Being Yourself Journal

By

Roma Sharma
© Roma Sharma, 2020

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in
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romasharma.com
Disclaimer
While all attempts have been made to verify the information provided in this publication, neither
author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions or interpretations on
the subject matter herein.

This book is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the author
alone and should be implemented by the reader at his/her responsibility. The information
provided is of a general nature only. Inferences from examples, suggestions and opinions are
made based on the experiences of the author and should not be used as a substitute for a
professional opinion. The views expressed in this book should not be taken as expert
instructions or commands.

The author does not tend to imply any particular problem or situation to be related specifically
to the male gender or the female one. The gender neutrality of the characters needs to be
maintained on part of the reader and the context needs to be seen irrespective of the gender
being used.
Table Of Contents
Also By Roma
State Change Tool
Fear
Hurt
Anger
Guilt
Self-Coaching Questions
When you are feeling stuck
When you are trying to influence someone
Unsolicited Influence
Handling Distressing Events
Motivate yourself
Pursue Your Goals
Goal Setting
Goal Definition
Value List
Daily Routines
Daily Morning questions
Daily Evening questions
Enhance your Efficiency
The Worry Journal
Affirmations
Affirmations for Self-Esteem
Affirmations for Success
Journal Template
About the Author
Further Reading
Stay in Touch
Also By Roma

Book 1: What Will People Think?

Book 2: Thinking Habits For Definite Success

Book 3: What Will Make You Happy?

ONLINE COURSE
Get lifetime access to my online course at 80% OFF:
The Guide to Finding your Perfect Partner
State Change Tool

Fear
Fear is a signal from the body that something important is about to happen and we need to be
ready for it. Fear by itself is not harmful. It becomes harmful when we get paralyzed by the
fear and don’t take any action. Imagining worst-case scenarios or catastrophizing makes the
fear worse.

When you feel fearful, ask yourself:

● Can I make a plan to deal with the future situation that is causing this fear?
● Is there any reason to believe that I can not handle this situation if it were to
happen?

Hurt
Hurt is a feeling that is generated by a sense of loss. We might have some expectations that
have not been met. There might also be a false perception that someone is trying to hurt us.

Ask yourself:
 ● Is there really a loss here?

● Can I appropriately communicate my feelings to the concerned person?

Anger
We feel angry when an important rule or standard that we hold for ourselves has been violated
by someone. Here, it helps to remember that people might not know what is important to us.

Ask yourself:

● Are my rules necessarily the right rules, even if I feel strongly about them?

● How can I communicate the importance of my standards to the person concerned?

● In the long run, does this person really care about me?

● What can I learn from this situation?

Guilt
We experience guilt when we violate an important standard that we hold for ourselves.

If you are experiencing guilt, commit yourself to ensure that the undesired behavior never
happens again. After the commitment, let go of whatever happened by empathizing with
yourself. Things happen even when we don’t consciously choose to do them.

Ask yourself:

● Which standard of mine have I violated?

● Can I commit to ensuring it will not happen again and let go?
Self-Coaching Questions
When we are in a difficult situation—maybe we are feeling stuck, trying to get someone to
comply with us or improve on our existing results—it really helps to ask ourselves some well-
crafted questions. In the process of answering these questions, we develop new neural
pathways inside our brain and figure out solutions that are perfect for us—solutions that
another person might not have been able to give us.

When you are feeling stuck

Feeling stuck can cloud our minds with things that are not going well for us. Our subconscious
mind tries to complete whatever it pictures. So, if we keep images of things that we don’t want,
we end up attracting those same things into our life. Hence, it is important to focus on what
we want and the resources we have to get it rather than what we don’t want.

If you feel stuck, ask yourself these questions:

● What is great about this problem?

------------------

● What is not perfect yet?

------------------

● What do I want in this situation?

------------------

● How badly do I want it?

------------------

● What am I willing to do to make things the way I want?

------------------

● What is the smallest thing I can do to take myself toward what I want?

------------------
 ● If I were to imagine moving forward, what would I be doing?

------------------

When you are trying to influence someone

If you are in a situation where you have been trying to influence someone and have had little
luck, you can increase your chances of influencing the person by asking yourself these
questions:

● What exactly do I want from this person?

● What are the three things that lie inside my circle of influence that I can work on?
● How will my working on these three areas impact the person I am trying to influence
into giving me what I want?
● What actions can I take on these areas right away?

(To understand the circle of influence please read my book, ‘What will people think?’ which is
available on all storefronts. Find the book on romasharma.com)

Unsolicited Influence
You might have experienced unwanted influence from people in your environment.
Maybe they were trying to discourage you from following your dreams or telling you
what you should do with your life. They might believe that they know what is best for
you or might be trying to protect you from something because of their limiting beliefs.

Next time you receive suggestions or advice that demotivates you from following your
dreams, pause for a moment and check:

● Does this person really know a lot more about the field in question than you
do?
● Has this person taken the time and effort to understand you as a person?
● Has this person strived out of his/her comfort zone to achieve any goals?

If the answers to the above questions are ‘yes’ then you might need to consider what
is being said to you. Otherwise, you can accordingly assign a value to the incoming
suggestions.

Handling Distressing Events

We have all been in situations where we said something in a fit of rage, only to regret it later.
Sometimes we could not respond at all, and that bothered us more. If you find yourself in a
distressing situation, you can answer these questions in a calm state of mind to introspect.
Motivate yourself
Desire is the secret to motivation. We don’t always feel equally motivated to carry out our
activities. Sometimes we start an activity with enthusiasm, only to see it fizzle out with time.
Then sometimes we are so excited about something that we don’t need any motivation to
persist.

When you experience a lack of motivation in doing a task, you can pause and ask yourself the
questions mentioned below. They will connect you to your special qualities, which will give you
the desire you need to move you towards your goals.

The more you think about your amazing qualities and achievements, the more energized you
are to recreate that experience.

1. Name three special qualities of yours. Which quality do you love the most?

2. Write three of your greatest achievements to date.

3. What is the biggest challenge you have overcome in your life?

4. Write the three best compliments you have received from anyone.

5. What is that one thing you can do better than most people? What is your unfair advantage?
Pursue Your Goals
Clearly defining goals, creating a plan to achieve them and efficiently executing the plan are
the key steps in succeeding in any endeavor.
A clear sight of our goals is like guidance from a lighthouse during the stormy disturbances of
our day-to-day life.
We start with defining our long-term goals—where we want to be and what we want to achieve
in 10 years. Using that information, we backtrack and set goals for 1 year, 3 months, every
month and so on. We need to define our short-term goals in a way that align and lead to the
achievement of our long-term goals.
Written goals are far more powerful than goals that we think or verbally state. Writing makes
the goal a part of our unconscious process and enables us to execute our plans.

Goal Setting
Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? Detail the visualization as much as possible—
where are you, what are you doing? What have you achieved?

What 3 things—if you achieved—you would feel like your life is moving forward:

In 1 year

------------------

In 3 months

------------------

In 1 month

------------------

In Day-to-day

------------------

What are your top 3 priorities?

for the week

------------------

for the month

------------------

for the quarter

------------------

for the year

------------------

● Write your goals and give a timeline to each of them.

● Write what makes you committed to achieving this goal.

● What kind of person do you need to be to achieve all that you want? Write a
paragraph describing all the character traits, skills, abilities, beliefs that you need to
develop in order to achieve these goals that you have set for yourself.

Goal Definition
When you are trying to define a goal and feel you cannot find a way forward, ask yourself
these simple questions to focus on what you want and how you can achieve it.

● What do I want?

● By when do I want it?

● How will I know when I have it?

● What resources do I have to help me with this?

● How can I best use the resources that I have?

● What other resources do I need? How will I create them?

● What are the first steps that I can take to get what I want?

Value List
If your goal were to materialize, what would that get you?
You need to know your values before deciding on your goal. If you choose a goal that isn’t
aligned with your core values, you might experience dissatisfaction even after you have
achieved it.

• Authenticity
• Achievement
• Adventure
• Authority
• Tranquillity
• Balance
• Freedom
• Boldness
• Compassion
• Challenge
• Tolerance
• Community
• Competency
• Contribution
• Creativity
• Curiosity
• Determination
• Fairness
• Faith
• Fame
• Friendships
• Fun
• Growth
• Happiness
• Honesty
• Humor
• Stability
• Status
• Spirituality
• Self-control
• Sensitivity
• Discipline
• Inner Harmony
• Playfulness
• Justice
• Kindness
• Knowledge
• Leadership
• Learning
• Love
• Loyalty
• Mindfulness
• Openness
• Optimism
• Peace
• Pleasure
• Poise
• Popularity
• Recognition
• Religion
 • Reputation
• Respect
• Cheerfulness
• Entertainment
• Enthusiasm
• Responsibility
• Security
• Self-Respect
• Service
• Stability
• Success
• Status
• Trustworthiness
• Wealth
• Wisdom
• Diversity
• Awareness
• Benevolence
• Beauty
• Truth
• Understanding
• Uniqueness
• Equality
• Sacrifice
• Privacy
• Excellence

It is beneficial to work with people who share your values. It helps build rapport and achieve
better results as a team.

Daily Routines
Establishing daily routines helps you save energy in deciding what to do every day. Once
you set your routine, you have made your decision about how to structure your time.
Repeating the action every day makes it a part of your unconscious process.

Daily Morning questions

If you don’t set your priorities for the day at the beginning of your day, it is tough to set it in the
middle of a panic situation. Asking questions first thing in the morning helps us clarify what we
want from the day before the challenges for the day kick in.

1. What are my 3 objectives for the day?

------------------
2. What am I happy about in my life right now?

------------------

3. What am I proud of?

------------------

4. What am I grateful for?

------------------

5. What am I committed to doing?

------------------

6. What am I enjoying?

------------------

Daily Evening questions

Asking questions before we sleep triggers the brain to work things out. It gives us a way to
evaluate what is going well for us and what we can do better. This learning gets carried forward
to the next day and improves productivity incrementally.

1. What did I do well today?

------------------

2. What could I have done better?

------------------

3. What did I learn today?

------------------

4. How has today added to the quality of my life?

------------------

5. How has today added to the quality of someone else’s life?

------------------

6. Did I do my best to...

....keep myself happy?

....learn something new today?

....make time for the things I consider important?

....find purpose and meaning today?

....develop my health and energy?

....take my business forward? Choose 3 actions that did so.

....build positive relationships?

....provide great value to my clients?

....wish unconditional success and happiness to two people?

.....create value/ learn something new/ build relationships/ set objectives?

7. Have I taken responsibility for how I spend my time, energy and focus?

------------------

8. What are the 3 most important outcomes for tomorrow?

------------------

Please note:

● Customize your questions to meet your personal and emotional needs.

● In a day, many distractions consume our time. Building in review points helps us
improve productivity.

● Find a buddy coach or someone whom you can report your progress to. You will also
follow up on your buddy’s actions towards his/her goals. If we have to report to
somebody else, it gives us the incentive to follow through. Buddy coaching is very
useful in being accountable to ourselves while pursuing our goals.

Enhance your Efficiency

To become more efficient in your tasks, ask yourself these questions:

● To reach your objective, what are you going to do more of?

 ● What are you going to do less of or stop doing?

● What are you already doing well and will continue doing? (don’t throw the baby out
with the bathwater)

● What are you going to accept? (something you don’t want to do but you realize you
ought to in order to be successful)

Check if something is worth spending time on by asking yourself:

1. Will it add value to me or others in the future?

2. Is it moving me towards my outcome?

3. Will it help others move towards their outcomes?

If the response to these questions is yes, then you can consider the activity as important.
Otherwise, it might be just another distraction—something that seems urgent but is not
important.

The Worry Journal

Whenever you find yourself anxious about something that is going to happen in the future,
pause and write your thoughts. What do you fear will happen? By when do you expect this
event to happen?

This journal is very useful to prevent ourselves from running over the hamster wheel—
one that keeps us at the same spot and drains us of our energy.
Over time, you will notice that many things you might have feared never happened at all. Your
journal will become an important source of evidence that worries rarely ever come true, and
even when they do, they are easy to handle.

Affirmations
Affirmations are thoughts we say to ourselves with complete conviction. What we believe to
be true for us in our worlds. Our thoughts become things as we hold on to them. Hence,
instead of thinking of things that we don’t want, if we focus on things we want, we have a
greater chance of manifesting them in our lives.

Affirmations for Self-Esteem

Allowing ourselves to be ourselves happily is a gift. If you ever feel like:

● you are not enough

● people are not happy with you

● you need to work harder to make people happy

● taking care of yourself is being selfish

Affirm the following statements to yourself in a gentle and loving voice:

It’s ok for me to be me.

It’s ok to have needs.

It’s ok to make mistakes.

It’s ok if other people become angry with me.

It’s important for me to take care of myself.

It’s ok to consider and please myself.

Affirmations for Success

Here are some powerful affirmations for success. Read through them and see which ones
you connect with the most. Repeat them to yourself with conviction every single day till the
thoughts seep into your unconscious mind. These affirmations can help you enter
resourceful states which can make you successful in your endeavors.

Every problem has a solution.

I have the power to create all the success I desire.

My mind is open to exciting possibilities.

I am worthy of all the good life offers. I deserve to be successful.

I am grateful for my skills and talents that serve me well.

I believe in myself and my ability to succeed.

There are endless opportunities for me, waiting to be unlocked. I recognize them when they
knock at my door and seize them.

I am committed to achieving my goals.

I enjoy solving problems that stand in my way. Finding solutions comes naturally to me.

I am grateful for all the abundance flowing into my life.

I stay focused on my vision and pursue my daily work with passion.

I step outside my comfort zone with courage and confidence.

Success comes naturally to me.

The way we talk to ourselves instantly changes the way we feel. Do you remember that critical
inner voice that gets angry with you when you make a mistake? Or that voice that speaks to
you compassionately when you need comforting?

Craft your own affirmations that are in line with the way you want to feel. Repeat these
affirmations slowly to yourself when you want to change your state to a bright, positive one.
The affirmations you write for yourself will work better for you than the ones suggested by
other people. This is primarily because you will be in a better position to understand your
desired thoughts and feelings than others.
Journal Template
Here is a daily journal template. Fill in your thoughts every day and pause every few weeks to
examine the direction in which you are headed. Writing your thoughts gives you a way to
examine your underlying beliefs, vent out your feelings when you need to, and also find your
solutions when you are feeling stuck. Your journal serves as a useful input to your coaching
sessions. It helps you decide which areas you would like to explore in-depth with your coach
and where you have made progress.
 About the Author

Roma Sharma is a Certified Coach and Trainer who has been working in the field of emotional
well-being since 2014. She runs a training company that authors programs for people from a
variety of backgrounds—the IT Industry, Educational Institutions, Counseling Academies, and
Hospitality Industry to name a few. She works with organizations to design programs that
specifically address their training needs.

Roma has a keen interest in understanding human behavior and connecting with people at a
deeper level. Besides training and coaching, she hosts a meetup in her city to discuss various
topics related to mental health. She likes to take up issues that her audience members
experience in their day-to-day life and provide them with clarity so that they can devise simple
solutions that work well for them. She has had the privilege of watching her clients become very
successful in attaining the transformation that they set out to achieve.

When she is not training, she loves to bake cakes, read books, and play with cats.

Credentials:
• B.E (CSE)
• Diploma in Counselling Skills, person-centered therapy
• International Certification in Transactional Analysis 101
• Foundation course in Transactional Analysis
• Master practitioner of NLP (ABNLP), NLP Trainer
• Advanced Diploma in Hypnosis (Business-NLP, UK)
Also By Roma

Book 1: What Will People Think?

Book 2: Thinking Habits For Definite Success

Book 3: What Will Make You Happy?

ONLINE COURSE
Get lifetime access to my online course at 80% OFF:
The Guide to Finding your Perfect Partner

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 © romasharma.com

First Edition Published 2020

All rights reserved