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com
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nodf.k lïuq, ism.;sñ'
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ug ke;s úh'
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f.ä lrf.k n,d isáfhñ'
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uu wNh odkh ÿkafka wehgo@ fï isyskhlao@

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yeáhls' t iuÕ wuq;= yeÕSulska uf.a ys; msÍ
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.sfhah' È.= l,la w;=reoykaj isá uf.a mjqf,a

Woúh kej; ug uqK .eiqKq fihla ug
oeksKs' Tjqka yd fodvu¿ jkakg ud yuqjg
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—fmdfrdkaÿjla jqkdg rlskaku ´fk

kEfk' Thdg kï fjkia lrkak mq¿jkafk'˜
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bkafldg uerefK ljqo@ thdf. wïuo@ kx.so@
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wlalo@ fkdako@ ;du;a ux l,amkd lrkajd ta

.ek'˜ ;u orejka foi n,df.k fï ish,a, lS
.eyeKsh wka;sfï§ ud foi yeÍ WKqiqï
iskdjla - uf.a wïudf.a jf;a uejqKd jkau
WKqiqï iskdjla mEjdh' l=ula lshkako
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orefjda ug w; jekqfjdah' wka;sfï§ Tjqka
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uf.a o¾Yk m:fhka fkdfmkS .sh miq N+ñ

lïmdj úhelS .sfhah'
ug §ma;su;a fk;a iÕ,la we;ehs uf.a uj
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ta we;a; jkakg we;s' m<uq ne,afukau
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fuu flá l;dj uu m<uqj ,shk ,oafoa

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leu;s kï lshùu msKsi bx.S%is msgm;o fuys
we;=<;a lf<ñ'
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fuu ks¾udKfha ish¨ whs;sh ud i;=h'

Ys%hdks pñ,d l=udß
wdorKsh mdGlh Tfí woyia ug lshkak'
chamilakumari84416@gmail.com

The Promise
I never thought, never even once
thought, I would run away from the first
day of my work. Anyway, it happened.
Like a shameless coward, not knowing
what to do, I ran away. For the past six
years, I had dreamed of this day- the first
day at my work- the day I will start a brand
new life, forgetting, and burring down all
the past dark memories deep inside my
heart. I thought I had done it neatly,
 sinhalaebooks.com

flawlessly. Because I am such a smart one

with an IQ of 150, I thought I could do
whatever I want, even forgetting my past
completely. However, it did not work. Like
a rubber ball that kept pressing in to the
water, my past memories jumped at once
on to the surface shattering and breaking
the seal I had made. That seal made out of
thin glass, I know it for sure, because a
shattered sharp blade cut through me,
bleeding me to death, making me wanting
to scream aloud with pain, cry aloud
pouring tears like a rain. Then only thing I
did was running away like a fearful
coward.
I stopped and turned back. There were
so many people sitting on the benches and
looking in to the void, patiently waiting for
 sinhalaebooks.com

their turn to meet some guardian angel

who gives some painkillers to kill their
pain. That day their guardian angel was I.
However, I ran away even without asking
what their pain was. I know they are not
my people. They do not speak my
language nor worship Lord Krishna like
me. They are completely different from me
like night and day, but I was their guardian
angel who should held stethoscope in
hands and pressing down it on to their
chest and listen to their painful hearts. Yes,
it was my job. No matter how hard, it was
my job. However, I ran away, just because
my past memories piers through my heart
like a poisonous arrow.
It was so vivid and I could clearly
remember everything. Once I was a bloody
 sinhalaebooks.com

murder who held a gun in hands and killed

people even without blinking an eye. Now
here I am, holding a stethoscope in hands
and ready to save people-people who even
not belong to my race-just enemies who I
raged to kill once.
“Ane deviyane! Spare me. I am
pregnant. Just pity and spare me!” Folding
hands, a woman cried in front of me. For
the first time, holding the gun I blinked the
eye that day. I looked at her belly. There
was no sign to say she is telling the truth.
Should I kill her? Or not? I hesitated. What
if she is telling the truth? What good will
come killing her? It will only put me in the
same scale as my enemy who killed my
pregnant mother in the broad day light and
inspired me to walk in to a bloody battle-a
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war between people who speak two

different languages.
I gasped. The woman was crying,
but behind her, I saw my mother’s smiley
face. Her smile was so bright even to make
that bloody night in to a spring sunny day.
“If it is a baby boy, let’s call him
Krishna. If it is a baby girl, let’s call her
Radha. You like it, don’t you? You are
Rama and there will be Radha or Krishna.
Will not make it our house in to a
heaven?”
“Amma, you are the heaven.” I said
hugging and kissing on her cheek.
Other day, when I came running home
smiling, shouting, holding higher up my
report card-the written evidence for my
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smartness, the heaven had become a

complete hell, soaking in bloody sea. I lost
all my senses. I wanted to take revenge. I
walked in to the tiger’s den where I can be
one of them, so I can take my revenge up
on people whose language same as my
enemy. Then one day I was about to record
ten-the number of people whose lives I
robbed, I met her-the tenth prey of mine-
who called herself a pregnant.
No matter how hard I tried I could
not kill her, but I could not walk away
silently either. The price of her life-may
her child’s life too, yes, I had to call the
price before I leaving. I closed my eyes for
a moment to remember how my mother
was smiled naming her unborn child.
Radha, Krrishna.
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“Your child, if it is a boy you will

name him Krishana, if it is a girl you will
name her Radha. You got it?” I called the
price, but woman was silent. “If you want
to live, you have to promise me you will
do that. Don’t you get it you b…...” I
almost shouted. Night air steered. A cold
wind swept. She shook her head and said
yes. I turned and disappeared in to the
night. After that day I could not ever held
my gun and kill anyone. Even though I
knew for surely she will never keep her
promise, deep inside my heart I felt like
my mother still alive somewhere counting
fingers to name her newborn child.
I left the hospital and walked in to
the pavement. I walked and walked until
my legs sore. Then I don’t know from
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where, I climbed up to a bus to go

anywhere it takes me. The sea, I saw the
sea. On a seaside road bus was rolling.
Country’s famous Gall face Ground was
passing. I climbed down the bus, walked
and sat on a bench under a palm tree. The
environment was so calm. The burning sun
had kept people away. I was alone in that
shore looking at the sea where waves are
jumping and rolling one over another
wanting to kiss the shore. In my mind too,
there were memories jumping and rolling
one over another, piercing and cutting
through my heart.
I wanted to cry, cry aloud-pouring
tears, but not thinking about my mother,
father or other my people who had a cold
death in a ruthless war, just thinking about
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how lonely I am now I wanted to cry.

There was no anyone to embraces and tells
as mine. I was just a lonely soul on an
earth filled with people.
Like in a fantasy movie if I can
traveled back in time, to what time I will
go back, what changes I will do in the past,
I wondered over and over. Will I just save
my mom or stop that bloody war uprooting
its all causes. Even I were able to change
the past what should I do about the future.
In the future, will the sky all fill with only
white pigeons?
“Krishna….!” I heard a woman’s
voice. May be I was dreaming thinking
how mother will called my little brother if
he was borne.
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“Radha…..!” I heard a woman’s voice

again. Then is it a girl?
“Come here, hurry up….!” No, I was
not dreaming, the voice is so alive. I turned
around. The Gall face Ground had filled
with so many people. Many hours had
passed. I didn’t know a thing about it.
A little boy and a girl about
seven or eight years old came towards me
running. May be I am really dreaming? I
gasped and watched with bulging eyes.
“Do you want ice creams?” I heard a
woman voice again. I turned. A woman
was sitting on the other side of the bench.
The kids ran to her.
“What flavor do you like? Strawberry?
Vanilla? Chocolate?”
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“Chocolate.” Kids said at the same

time jumping up and down raising their
hands.
“Uncle, what flavor do you like?”
That Question was so unexpected. The boy
asked peeping in to my eyes, but I didn’t
know he is asking me. I looked around.
There was no anyone near there. The
woman and kids were all looking at me.
“Did you ask me?” I barely found my
voice.
“Yes. It is so hot. Want an ice cream?”
The boy asked again.
I shook my head-an automatic gesture.
After few minutes, in my hand, there
was a strawberry flavored ice cream. The
kids were jumping and running tasting ice
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creams and woman was sitting again on

the bench.
I was going to thanks her for the ice
cream, but I just asked, “Are you Sinhala?”
“Yes.” Woman replied keeping her
eyes on to her children.
“But you have given your children to
Tamil names.”
“Yes.”
“Is your husband is Tamil?”
“No.”
“I’m sorry madam I should not
ask…..”
“It is a promise. I promised to
someone that I would name my child as
Radha or Krishna, but what to do? I had
twins. So I gave them both names.”
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My ice cream dropped. It completely

fell on to the ground. I felt like I ran a long
marathon and returned to the starting point.
I stood up, and then sat again. The woman
was still looking at her kids. So I don’t
know if she saw what happened to me.
Then, in that bloody night the woman I
spared was she? What a small world! No, I
am dreaming. right? I looked at the woman
again and pinched my cheek. It hurt a lot.
“Are you a doctor?” The woman
asked.
“Yes, but how did you know?” I asked
back. Woman turned gestured to my chest.
I looked down. My stethoscope is still
around my neck. I hurried and took it in
my hand.
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“Are you a fake one? A real doctor

never advertises it like that.” Woman
smiled still looking at her children. I
wondered about her. She is such a bold
one. Any sane woman will not go to chat
and joke with strangers in this city where
filled with bad peoples, more than in a war
boiled battlefield.
“It is just because I ran away. Today is
first day at my work, but I got scared and
ran away.” I wondered why I even
bothered telling these things to her. My
response should been running away again,
but I felt like someone is grabbing me,
holding me, without losing the grip. And
there was an another strange feeling. I felt
in deep down my heart I had meet my long
lost family. I wanted to open my heart to
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them. Tell how lonely I was for the past

years. I wanted to curse at them for taking
so much time to meet me again.
“They are cute.” I said referring her
kids.
“Yes, they are.”
“In a country where a war boiled
between Tamil and Sinhalese, how can you
just promise to give your child a Tamil
name?” I never thought she would reply
me. I thought she would walk away taking
her kids.
“Because of those are such lucky
names. Because of those names, we
survived.” No need to tell the full story. I
knew what she means. Somehow, she must
have overcome all the hardships in the war
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ending battle, which break soon after she

being spare by me. Me too, somehow
survived and took the university entrance
exam and entered to the medical college
just to keep my mind busy with studding,
so I will not bothered with my dark and
sorrowful past.
“Why to bother keep such a weird
promise. You can change the names.” I
really told what I mean. After saying that,
my heart lost half of its weight.
“No. If I were going to change them
later I never had given them those names
in the first place. Because of those names I
heard everything that I have to heard, my
relatives said I had lost my mind, they said
because I had these kids with a Tamil man
I gave them Tamil names, If my husband
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had survived in the war ending battle, he

would surely kill me even for suggesting to
give our kids Tamil names.
“Others will see it as a just promise,
but to me it is not. That promise worth my
life. If I turn back and break my promise
what good will comes? It will be just a
curse on us. More than that, I think over
past years, why that murder spares my life
for such a promise? He was just a kid who
holds a gun in his hands, but hearing that I
am pregnant, he spared my life telling to
name my kid as Radha or Krishna. Was his
younger sibling lost in the war, or his
pregnant mother died, I thought and
wondered over and over about it.
“Sometimes I felt like this country’s
peace is on my shoulder. If I ever break
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my promise it will not just curse on just

three of us.” Telling all these things
looking at her children woman turned to
me and smiled-a smile as bright as my
mother’s smile. I didn’t know what to tell.
I just had become a dumb and mute.
“Amma, let’s buy a kite.” Kids come
searching their mother. I kept looking at
them. I am the one who gave their lives,
don’t I?
“Should I?” Putting the belt of the bag
on shoulder woman stood and took her
kids’ hands, turned to me. Then she said
something I never thought she would tell.
“Thank you for sparing us.”
A volcano exploded somewhere near.
Ground began to shake violently. Sitting
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on the bench was too hard, but I could not

stand up too. I could not run away either.
After giving another warm smile woman
left me. Kids wave their hands. After three
of them disappearing from my view, the
earthquake began to fade away.
My mother once said, I have such
bright eyes, if someone looks in to them
once, that person never will be able to
forget them. May be she had said the truth.
From the beginning that woman must had
been recognized me.
I did a quick calculation in my mind.
Before, the ratio between the persons I
killed and spared was nine to one, but it is
now nine to three or three to one.
I wanted to run and find those three of
them. Tell them thank you for living. Tell
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her thank you for telling thank you for

sparing them, changing my murderous
fate, giving me a chance to start a brand
new life. However, I just was sitting on the
bench looking at the rolling waves. Then
finally, after nine years of my mother’s
death I began to cry, cry loudly pouring all
my heart content.