The poem "Suicide Note" by Janice Mirikitani is a deep dive into the human

condition, probing the complexity of despair and the never-ending search for
mastery over one's emotions. Mirikitani is a talented poet who weaves a chilling
story that takes the reader deep inside the mind of a tormented person on the
verge of giving up hope. The poem's use of vivid imagery and striking metaphors
transports the reader into the speaker's emotional turmoil. The poem centers on
a young girl's struggle with a crippling sense of inferiority and hopelessness
brought on by her pursuit of impossible ideals and the approval of others. Janice
Mirikitani's "Suicide Note" effectively illustrates the need for empathy,
understanding, and open discussion of mental health issues through its use of
imagery to show how perfectionism, the illusion of control, and societal
pressures negatively affected the protagonist's sense of self-worth and
emotional well-being.

Poetically, the girl's perfectionism is portrayed by the poem's recurrence of the

line "not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough." The constant
nature of her self-criticism, brought on by both external and internal pressures,
is reflected in this refrain. Because of her tendency towards perfection, the girl is
always finding fault with herself. This leads to a crushing sense of despair and
hopelessness. Her inner turmoil is fuelled by her incessant pursuit of ideals that
are simply out of reach. The girl's academic difficulties are also implied in the
poem, adding to her sense of worthlessness. The fact that they brought up her
inability to do well on tests implies that her parents may have put greater
emphasis on academic success than they did on providing unqualified love and
support. Her estrangement and the conviction that she is not "good enough" in
her parents' and society's eyes are exacerbated by this external pressure.

At the peak of 'Suicide Note', the girl stands on the edge of her building and
makes a striking comparison between herself and a sparrow getting ready to
take flight. Despite her utter hopelessness, this analogy demonstrates her
capacity for perseverance and survival. That she sees every flaw as "ice above
her river" is evidence of the warped perspective through which she evaluates
herself. The metaphor of "ice above her river" alludes to an obstruction in her
emotional flow, which mirrors the icy hold of self-doubt and inadequacy that
holds her captive. In addition, as she contemplates her choices, the girl realizes
how devastated her parents could be to learn of her perceived failure. As a result
of this insight, she feels compelled to apologize for her "flaws." However, she
has been conditioned by her upbringing and the expectations of others to see
these weaknesses in herself where none exist. Her parents may have placed a
higher value on her academic success than on providing her with unconditional
love and acceptance, which may explain why she strives for perfection and sets
such high standards for herself.
She holds herself to impossible standards, and therefore whatever flaws she
sees in herself are actually reflections of those ideals. Subtly critiquing the
negative effects of parental conditioning, the poem instead highlights the
significance of unconditional love and support in developing a positive sense of
identity. A powerful commentary on the far-reaching effects of cultural pressures
and parental expectations on an individual's mental well-being, the girl's battle
to recognize her own worth becomes a crucial narrative point. The protagonist of
"Suicide Note" struggles to accept her flaws and believes she is helpless in the
face of adversity because of this. She compares herself to a bird battered by a
violent storm, but instead of keeping hope alive and looking for solutions, she
chooses what appears like the simpler way out. This metaphor emphasizes her
belief that she is weak and easily broken by life's challenges.

In addition, the girl has a far different perception of men than most people do,
and this is one of her most remarkable delusions. As far as she's concerned,
guys are built to withstand adversity and emerge stronger on the other side.
This is evident in the lines, "I would swagger through life, muscled and bold and
assured, drawing praises to me like currents in the bed of wind, virile with
confidence," which show her skewed view of masculinity. She thinks that guys
have an innate confidence and fail to ever question themselves. But the truth,
which the girl didn't know, is that males are just as susceptible to feelings of
insecurity as women are. The poem discreetly questions this stereotype by
exposing the myth that masculinity is synonymous with power and self-
assurance. Men, like women, face doubts and fears, although they may
internalize these feelings less openly due to societal standards and expectations.

The girl's mistaken belief in her own masculinity is illustrative of the more
systemic problem of societally expected gender roles. The expectation that
males should be strong and unyielding in the face of misfortune is one that is
often reinforced by society. Men's mental health can be negatively impacted by
this restricted image of masculinity, which can lead them to feel pressured to
hide their emotions and vulnerabilities. The poem highlights the negative effect
of societal gender stereotypes by contrasting the girl's view of herself as weak
and the men's view of themselves as strong. It encourages readers to examine
these assumptions critically and to challenge them for the sake of building a
more accepting and empathetic culture that values diversity and respects the
whole range of human experience, regardless of gender.

To sum up, readers will never forget "Suicide Note" by Janice Mirikitani, which
presents a frightening portrayal of the human condition and the complexities of
mental struggle. The girl's sense of value and well-being are profoundly affected
by the poet's exploration of perfectionism, the illusion of control, and the weight
of societal constraints through the poem's brilliant use of imagery. Janice
Mirikitani uses vivid pictures to make the reader feel the girl's pain and
encourages us to talk about our own struggles with mental health. This moving
poem is a powerful call to remember our common humanity and stand by one
another in our search for purpose and community.