There was a duck who walked into a store and said, “got any candy?

” The storekeeper said, “no, we don’t.”

The next day, the duck went into the same store and asked the same thing and got the same anwer. The
duck kept going back every day for a week and asked the same thing and kept getting the same answer
until the store keeper got so angry he said, “if you come in here and ask that again, I will hit you on the
head with a hammer!” The next day, the duck walks into the store and asks, “got a hammer?” The store
keeper says, “no.” Then the duck asks, “got any candy?

” A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've
ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man
next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on,
I'll hold your monkey for you.

A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a
sailor to get him his red shirt.

The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?”

The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys don’t notice and aren’s discouraged.” They fight off
the pirates eventually.

The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, “Get
me my brown pants!”

A little boy asked his father: “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”

The father replied: “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

There was a couple sleeping. The wife had a bad dream, she woke up scared and cried.

Her husband comforted her and asked why she cried, she replied: “I had a dream that a very rich and
handsome man kidnapped me from you.”

Husband: “It is ok honey, it was just a dream.”

Wife responded loudly: “That is why I’m crying.”