Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

Summary:

I chose to watch this YouTube video from Matt Abrahams due to thinking this would
give me a good start at understanding what techniques are key to having good communication
not only with individuals, but also larger group settings. Communication is not my strong suit, so
I thought this video could help me improve on my skills and grow more confident by
implementing his techniques into my conversations. This video helps with sub competency #1
(Determine Communication Strategies) but can also help with sub competency #4 (Facilitate
Communication among Individuals, Groups and Organizations), but my main focus was on sub-
competency #1. This video is 58 minutes long and the speaker is Matt Abrahams, who is a
lecturer of Strategic Communication at Stanford University.

What Was Talked About:

Spontaneous Speaking: Spontaneous speaking is more common than planned speaking

(preparing for a speech, or writing a paper) and when conducting a survey with students, it was
found that many students struggled with spontaneous speaking, and brings up “cold calls”. An
example of a cold call is when a teacher points to you out of nowhere and asks for you to answer
the question. Spontaneous speaking can allow you to adapt to any interruptions or questions that
are asked to be able to connect with the person and/or audience more when speaking.

Communication Techniques Agenda:

 Anxiety Management: I learned that public speaking is one of the biggest fears people
have in the US. One of the first steps he brings up does not focus on the speaker, but the
audience. Abraham brought up that when an audience is around a nervous speaker,
people might feel uncomfortable, so they might either just nod along, but don’t feel
intrigued or become disengaged. This does not help relieve the speaker’s anxiety, but
actually worsens it. So for the audience, their job is to help make the speaker more
comfortable by making themselves (the audience) more comfortable when listening to the
speaker. For everyone, including the audience and the speaker, the second step to anxiety
management is to tell when the symptoms begin and acknowledge it. For some, it might
start when greeting someone. For others, it could be when they are surrounded by a huge
crowd. People then tend to freak out at the thought of appearing nervous and it causes a
spiral. So when you feel the first symptoms appear, you can acknowledge that the anxiety
is there, and by doing this you can stem the anxiety that could spiral out of control. The
third and final step that can be done to help manage anxiety is to reframe how you see the
situation. Many people want to get it done right, so they frame the conversation and hype
it up as a big deal. What can be done to reduce that is to not see the conversation as a
 performance where you have to hit all the right notes and steps, but as a simple
conversation (Ex. Use questions to involve your audience, use conversational language,
be physically present/present oriented).
 Ground Rules: With the ground rules, I learned from Abraham four steps on why some
people aren’t good a communicating or get anxious about speaking. Step 1 is “Get
Ourselves Out of the Way”. With this step, he brings up that people want to be perfect.
We get in our own way with our efforts. A technique or game that he provides to help us
get out of your own way is to point at objects and purposefully give them the wrong
name. It has to be spontaneous and not have any sort of pattern. This can slowly but
surely weaken what had been imprinted into our mind and stop us from restricting from
acting spontaneously. The Step 2 is “See things as an Opportunity”. If you are given an
opportunity to speak and share, do not turn it negatively, but as a positive way of
communicating and connecting with a person. Step 3 is “Slow down and Listen”. Many
people will only listen to a part of a conversation and in their mind already make up a
question to ask the person. They won’t slow down and actually listen to what the person
wants to fully say. So if you were to focus and listen to what the person has to say, you
will have a more targeted response. And Step 4 is “Tell a Story”. Our responses have to
have a structure. With providing structure to your response, it will help with processing
the information spoken. The person listening will then be able to understand what it is
that you are sharing and be able to continue the structured format to make a coherent
conversation, whether that be an already planned conversation or a spontaneous one.

What I Learned:

Overall, I found this video was very good at bringing in different strategies and
techniques to use to make you more comfortable in communicating, especially when it is
spontaneously. I learned that while communication can be difficult, you can build up to being
more confident in your skill if you follow the steps above and that there can always be room
for improvement and growth.