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GROUP WORK QUESTION: THE GIRIAMA COMMUNITY

UNIT NAME: FAMILY LAW

UNIT CODE: CLS 201

LECTURER/ADVOCATE OF HIGH COURT OF KENYA: NJERI KANGETHE

NAMES REGISTRATION NUMBER

1. KARAU JOSEPH 1049014

2. FOZIA HASSAN 1048845

3. FRANKLINE OCHIENG’ 1049723

4. FRANCIS KARANJA KATITU 1049705

5. TERRY NG’INA SANDIMU 1050401

6. JUDEH NGUGI WAITHAKA 1048750

7. REBEKAH OMWENO 1051343

8. JULIANA SYRIA 1050403

9. GATANNA KIIRU 1048785

10. MRIPHE MUNGA 1049706

11. KIMBERLY CHEPTOO 1048798

12. NDUKU VIRGINIA 1049738

13. MICHAEL MAXWELL 1050608

14. JOY MUSENYA KITUNGA 1052015

15. MIYA CHEPNG’ENO 1049726

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Contents
TABLE OF CONTENTS ......................................................................................................................... 2
ABSTRACT ......................................................................................................................................... 3
INTRODUCTION ................................................................................................................................. 3
Conditions for Marriage................................................................................................................. 3
How the boy meets the girl ............................................................................................................ 4
Negotiation of dowry (Malozi) ....................................................................................................... 6
4. Kulazha Mahari (Dowry Payment) .............................................................................................. 7
Wedding ceremony (kuhaswa) ...................................................................................................... 7
After the wedding.......................................................................................................................... 8
Other rights Associated with the wedding ......................................................................................... 9
Kuzulia muryango (to block the door) ............................................................................................ 9
Kuhasa (blessings) ......................................................................................................................... 9

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ABSTRACT
This document focuses on the African customary marriage among the Giriama community. It
looks at the various rites from when the boy meets the girl to the marriage ceremony. Further,
it delves into the ceremonies that take place in preparation for the wedding and the role both
families play in this. Additionally, it checks on the traditional names for the ceremonies, rites
of passage, key players, food and drinks served, and the negotiation and payment of dowry.
The research has been carried out from various websites and also an inquiry from a member
of the community.

INTRODUCTION
The Giriama community is a subgroup of the Mijikenda, found in the coastal region of
Kenya. From time immemorial Marriage in Africa has been contracted under the customary
law of the people 1 this was also the same for the Giriama community There are various
customs that dictate how the marriage ceremony is to be carried out and it had to be met, the
various processes are meeting of the parents, visiting the home (Aria), negotiation of dowry
(malozi), payment of dowry(Kulazha Mali), Blessings (kuhasa) and the wedding ceremony
(Kuhaswa)

Conditions for Marriage


In the Giriama community, before one is married, he or she should undergo certain rights. For
the boys, one should be circumcised and once they are circumcised, they are transformed into
men. For the girls, on the night of their first menstruation, they should be secluded for the
entire period of their cycle, a period which is referred to as memarche’ after which they are
taught about their future duties as wives and mothers. 2This was done to prepare them for
marriage and also to find them a suitable suitor.

1
MS Njeri Kangethe’s day 5 notes the 5th slide
2
‘Notes on Native Law and Custom in Kenya: I on JSTOR’ <https://www.jstor.org/stable/744558> accessed 1st
October 2023

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How the boy meets the girl
In the Giriama community marriage was a parent's affair They would find suitors for their
children by observing families around them and checking various issues about the family
some of these issues were: morals, hard work, and historical background. This was done to
ascertain that the girl their son will be involved with is up to par with their expectations. Once
the parents of the boy ascertained this there are various ways in which they will approach the
girl's family.

The first way is they go to the bride’s home and after introducing themselves the father of the
man will say “Fudzire mala mala mudzungu wa utsunguni” which means we have come
to look for the cucumber that is painful. The Father of the girl will answer “nanmambale”
which means let the painful cucumber spread. 3 The girl is then called by the father and asked
any question that will take time to answer. The reason why they delay the girl with the
questions is so as to look and observe her body language. If the man's parents are impressed
by the girl's character and presentation, they say they are contented and then fix a date for the
man to see the girl for the first time.

The man is then accompanied by friends and cousins to come and meet the girl. When they
get there, the man says that he has been sent by his father to come and pay a visit to the
village. The girl's father understands and calls for his daughter to bring some water to the
visitors. The man is not necessarily thirsty but takes the opportunity to make the girl stay
there for some time so that he can observe her physical features. When contented the man
tells the grandma of the girl that”mautin ni toto”-meaning he is pleased.

The man and the girl are then put in one room so that they can introduce themselves to one
another and this is how it goes-: They tell their names first then:”Nidzire haha henu Kwa
sababu nidza fahirwa ni nne, je unnambadze?”-I have come to your home because I have
a passion for you, what do you say about that? The girl may decide to conceal her feelings-
“sidzihisi ma mtu yoyosi mino” I do not feel for anybody. The man goes on persuading

3
Unknown, ‘Elimu Asilia: Kuhaswa - Traditional Giriama Wedding...’ (Elimu Asilia, 17 August 2012)
<http://elimuasilia1.blogspot.com/2012/08/kuhaswa-traditional-giriama-wedding.html> accessed 1st October
2023

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her”Mwanzangu umudzo zhomu ma mahedzu niknhale fukale hammenga siku zosi”My
friend you are so cute and I wish I marry you we be together for the rest of our lives. The girl
shrugs her shoulders meaning that she has agreed but can say it verbally. The man stands and
hugs the bride then he goes out of the house. He tells the grandma that things are okay and
they leave. The man tells his parents he is pleased and procedures follow. 4

The second way is a man would spot a young lady from a certain home, admire her, and
immediately inform the parents that he has found a suitor in that home so the parents to
investigate the family and see if it is up to the required standard. The parents from the young
man’s side will visit the young lady’s home and ask “Vidze yo nyumba ina mwenye?” This
is to ask, Does the house have an owner?’ this was a question asked to the girl's parents to
inquire if the girl was engaged. If not the girl's parents would send their daughter to take
water to the visitors (in-laws-to-be). They will receive it, sip the water then give it back as the
girl walks away the man's parent asses her. She is later asked if she likes the man whose
parents have visited, if she agrees the man will later visit the home but if she does not the
man has to forget about her.5

The third way was after training a mother gushed about her daughter after after training and
thus took her to events where she would find a suitor. Whereas a father would advise his son
to go out and look for a suitable suitor. Most times boys and girls would meet at ‘kinyaka’ a
place where they would practice dancing that would e done during the ‘pingano’ a dance
competition held every rest day they peformed dances like ‘mabumbumbu’ and ‘sengenya
‘ in which during this dances a man would identify a woman then would later propose, or a
lady would admire a man and wish him to be her husband, however the lady would just die
with the feeling since it is against the Giriama culture for a lady to propose to a man. The
lady would just wait for a chance. One would be admired on the basis of their performance
during the dancing.6

4
‘The Giriama Community of Kenya’ (Google Arts & Culture) <https://artsandculture.google.com/story/the-
giriama-community-of-kenya/CQVxWZ0XYqhsIw> accessed 1st October 2023

5
Elizabeth Maisha George page 22 ‘A STUDY COMMUNICATIVE EFFECTIVENESS IN GIRIAMA
WEDDING’
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‘CLS201 - Giriama Marriage.Docx - The Giriama | Course Hero’
<https://www.coursehero.com/file/117663374/GIRIAMA-MARRIAGEdocx/> accessed 1st October 2023

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Negotiation of dowry (Malozi)
Malozi is the inception of negotiation and dowry payment as the man would have told his
parents the girl he plans to betroth7. The man’s parents would then carry with them
‘kadzama ya uchi wa mnazi’ ( eight bottles of coconut palm wine) to the girl’s home. The
damsel to be married is called and asked, Uno uchi niwahani? (Whose wine is this?) and if
her parents should consume the wine. The girl mentions the man’s name and tells her parents
to enjoy the ‘mnazi’ when making a rejoinder to the two questions respectively. This is
imperative in that it reveals that the girl has acceded to be married. The girl puts the ‘uchi wa
mnazi’ (liquor from the coconut palm tree)8 in a ‘mboko’ (goblet) while kneeling. The
kneeling denotes the severe suffering the parents went through when getting her.
Consequently, she sips it and if she is unable, she hands it to her father who would pour down
a bit of it on the ground as libation to assuage the ancestors then drinks the rest. Most often,
the same visit may be used purposively for inquiring about the dowry. The man’s parents
would be shown ‘pishi’ which is a container with a mass of 2kg of maize flour but
contextually, it meant the actual dowry required. The man’s family would then discuss
among themselves and quote the figure they would wish to pay which would be relayed to the
girl’s family and the same would be done by the girl’s family. In case the dowry turns out to
be too high, it may emblem that the man has not been accepted by the girl’s kin. After the
inquiry is made, the man’s parents would give ‘kadzama ya mfunga’ ( eight bottles of
closing) or ‘kufunga mryango’ (closing the door) on purpose to ensure that no other man
comes for the lady.

7
Unknown, ‘Elimu Asilia: Kuhaswa - Traditional Giriama Wedding...’ (Elimu Asilia, 17 August 2012)
<http://elimuasilia1.blogspot.com/2012/08/kuhaswa-traditional-giriama-wedding.html> accessed 1st October
2023

8
‘The Giriama Community of Kenya’ (Google Arts & Culture) <https://artsandculture.google.com/story/the-
giriama-community-of-kenya/CQVxWZ0XYqhsIw> accessed 1 October 2023

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4. Kulazha Mahari (Dowry Payment)
Among the Giriama, the dowry payment (Kulazha Mahari) is one very significant ceremony
as far as marriage is concerned. This is when gifts are presented to the girl's family by the
man's kin as a token of appreciation for the bride. Bride price may be in the form of cash,
animals, drinks, or all of the above. The invited members are to bring chicken to be eaten by
everyone at the ceremony. If the bride price is in the form of livestock, the man's kin is
required to bring ‘ng'ombe nane mbiche na nzao’; eig ht cows and a bull. If in the form of
cash, it's placed on a mat (sumilani) after which the ‘Mgiriama’ (a spokes person of the
family)from both sides will count to confirm that it is the right amount. Afterward, the money
is set aside and they drink ‘uchi wa mwana’; the liquor of the child. Traditionally, the liquor
is to enable the man to sire children. if the man fails to bring the liquor, in case of separation,
divorce, or death in the future, the children will be claimed by the girl's kinsmen. The bride’s
mother is the one to put the liquor in the traditional glass, ‘mboko’ (goblet) and hand it over
to the people to drink. The putting of liquor into the ‘mboko’ is called kutsoha. This is done
in a wooden container with the shape of a bowl, it is a Mijikenda utensil called ‘mvure’.
Mvure was one of the utensils used mostly in the Giriama community about two decades
ago, though still found in some homes today. The liquor that pours in the mvure will be
drunk by the mother or otherwise, she can sell it to those who want to drink. She pours the
liquor on purpose. During this period, there is drinking and eating, for people to make merry.
They sing and dance. 9 There's also a goat, ‘mbuzi ya ini’, that is brought. This goat's liver is
to be tasted by the girl's parents. After all is said and done, the girl's parents bestow their
blessings and then there's singing and dancing. The Giriama dowry payment ceremony is no
different from other African traditional ceremonies. It is a joyous occasion that unites
families, as it symbolizes the union of two individuals. It is a timeless tradition that continues
to be an essential part of Giriama culture.

Wedding ceremony (kuhaswa)


On the eve of the wedding day, the groom comes with some of his relatives to the bride’s
home and with them, they bring a suitcase. The suitcase contains the bride’s new clothes, the
practice is called ‘kuhirika sanduku’. The suitcase is wrapped with a [leso] ‘mkamba wa

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Elizabeth Maisha George page 28 ‘A STUDY COMMUNICATIVE EFFECTIVENESS IN GIRIAMA
WEDDING’

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mwana’ that has words printed on it that is associated with love or farewell such as ‘ ndoa
yenu ibarikiwe milele’ [may your marriage be blessed forever].

Among the Agiriama community, the ceremony always takes place at the groom’s home. The
morning of the ceremony, the bride leaves her home early to go to the groom’s home a
practice that is called ‘mivuri ya kuchu’. On arrival, she is taken around the compound to be
introduced to her husband’s ancestors.

The ceremony then begins in the evening. During the ceremony, the groom wears a cow’s
skin accompanied by an ‘uta’ [bow] as a sign of strength and ability to protect the bride. The
bride hence wears a ‘rinda’ [dress] and ‘mkamba wa mwana ‘ [leso] given to her by her
friend ‘somo’ round the waist. The bride also wears ‘mapambo’ [makeup decorations] done
by her aunts.

The chief elder then officiates the wedding in the presence of both families. He then says a
‘voya’ [ a prayer] for the ancestors to bless the couple as they start their family. The couple
are then blessed by both sides of their families and senior members of the society. The
ceremony involves music, dancing, gifts and the father-in-law would then bless the new
couple by spitting water onto the chests of the couple.

The bride’s family has to cook food for their in-laws that would be shared among themselves
during the ceremony. The bride then has to serve food to her groom covered in a ‘mkamba
wa mwana’ [leso] accompanied by her ‘musema’ [bridesmaid].

After the wedding


In Giriama tradition, after the wedding the grandmothers will accompany the bride and the
groom to their home and the grandmothers will leave after three days. During the three days,
the bride is advised on how to treat her husband and handle him, especially in bed. She is
given lessons on how to be obedient and to treat her husband with respect. The grandmothers
will also advise the bride that mwiko ugeswe baada ya kuchakana wari, that is, the cooking
stick must be cleaned after cooking. The cooking here implies sex and the cooker stick is the
penis which the wife should clean after sex. The grandchild is given a piece of cloth for the
purpose of cleaning the mwiko. The act of sex is made equivalent to the grating of coconuts.
Nazi ikunwe pore pore kisha kosi kosi. A coconut should be grated gently and all round.
This implies that sex should not be hurried and the woman should be active. Mucha asikale
kitandani, a woman is not a log in bed. A log is not flexible and a woman is expected to be
flexible in bed. She is told that while sleeping, when the husband sleeps on his right, the wife

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should sleep on her left, this will ensure they face each other which is very healthy for
married couples. The lady will be reminded on issues of cleanliness making sure their bed is
always made. If the bed is made and the husband insists that she should go make the bed,
kanihandikire kitanda, she should know that the husband needs her. She should not
comment about having made it already. The bride will also be warned against uzinzi , being
unfaithful. An unfaithful woman is referred to as mzinzi. If a woman was caught on the act or
the husband suspected her, the man involved pays a fine known as Malu. After the three days
of lessons, the grandmothers are given presents and they go back home. It is on this night that
the groom and bride can share the bed. After some days the man sends a message to the
grandmother of the bride and tells her “wanirindira mhunga wangu” to mean you took care
of my rice. “Kautoterwe ni songo" it was not eaten by the birds. This means that the girl was
a virgin but if not, then he will tell the grandmother ‘ mhungwa wangu watotwa ni tsongo' my
rice was eaten by the birds. If the rice was not eaten by birds, the grandmother will be
brought more presents but if the rice was eaten by birds the grandmother will be given
unground tobacco put in a hollow basket to symbolize that the girl was not a virgin

Other rights Associated with the wedding


Kuzulia muryango (to block the door)
The brothers of the girl normally ask to be given a token in the form of money and this they
do by standing at the door to the bride’s house blocking any of their access until they have
been given something in the form of cash ranging from Ksh1000- Ksh3000. At this point, the
role of the best man is to carry on with negotiations and agree on the amount they are to give
out.

Kuhasa (blessings)
This is a ceremony where the bride’s parents, aunts and uncles and sometime grandfathers
speak words of blessings to the bride and groom . it normally happens at dawn mivuri ya
kucha . During kuhasa, the mother in most cases ties a leso round her waist tightening her
stomach. This leso is normally bought by the son-in-law 35 days before the wedding day.
This leso in the wedding context is referred to as mkamba wa mwana, that is ‘shuka for
carrying a baby.’

During the blessing ceremony, the one blessing holds a ‘kaha’ a container for scooping
water. This container is made from a coconut shell which is attached to a stick. After
speaking words of blessings, one sips some water and then sprinkles it on the chest and legs

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of the bride and the groom. The water is a symbol of cleansing and blessing as the couple
begins their new life. 10

Brantley C, ‘Gerontocratic Government: Age-Sets in Pre-Colonial Giriama’ (1978) 48


10

Africa: Journal of the International African Institute 248

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BIBLIOGRAPHY

<https://www.jstor.org/stable/744558> accessed 1st October 2023

<http://elimuasilia1.blogspot.com/2012/08/kuhaswa-traditional-giriama-wedding.html>
accessed 1st October 2023

<https://artsandculture.google.com/story/the-giriama-community-of-
kenya/CQVxWZ0XYqhsIw> accessed 1st October 2023

<https://www.coursehero.com/file/117663374/GIRIAMA-MARRIAGEdocx/> accessed 1st


October 2023

<http://elimuasilia1.blogspot.com/2012/08/kuhaswa-traditional-giriama-wedding.html>
accessed 1st October 2023

<https://artsandculture.google.com/story/the-giriama-community-of-
kenya/CQVxWZ0XYqhsIw> accessed 1 October 2023

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