no matter how hard i try or how much effort i put in

the results are always average

i cant go on like this
constantly being manipulated by useless measures of worth
ive already come to hate this life
so, i think ill restart my life

my chest is completely filled with "abnormality"

im becoming a me that isnt normal
i ask myself over and over, "did i get it?
a brand new me."

look at me now, touch me right now

ill throw away my ordinary clothes
now, from my chrysalis, ill become a butterfly
ill show off everything as it is
therе are no performers on this coolеd-off stage
so ill beat out the steps, 1, 2, 3
im not being manipulated
im dancing! yeah, im going crazy!

x/x (mon)
cloudy again.
i had a strange dream, but i cant remember much.
its like my heart is closed off.
i dont feel anything.

x/x (tue)
cloudy again.
i dont feel like studying.
i zoned out during class, so im glad i didnt get called on.

x/x (wed)
cloudy again.
tomorrows when test start.
as expected, ill study for them.

x/x (thu)
cloudy again.
i couldnt sleep because i was studying till dawn.
i feel refreshed.

x/x (fri)
cloudy again.
theres more tests today.
i feel like i answered the questions to some extent.
the studying was worth it.

x/x (mon)
cloudy again.
our tests came back.
even with all that, im still stuck at an average score.
i dont feel anything.

x/x (tue)
cloudy again.
it seems that [redacted] from our class
is entering some competition.
i dont feel anything.

x/x (wed)
cloudy again.
i was suddenly called [redacted] during break time.
cant help the rumors floating around.
i dont feel anything.

x/x (thu)
cloudy again.
i have this feeling like somethings
wriggling around in my head.
its uncomfortable.

x/x (fri)
cloudy again.
its all dirty when i look in the mirror.
i wiped and wiped, but it doesnt help.
its uncomfortable.

x/x (mon)
cloudy again.
in the morning assembly [redacted] was commended.
seems like she got excellent grades.
i dont care. its uncomfortable.

x/x (tue)
cloudy again.
seems like theres planning for the school festival.
that [redacted]s gonna be in charge, everyones
enthusiastic. its uncomfortable.

x/x (wed)
cloudy again.
the class decided to do a play.
[redacted] was unexpectedly overjoyed.
they were appointed behind the
scenes by [redacted], the protagonist.
i was a little happy.
my head hurts.

x/x (thu)
cloudy again.
most of the class wound up behind the scenes,
so lots are starting the preparations.
somethings irritating me.
my head hurts.

"normality" cast a curse on me

and i yearned for "abnormality"
i dont have any interest in your differing opinions or pet theories;
ive already locked the door
i went beyond "love" and "hate"
and fell deeply in love with "abnormality" a long time ago
and from the ruins of that warped love, it was created—
a brand new me

look at me now, touch me right now

ill throw away my ordinary clothes
now, from my chrysalis, ill become a butterfly
ill show off everything as it is
there are no performers on this cooled-off stage
so ill beat out the steps, 1, 2, 3
im not being manipulated
im dancing! yeah, im going crazy!

x/x (fri)
cloudy again.
when i stroked the mirror, it cracked.
i cut my finger a little. im frustrated.

x/x (mon)
cloudy again.
all the talking around mes so noisy.
[redacted] asked me how the production was going.
in the spur of the moment. i stumbled on my words.
we managed to talk.

x/x (tue)
cloudy again.
everything around mes so noisy.
i stumbled and touched the wound, so my fingers are dirty.
im frustrated.

x/x (wed)
cloudy again.
the sounds are echoing in my head and its troubling me.
i wipe and wipe but the dirt wont come off my fingers.
[redacted] met eyes with me and smiled.
im not qualified enough for that.

x/x (thu)
cloudy again.
[redacted]s voice is beautiful.
not just that, everything about her
is perfect to the point of abnormality.
how did i never notice this until now?

x/x (fri)
cloudy again.
[redacted] talked to me.
she stands out so extraordinarily.
i feel like i was watching [redacted] all day.

x/x (mon)
what does [redacted] have that i dont?
i tried to imitate [redacted] a little.
i feel like my hearts calmed down.

x/x (tue)
the mirror i just bought is dirty.
i wipe and wipe but it wont go away.

x/x (wed)
i tried talking to people around me just like [redacted].
i was met with different gazes than i usually get.
its kind of a special feeling.

x/x (thu)
i dared to talk to [redacted].
i think i talked more differently than i thought,
but i was interrupted halfway.
i dont get it.

x/x (fri)
i stared at the dirt on the mirror.
for some reason, the pattern looks beautiful.
ill put off wiping it for a while.

x/x (sat)
i had a strange dream.

x/x (mon)
the pattern on the mirror changes every day.
when i talked to [redacted] i got laughed at.
i couldnt hear their voices.

x/x (tue)
for the past few days ive been seeing
indecipherable dreams.
the pattern on the mirror is beautiful.

x/x (wed)
another dream where i keep adverting the gaze of others.
my head hurts.

x/x (thu)
i dreamt of dancing in a dress.
my head hurts.

x/x (fri)
in my dream, [redacted] was dancing with a stranger.
i woke up the second our eyes met.
my head hurts.

x/x (sat)
i slept five times.
i wanted to dream.
im irritated.

x/x (mon)
the beautiful me.
the beautiful you.
is this love?

x/x (tue)
i am me.
who are you?
are you also me?

x/x (wed)
i want to see you in my dreams.

x/x (thu)
i like you
x/x (fri)
how happy would i be if i could
become a butterfly like you.

x/x (sat)
do i need to coordinate my
sleeves to match with the toes of my shoes?

x/x (sun)
sew together one by one.
along the line, stitch the dots.
a collection for me alone.

x/x (mon)
i transformed into a different me!

x/x (tue)
the dream should have ended as a dream.
my longing should have been thrown away.

x/x (wed)
[redacted]

x/x (thu)
you are me.
i am you.

x/x (fri)
i like you.

x/x (sat)
i feel disgusting.
i had a feeling like i wasnt me.

x/x (sun)
look at me

x/x (mon)
look at me look at me look at me look at me
look at me look at me look at me look at me
look at me look at me look at me look at me

x/x (tue)
looked.

x/x (wed)
everyones so noisy.
shut up.

x/x (thu)
shut up.

x/x (fri)
shut up.

x/x (sat)
i saw a butterfly.
x/x (sun)
i became a butterfly.

in a dark room by myself

before the mirror at midnight
"who are you?" "who am i?"
i asked, but received no reply

go crazy, go crazy, go crazy, go crazy, go crazy, go crazy, go crazy, dance

oh, brand new me...

look at me now, touch me right now

dressed up in transparent clothes
now, from my chrysalis, ill become a butterfly
ill show off everything as it is
there are no performers on this impassioned stage
so ill beat out the steps, 1, 2, 3
im not being manipulated
im dancing! yeah, im going crazy!

my chest is completely filled with "abnormality"

im becoming a me that isnt normal
and from the ruins of that warped love, it was created—an unfulfillable love
my chest is completely filled with "abnormality"
im becoming a me that isnt normal
i ask myself over and over, "did i get it?

a brand new me."