Come Follow Me - Ch4

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CONTENTS CHAPTER
1 Adolescence is a time of change,
challenge and growth
This chapter presents the following key learning points:

Adolescence is a period of rapid change in the lives of young
people
Adolescence is a time of preparation for adult life and
relationships.
Adolescence is a period of rapid change in the

lives of young people
Adolescents experience change in all areas of their personal growth and development –
physically, intellectually, emotionally, socially and spiritually.
It is important not to focus only on the physical changes in adolescence, but to

remember the purpose of these changes and that the human body is meant to serve as
the means by which people express themselves.
In Class Work
Working in small groups, brainstorm all of the changes that take place in
people’s lives as they grow from childhood to adolescence using the headings:
Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, Social, Spiritual.
COME FOLLOW ME – YEAR 9 261

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CONTENTS CHAPTERCHAPTER
1. ADOLESCENCE IS A TIME OF CHANGE, CHALLENGE AND GROWTH
Challenges and opportunities

The often rapid changes that adolescents deal with as they mature present many
challenges and opportunities. The experiences of adolescence can be exhilarating and
bring much joy and satisfaction. Personal horizons broaden and new skills are learned as
adolescents develop new interests, particularly in relationships with one another, with
other family members and friends, and with peers and adults in the workplace as some
begin part-time employment. Adolescence is an experience that triggers new ways of
seeing self, other people and the world.
Most adolescents find themselves questioning many of the things they took for granted
as children. They question attitudes and beliefs that they had accepted from various
sources – parents, the media, teachers and even their childhood friends. Sometimes
adolescents can become confused by some of the new experiences resulting from their
growth and development.
262 COME FOLLOW ME – YEAR 9

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1. ADOLESCENCE IS A TIME OF CHANGE, CHALLENGE AND GROWTH
Adolescence is a time of preparation for adult life

and relationships
It is important that people learn to develop healthy relationships in every area of their
lives, this includes with their family, friends, and spouses. Adolescence is a time when
individuals learn to relate to people in mature adult ways.
Just as the adolescent years are a time of preparation for adult responsibilities in other
areas of life such as study, employment and participation in wider community activities,
they are also a time of preparation for the role many will later have in life as married
people and parents.
Spend some time reflecting on the relationships you now

have in your life.
How is the way you relate with people in your life

changing? How could this process help you to develop
healthy adult relationships later in your life?
Factors that influence an adolescent’s development

During adolescence the bodies of boys and girls develop adult male and female physical
characteristics. The hormones testosterone and oestrogen are responsible for these major
physical changes.
Adolescence is a time of physical, social and emotional development. It is also meant to

be a time of spiritual growth as the adolescent moves toward a more mature faith, based
on a deeper personal commitment to Jesus. These areas of development are not
synchronised but happen in a unique way for each individual young person.
As a result, one adolescent

might begin to experience
emotional mood changes earlier
than others, while another
might begin to experience more
rapid physical changes. This
is true also of spiritual
development. Many different
influences account for how
young people mature spiritually.

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2 The Gift of sexuality

Persons communicate with one another by means of the body
‘Sexuality’ refers to how one understands oneself and relates
with others as a male or female
The different types of love
Adolescents need to understand and appreciate the gift of
human sexuality
All personal gifts need to be developed to support a healthy
sexuality.
Persons communicate with one another by

means of the body
When young people appreciate this truth about the human body, they are able to
communicate verbally and non-verbally all that is maturing within them, such as their
thoughts, ideals, virtues and emotions.
God created the human body with the potential to express the goodness within the
person. This goodness can be expressed verbally, in spoken or written words, and
non-verbally, through facial expressions and other physical signs.
“The [human] body, and it alone, is capable

of making visible what is invisible:
the spiritual and the divine.”
Pope John Paul II in General Audience, 20 February 1980.

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2. THE GIFT OF SEXUALITY
In Class Work
As a class, brainstorm sayings that have to do with non-verbal expression eg.

‘She had a face like thunder.’ Write these expressions on cards to be used for
‘mirror mimes’.
This is a ‘body-talk’ exercise. It relies on your skills of non-verbal communication.

You must not speak. Sit on a chair or on the floor facing a partner. You both
need to be at roughly the same height.
Person A mimes the expression on the first card, Person B imitates Person A’s
interpretation as though B is a mirror, then Person B identifies what description
they think is being expressed. Reverse roles so that Person B starts off with a
new expression.
Evaluation: Discuss how easy or difficult it was to interpret meaning

without the use of words.
Research: What percentage of our communication with other

humans is non-verbal (body-talk) rather than verbal?
‘Sexuality’ refers to how one understands oneself and

relates with others as male or female
Many people today confuse ‘sex’ and ‘sexuality’. They understand both words to mean
sexual feelings and desires, even sexual intercourse. However, sexuality does not have
the same meaning as sex, though the two words are closely related.
Sexuality refers to the total person

To understand what sexuality means, it is important to remember that people relate over
a lifetime. They do so as male or female, whether they are infants or children, teenagers,
adults or elderly people.
Sexuality refers to how one perceives oneself and relates to others as male or female. It
is about how males relate with females and other males and how females relate with
males and other females.
Each person’s sexuality has an influence on them from their infancy to old age. It
influences what they think, feel and do, as well as their interests and how they relate.
A teenager’s sexuality, male or female, affects all aspects of his or her personal
development. This includes their intellectual, emotional, spiritual and physical
development.

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‘Sexuality’ is related to but different from ‘sex’

Sexuality is different from sex. Often when people speak of sex they are referring only
to the observable physical differences between males and females and to the act of
sexual intercourse. Sexuality involves a fuller understanding of the human person.
Sexuality is a vital and dynamic part of every person’s identity. It is an integral part of
life that commences at birth and continues throughout a person’s life.
Everyone needs to learn to express their male or female sexuality in appropriate ways.
This is an important challenge that young people face since it is essential for positive,
life-affirming relationships with other people. In meeting this challenge during their
adolescent years and beyond, adolescents learn many of the essential things they will
need to bring to all their relationships as mature adults whether they remain single,
marry, become priests or consecrated religious. They will need to learn attitudes and
skills centred on putting others before themselves.
Gender identity
Gender, being male or female, is the foundation of sexuality. Gender identity refers to
whether a person sees themselves as male or female. Gender identity depends on more
than purely observable characteristics. It results from factors such as how people
perceive themselves and how they are treated and related to from birth.
A person’s gender affects how they relate with others. It affects how they see and feel
about things. It affects their interests, activities and attitudes. In order to develop as
fully integrated sexual beings, people need to relate with others both male and female,
since males and females complement each other. Generally speaking men and women
think, feel and see things differently, so they tend to relate differently, and reflect some
human qualities more strongly than others. Males and females enrich each other.

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The different types of love

Real relationships can only develop as people
grow to love others. Different kinds of
relationships grow from the different kinds of
love people have for each other.
The word love can mean different things to

different people. When the word ‘love’ is
used today in songs or literature or the
media, particularly television or movies, the
meaning it is given usually relates to sexual or
romantic love. Important as these aspects are,
true love means much more than this.
Familial love
Familial love is the love between family members. It
moves family members to be concerned and to care for each other.
The strength of familial love can be seen when family members:

• stick together and show loyalty to each other
• accept in each other what they would find unacceptable in others
• support each other in difficult times.
Altruistic love
Altruistic love enables people to show genuine concern and care for others whether they
know them or not. People demonstrate this love when they:
• help others, expecting nothing in return
• try to help after an accident or tragedy
• donate money to needy causes
• join in community service programs.
Romantic love
Romantic love refers to the love flowing from psychological and physical attraction.
People often refer to this as being ‘in love’. It stirs strong feelings in people, which may
lead them to seek to satisfy them in a sexual way. People who are romantically in love
may:
• feel the need to be with those to whom they are attracted
• invest a great amount of time, effort and thought in that relationship.
• be led to physically express the depth of God’s love for one another in marriage.
When this love is based exclusively on self-gratification – that is, where satisfying one’s
own sexual desires is what matters to an individual – then it is not authentic ‘love’.

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It takes time to develop a healthy sexuality

Sexuality permeates the identity and personality of every person.
Just as it can take many years to become certain about ‘who we are’, it can take a long
time to develop a healthy sexuality.
Teenagers who feel confused about this, need to focus on the question: How can I
develop a healthy and mature sexuality? In addition to this, they need to ask themselves
questions such as:
• Do I worry too much about the expectations of others, especially peers?
• Do I compare myself too much to others?
• Where do my ideas about being male and female come from?
• Do I take too much notice of how others of my gender behave in TV shows or other
media?
• How much are my ideas on sexuality influenced by TV or sports personalities or
other public figures?
Reflect on these questions. In your journal, jot down any

issues that are of concern to you.
Spend some time writing about what you need to do to

ensure that you develop a healthy and mature sexuality.
Adolescents should be wary of sexual experimentation

Adolescence is the stage in each young person’s life for developing character, attitudes,
values and skills that will help them to commit to the tasks of adult life, one of which
may be commitment to married love.
This is an important responsibility for every adolescent and there are no short cuts to
reaching the level of maturity and a healthy sexuality that will enable a person to find
the happiness and fulfilment that married love offers.
Young people need to be particularly wary of engaging in sexual experimentation.

Because experimentation takes place in short-term or casual relationships lacking
commitment or even concern for the other person, such ‘love’ is not authentic. In fact, it
is not ‘love’ at all. Sexual experimentation, because it is self-centred rather than other-
centred, can harm the development of a person’s sexuality in ways that affect them for
the rest of their lives. Habits can be formed that are very difficult to break, even once a
person is married.

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Adolescents need to be particularly wary of others who try to persuade them to engage
in sexual experimentation because the motives of such people will not be altruistic (ie.
focussed on doing what is in the best interests of the other person).
Young people need to be aware of the possible consequences of engaging in sexual

experimentation which may include:
• physical harm, such as contracting sexually transmitted infections. These infections
affect persons who engage in sexual experimentation far more than anyone else
• emotional harm, such as the distress resulting from an unplanned pregnancy
• social harm, such as focussing so much on sexual encounters that other aspects of
forming balanced relationships are neglected
• spiritual harm, as sexual experimentation often results in a self-centredness that
leaves little room for God and committed love of others.
Each adolescent develops in a unique way

It is important to remember that the age or time at which each person begins to develop
sexual feelings and interests varies. Adolescents are not all ‘programmed’ to develop in
the same way or at the same time. Each is unique.
Some young people become more conscious of their sexuality at an earlier point of their
development than others. For many individuals, other areas of their lives develop first.
Variations in the areas and rates of development between people tend to even out over
time.
Adolescents need to understand and appreciate the

gift of human sexuality
The speed and number of changes experienced in the adolescent years can leave
teenagers confused. For example, they can feel confused as strong emotions urge them
to behave differently from how they think they should behave.
Adolescents can also find that their emotions seem to battle each other. For example,
they may feel that they hate someone they normally love. Powerful feelings can also
make it hard to resist doing what teenagers know to be wrong.
A challenge for adolescents is to learn to integrate their thoughts, emotions, values and
other personal gifts so that they function together in harmonious ways. The reality,
however, seems to be that, instead of functioning in harmony, they seem to work against
each other.
Adolescents need to remember, therefore, that no matter how strongly sexual feelings
affect them, such feelings remain only part of the whole person. They are not the whole
of one’s sexuality and they should not be allowed to take over or to dominate.

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Developing self discipline

Adolescents are no different from adults in the need for self-discipline. An adolescent needs
to try to exercise self-discipline whenever they become aware of powerful sexual feelings.
If one doesn’t learn to control these feelings, they can end up being expressed in ways that
are harmful to self and others, and are morally wrong such as treating persons as mere
objects to be ‘taken’ or ‘used’ for one’s pleasure and self-gratification.
Where this happens, sexual feelings can control how a

person behaves. This is far from the kind of preparation
a person needs for a healthy sexuality.
Sexual self-discipline involves understanding one’s sexual

feelings and learning to express them in ways that are
consistent with the values and ideals young people know
to be good and true. In this way individuals learn to
integrate and express their sexuality in mature and Take some time to
respectful ways. reflect on your
progress in
The skill of disciplining and learning to express one’s developing self-
self sexually in the way God would want requires constant discipline in all
prayer, reflection and determination, especially in today’s aspects of your life.
society.

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All personal gifts need to be developed to support a

healthy sexuality
To develop a healthy sexuality, it is important not to over-emphasise the sexual
aspects of a person. People need to develop other gifts as well. Some of these
other gifts are the intellect, emotions, spirit and will. As young people grow
stronger, the development of these other basic human gifts helps to keep sexual
feelings in perspective.
The Intellect
Intellectual gifts can help people to develop a healthy sexuality. For example,
people learn to understand their sexual feelings, to evaluate them against ideals
and moral values and to work out right and wrong ways of behaving.
Intellectual gifts can help adolescents to come to know others as people and to
evaluate sexual stereotypes, social trends and influences.
The Emotions
As people learn to understand and express their emotions appropriately, they also
learn to do the same with their sexual feelings. The same skills and habits apply
to making choices in times of strong emotions as they do to making choices when
sexual feelings are strong.
The Spirit
As people develop spiritually, their inner spiritual strength grows. As it does so,
they can draw upon it to overcome any expressions of sexual feelings that are not
appropriate to particular situations. This helps them to achieve greater inner
freedom. For example, they can overcome desires to engage in sexual activities
that are appropriate only to the relationship between husband and wife.
The Will
As people use their wills to develop self-control, they grow in their ability to
make responsible choices, rather than be controlled by sexual feelings. At times,
despite their best efforts, individuals may not be able to express their sexual
feelings in ways that respect their sexuality or the sexuality of others. As they
learn self-mastery, they also learn to express their sexual feelings appropriately.
Relating skills
As people develop healthy relationships, they grow in the ability to exercise self-control
over sexual feelings that are relationally inappropriate. This is because the emphasis
shifts to realising the full potential of relationships based on a healthy sexuality.
Adolescents find that they are able to express their strong sexual feelings in
positive, life-giving ways for self and others as they overcome self-centred
attitudes and behaviours.

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In Class Work
Use the information in Chapters 1 and 2 to help you to answer the following
questions:
1. Explain the difference between ‘sexuality’ and ‘sex’.
2. Explain the meanings of familial love, altruistic love and romantic love.
For each type of love give two examples of positive ways that people can
express this form of love.
3. Why should young people be particularly wary of engaging in sexual

experimentation?
4. List four possible consequences of engaging in sexual experimentation.
5. Individuals learn to integrate and express their sexuality in mature and

respectful ways by _____________________________________________
___________________________________________________
6. List the basic human gifts that people need to develop in order to support
a healthy sexuality.

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3 Developing a Healthy Sexuality

People develop a healthy sexuality as they strive to
love like God
God teaches that sexuality is the basis for all relationships
Married love is the basis of the unique relationship that
exists between a wife and husband
The characteristics of healthy human sexuality.
People develop a healthy sexuality as

they strive to love like God
God, the Creator of human sexuality,
has revealed what people need to do
to develop a healthy sexuality.
Every human gift has a purpose.

It develops as it is used for that
purpose. Adolescent bodies, for
example, grow stronger and more
coordinated as teenagers walk, run
and exercise.
The development of a healthy

sexuality during adolescence prepares
young people for situations they will
face as adults.
A person’s sexuality has a purpose

just like all their other gifts. God, the
Creator of human nature, revealed Sistine Chapel ceiling: Creation of Eve, with four Ignudi, 1511
this purpose thousands of years ago. (fresco) (pre restoration) by Buonarroti, Michelangelo (1475–1564)
God’s teaching is recorded in various

books of the Bible. The most basic idea
is presented in the Creation Stories at
the beginning of the Bible.

CONTENTS CONTENTSCHAPTER CHAPTER
3. DEVELOPING A HEALTHY SEXUALITY
The Priestly Creation Story

The first of these stories preserves God’s teaching that males and females were created
in God’s own image and likeness:
... in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them.
(Genesis 1:27)
Each was created in God’s image and likeness and each was created to reflect God in
different ways.
Males have been created to reflect God in masculine ways and females have been created
to reflect God in feminine ways. Males do not reflect God better than females, nor do
females better reflect God than males.
Equal in dignity
Created in God’s image and likeness, male and female are also equal in dignity. Each
respects their own dignity and that of others when they treat each other with respect.
Neither should treat the other as less equal than themselves.
God teaches that sexuality is the basis for all relationship
The Yahwist Creation Story

The Yahwist Creation Story portrays God personally giving the gift of life to people,
Yahweh God shaped the man from the soil of the ground and blew the breath of
life into his nostrils, and man became a living being. (Genesis 2:7)
The ‘man’ had the whole of creation to enjoy, yet ‘he’ still felt alone and incomplete and
needed another human being. God then created a woman from the rib of the man
(Genesis 2:22).
The first parents were created as male and female. Their sexuality was not merely an
addition but was an essential part of their nature.
In this way, the Yahwist Creation Story preserves God’s teaching that God created
human sexuality for the purpose of human beings relating with each other.
Human sexuality, therefore, is not primarily about sexual intercourse or human

reproduction. It was created first and foremost so that people could relate with each
other. The key to their relationship was that it was to reflect God’s relationship with
them, a relationship of love and communion.

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Married love is the basis of the unique relationship that

exists between a wife and husband
God revealed sexual intercourse as a special means for expressing married love before
relating it to having children. Catholic teaching speaks of the two purposes of
intercourse, without prioritising them. Neither is more important than the other.
The closest of all chosen relationships is marriage. This love is so close that the husband
and wife feel unable to love any other person in the same way. It is a love that needs a
special expression, an expression described as the reason why,
… a man ... becomes attached to his For your information…

wife, and they become one flesh. ‘Become one flesh’ was an ancient
(Genesis 2:24) Jewish phrase for sexual intercourse.
The second Creation Story describes this love in an ancient Jewish way when the first
man and woman marry:
Now, both of them were naked, the man and his wife, but they felt no shame
before each other. (Genesis 2:25)
The purpose for which God created human beings capable of sexual intercourse,
therefore, is to express married love. Sexual intercourse is an expression of relationship
only in so far as it is a way of expressing married love.

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The characteristics of healthy human sexuality
From all that God revealed about human sexuality in the two creation stories, healthy
human sexuality can be said to have the characteristics outlined in the following table:
Basic characteristics revealed in the People develop a healthy sexuality when God
Creation Stories enables them to ...
1. God created males and females in think, speak and behave all their life in
God’s own image and likeness ways that reflect God’s selfless love and
goodness
2. God gave males and females equal show respect towards those of the
dignity opposite sex, and never exploit them
or treat them in disrespectful ways
3. God created males and females to fulfil their roles as men and women based
reflect God equally, but in different on their equality as males and females
ways
4. God charged the first human beings to have the sexual self-discipline needed to
develop the good in creation, including understand and direct sexual feelings and
themselves curiosity, so that they do not behave in
ways that disobey God’s laws
5. Love means being committed to the allow their sexual feelings and curiosity to
good of others assist them to do only what is good for
others
6. God created sexuality as part of to think of themselves and others (or to

human nature treat others) in a respectful way; as people
of dignity and not as ‘sex objects’
7. God created males and females capable reflect God as Creator of life, by
of sexual intercourse so that they could conceiving and bearing children and to
express the special relationship of remain faithful to their marriage vows
marriage
Principles for a healthy sexuality

In order to develop their sexuality in healthy ways, people need to understand the
following principles:
• human sexuality is part of every person. It affects the ways they think, feel and
express themselves
• as part of their nature, sexuality affects people for the whole of their lives
• adolescent physical development is more than the development of the capacity to
contribute to human reproduction
• the purpose of teenage physical sexual development is to more fully express their
sexuality
• people develop a healthy sexuality to the extent that they relate with others in ways
that express their love of family, friendship or married love
• the purpose of sexual intercourse is to express married love in a distinctive and
special way which may include the procreation of children.
• the common characteristic of genuine love in every human relationship is ‘to will the
good of another.’

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In Class Work
1. Read through the principles for developing a healthy sexuality as listed

above.
2. In your own words describe what it means to develop a healthy sexuality.
3. Identify examples of young people in the media who you think might serve
as role models for teenagers who are striving to develop a healthy sexuality.
4. Explain what it is about these young people and how they live that
demonstrates that they are striving to develop a healthy sexuality.

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4 The Challenge of Developing
a Healthy Sexuality
This chapter presents the following key learning point:

People can fail to develop a healthy sexuality for a
number of reasons.
People can fail to develop a healthy sexuality

for a number of reasons
People can find developing a healthy sexuality to be challenging. Sexual feelings
and desires can be very difficult to resist at times.
This has led people to experience:

• prostitution
• sexual abuse
• marriages based upon sexual feelings instead of a commitment in love
• people pretending to be friends and to love others, in order to
satisfy their sexual desires
• looking at and using others as ‘sex-objects’ through pornography
• sexually explicit media
• people feeling deeply hurt and betrayed after they discover
that someone they thought loved them really only wanted
them for sexual self-gratification.
People find developing a healthy sexuality challenging

Originally, people were created in close relationship with God.
Because they were in harmony with God, they were also in
harmony with each other, as well as within themselves. Sexual
feelings were harmoniously integrated as people were seen as
human beings, not as ‘sex objects’.
This situation changed when the parents of the human race

damaged their relationship with God through original sin.
Then the eyes of both of them were opened and they

realized that they were naked. So they sewed fig-leaves
together to make themselves loin-cloths. (Genesis 3:7)

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4. THE CHALLENGE OF DEVELOPING A HEALTHY SEXUALITY
The author of the story of the Fall recorded this story to illustrate that, to the extent
that human beings fail to relate with God, they will find it difficult to develop a healthy
sexuality.
To the extent that they do not relate with God, people find it challenging at times not to
give into their sexual feelings. This results in:
• sexual temptations that are difficult to resist
• strong desires to engage in sexual activities outside marriage
• desires to see or imagine others as objects for sexual self-gratification.
In Class Work
List names of magazines and television programs that are commonly read and
viewed by teenagers.
1. Next to each title, outline the topics they cover.
2. Roughly what percentage of the content is based on issues connected to

human sexuality?
3. What stereotypes are presented of male and female behaviour?
4. How ‘real’ is the portrayal of teenagers in these media sources?
5. Do you think the information presented is reliable and helpful to young

people as they try to develop a healthy sexuality?
6. Would you trust these same sources to give you career or

financial advice?

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Commitment and genuine love

Genuine love for family members, friends and husband or wife is required to develop a
healthy sexuality. Although different kinds of love are needed for different relationships,
the common characteristic of all forms of genuine love is commitment to the good of
the person being loved.
Sexual attraction can be the start to a committed relationship if it matures to genuine

care for the other. However, this is not likely to happen for people who give in to their
sexual feelings and act in selfish and self-centred ways.
Many teenagers and young adults today become sexually involved because they are
physically attracted to each other. They ‘feel’ very close, and are hurt when those with
whom they had sexual experiences want to end the relationship. This type of ‘love’ can
be very misleading. People can feel close, when in fact there is no mutual loyalty or
commitment to the other.
‘Romantic love’ is a wonderful experience based, as it is, upon strong emotional feelings
towards another person. As teenagers develop in their sexuality, the attraction of
romantic love will feature more strongly in their experience. However, while
relationships may begin romantically, they need to mature to genuine love if they are to
be lasting. Couples who confuse romantic feelings with commitment can be deeply hurt
when their relationship breaks up.
People affect the development of one another’s sexuality. It is important to be critical of

what others, especially the media, portray as the way to live as sexual beings.
Adolescents need to develop a healthy questioning of why advertisers so often promote
products by associating them with far from subtle sexual images.

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In Class Work
1. Brainstorm examples of advertisements that use sexual imagery to sell

products or services.
2. Do a simple analysis on advertisements by filling out a table with the

following format:
Product/Service Sexual imagery Human needs to which

advertised portrayed the advertisement
appeals
3. What conclusions can be drawn from your analysis?
4. If possible, research the percentage of the annual budget spent on

advertising by one or more of these companies.
Ideas that differ from what God has revealed cannot lead to the development of a
healthy and mature sexuality.
The ways people experience the first stirrings of sexual interest vary from person to
person. It is important, therefore, to remain true to oneself, and not to worry if one
does not fit current stereotypes.
Teenagers can feel pressured into pretending that they are more interested in sexual
matters than in fact they are in reality. For example, many are interested in relating with
the opposite sex as people, rather than just focusing on them simply as sexual objects.
They may feel pressured to engage in friendships for which they are not yet ready. They
may even make up stories about sexual exploits just to impress their friends.
Some young people are much

happier socialising in groups
with both boys and girls and
do not want to pair off into
couples too soon. Yet society
is promoting the girlfriend-
boyfriend relationship as the
norm for young people. Young
people should learn to take
the time to get to know others
and to develop relationships
with them.
Adolescents need to be true to the

vision of a healthy sexuality that
God has revealed.
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What does it mean to be a true friend?
List as many characteristics as you can of what

being a true friend would mean to you.
When was the last time that a friend went out of

his or her way to do something special for you?
What did this tell you about the friendship? The friend?
Yourself?
Take some time to pray for guidance about how

to be a ‘true’ friend.
In Class Work
Use the information in Chapters 3 and 4 to help you to answer the following
questions:
1. The Priestly Creation story contains some of God’s teachings about

human sexuality. It teaches that males and females were created in
God’s ______________________ and ___________________.
Therefore they are equal in ___________ and they should each treat
the other with _______________.
2. The Yahwist Creation Story teaches that God created human sexuality for
the purpose of ________________ with each other in a way that reflected
God’s relationship with them – one of __________ and _______________.
In the story God shaped ‘man’ from the _____________. ‘Man’ received life
when God ___________________________________________. The ‘man’ felt
alone so God created ______________________ from _________________.
3. What are the two purposes of sexual intercourse?
4. In a human relationship ‘genuine love‘ must always involve

________________________________________________.
5. Give some examples of ways in which human beings have suffered because
they have at times been unable to express their sexuality in the healthy ways
that God intended.
6. List some of the challenges that teenagers face in trying to

develop a healthy sexuality.

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5 Jesus promises the power
of divine love

God gives guidance and strength to people in developing their
human sexuality in healthy ways
Jesus is the model for Christians of expressing the divine
power of charity to others
Charity is developed through receiving Jesus in Holy
Communion, prayer and in striving to live Jesus’ two great
commandments
The Christian promise can become a reality if people strive to
live the vision of charity and chastity revealed by Jesus.
God gives guidance and strength to people in

developing their human sexuality in healthy ways
No one can develop a healthy sexuality unless they love others as God does. To do this,
they must first be close to God.
The human ability to love as God loves was damaged by original sin, as was people’s
ability to develop a healthy sexuality. To develop a healthy sexuality, the first thing
people need to do is to again draw close to God.
God the Father sent his son Jesus and the Holy Spirit to the human race in order to give
God’s guidance and strength to people as they struggle to develop their human sexuality
in healthy ways.
In Class Work
Why do people need God’s guidance and strength to develop their sexuality in
healthy ways? Why can’t they just do this on their own? Discuss in groups
and/or as a class.

5. JESUS PROMISES THE POWER OF DIVINE LOVE
Charity, the divine power to love as God loves

Jesus Christ came to make it possible for all people to draw close to God. He
proclaimed:
‘The time is fulfilled, and the Kingdom of God is close at hand. Repent, and
believe the gospel.’ (Mark 1:15)
The Kingdom of God exists where the divine power of love and goodness is accepted. It
is a share in the power of God’s own love.
The divine power to love as God does has a special name – charity. Charity helps people
to relate with God as originally intended in creation. The closer a person draws to God,
the more they are empowered by God to love others as originally intended. Charity,
then, is the power God gives people to:
• love God for God’s own sake
• love others for God’s sake.
• live God’s commandments
• love self and others as God does.
Many people today think of ‘charity’ in terms of giving money and possessions to the
poor. While it does include giving to those in need, charity is much more than this. It is
the share in God’s power to love, a gift received through Baptism.

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In Class Work
Construct a mind map with the word ‘charity’ at the centre and the four aspects
of charity, given in the dot points, as offshoots. From these offshoots, map
practical ways in which people your age can demonstrate each of these
aspects of charity.
The two great commandments of Christ

Having promised to share the divine power of charity with his followers, Jesus gave
them two commandments that they need to obey for the power of charity to grow
within them. He told them:
‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all
your strength and with all your mind…’ (Luke 10:27)
‘You must love your neighbour as yourself.’ (Matthew 22:39)
Jesus described these as the two greatest commandments. The order in which they are
presented is very important.
Why is love for God first?

Love for God is first because only by loving God are Christians empowered to love their
neighbour as Jesus did. The power of charity cannot grow by trying to love others
without first loving God and receiving this power to love from him.
In Class Work
In pairs, create a flyer or brochure that seeks to explain the two great
commandments of Jesus.
In your brochure outline why people need to live by these commandments

in order to love others as God wants people to love them.

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Jesus is the model

for expressing the
divine power of
charity to others
Jesus is both the Son of God
and human. He showed and
taught his followers how to
love others as God loves
them. Jesus is the perfect
model of charity for
Christians to follow as they
seek to love others as he did.
Jesus modelled love of God

Jesus demonstrated how his followers should love God by the ways he showed love for
God the Father. He:
• prayed (Mark 1:35; Luke 11:1 )
• worshipped (John 17:1–4; Hebrews 5:7)
• promoted, as well as kept, the commandments (Matthew 5:17–19).
Jesus modelled love of others

Jesus modelled the basic gospel principle of charity: Christians must love everyone they
encounter within the roles and commitments to which God has called them. Jesus
demonstrated this in his own life by loving everyone he met regardless of:
• social status (Luke 17:11–19; 19:1–10)
• age (Luke 4:38–39; 18:15–17)
• cultural background (Luke 7:1–10)
• social condition (Luke 7:11–17)
• religion (John 4:1–10)
• gender (Luke 23:49)
• moral standing (John 8:1–11; Luke 5:29–32; 7:36–50).

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He demonstrated that charity requires love for everyone. Perhaps the most dramatic
demonstration of this was his forgiveness of those who crucified him.
When they reached the place called The Skull, there they crucified him and the two
criminals, one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them;
they do not know what they are doing.’ (Luke 23:33–34)
As well as loving everyone he met, Jesus taught his followers that they must do the
same. He said:
‘...be reconciled with your brother ...’ (Matthew 5:24)

‘...if anyone hits you on the right cheek, offer him the other as well.’ (Matthew 5:39)
‘…love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you...’ (Matthew 5:44)
‘So always treat others as you would like them to treat you ...’ (Matthew 7:12)
Jesus and his love for women

Jesus demonstrated that Christian love always leads a man to respect women in
imitation of God’s respect for them.
Jesus showed in ways that were revolutionary for his time that respect for women
required seeing them as equals. For example, unlike other rabbis at the time, who only
taught men, Jesus included women among his disciples (Luke 8:1–3). In those times,
only men were regarded as reliable witnesses. In revealing his Resurrection to women
first (Mark 16:1–8), Jesus rejected the social attitude of his time.
The basic lesson Jesus taught in his life and ministry was that people must always respect
each other as persons of equal dignity.
For your information…

In the Jewish society of Jesus’ day, women held a position of social inferiority. They were
subordinate to men within families. This was reflected in the fact that men avoided
speaking to women in public, even to their wives and daughters.
The Gospels reveal that, in openly relating with women, Jesus deviated sharply from the
conventions of his society. It was behaviour that took even his disciples by surprise:
‘…his disciples returned and were surprised to find him speaking to a woman …’
(John 4:27)

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In Class Work
Read the story of Jesus revealing his Resurrection to the women in Mark 16:1–8.
Imagine what the women would have felt after finding the tomb empty and
encountering the ‘young man in a white robe.’ Using the perspective of one of
the women, write about the event, describing your feelings.
How would you explain to Peter and the disciples what you had witnessed?
How do you think they would react to your news?
Jesus is the model of celibate love

Jesus never married or had a family. The divine love in Jesus moved him to dedicate his
entire life to loving as many people as possible. God loves every human being and so the
divine power of charity in Jesus embraced all people he encountered.
His task was to teach about the Kingdom of God and to invite all to accept God’s power
of love and goodness.
A sign of the Kingdom of God

In this life, the Kingdom of God exists in the power of God. Christians are called to
share the power of the Kingdom in the service of God and humanity.
The special love Jesus demonstrated is called celibate love, or simply ‘celibacy’. Jesus
taught that all his followers are called to this kind of love at sometime during their lives.
Teenagers and all other people who are not married are called to live celibate single lives.
Religious brothers, sisters and priests are called in a special way to celibate love, and like
Jesus they are called to celibacy for their whole lives. Part of their calling to celibacy is
the desire to dedicate their whole lives to serving God by loving as Jesus loves. They are
called to remain unmarried for the rest of their lives, as was Jesus, ‘for the sake of the
kingdom of Heaven’ (Matthew 19:12).
Priests and religious brothers and sisters make a conscious choice for a life of celibacy as
a special way of loving and accept this as a requirement of the Church and as a gift from
God.
Heaven is where people will experience, with all the angels and saints, the perfect
fullness of God’s love. It will be a love that far surpasses even the married love people
experience in their earthly lives.
Jesus revealed that, in heaven, people do not marry.
‘…they are like the angels in heaven.’ (Mark 12:25)

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Charity is developed through receiving Jesus in Holy

Communion, prayer and in striving to live Jesus’
two great commandments
Though God’s love is received through
Baptism and strengthened through
Confirmation, it needs to be developed
in people’s lives. Jesus taught his
followers how to do this. The three
most important ways are by:
• receiving the Body and Blood of
Jesus in Holy Communion. Holy
Communion nourishes charity, just as
food nourishes the body
• praying daily
• striving each day to live Jesus’ two
great commandments. The first
commandment calls Christians to
ever deeper love of God, and the
second commandment to love of
neighbour.
Charity develops with chastity

Charity moves people to love others as
God loves them, not simply as sexual
beings but as whole persons.
Charity moves people in such a way that

gradually, their thoughts, emotions and
other gifts are brought into harmony.
As this happens, they are moved to love
others as God loves them. This ability to Holy Communion nourishes
harmonise sexual thoughts, feelings and
desires is called chastity. It is the growing
ability to see others as God sees them.
charity, just as food
This means seeing beyond an individual’s
sexuality, wonderful as that gift is, to the
nourishes the body
whole person God loves.
How is chastity developed?

Two requirements are needed to develop chastity. In a similar way to charity,
the first requirement is to develop a close relationship with God through:
• daily prayer
• receiving the spiritual nourishment of Holy Communion
• receiving God’s forgiveness in the Sacrament of Penance
• accepting God’s grace in the Sacrament of Penance to amend one’s life
and do better in future.

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The second requirement for developing chastity is self-mastery. This means working to
understand sexual feelings and desires and to discipline them like any other emotion, so
that they do not become too powerful to resist.
Many people try to live the virtue of chastity by self-discipline alone. They find that it is
not possible without God’s help. They can find themselves failing at times to resist
sexual temptations.
Modesty is a key element to living a chaste life

Modesty is a key element of living a chaste life and is related to chastity. It means
behaving in ways that reflect proper attitudes to sexuality. Modesty is not just about me
and what I like, but how I affect others. It is the development of the habit of avoiding
whatever may tempt people to think of others or themselves in sexual ways. It means
respect for others and themselves.
Modesty is natural within people. It is a spiritual quality. While its demands vary from
society to society, it means avoiding sexually explicit and pornographic materials.
Modesty also means that people will dress in ways that do not provoke others to see
them as ‘sex objects’.

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The Christian promise can become a reality if people

strive to live the vision of charity and chastity revealed
by Jesus
If all people accepted and developed the

gift of chastity as a ‘positive good’ for
themselves and others, they would develop
their sexuality in healthy ways. What
differences would be seen in Australian
society if all people developed a healthy
sexuality?
In Class Work
Use the information in Chapter 5 to help you to answer the following questions:
1. Name two of the effects of original sin on humanity.

2. Charity is _________________________________________.
3. Charity gives people the power to:
a) _________________________________________________
b) _________________________________________________
c) _________________________________________________
d) _________________________________________________
4. What are Jesus’ two ‘greatest’ commandments? Why is their order important?
5. Explain how Jesus modelled love of others.
6. How was Jesus’ attitude to women very unusual for a Jewish man of his
times? Give one example from Scripture that demonstrated his treatment
of women.
7. What does ‘celibate’ mean?
8. Jesus modelled celibate love. What people in the Church today commit
themselves in a special way to celibate love?
9. Explain how they live as Jesus did as a result of this lifetime commitment.
10. Explain how participation in the Church can help people to develop
charity in their lives.
11. List the two requirements needed if people are to develop chastity.
12. How does developing chastity also enable people to develop charity?
13. List four characteristics of modesty.

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6 God empowers people to live
chaste lives

God originally created human beings with healthy sexualities
Jesus gives sacramental grace to enable people to develop a
healthy sexuality.
God originally created human beings with

healthy sexualities
God originally created human beings with a healthy sexuality. They loved and respected
each other as male and female in ways that reflected God’s love and respect for each
other. God created all of their physical characteristics.
God had two purposes in creating sexual organs; these were that married couples could:
• express their married love to each other
• conceive children.
Through sexual intercourse, each was to express in marriage the kind of love that
reflected God’s faithfulness and total generosity. Together, they were also able to reflect
God, the giver of life, by conceiving children.
Sexual intercourse was created by God, therefore, to be both love-giving and life-giving.
Differences between human beings and other creatures

Human sexuality is one of the characteristics that make human beings different
from other creatures. While all God’s creatures have sexual organs and
reproductive systems, human beings are different in three key ways.
1. Human beings have free will. They can choose when to express married love
and to have children. Other creatures engage sexually by instinct and urges.
Human beings can choose not to follow sexual urges.
2. Husband and wife reflect the love of God for each other when they express
married love in sexual ways. Other creatures cannot do this because they were
not created in God’s own image and likeness.
3. God created human beings sacred as in the image and likeness of God. Unlike
animal or insect life, new human life is sacred from the moment of conception.

6. GOD EMPOWERS PEOPLE TO LIVE CHASTE LIVES
Jesus gives sacramental grace to

enable people to develop a healthy sexuality
God the Father sent Jesus to offer
people ways for drawing on the
saving power of God. These are
the gifts received through the
Baptism
sacraments.
Confirmation
Four sacraments especially provide
people with the gifts needed to live Eucharist
as a Christian. They are the sacraments
of Baptism, Confirmation, Eucharist and
Reconciliation.
Reconciliation
Baptism
Some of the spiritual gifts received through Baptism relate particularly to developing a
healthy sexuality.
Grace Promised help If developed, these graces

gradually empower the
Christian to ...
Freedom from original sin The power to overcome think and behave in sexual
selfishness and temptations ways that obey God’s laws
to do wrong
overcome selfishness and

temptations
The life of God The power to behave more think, speak and behave in
like Jesus ways that reflect Jesus’ love
for all people
The gift of faith understand and appreciate

God’s laws related to
sexual behaviour
The gift of hope have the ability to trust,

that God will always help
those who strive to live as
Jesus
The gift of charity keep loving God more

deeply for God’s own sake
draw on God’s power to
love and relate with others
in chaste ways
United by the Holy Spirit The Holy Spirit will draw act on the desire to belong
with other baptized baptized Christians closer to a faith community with
believers together. others who seek to live as
God calls

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It is important to understand that people who draw on the graces of Baptism are
enabled to:
• turn to God by praying for help to resist sexual temptations
• exercise self-control when they experience powerful sexual feelings and desires
• develop the virtue of chastity as they draw closer to Jesus.
Confirmation
Through Confirmation, the gifts of baptised people are strengthened as they receive the
special strength of the Holy Spirit. These include those gifts which relate to their sexuality.
Spend some time reflecting on the following

questions then; write your thoughts in your
journal:
• When can it be difficult to see the good

in people and in events?
• When can it be hard to believe that

God cares for people?
• When can people become confused

about what is really of value?
• When can it be hard to believe and to

behave as Jesus taught?
• When is it hard to remember God’s

promises?
• When can it be difficult to feel

that God is close?
• When can God’s love be taken

for granted?
• Spend some time discussing the

questions in small groups.

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Gifts of Confirmation
Gift: Experiences
The Spirit of Wisdom Growing ability to see the wholeness of
Ability to see the good in everything as persons rather than viewing them solely
God does, and as Jesus did in sexual ways.
Accepting one’s sexuality as one aspect

of being a person
Discovering the good in oneself
Becoming more aware of the need to

die a ‘friend of God’ to enter heaven
The Spirit of Understanding Understanding how to behave as God
Ability to understand, as Jesus did, the wants in times of sexual temptation
meaning of God’s actions
Discovering God’s purposes for human
sexuality
Discovering the true meaning of love as

charity
The Spirit of Right Judgement Making decisions that respect the need to
Ability to judge the true value of strive for a healthy sexuality
everything, as did Jesus
Valuing a healthy sexuality
The Spirit of Courage Strengthened to resist pressures to ignore

Ability to rise above personal challenges God’s laws for developing a healthy
and fears, even in the face of death, as sexuality
Jesus did
Strengthened against temptations to
disobey the sixth and ninth
commandments
Strengthened to live the teachings of Jesus

each day
The Spirit of Knowledge Able to remember that God is eager to
Ability to come to know God better and to help people resist pressures and
learn new lessons from experiences of God temptations against Christian teaching
on human sexuality
The Spirit of Reverence Prayer for God’s support to live a chaste

Ability to keep growing in awareness of life grows easier and more personal
God’s closeness and love
Feeling that God is present always,
especially in times of temptation
The Spirit of Wonder and Awe Wanting to show love for God by living
in God’s Presence a life of charity and chastity
Ability to keep returning love to
God for all God’s gifts

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For those who seek it, the special strength of the Holy Spirit strengthens them against
sexual feelings and desires that otherwise would lead them to behave in ways God does
not want. This strengthens charity.
As Christians develop and use the gifts of the Spirit, the fruits of the Holy Spirit grow
further in them. The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, trustfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Eucharist
The graces of the Eucharist help a person to develop a healthy sexuality in three key
ways:
1. Union with Christ strengthens against sexual temptations by drawing anyone who
receives Holy Communion regularly, closer to Jesus.
2. The Eucharist nourishes all spiritual gifts, including those of Baptism and
Confirmation. Without this nourishment, the gifts received through Baptism and
Confirmation will not develop as intended by God.
3. The Eucharist deepens union with Christ and strengthens charity; it wipes away past
venial sin and strengthens against temptations to break serious laws of God and
commit a mortal sin.
Penance
Many Australians today do not understand the gift of chastity. Nor do they realise that
one must have a relationship with God in order to receive the power of God’s love upon
which chastity is based.
Many today say chastity is ‘old-fashioned’ because they find it hard to live chaste lives.
Perhaps they try but lack the strength God’s love brings because they:
• do not worship or pray to God
• do not try to keep God’s commandments.
This does not mean that Christians always behave in chaste ways. They are tempted and
at times will fail to keep God’s commandments.
Jesus understood that this would be the case. It is one reason why he instituted the
Sacrament of Penance. Through this sacrament:
• the relationship with God of those who have sinned is healed
• the divine power upon which chastity is based grows stronger.
In Class Work
What are the ‘forces’ or factors at work in society today that make it hard for
people, including Christians, to live chaste lives?
Discuss in small groups and report to the class.

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To draw on the graces of the

sacraments it is necessary to pray
The need for Prayer

To draw on the graces of the sacraments it is necessary to pray, asking for God’s help to
deal with sexual temptations and difficulties in life-giving ways. What is needed is to ask
God for greater strength and understanding.
Reflecting on the need for prayer to deal with sexual

temptation in life-giving ways, spend time with God silently
and privately. Then compose a prayer in your journal
sharing your thoughts and feelings with God who wants
nothing more than to be able to help and support you. You
may wish to ask for God’s strengthening grace in those
times when you will be tempted, as all people are, to give in
to sexual feelings. You may also want to ask God to
strengthen the gifts you have received in the sacraments
that will help you grow more fully. Consider the gifts of
charity, chastity and modesty.

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In Class Work
Use the information in Chapter 6 to help you to answer the following questions
1. Name the three graces of Baptism that relate particularly to developing

a healthy sexuality.
2. By drawing on the graces of Baptism people are enabled to:
a) ______________________________________________
b) ______________________________________________
c) ______________________________________________
3. The strength of the Holy Spirit can enable people to cope with sexual
feelings and desires that can lead them to behave in ways that God does not
intend. Complete the table below to show how the seven gifts of the Holy
Spirit received at Confirmation can assist people in this aspect of their lives.
Gifts of Confirmation
Gift: Experiences
The Spirit of Wisdom Growing ability to see the
Ability to see __________________ ___________ of persons rather
______________________________ than viewing them solely in
______________________________ sexual ways.
Accepting one’s sexuality as one

aspect of being _____________
Discovering the _________ oneself
The Spirit of __________________ Discovering God’s purposes for

Ability to ____________, as Jesus _________________________
did, the meaning of God’s actions
Discovering the true meaning of
love as ________
The Spirit of Right Judgement Making decisions that

Ability to judge _______________ ______________________________
______________________________
Valuing a _____________________
_____________________________
The Spirit of Courage Strengthened to resist ___________

Ability to rise above ____________ ______________________________
______________________________
______________________________ Strengthened to live the _________
______________________________

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In Class Work
The Spirit of Knowledge Able to remember that God is

Ability to come to ______________ ______________________________
God better and to learn new ______________________________
lessons from ___________________ __________________________
The Spirit of Reverence Prayer for God’s support to ______

Ability to keep growing in ______________________________
awareness of God’s _________ and ______________________________
________
Feeling that God is _____________
______________________________
The Spirit of Wonder and _______ Wanting to show ________ God by

in God’s Presence living a life of ___________ and
Ability to ______________________ _______________
______________________________
4. List ways the sacraments of (a) Eucharist and (b) Penance empower
people to live chaste lives.

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7 God calls people to develop
a healthy sexuality

God calls people to respect the dignity of the whole person,
including their sexuality
God seeks to restore human sexuality
God’s commandments protect people from behaviours that
fail to respect the dignity of the person.
God calls people to respect the dignity of the whole

person, including their sexuality
God gives people the responsibility to work to develop healthy sexualities. To help them
God has revealed in the Bible a vision of how people should behave and has provided
them with gifts to help them develop.
Respect for the sexuality of others as males and females

Males and females reflect God and it is important to emphasise that equality between
females and males is based upon each being created in God’s image and likeness. It is
not based upon roles, nor upon what they do or are capable of doing.
In creating both sexes, it is God’s intention that each reflect God in
unique ways. The most obvious example is that women are
created capable of bearing children and men are not.
This shows that God does not create men and women
to reflect their Creator in exactly the same ways.
Nor does God create men and women to always
fulfil the same roles. For example, males are created
to reflect God by loving their children as fathers and
women by loving their children as mothers.

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7. GOD CALLS PEOPLE TO DEVELOP A HEALTHY SEXUALITY
Homosexual orientation
As they develop, some people feel that they are orientated sexually towards others of the
same gender. This is referred to as a homosexual orientation.
Homosexual orientation refers only to sexual feelings and desires. It does not refer to
any other aspects of a person.
Many teenagers and young adults can experience homosexual feelings. These are feelings
of sexual attraction to persons of the same gender. To have such feelings in adolescence
does not mean that a person will have a homosexual orientation. To engage in sexual
activity including homosexual actions in the developing teenage years can damage the
development of a healthy sexuality.
Church teaching regarding homosexual actions

God calls all human beings to develop charity and chastity. This includes those who find
that they have a sexual attraction to others of the same sex.
God forbids sexual acts between males or females with others of the same gender
because this activity is not consistent with the biblical meaning of human sexuality. Bible
teaching and hence Church teaching is that sexual activity is to be between a man and a
woman, that it be an expression of love, in a lasting relationship of marriage open to the
procreation of children. (Genesis 19; 1 Corinthians 6:9–10; 1 Timothy 1:9–10;
Romans 1: 18, 22–28 and Jude 1:7).
Many people live God’s laws related to human sexuality. These laws are as achievable
for homosexual people as for others. Homosexual persons, like those who are not
married are therefore called to be celibate and chaste. The means for being freed from
inappropriate sexual desires and impulses are as available to homosexual people as they
are to heterosexual people.
God’s laws relate to homosexual actions. In no way does God condemn people for
having a homosexual orientation. On the contrary, those who for whatever reason, have
a homosexual orientation are loved by God as is every other human person.
Respect for homosexual people

Everyone should remember that the dignity homosexual people are entitled to is the
same dignity as for everyone else. This is also supported in civil law.
Many today ridicule and even commit acts of violence against homosexual people. Any
form of persecution or ridicule of homosexual people violates their God-given dignity. It
is important to keep in mind always that those who have this orientation:
... do not choose their homosexual condition; for most of them it is a trial. They
must be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust
discrimination in their regard should be avoided. (Catechism 2358)

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In Class Work
How widely held in Australian society is the idea that the ‘whole person’ must
be respected?
What TV shows or films present situations that show respect for the ‘whole
person’? List and describe some TV shows or films that show an absence of
respect for the ‘whole person’.
What can failure to respect the ‘whole person’ lead to in relationships and in the
ways people are treated at work, school, among peers, etc?
God seeks to restore human sexuality
A person’s sexuality is healthy when it is expressed in ways originally created by God.

God wants everyone to develop a healthy sexuality and offers sacramental gifts and
guiding principles which help them to do so.
Church teaching about the dignity of human sexuality

Sexual thoughts can arise at any time. They are normal, not planned. These thoughts
should be directed to other interests and responsibilities, otherwise, they can stir sexual
desires that are hard to resist and lead people to behave in sexual ways that disobey
God’s laws.
Many people, however, deliberately stir their sexual thoughts and feelings by violating
sexual modesty. Ways they do so include:
• reading and viewing sexually explicit photographs, magazines and books
• selecting movies and TV programmes to see their sexual scenes
• imagining others, to whom they are attracted, in sexual situations
• listening to songs which have sexually explicit lyrics.
To continue sexual fantasies deliberately is called lust. The difference between natural
sexual thoughts and lust is the deliberate intent involved in lust. Lust fails to respect the
sexuality of others. It fails to give them the dignity and equality expected by God. Jesus
warned that lust breaks the sixth commandment. It fails to respect the sexuality of self
and others. Jesus gave one example:
‘…I say this to you, if a man looks at a woman lustfully, he has already
committed adultery with her in his heart.’ (Matthew 5:27–28)

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God created male and female

capable of sexual intercourse
so that they could express married love
in a special way.
Actions contrary to chastity

Masturbation is the act of deliberately stimulating genital organs to experience sexual
pleasure. It abuses the purpose of these organs, which is to express married love to a
partner of the opposite gender. Masturbation fails to respect one’s own sexual gifts and
sexuality as a male or female person.
Pre-marital sex, or fornication, was forbidden by God. Jesus described pre-marital sex as
an ‘evil’ that comes ‘from the heart’ (Mark 7:21). To those of his time, ‘evil’ meant
something that:
• broke a person’s relationship with God
• directly frustrated some good intended by God.
Premarital sex fails to respect the gifts of sexuality God has given on trust. It can be the
result of failing to relate with others as male or female persons.
When people disobey laws about healthy sexuality, they may stop going to Mass and
praying because of guilt. Yet God is always with people in their struggles with their
sexuality.
God created male and female capable of sexual intercourse so that they could express
married love in a special way. God means this act to make possible the conception of
children.
Unmarried couples do not have the kind of relationship needed to provide all that a
child needs to develop into a mature adult. Often premarital sexual relationships result
in unhappy experiences for the couple and children if they are conceived. These are
consequences that God never intended.
People who reject Jesus’ teaching about their sexuality may find it harder to live other
teachings of God.

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Church teaching condemning exploitation of human sexuality
Prostitution means engaging in sexual acts for payment. This:

• violates the dignity of both parties
• abuses their dignity as females or males
• uses sexuality in ways forbidden by God.
Some people argue that it is a person’s choice to serve as a prostitute; however,

no one is morally free to violate God’s laws. In practice, many who are
prostitutes submit because of financial difficulties, blackmail or pressures such as
feeding a drug habit. Tragically some, including many children in poorer
countries, are abducted and sold into prostitution.
Pornography is the deliberate presentation or performance of sexual images, for

the express purpose of sexual pleasure. This violates the human dignity of the
person. Pornography violates:
• the dignity of the person who is the object of sexual pleasure
• the dignity of the person who derives pleasure from viewing such activities.
Like prostitution, pornography involves looking at other people as sexual objects.

It ignores their personal hopes or achievements, hurts or difficulties in life. People
who seek sexual pleasure from pornography fail to respect their sexuality in ways
God expects. They fail to think, speak and act modestly in ways that respect
human sexuality.
Rape is forcing another person become an object of sexual gratification. It not

only violates their dignity and sexuality, but also violates justice and their God-
given rights. It usually causes long-term damage to a person.
To commit child sex abuse is to force, persuade or entice an adolescent or child to

participate in actions for sexual pleasure. This is a most serious crime against the
child or teenager. Child abuse is always the fault of the adult since the sexuality
of teenagers and children has not yet reached maturity, even if they have matured
physically.
Victims of sex abuse are often reluctant to seek help because of their feelings of
guilt. This is part of the damage abuse causes. These feelings can be misleading. In
the case of sexual abuse young people who are abused should always seek help
from someone they can trust.

Child abuse is legally as well as morally wrong and laws exist to protect children from
being abused. Where a child is in an abusive situation it must be brought to the attention
of a responsible adult for the situation to be dealt with appropriately.

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God’s commandments protect people from behaviours

that fail to respect the dignity of the person
God created human beings to have healthy and happy lives. God wishes them to develop
a healthy sexuality so that they feel positive about themselves and enjoy good
relationships with others.
In your journal reflect on these questions which relate to

the following information:
1. What important things have you learned about the

Church’s teachings that you didn’t know or understand
before?
2. What are the most positive messages you can take from
what you have learned?
3. What personal attitudes and values are clearer to you as

a result of your learning?
4. What have you found most challenging?
God’s laws are meant to protect people from different forms of harm. The sixth and
ninth commandments are meant to protect them from harming their sexuality.
People do not realise the interrelationship of these commandments. Breaking one

commandment frequently weakens people’s capacity to resist another which in
turn can eventually weaken their capacity to remain faithful in marriage.

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8 God’s plan for married love

God created marriage
Jesus revealed that marriage means ‘a man and wife joined by
God for life’
Through his Church, Jesus instituted the Sacrament of
Marriage
God forbids actions contrary to marriage
God created marriage
God revealed that marriage should be a special love relationship between a man and a
woman. This revelation about marriage is recorded in the Yahwist Creation story found
in the Bible:
... a man leaves his father and mother and becomes attached to his wife, and they
become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)
God created marriage, therefore, to be between

one man and one woman. The phrase ‘they become
one flesh’ had several meanings in Old Testament
times.
Becoming ‘one flesh’ (or one body) meant

becoming one to express an inner oneness –
or love. As explained in Genesis 2:24, ‘become one
flesh’ was an ancient eastern way of referring to
sexual intercourse. It reveals that the first purpose
of sexual intercourse is to express married love.
Becoming ‘one flesh’ meant that the love between

husband and wife must be without any
reservations. It could not be withdrawn, marriage
being a covenant between one man and one
woman for life.
In revealing that marriage should be a love

relationship, God was correcting marriage practices common in Old Testament times
where marriages were often arranged solely for business or political purposes.

8. GOD’S PLAN FOR MARRIED LOVE
The second purpose for which God created marriage is revealed with the First Creation
Story in the Bible, the Priestly account:
… in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them. God
blessed them, saying to them, ‘Be fruitful, multiply…’ (Genesis 1:27–28)
In this text, ‘in the image of God…male and female he created them’ means that males
and females should behave like God in masculine and feminine ways. The other purpose
of marriage is to ‘procreate’ children. The word, ‘procreate’, means to cooperate with
God in the conception and development of children until they reach adulthood.
God creates the soul of each child personally. It is from the soul, which is not inherited,
but directly created by God, that children receive their individuality.
Jesus revealed that marriage means ‘a man and wife

joined by God for life’
As a result of the Fall, original sin weakened married love. Married people found it difficult
to live as God wanted. Marriage for life seemed impossible for many. In Jewish society, a
man could divorce his wife by writing a writ of dismissal (see Deuteronomy 24:1–4).
Commitment in marriage
1. Draw a wedding ring. Note how it has no beginning or

end and is therefore a symbol of the continuity of a
committed marriage and the seamlessness of married
love.
2. In the centre of the ring place the names of a couple

you know whose marriage represents true commitment.
It may be your parents, your grandparents, an aunt and
uncle or your neighbours.
3. Around the outside of the ring, write down the qualities

you have observed that you feel have enabled the
couple’s commitment to grow, eg. ‘he always listens’, ‘she
never says anything negative about him to others’. Link
each quality with a line to the person whose actions
demonstrate these qualities.
4. Reflect on what you have written. Which qualities would

you like to develop? How would you go about
developing them so that, if you marry in the future, you
can strengthen your commitment to your wife or
husband? Spend a few moments in prayer, asking God’s
assistance to help you on your journey.

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The saving power of God

Jesus came to offer people the saving power of God, a power to love and to do good as God
does. With this power, received through Baptism, married people could be strengthened by
God to love each other and to remain together for life as God originally planned.
Jesus confirmed for his followers God’s intention regarding marriage. This made it possible
for them to draw upon the power of God in ways relevant to the needs of married life.
Jesus forbade remarriage after divorce

Jesus developed the teaching on marriage by explaining that married people were joined
by God and could not be divorced:
Some Pharisees approached him, and to put him to the test they said, ‘Is it against
the Law for a man to divorce his wife on any pretext whatever?’ He answered, ‘Have
you not read that the Creator from the beginning made them male and female, and
that he said: This is why a man leaves his father and mother and become attached to
his wife, and the two become one flesh? They are no longer two, therefore, but one
flesh. So then, what God has united, human beings must not divide.
They said to him, ‘Then why did Moses command that a writ of dismissal should be
given in cases of divorce?’ He said to them, ‘It was because you were so hardhearted,
that Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but it was not like this from the
beginning. Now I say this to you: anyone who divorces his wife – I am not speaking
of an illicit marriage – and marries another, is guilty of adultery.’ (Matthew 19:3–9)

Illicit marriages were those between family members, people previously married but not
divorced, and a sexual relationship between two people of the same gender (Leviticus 18).

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Through his Church, Jesus

instituted the Sacrament
of Marriage
Through his Church, Jesus instituted a special
sacrament for baptised couples, called the
Sacrament of Marriage. This sacrament enables
married couples to draw on the power of God’s
love to help them live the many challenges of
married life.
In Class Work
Research the difference between a

Church marriage and a civil marriage.
Make a list of the things a couple is

required to do and have if they wish to
marry in the Catholic Church.
Gifts received through the Sacrament of Marriage

Through the Sacrament of Marriage, married people are offered gifts to help them live
marriage as God planned. As they do so, their love and happiness deepens.
Effects of the graces (gifts) of the Sacrament of Marriage in daily life
Gift Examples of effects

Love and unity strengthened Husband and wife can draw on God’s love to
strengthen their marriage relationship
Jesus is with them to strengthen Husband and wife can draw on Jesus’ power
them to: to help them face and overcome daily difficulties
of married life
• take up their crosses
• to rise again after they have

fallen
• to forgive one another
• to bear one another’s burdens
• to serve one another as

Jesus served his Apostles
(John 13:1–15)

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As with the gifts of every sacrament, those received through Marriage need to be
developed. They need to be strengthened if married couples are to draw upon these
gifts. To do so, they need:
• to pray daily. This prayer needs to include asking God for help with any issue or
problem affecting their marriage
• to receive Jesus in Holy Communion. Without the Eucharist, the spiritual gifts of
marriage lack the spiritual nourishment they need to grow stronger
• after sin, to be reconciled by Jesus with God through the Sacrament of
Reconciliation. Otherwise the closeness with God needed to strengthen their married
love and the gifts of the Sacrament of Marriage will be lacking
• to strive sincerely to live the commandments related to marriage.
In Class Work
Write a half page explanation on the extra dimension Jesus offers to

marriage by making it a ‘sacrament’ of the Church. In particular, explain
the effects of the gifts of the sacrament.

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God forbids actions contrary to marriage
As discussed earlier, the two purposes of marriage are:

• the growing loving union between husband and wife
• the procreation of children.
God forbids actions which frustrate these purposes. Such actions weaken marriage
relationships. They also weaken the sexuality of people. This can affect their
ability to remain faithful in marriage.
Actions against the union between husband and wife

There are five basic actions that violate the marriage vows taken between a
husband and wife.
Adultery
Adultery is sexual intercourse between a man and a woman, one or both of whom
is married to someone else. Jesus identified adultery as an‘evil’ that comes from
the heart - just like pre-marital sex (Mark 7:22).
Through adultery, people deprive themselves of God’s guidance and strength,

abusing the sexual gifts meant to express married love.
Remarriage after divorce

Many people marry and later separate. There can be many reasons for this. Most
people in these situations divorce. However, the command of Jesus is that they
cannot remarry while their spouse remains alive.
Through the power of God, Jesus supports and consoles separated marriage
partners. He strengthens them to move on with their lives by supporting them
with his grace to live a chaste single life.
Remarriage after civil divorce is forbidden by God for several reasons:

• God created marriage to be a life-long relationship
• children of the marriage can suffer
• children can be torn between their parents and this violates their rights
and so is unjust.
God forbids actions

contrary to marriage

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REMARRIAGE AFTER DIVORCE

Incest
DE FACTO
Incest means sexual relations between members and in-laws of the immediate
family whose relationship is too close to permit a legal marriage. This is
forbidden by God and is also considered to be a grave offence in civil law.
Living together or de facto unions

Sexual intercourse between couples who live together without being married is
the same as fornication, pre-marital sex or in some cases adultery. It is forbidden
by God and identified by Jesus as ‘evil’ (Mark 7:21).
Trial-marriage
A trial-marriage is where a couple, who intend to marry to live together as
husband and wife before marrying. Again, sexual intercourse between any couple
who have not married is the same as pre-marital sex. It is forbidden by God and
identified by Jesus as ‘evil’ (Mark 7:21).
Marriage annulment
People can go through a marriage ceremony in good faith, unaware that one or
more conditions for a valid marriage is not present. There are many reasons why
this can happen, even though the couple are sincere and in good faith at the time
of the marriage.
The actual reasons why a marriage might not be valid are very complex. Where
one or both people in a divorced couple fail to fulfil the conditions for a valid
marriage, they receive an annulment. This is a legal document stating that no
marriage in fact took place, leaving each person free to marry again.
A Church Matrimonial Tribunal grants a marriage annulment. Divorced people
ADULTERY
apply for annulments to this Tribunal.
TRIAL-MARRIAGE
MARRIAGE ANNULMENT
INCEST
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CONTENTS CHAPTER
In Class Work
Use the information from Chapters 7 and 8 to help find the best answer for
each of the following.
1. The Sixth and Ninth Commandments are specifically meant to protect:

a) the welfare of parents
b) people from harming their sexuality
c) a neighbour’s private property
d) a person’s good name
2. Jesus revealed that marriage is life-long. Therefore:

a) what God has united, let no person divide
b) existing illicit marriages are to remain in place
c) marriage can only be dissolved by a ‘writ of dismissal’
d) if one partner dies, the other must never remarry
3. To develop the gifts of the Sacrament of Marriage couples need:

a) to pray daily and strive to live the commandments
b) to receive Jesus in Holy Communion
c) after sin, to be reconciled by Jesus with God through Penance
d) all of the above
4. Write an article for a Catholic magazine with the following title:
A wedding is one day; marriage is for life!
In order to write the article research and address the Catholic understanding
of marriage; the beauty and importance of Christian marriage in Australian
society and how Christian marriage goes against Australian social trends.

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CONTENTS CHAPTER

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This chapter presents the following key learning points:

Adolescence is a period of rapid change in the

It is important not to focus only on the physical changes in adolescence, but to

COME FOLLOW ME – YEAR 9 261

Challenges and opportunities

262 COME FOLLOW ME – YEAR 9

Adolescence is a time of preparation for adult life

Spend some time reflecting on the relationships you now

How is the way you relate with people in your life

Factors that influence an adolescent’s development

Adolescence is a time of physical, social and emotional development. It is also meant to

As a result, one adolescent

COME FOLLOW ME – YEAR 9 263

This chapter presents the following key learning points:

Persons communicate with one another by

“The [human] body, and it alone, is capable

COME FOLLOW ME – YEAR 9 265

As a class, brainstorm sayings that have to do with non-verbal expression eg.

This is a ‘body-talk’ exercise. It relies on your skills of non-verbal communication.

Evaluation: Discuss how easy or difficult it was to interpret meaning

Research: What percentage of our communication with other

‘Sexuality’ refers to how one understands oneself and

Sexuality refers to the total person

266 COME FOLLOW ME – YEAR 9

‘Sexuality’ is related to but different from ‘sex’

COME FOLLOW ME – YEAR 9 267

The different types of love

The word love can mean different things to

The strength of familial love can be seen when family members:

268 COME FOLLOW ME – YEAR 9

It takes time to develop a healthy sexuality

Reflect on these questions. In your journal, jot down any

Spend some time writing about what you need to do to

Adolescents should be wary of sexual experimentation

Young people need to be particularly wary of engaging in sexual experimentation.

COME FOLLOW ME – YEAR 9 269

Young people need to be aware of the possible consequences of engaging in sexual

Each adolescent develops in a unique way

Adolescents need to understand and appreciate the

270 COME FOLLOW ME – YEAR 9

Developing self discipline

Where this happens, sexual feelings can control how a

Sexual self-discipline involves understanding one’s sexual

COME FOLLOW ME – YEAR 9 271

All personal gifts need to be developed to support a

272 COME FOLLOW ME – YEAR 9

1. Explain the difference between ‘sexuality’ and ‘sex’.

3. Why should young people be particularly wary of engaging in sexual

4. List four possible consequences of engaging in sexual experimentation.

5. Individuals learn to integrate and express their sexuality in mature and

COME FOLLOW ME – YEAR 9 273

This chapter presents the following key learning points:

People develop a healthy sexuality as

Every human gift has a purpose.

The development of a healthy

A person’s sexuality has a purpose

God’s teaching is recorded in various

COME FOLLOW ME – YEAR 9 275

The Priestly Creation Story

God teaches that sexuality is the basis for all relationship

The Yahwist Creation Story

Human sexuality, therefore, is not primarily about sexual intercourse or human