to leak in his mouth as he
unintentionally gripped and lightly pulled Ajax’s hair, earning another beautiful whine.

Ajax pulled back again to pop off, breathing loud and strangled breaths while coughing. He
punched his chest, visibly trying to keep himself together while still gagging and licking him all
over.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli shook. Ajax nodded.

“Just gotta catch my breath,” he wheezed. After taking another moment, he set himself back down
with a high whine, bobbing his head faster and sucking harder. Zhongli laid his head back with a
long moan, holding onto Ajax’s hair like he’d disappear if he let go.

“F-fuck, Ajax, it f-feels amazing,” Zhongli managed to groan through struggled breaths. “Y-you’re
doing such a good job.”

Ajax moaned in response and moved faster. Zhongli felt like he was melting into his mouth and
becoming jelly underneath him as his mouth fell open and tongue slack in his mouth, heat rushing
through every inch of his body and swirling in his stomach.

“You- ahh, really do look pretty,” Zhongli found himself saying without thinking. His mind was
too far gone to even really comprehend his words. “It f-feels so good.”

Ajax whimpered around his cock and dove to the base again to settle. Zhongli could feel his throat
convulsing around him as he let out muffled gags and ground his face against him like he needed
his face to be stuffed. The thought alone that he was fucking his throat was making him see stars.
When he started to moan into his cock and suck harder, Zhongli felt himself twitch and grow closer
to the edge. Ajax moaned louder at this, swirling his tongue around his shaft and moving his head
back and forth in little movements as those tears that were glazing his eyes started to fall down his
face.

“D-do you want me cum in your mouth?” Zhongli gasped as the heat grew. Ajax moaned in
response and sucked harder. That was enough to send him over the edge.

Zhongli groaned loudly as he spilled down Ajax’s throat and was overtaken by white-hot ecstasy
while he watched Ajax’s eyelashes flutter. He eagerly continued to suck like he wanted to milk
every last drop out of him. Zhongli’s legs shook at the peak of his high and as aftershocks overtook
him while Ajax slowly pulled back.

Ajax popped off of him with a gasp and a fit of coughs, slumping against Zhongli’s thigh as he
continued to wheeze and catch his breath. Zhongli started to loosen the grip on his hair and softly
pet it.

Ajax looked up to him, still slumped against his leg, with big and hazy eyes. Some cum and drool
were dripping down his chin and smearing over his pants, not that he cared in the slightest. He
looked nothing short of adorable.

“Did I do a good job?” he managed through gasps with a hoarse voice. Zhongli smiled down at
him and helped him stand up.

“You always do. That was amazing.”

When on his feet, Ajax whined a high sound and started grinding his fully hard arousal on his hip.
“P-please,” he managed, resting his head on Zhongli’s shoulder, “c-can you… Can we go to…”

Zhongli, without thinking, lifted Ajax up over his shoulder and started carrying him to the bedroom
while Ajax squeaked in surprise.

“H-hey!” he exclaimed while kicking his feet against him, “I can walk! What are you doing?!”

“I don’t really know,” Zhongli admitted.

Without even bothering to close the door behind him once inside the bedroom, he slammed Ajax
down on the bed and started to impatiently kiss his neck while fumbling with his pants. He felt
Ajax desperately grab onto his waistband to help him pull them down halfway before undoing his
own pants and sliding them down too. He loved how the vibrations of Ajax’s hoarse moans echoed
over his mouth as he bit down onto spent skin that only just healed from last time. He loved
keeping his mark on him always.

The thought of Ajax not covering his bites and hickeys with makeup anymore and sporting them
wherever he went was making him hard again. He loved the idea of everyone looking at him and
instantly knowing that he was the one making him feel good. He was the one making him moan
and cry as his hands wandered across his sides and trailed to grope his ass. He was the one who
was making him shake under his touch and babble incoherent begs as he grazed his teeth over his
skin.

His skin tasted so good. He loved how his skin tasted.

“J-just fuck me,” he heard Ajax whimper when he pressed his fingers into his ass hard enough to
leave bruises. “Please, Zhongli, d-don’t make me beg for it any more than I am.”
“I do enjoy hearing you beg, though,” he growled in return before beginning to suck a spot on his
adam’s apple. Ajax cried out at this and pushed his hips up to meet Zhongli’s and pathetically
grind against them.

“Please,” he mewled weakly. “P-please, Zhongli, please fuck me. Please fuck me, I n-need it so
bad, please…”

Zhongli moved his mouth to mercilessly sink his teeth into a tendon, making Ajax sob and arch his
back in a beautiful bow. “M-more,” he whimpered. “Z-Zhongli, please, I want more, please…”

Zhongli pulled back from his neck wordlessly to pull his gloves off with his teeth and spit on his
fingers before diving them in between Ajax’s legs. “You want more?” he asked with a small smile.
Ajax nodded furiously with a high whine.

“Please,” he begged. “Please, give me more. I need more, please, ple- ahh!”

Zhongli roughly pressed two fingers inside and started sloppily kissing his neck again. Ajax
moaned a long and high sound while lifting his legs up and pulling his pants down farther before
undoing his shirt hastily.

Zhongli leaned up to help him slide it off his shoulders with a free hand while Ajax panted and
sighed with every curl of his fingers while Ajax threw his gloves aside. When it was thrown aside
on the floor, Ajax was running his fingers all over Zhongli’s chest to unbutton his dress shirt with
impatience and desperation in his eyes.

His motions faltered into a long moan when Zhongli curled his fingers into his sweet spot. Ajax
weakly fell back against the bed, trembling and twitching uselessly.

“You still want more?” Zhongli rumbled, unable to hide the pride in his voice from watching Ajax
falter this much from pleasure.

“C-can- ahh, y-you take my pants off first?”

Zhongli slowly pulled his fingers out with a nod while Ajax whimpered at the loss. Zhongli pulled
his pants and boxers completely off of him and threw them aside before doing the same with his
own and undoing his shirt. He could feel Ajax’s eyes on him the entire time and he loved it more
than he expected to.

“Fuck, you’re hot,” Ajax breathed. “Just… shit, look at you.”

Zhongli shrugged his shirt off and threw it aside before looking at Ajax, naked under him, chest
heaving with every breath, deep blue eyes glossy and hazy, lips still pink and swollen, pale skin
flushed, and entire body trembling.

It felt odd for Ajax to make such a compliment when he was lying before him like that. He felt
incomparable.

“Look at you,” Zhongli countered in a low voice before sliding his hand back in between his
spread legs to massage the rim of his hole to press three fingers inside suddenly. Ajax moaned and
threw his head back, letting out small cries of desperation with every pump. “You’re beautiful.”

Ajax visibly flushed at those words and turned his gaze to the side. Zhongli couldn’t keep himself
from continuing.

“You look like you’re glowing when you feel good,” he rambled as he leaned back over to lick and
suck the abused skin, relishing the taste of it and every moan that left those wonderful lips.
“You’re so pretty.”

“Z-Zhongli…”

“Yes?”

Ajax wrapped his legs around his waist and pulled him in closer. “More,” he breathed. “P-please, I
want more, please…”

“You sound so beautiful when you beg like that,” Zhongli breathed against him as he slid in a
fourth finger. Ajax arched his back into him with a loud cry. “Your moans are so sweet, Ajax. I
can’t ever get enough of your voice.”

“Z-Zhongli, Zhongli, you… when y-you say that stuff…”

Zhongli continued to curl his fingers and Ajax trailed off into another high moan. “I love it when
you cry out like that. I love it when you feel so good you moan like that.”

Ajax let out another one of those sounds that sent heat waves straight down to Zhongli’s fully hard
and twitching cock and dug his fingernails into his back. “I’m gonna cum,” Ajax whimpered. “F-
feels so good, g-gonna cum!”

“Cum on my fingers,” Zhongli grinned against him stupidly. “Cum for me.”

Ajax’s mouth fell slack as he spilled in between their chests, twitching and moaning as he
climaxed. Zhongli sank his teeth back into his neck all the while, unable to control himself from
tasting that delicious skin more. There was nothing more delectable in the world than that skin.
There was nothing that haunted his mind like that skin.

“Please,” Ajax whimpered, “it’s n-not enough, c-can you… Can you…”

“Fuck you?”

Ajax nodded. “Yes,” he sighed. “F-fuck me, please fuck me, please.”

“Are you lubed up enough?”

“I don’t fucking care. Just fuck me. I need it.”

Like Zhongli was under a spell, he wordlessly leaned over him while resting both arms by his head,
lined himself up, and began to push himself in. Ajax moaned a long and high sound, gripping and
scratching every part of Zhongli his hands could reach for support while letting out noises he
couldn’t control.

“Yes!” he cried out as Zhongli slowly sank in with deep breaths. “Gods, I needed this! F-fuck it’s
so good! It’s so fucking good!”

Zhongli crashed their lips together without warning as he bottomed out a little too fast while Ajax
cried in pain. He almost leaned back to ask if he was okay, but Ajax pulling his head down to keep
their mouths connected kept him from doing so.

“Move,” Ajax breathed into his mouth when they parted for a second. “Please.”

Zhongli was sure his purpose was to serve Ajax and give him everything he wanted at that
moment. He started to grind with a low groan against him while those gorgeous moans from the
body under him grew louder against his mouth.

“I- ahh, l-love your moans,” Ajax whimpered against Zhongli’s open mouth. “F-fuck, it’s… it’s
so…”

Like he couldn’t find the words, Ajax pressed his lips against Zhongli’s again. Zhongli quickly
melted into the kiss, rocking his hips into him harder and relishing every part of Ajax.

Everything was perfect. Nothing short of perfect. His kisses still tasted so sweet, his moans and
breaths were so warm into his mouth, and his hole was squeezing his cock like Ajax was begging
him to fuck into him with every part of his body. Even his scent was growing stronger, or maybe it
was his heightened senses. He had no way of telling.

Knowing how desperate Ajax was for his cock in his mouth and his ass was making his world
sway. It was like he wanted every inch of his body to be filled with him. He loved the idea. He
loved thinking about claiming him in every way possible.

It was like Ajax was the only person that really mattered.

“H-harder,” Ajax begged. “Please, m-more, please.”

“Y-you feel so good,” Zhongli managed as he started to slam himself inside, wrapping his fingers
in Ajax’s soft hair and running them across his chest with the other hand. He always loved how his
nipples were so pink against his pale skin and how they hardened under his touch. “You’re
wonderful, Ajax.”

He didn’t even know what he was saying. He was just talking unfiltered. Ajax was still crying out
underneath him and squeezing down on him, steadily growing warmer under him like he was
melting too. His body had to have been sculpted by some higher being. There was no way anyone
could feel and look so amazing otherwise.

“You look so pretty,” he continued to babble. “So pretty.”

Ajax whined and hid his face into the arm Zhongli was resting next to his head. He looked so cute
when he was flustered. He had to remember to tease him more often.

“Y-you keep- f-fuck, ahhh, s-saying that,” Ajax moaned under him. “Y-you- w-when you s-say
that…”

“But you are,” Zhongli breathed before landing a hand thrust into him. Ajax sobbed into his arm
while Zhongli buried his fingers in his hair and gripped it as if to keep him in place. “You look,
hah, lovely like this, Ajax.”

Ajax sniffled into his arm, moaning shaky and wet sounds as he went limp under every thrust that
rocked his body back and forth. He loved seeing him look blissed and fucked out. He loved
watching him move with every pound only to rock right back on his cock. Like he was made to be
fucked on it. He looked like he loved it enough to be made for it.

“You take my cock so well. So well.”

“It’s so good!” Ajax cried. “S-so good! Y-your cock feels so good, Zhongli, Zhongli…”

Fuck, he loved when he moaned his name. He loved it.

“Say my name again,” Zhongli groaned against him, pounding into him deeper and earning another
pleased and gorgeous sound out of him.

“Zhongli!” Ajax moaned in that heavenly voice that made him feel like he was ascending. “Z-
Zhongli, ahh, Zhongli, f-feels so good! Zhongli, y-you feel so good! Zhongli, Zhongli…”

This is what he meant when he said he wanted to fuck Ajax until his name was the only thing on
his lips. This was beautiful. This was nothing short of beautiful.

“Louder,” Zhongli growled into him. “Moan for me louder.”

“Zhongli!” Ajax continued to chant like he was reciting a prayer. “Z-Zhongli, p-please, Zhongli!
Fuck, Zhongli! Z-Zhongli! ”

Zhongli felt himself get close as he felt Ajax against him tighter. “I’m gonna cum,” he growled. He
watched Ajax’s eyes blow wide in excitement at these words and his moans grow higher.

“Me too!” he cried. “Zhongli, inside, p-please, fill me up, Zhongli, please!”

Zhongli’s vision blanked out at those words and his entire body was fucked by waves of all-
consuming pleasure that only got stronger when he thought he reached the peak of his high. It kept
growing as he felt Ajax convulse around him as he too orgasmed, eyes dilating and going black and
mouth hanging open as he choked out a beautiful moan in time with Zhongli.

Then they just stayed there. Zhongli laid down on top of Ajax, pressing kisses along his neck and
moaning out the last of his high as he rode out what felt like an eternity of ecstasy. Ajax moved his
hands away from his back to lace them in his hair, shaking out breaths and leaning into every kiss.

“Zhongli,” Ajax said in a quiet and hoarse voice, “um… we should probably start cleaning up.”

Zhongli tried to collect himself but gave up as he nuzzled his face into Ajax’s neck. “Don’t feel
like getting up,” he grumbled against him. He could feel a soft smile crossing his face.

“Wore yourself out?”

Silence fell in between the two of them for a moment. Zhongli could feel himself slowly drift off
but snap back when Ajax cleared his throat.

“You can pull out at least.”

“Sorry,” Zhongli mumbled. He pulled out while Ajax hissed under him before flopping next to
him. Before he could wrap his arms around him, Ajax was sitting up and shuffling out of the bed.

“I thought you’d want to cuddle,” Zhongli said sleepily. Ajax gave him a small smile.

“How about I cum in your ass and we see how long you can deal with it leaking out?”

“You asked for it.”

Ajax stuck his tongue out at him. “And you did it, dumbass.”

Zhongli chuckled. “I can get you a rag-”

“It’s fine. I got it. Just stay there. I know you’re tired”

Ajax shuffled to the bathroom and Zhongli forced himself to sit up. He really felt like falling asleep
but he dreaded having to wash up in the morning. At least it was his apartment and he knew where
everything was.

Zhongli willed himself to stand up on shaky legs after a while of sitting down and started walking
to the bathroom. Right when he stood up, Ajax walked out with a towel around his waist and still
looking like a mess. He looked up to Zhongli and flashed him a smile.

“Going to wash up? I just finished up, sorry for using up all your stuff.”

“You’re more than welcome to,” Zhongli said with a nod. He watched as Ajax started to walk
across the room and collect his clothes. “What are you doing?”

“I…” Ajax paused for a moment, then moved to grab his shirt off the floor. “I had a lot of fun this
time, Zhongli! Not to say I don’t always have fun, of course. Dare I say you’re good in bed now.
I’m a pretty good teacher!”

Zhongli watched him start to fasten his shirt. “Why are you getting dressed?” he asked softly. “We
haven’t even cleaned up together yet.”

Ajax gave him another smile. “I already washed up enough, and I thought you might want me out
of your hair.”

“Nonsense,” Zhongli said quickly. “You know that you’re more than welcome to stay. I enjoy your
company.”

Ajax looked down to the ground and sighed. “I just thought… you’d want me gone after that, you
know… since you have work early and stuff. I don’t want to keep you.”

“You’re not keeping me.”

“Can’t have you late again!” he laughed. Something his demeanor was… off. “I’m sure that I’ve
been wasting your time outside of this. Can’t ask too much of you and all that.”

“You’re not asking too much of anything,” Zhongli said. His gut was starting to drop. Something
was definitely wrong. The thought of him rushing out again… he couldn’t let that happen. “I enjoy
your company more than anyone’s.”

Ajax paused dead in his tracks. “You can’t say stuff like that,” he said softly. “Just… don’t say
stuff like that.”

“Why not?”

“You just… can’t say that.” Ajax began to move again and grabbed his pants from the floor.
“You… can’t really mean it.”

Zhongli stared at him. The dread in his stomach kept growing. “That can’t be farther from the
truth,” he began in a gentle voice. “You’re one of the people dearest to me, Ajax.”

Ajax looked down to the floor and turned his head away, biting his lip and furrowing his eyebrows.
His hands started to visibly tremble. “Don’t say that,” he mumbled again in a small voice.

“Why not?” Zhongli tilted his head. “Was that a strange thing to say? I don’t follow.”

Ajax shook his head. “You… just can’t say that stuff to me. You said that during sex and you’re
saying it now but you… I’m telling you. You can’t… say stuff like that.”

“Why?”
Ajax bit down on his lip harder. Zhongli just began to notice that it was to keep it from trembling.
“I…” he began quietly, “I need to go-“

“You’re staying,” Zhongli said firmly, fear of him rushing out again swirling in his gut. “Tell me
what’s wrong, Ajax. I won’t judge you.”

“N-no,” he stuttered over himself, “I have some… work to do. I really should…”

Ajax trailed off when Zhongli firmly gripped his arm and led him to the bed. “What are you
doing?” Ajax asked in a small voice that was steadily growing more panicked. “Y-you’re not about
to ask for more right?”

“More what?”

Ajax sighed and shook his head. “I shouldn’t… have… what are you doing?”

Zhongli sat both of them down on the edge and stared at him. “Something is troubling you,” he
began firmly, “and you’re hiding it from me. Tell me.”

“What… do you think I’m hiding?” His voice was changing from panicked to nervous slowly and
his face was dropping. Zhongli drew in a long breath.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “But you’ve left without much of a goodbye that one time and it still
troubles me and I don’t want that to happen again. I wish you… I wish you would just talk to me.”

Ajax turned his gaze away again.

“Ajax. Tell me why you get so distant sometimes. Is it something I did? Was that strange for me to
say? I do not want you to be uncomfortable.”

“You’re not making me uncomfortable. I…” he hesitated before continuing. “I… you never did
anything wrong.”

“Then why do you tell me not to say those things?”

More silence on his end.

“Tell me, Ajax.”

“I just don’t deserve it, okay?!”

Ajax shrunk a little after shouting, then sighed. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I shouldn’t have yelled.”

Zhongli stared at him. Just stared. Ajax’s face would look blank to anyone, but not to him. He
could now see how much he was struggling to keep himself together. It hurt him so much to look
at.

He wordlessly pulled Ajax into an embrace he did not reciprocate, only allowing himself to be held
with his arms by his side. “What makes you feel that way?” Zhongli whispered. “You are more
than deserving.”

“No, I’m not,” Ajax hissed against his chest. “You don’t know what I’ve done, Zhongli. I’ve done
some really shitty things. I’m still doing some really shitty things. I… I’ve done something terrible.
So you… can’t say that.”

Zhongli paused for a moment. “What terrible thing have you done?”
Ajax didn’t respond. “I think it’d just hurt you more than help either of us,” he said after a while.
“You… it would be best if you just cut ties with me now.”

A sharp pain hit Zhongli’s gut that ached terribly. “Why would I want to do that?” He asked in a
small voice. He was now petting Ajax’s hair and he heard a whimper.

“Are you deaf?” Ajax whispered. “You’re gonna just get hurt if you continue being… with me…”

“Do you… want to stop this? Is that what you mean?” Zhongli really hoped that wasn’t the case. It
couldn’t be the case.

“I don’t have the strength to stop this myself. I’m too weak to do that.”

“Weak?”

Ajax finally started to bury his head into his chest and slowly drag his arms around Zhongli’s back.
“I’m too weak to make myself stop seeing you,” he said in a soft crack of his voice. He was
definitely crying. That hurt Zhongli so much even though he didn’t know why. “I… I c-can’t… I’m
just… I’m a coward. Y-you don’t understand. I’m a coward who can’t be away from you. It h-hurts
when I… Y-you… I don’t deserve you. You’re… you’re just so...”

The person in his arms… was so human. This was the most human experience he ever had.

Ajax was a living breathing thing with fears. He wasn’t an untouchable force or an ethereal being.
That much was obvious, but the realization was still surprising to him.

That forestry scent flooded Zhongli’s nose as he softly kissed that mess of fiery orange hair.

“It’s okay to be scared,” he assured, massaging into his back gently. “There’s nothing wrong with
being scared.”

“I shouldn’t be.”

“You’re allowed to.”

Zhongli felt Ajax’s embrace around him grow tighter. “I… but if you… when you get hurt because
of me-“

“Now you don’t say that.”

“But-“

“There’s none of that,” Zhongli stated firmly. “It’s just you and me. Nothing else exists right now.”

It felt true to him at least. Nothing but the softly crying man in his arms was important. He didn’t
bother to think about what Ajax could possibly mean because he just didn’t care. There was only
him nuzzling into his neck and squeezing his sides. There was only them slowly lying down on the
bed and Zhongli kissing his hair. There was only those quiet sobs silencing and little kisses against
his neck and jaw Ajax returned that were light and feathery. Beautiful and affectionate. Innocent
and kind. Wonderful and perfect.

There was nothing more perfect in existence, and strangely, he still didn’t care about what things
Ajax could’ve hinted at. There was only him, and there was only this moment.

He felt whole. He felt completely whole. Like he was meant to hold Ajax like this his entire life.
Like this was all that mattered.
 What is this feeling?

Chapter End Notes

“You must be in love!” Hu Tao says as a joke.

“I am not in love,” Zhongli responds as he assumes she’s talking about Ajax even
though he was never as much as mentioned.

Anyways when I was writing the praise during the woohoo scene and Zhongli was
saying the “I love when you fidhwaiwhI” it was SO DIFFICULT to not write him
saying “I love YOU” bc I already planned that moment and it wasn’t in this chapter I
just. AAAAAAAAAA

Last thing before I go, I think I subconsciously wrote all the elements of the album
Burn Your Fire For No Witness by Angel Olsen in this fic? Idk, it’s my favorite album
in the universe and as I listen to the songs in it I can hear scenes and themes in this fic
in the lyrics. It’s the same album that the song Iota (what Childe sang in chapter 5) is
in and I’m planning to reference it a lot more. It’s actually amazing. Give it a go. If
folk and soft rock isn’t really your scene then you might not like it, but otherwise, I
recommend it.

That’s all, I wish you all a wonderful rest of the Earth spinning phase you are currently
in.
 Something New
Chapter Summary

Zhongli gives advice to Xingqiu. Or: Zhongli realizes something about his feelings for
his dearest friend he should have figured out sooner.

Chapter Notes

Hi friends! I wanted to say some things before I get started with this update.

This is EXTREMELY important: mind the tags. Please, please, please mind the tags.
Some heavy angst is coming up, not in this chapter, but soon. This is your warning, so
when it comes up, please expect it. If heavy angst and topics are not suitable for you,
this isn’t a fic you should read and I strongly encourage you to read something more
light-hearted. Please do not continue reading without anticipating angst coming up.

Also I forgot to mention that the song referenced in this chapter is Hi-Five by Angel
Olsen. A bop, a banger. It's on the playlist. Check it out or listen to it when you get to
the scene it's in.

Thank you guys so much again, that’s all from me!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Zhongli sipped some of his tea patiently as he sat in Wamin. The quiet chatter of people that
bounced along the restaurant as the sun slowly set into a golden afternoon was one of Zhongli’s
favorite ambiances in the city. He settled on people watching as he waited for Xingqiu to meet with
him, looking at businessmen hurrying down the streets, mothers leading their children by their
side, and the Milleth patrolling half-heartedly, ready to finish their shift and go home to their
families.

Xingqiu was about five minutes late, but Zhongli didn’t mind that much. He looked at the stack of
books on the table and recounted them to make sure he brought all of the ones he planned to. Two
of his favorite and most accurate history textbooks on Liyue and one story he thought was rather
interesting were on the table to his confirmation. He knew this already as he checked dozens of
times throughout the course of sitting patiently. He started to not trust his memory after being late
for work and thinking of Ajax more often than what must be normal.

Xiangling walked up to his table with a smile on her face, paper in one hand, and a pen in the other.
“Hi Mr. Zhongli!” she sang with a grin. “Are you meeting Mr. Childe for dinner again? It’ll be
good to see you two!”

“Not this time,” Zhongli said. “I have a book exchange, actually, with-”

“Zhongli Xiansheng! I’m so sorry that I’m late!”

Xingqiu quickly sat down across from him with a book tucked under his arm and his stained sword
on his belt. He looked like he arrived in a hurry. His hair was damp and his clothes had dirt stains
smeared all over them. He tracked some mud when he entered and was visibly sweating, though it
could be the water he was drenched with. His hydro vision was even still glowing at his hip. “Some
treasure hoarders were stirring up trouble on my way,” Xingqiu explained with a sigh. “I’m sorry
about my tardiness, but it was impossible for me to allow them to get away with their schemes.”

“Hi, Xingqiu!” Xiangling grinned. “I haven’t seen you in a while! What’s up?”

“Xiangling! You’re back from your adventures with Aether?” Xingqiu looked like he shrank a little
when he noticed her. Zhongli wondered why.

“I’ve been back for over a week,” Xiangling said with a small frown in her voice. “I’m surprised
you haven’t come by to see me… whatever. What’ll it be?”

“Some Jueyon Chili Chicken for me,” Zhongli said with a nod. “I trust you remember how I like
it.”

“I’ll have the crystal shrimp.”

“Coming right up! I didn’t forget Zhongli, your special intrusions are so particular that it's
impossible for me to,” Xiangling joked in a song when she finished jotting down their orders. She
skipped away and Zhongli directed his attention to the young man in front of him.

“I have brought some books I recommend you read,” Zhongli said with a small smile. Xingqiu
instantly perked up, grabbed the titles on the table Zhongli motioned to, and inspected them.

“I’ve read all of these,” he admitted with a small laugh, “but it’s been a while. It’ll be good to
experience them again. Thank you, Zhongli! I’ll return these to you soon.”

“There’s no need. This is a token of my thanks to you for the tea and the books you’ve given me.”

Xingqiu smiled widely. “Thank you!” His eyes wandered to Xiangling rushing to refill someone’s
glass of water at the table next to them and his face fell again. Zhongli studied his expression for a
while.

Zhongli actually remembered Xiangling saying that there had been some drama in their friend
group, but he didn’t feel like it was his business to intrude. So, Zhongli kept silent.

“So what have you been doing today, Zhongli?”

“I have been working at the parlor until recently,” he said with a nod. “I am planning to do some
shopping for Ajax after this and meet with him, so today I have been quite busy.”

“Ajax? Who’s that?”

“Ah, my apologies. I meant Childe.”

“Oh! Tartaglia.”

Zhongli chuckled a little. “He has many names,” he noted, mostly to himself.

Xingqiu nodded and took another sip of his water. He was being… uncharacteristically quiet. That
combined with his awkwardness with Xiangling made him feel less curious and more concerned.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli asked.

Immediately after he did, Xingqiu groaned and buried his face in his palms. “No,” he admitted
quietly. “I feel bad for not talking to Xiangling. She looked really happy to see me and… In all
honesty, I have no idea what I’m doing.”

The sudden change of atmosphere threw Zhongli off a little. “What do you mean?”

Xingqiu shook his head. “I don’t want to involve you in my mess. My apologies, I’ve already
dumped so much on you. I’m sure you don’t want to hear about it.”

Zhongli took a moment to pause in thought. “If you do not feel comfortable disclosing anything to
me I understand and respect that decision. I do think, however, you will feel better after talking it
out and I can provide some advice.”

Xingqiu nodded and slowly sat back up. “You’re right,” he sighed. “A while ago, I… got in a really
big fight with Chongyun. And after that, our whole friend group with Xiangling and Hu Tao has
been really distant. I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault.”

This must be the same fight Xiangling was telling him about before.

“What happened?”

Xingqiu cleared his throat. “I… told him I liked him and he told me he I couldn’t because of his
condition. Then he said to try and get over it since nothing between us could ever happen. I got
really mad and told him that I couldn’t control if I did or not and then he got mad too. I told him if
he was going to act like that I wasn't going to talk to him and he said the same to me.”

Xingqiu’s eyes looked glossy. “Because it’s been so tense between us, I haven’t hung out with Hu
Tao and Xiangling in a while since we usually all hang out together. I’ve been trying to make new
friends and spend time with other people outside of our friend group to get over him, but nothing’s
working.”

Zhongli thought for a moment. “How long has it been since the fight?”

“Three weeks.” Xingqiu sighed again. “I just… really miss him. I thought if I spent time with other
people I wouldn’t, but I do. A lot. I was really excited about getting dinner with you and thought
it’d take my mind off him, but it’s just not the same as…” Xingqiu cursed under his breath and hid
his face away from Zhongli. “That came out wrong. I didn’t mean it like I don’t enjoy your
company, Zhongli. I’m sorry again for dumping this all on you and making it seem like I was just
talking to you because I missed him. You’re a good friend and I appreciate our time together, I
just...”

“It’s alright,” Zhongli comforted. “I understand.”

“I just don’t know what I’m doing. I really like him, more than I’ve liked anyone before. Even if
we’re just friends again, I want to spend time with him. It doesn’t have to be romantic like how I
wanted initially, I just… I’m sorry again for dumping this all on you and being so weird.”

“Don’t apologize,” Zhongli said gently. “You’ve done nothing wrong. Don’t feel guilty or at fault
for the falter in your friend group. All of you are young and can still work through this together.
Your friendship is strong enough to. Have you talked to him at all during these three weeks?”

“No,” Xingqiu said with a shake of his head. “Not at all. I think it’s too late now.”

Zhongli thought about his response for a moment. “It’s never too late,” he finally said. “I think
both of you are confused and would feel better if you talked it out. None of you will know what the
other is thinking unless you communicate. He may miss you just as much as you miss him. You’re
best friends after all. You both have nothing to lose.”

“I’m really scared, though.”

“Why?”

“Because of what can go wrong.” Xingqiu looked down at the ground again and his lip began to
tremble. “What if he gets even angier at me? What if I say something wrong? What if he wants
nothing to do with me?”

“I’m positive that isn’t the case,” Zhongli said with a shake of his head. “Talk to him. This
situation won’t get better if you two don’t communicate.”

Xingqiu took in his response for a moment then released a breath. “You’re right,” he finally said.
“He won’t know what I’m thinking unless I talk to him, so it wouldn’t hurt. I will do my best to
face my fears.” He looked up at him with a smile. “Thank you, Zhongli.”

“Of course.”

“But… when would be a good time?”

“There is never a perfect time for these things. You just have to tell him.”

Xingqiu sat back. “Huh,” he said softly. “Never a perfect time?”

“There is never a perfect time for anything.”

“So… I could just tell him I need to talk to him anytime and it wouldn’t matter?”

“You could even go now.”

That was an attempt on his part to joke, but at those words, Xingqiu stood from his chair. “Yeah!”
he agreed, his enthusiasm slowly coming back. “You’re right! I’m gonna go talk to him right now.
I’m tired of waiting!”

“Best of luck to you. Don’t forget the books I have given you.”

Xingqiu threw the books in his arms and finally smiled again. “Thank you so much, Zhongli!
Really! For the books and the advice. I’ll see you later, bye!”

With that, Xingqiu ran off while Zhongli waved.

“Young love,” he sighed to himself with a smile. He should be sure to bring the two of them some
tea if they made up as congratulations.

Xiangling came back with trays of both of their foods and a confused look on her face. “Why did
he run off?” she asked him as she set their meals down. “Did something happen?”

Zhongli nodded in thanks and took a bite of his meal. “He’s off to talk to Chongyun. I gave him
some encouragement.”

“About time! I was getting sick of their shit!” Xiangling exclaimed a little too loudly before
Zhongli choked on his fish.
 ___

2308.

Second floor, third hallway, eighth door. Ajax’s apartment was a little troublesome to find, but it
was getting easier the more he visited.

Zhongli walked down the hallway with a smile on his face. It wasn’t unusual for him to be excited
about meeting with Ajax, but today he had a particularly odd amount of butterflies fluttering inside
of his stomach. He attributed that to the bag in his hand. He knocked on the door and stood outside
patiently.

He heard a loud clatter followed by Ajax exclaiming “fuck!” from behind the door. Zhongli
chuckled to himself and looked at the dropbox by the entrance. Maybe he would leave a gift there
sometime. The idea of Ajax being surprised by something special left by him made the smile on
his face grow wider.

Ajax opened the door in a rush, brushing his bangs out of his eyes and flashing a wide smile at
him. “Hi, Zhongli!” he grinned, motioning him to come inside. “You’re a little early.”

“How early?”

“Just thirty minutes or so,” Ajax hummed. He led him inside and eyed the bag in his hands as
Zhongli closed the door behind him.

“Did something fall before you got the door?”

Ajax gave him a confused look. “What do you mean?

“I heard a clatter.” And I heard you curse, but I won’t mention that.

“How strong are your senses?” Ajax half-joked. “You shouldn’t be able to hear anything from
behind the door! The Fatui have designed all apartments to be soundproof.”

“My apologies-”

“Don’t apologize,” Ajax laughed with a wave of his hand. “It’s nothing to be sorry about. I just
can’t help but think you may eavesdrop on neighbors sometimes.”

“I do not eavesdrop. That would be an invasion of their privacy.”

“Just kidding,” Ajax hummed before flashing his eyes at the bag in his hands again. “Whatcha
got?”

“I made some purchases for you today,” Zhongli said simply as he took off his shoes.

“Oh? What did you get?” Ajax snatched the bag away from him with a mischievous smile. “Toys?
Something you wanted to try out on me? I didn’t think you were one to go out of your way for
something so dirty!”

Ajax quickly pulled out two different containers of loose leaf sobering and relaxing tea, a bag of
lavender and lemongrass-infused epsom salts, and a variety of muscle-relaxing essential oils. The
wide and naughty grin on his face slowly morphed into something softer as he moved to set
everything on the nearest table. “Zhongli… you didn’t have to get all that stuff. I thought you were
kidding when you said you’d get me that.”

“Don’t thank me. It was with the money you gave me to buy it after all,” Zhongli joked. Ajax
laughed loudly. Zhongli really liked the way his eyes would squeeze shut when he genuinely
laughed, not to mention how pretty it sounded.

“No, really. Even though it was technically my money, I can’t accept-”

“I insist. I’d hate to waste your funds.”

Ajax grabbed the tea and moved to the kitchen to shelf it. “Thank you,” he said with that smile still
across his face. “I really appreciate it, Zhongli.”

“It’s no problem at all.”

Ajax, after moving to put everything in the cabinets, moved to rummage through another one while
Zhongli looked around. His apartment was surprisingly clean, considering all the other times he’d
visited. He wondered what prompted him to straighten up. “Well, since you’ve given me all that, I
guess I should give you this,” Ajax hummed as he pulled out a plain brown bag tied together with a
thin red ribbon. “I asked for some chocolate from home to be imported here and felt like it
wouldn’t be fair to not share.”

“Ah, we are splitting the bag?”

Ajax turned his gaze away as he threw it in Zhongli’s direction. Zhongli caught it swiftly. “No,
dumbass. It’s yours.”

Zhongli looked down at the plain bag. It looked like it was wrapped in a rush. The ribbon was tied
over too many times to look neat and the packaging itself was wrinkled and torn a little, like he
could see where Ajax tried to make it look presentable but gave up halfway through. Zhongli
squeezed the bag a little with his hands before sitting down at the kitchen table, not too far away
from Ajax, and setting it down in front of him. He made eye contact with Ajax and smiled softly.

“Thank you, Ajax,” he said with full sincerity. His heart felt whole at the small gesture. “This
means a lot to me.”

He could see Ajax’s face turn red before he turned it away and out of his sight. “It’s nothing,” Ajax
said with a small laugh. “Plus, weren’t you all pissy in the past about me not giving you gifts?”

“I don’t mind either way.”

“Well, now you got one! So stop fussing at me.”

“Have I been fussing?”

“...No, but still.”

Zhongli smiled a little wider to himself and kept admiring the bag. “I should give you some
confectionaries from Liyue as well,” he hummed, “to return the gesture.”

“There’s no need! Really, it’s fine.”

“I insist. It would also be to repay you for the money you lent me. I feel as if I don’t do enough for
you in return.”

“Don’t do something to repay me!” Ajax snapped, resting his fists on his hips and glaring at him in
adorable stubbornness.

“How can I not when you gave me this to repay for the teas and salts?”

“You’re an idiot, Zhongli! I didn’t give you chocolate to repay you for anything! Can I not just do
something nice for you, damnit?!”

Zhongli felt a smirk cross his face. “If the notion of this gift was not to repay me, when were you
planning on giving me this?”

Ajax blushed deeper and kicked the floor a little. “Not important,” he snapped. Zhongli started to
laugh again which appeared to anger Ajax even more. “Now what’s so funny, huh?!”

“You’re very defensive over a gift,” Zhongli managed between giggles. Was he giggling? Actually
giggling? He found it even more strange that he didn’t care in Ajax’s presence.

Ajax huffed. “It’s just a gift,” he said sharply. “And I’m not defensive. If you really insist on giving
me something, you’re more than welcome to come over again.”

“When would be a good time?”

“When I’m off work. I’m always open for other gifts during that time too,” he added with an over-
dramatic wink that made Zhongli laugh again. “Don’t laugh at me! That was not something you
should laugh at. It was super sexy of me to mention it and not funny.”

“You look silly when you say that.”

“I didn’t think the word ‘silly’ was in the ‘oh-so-stoic-and-mature-Zhongli’s’ vocabulary,” Ajax
countered, sitting down next to him at the table with a smirk.

“What would I say then?”

“You are quite immature when you make such confusing analogies,” Ajax grumbled in a fake deep
voice that was far too dramatic and mocking.

“I do not sound like that,” Zhongli huffed.

“You totally do. Speaking of you coming over, when do you want to meet again?”

“Are you already anxious about ‘other activities’?” Zhongli teased. He found that he quite liked
messing with Ajax. He thoroughly enjoyed how his ears would turn pink and he would stumble
over his words.

“N-no, I am not anxious. I just know how you are with schedules,” he declared.

“Nine o’clock again the day after tomorrow?”

“That’s too far away,” Ajax groaned. “Why don’t you come over for my lunch break? Isn’t it the
same time as yours? We can just do a quickie.”

“What was that about you not being anxious to see me?”

“Fuck you and your teasing! Stop being comfortable enough to tease me!”

Ajax punched his arm hard enough for the pain to linger and Zhongli laughed. “Our lunch breaks
are at the same time.”
“I’m usually here and don’t really know when that’ll change. It’d be best for me to meet you but
you can swing by if you’d like just to see. I don’t want it to be a waste of a trip for you though, so
maybe don’t. Just don’t come by after my lunch break ends since I’ll have work or any other time
I’m not off at that.”

“I do not wish to be late again either, so you don’t need to worry about that,” Zhongli affirmed with
a nod.

“Yeah, we can’t have you making me late again! You and your big dick.”

“Me and my what now?”

“You and your big dick. You big dick man.”

“I do not enjoy that nickname.”

“Big dick boy.”

“Stop that.”

Ajax laughed loudly, grabbing Zhongli’s forearm while hunching over to bellow howls. It was
infectious enough that he started to laugh too, quiet in a way he could continue to hear his cackles.
After a while of them laughing together, Zhongli noticed Ajax’s hand was still on his arm.

Ajax noticed this too. He looked down at it for a while before slowly rubbing his thumb over it
with a look on his face that was slowly growing more distant.

“What is it?” Zhongli asked through faint laughs. Ajax smiled a little wider.

“I’m just really happy to be next to you.”

Zhongli looked down at his hand for a while, thinking of those words before he decided they
simply meant what they were. “I’m happy to be next to you too,” he said in a quiet voice before
looking up to him.

His eyes really did look distant but in an especially strange way. He was here with him no doubt,
but his mind was obviously in a faraway place Zhongli couldn’t reach. He couldn’t decide if that
expression was far away, sad, or a strange mixture of both. He wanted to ask if he was alright, but
before he could Ajax leaned in for a soft and gentle kiss on his lips.

Zhongli leaned into it with an unintentional pleased hum and slowly brought his hand up to cup the
back of his head. Ajax started to rub his forearm gently, massaging it while his other hand lightly
touched his. He felt Ajax’s gloved fingers quietly nudge against his own in a silent question and
Zhongli welcomed them in response.

Ajax squeezed his hand lightly as he dove in to kiss him deeper. Zhongli hummed a little louder,
encouraging the other to move his mouth at a slightly faster pace. He heard Ajax slowly slide out
of his chair and his body scoot closer to him before he crept up on his lap, still kissing him deeply.

Ajax pressed his knees to Zhongli’s sides as he sat on it completely, pressing their bodies together
with a soft noise leaving his mouth. Zhongli moved his tongue to press against Ajax’s, making
those soft sounds leave his lips and slowly grow in volume. Zhongli felt him press his crotch
against his before slowly moving as well while kissing him faster and deeper.

Zhongli experimentally let his hands fall from Ajax’s head to trail along the line of his spine,
slowly moving downward. By the time he reached a little past halfway down his back, he felt and
heard Ajax let out a soft whine against his lips, the kiss slowly getting wetter and his mouth feeling
warmer.

His tongue tasted sweet like fruit juice and he smelled especially strong of his usual scent. He
always smelled best to Zhongli when he was slowly becoming more aroused and still covered in
the musk of the day. As much as his soap made his head spin, the effects of the smell of him were
even stronger.

His hands were now moving in circles above the start of his ass. Ajax let out his first moan of the
night and started to grind against him. Zhongli could feel his slowly hardening arousal against his,
and it was already sending waves of heat coursing through his body.

“Do you want to move this elsewhere?” Ajax whispered against his mouth when they parted for a
second. Zhongli felt him lead his hands down even more to grope his ass with a wide smile on his
face and eyes glazed over in pure lust.

Zhongli squeezed the flesh in his hand and Ajax moaned a quiet and light sound as he rolled his
hips in a long motion against the tent in his pants. Zhongli took in a sharp breath through his teeth
and squeezed just a little harder.

“Sure,” he managed to say.

Ajax slowly slid off of his lap, flashed him another smile, intertwined their fingers again, and
started to pull him up from the chair to lead him to his bedroom.

The look of glee and desire he would flash him over his shoulder every now and then as he pulled
him along was making his heart flutter in his chest. Something about the way he acted, no matter
what it was, left him feeling enchanted. Zhongli half-heartedly closed the door behind them as they
entered the room, unable to focus much as Ajax led him to the bed obviously made in a rush.

Ajax let go of his hand suddenly, leaving his touch imprinted on it and Zhongli almost reaching out
for more. Ajax pulled his shirt over his shoulders in one fluid motion before tossing it aside like it
was a shedded burden. Zhongli stared at his newly exposed chest all the while. In the dim light, he
could see the outline of every muscle, every dent, and every scar. Ajax made eye contact with him
through half-lidded eyes and smiled again.

“Still like what you see? I’d hate for you to get bored of it.”

“How could I not?”

Ajax laughed and reached out to unfasten Zhongli’s coat. “You should make a habit of wearing
fewer layers,” Ajax hummed, those blue eyes hiding behind red lashes as he focused on working
his fingers. Zhongli could smell his hair from this close and felt the urge to nuzzle his nose into it.
“I always thought it was a shame that you were hiding such a beautiful body from the world.”

“I thought the markings on my arms and chest were not suitable.”

Ajax stopped pulling his coat over his shoulders to look up at him. “Not suitable?”

“I am the only one who has them and has not gotten rid of them yet. I did not think others would
want to see.”

Ajax paused for a moment. “You let me see.”

“You are not others.”

Zhongli saw color cross his ears at those words as his coat hit the floor while Ajax took his gloves
off. “You look amazing,” he breathed as he held Zhongli’s hands up to take his gloves off as well.
“Don’t think your markings are something to hide.”

After throwing his gloves aside, Ajax began to unbutton his dress shirt and kiss along the start of
his tattoos. “They drive me wild,” he whispered against his slowly heating skin. “All of you makes
me feel like I’m going crazy, Zhongli. I think I’m losing my sanity just a little every time I touch
you.”

“I do not want to upset-”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Ajax laughed quickly, moving his fingers to unbutton his shirt faster.
Zhongli could already feel how tight his pants were as Ajax started kitten licking his neck. He
tucked in his bottom lip to keep a groan from escaping this soon. “I like losing myself with you.
Makes me think that there’s just us and nothing else matters. Makes me feel like I’m yours.”

Ajax stopped his movements suddenly. “Sorry, that was weird of me to say-”

“I don’t mind you saying that at all.”

Zhongli felt like the flicker inside of him was ignited with gasoline. “I quite like the idea,” he
found himself growling. It felt true. Too long had he fantasized about Ajax sporting his markings
and moaning his name to deny it.

Ajax’s face flushed as Zhongli mindlessly started to undo Ajax’s pants for him. “I can show you
how much I do like the idea tonight, if you’d like,” he offered in a deep and low voice against his
ear. He felt like he was getting better at this whole dirty talk thing.

He heard Ajax gulp and felt him nod his head. “I’d like that,” he breathed as Zhongli pulled his
pants and boxers down enough to expose his intimates. “I’d really like that.”

Zhongli led him against the bed and lightly pushed him down on it. Zhongli hovered over him as
Ajax kicked his pants off, trailing deep and rough kisses across his bare chest. Zhongli heard his
pants fall to the floor, leaving him completely nude as his mouth danced across darkening and
hardening nipples. He took one in his mouth and started sucking and nibbling on it before soothing
it with his tongue. Ajax moaned high sounds all the while, desperately bucking his hips up with a
whine.

“Zhongli,” he breathed, lacing his fingers in his hair. “F-fuck, Zhongli…”

“I love it when you say my name,” Zhongli growled against his skin, slowly moving downward.

“Zhongli,” Ajax whimpered a little louder when his teeth grazed across his abs. “Zhongli, it’s
good. Ahh, y-you’re getting really good at this.”

“This is good for you?” Zhongli gripped his thighs and forced them open as if Ajax wouldn’t do so
himself. Ajax moaned again, tilting his head up a little and his glassy eyes hiding behind beating
lashes.

“Fuck, yes,” he panted. “So good. Zhongli, you’re doing s-so good.”

Zhongli took that encouragement to move down to the start of Ajax’s happy trail in a long and
slow lick that sent Ajax unraveling. He leaned back for a second to admire the sight of his flushed
and splotching skin from the sudden blood rush to his head and intimates, the trail of dark marks he
left all over him (he was getting a lot better at leaving hickeys), and how his entire body was rising
and falling in deep breaths. Zhongli felt pride swell stupidly in his gut.

His skin felt so good under his hands and smelled even better. He couldn’t get his scent out of his
mind. It sent him spiraling out of control. He and Ajax were the same in that sense. He felt like he
was losing his sanity just a little every time their bare skin brushed against each other.

Just feeling Ajax naked and vulnerable before him was enough to make his consciousness slip
away. Knowing that he was trusting him with his body this closely was… Was…

“Are you gonna keep staring at me or get on with it?” he heard Ajax ask with a smirk in his voice.

“You’re just so beautiful,” Zhongli breathed. Ajax stuttered a response that slowly morphed into a
moan when Zhongli started kissing down again.

“Are you about to go down on me?” Ajax asked in an airy voice.

“What does that mean?”

“Like… perform oral sex.”

“Yes, if that is alright.” Zhongli trailed his hands a little higher up his thighs and watched Ajax’s
expression melt a little more.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want,” Ajax reminded. “You didn’t look like you
enjoyed tasting me that much last time.”

Zhongli thought on his words for a moment. “Can you tell me when you’re about to cum?” he
finally asked sheepishly. Ajax laughed lightly at those words and started to pet his head. Zhongli
felt a purr rumble from his chest that he couldn’t contain.

“Sure. Don’t be shy about asking, Zhongli. I promise it’s okay.”

Zhongli nodded and kept kissing down until his lips met the base of Ajax’s cock. Ajax moaned a
little louder, still petting his head as Zhongli fell down to his knees from the side of the bed. He
trailed his mouth up the shaft in a slow lick, earning a grip on his hair that sent shivers down his
spine.

“Fuck, that’s good,” Ajax cursed in a hiss. “Zhongli, your mouth is so hot and soft. It’s really good,
fuck it’s so good. Ahh…”

Zhongli wrapped his lips around the tip and held the base with one hand while the other continued
to trace the inner parts of Ajax’s spread legs. Ajax mewled when he started to suck gently, swirling
his tongue around the sensitive head and slowly moving the hand steadied at the base to pump it
into his mouth. He looked up through his lashes to see Ajax’s head thrown behind him and back
arching slight enough to be teasing and encourage him to work harder.

Zhongli felt the last present part of his mind slip away as he dove his head halfway down the
length, still sucking and swirling around it. He felt Ajax buck a little in his mouth, forcing him to
take in another inch, but he found that he didn’t really mind. He moaned a muffled sound as he
began to bob his head and suck harder.

Ajax gasped and tugged his hair lightly and led Zhongli to pop off his cock with panting breaths,
still mindlessly pumping him slowly with his hand. Ajax leaned his head up to look at him with
dilated and blissed-out eyes. He wet his lips with a flick of his tongue before speaking, making
Zhongli melt where he kneeled.

“Can I fuck your mouth?” Ajax asked in a breath. Zhongli was still pumping him.

“I don’t follow,” he managed to say. He squeezed down on him a little, making Ajax groan and his
legs tremble.

“Like… ahh, t-thrust in your mouth,” Ajax managed. “Is that okay?”

Zhongli thought on his question for a while. “Sure,” he decided with a nod. “Just don’t do it too
roughly.”

Ajax nodded weakly and Zhongli dove his mouth back on his arousal. He felt Ajax buck his hips
again experimentally, and he opened his mouth a little wider and took him a little deeper in
response. The hand on his head gripped tighter as he thrust inside lightly enough to not be
considered rough but deep enough for it to go down his throat.

Zhongli moved the hand steading the base to grip his thighs with both hands again, holding onto
them tightly to keep himself steady as Ajax continued to thrust inside his open mouth. He heard his
moans growing louder and more erratic as he moved deeper as Zhongli moved his head down
eagerly to take more of him and start sucking.

“Zhongli, fuck, ahh, you look so good like this,” he heard Ajax moan. “W-who knew you could
give and take cock so well?”

Zhongli considered that statement a compliment. He moaned around Ajax’s arousal again, flicking
his tongue across it and his thrusts slowly grew harder and faster. Ajax let out a sharp gasp when
he bottomed out in Zhongli’s mouth, hips lifting off the bed and now grinding deep in his throat.

It felt weird in all honesty, but not unwelcome. Maybe the tent in his pants that was staining was
keeping his sensations nothing but pleasurable as his mind was clouded with desire. Or maybe it
was how much he relished how his mouth was able to make Ajax let out those sounds that shot
heat and want through him every time like they were some kind of spell he was put under.

“Y-your throat isn’t even, ahh, closing up on me,” Ajax breathed as he ground into him deeper.
“Fuck, you take it so good. So good.”

Zhongli felt his vision start to fade and his chest heave for a breath, so he tapped Ajax’s thighs in
hopes he’d understand. Ajax pulled out of his mouth, leaving Zhongli to gasp and cough hoarsely.

“Are you okay?” Ajax managed to ask in between breaths of his own. Zhongli nodded and gasped a
long inhale before slowly breathing it out.

“I’m alright,” he managed. He felt Ajax loosen the grip on his hair and start petting again.

“You’re doing such a good job,” he heard Ajax whisper. Zhongli watched as he grabbed the base
of his cock and lightly rubbed it against his cheek. “You like taking it in your mouth?”

Ajax’s sudden change in demeanor compared to how he acted when they had intercourse in the
past threw Zhongli off a little. He looked back at Ajax, focusing on breathing slowly so he could
continue his task soon. “I wouldn’t have initiated it if I found it unpleasant,” he settled on saying in
response. With those words, he kitten licked up the side and to the tip before swallowing it down to
the base.
Ajax groaned loudly and started grinding his hips up again. “You’re t-taking it so well,” Ajax
breathed through moans. “S-so- ahh, shit! S-Shit!”

Zhongli started sucking as hard as he could, not bothering to try and suppress the loud slurping and
smacking sounds from leaving his lips. Ajax started to properly thrust in his mouth all the while,
pulling out halfway before going back in. Zhongli could feel the restraint in his movements. A part
of him wanted him to completely lose it and another part of him was glad Ajax listened to his past
request.

Zhongli groaned around his cock again and heard Ajax’s moans slowly grow higher and louder.
“Z-Zhongli, I’m gonna cum soon,” he warned. “Fuck, Zhongli, I’m g-gonna cum soon!”

Zhongli was so focused on being in the moment and pleasing Ajax that he didn’t even notice when
his cock began to twitch and leak precum down his throat. It still wasn’t pleasant, but it was much
sweeter and had a better texture than last time. He decided against testing his limits at the change
and pulled back instead. He brought his hand down to start stroking Ajax to his orgasm, watching
through half-lidded eyes as he writhed and moaned in pleasure.

“I want you to,” Zhongli found himself breathing without thinking.

“Y-you want me to cum?” Ajax looked back up to him with his mouth hung wide open as he
continued to moan and gasp. He looked amazing when he was on the brink of orgasm. Amazing.

“I really want you to,” Zhongli affirmed a little too desperately, stroking and squeezing him harder.
With those words, Ajax arched his back in a high bow and moaned loudly as he came in Zhongli’s
hand sharply, coating it with ribbons of white as his pumps slowly grew slower. Zhongli found
himself licking the precum and spit messily sprawled around his mouth as he watched Ajax twitch
and shake through his climax hungrily.

Ajax weakly went limp across the bed when he was spent, catching his breath and closing his eyes
to ride his high. Zhongli crawled back over Ajax to look at him.

His lips were wet and a dark shade of pink, swollen from kissing and puffy for reasons unknown to
him. His eyes were closed and face rosy with blush. His lashes were coated in tears and his hair
was sticking to his glistening forehead. His scent was so strong from releasing so much that
Zhongli’s vision was blacking out in the corners and his head was full of it. He thought he liked
what Ajax looked like as he floated in the high of his post-orgasm he gave to him the most.

Ajax’s eyes fluttered open for a moment and he smiled. Fuck, he smiled at him, flashing his teeth
and squinting those blue eyes behind ginger lashes. It made Zhongli’s gut boil in desire and leap at
how precious he looked at the same time.

“You were so sweet to do that for me,” Ajax grinned. “It was too good for me to not pay you
back.” Ajax moved to sit up and Zhongli leaned back to give him room. Already, Ajax’s eyes were
sparkling in excitement and energy as if he wasn’t gasping for breath and sprawled in exhaustion
seconds ago. “How about I return the favor?”

The thought of getting anything in return from any act of service to Ajax was ludicrous to Zhongli.
He felt a great desire strong enough to be considered a need to care for him in every way possible.
It felt more than right to please Ajax to the best of his abilities, more than anyone had pleased him
before, to the point where all that was on his mind was him. His name staining his lips just wasn’t
enough anymore.

“I was hoping to focus on you tonight,” he found himself saying instead of all of that.
“And I won’t have it.” Zhongli tensed for a second then relaxed when Ajax trailed a hand over his
bare chest. “You make me feel so good, Zhongli. You’re amazing at it, even. You have a talent,
I’ll give it to you. Surely you’ve thought about receiving instead of giving?”

“I don’t follow.”

Ajax leaned a little closer. Maybe it was adrenaline that got him so energetic all the sudden. “I’m
saying you took my cock so well in your mouth, Zhongli. Would you take it in other places just as
well for me?”

Zhongli blinked, processing his words. He’d never even thought about it. “I was not planning on
doing such things tonight,” he said a little too plainly. The thudding of his heart in his ears and the
pain of being this hard for so long was starting to melt his thoughts into a pile of mush.

“But did you think about it?” Ajax leaned to brush his lips against his ear. “Did you think about
how good it would feel if I fucked you for a change?”

“Were you not leading my hands to grope your ass earlier?”

Ajax giggled. “I had a little change of heart when you let me use your mouth like that.”

“Then you’re opposed to continuing as normal?”

“Not at all, but if you want we could totally-”

Before Ajax could finish his sentence, the need to relieve the ache between his legs overtook all of
Zhongli’s actions. He roughly pined Ajax down to the bed, holding his hands over his head tightly
and pressing his knees on his thighs. Ajax squirmed for a second before making eye contact with
him and visibly melting again.

“I’m sorry to turn down your request, but I have already made up my mind on who will be
receiving tonight.” He meant that statement to be collected as usual, but it came out in a low growl
that made the body under him shudder.

“You’re finally taking initiative to be in charge, huh?” Ajax teased with a tilt of his head. “What
gave you the confidence to start being so dominant?”

“I don’t follow.”

Ajax giggled again. “You’re cute,” he smiled.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Hell no. While you’re at it, convince me I want to receive.”

“If you’re unsure you want to continue we can stop-”

“For fucks sake Zhongli, I want to! I was just trying to dirty talk!” Ajax groaned with a small
laugh. “Keep going, damnit!”

“Do you have lube?”

Ajax grumbled some more as he grabbed a bottle already set out on the nightstand. “Hurry it up,”
Ajax demanded as he shoved the bottle in his hands.

“You’re quite desperate for me to fuck you considering your comments earlier,” Zhongli observed
as he squirted some lube on his fingers. Ajax blushed a deep shade and smacked his teeth.

“If you make me any more impatient maybe I’ll pin you on the bed,” Ajax snapped at him. “You
really take your time, huhh hhaahhh…”

His snide remarks morphed into a long and drawn-out moan as Zhongli thrust the first finger inside
without warning. Ajax’s mouth fell open and all hostility on his face melted instantly into pure
bliss when he curled his finger into the perfect spot like it was muscle memory.

“You’re already slick and loose here,” Zhongli observed in a low whisper, the feeling of his hole
around his finger going straight to his straining cock. “Did you already prepare yourself before I
arrived?”

“Maybe,” Ajax mumbled, turning his head to the side to avoid eye contact.

“Then your requests for me to receive were truly useless, weren’t they?”

Ajax stuttered over his words and eventually gave up with another moan when Zhongli
experimentally thrust three fingers inside at once to test just how thoroughly he prepared himself
for him. Watching him get this flustered and struggle with snapping back through pleasure
encouraged Zhongli to keep talking mindlessly. “I wonder if anything can make you feel as good as
you’re feeling now,” he growled, leaning over so he could tease him directly against his ear and
hear every delicious moan clearer. “I can’t imagine you being desperate for anything but my cock
in your hole.”

“Fuck you and your dirty talk,” Ajax whimpered, visibly cringing for saying that so weakly. “Fuck
y- ahh- you for g-getting so good at it.”

“Is it bad that I’m getting good at it?”

“I’ll c-cum again if you k-keep going, damnit!”

Zhongli felt a smile creep across his face. “You’ll cum this soon just from me reminding you how
much you want it and fingering you?”

Ajax arched his back against Zhongli’s chest with a long and desperate mewl. “J-just fuck me
already,” he whimpered. “Just, please just-”

“And now you’re begging?” Zhongli was glad Ajax couldn’t see the stupid smile on his face.
“Already you’re begging? When moments before you said you needed to be convinced to
receive?”

“F-fucks sake, Zhongli! J-just do it!” Ajax bucked his hips forward to grind his already leaking
cock against the painful tent in Zhongli’s pants. That was all the convincing Zhongli needed.
Zhongli impatiently undid his pants and pulled his boxers aside just enough to free his cock, too
impatient to fully undress, and pulled his fingers out of Ajax with a whine from the other.

He forcefully pulled Ajax’s knees up, nearly folding him in half, to lift his ass up so he could align
himself, not noticing how Ajax’s eyes widened and his face went flush.

“Y-you’re about to mate press me?!” Ajax exclaimed. “You have to rub it in that much, huh?!”

“What’s a mate press?”

Ajax stuttered over his words before just cursing. “You know what? I don’t even care. Fucking do
it.”

Zhongli aligned himself while burying his face in Ajax’s neck and breathing deep breaths of his
intoxicating scent before starting to sink in perhaps a little too fast out of impatience. Ajax didn’t
seem to mind at all though, considering the noises he started to make and how his legs shook
underneath Zhongli’s firm grip.

Knowing he was the one bending him back like this and making him moan this loudly was making
Zhongli feel feral with lust. Ajax choked on a cry when Zhongli pushed in all the way quickly,
jolting a little and grabbing his shoulders desperately for support.

“F-fuck that’s deep,” Ajax hissed in a shaky voice. “Y-you’re s-so deep, Zhongli. I c-can’t-”

“Can’t? Do you need to sto-”

“If you ask if I need to stop one more goddamn time I’ll kill you. J-just start moving already!”

Zhongli took that as permission to start thrusting. He meant to go slow and let Ajax adjust, but his
desperate moans and tight grip on his shoulders made his mind spiral and his hips move
erratically.

He spent so long waiting for this moment that he embarrassingly felt close to the edge already. He
sank his teeth in deeply and mindlessly while pounding inside of Ajax to restrain himself, making
Ajax cry out a sob.

“S-so rough,” Ajax moaned in a sob. “ F-fuck, y-you’re- ahh, in me… so deep, so hard…”

Zhongli groaned loudly against his neck and tasted a metallic tang in his mouth. He started to suck
roughly on the bite and Ajax moaned louder, jerking against him in a desperate plea for even more.
Zhongli forced his thighs open as wide as they could go as he continued to pound into him,
squeezing his eyes shut and groaning louder to keep himself from falling over the edge too soon.

“More,” Ajax begged. “M-more, so good, ahh, s-so good, Zhongli…”

That did it. He couldn’t take any more. Ajax moaning like that combined with the excruciating
wait was enough. He moaned a purely wanton sound as he spilled more than what was normal
inside of Ajax, steadying his hips as deep as they could go and grinding into him through his
orgasm. He then felt Ajax whimper and clench down on him as he too fell over the edge, making
Zhongli’s never-ending high continue a little stronger and longer as his body shook and lewd
sounds kept punching their way out of his chest.

Zhongli let go of his legs and collapsed on top of his chest, suddenly exhausted. Ajax slowly
started to run his fingers through his hair after a second of collecting himself. They both laid there
in silence other than the loud panting of their breaths mingling together in a song Zhongli could
never get tired of.

“Cleanup?” Ajax suggested in a quiet breath after several minutes. Zhongli used the last of his
mental strength to pull himself to reality at those words.

“Y-yeah,” he managed to say.

___
“I’m afraid I wasn’t able to, uh, as you put it, ‘top’ you for very long as I got too excited. My
apologies.”

“Maybe if you weren’t so suddenly good at foreplay, we both would’ve lasted longer.”

Zhongli didn’t know if Ajax was teasing him or not. He settled on turning the faucet off and
dropping in a little bit of lavender essential oil and a few scoops of epsom salts in the bath before
climbing in alongside him as he thought on a response. “If I should proceed to penetrative sex
earlier, I will in the future.”

“I was just picking on you.”

“Ah, I see.”

Ajax splashed some water at him and scrunched his face up. “You put too much effort into
aftercare too. I think you’re the first to put so much thought into a bath.”

“I am simply doing my best to ensure this experience is good for you.”

“Spoken like a pro,” Ajax smirked.

“I am nowhere near such a title, I’m afraid.”

“That’s pretty true, but you’re a fast learner. Maybe after a few months you’ll be there.” Ajax
smirked a little more. “And maybe by then I’ll finally top you.”

“Is that something you still want to do?” Zhongli countered. “You looked like you enjoyed
yourself quite a bit tonight.”

“Shut up.”

Zhongli chuckled. “You get flustered very easily,” he smiled.

“I do not. Shut up.”

“You’re blushing, Ajax.”

“No, you are!”

Ajax splashed more water at him before starting to rinse sweat and musk off of him with cupped
hands. “I’m kinda ready to go to bed in all honesty,” Ajax admitted with a sigh. “Let’s wrap this
up.”

“Is the bath not suitable?”

Ajax sighed. “Of course it’s suitable, Zhongli. You’re fucking perfect at everything, how can it not
be suitable?”

“Then you’re anxious to get in the bed together and cuddling? I find you quite enjoy physical
affection after intercourse.”

Ajax blushed a little deeper. “Maybe,” he admitted in a mumble.

Zhongli couldn’t help but admire him, body glistening with water and hair damp, face radiating
from his after-sex glow, lips still swollen, and his averting eyes glittering with that sparkle Zhongli
rarely got to see. Ajax made eye contact with him and raised an eyebrow. Every expression he
made was just so cute Zhongli didn’t think he could stand it.

“Are you gonna stare or start cleaning up?”

“Sorry,” Zhongli apologized before starting to rinse himself off.

“Like there’s something to be sorry about.”

They finished bathing after a short while and continued to talk perhaps a little too casually
considering what they just did together before emerging out of the bathroom. Ajax shamelessly
continued on to the bed with a towel wrapped around his waist while Zhongli sheepishly followed
suit.

Ajax looked over his shoulder as he turned the lights in his bedroom off to prepare for bed. “What
are you acting so shy about?”

“It’s a bit cold,” Zhongli admitted slowly, feeling bad instantly for complaining. Ajax sighed to
himself and moved to rummage through his dresser before tossing a plain and soft pair of pants to
him.

“Here,” Ajax said simply, “since you’re so high maintenance.” Zhongli could see the playful smile
on his face, so he took that comment as a joke as he slid the clothes on.

“May I also borrow some undergarments?” Zhongli asked shyly, worrying about inconveniencing
him more. Ajax grumbled a little before tossing some striped and loose fitting boxers at him.

“That’s all you’re getting,” Ajax announced.

“No shirt?”

“I don’t want you to smell like me all night.”

Zhongli and Ajax both blushed deeply when they both processed those words. “Aw,” Zhongli
found himself saying to himself.

“Shut up!”

Zhongli chuckled to himself as he slid the boxers and pants on under the towel tied around his
waist before moving it to the hamper Ajax surprisingly had out. The smell of Ajax was now all
around him and the new sensation was almost overwhelming. He greatly wished he had a shirt he
could bury his nose in, but he didn’t want to ask twice.

“You’re blushing.”

“This really does smell like you,” Zhongli found himself blurting before he could stop himself.
Ajax’s face turned cherry red and he huffed a breath.

“Bet that’s your freaky dragon senses,” he decided with a grumble. “Normal people can’t smell
pants.”

“It may be,” Zhongli admitted shyly.

“Do you have freaky dragon instincts too?”

“Dragons have no need for primal instincts. Mythical creatures are beyond such.”

“That’s boring and kinda disappointing.”

“What were you hoping for?”

“...Nothing.”

Ajax moved to the bed and Zhongli followed. He caught sight of a medium-sized sleek brown box
sitting on the edge of his bedside table with several buttons and dials on the top. The middle had a
circular shape with a unique pattern embedded on it Zhongli had never seen before. In fact, he was
sure he’d never seen the item itself before, either. The novelty of it kept his eyes locked on it as he
struggled to decipher what it was, its monetary value, what use the parlor could perhaps gain from
having it, and its use.

Ajax looked at the box then back to him. “What’s got you so interested in my nightstand?” he
asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

“I am curious as to what that box is,” Zhongli admitted. “I’ve never seen an object of that sort
before.”

“This?” Ajax picked up the sleek, brown box with a shrug. “It’s a radio of sorts. It’s pretty new and
looked neat, so I thought I’d buy it.”

“How much was it?”

“To not be disclosed,” he joked with a grin. “Do you want me to play a song?”

“Does it play music?”

Ajax started to cackle, holding his sides and leaning over. “You old man!” he teased. “You’re
gonna lose your shit when I turn this baby on.”

“Didn’t you say you were ready for bed?”

“No, it’s fine. Seeing you react to this is way more important right now.”

Ajax pressed a button on the top and a moment later, a staticy and loud noise erupted out of it,
making Zhongli jump. Ajax laughed louder at him.

“Are you not into rock music?” Ajax asked with a smirk. Zhongli shook his head.

“If you mean the genre of music Xinyan plays, then I do enjoy it. Though, it isn’t my favorite.”

“What’s your favorite then?”

Zhongli shrugged. “In all honesty, I don’t really know.” Zhongli furrowed his brows in confusion,
studying the box. It looked too small to be an instrument able to play so many sounds and that
perplexed him. “How does that work, exactly?”

“No clue, but it’s pretty damn cool.”

Ajax turned the radio volume up. It all sounded like noise to Zhongli, but it scratched an itch in his
head that he didn’t even know as there. Ajax waltzed up to him with a stupid smile on his face.

“Do you like this?”

Zhongli thought for a moment. “I suppose so.”

Ajax opened his mouth to say something but visibly decided against it, turning his gaze down and
shuffling his feet.

“What is it?” Zhongli asked with a tilt of his head.

“It’s stupid,” Ajax laughed lightly. “Don’t worry about it.”

“No, I would like to hear it.”

Ajax blushed a light color and kept his eyes away from him. “Do you,” he began quietly, “know
how to dance, by any chance?”

“I am well accustomed to Liyue’s traditional-”

“I mean just, like, regular dancing.”

“I am unfamiliar.”

Wordlessly, Ajax took a step closer and gently grabbed Zhongli’s hands. He began to lead him
around the room, moving his shoulders and feet in time with the beat of the song that was slowly
ending.

“What are you doing?” Zhongli asked.

“Am I really that bad at dancing?”

Zhongli blinked. “Ah, I wasn’t aware of this type of dance, my apologies. What is it called?”

“It’s just dancing. Move however you want. There aren’t any rules”

Zhongli began to step in the same rhythm as the next song that was beginning to play while Ajax
hummed along to the opening, swaying his shoulders and hands that were clasped against
Zhongli’s. Zhongli’s chest was feeling light and so were his feet. It was like happiness but…
different. Just a little different.

“Do you know this song?” Zhongli asked as he studied how Ajax hummed. Ajax looked up and
met his eyes. His eyes looked especially beautiful tonight. Everything about him was beautiful. So,
so beautiful.

“I know the words,” Ajax smiled. He loved that smile. “This is actually one of my favorites.”

“I’ve never heard it before,” Zhongli said softly. His hands felt shaky and sweaty in Ajax’s and he
was worried he’d think he was gross. His entire body felt like it was full of electricity and Ajax’s
touch was fiery.

Ajax began to move with more passion, leading Zhongli in a twirl with a small laugh on his lips.
That laugh… That laugh…

That voice. His voice was so…

“I feel so lonesome I could cry,” Ajax sang while squeezing his hands tighter, “but instead I’ll
pass the time…”

He twirled Zhongli around and they both couldn’t help but laugh. This felt so natural with him. So
wonderfully natural.

“Sittin’ lonely with somebody lonely too, well there’s nothing in the world I’d rather do…”

Ajax let go of one of his hands to press a finger against his chest while shrugging in time with the
beat with that wonderful smile on his face, leaning in so close his nose was almost brushing with
his own. Zhongli wanted nothing more than to keep that smile on him forever. To keep him this
happy all the time… oh, what a wonderful thing that would be. And what a wonderful thought to
have.

He felt so silly dancing around in Ajax’s pajamas while the other carelessly moved in just a towel,
but the ridiculousness of it felt charming. Oddly charming and… domestic. He caught himself
thinking of that word. It felt warm and homey even though he knew this wasn’t his apartment. In
the moment, such a feeling felt right and he had no need to think of the technicalities of anything.
There was just this. And that was more comforting than anything.

“Now tell me if you don’t feel this way!” Ajax was singing, not caring at all how off-pitch he was
while he screamed the lyrics at the top of his lungs and filling Zhongli’s ears to the point where
there was nothing but that angelic voice. Zhongli didn’t think to be thankful the walls were
soundproof. “But all I want, all I’ll never need, is someone out there who believes!”

Zhongli couldn’t stop smiling down at him. He was so cute. So gorgeous and cute. His chest felt so
fluttery and so full of joy around him. Only him.

“Sometimes believe, not always believe, sometimes believe…”

Ajax lifted Zhongli’s arm up to spin underneath it before pointing that finger on his chest again and
leading him to start stepping in time with him faster. “Now we don’t have to take it to extremes,
we’ll keep our hands, our legs, even our lips apart!”

He moved that hand to cup his face and Zhongli was positive he was blushing more than he ever
had.

“But I’m giving you my heart.”

They were still swaying. Zhongli was starting to get the hang of this.

“My heart, are you giving me your heart?”

Zhongli wanted to respond to that question somehow in any way even though it was just a lyric he
was singing along to, but he didn’t want to interrupt him. He loved it when he sang. He’d have to
express that to him soon. He loved how he closed his eyes when he got lost in the music.

“Your heart, are you lonely too?”

He loved how he smiled when they danced together.

He loved how perfectly their hands fit together like they were made just to be held.

“Are you lonely too?”

He loved how he got frustrated with chopsticks but was too stubborn to give up.

He loved how his eyes would sparkle when he talked about what he loved.

He loved how he laughed at his jokes and teased him with that smirk on his perfect and beautiful
face.

He loved how his face turned pink when Zhongli complimented him.

He loved how he looked like he treasured every moment they were together. Like he mattered.
Like he enjoyed his company even though he felt so inferior to someone so beautiful.

“High five! So am I!”

He loved how he let go of his hands to high-five himself at that lyric.

He loved how he knew this song by heart.

He loved watching him dance.

“All of your life, stuck in time…”

He loved how he grabbed his hands again like he needed that contact with him. Like he needed to
feel his touch. Like he was chosen to be the one to share this moment with him.

“I’m stuck too!”

He loved how he screamed those lyrics.

He loved… him.

Oh Gods, he loved him. That’s what Hu Tao meant. He loved him. With every part of his soul.

Every inch of him was in love with him. He loved him. Now that he understood, that phrase was
all that was echoing in his mind. It all made sense how. It was him. It had always been him.

“I’m stuck with you, you, you, I do!”

Zhongli couldn’t stop the most genuine and wide smile he’d worn in his life from spreading across
his face. He watched Ajax’s expression burst into something purely joyful and lovely as he
laughed loudly, eyes closing and cackles bouncing around the room louder than the song.

“You always look so stoic!” Ajax laughed. “What’s got you smiling like that?”

Zhongli looked down at him and felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes. It was just too much
happiness for him to bear. He’d never felt joy like this.

“I’m having so much fun dancing with you,” Zhongli smiled while noticing how much affection
was unintentionally laced in his tone. Ajax looked up to him and his expression melted into
something so, so sweet and kind. Zhongli wanted to burn that face he made in his memory along
with every other wonderful moment he had with him and never forget it.

“I’m glad.” Ajax’s eyes looked glassy too. “I’m glad… you’re having…”

Ajax laid his head on Zhongli’s chest. “I’m glad you’re having fun,” he whispered as the song
faded, “I’m so glad you’re having fun.”

“Of course I am.” Zhongli was glad he was facing away now so he couldn’t see how the tears were
building up in his eyes as he tried his best to not let them fall. “I always do when I’m with you.”

They were still swaying. Zhongli held his nuzzling face against him while Ajax’s arms wrapped
 around his sides. Zhongli softly pet his hair as Ajax’s head moved up to bury itself in the crook of
his neck and held his chest flush with his own with his other arm. He loved him so much. He loved
him so very much. He felt so warm in his arms and his breathing was the most wonderful sound in
existence. He wished they could stay like this forever.

There was nothing sweeter and more important in the universe than him.

Chapter End Notes

CHILDE: I can totally top you. I’ll put my dick in your ass and you’ll like it. I’m
dominant. I’m in control. My power trip is not baseless.

ZHONGLI: *pins him down exactly once*

CHILDE: Understandable, do as you will.

Anyways I had a blast writing them teasing each other and having snappy/rough sex
while also being sweet, asking for consent, and attentive to how they both feel. I also
had a blast while writing Zhongli being like ??? when Childe tried degrading him
when using his mouth because he doesn’t know that’s a typical “bottom” thing to do
and just sees it as a way to make his partner feel good. I hope you liked this chapter
even though it was very long. I really didn’t intend for it to be it just happened bc I was
really, really excited to write it hhhhh
 I Wish I Could Just Understand
Chapter Summary

Zhongli discovers something important Childe has been keeping from him and decides
to talk to him about it.

Chapter Notes

Uploading this a day earlier from our usual schedule because of Easter being
tomorrow :)

Do you remember all those warnings in the tags and in previous chapters? Well, it all
really gets going in this chapter. There’s no sex in this chapter at all, actually. Right
now is a wonderful part to stop reading if you can’t handle heavy angst and have only
been sticking around for the ol’ spicy. Please do not take the warnings I have given
you light-heartedly or be surprised when you read this since I have warned you
excessively. I apologize if these statements are harsh, I just want you to know what
you’re getting into.

This is the chapter I’ve been foreshadowing like a damn maniac and building up to
since the first one. If you are consenting fully to expose yourself to heavy topics, I
hope you enjoy it. I worked really hard on it and am still kinda AAAA about finally
posting it since I’ve been leading up to this for 2 months but here it is for the world to
see. Thank you again to my beta reader u/Estrogen, you the GOAT and ily. She helped
me so much throughout this whole process, especially this chapter!

Also, I’ve gotten a few comments asking about if certain dark topics will be in this fic.
I promise that I will not include anything worth tagging without doing such. If you
don’t see the tag for it, chances are it won’t be in this fic. If there is anything I miss
tag-wise, please let me know as I want to properly warn my readers on the content
they’re getting into. That being said, I promise that no major dark topics that haven’t
been tagged will be here (for example, there is no and will be no non-con, underage
stuff, or graphic violence). Thank you guys so much for all the constructive criticism
and help you’ve given me so far! I’m still getting used to and am fairly new to this
platform and thanks to you all I’ve learned a lot!

That’s all from me, here we go, folks. Get ready for this one.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Zhongli woke up to the feeling of Ajax lightly nudging him and the faint light of early dawn
behind his lids. He grumbled a little, still half asleep, and rolled back into the warm body next to
him, nuzzling his face into Ajax’s bare chest and drifting back to sleep.

“Zhongli,” Ajax’s gentle and quiet voice said, “it’s five-thirty. We both need to start getting
ready.”
Zhongli reached around the bed to find Ajax again, slightly distressed from not feeling him next to
him and not processing his words in the sleepy haze he was still floating in. Ajax was quiet for a
moment as if he was silently thinking of what to do next before Zhongli felt him lay back down
next to him. Zhongli instinctively wrapped his arms and legs around him before feeling Ajax start
to softly pet his hair. Zhongli felt a purr rumble from his chest as Ajax’s fingers tucked loose
strands of hair behind his ears and softly caressed his face.

“You really were purring and not snoring, huh,” he heard Ajax mumble under his breath with a
small laugh. “That’s weird. Freaky dragon man.”

Zhongli was too tired to decide if those words were an insult or an observation or to think that he
should change his form to not purr since, apparently, humans didn’t do that. The fondness those
words had made him think it was probably neither. He felt Ajax lightly kiss the top of his head,
still stroking his hair quietly.

“Are you still asleep, Zhongli?”

Zhongli didn’t have the strength yet to respond, so he stayed quiet.

“I guess we can wait five more minutes.”

Ajax snuggled in close with Zhongli, wrapping his arms around him in turn, and kissed the top of
his head again lightly, keeping his lips lazily glued there as he lightly glided his nails across his
back. Zhongli felt his entire body relax and feel just a little heavier as he slowly drifted again.

“Still asleep?” Ajax whispered, lips fluttering against where they stayed. He could feel him softly
smelling his hair as Ajax’s scent consumed all of his thoughts and consciousness.

Zhongli didn’t respond, still not registering the words.

“We could just stay like this,” Ajax continued to whisper. “Neither of us has to get up to go to
work. We could just stay here forever.” Zhongli felt him kiss the top of his head again. “Wouldn’t
that be nice? If this never had to change and we could just… stay here together like this… for the
rest of our lives?”

Ajax was quiet for a moment. “We’d never have anything to do,” he barely spoke, his words
choking a little. “Nothing can touch us here. I can keep kissing your head and you can just sleep.
Nothing bad could ever happen to us and I could just forget everything again. And when you wake
up we can just cuddle until we fall asleep again and never have to leave.”

Ajax released a shaky breath as he kissed his head again. “Wouldn’t that be so nice?” he whispered
in a shaky voice. “Wouldn’t you like that, love? Wouldn't you like to just keep sleeping here? Is
this ok? Wouldn’t… you like…”

Ajax’s words trailed off as he lightly kissed his head again. Zhongli hugged Ajax a little tighter
and blinked his eyes open unintentionally. Ajax noticed this, let go of his embrace, and started
nudging him again. “Zhongli, you sleepy head,” Ajax teased. “Come on, it’s time to go to work.”

Zhongli let go of him with a grumble and Ajax laughed lightly before sitting up to climb out of bed.
“How long were you awake?” Zhongli managed to ask, his voice deep and scratchy from the early
morning. Ajax shrugged with a smile.

“Not long,” he hummed. “Just long enough to make toast. Want some?”

Zhongli rubbed his eyes. “Sure.”

“Hurry it up. Can’t have you late and my shower takes a long ass time to warm.” Ajax paused.
“How long have you been awake?”

Zhongli grumbled.

“Did you hear anything?”

Zhongli grumbled again and Ajax looked like he accepted that answer. Hear? He didn’t remember
anything except sitting up due to the cloud of early morning still fogging his mind.

Zhongli stood up and looked at Ajax humming his way into the kitchen. He had a terrible case of
bedhead and was wearing what appeared to be a bathrobe. He turned around for a moment and
Zhongli could see hickeys and bite marks all over his chest and abdomen. Zhongli felt a deep blush
crawl over his face and ears.

“What?” Ajax asked with a light laugh.

“You may need to cover those marks up.”

Ajax waved his concern off with a smile. “It’s whatever. Come on.”

Zhongli followed him to the kitchen and was met with a plate stacked with burnt toast and splotchy
scrambled eggs. A pile of dishes too high considering he only made two things were in the sink and
a carton of pineapple juice sat on the counter along with a spare cup. Zhongli sat down at the
counter and Ajax waved at the food.

“I know I suck at cooking, so don’t say a word,” Ajax half-joked. “The water doesn’t work in the
mornings sometimes and it hates me today, so I just have juice unless you want vodka.” Ajax
laughed at his joke while Zhongli stared at his smiling face fondly. He really did love him. “You
don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to.”

If it was anyone else, Zhongli would’ve refused to put it in the nicest way possible, less than
adequately cooked breakfast on the table without hesitation. Because it was Ajax, he grabbed a
piece of black toast and sank his teeth into it, trying his best not to scrunch up his face in disgust as
it crunched too loudly. He wondered if it was his pickiness or Ajax’s cooking that made him react
that way.

“Maybe we can wake up earlier and pick up breakfast at Wamin,” Ajax said mostly to himself as
he stacked some eggs on his toast and bit into it like he was a starving man into a gourmet meal.

“Maybe,” Zhongli agreed, instantly worrying that he hurt his feelings. To his relief, Ajax just
laughed and nodded. “Actually… what are you doing tonight?”

“I don’t have anything planned.”

“Why don’t we just meet again then?” The thought of leaving Ajax’s side was already making him
feel lonely, so he couldn’t help but throw the invitation out there.

Ajax perked up instantly. “I’m off tomorrow,” Ajax announced with a grin. “If you can, maybe we
can get breakfast that morning?”

“Let’s plan on it. I don’t have work, either.” Zhongli couldn’t stop his smile when he saw how
Ajax’s eyes lit up. The thought alone of seeing him get so excited just from talking about the time
they wish to spend together made his heart feel full of pure love.
“Maybe we can plan the day we scheduled before later tonight then,” Ajax hummed. “What else
would you want to do after we went for breakfast in the morning?”

“I am quite fond of strolls and teaching you of Liyue’s history, but you expressed you wanted to do
other activities instead,” Zhongli began. He set the toast down and noticed there was no silverware
set out. Ajax was a terrible host but somehow that made his heart fond for him even more than it
already was. “I shall think of other activities to do in Liyue.”

“You’re just old,” Ajax teased with a smile. “I’ll say though, you sure do like your walks and
talking.”

“Well yes,” Zhongli agreed. “I am always happy to teach everyone about my home.”

Zhongli set his pride aside and picked up a chunk of egg with his fingers since that’s what Ajax
was doing. Maybe that was custom to do in Snezhnaya and he was unaware of it. The eggs were
equally as horridly cooked as the toast, Zhongli discovered when he took a bite. Maybe he would
have time to pick up something on his way home.

“I apologize for my pickiness,” Zhongli said with a sigh. “I greatly appreciate the gesture, Ajax.
Thank you for breakfast, please excuse my rudeness. I truly do appreciate-”

“Everyone?”

Zhongli looked up to Ajax’s blank expression. Maybe he did hurt his feelings by not liking the
breakfast he made. “If you mean my statement about teaching others of my home’s history, yes. I
apologize again for my-”

“So,” Ajax interrupted for a second time, “how many people do you talk about the archon war and
artifacts and all that stuff with?”

“As many people who express they are interested,” Zhongli said with a shrug. His behavior was
quite odd. “I’ve had new employees at the parlor ask about gods they are interested in regarding
their history, people who discover I am knowledgeable on the topic. Sharing passion in history is a
quick way to make new acquaintances I have discovered… Ajax, maybe I can cook breakfast next
time to make up for my behavior. I apologize again.”

Ajax was quiet. His face was still blank and unmoving.

“Ajax?”

“Would you have taught those people you’ve never met before all of the history you’ve taught
me?”

That was a strange and out-of-place question for Ajax to ask, not to mention obvious. “Yes,”
Zhongli said with a shrug. “I’ve told many people the same things I’ve told you. Why do you
ask?”

Ajax didn’t respond.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m going to go take a shower,” Ajax declared. “You can stay and shower when I’m done or
whatever you want to do. Sorry for not making breakfast that good.”

“It’s alright, I’m sorry for not being more appreciative. It was a lovely gesture…”
Zhongli trailed off when Ajax wordlessly started walking to the bathroom in the middle of his
sentence. He heard the door close behind him and the shower start almost immediately, leaving
Zhongli to stand in the kitchen alone.

Maybe he’d feel better if he bit back his pickiness and ate it anyway.

Zhongli ate the now cold toast he bit into earlier quickly so he wouldn’t have to taste it too much
as the sound of the shower running played in the background. He ate another piece and stood up to
wash his now filthy hands over the sink.

He thought of doing the dishes for him, but he couldn’t find any dish soap either. He made a
mental note of buying that for him as well. He could barely fathom how Ajax lived and the more
he got to know him the more obligated he felt to take care of him.

Zhongli took his time putting his clothes on and smoothing himself out. He thankfully looked
presentable enough after spending time on his appearance to be able to freshen up a little at the
parlor when he got there. After sliding his boots on, he looked up at the clock on the wall.

Six-thirty. Perfect timing.

How long had Ajax been in the shower? He wanted to wish him goodbye before he left, but didn’t
even know if he’d be done getting ready by then.

He sure did take a long time showering. How long had it been? He really needed to get going now
and didn’t know if he had the time to wish him goodbye face-to-face anymore…

Zhongli walked to the bathroom door, debating on whether he should just leave or bid him
farewell. He wondered if it would be weird if he told him goodbye behind closed doors, especially
since he would be showering, but decided they had done weirder things in the past.

Zhongli knocked on the door softly and the shower stopped running immediately. It was quiet for a
moment, a little too quiet.

“Ajax?”

A long pause followed. “Yeah?” he finally said, the small and slightly muffled word echoing
across the bathroom walls.

“I need to leave now. I’m sorry that I can’t stay longer.” Another pause followed. “Are you
alright?”

“I’m good,” Ajax said simply. “Just a pain in the ass to get these hickeys covered! You should be
nicer to me next time.”

Zhongli chuckled a little to himself. “My apologies.”

“I’ll see you later, Zhongli. Don’t forget your gift.”

“Goodbye, Ajax. I’ll see you later as well. Take care, and thank you again for the chocolates.”

In the back of his mind, Zhongli felt the need to stay and further prove to himself that Ajax was
alright. But, he couldn’t afford another tardy day of work and Ajax bid him farewell first. Perhaps
he would just keep him if he stayed longer, he decided.

Zhongli checked himself for all of his belongings and grabbed Ajax’s gift before walking out the
door.

___

Zhongli popped a piece of chocolate in his mouth as he wrote his monthly report on the progress
the Parlor has made to Hu Tao. The bitter-sweetness on his tongue that melted lavishly almost
made him lose his focus. It was such a thoughtful gift, maybe the best gift he ever received. Of
course, he could only be thinking that because of who was behind it.

Ajax was wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. He was the embodiment of what he loved about
mortals and so many more lovely things. His imperfections were perfect and his charm was fiery
and bright. He was so human, so beautifully human. The very light in his life and the sharpness of
his words and actions left him speechless at times and were truly poetic. The little moments they
spent together made him feel so complete and all the times we could see him happy in his
company motivated him to do more for him to keep that smile on his face always.

Every show of emotion made him fall in love more. Every time he opened up to him, every time he
laughed, every time he cried… Everything. Everything was beautiful. The raw and unapologetic
fire of his character left him speechless. He’d never met anyone in his existence who was so-

His thoughts were interrupted at the sound of Hu Tao kicking the door open. “Hello, Zhongli!” she
obnoxiously sang with a stupid smile on her face. “How’s that report coming along?”

“It’s going well, Director,” Zhongli said cooly, not having any time to grumble to himself.

“Wonderful! I actually just wanted to ask you about something.”

Before Zhongli could give her permission, Hu Tao sat in front of his desk and made herself
comfortable. She must’ve known her leaving the door open and inviting herself in annoyed the
sanity out of him because she just didn’t stop doing it. Zhongli sighed, set his pen down and
pushed aside the stacks of paperwork and data on his desk enough to rest his forearms on the table.
“What can I help with?”

“Have you talked to Xingqiu lately?”

“Yes,” Zhongli recalled with a nod. “We met not too long ago at Wamin-”

“So it was you! How’d you do it?!” Hu Tao exclaimed, standing up and slamming her hands on the
desk like she hadn’t just sat down.

Zhongli blinked. “I do not follow,” he said slowly.

“Chongyun and Xingqiu! They’re talking again! Zhongli, they’re dating! They went from refusing
to be in the same room as each other to dating! All in a day, mind you!” Hu Tao started stuttering
over her words. “I’ve tried talking to them so many times and they wouldn’t have any of it! How’d
you do it? What magic did you perform?! Did you threaten them?! Kidnap them?! You gotta tell
me!”

“First of all, I did not threaten nor kidnap,” Zhongli began, exasperated at the thought of something
so atrocious. “I simply gave them advice.”
“What advice?!”

“I told Xingqiu to go talk to him.”

Hu Tao stuttered over her words some more. “He won’t tell me specifics and neither will you?!
You’re both killing me too early! I have too much work to do now to die this soon!”

“What advice did he say I gave him?”

“The same thing you said and something about there ‘never being a perfect time’, like I know what
that means.”

“I am glad to hear they are on good terms,” he said with a nod.

“That’s all you have to say about that?! They’ve been fighting for three weeks! It was getting on
my nerves, and now they’re just…” Hu Tao paused for a moment. “It must have been some damn
good advice, whatever it was.”

Hearing a vulgar word from his boss did not faze him as much as it would have in the past.

“I am glad it was.”

“Anyways, I wanted to thank you for that,” Hu Tao said with a wide smile. “Our friend group can
hang out again and this time it’s only awkward because they’re so gushy with each other! They
won’t stop cuddling and holding hands and it just grosses me out!” Hu Tao joked with a laugh.
“No bother though, they only have so much time to do all that stuff. Too many people around me
are starting to act like lovebirds nowadays, though.” Hu Tao flicked her eyes down to the chocolate
Zhongli was snacking on at those words and Zhongli blushed a little.

“It’s a gift from a friend,” he clarified.

“Friends don’t just give each other chocolate.”

“They don’t?”

Hu Tao shook her head with a wide smile. “Is it that guy you like?”

Zhongli sighed and looked down to hide the color in his face.

“You really love him, huh?”

Zhongli pondered his response for a moment. “Maybe,” he finally settled on. Hu Tao squealed and
clapped her hands in child-like glee.

“Invite me to the wedding!” she demanded with a grin. “How long have you two been dating?”

“We are not dating,” Zhongli clarified, the mere thought making his ears burn an embarrassing
amount.

“But he gives you chocolate?”

Zhongli did not answer that question in fear of revealing too much about their relationship.

“Did you confess yet?”

“No,” Zhongli mumbled. He didn’t even think about confessing, but now that she mentioned it, he
was reminded he would have to at some point.

“Then I’ll gift you advice as a thank you for mending Xingqiu and Chongyun’s relationship,” Hu
Tao announced. “Tell him, and maybe you’ll hear me knock! I may just start bursting in without
warning if you’ll keep daydreaming about what could be and not responding. Maybe give him
some candy in return! I bet someone from so far away would like to try dragon’s beard for the first
time since it’s traditional and ties in with the culture a lot. And you’re a history nerd, so you’re
giving a part of yourself to him too!”

Zhongli thought on her words for a while. “That’s not a bad idea,” he admitted with a small smile.
“Thank you, Hu Tao- wait, what do you mean by ‘so far away’?”

“Oh, come on. We all know who it is,” Hu Tao sang with a wave of her hand. “Talk to you later,
Zhongli! Thank you again, and you really should just tell him! You both only have so long, after
all.”

Hu Tao skipped out of his office, leaving the door open again. The absurdity of her actions actually
made Zhongli smile a little wider to his surprise as he set another piece of chocolate on his tongue
and stood up to close the door.

He was very glad to hear the good news about Xingqiu and Chongyun. Now, what tea should he
buy to congratulate them…

___

Zhongli wandered through the isles of confectionaries with a hum while he tried to find the perfect
gift for Ajax. He was fond of Hu Tao’s recommendation, but his anxiety made him unsure and kept
him asking himself if that would be perfect enough. He thought of picking out some tea for the
new couple as well while he was there, but he decided he would spend too much time making two
decisions.

He thought on getting a more symbolic gift, but he shook the thought away at the fear of it being
too much. It may overwhelm Ajax if he was suddenly proclaiming his love for him without
warning, even if it wasn’t through words. Speaking of such, when would be a good time to
confess?

Was confession an option? His mind started to swirl as he studied the various dragon beard candy
before him. He didn’t feel like keeping this to himself as he thought it wouldn’t get anywhere if his
feelings were left unsaid, yet the idea of saying something so intense made his stomach twist in a
knot.

How would he say it? “You are very dear to my heart”? A simple “I love you”? Something more
poetic, such as “Your company brings me more joy than I fathomed possible”?

Zhongli sighed and tapped his foot on the floor. He hardly knew if he would have enough time to
pick up a meal during his lunch break considering how much time it was taking him to make a
decision. He must have been wandering through the store for an hour now and he was getting a few
odd looks from the employees. He should’ve brought someone along to help him… Actually, no.
He dealt with his boss enough during work hours. This was fine.

Would the candy stay fresh until he could give it to him tonight? Zhongli cringed at the thought of
giving Ajax a ruined gift.

Now that he was thinking of time… Didn’t they have similar lunch break hours? And Ajax did
give him an open invitation last night to visit during them if his memory served him well… Maybe
he would have enough time to run over there and give it to him.

Zhongli chose the most authentic and traditional brand of dragon beard candy for the sake of
sharing his culture and choosing to follow Hu Tao’s advice in fear of spending more time juggling
options. Maybe more heartfelt gifts were for the future. The thought of courting, or… “asking out”
Ajax without following the appropriate steps first was ludicrous. He would build up to the big
question.

Or maybe he wouldn’t. They did skip to the final stage of intimacy, after all. Their relationship was
quite unique, so maybe a unique approach to expressing his feelings would be the best course of
action.

Zhongli thanked the cashier as he paid her and stepped outside of the shop. He found himself
walking in the direction of Ajax’s apartment, to deliver the gift or to soothe the impatience swirling
within him to see his face again, he had no way of knowing.

Maybe he did just want to see him again. Love… was strange. It affected him strangely.

He welcomed the feeling with a smile on his face as he strolled through the streets leading to
Ajax’s place, feeling a little lighter than he was used to.

___

2308.

Second floor, third hallway, eighth room. He’d been here before.

Zhongli could hear faint murmurs from down the hallway as he made his way down. Ajax once
mentioned that it wasn’t normal for him to be able to hear from behind walls when Zhongli heard
him singing. The thought that he’d hear him sing more often if he never mentioned anything made
him wish he didn’t.

Now that he was approaching, that noise’s source was awfully close to Ajax’s room. And now that
he was almost there, he could pinpoint that was where it was coming from.

Maybe he had a meeting there or something. Not his business. He could see his dropbox from
outside and he’d certainly be leaving his room soon, so it wouldn’t hurt to leave his gift for him
there. The thought of Ajax walking out to see it made a small smile cross his face. He was sure
he’d appreciate the gesture and surprise. He began to wish he made a note as well, but he didn’t
know if he had the time to go all the way back to his office and write one…

He decided against going back. He was here, anyway. Might as well.

He wondered if Ajax thought of him as much as he did. The thought alone made him feel much
younger than he was as his heart fluttered and leapt across his chest and his legs felt lighter than
air.
He took a few more steps forward. Was this hallway really that long? He didn’t remember it being
so.

“...assessed the reports given to us. You’ve completed your assignment well enough, but your
sudden lack of reported information and action was concerning. So, I am here to hear your progress
in person and report back to the homeland myself after hearing directly from you since you’ve
been, as you said, too busy to do such yourself lately. Forgive my intrusion. I am simply here on
orders of Her Majesty The Tsaritsa.”

“The Tsaritsa sends pests like you to bother me past my lunch break? I can send reports on my
own. You’ve wasted a trip.”

Past? Zhongli looked at the clock on the wall.

Oh, he was late. He’d hear about this from Hu Tao for sure. He grumbled a little to himself. When
did he lose track of the time so carelessly? He’d never been so uncomposed before.

“Surely your absence will not be detrimental as you are the highest-ranked Fatui in Liyue. And I
am here precisely because of your lack of reports. Coming back empty handed would mean this
truly was a waste of a trip.”

“You can take my place and deal with all of these fuckers yourself,” Ajax spat from behind the
door. Zhongli really should stop eavesdropping, but he couldn’t help but overhear.

This hallway was really long.

“I am doing my job. Surely you understand,” the other man said as Zhongli finally made it to his
door and began to put his gift in the dropbox. He felt dread start to build up in his gut for reasons
unknown, but he was already here delivering the gift… “Your lack of action regarding the
information you clearly had was furthermore alarming, Tartaglia. It’s not often your work must be
put in someone else’s care. Not that it was a problem for me, of course. I am pleased always to
serve Her Majesty. Speaking of, here’s a letter I was instructed to give you personally to ensure
you’ve received it.”

Zhongli turned away as quickly as he could after putting the gift in the box. It really wasn’t his
business to intrude. His cursed ears and senses. He’d be sure to dim them down when he had the
time-

“Someone else’s care? You’re the fucker who raided the Iron God’s domain, aren’t you?!”

Zhongli stopped dead in his tracks without meaning to.

So it was raided. Recently? But how? There was no way anyone could break that seal.

Unless they knew how.

Now that he thought about it…

Did he… to him… mention at all during his lectures…

But… Ajax- Childe... Who was he? Who was talking right now?

What was he thinking? Ajax didn’t have the reaction of someone who stole from him when they
entered the domain and he wasn’t opposed to visiting, so it made no sense.
Zhongli shook the thought away. He wished he could start walking again, but he felt like he was
frozen in place and his legs were made of lead.

“I was only doing what you were clearly too occupied to do. You said many times you were a busy
man, no?”

Zhongli did not know what to think of that statement. It was him, wasn’t it? What else could that
statement mean?

“I was only doing what you were clearly too occupied to do.” There was no mistaking it.

He slowly turned around and at the door.

“And you’re just as fucking stupid as the rest of those your rank. I hate you people the most out of
all the fuckers out there,” Aj… Chil… Tartaglia spat. “Too much of a bitch to be a harbinger and
with an inflated ego from getting a few more responsibilities than everyone else. Morax is a god
for fuck’s sake! You think just because he doesn’t have a gnosis anymore he can’t find your men
and kill all of you?!”

“Wasn’t it your job to make sure that didn’t happen?”

“You’re asking a damn lot of questions,” Tartaglia growled in a voice Zhongli never heard him
speak in before. “I fear you’ve forgotten who you speak to.”

“I am supposed to ask questions. It is my task to gather intel on-”

“If I fucking tell you my report, you’ll get out of my hair, right?”

Zhongli really shouldn’t be listening.

“I have a list of-”

Zhongli heard a loud clamor that made him jump, an all too violent thud, a pause, then
whimpering.

“I just bought this wallpaper and blood is an incredible hassle to clean. You’d hate to
inconvenience me even more, correct?”

“Y-yes, Sir,” the other man barely spoke.

“I’m not repeating myself. Write your report as I speak.”

Another pause. Zhongli could hear his heart thudding in his ears.

“Being instructed to receive locations directly from the Geo archon himself was tedious and
unnecessary for me to get the job done as I am more than capable and have my own methods . I
cannot begin to describe how ludicrous those special instructions were. Morax is unharmed, so
stop pestering me with questions about that. The other persuasion method worked just as
effectively if not more so. If Her Majesty would stop putting people who were so goddamn stupid
under my lead, I would not be taking so long to report. To think that you can raid without my
orders, or even at all, is idiotic. Despite all artifacts being located and obtained, I must request to
stay in Liyue for a few more weeks for personal reasons. Perhaps if Her Majesty were so kind as to
give me a less boring assignment, I can be of more use. It’s well understood my worth lies on the
front lines.”
All artifacts? All? How many did he…

Morax is unharmed. The other interrogation method worked just as effectively if not more so.

What did that mean?

Surely… it wasn’t… was it?

There wasn’t any other reason, was there? He was so suddenly interested in exchanging intimacy
with him now that he had this assignment, after all. It didn’t feel like coincidence that Tartaglia
was suddenly so flirty and so inquisitive about Liyue’s history at the same time, and he couldn’t
think of anything else he could have done to get that information from him. But… Surely…

He would’ve told him all that anyway without him initiating sex. He would’ve… Even if he barely
knew him would’ve been happy to talk about…

Zhongli slowly took the gift out of Tartaglia’s dropbox.

“There have been few casualties in response to my work and they have been dealt with efficiently.
If my apartment gets raided and I’m interrupted on my lunch break one more goddamn time, no
one’s returning to Snezhnaya.”

Zhongli turned to walk away. He wished he could just stop listening. He wanted to cover his ears
with his hands as he moved back down the hallway, but he was using all of his effort to do just
that.

The gift was heavy in his hands.

“I had to replace my wallpaper last time I was in Liyue and it was troublesome. Very
troublesome.”

“Y-yes Sir, I understand. I-I’m just doing my job, I’m sorr…”

His voice slowly trailed off as Zhongli went down the hallway. He couldn’t think. He found
himself greatly wishing that he could, but there wasn’t a single thought crossing his mind.

Morax is unharmed. The other persuasion method worked just as effectively if not more so.

Zhongli knew exactly what he meant. There was no doubt about it the more the thought on those
words. He didn’t want to believe it, but he knew exactly what he meant.

The sunlight outside Tartaglia’s apartment complex was blinding and painful enough that it felt
like a slap across the face but Zhongli didn’t bother to shield his eyes.

He knew exactly what he meant.

What was he supposed to feel? Angry? Hurt? Vengeful? He didn’t feel anything right now. Was
that normal, or was it odd of him? Was it normal to be concerned with how he was supposed to feel
after hearing that?

He really wanted to think there had been some mistake, but he knew there wasn’t. He wasn’t
stupid. He wasn’t…

...Work.

He still had work. He was late. That was important. That would be a normal thing to be concerned
about.

He should… go to work.

___

Zhongli slowly moved down the corridors of the parlor, keeping his eyes straight and away from
other people. He thought he could hear some people greeting him or see confused faces from
seeing him arrive so late, but he didn’t have the energy to think too much about it.

He sat down at his desk with a sigh and looked down at his hand. He was still holding the gift.

Where was he supposed to put it? Eat it himself? Give it to him anyway? On his desk? By his feet?
Throw it aside? Would that be too childish of him?

He eyed the unfinished report set before him and simply let go of the bag of sweets, letting it fall
uselessly on the floor. He could still feel it against his foot, a reminder that it was still there and the
previous events of the day happened.

He kicked it aside without a second thought. It hit the wall with a thud that was a little too loud.
Well, the candy was certainly ruined now. He didn’t mean to kick it that hard.

Zhongli picked up a chart reporting the productivity of their sales and studied it, even though he
couldn’t read it. The words looked like foreign symbols to him and his mind was full of a strange
fuzz that clouded his vision.

Zhongli set the paper down and kept staring at it. He rested his elbows on the table and his head in
his hands.

What happened earlier?

He knew exactly what did but… it didn’t feel real. It didn’t feel real at all.

Maybe it really was just a misunderstanding.

He kept staring at the paper. Since when was it this hard to focus?

It didn’t seem possible for him to tell Childe that he didn’t wish to meet with him today
considering their schedules. He’d have to wait for him to come over. The event was still six hours
away. He’d have to wait that long.

Six hours… He didn’t know if he could do it.

What would he say? Was there anything he could say? Was it wrong of him to be angry about this?
Was this a normal thing that he was just not aware of through all of the immortal years he lived
through?

Zhongli jumped up when he heard the sound of the door of his office being kicked down and
heavy footsteps marching in.

“An hour late!” He heard Hu Tao exclaim. “An hour! Sir, I do not know who you are, but you
have to bring Zhongli back to me! Or maybe you’re his spirit here to fulfill his unfinished tasks. In
that case, I will simply have to lead you to your realm!”

Zhongli blinked a few times. “My apologies,” he murmured quietly.

“Aiyah, I can hardly believe it!” Hu Tao continued, taking a seat in front of his desk and propping
her feet on it. Zhongli felt that he would’ve been more than annoyed by that action in the past, but
he didn’t care that much now. “An hour! For anyone else working for me, such an action would
force me to warn them about a decrease in pay or something worse. But you! This is very unlike
you, Zhongli! I almost don’t know what to say!”

Hu Tao studied his face for a while then started giggling. “You look like a mess,” she teased with a
grin. “Could it be you’ve spent some time with that man we spoke of earlier and lost track of
time?”

Zhongli looked to the side.

“Oho! I was correct! Not even an argument back!” Hu Tao leaned forward, still grinning widely.
“You better not make this a habit! Have you confessed yet? If you do and get it over with, you can
start properly working for me again. We don’t want this to turn into an issue. After all, there’s only
so much time you have left with us!”

“My apologies,” Zhongli said a little louder. He didn’t know what else he could say to steer her
away.

“Don’t feel guilty! Okay, maybe feel a little guilty since you’re an hour late, but don’t beat
yourself up too much! First time offenses don’t bother me too much. Okay maybe this isn’t the first
time, but still, I promise I’ll let it slide just this once more since I know this isn’t something you
usually do. You’re a very hard worker and I value you. Just don’t make it a habit or I’ll have to
take it a little more seriously!” Hu Tao winked at him and Zhongli looked down, clenching his
fists tightly and pressing his lips together.

Hu Tao was quiet for another while. “Hey,” she finally said in an uncharacteristic gentle tone, “are
you actually okay? You’re not acting like you usually do when I tease you and this is the second
time you’ve been late. I’m a little worried for you in all honesty.”

“I’m fine,” he said through his teeth. “I just need to catch up on the work I have missed. My
apologies, Director. The same mistake will not happen twice.”

“No, Zhongli, you’ve never acted like this before and honestly it’s starting to freak me out. I know
I mess with you. If I said something that upset you I won’t know unless you tell me. And if it’s
something else, it won’t get any better if you don’t tell someone what’s going on. I know I’m
younger than you and stuff, but as your boss, it’s my responsibility to see to anything you need help
with, no matter what it is. You can talk to me if you need to.”

“Nothing is going on.” He knew it was a lie but that was the last thing he wanted was to think
about it right now. “I really should get back to work.”

“Zhongli, I promise you can talk to me. It’s okay-”

“Just let me do my work.”

He didn’t mean for that to come out in such a hiss, but now it was out in the air, he couldn’t take it
back. Hu Tao studied his face for another while and, before he could apologize, she slowly sat up
from her chair, walked out of his office, and closed the door behind her.
Zhongli looked back down at the paperwork on his desk like nothing happened.

He still didn’t really understand anything.

The gift bag was still against the wall. It’d surely melt in the sunlight as if the kick didn’t already
ruin it. The chocolates… The chocolates were still on his desk, too.

Morax is unharmed. The other persuasion method worked just as effectively if not more so.

He felt… he still didn’t know what he felt.

He felt like Childe got much more out of their arrangement than he did, that was for sure. What
would he say if he approached him for sex with his true incentive known?

He felt… used. That was the correct word.

He felt used.

The door opened again and Zhongli couldn’t look up. He heard Hu Tao quietly walk to the side of
his desk, heard the clink of china, then the door close again. He slowly turned his gaze up to see a
cup of oolong tea, the soft floral scent filling the room.

He felt his eyes sting a little as his shaky hands reached out to the cup.

___

8:57 pm said the clock on the wall.

Zhongli hadn’t moved from his seat at the dining table for hours, not that he noticed that much. It
didn’t even feel like he clocked out of work and walked here. He was just sitting here now,
unmoving like he was stone. Time was weird.

If Zhongli didn’t answer the door, would Childe give up and leave? Or would he just waltz in
unprompted like he always did?

The gift was now on the counter. He didn’t even know why he kept it with him. Zhongli picked up
the bag and walked to the trash can.

8:58.

He threw it away and stuffed a few paper towels over it so Childe wouldn’t see. He kept his eyes
away from the door.

He would knock any minute now. Childe was never late. Zhongli didn’t know what to feel.

“Zhongli! Sorry for the wait!”

He was right about Childe waltzing in even if he didn’t answer. He hardly had the strength to look
up and make eye contact with him, but he did.

Childe was a mess. His clothes were wrinkled, makeup obviously smeared only around his eyes,
hair like he smoothed it in a rush, only one glove on, eyes shot red, and the fingernails on his
exposed hand dirty with blood. Zhongli didn’t want to think of why he looked like that.

“Hello, Childe,” he said in his usual tone. He saw Childe’s face falter a little at that name.

“I told you to call me Ajax,” he said with a frown. “Whatever. Anyways, look what I brought!”

Zhongli noticed the radio in his hands and the smile on Childe’s face. “I thought I could play some
different kinds of music for you and see which kind you like the most since you said you didn’t
know what your favorite was! Well, if we have the time at least. I don’t know what all you’ve been
doing. How’s your day been by the way? What all did you do… uh…”

Zhongli moved away from the trash can, to a wall, and leaned against it as he felt Ajax’s eyes
study his face. Zhongli wasn’t sure what kind of expression he was making, but it surely wasn’t as
calm as he intended to keep it.

He would talk to Childe. He was tired of not communicating and hiding his thoughts. He was able
to think through what he’d say at least a little during all the hours he spent sitting in silence. They
would talk about it calmly like adults. Childe would explain to him why he did what he did and
Zhongli would understand. And he would admit everything he had been hiding himself in return.
There would be no more walls.

“Uh, Zhongli? Are you okay?”

Zhongli didn’t know how to respond. “I have been doing nothing,” he said. It felt like the truth.

“Then you should have come to see me! You know you’re more than welcome.”

That hurt. That hurt so much.

Zhongli couldn’t keep his face from contorting a little.

Childe took a few steps towards him. “Work has been a pain in the ass, huh?” He was close. He
was very close. “I get it. It’s more annoying than enjoyable sometimes.”

That hurt too. Childe was very close.

Childe snaked his hands over Zhongli’s chest with a wicked smirk on his face. “You look
stressed,” he hummed as he gently massaged his shoulders. “You won’t mind me relieving it a
little, do you?” He leaned in closer to let his lips flutter over his ear and breathe against it. “I
actually thought of a few more things I want to try out with you. This is the only thing I’ve been
looking forward to and kept my head up all day, to be honest with you. I can make you feel so
much better-”

“I would like to talk to you about something,” Zhongli interrupted in a voice he didn’t mean to
raise.

Childe slowly leaned back, face twisted in confusion. “Are… you okay?” he asked again, voice
sounding a little too concerned for how much he obviously didn’t care about him. “You really
don’t look well.”

“Do I not look the same as I always do?”

“You do, but I can tell something’s wrong,” Childe said. “I don’t know how to explain it, but I can
just tell.”
Zhongli thought for a moment, then sighed. “Sit down,” he said. “I think we should.”

Childe did as he was told and sat down in a chair at the dining table. Zhongli followed suit, sitting
across and resting clasped hands over it.

“You are familiar with the principles of a contract, are you not?”

Childe blinked. “It’s a little hard to not be when I’m fucking the god of them,” he joked with a
small laugh.

A small bubble of anger popped in his gut. Zhongli did not laugh.

Childe awkwardly cleared his throat and looked to the side.

“It’s only ethical to make every part of the agreement clear,” Zhongli continued slowly, “and never
hide anything from the other.”

Childe’s expression changed a little. How unblended his foundation looked around his eyes was
almost comical.

“Never hide anything,” he repeated. “I imagine our agreement of exchanging intimacies should
include discussing why we desire to share such. Perhaps we should agree to make a contract
expressing what we both want and why we want it.”

Childe’s face fell a little and blush was starting to cross his cheeks. Maybe he would admit it,
Zhongli hoped. There was a chance he would say he was using him for information, apologize,
promise to fix his mistakes, and they would both put it all behind them. He was willing to forgive
him. He would forgive him. He was ready to forgive him.

Of course he was willing to forgive him. Anyone else he knew he would show no mercy to. He
loved Ajax. Maybe that love was making him act this kind. He didn’t know if he was too kind. He
had definitely changed over the years.

“Is this fair to you?”

“Sure,” Childe agreed with a smile and so innocent shrug of the shoulders. “I don’t mind.”

“To start off with, is there anything you feel you should share regarding your reasons for initiating
sexual relations?” Zhongli asked as calmly as he could. “Anything specific you have been hiding
from me?”

Childe looked to the ground, paused for a while, then laughed lightly. “You figured it out, huh,”
Childe said softly. “I’ll hand it to you, either I’m terrible at concealing it or you’re not as dense as I
thought. Or both. I… actually was going to tell you soon anyway. I don’t think I’d be able to keep
it to myself much longer.”

Hope fluttered in Zhongli’s gut. He wasn’t a bad guy, he knew this. He knew him, the real him.
They could get past this. They would get past this. They had to get past this.

“I do know,” Zhongli said, “but I want to hear it from you directly.”

Childe drew in a shaky breath and looked up.

“It feels a little weird to say it like this,” Childe laughed softly, “you know… sitting down across
from each other like this is a business meeting. I really don’t want this to change anything between
us, Zhongli. You’re an amazing friend and I know you probably don’t want anything from me but
friendship and the ‘favors’ I’ve been giving you, so please don’t feel obligated to change anything
about us if you don’t want to. I don’t expect you to.”

That… didn’t quite sound like he was about to confess what he needed him to confess. Zhongli felt
dread swell in his gut.

“I’m just going to say it outright because I don’t think I can put it any other way. Zhongli, you
mean so much to me. More than anyone outside my family ever has. Hell, you might as well be
family to me.”

Oh no.

Oh no.

Zhongli had a guess on where this was going, but he didn’t want to believe it. He couldn’t believe
it.

“I… fell in love with you a while ago,” Childe said with a small smile on his face.

The ground under Zhongli’s feet was shattering. The world was shattering. He didn’t know if the
hole in his gut could grow larger, but the deeper those words sank the more it grew.

“Only a few months after we first met I fell for you. I guess that since we started this I realized it
and got it so bad I wasn’t able to hide it anymore.”

He could keep his face straight. He had faced much worse. He would keep his face straight.

He will remain calm. He had to remain calm.

“Was that all you wanted to tell me?” Zhongli asked in a tone that was thankfully steady but much
colder than he intended. Childe’s eyes widened a little and he looked up to him with a hurt
expression that didn’t suit him considering what he’d done .

“You… don’t feel the same way?”

Something snapped inside of Zhongli’s stomach that he couldn’t recognize. No, he could. He felt
this before, unfiltered anger and pain that hadn’t boiled inside of him since who knows when. He
hadn’t felt the sting on his nose of tears preparing to gloss his vision since then, either.

Don’t feel the same way? Of course he felt the same way. How could he not feel the same way?

Zhongli slowly stood up and looked at Childe with a vulnerable expression he didn’t want to think
too much about. He knew the circumstances weren’t as dire now, and yet he could’ve sworn he
was angrier and more distressed than he had ever been. Childe visibly shrank in his seat when they
made eye contact.

“There’s nothing else you’ve been hiding from me?” He really wanted him to admit it. If he could
just admit it everything would be okay.

“What are you talking about?” Childe's face had fallen completely. He looked weak. Zhongli
sighed a long breath in hopes regulating his breathing would help him calm down even just a little.

“Nothing at all?” his voice cracked a little when he asked that question and he hated it. “Nothing at
all you can think of that you’ve been hiding from me that you need to tell me?”
“What are you talking about? Zhongli, are you actually okay? You’re acting really weird.”

He’d given him so many chances. He felt he’d never admit it. That hurt more than he expected it
to. He really was hoping, wasn’t he?

“That’s disappointing,” Zhongli said in a voice so calm it surprised even himself. “I was sure you
would tell me what I needed to hear, but it appears you refuse to. I should have known and never
expected you to. ”

Childe stuttered over his words, eyebrows furrowing and face reddening. “What the fuck?!” he
finally shouted, standing up from his chair as well. “I just confessed to you and you’re responding
like that?! ‘That’s disappointing’?! What’s wrong with you?! All you have to say is you don’t feel
the same way, for fucks sake! I didn’t think you could be so immature!”

It was taking every ounce of self-control in Zhongli’s body to not lose it completely. “Immature?”
his lips twitched into a laugh threatening to erupt. “You call me that when you go on about
feelings instead of admitting why you’ve actually been using me?”

Yes. It was a lie. Another lie. There was no way Childe could possibly feel the same. He just had
to tell himself that.

Childe’s face fell again. “What are you talking about?” he snapped. “I haven’t been using you-”

“Don’t try to dig your way out of this. I would have forgiven you if you were willing to admit what
you’ve been using me for or even if you’d bite back your pride and admit it now.”

Childe stuttered over himself. “You can’t be so fucking stupid that I have to tell you I haven’t been
using you twice, do you?”

The feelings he felt at those words were… strange.

He felt like he should do something. Scream, yell, throw objects, anything at all to show much
much red was blinding the corners of his vision. But he couldn’t do anything. He was frozen in
place, from shock or confusion on how to respond he didn’t know.

Instead of acting, he just starred. Only starred.

“Get out,” he heard himself say after an eternity of stillness.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what the fuck this is all about!” Childe yelled. “Are you that
disgusted by me telling you I caught feelings?! Is that why you're acting so pissy?!” Childe became
silent then slowly began to chuckle. “You really just want me for my body, huh?” he laughed. “Is
that what this is? You can’t stand for me to feel more than you want me to? You want to keep me
as a cocksleeve and nothing else?”

“Get out,” he said louder in a deep growl that rumbled from his chest.

“No! I said what you wanted me to say, so you should too! Tell me! Tell me that I’m just a fling! I
wanna hear it! I don’t care if I am!” Childe looked wild. Desperate. His eyes were wide. He always
liked his eyes. “I’ll keep being one! I don’t mind! I bet you’d like me to just be your bitch, and I’ll
be that! I swear to the Gods I’ll continue being that for you if it’ll keep you here! I really don’t care
if that’s what I am to you! Because that’s who I am, right? Your sex toy! Your whore! I don’t have
any more worth than that, right?! Just a fucking bitch for you to-”

“Don’t act angry with me when you’ve been using my intimacy for information.”
Childe visibly shrank and his eyes blew open.

“I know, Childe. I know what you and the Fatui have been doing.”

“Y-you… how did you-”

“A bitch? That’s hardly insulting enough to describe you. ” Zhongli continued to growl. He could
barely hear the words he was saying. He was just talking. He almost didn’t remember what this
was about to begin with. “What was that tangent about being one for? What makes you think you
have the right to make this about you? Is your mind so occupied with yourself that you forget
others exist?”

Zhongli could see tears glass over Childe’s eyes. Those pretty eyes. He wanted to hate those eyes.

“Don’t you dare cry,” Zhongli laughed. Why was he laughing? “You don’t deserve to cry. Are you
so fucking full of yourself that you cry when you hurt other people as if they’re at fault?”

“Y-you misunderstand-”

“Are you still trying to lie to me?”

A few tears slipped down Childe’s face that was contorted into something Zhongli could only
describe as painful. “Don’t fucking cry. I didn’t expect you to act so pitifully. Though I hardly
imagine you have it in you to own up to your actions.”

“You think I had a choice?! Do you know what would happen if-”

“I’d think so. Didn’t this persuasion method work? ”

Childe went quiet other than the small sobs he couldn’t contain.

“Y-you heard-”

“It did, didn’t it?” Despite how much he was shaking in rage and how much his eyes were
stinging, he felt calm deep down. Strangely calm. A thought of thanks that the walls were thick
crept into his mind unprompted. “You got what you wanted. So why are you still here?”

Childe’s eyes were on the floor. He was shaking too. “I don’t know,” he choked in a small voice.

“There’s a reason. You had no purpose to return today. You got what you wanted a long time ago.
Was it to gloat? To try and get more information out of me? I doubt it’d be difficult based on your
words.”

“I don’t know!” Childe screamed.

“Tell me.” His voice cracked. He really was about to cry too.

“I don’t fucking know!”

“You do know!” Now he was yelling too. He couldn't remember the last time he actually yelled
like that. “Surely there’s nothing else to hide from me! There’s no point in lying about anything
else! You don’t have to lie about having feelings for me to cover your tracks now that I know the
truth anymore! So what’s the fucking reason for you to still come here to do that with me?!”

Childe was quiet other than the sniffles of sobs that he was trying to keep silent.
 “Tell me!” He hated how desperate and weak his voice sounded. He was sure it wasn’t his own.

“I w-wasn’t lying about having feelings-”

“Get out.”

Childe didn’t move.

“GET OUT!”

As if undid by a spell, Childe scrambled out of Zhongli’s sight and out the door so quickly it felt
like he was never there. Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe this was some nightmare Zhongli would wake
up from soon.

If he thought hard enough on it, maybe he could wake up from this dream and everything would be
better. Maybe there was still something he could do to fix this, anything at all.

He felt himself walk to the bathroom and close the door behind him. He felt himself slump down
against the wall. And he felt tears fall down his face.

It didn’t feel like he was crying, but he knew he was. He could feel his breath become hoarse and
his eyes sting. He could hear strangled sounds rip out of his throat.

A part of him knew it didn’t make sense to be this upset. He would live for thousands of more
years. He would meet new people. He could get over it if he wanted. There were so many things he
could do to amend this, surely. He would…

He didn’t know if he wanted to do anything.

He gripped his chest, brought his knees up to his face, and sobbed into them.

It hurt. It hurt so much.

It hurt so much.

Being in a mortal form was strange. These new feelings were strange.

How he knew he was still so deeply in love with Ajax was strange.

Everything was so strange.

He wished he could just understand, even if it was only for a moment.

He wished… he could just understand.

Chapter End Notes

Sorry lol

I know it looks like this is unfixable but I am still promising you a happy and conflict
resolved ending ok bye until next time. *shuffles out the door in a very swag cash
money way*
 No Strings Attached
Chapter Summary

Childe has one rule set for himself regarding work: no strings attached. Not to anyone.
Because nothing good ever happened from getting attached to his target.

Chapter Notes

Get ready, almost all the angst tags are for this chapter specifically.

This chapter is going to be VERY long btw since it’s recapping all the events of the fic
thus far, so clench your buttcheeks and get ready for that. It’s around 17,000 words
long. Forgive me for that, I just didn’t want to rush anything in this chapter and set the
pacing correctly. I know you guys said last time I posted a long chapter you didn’t
mind, so I hope this is okay. Just putting that warning there so you know what you’re
getting into lol.

I referenced the song “Lonely Universe” by, guess who, Angel Olsen for this chapter.
Only, I changed the lyric “mother Earth” to “homeworld” because I was too lazy to
find another song when I remembered that was a lyric and it just fits the scene too
well. Give it a listen, it’s really good.

Also, thank you guys so, so much for all the comments!! I’m doing my best to reply to
everyone but sometimes I miss someone because there are just SO many. Like… so
many. Chapter 8 has over 150 comments now (dang, I really broke y’all’s hearts didn’t
I? Sorry about that.) If I miss you, I promise I’m not ignoring you and it wasn’t
intentional! It’s just a lot to keep up with. Thank you guys again for taking the time to
type out your thoughts, you’re all lovely and I love talking with my readers!

That’s all from me, enjoy this, or don’t since it IS pretty angsty…

See the end of the chapter for more notes

It was an easy enough task to be assigned with, though it sounded tedious.

The Fatui were always so stuck up about details and had the biggest stick in their ass about
exactness. Go to Liyue on this day at this time, find this certain amount of artifacts left from the
Archon War, get direct word from the Geo archon himself to ensure there is no failure on Childe’s
part, for his sake, of course. He doubted not having these artifacts, even if they were of divine
origins, would be too detrimental to Her Majesty.

If that dumbass who tried to do the same thing he was tasked with didn’t get the shit beaten out of
him by Morax when he tried, he wouldn’t have to do this. Childe groaned to himself as he reread
the briefing of his task on the boat to Liyue. Seriously, how could the lower ranks be so fucking
stupid?
Morax was prideful of the lands he spent his entire existence protecting. Childe doubted he would
be quick to give him the information he needed without some persuasion. Childe was always
itching for a fight that couldn’t be scratched without a war that left him hurling blood on the floor,
this was more than true. But even without his gnosis, Morax had thousands of years worth of
combat experience and wasn’t known as the God of War for nothing. Torture for information was
out of the question.

He’d seen the way Morax’s gaze lingered on his ass in the past and how he looked at him with a
look on his face that said a little too much. Childe knew that look all too well. He considered that
method. It worked plenty of times before, after all. Play the role of a desperate slut, have his target
get comfortable and clueless enough to answer any questions without a second thought, get what he
needed, then leave. It would be the most efficient, the quickest, and the easiest for sure. And if he
discovered Morax was uninterested, he would figure something else out and be casual. He doubted
a little flirting that wasn’t taken well would be detrimental to anything. He’d start slow and build
his way up. No problem at all.

The only thing he was worried about was Morax wanting more than what he was willing to give
him. This way was efficient, that was an absolute, but emotions were so troublesome…

What was he worried about? Morax was a God. Surely he was beyond something so mortal and
burdening. Childe sighed and shook his head, barely reading the words on the page.

Liyue wasn’t particularly boring. This assignment sure sounded like it was, but maybe he could
have some fun. See the sights, do some fishing, buy some more souvenirs for his family… Maybe
it wouldn’t be so bad. He’d have to breathe in that thick, humid air again, though. It made
everything hard to think, but he’d manage.

It wasn’t like Morax wasn’t attractive, after all. Yes… this wouldn’t be bad at all if he was smart
about it.

He couldn’t get excited, though. Getting excited never ended well. He’d do the job, collect the
rewards, and leave. Worked enough times before. No strings attached.

No strings attached. That was a rule he set for himself a long time ago regarding those he met on
the job. Too often did he have to kill off friends that ended up being fucking idiots or wouldn’t
give him what he needed for Her Majesty, and too often did he have to cut ties with people who
were just a little too good in bed or felt something they shouldn’t feel.

Life is amazing. He’d get the thrill of sparring Aether whose combat skills were good enough to
beat him every time, not without a hell of a battle beforehand of course, and would taste the food
that honestly wasn’t all that bad. He’d get to see- no. He wasn’t getting excited about that. He told
himself a long time ago he wasn’t ever going to get excited about Morax. There were plenty of
other things to be excited about that didn’t break that rule. He didn’t get excited about spending
time with him last time, and he wouldn’t get excited now. Whatever he felt, he’d keep it locked
away. This wasn’t a bad thing. He’d done it before plenty of times.

No strings attached, and he’d have a ball doing this. This was for Her Majesty, after all. He could
do that much. Easy peasy.

___
“So… you’re a virgin?”

“I have never had my first time, no.”

This was unexpected. Childe tried his best to hide the shock in his face as he studied Morax’s face
for any hint of a lie. There was none.

“Really? But, you’ve lived for so long! Surely you’ve had someone you liked, right?”

“No, never. There was no need. My only purpose was to protect and serve the people of Liyue. I
had no time for mortal pleasures such as a lover.”

That was a little sad to hear. He suddenly felt sorry for him. Poor god was so focused on protecting
shitty mortals he couldn’t do something as common as that. “So… not even a first kiss?”

“No.”

He’d be his first fuck and kiss? Childe didn’t really know what to think of that, so in his confusion,
he choked on a laugh.

“Why is that funny?” Morax’s face fell into a frown and Childe waved him off.

“It’s not… I’m sorry. I just didn’t expect that. I thought you were way more experienced than me.”

He lived for thousands of years and not once had sex? Sure his reason made sense but… not once?
Seriously? How devoted was he to his work? Childe still didn’t know whether to be impressed
Morax kept himself pure for thousands of years or feel pity.

“Then how experienced are you?”

“Shit, how experienced?” Zhongli flinched at the curse word unintentionally and Childe made a
mental note to watch his profanity. “I lost count. Probably kissed like… over fifty… no… more
than that counting boys and girls. And I fu- ahm… had sex with over thirty people, I think that’s
boys and girls combined. Like I said, lost count. This is just a guess.”

Half of those were people he needed information from. The other half… huh. Did he remember
anyone’s name, now that he was thinking about it?

“H-how?!” Morax sounded fascinated and it made Childe feel sheepish.

“You know… travel a lot on the job, don’t be scared to start a conversation… why am I talking
about this again?”

Silence fell between the two of them for an uncomfortable amount of time. Morax looked like he
was thinking a little too hard about something.

“Okay,” Morax said after an eternity of silence far too casually. “I accept your invitation.”

Really?

That easy? When he didn’t once for…

“W-what?”

“You’re obviously experienced,” Morax stated in his usual cold and emotionless tone, “and with
this mortal form comes mortal desires. If my suspicions of these strange feelings being sexual are
correct, then you are obviously the fittest to help me navigate them as you know a great deal of
such things.”

“Wait a minute,” Childe countered quickly, holding his hands up. “You can’t just hand your first
time off like that, you know! And just because I’m experienced? Is that all? And what do you
mean by desires?!”

How hadn’t he done this before if he was this easy? Childe stifled another confused laugh. The
absurdity of this whole situation was just too much.

“Well, you’re obviously the best choice. I know you well and you’ve expressed you’re interested
in such… activities with me. This decision is taking into consideration the skill you must have
acquired over the years as well. By desires… How do I explain it? I have felt… strange sometimes.
Strange in a way I’ve never felt. My form feels hot to the touch and I long to feel something next to
me and… around… uh…”

Morax covered his face in his hands in shame.

“Fucking hell,” Childe grumbled as he took another shot. He wished he had a little less shame so
he could chug the bottle like he usually did to get drunk faster. He hardly thought he’d have it in
him to take Morax’s first time if he wasn’t at least a little shitfaced.

Why was Morax so casual about this? It wasn’t like he wasn’t gasping at the mere thought of sex
earlier, and now he was just agreeing? Why?

“I suppose you are a male mortal form as well, so it’s not strange to tell you such things as you
have the same struggles as I do. Sometimes, my penis-”

“Don’t,” Childe snapped. Fuck, maybe he was just stupid. That was exactly it, wasn’t it? “Don’t
say anything else and don’t say that word again, ever.”

“The word penis? Why? It’s a natural part of the male mortal anatomy-”

“It’s a gross word! Say dick or even cock for fu- for Archon’s sake!”

“How can you say those words! To say such things but call the word pe-”

“Zhongli, I beg of you. Please don’t say it again.”

“My apologies. I didn’t think such a word would bother you so much.”

Childe grumbled and shuffled his feet on the floor. The atmosphere was hard to read. Was there
tension, awkwardness, or a weird combination of both?

Morax really was easy about giving him his first time. This was weird.

“This is a weird question, but… don’t you… masturbate?” Having the balls to ask that question
was how Childe knew he was drunk enough to not think about his next actions too much. He
wasn’t too far gone, just enough. He pushed the bottle aside to drive away from the temptation.

“What’s that?”

The idiot. Archons above, this man- God… He should remember who that was. That was a god.
Morax was a god.

This god was so fucking stupid.

Was Childe… special in some way? Surely with as attractive as he is people haven’t offered him
sex in the past. What made him the one for Morax to-

That was definitely the drink thinking. He should just get on with it.

“You know what? Let’s do it. What the hell? I’ll take the liberty of teaching you a thing or two. I
brought you all the way here with that in mind, anyway.”

“Alright.”

They both continued to sit at the table in silence for too long.

“So… how do… we start?”

So fucking stupid. It was oddly cute. Childe grumbled the thought away and stood up to beckon
Morax to come with him with a quick jerk of his head towards the bedroom. “Follow me.”

He’d have fun. It was alright. It wasn’t like Morax wouldn’t have his first time at some point,
anyway. So… it was fine that this was happening.

The drink was making up excuses now. He just wanted to get this done.

___

“How long do you plan on staying in Liyue?”

“I don’t know,” Childe mumbled. No matter how much he focused on picking up the clumps of
rice with his chopsticks, they just broke apart and fell down again. He wondered if using these
fucking things was a natural-born talent he just wasn’t blessed with. “I just have to get this thing
done and I’ll be sent back. Hopefully it’ll take a while.” Childe paused then sighed. “It’s not like I
won’t visit, though! No need to worry about how long I’ll be here. I think you’ll miss me too much
for me to leave for good.”

“I would only have to come to Snezhnaya in that case.”

Childe laughed loudly. He could hardly imagine Morax, the man who dressed like it was freezing
outside to stroll through summers that melted even dirt, lasting a day at home. “The name
Snezhnaya actually means ‘snowy’,” Childe smiled. “I don’t think you’d like it very much
compared to how hot it is here.”

“Did you struggle with the transition?”

Childe stabbed the fish again, surrendering to his struggle and eating it like a skewer. Childe
watched as Morax scrunched his face at the sight. “Not as much as I’m struggling with these
chopsticks,” he half-joked.

“You’re not holding them correctly and that is why you’re having a hard time.”

Morax took his hands in his own and Childe felt his face light on fire. His touch was gentle like he
was afraid Childe would snap in half if he was too rough. He gracefully positioned his fingers in
place while he talked, his smooth voice trailing across the table and kissing his skin. The light
through the windows the sun shone on them was making everything feel so warm.
Even with gloves on, his touch was hot, like the sun. Morax, at that moment, was exactly that. A
burning sun, swollen red and luminous from many millennials of living, so bright he was blinding
and so fiery it made Childe’s ears ignite. And yet, he was so gentle.

Since when did Childe get so poetic with his thoughts?

“Put your ring and pinkie finger underneath the bottom one, and your middle underneath the top
one while your index rests above it.”

The sun was molding his hands in place and Childe could do nothing but watch. It was suddenly
very hard to breathe. It really was so humid in Liyue.

“There you are.”

That small phrase of praise made Childe melt and he didn’t know why. Maybe the sun was brighter
and more powerful than he anticipated.

“Now, rest your thumb on the side of the upper chopstick and move your index and middle fingers
to control them.”

Childe stared at his hands and the chopsticks he was holding when Zhongli let go. He almost
reached out again, but he had more self-control than that. He carefully picked up a piece of fish,
held it tightly, and lifted it up. He felt pride swell in his gut and a smile beam across his face.

“Aha!” Childe cheered, lifting the fish a little higher in a declaration of victory. Almost instantly,
the fish slipped and his face fell back down. Morax suddenly started laughing, a loud and ringing
laugh that was just as warm as sunlight. He really was the sun. Childe started to laugh too at his
failure and the shock of hearing such a composed and stoic man laugh so genuinely, banging his
fists on the table lightly and wheezing so much he was barely making a sound anymore.

For a moment, it felt like all was well and they were on a date. He pushed that thought away. Task
at hand. Back to the task at hand. No strings attached. He should stop thinking of those stupid
metaphors, too.

___

“Oh! Zhongli, I actually have something with me for you. I was going to give it to you later today,
but now is a great time as well.”

“Is it another book?”

Childe felt like he was watching something straight out of a shitty romantic comedy play. Morax’s
bluntness was so dense it made Childe bite back a laugh. He’d never seen anyone flirt with anyone
so bluntly. He was getting sick of standing out in the sun and inhaling straight water at this point.
How the hell did the people of Liyue deal with the humidity?!

“No, actually. I wanted to thank you for listening to my recommendations, and I heard from Hu
Tao that you liked tea, so…” Xingqiu took out an obnoxiously decorated box and Childe fought
back a snort. “It’s a blend I made. I wrote down instructions for how to brew it.”

Morax was opening the box and smelling the tea leaves now. His expression became soft and he
gave the other a smile. “Thank you, Xingqiu. What a thoughtful gift. I shall brew a cup tonight.”

“Wonderful!” Childe and Xingqiu made eye contact for a moment and he screamed a little
internally. “You’re teaching Tartaglia about the archon war?”

“Just passing through,” Childe managed. “We were actually just leaving-”

“Nonsense,” Morax countered quickly. “I was planning to stop here anyways for a while.”

Xingqiu looked at the two of them. “So,” he began slowly, “um… are you his instructor of sorts, to
go along with your business relationship?”

“I suppose I am now,” Morax stated plainly.

Childe was going to ask Xingqiu what got him so interested in their relationship but closed his
mouth when Morax spoke before he did.

“And you two are, pardon my bluntness… simply friends, specifically?”

Fucking Gods above, he couldn’t be any more obvious about his crush, could he? Morax looked
completely unfazed, the absolute idiot.

Childe looked at the two of them conversing casually and felt something strike his gut. It looked
like a quiet kind friendship, Morax giving the younger man advice and entertaining conversation
while the other looked at him so bright-eyed. He… nearly envied how casual and simple their
relationship was. It was innocent, so innocent.

Childe opened his mouth again to suggest leaving now so he wouldn’t have to deal with this shit.
“Indeed we are,” Morax said before he could speak.

“Splendid! I-I mean, splendid to see both of you!” There was no way Morax didn’t know he was
crushing. “Zhongli… I haven’t forgotten your promise to share a dinner with me yet, and I have
more titles to recommend you whenever you are free. When shall we discuss plans? I do not know
when I’ll run into you again, pardon my directness.”

And now he was asking him out. He had confidence, Childe would give him that. But Morax
wasn’t that easy-

“I am free on Saturday evenings.”

Childe closed his eyes and took a deep breath in. Not that easy his ass. Like he wasn’t offering his
virginity so casually only weeks ago. Fucking idiot.

“I do not find ill in discussing plans, do not stress. Would six in the evening work for your
schedule? I am interested in hearing of the book titles you recommend.”

“So, next week Saturday that time?”

“Certainly.”

“Dense ass motherfucker,” Childe cursed under his breath.

“Wonderful! I’ll see you then.”

“And I w-”
“He’ll see you then,” Childe interrupted without thinking. “We were just leaving like I said before.
We’re in a bit of a rush, pardon my rudeness, if we stay here all day talking we’ll be late. Come on,
Zhongli, you were just about to tell me about the jade archon, remember?”

Childe pulled Morax by the arm roughly and led him away, flashing a glare at Xingqiu before they
were out of sight.

Casual and quiet. He’d like that with Morax-

What was he thinking? Why was he thinking that? He had a job. He told himself no strings
attached. He was… just wanting to get back to the task at hand is all. The kid was distracting them,
and he can’t afford a second of wasting time.

It felt like he was envious, though. Maybe he was a little, but even he wanted things he could never
have. A casual and quiet friendship. He wondered what it would be like to discuss plans for dinner
with Morax without any ulterior motive, just going because they both wanted to and enjoyed each
other's company.

He wanted to know more about what friends he had. He wanted to know more about him. He
wanted to be the one asking him to dinner. He wanted to be the one that took up his schedule. He
wanted-

“Why were you in such a rush to leave, Childe?”

Childe scrambled for a coherent thought at the sound of Morax’s voice. He turned his head to see
Morax reclaimed his arm and they were just standing. He didn’t notice how far he dragged him.
“I…” He was having really weird thoughts earlier. He was better than to falter like that. “He just
irritates me.”

“Ah, I understand. Sometimes two people simply do not get along. I shall indeed make note of this
as I do not want ill to either of you.”

Childe thought about commenting on how stupid Morax was, but decided against it. “Sure,” Childe
grumbled. He had a job. Back to the job. “So… jade archon.”

___

“T-this is the only c-cocksleeve- ahh, you need, right? Just me? I-I’m good enough for you, right?”

He wasn’t thinking of the words he was saying. He moaned freely as Zhong- Morax continued to
pound inside of him and groan in his ear.

“Perfect for me. My perfect fucking slut.”

Those words sent Childe dangerously close to the edge. “I’m gonna cum. I-it’s so good, I’m
gonna- gonna…”

“Me too. I’m g-gonna c-cum.”

“Inside me,” Childe couldn’t help but beg. He wanted more of him, to feel him completely, for
there to just be him. To feel him as closely as possible. “Please, Zhongli, deep inside of me.”

It took the feeling of Morax filling him to the brim with thick and hot cum and the sound of his
long and low groan of ecstasy to send him toppling over the edge. There was so much filling him
all the way to his stomach, so much it was impossible and making his body morph into jelly and
his all-consuming orgasm rage for an eternity. He gripped Morax’s head for support as his body
was wracked with the overwhelming sensation of closeness and pulled him into a kiss, shoving his
tongue inside his mouth to feel him even more.

“So good,” Childe sighed in between kisses. “I’m so full…” Even so loose around Morax’s
softening cock, he could still feel how big and girthy it was, how well it fit inside him, how good
even just warming it up felt. He felt so hot when he was stuffed with it and his cum, so hot it was
addicting.

“Ajax… you…” Morax pressed their lips together again like he couldn’t find the words and Childe
melted.

“Say my name again.”

“Ajax.”

Fuck, when he used his real name, it made him feel like the world was-

What the hell did he say while they were fucking?

Horror dwelled in his gut when his high faded and clarity hit him too mercilessly. Their kiss parted
for a moment and Childe didn’t know what he should say.

Fuck, why did he say that? Why did he say that?

“We should clean up.”

With that, Morax nodded to show he understood, leaned back, and pulled out. Morax was about to
walk to the bathroom before he turned around and locked eyes on the cum he could feel dripping
out of his hole. Then they made eye contact and Childe wanted to shrink even more. He knew he
looked like a bred bitch, leaking all over the sheets and sporting the small swelling of his stomach
showing how much he was filled, but the fact that he said that was keeping him from thinking
about it too much.

“What?”

“Sorry. You just look beautiful.”

Why was he saying that? Childe hardly needed flattery. It wasn’t like Morax wanted anything else
from him. Beautiful? What a weird word to call him.

“Shut up.” He meant that to sound teasing, but it came out as a grumble.

With that, Morax left the room and Childe was alone. He took a moment to collect himself before
he sat up on the edge of the bed, burying his face in his hands and grumbling, ignoring the pain.
Fucking hell, he’d be sore for weeks. It was using all his effort to move at all.

Why did he say that? What was wrong with him?

He wasn’t catching feelings or anything, was he?

He needed to get out of here. No time to waste. He still… He still had the locations in the pocket of
his pants. He moved to stand up on wobbly legs, muttering curses as he struggled to do even that
and barely made it to the bathroom.

“You should lay down. That can’t be comfortable.”

Morax was standing by the sink with a damp washcloth and Childe couldn’t look at him. He
couldn’t. Morax must think he’s an idiot.

Fuck, why did he say that?

“I should hurry,” Childe mumbled as he ignored the pain of moving too quickly after getting
fucked that hard. He should teach Morax how to pace himself next time, but he could handle it. He
endured worse. “You probably want me out of your hair soon.”

“What do you mean?”

“I… said some weird things when we… yeah.” Childe kept his gaze on the floor to avoid Morax’s
stare. He could feel those hot amber eyes on his skin and it made him shiver.

“What was weird, exactly? I don’t follow. Did I do something wrong, Ajax?”

Childe paused before speaking. “You did nothing wrong,” he whispered far too weakly. “You were
great. I just… you know.” I just can’t say stuff like that.

“I don’t.”

Childe walked to Morax, took the washcloth from him, and started wiping his face. He didn’t think
anything of what he said, did he? Why did he even mention it? He was just making everything
worse. “I should’ve remembered that you were dense as all hell. Sorry. I shouldn't have said
anything.”

“What did you say that was weird?”

Childe sighed and shook his head again and started wiping the mess on his ass far too hastily. He
knew he should be taking more time to care for himself, but he didn’t care that much right now.
“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Ajax… shouldn’t we talk about this?”

“Don’t-” Childe stopped himself before he spoke.

Don’t call me by my first name. Why did he tell him his first name again?

He should stop. He was acting too weird. He can pull himself together. He’d done it before. “I…
I’ll see you again soon. This was fun, but don’t get too impatient on me,” he hummed with a wink.
“You wouldn’t mind showing me that domain you were talking about next time, yeah?”

“I would love to teach you more about the archon war,” Morax nodded. “I thought that you were
stay-”

“I’d love to stay, but that will just have to be next time,” Childe hummed with a forced smile. “I
have so much work to do, you know? Took a little toll on me spending the whole day together. I’ll
have to be smarter with my schedule next time.” He felt Morax follow him as he hastily put his
clothes back on. He knew he was being too quick but he needed to leave. He’d say too much and
make everything worse if he stayed. “I really had fun, really. I always enjoy our little sessions.
Sorry for messing up your sheets and leaving like this, I’ll make it up to you in the usual favor next
time.”

“You really should at least take a bath or sleep-”

“I said I can’t,” Childe snapped, and Morax shut up.

Childe knew he looked rough as he hastily finished getting dressed. He’d hardly call it dressed
considering how Morax was looking at him.

Why did he say that? Was it the envy of Zhongli’s other friendships? The want of having more?
Insecurity? If he could just find out why…

It was envy, wasn’t it? He couldn’t be. He shouldn’t be. The faster he got out of here and proved to
himself this was just a job, the better.

“You’re a mess and you’re not even cleaned up yet. It would be better if you stayed over and
rested.”

“It’s fine,” Childe assured quickly. “I’m fine, this is fine.” He really should stop rambling, but he
couldn’t. “I have to go now. Thank you, this was fun. Lots of fun. You’ll show me that domain?”

“As I said, I certainly will-”

“Wonderful. Bye, Xiansheng,” Childe managed to smile. He rushed out and ignored Morax’s
concerned expression.

He needed to prove that this was a job. What he said was nothing. It meant nothing. No strings
attached. No strings attached. No strings attached. No strings attached…

___

Childe fumbled with his keys to unlock his office door and stumbled in. Without bothering to close
the door behind him, he went straight to his desk and started fumbling through the mess to find a
blank piece of paper and a pen.

He forgot to write down the locations so he was going completely off of memory. He was an idiot
too.

The crickets outside were chirping and the night was humid, a kind of humid that made it hard to
inhale even the smallest bit of air. He felt sleepy and fuzzy from it as he jotted down the location of
the iron god’s domain he remembered from Morax’s earlier lecture as well as every other place
and detail he mentioned he could think of. His ears were still ringing from the blood rush to his
head and his ass was killing him.

The sooner he could do this the sooner he could go home and shower and the sooner he could
prove to himself that he’s here for a reason. This is his job. He can’t feel any emotion now. It was
far too late for that.

He remembered to lock the office door behind him as he folded the paper up and put it in his
pocket. It was now that he realized his pants were backward. He shook away the concern of
looking like a mad drunkard as he limped through the ache in his ass and the uncomfortable feeling
of slickness that he didn’t fully wipe away. He knew he looked like a mess, but it was fine. This
was fine.

Childe went down the stairs as well as he could and went to the bank’s counter. He slid the paper
as quickly as he could without thinking about it through the opening and it was taken by whoever
was unfortunate enough to have the nightshift. He could feel the fucker’s eyes on him since he
barged in.

“What?!” he snapped loudly. Instantly, their eyes glued back down to the floor.

“N-nothing, Sir,” they weakly stuttered. Childe tsked under his breath and turned to walk out. He
knew he looked like a mess, and he couldn’t give less shits.

No strings attached. That rule was now solidified. And yet, as he declared to himself victoriously
that the job was progressing smoothly, the thick heat of the humid night outside the bank provided
his straining lungs gasping for air no relief.

He’d feel better after a drink, he decided as he wiped the sweat building on his temple and tasted
the tang of metal from biting the inside of his cheek too harshly. Definitely after a drink.

Or… would that be good for…

___

“I’ve actually decided to stay clean for a while,” Childe shrugged as they continued to walk down
the trails of Liyue. He fanned his shirt again a little, holding back the urge to wipe the sweat on his
forehead for the sake of embarrassment. He was struggling to breathe in that hot and humid air
more than ever before. Maybe he was just parched for alcohol from being several days clean as if
the shakes in his hands weren’t enough to deal with.

“Oh? You are straying away from alcohol?” Morax went quiet for a moment. It really wasn’t fair
how his forehead was barely glistening when he had all those dark layers on. “Childe… you’re
not…”

It took a moment to catch his drift. “An alcoholic? No.” Childe forced a laugh and shook his head.
“I just think I should make healthier choices.”

“I’m glad to hear that. What brought about this change?”

He couldn’t just start saying he wanted to be healthier for Morax, could he? The fear of revealing
too much while shitfaced wasn’t a good reason. Childe looked to the side and forced another
laugh. “Well,” he began as he pulled an excuse right from his ass, “last time we uh… spent the
night together, I noticed you made some faces when you… sucked me off.”

Morax tilted his head in confusion.

“I think my nut tastes bad because of how much alcohol I drink.” There was some truth in that
statement.
Morax was quiet but then laughed softly. Childe felt his shoulders relax as the tension eased. “I
wasn’t expecting that answer,” Morax chuckled, “Though, I am not complaining about any
motivation you may have for making a healthier lifestyle for yourself.”

“Thanks for your support, Zhongli.”

“Certainly. Oh, here it is.”

Morax pointed to a worn-down and small building that resembled that of a temple in the distance.
It was small and hardly noticeable, blending into the cliff it was sitting against. “That is where the
God of Iron spent his leisures, as well as his resting place.”

Childe studied the building. It wasn’t at all like he expected. He would have to report that. Maybe
there wasn’t as much in there as he initially thought there would. “It’s… small.”

“You haven’t been inside yet.”

“True. Can you tell me about him?”

“He was powerful but reckless,” Morax recalled as they walked towards the entrance. “He highly
valued the art of forgery, as to be expected. Many forging practices used in modern Liyue come
from he and his people’s teachings.”

“His people?” Childe watched as Morax put his gloved hand on the cool stone door.

“They were a people of miners and blacksmiths. The god of iron blessed them with ore and tools so
they could build great defense and a variety of weapons during the war. But, as I have said before,
he was reckless.”

“What happened to him?”

“Recklessness leads to foolishness, foolishness leads to mistakes, and mistakes lead to failure. He
was so confident in his weaponry, strength, and power that he disregarded the idea of someone
being stronger. His sense of false security was his downfall. It is all too easy for confidence to
blind someone of all the ill coming their way and keep them from predicting when their plan may
crumble apart. That was his weakness.”

“So, he was so sure that nothing bad could ever happen to him that he was unprepared for when it
did?”

“Precisely. He often took advantage of and stole precious things from other gods and used what
they lent against them out of selfishness. He did not think of what could happen when he was
discovered nor worried about the consequences as in his mind he could kill any god he pleased. He
was slaughtered purely out of vengeance from another,” Morax continued as he opened the door.
“While I was not the one to strike him down, the god who did… uh…”

The domain… was empty.

Completely empty.

Maybe everything was hidden from sight. Yes, that would make sense. Childe looked up to Morax
to urge him to continue, but found his face slightly twisted in confusion. Childe felt dread begin to
swell in his gut.

“Zhongli? Is everything alright?”

Morax wordlessly stepped inside, looking around at the barren walls and floors. The dread pooling
was beginning to swirl into something that made Childe bite the inside of his cheek.

“Huh,” was all Morax said.

“Uh… Zhongli? What’s wrong?”

Childe followed Morax inside, whipping his head around to look for something, anything. It didn’t
feel right. Something just didn’t feel right. “I must be mistaken,” Morax mumbled, eyebrows
furrowed. “Perhaps my memory fooled me and we are in the incorrect place. My apologies.”

“Apologies? What do you mean? This isn’t it?”

Morax was quiet for a moment. “There should be… a lot of items here.”

The Fatui got here already.

That was the only plausible explanation.

He didn’t even give orders and they got here already. There was no way anyone could break that
seal without knowing how. He should’ve felt victorious, satisfied in a job well done, anything other
than what he was feeling.

He didn’t know if the rage inside of him was from those under his rule acting without orders or
watching Morax react to something being taken away from him. These feeling were… confusing.
He’d never felt anything before when getting information and now he was struggling to keep his
expression calm.

He clenched his fists tightly. He found himself wishing to find the fucker who did this and snap
their neck in half. And he felt this way because… It must have been because they didn’t follow
orders. It must be.

“Childe?”

Childe silently took a moment to collect himself before speaking. “This… is supposed to have a lot
of… items in it, you say?”

“Yes, that is what I said.”

He was beginning to doubt this anger was what he thought it was and it scared him. It scared him
because he wasn’t supposed to feel anything.

What did this mean?

“Huh,” Childe managed after an eternity of silence. “That’s… interesting.”

___

“I trust you.”

Childe felt Morax lightly press down on his throat so gently he barely felt it and like he was scared
he’d break Childe in half even though he was begging for it, and started to thrust in slow but so
wonderfully deep. A whine ripped out of Childe’s chest before he could stop it and his eyes
fluttered closed when Morax hit his sweet spot without even trying.

“Y-yeah, that’s good,” he barely managed to gasp. “Harder. P-please, harder.”

Childe’s eyes rolled to the back of his head when his entire body felt like it was floating and lighter
than air as Mor… Zhongli finally pressed down enough and pounded into him deeper. So, so deep.
It made him feel so full, so satisfied, and yet like he needed even more.

He was fucking into him so well that Childe had to rest a hand on the headboard of the bed to keep
his head from knocking into it. Zhongli was stroking his cock with his other hand and it made stars
dance behind his lids.

“More!” Ajax moaned uncontrollably. “F-fuck, ahhh, s-so good! M-more, more, Zhongli…”

Zhongli’s loud groan at his begs went straight to Childe’s aching cock and exploded in waves of
pleasure as Zhongli’s hand gripped him tighter.

He felt so good, so good. Better than he imagined he would. Zhongli was still sloppy, unskilled,
and his thrusts reflected the control he was still lacking in, but Childe’s body was melting and
pooling to be molded in his hands in a way that never happened before.

Childe looked at Zhongli through his lashes and felt the last bit of his mind drain away. The sweat
on his bare chest was glistening in the soft glow of the bedside lamp still lit, just as warm as the
golden markings that ran down his body and the piercing glow of his eyes. Every glance made
Childe feel like he was being consumed and he welcomed it with all his heart.

No fireworks or song of praise was louder than the absolute explosions filling his mind at every hot
and electrifying touch that sent his mind further away from all that appeared to be tangible. He felt
hot, sloppy, pliable, and amazing. The small part of his mind that was telling him to stay conscious
and present was growing quieter as his entire being submitted to him. He didn’t protest as he did.
There was nothing to fight against with Zhongli. He’d hand him his life with no hesitation.

“So good!” Childe whimpered. “So fucking good!”

Every thrust was like music, music that was carried by Zhongli’s beautiful groans, a pure melody
that rumbled in thunder over every nerve and lit it on fire. He hardly had the energy to pay
attention to Zhongli’s skill or his past experiences as the thought of sharing this intimacy with him
was all he could think about. He couldn’t hear his own moans anymore. There was just this feeling
and the angelic sight of Zhongli’s usually stoic and composed face dripping in ecstasy. He really
had a face like honey. Childe could taste the stickiness of it on his tongue and feel it slide over his
body overridden with want like he had never experienced.

Zhongli was the sun, and Zhongli was also an embodiment of a humid, hot night in Liyue as the
bliss of tipsiness and being half asleep flooded into his soul while he stumbled down the warm and
dark streets illuminated only by flickering street lamps. The hot air of his presence kissed his skin
and made him sweat so much his clothes stuck, enough to consume his mind of nothing but the
sensation but distant enough to leave him wanting to taste the sweet air more as he caved into bliss
further and slowly forgot where he was going in the first place.

He’d never felt like this before. Not once. He’d never submitted this fully to someone else. Never
before. There was nothing left in him to fight, no pride, no agony, just this. Just him. He was all
there was. He had no energy to think about how weird he was acting or how strange this feeling
was. It wasn’t just sex. He felt like it couldn’t be just sex anymore.
This was more than sex, but he wasn’t afraid of that. He welcomed everything Zhongli so
graciously and kindly gifted him.

“G-gonna cum, p-please, can I cum? Can I cum?”

He felt like he needed his touch so badly he’d die without it.

___

It felt like he would, at least. He was a few hours away from feeling it again and the humid air was
thicker than it ever had been before from impatience and the lingering it left on his skin from last
time even though it had been so long. It lingered even as he walked up to his apartment, taking the
letter in his dropbox and setting it aside on the table as he closed and locked the door behind him.
Zhongli lingered around him with every breath and every time the sun stung his eyes so mercilessly
it made him turn away so he wouldn’t go blind.

For Ajax, read the back.

Who sent this? Zhongli? Who was calling him by-

Oh. He’s an idiot. Childe laughed a little to himself once he recognized his mom’s handwriting.

How good was the Fauti for his family, speaking of? And how good was it for Zhongli?

He carefully opened the letter in fear of ruining the stationary he bought her. His mother was
always so careful in everything she did, never wasting a drop of effort. He could see that effort in
how she folded the card inside perfectly and her neat handwriting transparent from the backside of
the letter.

What if he did leave the Fatui? What would be the worst that could happen? There were plenty of
other things he could do to better his strength and serve his family, right?

Or was he only thinking this because he was starting to care for Morax?

If he left, it wouldn’t be a job anymore, would it? And that rule wouldn’t matter anymore.

He could play with his younger siblings again, spend time with the older ones, help his Mom
around the house, help his Dad with work… There were more ways to serve surely, right?

Childe began to read the letter.

My Ajax,

I hope you are well, I apologize for not writing to you sooner. I have been quite busy if you can
imagine that with all the kids I have to keep an eye on.
Childe chuckled to himself. He certainly could imagine that.

This is actually a letter of thanks. I am clarifying that now as to not worry you with what I am
about to say. I wish you could have learned sooner, but Teucer had fallen very ill for reasons
unknown. He was bedridden for weeks and had hardly the strength to eat.

The Fatui sent a doctor free of charge after we tried every other one within range when they
learned their harbinger’s younger brother was ill. Within a day only, he was bouncing and playing
again. I still have a headache from how much he talked about his adventures with the toy you gave
him as if a couple of weeks not having the strength to talk has built in enough monologues to
impress a playwright. He is actually talking about you to Tonia as I write this.

You have done nothing but good for us, and I feel as if I do not express my thanks enough. You are
my pride and joy. I do not say such things with only the love of a mother, but also with
thankfulness. You support us and give us more than just comfort. I love you more than you could
ever know-

Childe set the letter aside, dragged his feet to the nearest chair, and rested his head in his hands.
He’d read the rest later. He just couldn’t now.

He assumed Teucer was okay now, but his head was still swimming in worry. What if he gets sick
again? What if he couldn’t get back home in time to save him? What if the Fatui didn’t send-

What was he thinking? Leave the Fatui? Did he forget the very reason he joined? Were Morax’s
feelings more important than his family’s well-being to him for a second?

No strings attached. Had he forgotten that rule? Had he not survived things much worse than the
sunlight and the humid air? He could get past it. He wasn’t going to doubt his abilities. He could
do it.

He did this before. It was fine. This was all fine. He could do it. This was no different from all the
other times. It was okay, he was okay. All of this was okay.

Without thinking, Childe sat up to walk to the liquor cabinet but stopped himself. Didn’t he decide
he would stop?

For Morax? For himself? He couldn’t remember.

___

He had Zhongli- Morax’s apartment number memorized.

Morax was a higher and superior being who wanted his worthless body and Childe was some slut
who gave it to him to get what he wanted. He’d done plenty of things in the past worse than this.
This was fine. They both got something out of it, so he wasn’t really using him.

The stairs to his floor felt long.

It’s not like Morax could have an emotional attachment to him, after all. Morax was a god. Morax
had lived thousands of years and had experiences Childe couldn’t begin to comprehend. Morax
might be pestered at the most. He couldn’t possibly care for him in the slightest let alone be fazed.
There was no way anyone could. All the people he did this to in the past never said much anyway
and didn’t mind since they got something out of it, too.

Maybe he was lying about not having lovers in the past. Surely that was the case. Yes. It was. He
was just another body. He’d always just been that.

His only use was to give himself to other people. Sell himself out for sex or unspeakable violence
to get what he wanted. He was a weapon and a toy. And he loved being both of those. And they
loved using him as such. Both parties got what they wanted out of this. Both parties got what they
wanted out of this.

No strings attached.

Childe grabbed the doorknob to Zhon- Morax’s apartment. Childe sighed a long breath through his
nose.

He’d fuck him, break the ice, and leave. That was the plan. Morax didn’t care for him. It was
impossible for him to care for him. There was no way he cared for him. He just had to tell himself
that. There was no one he could trust and no one that would give their heart to him outside of his
family. There was no one. And he’d keep his composure. He was amazing at that.

Childe burst through the door and was met with a wave of smells. Cinamon. Black tea. Lemon.
Cloves. It smelled wonderful.

“Hey, Zhongli,” he said as he closed the door behind him. He was met with those same stoic eyes
nodding his direction before turning back around. He was making something. Maybe dinner for
himself? It was pretty late for that. “What are you making? Smells good.”

“I apologize if this isn’t the same as home,” Morax hummed in that deep tone that poured over his
ears like brown sugar and honey-coated molasses on a fermenting and rotting pile of shit. “This is
my first time making this.”

Childe stared at his back as he continued to work. His apartment was just as consuming in heat and
humidity as the outside but almost smelled like how it did in the cruelest winters of home. His
mom would brew some tea and call him and his siblings down and give them hot and fresh cups to
keep them warm. He could almost feel the warm quilts around his shoulders and he hugged
everyone close to keep them safe and cozy while his little brother told stories about his adventures
with Mr. Cyclops and all the other characters his imaginative and precious mind dreamed up.

The smell of a sliced orange flooded his senses. It was like the holidays when he was able to share
such luxuries with his family. He’d cut up enough pieces for everyone and give himself the
smallest one. He and his brothers would pretend it was summer and go swimming in the freezing
ponds before running back inside a shivering and teeth-chattering mess while his sisters lectured
them on their recklessness.

It was overwhelming. Intoxicating. More than he could handle. Too much was flooding his senses
too fast. It was beautiful and it was horrible. The soft glow of light was reflecting in Morax’s hair.
He had such soft hair. Childe almost closed his eyes, covered his ears, and slammed his head down
to break his nose so he could block out how much beauty was flooding his senses.

The counter felt smooth. Everything was wonderful. So wonderful he almost wished he could be in
that moment forever.

“I have read of some Snezhnayan food and beverages and thought you may miss the taste of
home.”

Why was he talking about his homeland? Why was he saying...

“So, I am making some tea.”

Childe wanted to ask him what he meant, but he knew.

That… hurt him and comforted him more than he could bear.

He didn’t remember seeing those ingredients in the market. Where did he get them? How much
trouble was it? Why was he doing this?

Something in Childe's gut said he wanted nothing in return, but he didn’t want to believe it. Maybe
this was a mistake. Maybe he really was just making something quick to eat for himself.

“Again, I don’t quite trust the source I got this recipe from to be completely authentic, but
nonetheless, I am attempting to make it as I am also curious to see what it tastes like.”

What… a thoughtful and affectionate thing to do. He wanted nothing in return. Fuck, that made his
heart swell.

Zhongli turned around, holding two cups of steaming and freshly brewed tea. He had a soft smile
on his face and was glowing the same way he always did. Childe could see nothing but kindness in
that face and he hated it. He hated it.

He couldn’t look at him anymore. He couldn’t. He turned his gaze down on the counter and felt his
eyes sting as the weight in his gut settled even more. He started to understand and he hated it.

He loved this man. He always did. He knew it the entire time he knew him and only now lost the
strength to suppress it. He loved this man more than he could bear. Finally admitting it to himself
was so painful.

He loved that soft smile and he loved how warm his arms felt around him. He loved the smell of
tea in his apartment. He loved the way those gemstone eyes would sparkle and look so far away
when he talked about his home’s history. He loved how he thought of him. He loved that he took
the time to make this for him and hadn’t even the slightest hint in his face of wanting something
out of it. He loved his rambles. He loved his little kisses. He loved his little touches. He loved him.
He loved him so fucking much it hurt. It hurt so much .

He couldn’t look up. He wouldn’t look up. Zhongli may see how much his eyes were stinging if he
did. He’d be overwhelmed with the pure kindness he wanted to worship and praise with every fiber
of his soul if he did. He might actually lose it if he did.

He didn’t deserve to feel this much pain and love at once. He didn’t deserve any of this. He didn’t
deserve to feel this weight in his gut.

He didn’t feel sorry. He’d have to have the heart to feel sorry. He’d have to be soft to regret every
choice he ever made. He wasn’t soft. He couldn’t be soft.

It wasn’t possible for there to be no strings attached. It just couldn’t happen. He didn’t feel sorry.
He couldn’t feel sorry.

So why… Why was he…

“Ajax, are you alright?”

___

“I… I c-can’t… I’m just… I’m a coward. Y-you don’t understand. I’m a coward who can’t be
away from you. It h-hurts when I… Y-you… I don’t deserve you. You’re… you’re just so...”

Zhongli was quiet for a moment and Childe feared he said too much. He didn’t know if the weight
in his chest was relieved by sharing this burden or if he felt guiltier. These emotions were swirling
into an indistinguishable fog that he didn’t have the energy to recognize anymore.

Zhongli was still smelling his hair. Childe closed his eyes and felt a short-lived wave of relaxation
wash over him only to be broken as the tears wouldn’t stop.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Zhongli whispered against his hair. His voice… His voice had no right to
be that beautiful. “There’s nothing wrong with being scared.”

“I shouldn’t be.”

“You’re allowed to.”

He wasn’t. He couldn’t be. Even this, opening up like this, was one of the worst things he could be
doing. Did he not care for his family anymore? What was wrong with him?

He didn’t want to hurt Zhongli. He loved him so much. So much.

“I…” Childe stuttered over his words. Zhongli was beautiful. So beautiful. He couldn’t stand this.
“But if you… when you get hurt because of me-“

“Now you don’t say that.”

“But-”

“There’s none of that. It’s just you and me. Nothing else exists right now.”

Zhongli was ignorant and oblivious. Childe knew he had seen horrors in his divine time he couldn’t
begin to comprehend, but something about that statement was laced in an innocence Childe wanted
nothing more than to protect.

Was that odd? To want to protect the innocence of a God who had lost it a long time ago and seen
more death than what was imaginable? And yet… it was his greatest desire. For him… for him…

He couldn’t do this anymore. It’d be easier to deal with the repercussions of failure than hurt him
anymore. He’d leave Liyue tomorrow and say he failed. Zhongli would only miss him for a while
but get over it. It’d be better this way. He’d betrayed and hurt him too much to do it anymore. He’d
burn the locations he wrote and procrastinated on turning in and make sure no one got a hold of
them. That secret would stay with Zhongli forever until that history was dead and forgotten.

He had to stop this. Had to. This was it. There would be no more. No more.
He hugged Zhongli tighter and muffled a sob in his shoulder as Zhongli lightly kissed his head and
soothingly massaged his back. He wished Zhongli knew how much it pained him when he did that.
Affection so soft made him second guess his choices about leaving him. It made him think Zhongli
felt the same way.

It made him think of what wonderful things could happen if he did feel the same way. Oh, what a
fantasy to dream of as those gorgeous lips continued to kiss his hair as he was led to the bed to lay
down by him. And what a beautiful hope to have for an innocent moment when their lips met for a
second and Zhongli’s presence coated him with an overwhelming sensation of safety that made his
tears morph from agony to happiness.

Blissful ignorance. He’d protect that beautiful blissful ignorance with all the power he had. At that
moment, he’d do anything to stay in those arms and kiss those lips.

Blissful ignorance. What a beautiful thing he’d protect at all costs.

___

Cost him it did.

Fragments of Childe’s own ignorance were strewn across the floor of the entrance of his apartment
along with ripped papers, dirt, torn furniture, clean and dirty laundry, broken dishes, chips of
wood, and every other thing the Fatui could destroy. To think he was wailing like a bitch to Morax
while his apartment was getting raided. He was better than this.

It had to be the Fatui. The door was intact and there was no way anyone could’ve gone through the
windows at this height. He learned then why he was never allowed to change his lock.

They even left the radio and lights on, the fuckers. He could hear the muffled music since he
walked in. Childe stumbled over obstacles of shit strewn carelessly, no inch of his apartment
innocent of being fucked over by merciless hands.

He cursed under his breath. They were this messy about it on purpose, he knew. This must have
been the work of the lower ranks he was in charge of that had some sort of vendetta against him.
He’d find them and he’d kill them. Slowly, preferably, in front of their comrades to enforce a
lesson that should have already been learned. As soon as he turned his damned radio off. It
sounded like it was coming from his bedroom.

They must have gone through everything in his room, too-

Oh no.

Oh no.

“Fuck, no,” he hissed to himself as he scrambled through the garbage. He had another idea of why
he was raided, but maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was wrong, please, please let him be wrong.

“...you won't always understand, when you've truly loved someone…”

Childe didn’t think of turning the radio off or even listen to the lyrics as he burst through his
bedroom door. It was even worse than the rest of his apartment. They even went to such lengths as
tearing his duvet and sheets into shreds. His drawers, to his horror, were pulled out of his dresser
and desk and thrown aside, strewing all their contaminants in uncontained chaos.

“Until after they've gone...”

“F-fuck, no, no, no, no, please Gods, no…”

Childe went to his desk drawers broken across the floor and fumbled through all the crinkled
papers he could find. His porn stash was at the top of the pile with folded and looked through
pages, but he had no time to laugh. He sat on his knees and went through everything in sight
feverishly like a newlywed who lost their ring in a pit of used needles.

“This time of year, the nights fall longer, so grow a spine or catch cold…”

He couldn’t find it. Fuck, he couldn’t find it. Maybe he just had to look some more. Yes, surely this
wasn’t what he thought it was.

“The winter months, they do make you feel stronger, but in the end it's all getting old…”

Who was he kidding… That was exactly why they broke in.

He didn’t report in who knows how long. It shouldn’t surprise him that they broke in and stole all
the locations he was too cowardly to turn in. He couldn’t find them. He knew it was pointless to
search anymore. They were gone. Everything was gone. The Fatui had everything and there was
nothing he could do.

“And you won't always be walking the safest streets…”

Childe stood up slowly, not bothering to look around anymore among the chaos. He thought he
should feel defeated, but he didn’t feel anything. He still heard the radio playing and he sludged to
the kitchen.

“But you can find your way home, if you have imagined your way back…”

He tripped over a broken stool and almost fell flat on his face on his way to the liquor cabinet. He
knelt down, opened it, and laughed finally. His bottles he kept hidden away were still there. Was
he still allowed that kindness? Did he deserve it? Or was he cursed even more by being allowed to
still have them?

“Then my dear, you're more than halfway there...”

This changes things, Childe thought to himself as he carried two bottles to the counter and popped
them open. He knew he should be thinking about how he was going to say he failed when the Fatui
had evidence of his devoted work in their hands. He knew he should think about if it was possible
to see how far the fuckers who did this have gone and kill them now, but he couldn’t think of
anything.

He always hated the taste of vodka, and yet, here he was chugging it. Pathetic. Of all the things he
could be doing. Of all the other promises he had yet to break, of all the promises and trust he
already destroyed, here he was shattering it even more like that was all he knew how to do. He said
he’d stop drinking, didn’t he? It didn’t feel like it mattered. It didn’t feel like anything mattered.

“And you might only possess, what you've carried on your back…”

Maybe he could return everything before the ship left for Snezhnaya. Maybe it was the vodka
thinking that, but either way, he didn’t deserve to apologize. He’d be getting pity for apologizing
and he didn’t need that. He never deserved something like that in all his years of lying and
slaughtering. He’d amend this to his abilities and he’d leave without a word.

He’d never be able to return to Liyue again. He didn’t deserve to ever struggle for a breath in that
sticky, hot air and feel the exhilaration of sweat that trailed down his body as humidity kissed him
into a fever as he lost his mind further to all that is lovely. This whole nation was ecstasy and that
was exactly why he could never return when he left.

“But you've always been free, Now it's time to believe…”

Childe gulped down the rest of the bottle and slammed it down on the counter. He wasn’t going to
cry again. He’d clean up and he’d figure out the next step.

Who was he kidding? He didn’t have the strength.

Childe wrapped his arms around his sides and started swaying to the music without thinking.
Maybe he was doing that as he lost control of the fuzziness in his head and the lightness in his feet
as the repercussions of drinking too much too fast hit him stronger than he was used to. He’d been
clean for so long now… Should he feel guilty about that, too?

“Time to give up that unforgiving act…”

“...Of all-togetherness,” Childe sang along in a slur, closing his eyes and letting his mind go
blank. If he thought about it, he could feel Zhongli standing next to him.

“And start living out your oldest childhood dreams...”

He’d like to shed his skin and grow into something better than himself. He’d like to know what
true freedom tastes like and all the possibilities people with such luxury have before them. He’d
like to know how to make Zhongli smile again and he’d like to know how much more he’d have to
drink to let go of his sanity completely.

Morax? Zhongli? Were they different or the same? Those names and all others he went by were
molding into something he couldn’t grasp.

“Well, losing your mind, it ain't half as bad as it seems…”

Childe swung his arm around to hold the other bottle and fling it to his mouth, knocking over the
empty one and shattering it in the process. He didn’t even jump, just stepped over the broken glass
as he danced and imagined Zhongli leading him along. How selfish was that thought? Maybe it
would do him best to let go of shame completely and just exist. And just feel. And just be. Become
chaos in the midst of it, become the embodiment of it. Let go of everything that made him human.
Let go of everything holding him in chains and just…

How would it feel to just not exist anymore?

“And if you would take the risk,” he continued to sing to himself in between gulps as he lost
himself in bliss, “well, it might be worth your time…”

Maybe it would be just like this. Thoughtless bliss. Only his imagination leading him in circles and
the sound of trash cracking under his shoes. Where nothing but him existed and there was no
broken promises, no guilt, no stress, no work, nothing.

He wouldn’t be feeling shitty about caring for Zhongli along with his family and he wouldn’t be
desperately trying to decide who was more important. He wouldn’t have to worry about anything.

Fuck… who was more important? Who’s feelings mattered more? He didn’t want to think about it.
He didn’t want to think about anything.

He wished all this would just disappear.

“It's only your life, it's only going by-“

Childe stumbled over and fell down on his ass, slumping against the kitchen counter with a thud.
He couldn’t help but laugh a little at the ridiculousness of this as he gulped down more of his
thankfully safe bottle. How lovely was that magic water in glass. They wouldn’t have that outside
of existence.

But he could let it go. He could let everything go. He could be free from this if he could only will
himself to be.

But as appealing as that thought was, even if he didn’t exist, would he manage without Zhongli?
He didn’t know and he didn’t want to think about it.

“Goodbye my sweet homeworld, without you now I'm a lonely universe…”

___

“Are you lonely too? Are you lonely too?”

Childe let himself flow free in the rhythm of the song echoing in both of their ears as he and
Zhongli danced around his bedroom. He didn’t think about how glad he was Zhongli didn’t notice
all the missing furniture or open the closet stuffed with all the mess he cleaned in a hurry. And he
was especially thankful Zhongli didn’t say anything about how suddenly spotless everything was.

There was just them. Just them. And just them moving without a care in the world to this song.

“Hi-five!” Childe slapped his own hand and smiled wider when he heard Zhongli laugh. That was
the most wonderful sound in the world and it only encouraged him to scream the lyrics louder. “So
am I!”

He watched with a wide smile as Zhongli rang a laugh and grabbed his hands again to start moving
in time with one another again. Zhongli was an amazing dancer and Childe wondered if that was
talent or practice. He looked into those amber eyes and saw nothing but affection laced in them.
Childe melted where he danced and felt his heart skip a few beats.

“All of your life!” he screamed along to the song, finding not enough outlet for his emotions in the
dancing and electrifying touch of Zhongli’s hands clasped in his own, “stuck inside, well I’m stuck
too! I’m stuck with you, you, you, I do!”

Childe watched Zhongli’s face suddenly break into the widest, most precious smile he’d ever seen
him wear. His eyes were sparkling and squinting in joy, cheeks and ears rosy, and he was laughing.
He was laughing and it was the most precious thing Childe ever heard. He couldn’t help but laugh
too, adding to the music of joy flooding both of their ears.
“You always look so stoic!” Childe giggled as he continued to admire Zhongli’s face. He wanted to
burn that expression in his memory and keep it forever. What a rare and lovely sight. “What’s got
you smiling like that?”

Zhongli’s face melted into something full of adoration and affection and Childe could see tears
glazing over his eyes. He felt like he knew why he was smiling like that, a loud chime of intuition
and hope making his world light into a million colors like a supernova of passion.

Zhongli was a supernova, uncontained and birthing something even brighter and greater inside of
Childe’s heart, something millions of miles wide, so luminous it was blinding, so uncontained no
god could control it, and so grand it was incomprehensible.

Was it love? Could it be love?

Could it be he felt the same way? Could this supernova birth stars like he wanted it to?

A sea of stars. A puddle of light that was reflecting flickering colors and chiming like church bells.
He could see that in his eyes, so full of love. It was undeniable. They were full of love.

“I’m having so much fun dancing with you,” Zhongli smiled down at him. Childe felt his face melt
and heart soar as he gazed into those beautiful eyes.

“I do,” the song continued to sing, “I do…”

“I’m glad.” Childe felt his eyes sting again as he got lost in Zhongli’s. He felt like he was floating
in all that was lovely when he looked at them. The warm colors flooded his soul of nothing but
good. “I’m glad... you’re having…”

Childe rested his head on Zhongli’s shoulder just to feel his warmth, nuzzling his face in the crook
of his neck and basking in it. Zhongli was the burning sun, he was the tipsy and humid night, he
was the blinding and birthing supernova, and he was everything else that was grand and wonderful.
He could find Zhongli in everything, and Childe felt as if he really did feel the same when his heart
palpitated under him and Zhongli grew even warmer.

“I’m glad you’re having fun. I’m so glad you’re having fun.”

“Of course I am,” Zhongli responded in a whisper as the song faded. “I always do when I’m with
you.”

That statement made Childe really think Zhongli loved him. What a wonderful thought and what a
wonderful moment. It made him smile against his neck and it made him hold Zhongli tighter as
they slow-danced in silence.

He couldn’t live without this. This was perfect. There was nothing more lovely than this.

But it wouldn’t last.

Did he forget what his apartment looked like when he first walked in? Did he forget why they were
dancing in the first place?

Was this really more important than his family? Why wasn’t he thinking of his family anymore?
Was he really that horrible of a son and brother?

But if his family was more important, he’d have to keep manipulating and using the person who he
loved the most.
Loved the most? Who did he love the most? Why did he love anyone?

Childe bit back the tears that morphed into something worse than joy. He wished he could go back
to when it was just the two of them dancing and he forgot everything.

He wished they could just stay together like everything was okay again. He wished he would stop
remembering. He wished he would stop acting so stupidly around him, wished he wasn’t so terrible
and selfish , and wished it was possible for Zhongli to feel the same.

___

“So,” Childe stumbled, not minding that he was interrupting Zhongli for a second time, “how many
people do you talk about the archon war and artifacts and all that stuff with?”

“As many people who express they are interested,” Zhongli shrugged casually. So innocently and
casually. “I’ve had new employees at the parlor ask about gods they are interested in regarding
their history, people who discover I am knowledgeable on the topic. Sharing passion in history is a
quick way to make new acquaintances I have discovered… Ajax, maybe I can cook breakfast next
time to make up for my behavior. I apologize again.”

Childe stared down at the floor. He knew what he said, he knew very well what he said and what it
meant, but he just wasn’t processing it.

What was all this for? Why was Zhongli over at his place? Why were they having this
conversation if he didn’t need to get this far?

He could’ve just asked right away? Right away? He didn’t have to do all these horrible things to
Zhongli? Zhongli, who was so precious and innocent?

“Ajax?”

“Would you have taught those people you’ve never met before all of the history you’ve taught
me?”

He knew the answer. He cursed himself for having hope. There was no point in having hope. What
was there to have hope in? Hoping this wasn’t pointless? That wasn’t supposed to bother him. It
never bothered him before.

But this was different than before. He broke the rule. He should have expected this.

“Yes,” Zhongli affirmed again, furrowing his brows. “I’ve told many people the same things I’ve
told you. Why do you ask?”

What should he do? What was the thing to do?

“Are you alright?”

“I’m going to go take a shower,” Childe said quickly, standing up and walking mindlessly to the
bathroom. “You can stay and shower when I’m done or whatever you want to do. Sorry for not
making breakfast that good.”

“It’s alright, I’m sorry for not being more appreciative. It was a lovely gesture…”
His words trailed off as Childe locked the door behind him and slumped against the wall. Zhongli
could hear everything through the walls. He remembered this.

Childe turned on the shower to drown out the sound, brought his arm to his face, and screamed into
it. He hoped it was muffled enough. He hoped Zhongli wasn’t listening.

He just hurt people. That was all he was good for. He hurt and he destroyed. And these days he
threw tantrums at least once a day.

He wouldn’t let tears fall down his face again. He wouldn’t let them. He’d never cry again. Never
again. He screamed into his arm again to keep the sting in his eyes from growing too strongly. He
could’ve just asked. Why didn’t he just ask? He could’ve just asked and none of this would’ve
happened.

Childe wished he never met him, because maybe then, Zhongli would be happier. Or even better,
he wished he didn’t exist for Zhongli to meet him.

Maybe… he wished he’d died before Zhongli met him.

___

“I had to replace my wallpaper last time I was in Liyue and it was troublesome. Very
troublesome.”

“Y-yes Sir, I understand. I-I’m just doing my job, I’m sorry, I’m-”

Childe kicked the agent against the wall again and watched devoid of emotion as he spat blood on
the floor and choked out a sob.

He watched him as he pushed himself up on shaking arms only to fall back down again, wailing
like an animal and crunching his face in pain. Childe wondered how many ribs he broke when he
flung him back. He pressed the heel of his boot on his side to check and earned another cry from
the other.

He felt like he should be enjoying watching him writhe in agony since he always did, but he still
didn’t feel a thing. Not a thing.

“Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad to clean up,” Childe mumbled to himself. “I’d like to see how much
more blood you can spit out before you’re spent.”

The agent shuddered and Childe continued to stare.

“You’d like to keep living, wouldn’t you?”

“I-I would. I-I’m just doing my job. S-Sir, I have a family at home. Two beautiful daughters and a
wife. I want to go home to them. T-This was just an assignment given to me, I-I’m s-sorry, I’m
sorry-”

“Get out.”

The agent rushed to his feet and sprinted out the door. Childe closed it behind him with a shake of
his head and sighed to himself. He eyed the letter on the counter given to him earlier and cursed
under his breath.

Fucking… just… everything. Fuck everything if it wasn’t already.

Maybe he’d be disturbed again if he didn’t read and reply. Childe tore the packaging open and
folded it open with a grumble. They just couldn’t leave him alone, huh?

He didn’t feel like reading the whole thing. He flipped through the papers and read the middle
paragraph of the middle page.

...in regards to your new task and sudden news of overtime, Her Majesty promises a faithful
reward upon completion when you return…

New task? What…

Childe scrambled through the other pages and scanned through part of the first page.

...power sources are crucial to the functioning of artifacts. The God of Salt rested mere meters
away from her recovered artifacts and they proved to perform to their promised capabilities, so
this fact is absolute. As such, artifacts secured in the Motherland are proving to be useless and
powerless as they are too far away from their previous owner’s resting place.

You are given an additional two months of commodities in your place of deployment to find the
Gods who owned these artifacts and recover their source of power using any methods necessary.
You are required to submit a report of progress and success three times a week, once on Monday,
once on Wednesday, and once on Saturday. Failure to follow through with your duties will result in
loss of the luxuries Her Majesty was so gracious in providing to you, including but not limited to
current housing, benefits to your family, current pay…

Childe folded the letter in half and set it down onto the counter.

He read that right, didn’t he? He peaked at it again to make sure.

As such, artifacts secured in the Motherland are proving to be useless and powerless as they are
too far away from their previous owner’s resting place.

They didn’t work. He did all of that and they didn’t work. They didn’t even work.

He slowly walked to grab his glass of juice resting on the counter he was in the middle of drinking
before the agent burst through the door, swirling it around and watching the liquid slosh. The pulp
made it thick, just like everything else here. Thick and heavy on his shoulders.

Like chains he couldn’t escape from. They didn’t work.

Ironic. He was drinking this to substitute the vodka and so he could ask Zhongli to try sucking him
off again and be clean for him. How comical. How fitting. This drink was so poetic.

He took a small sip from the glass. Sweet. That much sugar couldn’t be good for him. Maybe with
as long as he would be staying, he’d gain a few pounds. It was a nice glass, really. Pure crystal, part
of a set he bought. He admired it a little longer.

He thought he would take it home and give it to his mother as a souvenir, but maybe that wasn’t a
possibility anymore. Maybe he wouldn’t see Teucer for another year. Maybe the Fatui would keep
him here until the fucking sun blew up.

Zhongli was the sun. He remembered thinking that.

He gripped it a little tighter.

They didn’t work. He’d have to keep doing this even longer because they didn’t work. He
wouldn’t be able to ensure Teucer was well in person. He wouldn’t be able to stop this like he
wanted. He had more work. More work.

This was a very nice glass.

He wordlessly threw it as hard as he could against the wall, watching blankly as it exploded in a
clap of thunder and shattered into a million pieces on the ground, staining the wall with the bit of
juice still in it as blood would. And he felt no relief.

He should’ve killed that agent. He’d gotten soft.

He pulled the cabinet doors off with a single yank and grabbed all the other crystal dishware he
could find, slamming it against the walls and still not uttering a sound. The noise was making his
ears ring and his head throb but he didn’t care. He didn’t care.

The sound of glass popping under his shoes and the feeling of it breaking under his steps didn’t
faze him as he mindlessly summoned a water blade and lunged it as hard as he could against the
wall. It didn’t break, which shouldn’t surprise him considering the Fatui built everything for
violence. They built him for violence. That’s all he was. Just a tool for it, for them . He wasn’t a
person. He wasn’t human.

He darted forward to keep hitting it with every ounce of emotion, no matter what it was, that he
kept locked away for too long. Every bang was making his muscles ache and face grit into strain.
Grunts of force turned into wails and cries as he emptied his lungs of all air. He wished he could
break that wall. He hated that fucking wall.

He swept everything on the counter away in a strangled movement with a scream, too far gone in
the stuffiness in his head and the ringing in his ears to hear any of it.

There was no escape. These chains on his wrists were here forever.

He fell to his knees on the ground and locked his eyes on a glass shard before he could bury his
face in his hands and succumb to misery. He grabbed it, pressing his fingers down and feeling the
sharp tang of it cutting deep in his flesh.

He could cut those chains off. He could do it if he wanted to. He could be set free. He could find
out what non-existence was like. He could do it. He could do it. The blood dripping from his
fingers could grow in volume. He could very much do it. Right here. Right now. And he would be
free.

He stared down at the shard in his hands then dropped it in horror, scrambling away from the
blood-stained fragment on all fours like it would hurt him if he got too close and all the other
shards his hands pressed on and got cut by wouldn’t. He barely felt the pain anymore.

What was he thinking? What was wrong with him?

There was a trail of crimson leading back to where he sat, stopping at his still stinging hand, and it
horrified him. Because he did that. He did that.

He let out a strangled sound and leaned over to wail and hug his sides, smearing more color on his
clothes. Why did he think of something like that? Did he not care for his family anymore? Did he
not care for Zhongli? Was he that terrible of a person?

Would Zhongli really be sad if he did it?

That thought alone was enough to break him completely. He didn’t know what this was for. He
didn’t know why he was doing this. He didn’t know why he was doing anything, why he was here,
why he was living, how he didn’t die yet, how someone didn’t kill him.

No, he wasn’t going to cry. He’d scream and he’d yell, but he wasn’t going to cry.

He had a sparring match today with Aether before he needed to meet with Zhongli. Fuck, he had…

Childe crawled across the kitchen to that fucked cabinet and swung the door open. He sat next to it
and drank straight from whatever bottle was in there. He didn’t have work for the rest of the day
thanks to that scheduled sparring match. He’d have to go, didn’t he?

He chugged as much liquor as he could like it was water in the middle of a desert and felt its effects
almost immediately. He let out a sigh as temporary bliss clouded his mind for a moment.

What was wrong with him? He still couldn’t believe he considered that.

What was so wrong with it?

Huh.

“What’s so wrong with it?” He slurred aloud to no one. He didn’t get a response. He almost
listened for one and wished someone could be here to help him.

Surely he had lost it completely by now. But he didn’t care.

He just didn’t care anymore.

___

Childe bellowed a scream as he lunged towards Aether with uncoordinated rage and flung his
water blade at nothing. Aether had been dodging his attacks this whole time and it was really
pissing him off. Frustration continued to build in his gut and boil over as he darted and swung at
that despicable thick air countless times.
He barely was able to block a graceful swing of Aether’s sword. He flung it back with all the
strength left in him before feeling a deep and sharp gust of anemo shoot at his gut. He
unintentionally hunched over as he lunged forward again like a wounded animal as the wind was
knocked out of him and he struggled to breathe, lungs burning from physical strain and the pain
wracking his body.

He wished he could just hurt something. Anything. Anything at all. And yet, he was still swinging
at the hot and humid air. It mocked him with every breeze his blades swept and every frustrated
scream that ripped out of his throat. It felt like the whole universe was laughing at him and though
he knew he deserved it he hated it. Hated it so, so much.

His vision blacked out for a second before returning sharply and suddenly to adrenaline pumping
through his entire body and the light of the golden house blinding him. He was lying down on his
back, still struggling to breathe, and Aether was standing over him. Already he had been knocked
down. How long had it been? He couldn’t remember flying this far. There was just this flood of
colors overtaking his senses.

Fuck the colors. He fucking hated the colors, warm and bright like Zhongli’s eyes. It felt like he
was all around him. It made him want to get up and start destroying everything in his line of sight,
but he couldn’t move.

“You’re already down!” Aether laughed with a wide smirk on his face. “I can’t tell if I’m stronger
or you’re just off your game! Did whoever roughed you up earlier make you weak, Childe?”

Aether was eyeing the crimson still smeared on his clothes and it did nothing but remind him of
that shitshow. Childe tried to stand up, but he pathetically slumped over. He would laugh at
himself if he were a bystander. Another frustrated cry emerged from his chest as he struggled,
refusing to give up so soon.

“I’ll take my rewards now,” Aether sang, holding out his hand with a smug grin. “You should be
generous this time, Childe. If you are, maybe I’ll go a little easier on you next… week…”

Aether trailed off as Childe continued to struggle, attempting to stand only to fall back over. He
didn’t know if giving up or continuing this would be more humiliating at this point. The pain of
being watched while like this was worse than the head-splitting agony all over his body.

Aether knelt down next to him. Fuck, now he was getting pity. He hated pity. Fuck this guy. He
hated him. He hated that concerned look on his face and how gentle he looked. He hated that he
was barely sweating while Ajax spat blood over the floor. He used to love the color, but it looked
too beautiful on the glistening floors. The floors looked too beautiful. It looked like him too much.

Everything was him. He wanted everything to be him, and he loved being able to find him in
everything while hating himself for it. He didn’t know if it was infatuation, weakness, or a fucked
up combination of both, nor did he know if thinking about how perfect and beautiful he was while
like this was just as or more messed up.

“Childe, is something wrong-”

“Shut up,” Childe meant to hiss. It came out as a long slur before he spat more blood on the floor.
The action alone was enough to send more adrenaline pumping through his veins. He used to adore
the feeling, but it felt foreign now.

“No, you really aren’t acting like yourself,” Aether said firmly as if he was talking to a crying
child. He really did feel pathetic. “You’ve been really different for the past couple months, but
especially these past weeks. What’s going on? You never lose this easy and you’re being really
weird… Wait, are you drunk-”

“How come you never finish the job, huh?!”

That statement came out of nowhere and surprised even himself, but now that he was talking he
couldn’t stop. “You’re here to beat the shit out of me, right? You’ve been given an assignment, so
why can’t you ever follow through?! How fucking incompetent are you?!”

“Childe, what are you talking about?”

“You have a job!” he screamed, barely able to get the words out. He didn’t know if it was at
Aether or himself. “You’ve got to be really fucking weak to never complete it! How hard is it to
just do what you’ve been told to?!”

“Job? What are you-”

“So finish it! Just fucking finish it! I’m scum anyway, aren’t I?! It’d be easier if you never had to
stop me from doing this shit again! So just finish the fucking job!”

Aether was quiet for a moment. Childe kept his eyes on the ground so he wouldn’t see his face
contorting. “Childe,” Aether began far too gentle for his liking, “you’re… asking me to… You
can’t be asking me to-”

“Just do it!”

Childe couldn’t stop the tears from falling no matter how much he tried to hold them in. Another
promise to break. He was so good at doing that. He felt so weak, so impossibly weak. He hated
himself. He hated himself so much, for doing that to the only person that’s important, for crying
this much, for pulling Aether into all of this, for doubting his ability to provide for his family, for
putting other people over the ones he swore to love above everyone else, for everything. For
everything, he hated himself, especially for asking someone to do the thing he knew he’d always
be too cowardly to do himself and knowing no one would bat an eye if it was at someone else’s
hands. “It’d be easier for everyone if you did,” he choked. “So do it.”

He saw Aether from the corner of his eye sit down completely before feeling himself being pulled
into his lap as he continued to sob. Aether rested his head on his chest as he cried into it, rubbing
soft circles over his back and away from his wounds. He felt him check his wrists and whatever
skin was bare, leaving him feeling even more humiliated and weak as if the feeling could intensify
any more. He wanted to pull away but didn’t even have the strength to do that. “It’s okay,” Aether
whispered in a shaking voice. He could feel Aether’s own tears stain his already soaked cheeks.
“It’ll be okay. I promise it’ll be okay.”

“J-just do-”

“Shh, it’s okay.” He felt his hand start to pet his hair too similar to how Zhongli would. “I-it’s okay
to cry. Just let it out. It’ll all be ok, I promise it’s all going to be ok. J-just let it out. I promise it’s
okay, just let it out.”

Childe couldn’t hold back the cries that ripped out of his chest as Aether continued to rub his back
and pulled him in closer. His voice sounded hoarse and foreign. He hated that too, but he couldn’t
stop screaming.

Weak. He felt so weak.

“It’s okay,” Aether continued to shake as if it was all he knew how to say. “It’s okay, Childe. It’s
okay to cry, it’s okay to cry…”

___

“Don’t you dare cry. You don’t deserve to cry. Are you so fucking full of yourself that you cry
when you hurt other people as if they’re at fault?”

“Y-you misunderstand-”

“Are you still trying to lie to me?”

He didn’t even know what he’d explain if Zhongli let him. That he was scared what would happen
to his family if he didn’t follow through? That he was going to stop but the Fatui raided him before
he could? That he was sorry? Something as stupid as that?

What did he misunderstand? He doubted there was anything to misunderstand.

“Don’t fucking cry. I didn’t expect you to act so pitifully. Though I hardly imagine you have it in
you to own up to your actions.”

“You think I had a choice?!” Why was he attempting to explain? Why was he bothering? “Do you
know what would happen if-”

“I’d think so. Didn’t this persuasion method work? ”

Childe wanted to bite his hand or slam his head against the wall to stop the sobs from breaking out
of his chest, but he couldn’t do anything but stand in horror. He didn’t feel like this was real, like
he was watching this all play on a screen. Maybe this was some comedic playwright made on his
suffering for Zhongli to continue to laugh at. Zhongli knowing the worst words he could’ve said
was comedic enough.

“Y-you heard-”

“It did, didn’t it? You got what you wanted. So why are you still here?”

How was he supposed to respond to that when he just confessed? What was the right answer?
What did Zhongli want? What could he say that would make him happy? Was there anything he
could do to make him happy again? He missed that smile. He really missed that smile.

“I don’t know.”

“There’s a reason. You had no purpose to return today. You got what you wanted a long time ago.
Was it to gloat? To try and get more information out of me? I doubt it’d be difficult based on your
words.”

“I don’t know!” Childe felt delirious like he was high on crystalized shit in the middle of a night
terror. He used to relish the feeling of being on the brink of insanity. Maybe he was already there.
Maybe he was.

“Tell me.”
“I don’t fucking know!” What was he supposed to say?! What was he supposed to do?! What
answer did he want?!

“You do know! Surely there’s nothing else to hide from me! There’s no point in lying about
anything else! You don’t have to lie about having feelings for me to cover your tracks now that I
know the truth anymore! So what’s the fucking reason for you to still come here to do that with
me?!”

Did he not believe him? Why would he lie?

He knew why. He lied about enough already. Why would he trust him now?

“Tell me!”

He never once heard Zhongli cry out like that. Childe’s eyes moved to Zhongli’s face, contorted in
agony, body hunched over, hands clung to his heart, and entire being shaking. He could see the
tears that were glazing over his eyes and the tremble of his lip.

That voice was broken and in unbearable pain. He didn’t want to hear him scream like that ever
again. It only made him cry harder.

He did this. He broke him. Childe made him turn into a different man. That wasn’t the Zhongli that
opened his arms in a silent invitation to cuddle. That wasn’t the Zhongli that smiled softly as he
gave him a cup of tea. That wasn’t the Zhongli with the stone-cold face as he molded his hands to
fit around his chopsticks. That was someone he made. He made him hurt like that. It was his fault.

His fault.

“I w-wasn’t lying about having feelings-”

“Get out.”

Why did he say that? Why did he bring up his feelings again as if they mattered? What was the
point in that? What was he hoping?

“GET OUT!”

Childe scrambled out of Zhongli’s sight and out of his apartment before he could even process
what he was doing. He barely closed the door behind him as he rushed down the hallway, to where
he didn’t know.

Where was he going? The lights were blinding. The walls were the color of amber. He couldn’t
look anymore. He just couldn’t look anymore.

He found himself inside of a bathroom before he could even process what happened. He found a
stall door open, fumbled with the lock, then stood inside.

Where was he?

The light was reflecting on the floors. It smelled like piss and shit. Fitting.

Fitting…

Childe fell on the floor with a broken sob. He didn’t have the strength to stand. He didn’t have the
strength to do anything he felt like. He extended a shaking hand up to the light above the stall to
block it. He didn’t know if he could stand to see the color orange for another day. Everything
 warm was too beautiful for him to handle.

Sculpted perfection. Zhongli was beauty molded from the hands of the greatest power above.
Whenever he looked at sunlight, he thought about how his eyes shone brighter than even that. He
could stare directly at a blazing summer’s sun for an eternity and still not be as blinded as when
they made eye contact.

Zhongli was still the burning sun that didn’t grace him with light while the night was young, the
humid night that made him feel like he was going to pass out from exhaustion and made him a
sweating feast for the bugs, and the supernova that would birth stars in him that would corrupt into
collapsed cores and form black holes so strong it sucked in every emotion he had. And it wasn’t
Zhongli’s fault these things became terrible because he was the one who only came out at dark,
drank too much and didn’t wipe the sweat off his brow, and was too weak to keep himself
composed.

Everything was too bright and left him overwhelmed.

He wished he would stop crying. He was such a bitch for crying.

To think… he did all of this for none of it to matter anyway. To think that he could’ve been some
stranger on the street and Zhongli would have told him everything anyway. To think that he
betrayed the only person who mattered for none of the artifacts to even work.

The brightness was overwhelming. It put him on his knees and his forehead pressed against the
filthy bathroom floor as broken cries shook from his chest like a repenting man writhing in the guilt
of his sins before his mighty God. His hands were still itching to worship Zhongli and his soul was
still screaming at him to devote every part of himself to him even though it must be over now.

He was suddenly really thankful that he kept a stash of vodka hidden away in his apartment. He’d
have to walk over there.

He didn’t want to do that. That required… a lot of energy. He didn’t think he had anything left to
give.

Chapter End Notes

I actually had this pre-written as a very, VERY rough draft so I could add in details
about this in the chapters, I hope you guys can notice little stuff if you ever re-read
anything.

I worked very hard on this chapter and hope it turned out okay dhajdjsjs. Here’s a
reminder that everything will have a happy ending next week, see you again on
Sunday, and thank you again to u/Estrogen for beta reading for me! :)
 Chance
Chapter Summary

There’s never a perfect time. Zhongli just needs a push in the right direction to realize
that.

Chapter Notes

The final chapter, oh my gosh! I hope this makes the wait worth it since some of you
guys said this previous week would be torture. Why’s the chapter called “Chance”?
Because I am centering the entire thing around the song “Chance” by… Do I even
have to say? I think it’s obvious Angel Olsen is my favorite musician by this point. I’m
just doxing my music tastes at this point.

I also reference the song Cicada by Belle Mare and Endgame by Angel Olsen again.
Give it a listen, it’s very beautiful. They’re both on the playlist too. In fact, the playlist
itself is referenced!! You should check it out if you hadn’t already, here’s the link
again: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4bo08Yj6rvqAVKgOp1HFRh?
si=b32407bada4346ff . Speaking of, I actually ordered the songs in order of events in
the fic (well… sort of), so hop on over there if you want to. If you want to listen to
music in the order of the journey of this chapter, you should start with “Mountain’r
Lower” by Jessica Pratt and the rest in order. I actually think it’s a lovely song that fits
the start of this fic and the rest of the songs fit the ascension of the events of this
chapter. Also, thank you all who listened to the songs I recommended!! I’m very glad I
could indoctrinate some of you into the wondrous world of underground Sapphic folk
music.

Remember when you guys said this chapter better be long and you liked the super long
previous chapter? Well, this one is 20,000ish words. I do my best to provide the food
and good pacing, so please be patient with this one. It’s gonna be a long ride.

Thank you all for your love, comments, kudos, hits, and support. This was such a
lovely journey and I hope this chapter makes it all worth it. :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The afternoon was golden.

Zhongli used to take the time to admire how the sunlight bounced off the walls of the homes and
buildings in Liyue, taking mental note of how well the bright sunlight adorned his home, but there
wasn’t much on his mind now. It was his day off, and though he usually had a packed day full of
all the things he wanted to do, he didn’t plan on anything today.

It had been a week since he last saw Childe and he didn’t know what to think. He thought it would
be best to continue going through his routines he always did, but even then, he’d glance up to the
clock waiting for nine in the evening to roll by and felt like his bed was a lot colder than it usually
was. Even walking through this especially bright afternoon, the sun was blinding in a way it never
was before. It made his head hurt and his empty chest clench a little.

Even though his routines continued and he kept being as punctual to everything, as usual, he
couldn’t focus on anything. Hu Tao resorted to bursting into his office to bring tea that he hardly
had the energy to thank her for let alone drink instead of knocking since he never responded these
days. On top of this, he had stacks of overdue paperwork to sort through that only added to the
stress collecting on his shoulders and hadn’t been able to taste the food he prepared for himself for
a few days. Even just waking up proved to take up too much energy, leaving him to lay in bed and
stare at the ceiling until the anxiety of being late again got him on his feet and getting ready just on
time.

The afternoon was golden, but Zhongli didn’t think about it as he strolled through the streets. Or, it
felt more like he was trudging along, no certain place he was going or coming from, just doing
what he always did. Even as he looked at the windows of the shops and all the new things they had
for the new season, he felt not even a twinge of excitement like how he usually did.

Surely a week was enough time to sort through everything, but Zhongli still felt lost as to what he
was supposed to do. He had more than enough time to replay the argument they had in his head,
recalling even the smallest details that wouldn’t stop plaguing his mind at every minute of every
day and night. The more he thought about it the more he felt the weight in his stomach drop and
his mind race at everything he could have possibly done to ensure the outcome was at least a little
better than it was. But then, he’d feel guilty about wanting to give someone who used him, used
the most intimate thing he could give for their own selfish benefit, forgiveness that he didn’t
understand fully yet, and tried to turn the memory off. He knew he couldn’t stop the scenes from
flashing behind his eyes even if he wanted, and yet, he continued to fight against a battle he was
destined to lose.

The worst part was that he felt no anger towards Childe anymore, just this horrible longing to see
him again. He didn’t know if it was undeserved forgiveness he gave him without meaning to or the
numbness that kept spreading to every inch of his soul that he gave up his fight against days ago.
He didn’t think he could face him and apologize for the things he’d come to regret saying so much
or express how he felt. He hardly had the energy to even walk through his city, something that
used to come so naturally and he looked forward to doing, even though it was such a small thing.

He really did say such horrible things to him, didn’t he? Such terrible, horrible things were echoing
behind his ears even now. This was nothing short of torture that he felt there was no escape from.
His ears were fuzzy and ringing, eyes not looking at what laid before him, and feet heavy with
every step forward. He hardly remembered why he used to walk in the first place-

“I told you I have to call his name a million times before he responds these days! Yo, Zhongli!” A
pause followed after the voice Zhongli recognized called out to him. “See?! Nothing! Aiya, it’s like
he’s made of stone.”

“That’s a bit cruel to say when he’s right there, isn’t it?” A poised and also familiar voice asked
sheepishly.

“Not when he can’t hear a thing it isn’t. Zhongli! Yo, Zhongli! Hey rocks-for-brains, pay attention
for once!”

Zhongli looked up to see Hu Tao across the street, waving furiously and accompanied by… Oh,
how truly wonderful to see that they were all together again. Xingqiu, holding Chongyun’s hand, as
well as Xiangling were standing next to her, looking a little flustered at Hu Tao’s erratic behavior
and the stares it was earning. “Finally he looks up!” Hu Tao cheered. “Hey! Long time no see, old
man! Well, long time meaning a day or so, but still!”

Even with how eccentric Hu Tao was acting, Zhongli couldn’t help but think she and Xiangling
looked like third and fourth wheels to Xingqiu’s open affection to Chongyun. When holding his
hand was not enough, he flushed his side with his and rested his head on his shoulder, making
Chongyun visibly mumble to himself, a stark pink crossing his face, and grab a popsicle from his
pack. Zhongli waved modestly back and gave his best small but genuine smile he could make after
being ripped from his thoughts so mercilessly.

“Hello Director,” he smiled softly. “And hello to all of you as well, Xiangling, Chongyun, and
Xingqiu. How lovely to see you.”

“Hi, Mr. Zhongli!” Xiangling smiled, only for a small frown to cross her face. “You haven’t been
by Wanmin in a while, and neither has Mr. Childe. I miss seeing you guys together!”

Zhongli stuttered over his words a little, having to look aside before speaking. “Apologies,” he
managed. “I… haven’t had much time to stop by, lately.”

“You have plenty of time to sit around at work during your lunch break,” Hu Tao teased. “You
should’ve come along with me to Wanmin then, Zhongli!”

“I’m sorry for not doing so,” Zhongli apologized softly. “And… for my behavior at work.”

“Oh, don’t worry about something like that,” Hu Tao waved off. “How are you, by the way?”

“I’m alright-”

“Zhongli Xiangsheng, it’s so, so good to see you!” An enthusiastic Xingqiu quickly interrupted.
“Your advice was perfect! Actually, I wanted to just march right over there, but I ended up waiting
outside of Chongyun’s door for hours because I was too nervous to knock! Then Chongyun opened
the door, saw me, and I had to explain why I was there! W-We- I was stuttering over my words and
so flustered and-”

“We talked for hours,” Chongyun interrupted, biting off the last bit of his popsicle and smiling
softly while Xingqiu visibly relaxed again. “We found out we both liked each other and decided to
try dating just to see how it goes since I won’t know the effects relationships will have on my
condition until I try.”

“Or I found out you liked me,” Xingqiu giggled. “You already knew I liked you!”

“I suppose that’s true,” Chongyun agreed with a nod.

“Anyway,” Xingqiu continued, “thank you again for the advice! You were right about there never
being a perfect time. I wouldn’t have ever worked up the courage to go over there if you didn’t
teach me that. Thank you so much, Zhongli!

“Again with the cryptic advice!” Hu Tao snapped. “What does that mean?! Why won’t you two tell
me?!”

Chongyun started to eat another popsicle and Xiangling directed her attention back to Zhongli.
“Are you okay, Mr. Zhongli?” She asked with a small frown. “You… look kinda sad.”

Zhongli didn’t notice how he was staring at how happy Xingqiu and Chongyun looked, so he
blinked away from the sight of them giggling and squeezing each other’s hand to direct his
attention to Xiangling. “I’m alright,” he managed. “Thank you for your concern.”
Xiangling and Hu Tao exchanged glances and small frowns before Xiangling turned back to him.
“Well…” Xiangling began as Chongyun and Xingqiu turned towards him again and their faces fell.
Xiangling stuttered over her words while Zhongli felt all of their eyes on him. He sank into himself
a little, shuffling his feet and suddenly feeling very awkward. “You come on by Wanmin later!”
Xiangling suddenly exclaimed when she found the words. “You’ll feel better after a hearty meal.
I’ll treat you since you haven’t been by in so long. It’s on the house-”

“No, I’ll treat Zhongli and you,” Hu Tao suddenly declared. “Let’s all sit together and spend some
time with him! The more the merrier! It’s your day off too anyway, right Xiangling? You should
relax! You only have so much time to take leisure time, after all!”

“Right, but I really don’t mind cooking-”

“We’ll pitch in too,” Chongyun announced. “The more the merrier for sure. I am also interested in
hearing if Zhongli has heard anything about demons that need exorcizing.”

“Of course I’ll come along as well,” Xingqiu grinned. “In fact, I’ll pay! It’s not like my family
doesn’t have the money.”

“I remember saying I’d cook, so don’t worry about checks-”

“For my friends and co-workers, I will take care of the bill! Aiya, no need to spend all your
worrying now! There’s not a lot of time left for any of you to-”

“I have enough money saved up from my exorcism commissions. I can take care of the bill for
Zhongli myself-”

“Let’s just split it four ways!” Xingqiu suddenly declared, voice frantic over the fighting. Hu Tao
and Xiangling let out a loud cheer and Chongyun pressed his cyro vision to his temple.

“I appreciate the offer,” Zhongli began softly, “but I’m fine, really. There’s no need-”

“You’re going,” Hu Tao snapped. “As your boss, I am telling you that you have to.”

Zhongli sighed. He could still feel everyone’s eyes on him no matter how much he looked away.
“Sure,” he finally agreed, feeling a little defeated. “What time?”

“Six on the dot!” Xiangling cheered. “I’ll talk to Chef Mao about getting a table! Don’t any of you
dare be late!”

“We’ll go help set it up,” Hu tao declared with nods from Xingqiu and Chongyun. Zhongli didn’t
know what they could possibly have to set up if Xiangling wasn’t cooking and if they were
meeting at a restaurant, but he couldn’t will himself to ask.

“Six on the dot,” Hu Tao reminded Zhongli sternly. “You better be there.”

Zhongli hardly knew how he got himself in this mess to begin with. He let out a small exhale and
nodded, deciding there was no point in arguing even though he felt like it would require a lot of
energy he didn’t have to follow through with their plans. “I will,” he promised, knowing now there
was no turning back. “I will see all of you then. Thank you, but you really shouldn’t pay for-”

“You have no say,” Xiangling snapped. “You’re getting treated whether you like it or not!”

“T-Thank you-”
“Don’t you dare thank us!” Hu Tao commanded, pointing a finger at his chest and stomping her
foot a little. “It’s the least we can do for you, Zhongli. You’ve done so much for all of us, so expect
no less!”

___

Zhongli walked to Wanmin at the agreed time and saw the four friends already sitting together and
chatting. Zhongli thought they all had a solemn look on their face, but then again, he could have
been mistaken. Xiangling looked up, made eye contact with him, and stood up from her chair to
start waving furiously with a wide smile across her face.

“Mr. Zhongli,” she called with a wide smile, “over here! Hi!”

“Hello, Zhongli!” Xingqiu smiled as Zhongli made his way to their table. “It’s good to see you
again!”

“Hiya, Zhongli!” Hu Tao sang. “Glad you could make it!”

“It’s good to be in your company again,” Chongyun nodded as he took his seat.

“Hello everyone,” Zhongli smiled softly. “Thank you all for inviting me-”

“And the gang’s all here!” Chef Mao cheered, walking up to their table with a wide smile and a
notepad in his hand. “Now, what will you be eating, or do you still need another minute?”
Everyone’s attention turned to Zhongli and he shifted in his seat a little.

“I can order now,” he decided. “I’m interested in trying the crystal shrimp.”

“And I the same!” Xingqiu declared.

“Anything that isn’t spicy,” Chongyun mumbled, checking his pouch as if to make sure he still had
a popsicle.

“Some white tea and Universal Peace for me,” Hu Tao hummed, “and the same tea for Zhongli.”

“White tea does not pair well with-”

“And I’ll have the black perch stew!” Xiangling interrupted. “Thank you, Chef!”

“Anything for my precious Xiangling and her friends,” Chef Mao smiled as Xiangling rolled her
eyes with a smile. “Coming right up, make yourselves at home! You’re at it, anyway!”

Those words made Zhongli smile a little as a waiter brought glasses of iced water to everyone. “So
Zhongli,” Xingqiu smiled, directing his attention back to him, “what’s been going on this past
week? I haven’t seen you lately.”

Zhongli thought through what he could say for a moment before speaking. “Not much,” he settled
with saying. “Work, mostly.” The four of them went quiet and Zhongli furrowed his eyebrows as
he studied their downcast expressions. “Is something the matter?”

“We’re worried about you!” Xiangling suddenly blurted. “Mr. Zhongli, you looked so sad earlier
and you haven’t stopped by to eat in a week! That’s so unlike you! You usually come all the time
when I’m cooking! What’s wrong?”

“Xiangling,” Chongyun frowned, “we said we weren’t going to gang up on him.”

“Sorry,” she apologized quickly, “I’m just so scared for him!”

“What’s going on?” Zhongli asked slowly. “Gang up? Is there something you need from me?”

“We invited you to dinner because we’re, like Xiangling said,” Hu Tao began, nodding in her
direction, “really worried about you, Zhongli. Even at work you look like you’re just going
through the motions. You’ve been different for the past few weeks, but this one you seemed… still
seem like a completely different person. We want you to know we’re here for you and… If you
don’t mind telling us what’s wrong, we’ll help you with anything you need.”

“Exactly as she said,” Xingqiu nodded. “Zhongli Xiansheng, you’re a wonderful friend. I wish to
see you faring well. Even I have noticed the difference in your behavior. You even move with less
motivation, say less... and it worries me. It worries all of us.”

“Xingqiu has voiced his worries for you to me,” Chongyun said, taking a sip of his water. “We all
wish you well, and my demon expelling skills may prove to be of use if it is relevant to the issue.”

Zhongli looked at all of their faces, full of care and concern, and felt strangely appreciated despite
the solemn atmosphere around them. He sighed and gave them a small smile. “Thank you all for
your kindness,” he gestured to everyone around him. “It truly means so much to me that you have
taken the time to treat me to a meal. That being said… I apologize if you have done so solely to
listen to my problems. I do not wish to burden any of you-”

“It’s not a burden!” Xiangling exclaimed quickly. “Mr. Zhongli… You have done so much for all
of us.” The others nodded their heads in agreement at this and Zhongli looked to the side, suddenly
feeling a little flustered. “Helping you the least we can do to say thank you. You don’t have to tell
us anything you’re not comfortable with, but it would probably make you feel better if you did.”

“And you’d be better at work!” Hu Tao chimed in, thanking the waiter for her tea and gulping
down the whole cup at once in blasphemy. Zhongli nodded in thanks when his own tea was set
down, even though he didn’t plan on drinking it. “We only have so much time-”

“Maybe now isn’t the time to joke,” Chongyun reminded her with a small nudge.

“Yeah, maybe not now,” Xingqiu agreed as he took back the arm Chongyun used to nudge Hu Tao
and held it tightly, flushing his side with his and earning a soft blush from Chongyun.

“You’re right,” Hu Tao admitted quietly with a small nod before directing her attention to Zhongli
again. “I’m just worried for you, Zhongli. You’re never like this and we really want to help you.
Like Xiangling said, it’s the least we can do.”

Zhongli considered her words for a moment. “I feel silly voicing my problems,” he admitted
quietly. “I tend to take care of most things on my own, so I am not used to this.”

“Would you think it silly if we came to you for help?” Xingqiu asked and Zhongli shook his head
instantly.

“Of course not. I am always more than happy to give others advice on anything at all.”

“It’s the same for us,” Chongyun added like he knew exactly what Xingqiu wanted to say. They
were such a perfect and lovely pair, Zhongli thought quietly to himself. “You’re happy to help us,
and we’re happy to help you. Again, if you’re not comfortable saying anything it’s okay. There’s
no pressure at all to do anything.”

“We don’t want to crowd up on you and make you feel pressured to share anything more than what
you’re comfortable with us knowing,” Hu Tao smiled gently. “We just care about you, want to see
you happy again, and make sure you know we all love you. Even if you think it’d make you feel
better if you just enjoyed tonight, that’d be okay with all of us. We really want you to know we’re
all here for you no matter what.”

Zhongli finally nodded and the group released an audible breath. “You are correct,” he admitted.
“Thank you all. If you truly do not mind me saying, I… had a quarrel of my own.”

“What happened?” Xiangling asked with a small frown.

“Was it the same guy you said you loved?” Hu Tao asked slowly, furrowing her brows.

“Zhongli is in love?” Xingqiu suddenly exclaimed to be shushed gently by Chongyun. He muttered

an apology and relaxed in his seat again.

“It’s the same man,” Zhongli mumbled. “The afternoon I was an hour late, I went by his… I went
to see him to give him a gift and discovered-” He stopped himself. “My apologies. I do not want to
reveal too much.”

“Was he cheating on you?” Xiangling trembled in a small voice. She looked like she was on the
verge of tears and Zhongli’s stomach sank.

“No,” Zhongli sighed. “Even if he was with someone else, it wouldn’t have been a problem. We
established that were- ah… We established we had a casual relationship beforehand. I just… I
discovered something about his intentions... I am saying too much.”

“You can say as much as you are comfortable saying,” Hu Tao reminded, reaching out to softly
take Zhongli’s hand in her own and hold it. She ran a thumb over his palm and Zhongli’s pacing
heart slowed a little and he felt his shoulders relax.

“His reasons for being in contact with me were… They were painful,” Zhongli continued quietly.
“I feel so much for him and discovered he wasn’t spending time with me because he enjoyed my
company, but because he wanted... other things.” Zhongli realized how that statement sounded
when he saw how all of their eyes widened and Hu Tao squeezed his hand a little tighter. “Sorry,
that may have been too much information-”

“The fucking asshole!” Hu Tao suddenly exclaimed, earning a few stares their way again.
“Zhongli, if he made you do anything you didn’t want to I swear to fucking Celestia I-”

“It wasn’t too much information!” Xingqiu reassured quickly before Hu Tao could finish her
sentence. “You didn’t say too much. We’re here to listen. Please continue.”

Zhongli ran his free finger over the rim of his own cup, felt his eyes sting, and pressed his lips
together to try and maintain his composure. “I confronted him about it later that night and asked
him to admit why he wanted to… spend time with me. He told me it was because he… loved me…
and I became angry. I said a lot of horrible things to him that I regret, but… For him to continue to
try and get those… things out of me…”

“What things?” Xiangling asked slowly.

“I do not feel comfortable saying,” Zhongli responded quietly.

“Zhongli,” Hu Tao began again, “he didn’t… you know… try to pressure you into doing anything
you didn’t want to… right?”

It took a moment before Zhongli understood what she was saying. “Heavens, no,” he affirmed with
a shake of his head. “Goodness gracious me, nothing like that.” Hu Tao sighed and leaned back
into her chair and Zhongli felt even smaller than he did before.

“Then,” Hu Tao asked softly, “what did he…”

“I don’t feel comfortable saying,” Zhongli stated again, squeezing Hu Tao’s hand back lightly,
“but he never did anything directly to me that was harmful. It was just his intentions that-”

“How do you know he’s lying?” Chongyun suddenly blurted. Zhongli turned his gaze to him.

“I overheard him say what he wanted from me to someone else. There can’t be a mistake… Can
there?”

“Well… When Xingqiu and I had our fight,” Chongyun began, lightly squeezing Xingqiu’s arm
and scooting a little closer as if to silently apologize again, “I said I had no feelings for him
because I was scared of my condition spiraling out of control. I lied because I was afraid of the
truth. If the man you said you love said to someone else he wanted just… uh… whatever he
wanted you for because he was scared of admitting the truth to him, whether it was because he was
embarrassed or anything else… That probably doesn't make much sense and I don’t fully
understand your situation, but do you get at all what I am trying to say?”

Zhongli thought on his words for a moment. “You think… he wasn’t lying when he confessed and
was just afraid to be true to himself when I overheard him?”

“Is it a possibility?” Xingqiu asked.

Zhongli leaned back in his chair. Suddenly, everything made sense. The dancing, the smiles, the
small things he said, his little touches, his little kisses, the invites he gave him outside of what was
required, his tears, his confession, everything started to unfold.

Of course he would say it was all for his assignment when reporting to the Fatui. What did he
expect him to do, declare his feelings to the ones that assigned him with his assignment? Even if it
started out as simply a job, did he not see the weight on Ajax’s shoulders when he came back from
work? Did he not hold him as he cried and comforted Ajax when he asked Zhongli to cut contact
because of a terrible thing he did? Did he not hear what Ajax said that last morning they woke up
together?

“I can keep kissing your head and you can just sleep. Nothing bad could ever happen to us and I
could just forget everything again. And when you wake up we can just cuddle until we fall asleep
again and never have to leave. Wouldn’t that be so nice? Wouldn’t you like that, love? Wouldn't
you like to just keep sleeping here? Is this ok?”

He could still hear him whisper that and lightly kiss his head as he slept. There was no way those
words were to help him reach his goal, and they must have served no purpose other than to
communicate what they meant. And when the agent he was conversing with said he hadn’t
reported in so long, why didn’t he think anything of that? Ajax was efficient with everything he did,
after all. Why didn’t he think anything of those words and all the other ones too? Why didn’t he…
Why couldn’t he…

Zhongli felt like a fucking idiot. He felt like the worst idiot to walk this world. He couldn’t stop the
tears that started to fall from his eyes as he thought of all the things he said to him. Such horrible,
horrible things he said to him. He hid his face in his hands, letting go of Hu Tao’s, and felt the
worst shame he ever felt wash over him too strongly.

Why didn’t he just listen? Why did he have to blow up like that? What a terrible thing for him to
do-

“Hey, it’s okay, Zhongli.” Xiangling’s shaky and sniffling voice interrupted his thoughts as he felt
a soft caress on his arm.

“Why are you crying?” Hu Tao asked, taking his hand in her own again and pulling it away from
his face. Zhongli let her and didn’t fight back at all, too weak to do even that. “It’s alright. You
don’t have to cry. We’re here for you.”

“Xiangsheng, don’t worry. It’ll be okay,” Xingqiu smiled gently as he clasped his hand along with
Hu Tao. Chongyun followed suit while Zhongli continued to cry in his other hand, trying his best
to muffle the sounds of his quiet sobs and still the shake of his shoulders as he was overwhelmed
with guilt, intense love from his friends, and this terrible epiphany.

“Please don’t stress too much, Zhongli,” Chongyun soothed gently. “We will do all that we can to
help you through this.”

“Thank you,” Zhongli trembled. “Chongyun, I believe you are right. I should’ve seen it before, but
I was just so angry when I found out. I wish I could’ve controlled my emotions or just listened at
least… I… said such horrible things to him when he confessed his feelings that I wish I could take
back and I wish… Such horrible things.”

“You still can,” Xingqiu smiled softly. Zhongli looked up to him with puffy eyes and confusion.
“Do you remember the advice you gave me?”

Zhongli’s mind was too overwhelmed to think clearly, so he just shook his head.

“There’s never a perfect time,” Chongyun recalled. Suddenly, Hu Tao’s expression lit up and she
gasped loudly.

“That’s what he meant by that!” She exclaimed loudly. “Zhongli, you need to go over there,
apologize, and listen to him! Unless the two of you talk, you’ll never know anything about what
his real intentions were. Maybe he really did have feelings too! You two have to talk to each other
or it’ll never get better! There’s never a perfect time to apologize and fix this! By Gods, that’s right
isn't it?!”

“R-right,” Xiangling agreed, wiping the tears from her eyes with a sniffle. “Go over there, Zhongli!
Tell him you love him a-and that you’re sorry for what you said or so help me! I'll put seafood in
your orders forever if you don’t!”

“Maybe ask why he did the things he did,” Chongyun reminded. “You should get an understanding
of one another and both apologize. Even though you said bad things to him like you said, he still
hurt you and you deserve an explanation.”

“Go right now!” Xingqiu smiled wider and hit the table lightly with his free hand in emphasis.
“Don’t wait for another moment! Seize this opportunity!”

“I think I would like to prepare what I will say beforehand,” Zhongli nodded, wiping his tear-
stained face and finally giving a small smile, “but I will certainly go. Thank you all again.”
“Food’s here!” Xiangling suddenly cheered. The four friends let out a hurrah as Chef Mao set their
orders on the table with a smile and pat on Zhongli’s shoulders. That smile was supportive too, and
it made Zhongli feel all the more loved.

It wasn’t love like how he felt with Ajax, but a familial love that made him feel like everything just
might be okay. When he tasted the food that felt like it was prepared with just a little more effort
and caught the smiles that flashed his way, he knew no matter what, he’d have something to come
back to.

Then he knew he wanted to be that for Ajax. He wanted to be that unwavering support and he
wanted to be that love. Not just romantic, not just sexual, but also the love that filled your heart
completely and made you feel valued and a part of something you can always rely on and trust to
support you no matter what.

He missed him. Even surrounded by this love, he missed him so much. That’s how he knew they
were right.

___

Zhongli walked into his apartment and set his keys on the tray by the door before closing it behind
him. He felt exhausted from staying out so late. Right when he was about to leave to get some rest
several hours ago, Hu Tao exclaimed that she was giving him the next day off to sort everything
out and kept buying him delicious food and tea. Chef Mao allowed them to stay far past closing
time and continue to spend time together when the closed sign was hanging and all the patrons had
long gone home with a promise from Xiangling that she’d clean up, not without an extra hour of
everyone pitching in to help her. He let out a small groan from the queasiness of eating too much
and slumped into the nearest chair he could find.

He thought about getting up to grab some water for himself, but he felt a great weight that kept him
from moving. Now that he was alone again, he felt… It was as if he was sad, but not quite. It was
different, some kind of emptiness that left him without any energy or motivation to even stand.
Zhongli buried his head in his hands and sighed.

He said he wanted to prepare for seeing Ajax again, but he didn’t know how. What should he say?
What should he do? What were the appropriate gifts to give him to apologize, or should he give
any at all?

Zhongli’s eyes fell on the radio sitting on the kitchen table. He wondered if Ajax noticed it was
missing still, but he never did come by to pick it up. Of course, he didn’t think he would.

Maybe… he should return it the next time he saw him. The next time…

He felt scared. He knew it was the right thing to do, but… Just…

Ajax said he wanted to listen to music on it and see what was his favorite. If he listened to him,
would they have danced together again? He missed the way his hand fit in his and the rhythm of
his movements as they glided together. Zhongli felt another sharp stab of longing that morphed
into pain strike his gut that made his vision blurry and his head feel stuffy.

He wondered what music he had in the radio. Zhongli was sure anything he picked out would be
nothing short of perfect. He picked it up and inspected the buttons and dials on the top, found one
that had a sideways triangle on it, and without thinking too much on his actions, pressed it.
Immediately, a loud chime of music ripped through the speakers and bounced around the room
while Zhongli desperately tried to find a way to turn the volume down, muttering words he wasn’t
thinking too much about to himself and inspecting the device further.

“Don’t mind feeling,” the radio sang in a solemn voice, “where don’t we try…”

Zhongli finally found a knob that quieted the music and sighed in relief when the volume
decreased. Like he didn’t give his neighbors enough to worry about.

“Here there’s meaning, why don’t we fly?”

He was surprised no one filed a noise complaint yet, considering how loud he and Ajax were when
they were together. That was another thing he missed. Everything was so full of action and
electricity when Ajax was over, no matter what they were doing. Even the little moments full of
jokes and laughter made everything feel so much brighter.

“Didn’t really want to wait on your return.”

This wasn’t a bad song. Now that it was quiet, it was peaceful, flowy, and made him feel as if he
was gliding in a sea of clouds. He wondered how he and Ajax would drift along if this song played
in his company.

“Snow-white cases, out of our time…”

He really missed him.

“Some way paid them, some will lose light… Did you really think I’d wait on your return?”

Did he want to wait? He felt as if Ajax would never come by himself.

“Whether, and their trouble, without the need of you, don’t you realize?”

Maybe… There was never a perfect time and he’d never think of the perfect thing to say and do
when he saw him again.

“I can barely stand to wait on your return...”

This song was right, everyone was right. If he didn’t go now, he’d never have the strength to again.
He knew he only excused not leaving immediately because he was afraid, but he was tired of being
that now.

He looked at the clock on the wall. 11:46, it read. It was far too late to run over there, but there
was never a perfect time. There was… never a perfect time. What would he prepare for? What was
there to prepare for?

“I can barely stand to wait on your return.”

There was no reason to wait, he decided as the music began to slowly swell into a forte.

“Fuck it,” Zhongli exclaimed to himself, standing up in his chair. Something in him made him feel
like he needed to go right now or it would be too late. What would be, he didn’t know, but it was
important. The feeling of having to go immediately only grew as he collected himself and pushed
the chair back into the table.
He needed to talk to him, needed it more than anything. He felt like he would die if he didn’t see
his face again, no matter what the situation was. He wanted to see that smile, hear that laugh, kiss
his tears away, anything at all. He needed him and he still loved him, loved him so, so much.

Zhongli grabbed the radio, turned it off, and walked out the door without a second thought. There
was never a perfect time for anything, even fixing mistakes.

___

Zhongli was walking down the familiar hallways leading up to Ajax’s apartment with shaky hands
that were gripping the radio so tightly he was surprised it didn’t break. He focused on steadying his
breathing as he walked down the corridors that were still far too long.

He remembered his apartment number still. It was something he couldn’t forget even if he tried.
Zhongli reached the door and stood in front of it after an eternity of wandering through the
darkness of the hallways, barely looking at what was in front of him and thinking of what he was
doing when he reached a fist up to knock and sucked the air in between his teeth to bite back his
growing anxiety.

The door suddenly flung open so quickly Zhongli barely registered what happened before he
locked eyes with Ajax, holding a water blade up in the air in a winded attack and a dead look in his
eyes, those blue eyes. He… fuck he missed those eyes. He nearly forgot how breathless he became
when he locked his own with them. After a moment, Ajax visibly relaxed and released a breath, the
blade vanishing and his arm returning to his side. Zhongli choked on air as he continued to stare
into those sea-like eyes he missed looking at for so long, mind blanking and unable to think of
anything to say. Anything, anything at all. He was here in the middle of the night at his apartment
after that fight, so he can’t just stand here.

Ajax looked nothing short of rough. His hair was unorganized, dark circles hanging around his
eyes, t-shirt stained a little, and sweatpants hanging loosely around his frame. Zhongli could see the
color of drunkenness in his cheeks, how his lids were closed halfway, and his bruised knuckles
turned white as he gripped the frame of the doorway. He slumped over a little, letting out a soft
huff, eyeing Zhongli up and down wordlessly with a blank expression. Zhongli opened his mouth,
choking on air again, and cursing himself for not saying anything yet.

“Thank the Gods,” Ajax slurred before Zhongli could speak. “I thought I would have to clear my
whole fuckin’ apartment to get drunk. Lucky me, it happened early. Come in.”

Zhongli hesitated before following Ajax inside, gently closing the door behind him while Ajax sat
back down on the stools by his kitchen counter. The first thing Zhongli noticed when he bent down
to take off his shoes was the crunch of glass under his feet and the absolute mess of his apartment.
There were piles of tracked-in dirt, trash, and crystal shards stretching all over the floor, a few
bottles laid out on the counter, and dishes piled so high Zhongli could barely see where the pile
started. The counters were stained and smelled all the way from here, and stove eyes blackened.
Ajax was drinking straight from the bottle on the counter, not looking back at him and keeping his
eyes forward. From all the full ones set out, Zhongli could see the only one touched was the one he
was drinking out of, about a quarter’s way empty, and he sighed in relief when he saw there were
no other empty ones in sight.

“What happened here?” Zhongli managed to croak. Ajax looked at him for a moment before
turning his gaze back to the wall.

“Threw a tantrum last week,” he grumbled. His words were coherent but still drowned when
Zhongli listened to his tone. “Didn’t really feel like cleaning it up.”

“What are you doing?” Zhongli asked weakly as Ajax tossed his head back again to down another
gulp. “That can’t be healthy. You said you’d stop a while back-”

“I’m obviously trying to get shitfaced,” Ajax snapped. “And did pretty fast, looks like it. Wouldn’t
be seeing you around otherwise.”

Zhongli stared at him, words slowly registering. “I’m… really here,” he mumbled weakly.

“Mhm, sure. Yeah.”

Silence fell between the two of them. “Do you still have the tea I bought you?” Zhongli finally
managed to ask. Ajax lazily motioned to a cabinet before swinging back more drink. Zhongli
ignored the feeling of glass crinkling under his shoes as he made his way next to him, took the
bottle from his hands, and pushed it out of reach along with all the other ones. When Ajax leaned
over to grab it again, Zhongli stopped him with a snatch away, carried as much as he could in his
arms, and brought them to the already full trash can, throwing them in and pushing it down so it’d
all fit.

“Hey,” Ajax grumbled.

Zhongli couldn’t think of anything to say as he walked to the cabinet and pulled it open, fumbling
through the junk inside and finally pulling out the sobering tea, so he rambled whatever he could
think of. “You can’t relapse now after making that promise,” he found himself lecturing as he
pushed some dishes in the sink aside to fill a kettle lazily set on top of the stove with water. “You
decided you’d stop some time ago. You aren’t one to go back on your word, Ajax.” Zhongli’s
words settled after it was too late to take them back. “Apologies. I don’t want to… make it look
like I am mocking you. I’m s-sorry, that wasn’t my intention in the slightest.”

“Why are you here, anyway?”

“I came to return your radio,” Zhongli mumbled as he set the kettle aside. He pulled open a few
drawers until he found a dishcloth, wet it, and started to wipe the stove down to clean it as much as
he could before turning it on and setting the kettle over an eye. “I also wanted to talk to you since I
didn’t last time I saw you. Where is your broom closet?”

“Over there somewhere,” Ajax mumbled, waving off to the side. “Zhongli... You can’t show up in
my dreams and do nice things like I deserve to see you one last time.”

“How long have you been alone?” Zhongli asked, unable to hide the concern in his voice as he
walked to the closet, grabbed a broom, and started sweeping the glass and rubbish aside while the
water heated.

“Aether won’t let me be,” Ajax grumbled. “Little shit shows up everywhere I go. ‘How are you
feeling?’ ‘Anything I can help you with?’ ‘You haven’t hurt yourself again, have you?’ ‘Why don’t
you come travel with me and Paimon?’ ‘What happened between you and Zhongli?’ ‘What have
you been doing-’”

“Have you hurt yourself?”

Ajax paused while Zhongli swept around his feet, collecting all the trash in a pile. “Ajax,” he asked
again, voice shaking and movements stuttering, “you haven’t hurt yourself, have you?”

“N-no.”

Zhongli pressed his lips together as he finished sweeping as much as he could. He walked to the
trash can, brought it to the pile, and started disposing of it. “Ajax,” he trembled, “have you?”

He wished he knew what he was supposed to say. The kettle was beginning to steam just the right
amount, so he walked to it and took it off the eye. He opened the cup cabinet to discover most of
them missing, bit back the question, and grabbed a mug when he decided the floors were clean
enough for now. He placed the teabag inside, poured the correct amount, and mentally began to
count to when it would be done seeping.

“Just drinking,” Ajax finally shook. “I feel… too bad when I do anything else, so I don’t do it
anymore. Isn’t good… if T-Teucer saw me with… Can’t have him see that, but… He didn’t have…
Wouldn’t have to if-”

“Did you?”

Ajax rested his forehead on the ball of his hand. “Cut my palms during my tantrum,” he mumbled.
“Almost… did s-something then. Wanted to before and kinda do now but… Aether won’t leave me
alone. Can’t with him always on my ass. He saw some c-cuts on my arm later and told me to stop
or he’d get more help, so I didn’t… haven’t lately.”

Zhongli was quiet, trying to think of anything he could say to comfort him. Anything at all. When
he couldn’t think of what he was supposed to say, he turned around to the dishes and began to wash
them. “Don’t do that,” Zhongli trembled, eyes glazing over his sight as he scrubbed a plate and put
it aside to dry and the sound of the faucet running echoing across the walls. “You should take care
of yourself, Ajax. L-Look at this mess.” He found himself laughing a little and wondered how
wrong of him that was. “I can’t always clean this for you… You should… You should take care of
yourself. D-Don’t do that. You shouldn’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“It’s just not good for you,” Zhongli choked. “You shouldn’t be doing that.”

“I’m not gonna listen to brain Zhongli,” Ajax declared in a drawl. “What if I didn’t and just died
like I was gonna, huh? Fake Zhongli would disappear, and there would be no one else to fuss at
me. And I wouldn’t have to worry about what the family thinks-”

“I’m right here.”

“Don't believe you.”

Zhongli stopped doing dishes to take the teabag out of Ajax’s cup, handed it to him, and took the
damp washcloth to wipe the counters around the sink. “You’re drunk. Drink the tea.”

“I’m not gonna drink fake tea.”

“D-Drink it, Ajax.”

When Zhongli saw him take a small sip and close his eyes, Zhongli went back to doing the dishes.
“I’m worried for you,” Zhongli found himself saying as he started scrubbing more plates with a
little too much force and neatly stacked them to the side. “I sh- I should’ve been there more in the
past. There were so many times I-I could have… I- uh… When you cried in front of me I didn’t
mention it again, I should have… I shouldn’t be talking about myself right now. I…” Zhongli
paused his movements and Ajax was silent. “I’m sorry,” he croaked. “I’m so sorry. D-Don’t hurt
yourself. You deserve so much better than to hurt yourself. A-And don’t say things about dying,
and d-don't…” Zhongli brought a hand to his face to hide his suddenly stuffy and stinging eyes that
were blurring his vision. This wasn’t about him, so he couldn’t show how much his words pained
him to hear. “D-Don’t do anything to hurt yourself. Your family needs you, s-so many people
love… So many people care for you. I know it’s hard right now, and I’m so… I’m so sorry it is. Y-
you can talk about it. I’ll listen, I promise to listen. I should have listened before-”

“Zhongli?”

Zhongli turned around to Ajax looking at him with slightly bigger eyes and a half-empty cup. “Are
you really there?” Ajax asked in a small and clearer voice.

“I’m right here.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Zhongli set down the plate he was holding, walked next to Ajax, and sat beside him. “I’m right
here,” he repeated, cursing himself for how weak his voice sounded.

“N-No you’re not.”

Zhongli gently grabbed Ajax’s free hand and squeezed it a little. “I’m right here,” he choked with a
voice crack cutting through his words. Ajax slowly brought that hand up, intertwining his fingers
with Zhongli’s, to Zhongli’s face and he stood still as the back of it softly rubbed against his cheek.
Ajax’s face fell into a strained expression and his eyes became glassy and red. “Please finish
drinking your tea, Ajax.”

Ajax kept staring at him and inhaled in a sniffle, a few tears slipping down his face and his lip
trembling. “Ajax… please drink your tea,” Zhongli managed again, his plea sounding desperate.

“Why are you doing this?” Ajax trembled. “Y-You can’t be doing anything for me.”

“Drink your tea, pl-pleas… Please drink your tea.”

Ajax shot back the rest of his cup quickly before slamming it down on the counter again. They sat
in silence for a while, neither of them moving. Ajax’s hand was still against Zhongli’s face and he
couldn’t help but lean into it. Ajax shifted a little at this, but didn’t move it away and looked down
at the counter.

“Thank you for returning the radio and for making me tea,” Ajax finally managed, voice hoarse
and strained. “And thank you for cleaning up a little. You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want
to. I don’t expect anything from you and…” Ajax slowly pulled his hand away and hid his face in
it. “I don’t expect you to forgive me or anything. I know what I did is inexcusable. You don’t owe
me anything and you don’t need to apologize for anything. You… listened to me in the past and
that’s all I asked of you. Don’t feel bad for me and don’t say you should’ve done anything. None of
this is your fault.” Ajax sighed and turned his head away further. “I hope… getting everything back
will make things a little better if it ends up happening. It’d be best if you left and didn’t talk to me
anymore.”

“I came here to talk to you,” Zhongli said quietly. “I’m… I’m truly sorry for everything I said. I
want to listen to you now since I didn’t before. I said some awful things that hurt you and I want to
make it right in any way I can-”
“Don’t be sorry,” Ajax suddenly hissed. “Don’t apologize, neither of us should. You have nothing
to be sorry for and I can’t change anything by saying a few words. I-I… I’m going to hurt you even
more if you don’t cut contact with me now, s-so you need to just leave. You’d be better off without
me.”

“What do you mean?” Ajax was quiet. “Let me get you some water, you’ll sober up completely if
you have some,” Zhongli trembled, mostly just to fill the silence, standing up to grab a cup he
recently cleaned from the side of the sink and filled it in the still running sink. After handing it to
Ajax, he worked on cleaning the dishes again. “Goodness at this mess… You really should take
care of yourself.”

“Y-You don’t get it. You need to leave. I can’t… You can’t be here right now. This isn’t a good
time, I was… You j-just can’t be here right now.”

“Let… Let me finish with these dishes for you at least, please-”

“The artifacts didn’t work,” Ajax suddenly blurted. “The Tsaritsa thinks it’s because they were
away from their owners and they were the source of power. So I need to find where their owners
are resting, get their gnosises or whatever other… fucking…. I don’t even know, thing they have,
and send it to her. I have two months or they’ll… They’ll stop taking care of my family when I’m
deployed. So you have to leave so I d-don’t… so I can’t hurt you or anyone anymore.”

Zhongli thought on his words as he finished washing the last few dishes in the sink. “What if you
can’t complete your assignment?” Zhongli finally asked.

“Then they’ll stop giving benefits to my family and I’ll be punished.” Such a vague sentence, but
the way he said it showed Zhongli just how much weight it held. Zhongli set the last cup aside,
rising the sink out and scrubbing it clean before wiping down the rest of the counters with the same
damp dishcloth. He wondered if he’d have enough time to mop and take out the trash.

“What if I tell you everything you need to know, then?”

Ajax slowly looked up with a confused face. “What?”

“Drink your water, Ajax. You’ll feel better.” Ajax hesitated his movements before bringing the
water to his lips and sipping it. “Gods are immortal,” Zhongli began as he worked on a particularly
stubborn stain and continued scrubbing the surfaces when it was taken care of. “They are not
resting as corpses, but vengeful and aware spirits. None of the gods who fell during the archon war
have a gnosis. That is something only the Seven have. So, their only source of power is their
vessel, or their very being. Unless you plan on shipping entire vengeful gods to Snezhnaya, there’s
no way to obtain their power sources.”

Ajax blinked. “If I have proof that that’s true,” he said slowly as he drank the rest of his water,
“they’d drop the assignment. It’d be… It was a waste of time.”

“Would you be punished for it?”

“No. I’d be rewarded for my work. It’s happened before when something didn’t happen to plan.
They’d probably have me make a replica… of something or…” Ajax began to laugh, a soft chuckle
slowly turning into a loud cackle while Zhongli watched him throw his head back. Something
about his laughs sounded painful in a way Zhongli couldn’t describe.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli asked softly.

“I would’ve kept it up and it would be useless to!” Childe roared. “Haha! There’s no point in
anything! Everything I ever did is useless! What a fucking obvious solution to all of this! I
could’ve fucking figured that out and none of this would’ve happened! F-Fuck, if I asked about the
gods themselves I wouldn’t have done all that shit I did! Pointless! Fuck, it’s all pointless!
Everything I d-do is… pointless…”

He began to cry again and Zhongli sat back down with him. “I’m sorry,” Ajax whimpered. “Z-
Zhongli, I’m s-so sorry. I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry, I…”

His words trailed off when Zhongli pulled him into a hug. “It’s okay,” he whispered softly. “It’s
okay, Ajax.”

“No, it’s not,” Ajax hissed, keeping his arms by his side while Zhongli held him tighter. “I did that
horrible thing to you. Y-You’re supposed to hate me a-and never talk to me again. It’d be better if
you didn’t have to. A-All I do is hurt people. I hurt you, I make Aether worry, I -”

“You don’t… Don’t say that,” Zhongli said firmly. “I should apologize to you properly. Ajax, I
didn’t listen to you when you tried to explain and was cruel in my words and actions. I’m sorry for
never being there for you as much as I should have been. Please accept my apology, I promise to
be more supportive in the future if you would allow me.”

Ajax cried harder and buried his head in his chest. “D-Don’t forgive me,” he blubbered. “You c-
can’t. You d-don’t have a reason to.”

“I’ve forgiven you a while ago,” Zhongli whispered, moving a hand up to softly pet his hair, “and I
hope you can forgive me too.”

“I’m n-not mad at you at all, Zhongli. So… So don’t say you’re sorry. You don’t have a reason to
be sorry and you don’t have a reason to forgive me.”

“I do have a reason,” Zhongli found himself saying, “but even if I didn’t, you deserve to be
forgiven. I can see how much pain you’re in, you deserve better than this-”

“No, you d-don’t have a reason. You c-can’t possibly have a reason. You can’t forgive me,
Zhongli. I know you don’t care, so don’t say you-”

“Of course I care,” Zhongli firmly interrupted. “What a horrible thing to say about yourself. You
deserve so much more than what you are telling yourself you are.”

“E-Even if you did,” Ajax blubbered weakly, “you couldn’t care about me the way I care about
you.”

If all the evidence wasn’t already piled up before Zhongli that Ajax didn’t lie that time, it was
solidified now. Zhongli drew in a breath, unsure if these waves of emotions were further guilt for
not listening to him, joy that Ajax really did feel the same, or something he had yet to learn about.

“I do,” Zhongli shook softly. “I care about you in every way imaginable.”

“You can’t possibly-”

“I love you, Ajax,” Zhongli blurted before he stopped himself. Ajax tensed up in his arms, sobs
going silent, and spoke before Zhongli could apologize.

“Don’t say that,” Ajax mumbled. “You can’t say things that aren’t true.”

“It’s always been the truth,” Zhongli whispered shakily. Ajax lifted his head up, a frantic look in
his eyes as he shook his head.

“N-No, you can’t . You can’t say that. I-If you say things like that… Zhongli, just don’t say that.
There’s no way you do.”

Zhongli reached to grab Ajax’s hands and was met with them being jerked away. “No! D-Don’t
touch me!” Ajax exclaimed, eyes wide and lip trembling. “S-Stop saying that stuff! You can’t go
saying that stuff to me! If you do- Zhongli, if you say you l-love me, then I’ll… I’ll think you
actually-”

“Can we please talk?” Zhongli pleaded, holding his hands out like Ajax would reach for them. “I
miss you, Ajax! Even if we’re just friends… Even if we’re just on speaking terms it’ll be enough
for me! We can put everything in the past if you want, I just want to talk to you and make sure
you’re okay! Y-You’re scaring me so much with the things you’re saying!”

“Why do you want that?! You should be leaving! You should still be mad at me! I’ve done nothing
to deserve you saying that! Don’t say that stuff just to make me feel better! Why are you-”

“Because I love you!” Zhongli exclaimed again. “I love you more than I can handle! It doesn't
matter if it’s how we did when we first met or before all of this happened, I just want to be with
you again!”

Silence fell between the two of them again and a weight settled in Zhongli’s gut as he processed his
words. “M-My emotions got the better of me again,” he trembled. “I’m sorry for yelling at you and
I’m sorry for saying too much. That was far out of line of me to do. I don’t expect anything from
you and still want to be able to talk and amend our relationship despite my feelings… Or, that may
be too selfish of me to... ask...”

His words trailed off when they made eye contact again. Ajax was staring at him with wide and
beautiful eyes and Zhongli felt everything melt into them. Ajax’s hand moved up to his face, so
slowly it was as if it was afraid he would jump away, then caressed his cheek with a thumb.
Zhongli closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, biting his lip to hold his emotions back so he
wouldn’t start sobbing right then and there.

“You can’t say things like that,” Ajax whispered. Zhongli held his hand in place, pressing it against
his cheek a little harder. “I’ll think you actually love me if you say things like that.”

“I’m sorry-”

“N-No, don’t be sorry. Don’t… be…” Ajax trailed off from his words as he slowly leaned in
closer. Zhongli could feel his eyes flickering over his face, looking for any trace of a lie in
desperation. “Don’t be sorry,” Ajax whispered so softly his lips barely moved. “You didn’t do
anything wrong.”

“I’m not lying to you,” Zhongli whispered. “I… I really love you.”

“If you…” Ajax was still slowly leaning in, eyes half-lidded and thumb still trailing across his
cheek. “If you say that… I… just might…” Zhongli drew in a breath, lids becoming heavy as he
felt Ajax’s warm breath slowly trail closer to his skin.

Zhongli felt the world fade away as their lips met.

He involuntarily sighed in relief from finally kissing him and melted into it, holding Ajax’s face in
his hands and pushing in closer to taste him more intimately. He missed this. He missed this so
much it didn’t even feel like it was happening, like this was a lovely dream he hoped to never
awake from. Ajax let out a soft sound and wrapped his arms around Zhongli’s neck, soft smacks of
their mouths dancing flooding their ears. Zhongli couldn’t stop a few tears from falling and sniffled
into the kiss, breathing in deeply and smelling that musk he missed so dearly too. Fuck, he missed
him so much, more than he knew.

“Hey,” Ajax’s soft and gentle voice whispered when they broke, “d-don’t cry… Zhongli, don’t
cry…”

Ajax started to kiss the tears that fell from his eyes and Zhongli let out a small whimper, and yet,
he didn’t feel weak. “I love you, Ajax,” Zhongli shook. “I love you more dearly than anything I
have before.”

Ajax kissed his lips again, gently and affectionately. “Really?” Ajax smiled. Finally he was
smiling and it made Zhongli’s heart soar. “Y-You really do?”

“Of course I do. I always have.”

Ajax pulled him in even closer with a small laugh, cupping his face and kissing him so deeply
Zhongli’s world spun in circles. When they parted for a second, Zhongli kissed up his cheeks to
collect Ajax’s own tears that began to fall again to return the gesture, making his laugh a little
louder.

Zhongli kissed his lips again, his so sweet and soft lips. Ajax let out a small whine and opened his
mouth a little wider to silently ask Zhongli to enter it, and Zhongli answered with a smile and
danced his tongue with his. The sweetest thing in the world. Such a beautiful, sweet thing.

“I love you too,” Ajax smiled. With that, Zhongli pulled him in to kiss him deeper and lightly
wiped away his tears with his thumb. That was all he needed to hear. He could live the rest of
eternity on those words.

“Ajax,” Zhongli breathed in between small parts of their lips, “Ajax, I missed you so much…”

“S-Stop being so sweet,” Ajax managed with another small laugh. “You can’t make me any
happier than I already am, dumbass.”

“Am I making you happy? My love, all my adoration is for you. I want you to feel as happy as I do
when I’m with you,” Zhongli whispered. Ajax moved in so close their chests were flushed and
their legs were entangling, slowly sliding to sit in his lap, and let out another whine and held onto
his shoulders tightly.

“Keep calling me love and see what that makes us,” Ajax joked with a broken laugh. “You’re so
cheesy.”

“What would you like us to be?”

Ajax went quiet and looked down. Zhongli gently kissed his forehead and nose and watched as his
face broke into a smile again. “Can I be a little selfish for a second?” Ajax whispered.

“You can be whatever you want.”

Ajax cleared his throat and looked back into his eyes. “Can we… I mean, we just confessed to each
other, so can we be- are we… um… like, b-boyfriends or something?” Ajax went quiet. “S-Sorry,
that’s a selfish thing for me to ask. I don’t expect-“

“Boyfriend is such an immature term. I prefer lover.”

“It’s… Is it too soon?”

“We can do whatever feels right,” Zhongli smiled, kissing a small spot on Ajax’s nose. “If that is
what you want, I would adore being your lover and you mine.”

“I’d like that,” Ajax nodded furiously, squeezing his shoulders a little tighter and smiling widely.
“I’d really… I’d really like that.”

Zhongli studied his expression, still twisted slightly and eyes distant. Zhongli lifted a hand to
lightly caress his cheek, thumb running over it and looking deep into his eyes. “Do you want to talk
about this past week?” he asked gently. “I feel like we should be open with one other.”

“I’m fine now, really-”

“You don’t have to be fine immediately after everything happened.”

Ajax paused, visibly fumbling over his words, then finally sighed and relaxed a little. “You’re
right,” he admitted. “I’m still… I still feel bad about everything. It’s been really rough.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“A little,” Ajax nodded. “I don’t want to relive everything now, but… I do want to talk about it
some.”

“You can tell me as much as you’re comfortable with,” Zhongli assured, continuing to stroke his
cheek with his thumb. “I’m here for you. I promise.”

Ajax nodded again and cast his gaze downward. “I’ve just… been wrestling with myself a lot
lately, and… And it’s so tiring.”

“What do you mean?”

“Y-You’re here now, so it’s okay-”

“Ajax,” Zhongli said firmly but gently, leading his eyes back to meet his own with a small
movement of his hand, “it doesn’t have to all be okay now. You can tell me.”

“I…” Ajax pressed his lips together and released a shaky breath. “I just… I feel like clawing out of
my skin sometimes. I don’t really know how else to describe it. I… I feel like I just burden people
and everyone would be better off if I was…” Ajax shook his head and looked down again. “I still
feel terrible about what I did to you, not just that, but everything. I don’t want to value anyone over
the other people I love, so I s-still don’t know if… My family needs me, and I know we sorted
stuff out and will soon, but… I don’t know if it was right of me still to… I don’t think anything I
ever did was right.”

Zhongli’s eyes stung as he held Ajax closer. “You’re no burden,” he shook. “So many people need
you here, love. You… You’re so much more than what you tell yourself you are. It’s okay now.
I’ll help you with anything you need so… So please believe it’ll be okay.”

“I’m sorry for-”

“No, don’t be sorry,” Zhongli trembled, unable to stop more tears from falling as he laid a gentle
kiss on his cheek. “You have nothing to be sorry for. None of this is your fault. Anyone would be
torn in that situation. It’s okay. I… I need you here, Ajax. I really need you here.”
“I need you here too,” Ajax whispered. “You do so much for me. You don’t even know how much
you being here helps me.”

Zhongli pulled him into a tight embrace and Ajax nuzzled his head in the crook of his neck.
Zhongli felt his breathing slow as he closed his eyes and basked in the warmth of the body in his
arms, the safe body in his arms. “Do you want to talk more?” he asked softly.

“I promise I will,” Ajax smiled. Zhongli could hear his voice slowly becoming steadier which sent
a wave of relief flooding through him. “I want to be here with you now, though. I… I don’t think
I’m ready to relive everything just yet. Thank you for listening to me, I feel a lot better now that
I’m not carrying that with me.” Ajax paused for a moment. “Zhongli… Do you need to talk about
anything?”

Zhongli thought on his words. “I don’t want to make you any more distressed than you are now-”

“Zhongli, you told me I’m not a burden and I’m saying the same thing to you.”

Zhongli nodded slowly. “I don’t really know how to describe it,” he admitted softly. “I… It’s been
hard to even get out of bed sometimes. I find I lost my energy and the enjoyment I used to have. I
was sure it was because I missed you, but, compared to when I missed other people I lost… it was
different.”

“I get that,” Ajax mumbled against his neck, moving in closer. “You’ve spent your energy
worrying and… and feeling bad, so you didn’t have any left to give.”

“That’s… That’s exactly it,” Zhongli whispered. “That’s exactly how I feel.”

“It’s okay to feel like that, and it’s okay to rest.”’

“The same to you.” Zhongli buried his nose in Ajax’s hair, softly smelling the scent he missed for
so long. “Everything feels easier when I’m with you,” he hummed against it.

“I feel the same about you,” Ajax returned. “You saved me by coming here, more than you know
you did. Thank you.”

Zhongli lightly kissed the top of his head and smiled when Ajax returned a pleased hum at the
affection. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked. “I’d like to understand what you mean.”

“When I’m ready to,” Ajax assured again. “I… I just need you here with me now. I promise I’ll
talk to you when I have the strength.”

“I’ll wait until you can,” Zhongli promised in a whisper. “I feel saved by you too. I feel like I have
been wandering in a world of nothing until I came here to talk to you.”

“We need each other, huh?” Ajax laughed.

“I believe we do.”

Ajax lightly trailed his hand down Zhongli’s shoulders and finally pressed it against his chest, not
to push him away but feel him deeper. All the while, Zhongli watched that smile and tried to
memorize every curve of it. He wanted it to fill everything and be all that existed. “I missed you,”
Ajax whispered again, running his hands over Zhongli’s chest and eyes becoming cloudy. “I…
miss feeling you next to me. I really miss feeling you.”

“I’m right here.”

“You are, but I miss…” Ajax trailed off and looked down again. “Sorry,” he sighed. “It isn’t right
of me to hint… It isn’t…. I shouldn’t be thinking about sex right now. You’re probably… I’m sure
you don’t want that right now after everything I did to you-”

“It’s alright.”

Ajax looked back up to him and blinked those long and red eyelashes and Zhongli couldn’t help
but kiss them. “I’d like to show my lover how much I missed him if that’s okay. I… I miss feeling
you intimately as well. I’d like to be as close to you as I can.”

Ajax’s breathing quickened just a little when Zhongli’s lips slowly trailed down from his lashes to
the corner of his mouth. “I missed you too,” Ajax whispered. “I missed you so much, Zhongli.”

Zhongli pressed their lips together again, slowly trailing his hands to the small of his back then
softly licking a stripe down to his jawline. Ajax let out another whine, leaning into the touch and
his hands moving to grip his hair rather than hold his shoulders and tightening his grip when
Zhongli began to lightly suck on his skin.

“Zhongli,” Ajax whispered. “It’s okay? You sure it’s okay? I don’t want to if you don’t want to.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah,” Ajax breathed. “I’d like to.”

“Then it’s okay. May I?” It was such a simple question but he knew Ajax understood when they
met eyes. His expression melted into warmth and growing desire as he nodded, a small smile
crossing his face again.

“Of course you can.”

Zhongli slowly moved out of his seat and Ajax slid off of him, standing up and hooking onto his
arm and nuzzling his face in the crook of his neck. Zhongli felt a purr rumble from his chest as he
leaned into Ajax’s touch and bathed in the warmth of Ajax’s gentle laugh.

“You’re so weird,” Ajax hummed. “You’re like a big cat.”

“Oh? Is that a good thing?”

“Like a big fluffy cat,” Ajax continued to ramble.

“Are you still drunk? If you’re not sober, we shouldn’t-”

“I’m sober now,” Ajax assured. “That tea worked wonders. Where’d you get it?”

“Bubu pharmacy.”

“Sorry,” Ajax apologized quickly. “I’m just stupid from relief and I’m being weird. Honestly, I’m
just so happy to see you and talk to you I don’t know what to do or say.”

“That’s alright,” Zhongli smiled as he led him out of the kitchen and inside the bedroom. It wasn’t
as messy as the rest of his apartment, but it was still a wreck. Zhongli made a mental note to clean
up when they were done. “Don’t apologize. I love everything you say.”

Ajax closed the door behind them and faced Zhongli again, lightly running his hands over his chest
with a distant look on his face. “Are you alright?” Zhongli asked, and Ajax nodded.
“This is just so perfect that it doesn’t feel real,” he mumbled. “You promise this isn’t a dream and
you really are here?”

Zhongli took Ajax’s hands in his own and pressed them against his chest a little closer. “I’m here,”
he promised. “We’re both right here.”

“And we’re okay?”

“We’re okay.”

“And you’re okay?”

“I promise I am,” Zhongli assured with a soft smile. “Are you okay? Do you still want to do this?”

Ajax nodded his head and leaned in a little closer. “I want to feel you,” he whispered, “as closely as
I can. I missed you too much, so don’t you dare make me wait even longer.”

“I wouldn’t dream of keeping you for any longer,” Zhongli mumbled against his lips. He then
leaned in for a soft kiss, tasting the sweetness of tea that drowned out all the evidence of his earlier
misery. Ajax leaned into it, let out a soft whine, then suddenly parted.

“Shit, I gotta pee real quick,” Ajax suddenly cursed. “Can you give me a second?”

“Sure,” Zhongli nodded. “I’ll wait for you here.”

“Okay, just a second!” Ajax assured before darting to the bathroom, doing a little dance on his way
that made Zhongli chuckle. He sat on the edge of the bed, took off his shoes and socks, ignoring
the blasphemy of doing so in the middle of the apartment as he neatly set them aside, and began to
fiddle with the end of his coat while he waited on him.

The last time he suddenly darted to the bathroom, now that he thought about it, still left a worried
knot in his gut even though he didn’t know what happened behind the closed doors yet. Zhongli
felt worry twist in his gut as his leg began to bounce. He felt the need to go over and check on him,
but he didn’t want to interrupt him.

He wondered if he was really okay. So many of the things he said worried him. How much did he
hurt himself when he was alone? How often was he able to be in Aether’s care? Fuck, why didn’t
he come over to apologize sooner?

He’d have to find a way to personally thank Aether as much as he could for taking care of him and
apologize some more. He buried his face in his hands, knowing his mind shouldn’t be racing this
much when Ajax told him he was fine now, but he couldn’t help but fear the worst.

His eyes locked on the clock on his nightstand, his leg still bouncing as the next minute clocked
by. He didn’t say anything to pressure him, did he? Did he handle talking to him correctly? Was
there anything he should have said differently? What if he upset him without intending to and Ajax
changed his mind?

He… admitted he hurt himself. Zhongli felt tears prick in the corners of his eyes again. Why didn’t
he come over sooner? Why didn’t he-

“You okay, Zhongli?”

Zhongli looked up to Ajax closing the door behind him with a small frown on his face and taking
his own shoes off, kicking them and his socks aside. He looked a little fresher than before, circles
under his eyes a little lighter, fingernails now clean, hair damp, and face a little brighter. “Are you
sure you’re okay?” Zhongli asked softly. “I’m just… I’m so worried for you.”

Ajax slowly made his way next to him, sat down so close their sides were flushed, and put a hand
on his thigh before squeezing lightly. “I’m alright,” he smiled. “I’m just so glad you came when
you did.”

“I should have sooner-”

“No, don’t regret anything,” Ajax smiled softly. “We both needed some time to think things over.
You came at a perfect time. You… really came at a perfect time.”

“What do you mean?”

Ajax looked to the side and sighed. “I was having a really bad night,” he admitted softly. “It was…
a lot rougher than the others I’ve had. Aether had a thing he needed to do and couldn’t keep me
company, so I would’ve been alone for all of it while thinking about… I don’t really want to talk
about it anymore. I’m comfortable being open and will probably tell you later, but right now, I just
want to be with you and feel like that’s what I need. I’m glad I’m not alone anymore. I’m… I’m so
glad I’m not alone anymore.”

Zhongli paused. “You didn’t… when you in the bathroom-”

“I promise I just peed,” Ajax laughed softly, “and I freshened up a little so I’m not super nasty. It’s
okay.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

“I promise I will later. I think it’d make me feel better if I could just… you know… be close to you
again. I want to be in this moment with you.”

“Do you still feel sober enough to-”

“Good Gods, Zhongli, look at me.” Ajax took his hands in his own and looked deeply into his
eyes. “You’re here with me right now, and that means everything. It’s okay now, I promise, and I
really want to do it if you want to.”

“What can I do to help you?” Zhongli asked in a soft whisper. “I-I want to do everything I can-”

“Stop worrying,” Ajax said softly, “and just be with me. That’s all I need right now. I just need you
with me.”

“Of course, love,” Zhongli whispered. Their faces were so close together their noses were
threatening to brush. “I’ll stay with you as long as you need.”

“And… can you stay close?” Ajax continued, hands beginning to fumble with his coat and
threatening to pull it off of his shoulders. “I don’t want to wait anymore to feel you. I missed you
Zhongli. I missed you so much.”

“Anything you want,” Zhongli breathed. With that, Ajax slipped his coat off his shoulders with a
soft smile and laid down on his back on the bed, pulling Zhongli down with him.

“You still want this as much as I do?” Ajax breathed, and Zhongli smiled.

“I want you more than you know,” Zhongli whispered, hands starting to undo Ajax’s shirt. He
relished how his breath hitched and his heart quickened under his hand as he slowly undid the
fastens and pulled it off of his shoulders, exposing his bare and freckled chest. Zhongli laid a soft
kiss down on his cheek and breathed heavily against his skin as he unbuttoned his own shirt,
Ajax’s hands following his own and helping him. Zhongli slid off his gloves and threw them aside
as Ajax slid his shirt off as well before trailing his hands to the hem of Zhongli’s pants.

Zhongli leaned back and studied the body underneath him, noting all the battle scars he
remembered and painted in his memory that were plastered on his skin. Ajax must have noticed
him looking for any new ones because he put his hand on his cheek and gave him a gentle smile.

“I promise I’m okay,” he said softly.

“You said… you hurt yourself before,” Zhongli shook.

“It healed a few days ago,” he assured. “Aether helped me treat it. I’m okay.”

Zhongli released a breath. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to-”

“Shut up and kiss me, dumbass.”

Zhongli did as he was told, leaning down to brush his lips against Ajax’s. Ajax ran his thumb over
his cheek and let out a soft moan into the kiss, making the fire in Zhongli burn a little brighter.
“You’re so beautiful,” Zhongli breathed, savoring the color that brushed across Ajax’s face at his
words. “You’re the most gorgeous person I’ve ever seen, love.”

“I love it when you call me that,” Ajax sighed, starting to fumble with Zhongli’s pants again and
began to pull them down.

“My love…”

Ajax whimpered a little as Zhongli helped him pull his pants down completely, kicking them off as
he helped Ajax out of his own. “I need you so bad,” Ajax breathed. When Zhongli exposed Ajax’s
boxers, he could already see the tent of his arousal, making his own twitch and harden a little
more. “Z-Zhongli, I need you.”

Zhongli groaned softly as he pulled his pants down all the way and threw them aside, leaning
down again when they were both stripped of everything but their boxers to lightly trail his lips over
his neck and jawline. “I need you too,” Zhongli responded, voice already husky with desire.
“You’re so beautiful Ajax, you’re a flower gifted from the heavens.”

“Are we saying metaphors we came up with now?” Ajax lightly laughed. “You’re so cheesy.”

“Is that alright?”

“It’s alright,” Ajax smiled. He trailed his hands over his tattoos and his eyes became a little darker.
“Earlier,” Ajax began softly, “since you said I’m a flower, I was thinking that you were the Sun.
You shine bright like it.”

Zhongli felt a deep blush cross his face which made Ajax’s face break into that beautiful smile.
Ajax reached his hands up Zhongli’s chest and to his shoulders in a slow movement before
reaching to the back of his head, pulling on the fasten that kept his hair up until it fell loose around
his shoulders and pooled next to Ajax like a waterfall. “And I thought you were like the nights
here,” Ajax continued as he ran his fingers through the hair that adorned him like curtains to a
window pouring in the light of early morning. “It’s so humid in Liyue. I can barely breathe when I
go outside and I can barely breathe when I’m with you. And I think you’re a supernova because
you’re so colorful and vibrant. And as of tonight… I think you’re a stream of spring water because
you refresh me and heal me more than you know you do.”

Zhongli couldn’t find the words as he was flooded with the beauty of his words and Ajax’s gentle,
affectionate expression as Ajax laughed lightly again. He loved that laugh more than anything in
existence. He was sure it was his favorite thing about Ajax as if every other part of him wasn’t
already perfect. “Probably not the sexiest thing of me to say right now,” Ajax joked, “and maybe a
little too gushy-”

He was cut off by a deep kiss from Zhongli, who pressed his body down on him and rolled his hips
in a long and fluid motion. Ajax moaned in a breath, licking along Zhongli’s bottom lip and making
him moan in turn. “What a wonderful thing to say,” Zhongli smiled widely as he trailed his kisses
to the corner of Ajax’s mouth so he could keep hearing his gentle noises. “What a wonderful thing
to say, Ajax.”

“It’s not stupid?”

“Of course not. It makes me feel like you love me as much as I love you.”

Ajax pressed his hips up and let his mouth fall open as Zhongli ghosted his hands over his hips and
began to suck a light spot on his neck. He lapped his tongue around the tender flesh, soothing it,
then trailed down a little farther and moved one palm to lightly press on Ajax’s arousal and the
other to caress his bare chest. Ajax moaned and began to grind on his hand, his voice increasing in
volume when Zhongli began to grind his palm back.

“Please,” Ajax whispered so quietly it was almost inaudible. “Zhongli, I need you. P-please,
please…”

“Tell me anything you want and I’ll give it to you,” Zhongli whispered back before sucking
another spot on his tendon. He missed leaving marks on his beautiful skin, missed seeing his work
and evidence of pleasuring Ajax, missed running his hands over his battle scars, and missed
showing every inch of Ajax how much he was hopelessly in love with him.

“Me close to me,” Ajax whimpered when he pressed his palm down harder. “I need you.
Zhongli…”

Those words went straight down to his cock, already fully hard and straining against his boxers. He
began to hastily pull them off, kicking them off his legs while he helped fully unclothe Ajax in
turn.

“That’s what I dragged you in the bedroom for, so don’t worry about it not happening,” Zhongli
joked. Ajax laughed loudly, rolling on his side a little and cackling as he pulled the last remaining
piece of clothing off completely and tossed it aside.

“You’ll ruin the mood if you keep joking!” Ajax teased with a smile.

“Have you changed your mind? We can-”

“No, don’t stop!” Ajax laughed before pressing a kiss on his cheek. He then started to grind up,
breath becoming heavy again and eyes glazed further. “Please don’t stop.”

Zhongli laughed in turn and trailed a hand down the line of Ajax’s spine and to hover over his
hole. Ajax’s breath hitched and he was already leaning over a little to fumble through the top
drawer to grab lube. When he had it in his hand, he quickly settled underneath Zhongli again with
that precious smile glued on his face, unwavering and loyal. It made Zhongli melt where he laid.
“My apologies. I’m just so happy to be with you again, I find I’m at a loss for what to say.”

Ajax’s face melted into a beautiful and affectionate smile and caressed his cheeks with a free hand.
“You can say anything you want. I love all of it and I love your voice.”

Zhongli took the lube Ajax handed him with a sharp inhale and squirted some on his fingers. “I’d
like to hear you, instead,” he whispered, able to find the deepness of arousal in his voice again.
“Can you do that for me?”

He slowly pressed the first finger inside and watched Ajax’s head fall back and eyes flutter with a
long and beautiful moan. His legs spread open even further, begging him silently for more, and his
muscles contracted around him rapidly. “Just like that,” Zhongli praised, barely able to keep his
voice together. “You sound so beautiful, my love.”

“Zhongli,” Ajax whimpered, grinding down on the finger with a hitched breath, “more… I want
more.”

“Already? Don’t you need to adjust?” Zhongli focused on the feeling of him around his finger and
furrowed his eyebrows. “Actually… you’re quite loose and slick already, aren’t you?”

“Maybe I got ready a little bit in the bathroom too,” Ajax admitted in a mumble, and Zhongli
laughed lightly.

“You got ready for me?” Zhongli smiled, curling his finger and beginning to move it and earning a
soft moan and further part of Ajax’s legs.

“Y-Yeah, ahh, j-just for you. Didn’t have a lot of time t-to, mmm, do it properly because I was
impatient, but I wanted to show how much I need you, Zhongli. Please, ahh, I’ve waited for you
for so long. I needed you for so long.”

Zhongli didn’t need any more convincing than that to slide the second finger in and start pumping.
“Tell me how much you missed me,” he whispered in his ear. “I want to hear the one I love tell me
they needed me as I needed them.”

“I missed you so much!” Ajax whimpered, holding onto his neck and hooking his heels behind his
waist. “Z-Zhongli, ahh, I love you! Fuck, I love you! N-needed you so bad, ahh, fuck I love you so
much!”

“And I love you,” Zhongli smiled as he admired him. Ajax looked so gorgeous when he was
making him feel good, nothing in his face but ecstasy and love. Fuck, there was love in that face
that only burned brighter when Zhongli watched his words settle. “Ajax, you’re wonderful and
beautiful. You’re perfect and lovely, you’re everything . You’re my world, you’re my-”

Zhongli was cut off by a high and loud moan as Ajax bucked his hips up and spilled in between
them. He shook through his orgasm before flopping back down on the bed, heaving breaths and
trembling a little. Zhongli looked at his face, blushing and rosy, lips dark and glistening and eyes
deep and glassy. Zhongli smiled down at him and watched as Ajax smiled in return.

“You came already on my fingers?” Zhongli managed to ask. Ajax nodded.

“Mhm,” he hummed. “Not enough. C-Can I have more, please?”

“Hell yes you can have more.” Zhongli was already lining himself up, the sight of Ajax’s post
orgasm flooding all of his senses. “You can have anything you want, my love.”
“A house on a hill by the sea,” Ajax slurred, still hazy from his high.

“I’ll save up to buy us a home.”

“I was kidding.”

“I am not.”

Ajax laughed again and held him tighter. “I’ll buy it. I have the funds-”

“Oh, thank the Gods.”

They both laughed louder, Zhongli faltering his movements to nuzzle his face in the crook of
Ajax’s neck and kiss it through chuckles. “Can we do this every night?” Ajax asked quietly. “I
missed being close to you so much.”

“We’ll do anything you want.”

Ajax ground his hips down a little, earning a sharp inhale from Zhongli. “Anything I want? Then
can you get on with it?”

“Anything you want.”

Zhongli lightly sucked on Ajax’s jawline as he slowly began to sink inside, unable to control the
moan that ripped from his chest as that familiar hot tightness enveloped him. Ajax yelped in pain
from moving too quickly, so Zhongli paused after the head slipped in to let him adjust.

“Feel good?” Zhongli managed to ask through huffs. “Does it hurt? M-Maybe I should have
stretched you out more. Sorry, I got excited-”

“M-more,” Ajax whimpered. “Hurts so good, baby. Want more, p-please.”

Zhongli let out a soft sound as he began to push in a little further. “What an adorable pet name,” he
smiled.

“You don’t want, ahh, me t-to call you…?”

“I love, hah, any name you give me.”

Ajax held Zhongli’s waist in place so tightly with his thighs Zhongli knew he couldn’t get away
and dug his nails in his back when Zhongli pushed in halfway a little too quickly. “So full,” Ajax
whimpered. “Z-Zhongli, Zhongli…”

“Call for me,” Zhongli whispered against his neck as he lightly grazed his teeth against it. He
bottomed out with a grunt and started to grind as deep inside of him as he could and was rewarded
with another beautiful moan.

“Zhongli, baby it feels good- Zhongli, it’s so good, f-fuck Zhongli, s-so good! I missed you so
much,” Ajax continued to ramble in a mewl. “Z-Zhongli, I missed you… so…”

Zhongli heard a sniff and began to kiss his teary lashes and still-stained cheeks. “I’m right here,
love,” Zhongli whispered against him. “I’m right here.”

“I love you,” Ajax whimpered as he ground his hips down. Zhongli released a shaky moan at the
feeling and Ajax moved faster. “I love you, Zhongli I-I love- Ahh!”
“And I love you. F-Fuck Ajax, I love you.”

Zhongli began to slowly thrust inside, relishing every noise and every ripple of muscle around his
arousal. He knew they had sex plenty of times before, but it felt like it was the first time. In fact…
he was sure it was. It felt different, the best kind of different it could be.

“Damn you, ahh, making love to me so sweetly,” Ajax laughed lightly before they turned into
moans. That was what was different, wasn’t it? This wasn’t sex, this was love.

It was the best feeling he’d ever felt.

“Does it, ahh, feel good?”

“Zhongli, it’s amazing. F-fuck, you’re just amazing. I want more, Zhongli , mmm, ahh!”

Ajax’s mouth fell open and kept releasing those lovely moans as Zhongli picked up his pace and
thrust inside of him a little harder. Ajax was now scratching lines down his back sure to scar and
singing cries of pleasure as Zhongli was pumping as deep as he could go.

He needed to feel this intimacy as much as Ajax said he needed it. Knowing he was making Ajax
moan so sweetly and writhe so beautifully was making his mind swirl in ecstasy and affection.
Ajax was precious, so amazingly precious. Zhongli wanted nothing more than to hold him close
like this forever, protect him from all that was terrible, and live in this world where nothing existed
but the two of them moaning and melting into one person… No. He wanted to live in this world
where no matter what happened, all of the terrible and lovely things, they would have each other
and love each other. When he watched Ajax’s blissed face fall further into pleasure, he knew he felt
the same and thrust more intimately, more sensually, more of everything he could.

“So deep,” Ajax cried. “S-so deep, m’ g-gonna cum again!”

“Already?” Zhongli smiled in pride. “Gonna cum again already?”

“Mhm! J-Just a little more, please, please…”

“Cum on my cock,” Zhongli rumbled in his ear, moving harder to chase both of their pleasures and
reaching a hand down to stroke Ajax in time with his thrusts. He needed him to feel good, needed it
more than he needed anything before. “Show me how good you feel.”

Ajax’s back slowly arched into a bow that pressed with Zhongli’s chest as he sang out a beautiful
moan and spilled again, adding to the growing evidence of ecstasy on his chest and torso. Zhongli
faltered his movements for a second for the sake of Ajax’s aftershocks, but a grind down of Ajax’s
hips and soft whimper made him move again.

“Cum inside me,” Ajax begged in a whine. “Please, w-wanna feel you. Ahh, Zhongli I want it so
bad!”

Zhongli moaned freely as the heat in his gut grew. “You want it?” He huffed, thrusts becoming
erratic and disorganized. “You want me to cum inside?”

“Please cum inside, baby.” Ajax kissed his cheek and held onto him tighter. “Please cum for me,
Zhongli, ahh, w-want you to feel good too! C-cum for me baby, please cum for me…”

His words were drowned out by Zhongli’s orgasm that flooded him without warning. He groaned
louder than he was sure he ever had and crashed his lips flush with Ajax’s, sucking on them and
kissing him as deeply as he could as he filled Ajax completely and bathed in white-hot pleasure.
“Full,” Ajax moaned against his lips. “So full…”

Zhongli kissed him deeper, still riding out his high that felt like it would never end. Every inch of
him was being fucked in the most sensual way possible with ecstasy, making his toes curl and
tongue intrude Ajax’s open and willing mouth. He moaned again, a deep and low moan into their
open-mouthed kiss, before aftershocks started to settle and his high faded. When he finally came
to, heaving breaths and still in a daze, he leaned back and studied Ajax’s fucked-out and flushed
face.

“You okay?” Zhongli managed to ask, brushing some hair out of Ajax’s eyes that was sticking to
his sweating forehead. Ajax nodded and smiled.

“I’m okay,” Ajax assured in a soft slur. “Jus’ a little out of it.”

“Me too,” Zhongli admitted with a small laugh. “I… feel like I’m in a daze.”

“Me too, baby.” Ajax pulled Zhongli down as close as he could go on top of him, pressing kisses
on the side of his face and digging his hips down before Zhongli could pull out as if begging him
to stay inside. “Can we stay like this for a minute? Wanna be full of you for a while. M’ so warm.”

“Of course. Anything at all you want.” Zhongli hooked his arms around Ajax and nuzzled his face
in the crook of his neck. Ajax sighed in contentment and started to softly pet his hair. Zhongli
deeply inhaled, lightly kissing and tasting the skin as he felt Ajax melt further. The purr in his chest
grew in volume as his scent filled his senses and Ajax giggled too adorably.

He loved how he smelled during his after-sex glow. It was so strong it made Zhongli feel like he
was floating and his head fuzzy. Ajax began to run his fingers through his loose hair again and
Zhongli basked in the soft feeling and the warmth of his affection. Zhongli couldn’t help but trail a
hand down to Ajax’s abdomen, holding his hand over the bulge he left inside of him. As he rubbed
over it like he was making sure they were still connected, he sighed in pure contentment and began
to trail small kisses over every inch of his neck he could.

“You should let your hair down more often,” Ajax hummed, leaning his head back a little to allow
Zhongli more access. “I like it like this.”

“I’ll never wear it up again,” Zhongli decided aloud with no hesitation. Ajax giggled again and
held him tighter. “You smell really good.”

“Mmm? I haven’t showered in a couple of days, so I thought I’d be stinky.”

“Are you okay-”

“Zhongli, I’m okay now. I promise.” Zhongli deeply inhaled again and felt Ajax’s smile. “Do you
like how I smell naturally more than soap? Maybe we should do this after I work out more often.”

“Gods, yes,” Zhongli sighed, kissing a spot on his neck in emphasis and smiling wider when Ajax
laughed.

“I’ll be sure to let you know when I’m gross since you like that, I guess.”

“Thank you,” Zhongli hummed.

“Mmm, ‘course, baby.”

They were quiet for another moment, with nothing between them but the warmth of intimacy and
the sound of each other’s breaths. Zhongli continued to kiss his neck and breathe in his scent until
it was all that was on his mind as Ajax continued running his fingers in his hair and Zhongli’s
lightly over the bulge in a repetitive motion. Zhongli was sure there was no intimacy closer than
this. He felt so close, so wonderfully close.

Ajax pressed a free hand on his chest to feel the rumbles of his purrs and sighed, grinding down a
little on Zhongli’s softened cock to push it in a little deeper. Zhongli sighed and nuzzled in closer
while Ajax began to kiss the top of his head again. Zhongli’s face was completely buried into
Ajax’s skin, breathing in deeply and in time with him. His breathing was so light, peaceful, steady,
rhythmic, and easy to follow. It made him feel sleepy. Zhongli’s eyes closed and his purring
continued as Ajax’s light touches made his mind drift further.

“Zhongli?” Ajax whispered after a while of just that.

“Mmm?” he hummed in response

“I know we’ve had sex and stuff in the past,” Ajax began softly, “but it feels like this was the first
time.”

Zhongli began to laugh against his skin and inhaled that scent again. “I was actually thinking that
to myself earlier,” he smiled.

“...Zhongli?”

“Yes, love?”

“You’re here, right? You’re really here?”

Zhongli leaned up to brush his nose with Ajax’s. “I’m right here,” he whispered. “Are you? Are
you okay?”

“I’m here, baby. I’m okay now.”

“And we’re okay?”

Ajax lightly kissed his lips. “We’re okay,” he smiled. “I love you, Zhongli.”

“And I love you.”

“If we don’t clean up we probably never will,” Ajax hummed. “Do you wanna…”

“Yes. I really need to pee as well, actually.”

“Ew! Get your dick out and go pee, then!” Ajax joked with a laugh, swatting him lightly. Zhongli
chuckled and began to slowly pull out, pausing every now and then when Ajax sharply drew his
breath in and rolled out of the bed when they disconnected.

“I’ll draw a bath and let you know when it’s ready-”

“Can I go with you?” Ajax asked sheepishly. “I still… don’t want to be alone.”

“May I tell you when I’m done using the bathroom and you join me then?”

Ajax sighed in fake exasperation. “I guess you have some right to privacy,” he grinned.

“Thank you, love,” Zhongli smiled as he scooted to the bathroom, shaking his legs that fell asleep
while they were cuddling out. He didn’t even notice how tight his muscles got. How long were
they laying together? “You can wait outside of the bathroom if you want so you’re not in the
bedroom alone.”

“Okay,” Ajax smiled, moving at a snail’s pace out of the bed through his visible ache. “I was
actually going to ask if I could, but didn’t want to look too clingy.”

“You can’t ever be,” Zhongli called back as he left the bedroom and Ajax followed. “I love you.”

“I know, baby. I love you too.”

___

Zhongli poured some of the epsom salts and essential oils he bought for Ajax, or bought with
Ajax’s money, into the bath while Ajax sat in it patiently.

“You really do put a lot of care into baths,” Ajax hummed, stretching his legs out and sinking in
the warm water deeper.

“You deserve only the best,” Zhongli hummed as he set the salts and oils back neatly under the
sink. “I should really clean this up too,” he mumbled mostly to himself as he stared at the mess
around them, dirty clothes piled on the floor, toiletries sprawled across the sink, and empty bottles
of soap stacked around the tub.

“Thank you again for doing all of that,” Ajax’s soft voice echoed across the bathroom walls.
Zhongli nodded and closed the cabinet.

“It was no problem at all, love.”

Zhongli turned his head to Ajax and found him staring blankly down at the water. Zhongli lightly
tapped his shoulder to show that he was moving next to him and his face turned into a smile again
as he looked up to lock their gazes together.

“Hi,” Ajax grinned when Zhongli slid next to him, opening his arms in that silent invitation when
he was submerged in the water too. Ajax nearly leaped into them and Zhongli chuckled.

“Hi,” Zhongli returned, lightly kissing his hair and smelling it again. He missed his scent so, so
much. Ajax was quiet and Zhongli continued to lay kisses on his head and lightly run his hands
over his arms to show he was still here. “Are you alright?”

Ajax paused then released a breath. “In all honesty… I still feel bad. It’s not anything wrong you
did at all,” he assured quickly, “just… I don’t think I recovered from everything quite yet. It was a
lot and I wasn’t in the best place for these past few months, especially the last couple of weeks.
Sorry, I know I shouldn’t be feeling bad.”

Zhongli thought on the words he should say in response for a moment. “There’s nothing wrong
with still feeling bad. Everything won’t magically be better after one night,” he settled on.
“Whatever you need, I’ll do my best to give you, and anything I can do to help you or do better,
please let me know. Just let me know when you need support and I’ll give you as much as you
need.”
Ajax nuzzled into his touch and Zhongli felt another purr rumble in his chest. “Can I ask you to
stay for the night?” Ajax murmured. “I don’t think I can be alone for a while.”

“You can ask anything of me. I was planning on it already,” Zhongli smiled. “I have a lot more to
clean in the morning. I have the next day off, so I’ll take care of you. Is there anything else I can
do?”

“Well Gods , you clean my apartment, make me tea, do the dishes, listen to me vent, assure that
you love me, give me support, show that you care about me, and ask what you can do to help… I
think you’re just the package deal and got it together already,” Ajax joked with a laugh, nuzzling
his face in closer. “Your support is everything to me. It really helps so, so much. Thank you for
everything. Just knowing you’re there for me makes me feel better. I know I won’t magically be
completely okay soon, but… I feel like eventually, I will be. You make me hopeful.”

Zhongli smiled a little wider and held him tighter. “I’ll do everything I can for you. I’ll stay by
your side.”

“Zhongli… You’re wonderful.”

“As are you, my love.” Zhongli paused in thought. “Should I bring up the new assignment you
were given? I want to help you overcome that.”

“I don’t want to talk about it too much right now,” Ajax said softly. “But, let’s figure out stuff
tomorrow if it’s not too much to ask.”

“Of course it’s not,” Zhongli smiled.

“If I could figure out a way to prove you’re right or that you said it everything should be fine,”
Ajax thought aloud. “But I don’t know exactly what yet and don’t want to figure it out now. I think
I just want to be in this moment with you.”

“I’ll help as much as I can tomorrow,” Zhongli smiled. “Everything will be okay.”

“I didn’t think it was possible before,” Ajax hummed, “but you make me think it will be. Thank
you.”

“No, thank you.”

“I didn’t do much,” Ajax laughed softly. Zhongli started to wash his back as Ajax lightly kissed his
chest.

“That can’t be any more inaccurate,” Zhongli soothed. “I needed you more than I knew I did. I feel
complete now. My purpose used to be so simple, but you showed me all the wonderful things I can
serve and live for. Your love makes things brighter.”

“You’re so sweet,” Ajax mumbled against his chest.

“You deserve only the sweetest.”

“Can... we go to bed?” Ajax whispered quietly. “I wanna cuddle in there again.”

“Let’s clean up a little more first, then I’ll change the sheets.”

“Do they need changing?” Ajax thought on his words again. “We forgot to lay a towel down
again.”
“Indeed we did.”

“Darn,” Ajax mumbled as Zhongli began to rinse out his hair. Zhongli couldn’t help but laugh at
his pouting face and soaked hair covering his eyes before lightly brushing them out the way and
kissing his forehead. “Next time?”

“Next time we’ll remember,” Zhongli agreed.

They washed each other and spoke about everything else they couldn’t before they could think of
until Ajax left the bathroom to start changing the sheets while Zhongli drained and rinsed the tub
out. Or, more accurately, Ajax stood by the doorframe and continued to talk to him after he said
he’d start working on changing the bedsheets. Zhongli didn’t mind of course. He was sure he
didn’t want to ever lose sight of Ajax ever again, so he savored his company.

When Zhongli was satisfied enough with the cleanliness of the bathroom, he stepped out with Ajax
into the bedroom. Ajax gave him some sweatpants without him having to tell him he was cold (he
supposed he always kept his apartment freezing since he was used to the weather at home) and
slipped on some boxers himself as Zhongli got some spare sheets out of his dresser. They stripped
the bed together in comfortable silence, Ajax laughing a little at how neatly and carefully Zhongli
folded the dirtied sheets and set it aside.

“Oh,” Ajax suddenly exclaimed, “you brought the radio back, right?”

“I did,” Zhongli nodded.

“Come with me to the kitchen,” Ajax waved as he went to the door, leaving the bed half made. “I
wanna grab it and play some music while we’re doing this.”

“Is it too late to listen?” Zhongli asked. “I thought you’d want to get some sleep.”

“With as particular as you are,” Ajax smiled as he made his way to the kitchen and grabbed the
radio from the side table Zhongli set it on earlier, “we’ll have listened to the whole CD before
we’re done, so we might as well listen to a few songs now. What time is it by the way?”

Zhongli looked at the clock on the wall and chuckled. “Almost four-thirty.”

“Who needs sleep?”

“Not us,” Zhongli joked lightly as he followed Ajax back into the bedroom. “What do you mean
by CD?”

Ajax blushed lightly and shook his head. “I burned some songs I thought you’d like on this… I
don’t really want to explain it. It’d take longer than the rest of the night,” he laughed. “I can play it
if you’d like. It’s the same group of songs that the song we danced to is from.”

Zhongli nodded his head. “I wouldn’t mind,” he smiled. With that, Ajax carried the radio to the
bedroom as Zhongli followed him back, set it on the desk, and pressed the play button.

“I needed more,” the song began softly, “needed more…”

“This song is kind of sad,” Ajax said mostly to himself. “I can skip it if you want.”

“Than love from you…”

“That’s okay,” Zhongli assured. “I’m happy to listen to anything you picked out for me.”
“I needed more, needed you, to be with me...”

This song was quieter than the other one Ajax played, Zhongli thought mostly to himself. He liked
the gentleness of it more than the noise of the other ones, how slow and dreamy it was as soft
sways of instruments lazily drifted across the bedroom.

“I wrote it out, wrote it out so you might stay…”

“Do you want to dance?” Zhongli suddenly blurted. Ajax looked up with a soft and gentle face
before it morphed into a wide smile.

“I’d love to,” he grinned as he walked up to Zhongli, taking his hands into his own. “But… Don’t
we need to change the sheets?”

“I wrote it out, wrote it down, so we could play…”

“We’ll get to it eventually,” Ajax decided aloud to himself before Zhongli could respond. They
began to move slowly in time with the song, Zhongli looking into those deep eyes and unable to
control the smile from crossing his face.

“There in your eyes, how many times, can a heart go back?”

“Are you tired?” Zhongli asked softly. “You said earlier you wanted to go to bed.”

“I just was ready to start cuddling again, but this…” Ajax rested his head on Zhongli’s chest. “This
is just as good.”

“It's in the life that we made, we put it all on track…”

“I feel the same way,” Zhongli smiled, pressing a kiss on his temple.

“For everyone else to see, bigger than ourselves…”

“I’m not tired at all actually,” Ajax hummed. “Do you have work tomorrow?”

“I don’t. Do you?”

“Made it all, did the dance, came out through this hell…”

“I don’t. We can figure everything out in the morning if that’s okay. Maybe I can cook something
edible then.”

“I needed more, needed more than love from you…”

“I’ll finish cleaning up and cook for you.”

Ajax laughed a little and leaned up from his chest to continue looking in his eyes, smile still
unwavering and eyes sparkling in the dull light of the lamp. Everything looked golden, like the
golden afternoon he strolled through earlier, but his heart was open to enjoy it now, and that made
it the loveliest shade he’d ever seen.

“I needed more, needed you to be with me…”

“I’ll help you clean. I don’t want you doing all that by yourself again.” Zhongli spun him under his
arm and laughed when Ajax hooked Zhongli’s arm around his waist and pretended to dip.
“We made a deal, made a dream, made it real, you see…”

“You will do nothing to help. I wish to serve you in any way I can.”

“I haven’t asked what I can do for you yet, have I, Zhongli?”

“Made a life, made a scene, made up everything…”

“Keep existing,” Zhongli said softly. Ajax’s eyes were the shade of blue that matched the clearest
parts of the sky, Zhongli suddenly noticed. He wondered if it could ripple and shine like the
oceans, too.

“Life carries on just like a song I sing, but I don't know…”

“Zhongli… I…”

“I walk away from all the noise and I'm on my own…”

Night was when it rippled, Zhongli remembered. The sparkle in it was exactly that, little stars that
danced in his irises.

“All I need is you here with me. That’s all I ask of you.”

“I don't know how to speak with you, I'd rather be alone…”

“I can… I’ll do my best to do that for you,” Ajax promised, and those words alone soothed Zhongli
more than anything could.

“And when I can help keep you safe, if you ever need to talk…”

“But somehow whenever I do, I wonder why so long…”

“I promise I’ll be open with you,” Ajax whispered, spinning under Zhongli’s extended arm again.
“I should’ve been more open in the past-”

“It’s just the past,” Zhongli assured. “We’re here right now. I care more about our future.”

“I needed more, needed more than love from you…”

“Our future…” Ajax breathed when Zhongli placed one hand on the small of his waist and the
other in his hand, waltzing lazily across the floor, “that sounds so pretty when you say it like that.”

“Life is…” Zhongli found himself whispering when he looked at how the warm light bounced off
of his lover, “Ajax, life is beautiful.”

“What makes you say that now?”

“I needed more, needed you to be with me…”

“You told me that a while ago,” Zhongli whispered, holding onto Ajax’s hand a little tighter and
looking into those deep eyes he couldn’t help but drown in, “and I didn’t know what you meant. I
thought it was obvious that existence was a gift, but I understand now.”

They began to dance so slowly and softly they were just swaying at this point, the sound of
trumpets singing and the piano chiming slowly growing quieter. “Life is beautiful. You’ve shown
me this. Every moment we’re together makes it that way.”
Ajax pressed his lips together and hung his head down, stifling a small sob. Zhongli let go of his
waist to gently lead his head up and look into his eyes again.

“Every moment I’m with you, my lover, life is beautiful.”

“So sappy,” Ajax teased so quietly he could barely hear him, voice breaking a little as tears glossed
over his eyes.

“May I be sappy?”

“You can be sappy.” Ajax led his hand back down to his waist and gave him a small smile. “You
can do anything. Anything you do… Anything you want to do is okay.”

“What is it you think I need?”

The next song was starting to play gently as they swayed, a powerful and loud voice breaking the
quiet melancholy of the previous. Zhongli couldn’t contain his smile.

“I’m glad I can. I’ve wanted to show you how much I love you for so long”

“Maybe it’s too hard to see, I don’t want it all…”

“I should’ve shown you how much I love you earlier, Zhongli. You… you’re just perfect.”

“We have so long together to show each other, don’t we?”

Ajax laughed lightly. “We do,” he whispered, the smile on his face growing wider and their
dancing grander. “I guess we do.”

“I’ve had enough...”

“Do you know the lyrics to this song as well?”

“I do.” Ajax began to move their clasped hands in time as well.

“I don’t want it all, I’ve had a love…”

“May I hear you sing?”

Ajax nodded sheepishly. “I’m not that good at it.”

“Your voice is the most beautiful I’ve heard.”

“Worst feeling I’ve had is gone...”

“I’ll sing for you if you want me to.”

“I would love for you to if that is not too selfish of a request from me.”

“It’s gone…”

Ajax began to softly sing along in answer while Zhongli watched fondly. This was perfect. This
was absolutely perfect. His lover was perfect. His lover.

His lover. He wanted to scream that title until his lungs were spent. It gave him far too much joy.
He wanted to think more on how he looked, how perfectly his hand fit into his, how his warmth
was radiating in waves, but this moment was taking over every thought he had. He couldn’t focus
on anything except this.

“I know how it all comes back, I know too well…”

His voice was so beautiful. So, so beautiful.

“Now I’m done...”

“Do you know the lyrics to all these songs?”

Ajax nodded and continued to sing, throwing his head back and screaming the lyrics when the
song suddenly swelled, filling the room with noise and a feeling Zhongli was getting used to.

“I’m leaving once again, making my own plan...”

Zhongli was going to ask if he could keep singing to him like this every night, but he bit back his
words so he could soak in his voice as much as he could. If he got lost in everything enough, it felt
like it consumed everything around him and ate away all that hurt him in the past.

“I'm not looking for the answer, or anything that lasts…”

It really was just the past, and the future they could spend together now was beautiful.

“I just want to see some beauty…”

Even the present was just an illusion to the future. It was so quick to pass, so fleeting, so small...

“Try and understand…”

...but the future. The future was what he could see when they woke up together the next morning,
or when they danced until the light poured through the windows and the birds chirped.

“If we got to know each other, how rare is that?”

The future was not being able to know exactly how everything would turn out, but knowing it
would work somehow. It was knowing he could hold Ajax the next morning and help him sort
through all that troubled him.

“All that space in between where we stand, could be our chance…”

It was the excitement of being able to hear the rest of the songs on the radio and the excitement of
being able to dance with him again.

“Could be our chance…”

It was knowing they were together again. It was knowing he was safe and will continue to be safe.
It was knowing Ajax chose him to share this moment together and knowing he’d see that smile for
so many more days to come.

“I'm walking through the scenes, I'm saying all the lines…”

It was memorizing his scent as Zhongli leaned in to softly kiss Ajax’s forehead while he continued
to sing, and it was Ajax giggling through the next lyric and squeezing his hands a little tighter.

“I wish I could unsee some things that gave me life…”

It was the warmth that flooded Zhongli’s mind and body despite how cold Ajax kept his
apartment. It was thinking about how they’d inevitably fight over the thermostat if they really did
live together at some point.

“I wish I could un-know, some things that told me so…”

It was knowing Ajax was safe.

“I wish I could believe, all that's been promised me…”

It was knowing he was happy.

“It's hard to say forever love…”

It was knowing everything would be okay.

“Forever's just so far…”

And it was loving the sound of his voice.

“It's hard to say forever love…”

The uncertainty was what made the future so charming, so lovely, so worth getting excited about.

“Forever's just so far…”

The sun would be rising soon. He could already make out the dark blue hues through the windows,
solidifying that it was an absolute that would continue to bring him comfort unimaginable.

“It's hard to say forever love…”

Ajax said he was the sun, but Zhongli was convinced that was Ajax. The warmth he shined on his
skin was enough to keep him alive and well for the rest of his life.

“Forever's just so far…”

Zhongli was sure Ajax was more than the sun, actually. Even something so wonderful, something
that gave so many things life, wasn’t as lovely as he was. He was more than anything in existence.

“Why don't you say you're with me now...”

Zhongli squeezed Ajax’s hands and was met with Ajax pulling him in for another embrace,
nuzzling his face in his neck and singing softly against his skin.

“...with all of your heart?”

Zhongli could feel his breath tickling his neck, making him chuckle softly. He pulled Ajax in as
close as he began to leave kisses on the top of his head, making Ajax laugh through the lyrics
again.

“With all of your heart...”

His laugh really was his favorite part of him. That, or how Ajax was able to make the world fade as
they danced to the lovely music he picked out. This was his favorite song, Zhongli decided,
because Ajax listened to it, thought of him, and shared it out of all the other ones he could have
picked.
 “With all of your heart.”

The music swelled, their steps grew slower, it too faded into a soft and beautiful sound, and it was
okay. All of existence could fade away just like the song and it would be okay because he was right
here and he was smiling.

The next song would play, they would dance again, he’d keep tasting his lover’s lips as he was
pulled into another breathtaking kiss, and Ajax would sing along as he smiled.

Because even if the song faded, even if everything was spiraling out of control, they were smiling
together. Ajax’s joyful expression did not once waver as they danced, reliable and perfect, making
Zhongli look fondly onto him and kiss him like a starved man.

Ajax was happy and with him now, and that made everything okay.

That made everything okay.

Chapter End Notes

I spilled my heart the last time I ended a fic, and I’m gonna do it again because I want
to. So get ready.

I started writing this fic when I went through a not swag cash portion of my life so I
could cope. I intended initially to take this fic in a very angry, dark route, but the more
I wrote and revised, and the more I got past that hurt and connected with my friends
again, and the more I learned what it was like to love again.

Hearts are pretty hard to open up when they’re hurt. Or, they are when we forget the
best part of love is learning how to. There was never a perfect time for me to text my
friend I haven't talked to in a year because I was scared she didn’t want anything to do
with me, and when I did it when I wrote the scene when Zhongli realized there wasn’t
a perfect time either, we became friends again. There was never a perfect time for me
to try and make new friends, but through this and having the confidence to be open to
others, I met my lovely beta reader and made an amazing friend. There was never a
perfect time to awaken my love for writing again, but somehow, it feels like now was
exactly that.

Loving again is such an amazing power, and so is connecting to other people. It’s so
easy to feel like you’re alone in what you’re going through something hard and think
too late, but it never is and never will be to open your heart again.

Thank all of you again for following me and supporting me on this journey, every last
one of you is wonderful and beautiful. I can’t express my thanks in words, so I hope
this thing I spent months upon hours working on is enough to show how much I love
writing for you.

Last thing, I am editing this little portion in bc people asked me if I had a Twitter and I
did not at the time but I sure do now. If you liked this you should give me a follow,
I'm @woahiohioh ! Also, check out this amazing fanart @Tory_c44 made on Twitter!
https://twitter.com/Tory_c44/status/1395286525873594368
 Have a wonderful rest of your day/night. I’ll see you again soon, goodbye for now,
friends. :)

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