HOW TO TAKE THE

NEXT STEPS IN THE

MASTER/SLAVE
LIFESTYLE

THE NEXT STEP

WHY IS IT SO HARD?

That next step can be tricky, whether you're a beginner or an established

BDSM practitioner. I have been there; it can be so hard to take that step
forward into the Master/slave lifestyle. I remember how much time it took me
to put "I am looking for a 24/7" on my profile.

But the truth is we often have no idea what we really want.

Because of this, we can feel overwhelmed, thinking we must know for sure
before we search for someone (be that play or relationship). And so we do
nothing.

For example, if we are a complete beginner, we're not even sure what fetishes
we may like or not. We need to experience them first to figure this out. And if
you have more experience but are just starting to look for a 24/7 long-term
relationship, you do not really know what you want.

So what can we do about this?

STEP 1
STOP BELIEVING YOU NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING
AND BE 100% CERTAIN

This is one of the most important steps; if you can do this, you can move
forward into the lifestyle!

Instead of believing that we need to know everything before taking the

following steps, we look to explore and take experiments that allow us to find
out what we really want.
STEP 2
BREAK DOWN WHAT YOU KNOW YOU WANT WITH
WHAT YOU THINK YOU WANT
List down what you think you want
and what you actually know you
want.
Whether you're just starting in the
scene in general or just starting to
look for 24/7, (it is ok if you do not
know what you actually want, as
step 3 is here to help).
So be honest. When you say there
is something you really want, have
you experienced it? And how much
experience have you had? If you
have only seen it on videos in porn,
then you do not know! And if you
say you love hard-core bondage
but have only been in handcuffs,
perhaps you need more experience.
FREE TOOL: IN THE
BECOMING A
MASTER/SLAVE
COURSE, I HAVE A
MODEL THAT
This is the same for relationships as HELPS YOU
well. What sort of M/s relationship
do you really want. The only way
you can find out is by
IDENTIFY THE M/S
experimenting and having
experiences with more long-term
RELATIONSHIP
sessions.
YOU WANT.
Free Tool: In the Becoming a
Master/slave course, I have a
CHECK IT OUT
model that helps you identify the (Check the free preview on
M/s relationship you want. module 12 near the bottom of
the page)
And the module it is in is available
as a free preview (check module
1.2 near the bottom of the page) -
so check it out!
 STEP 3
USE EXPERIMENTS TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU
ACTUALLY NEED

This is one of the most important steps. Rather than thinking you must know everything
before searching, change what you're searching for to look for experiments and experiences
which allow you to find out what you really want.

Let's say you're a beginner. You do not need to worry that people will not want to play with
you because you're new or lack experience. There are many Masters and Tops that love to
take beginners and give them their first experiences.

So search for these people to have the experiences you need to find out what you really
want.

And if you're looking for 24/7 - be open that you're just searching and you're not 100%
sure, but this is what you think you want, and you're looking for people to help you figure
that out.

Masters especially appreciate that honesty.

WHO IS SLAVE PHIL?

Since I was a young 4-year old, I remember having strong feelings of
submission (and some domination). So I believe I was born this way. At
times those feelings waned, but by the time I was a teenager, I was back to
having extreme fantasies of control.

On the second day, I had the internet (using AOL when that was a thing). I
typed in words around Mastery and slavery and found websites where
other people spoke AND lived the lifestyle. My mind was blown that these
fantasies I had had since I was 4 were not just in me but in other people as
well. When I was 20, the feelings to serve were so big vs the now fading
shame that I started to serve.

This decision has led to a global exploration of the Master/slave scene. I

have served Masters long-term from East Coast Australia to the West Coast
of the USA, South Africa to Finland - and many countries in between. And it
also led to me moving to Berlin.

There have been incredible times when my heart and soul have sung a song
of such joy and completeness I struggle to know how other people can't live
like this.

With my business skills as a coach and consultant and my experience - I

realised I was in a unique position to help others. To learn about themselves
and not make the same mistakes I did. And so MSL was born on a cold
February in 2018.
STEP 4
FOR MOST OF US, THIS MEANS GETTING OUR
ONLINE PROFILE CORRECT. ARE WE SELLING AND
POSITIONING OURSELVES IN THE RIGHT WAY.

For most of us, this means getting our
online profile correct. Are we selling
and positioning ourselves in the right
way.
If you're not honest, it only leads
to disappointment on both sides.
The slave has a scene they were CHECK OUT
not ready for, and the Master feels

I have interviewed many real Masters

on the scene - some looking for play
and many looking for a genuine long-
term relationship. Their number 1
issue was slaves lying about their
experiences.
So for any profile, we must ensure we
are honest about our experience and
what we are looking for.
they were set up for failure and THE FETISH
lied to.
PROFILE
Make sure your profile is written
in the right way. Are you just UPGRADE IF
looking for a play, or are you
looking for something long-term? YOU WANT
Because if you try and find a long-
term relationship with a profile HELP WITH
written for play, you might have

So if you think you want a hard trouble finding people who view YOUR PROFILE.
Master but are not sure. You can still you as being genuine.
look for this, but be honest about
your experience. Being honest means, Check out the Fetish Profile
the Master can bring you into the Upgrade if you want help with
scene in the right way. If you're new, your profile.
they know to build up slowly rather
than come in too fast (which is
something they would do if you tell
them you want it and you have lots of
experience).
STEP 5
DEEPEND THE RELATIONSHIP WITH
COMMUNICATION
One thing that has come up
repeatedly with all the
Master/slave relationships I
have interviewed is the
importance of communication.
This includes how both sides can
communicate their needs and -
and as importantly - to be heard
by the other person. This is a
skill that requires practice.
This can shock people new to
the scene - surely the slave has
no rights and does not say
anything, and it is all up to the
Master.
STEP 6
MAKE A DECISION ON OWNERSHIP
Well done if you're in this stage.
You have found someone you like,
so what do you now do?
Like before, try not to put lots of
pressure on THE DECISION.
Instead, spend time getting to
know the person - slave or Master.
Visit again and often and slowly
build up confidence.
When things go wrong, can you
talk about it and communicate well.
Or do you end up fighting and
never resolving the issues and
blaming each other?
But this is not true. The reality of the
Master/slave relationship is that
relationships only survive for the long
term through communication and both
sides supporting and fulfilling each
other needs. Relationships where this is
not done rarely last.
Listen to the Podcast episode of
PhoenixLTHR - he is one of the more
intense and extreme Masters I
interviewed. You will be surprised as to
the importance they had on
communication. And after 18 years of
relationship, you can see it has worked.
And when you think about a trial,
instead think about trials - people
can put a lot of pressure on one
visit to decide whether they
should live together. But instead,
think about many visits.
And slowly, the confidence will
build-up, so the Master and slave
will clearly know whether it is
correct or not for them. It takes
the pressure off and builds up
confidence.
MORE HELP?
ARE YOU STRUGGLING TO ATTRACT
THE RIGHT PEOPLE WITH YOUR
PROFILE?
FIND OUT HOW TO UPGRADE YOUR PROFILE AND
FINALLY ATTRACT MASTERS OR SLAVES THAT WILL
ADORE YOU

FIND OUT MORE

FIND THE REAL MASTER/SLAVE

FROM YOUR FANTASY WITH THE
MASTER/SLAVE COURSE
FIND OUT WHAT YOU ARE TRULY LOOKING FOR

Struggling to know what step to take to find a Master or slave

Feeling overwhelmed with a too big decision
Feeling frightened or shame about your desire

FIND OUT MORE

DON’T YOU DESERVE TO FIND

THE MASTER/SLAVE YOU
ALWAYS WANTED?
MAKE THE FANTASY COME TRUE

Find about the Master/slave Signature Coaching

Programme that gives you everything you need to find
the Master/slave you’ve always wanted.

FIND OUT MORE