Journal of Humanistic

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Psychology

Existential Regret: A Crossroads of Existential Anxiety and Existential Guilt

Marijo Lucas
Journal of Humanistic Psychology 2004 44: 58
DOI: 10.1177/0022167803259752

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10.1177/0022167803259752
Existential
Marijo N. Lucas
Regret ARTICLE
EXISTENTIAL REGRET:
A CROSSROADS OF EXISTENTIAL
ANXIETY AND EXISTENTIAL GUILT

MARIJO LUCAS, Ph.D., is an associate professor in

the Graduate Psychology Program at Immaculata
University, where she teaches courses and guides
dissertations in Existential-Humanistic Theories
and Applications (EHTA). She also is in part-time
private practice in Yardley and West Chester,
Pennsylvania. She supports the growth of EHTA by
coordinating the annual visit of a scholar in EHTA to
Immaculata and by sponsoring an annual EHTA Student Research Award
(honoring James Bugental and Hobart Thomas) at the PPA convention.
She recently presented at the WAPCEPC’s PCE 2003 Conference in The
Netherlands and the NASPR Conference in Rhode Island, and she has
written several essays in the AHP Perspective on wanting and sincerity.

Summary

This article examines the experience of existential regret, defined as

a profound desire to go back and change a past experience in which
one has failed to choose consciously or has made a choice that did not
follow one’s beliefs, values, or growth needs. The person experiences
a combination of existential anxiety and existential guilt. Existen-
tial anxiety stems from confrontation with existential givens, in-
cluding the finitude of past choices, inability to change the past, and
the finitude of freedom in the past. With existential regret, the object
of regret is an experience in which one failed to make a conscious,
wholehearted choice and instead has made a choice in a moment of
bad faith or lack of authentic presence and subjectivity. One’s sense
is of having abandoned and betrayed the self, thereby feeling deep
existential guilt. A paralysis of action and choice may follow. Distinc-
tions, examples, implications, and recommendations are also
discussed.

Keywords: existential; regret; guilt; kindfulness; presence

Journal of Humanistic Psychology, Vol. 44 No. 1, Winter 2004 58-70

DOI: 10.1177/0022167803259752
© 2004 Sage Publications

58

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 Marijo N. Lucas 59

If a man in the morning hear the right way, he may die in the evening
without regret.
—Confucius

This article examines the phenomenological experience of a par-

ticular type of regret, termed existential regret. Existential regret
is expressed as a profound desire and aching to go back and change
a past experience in which one has failed to consciously choose or
made a choice which did not follow one’s beliefs, values, or growth
needs. It is a painful blending of existential anxiety and existential
guilt.

EXISTENTIAL ANXIETY

Regret is often expressed as a desire to go back and change a

past experience. In particular, we want to change a previous choice,
and therefore existentially face the lack of freedom to choose in the
past. When experiencing regrets, we face life’s finitudes: the fini-
tude of past choices, the finitude of our ability to change the past,
the finitude of freedom in the past, and often the finitudes of free-
dom and choice in the future. Therefore, most regrets involve fac-
ing life’s givens and often include an expressed existential anxiety
that stems from confrontation with existential givens (Bugental,
1965; Yalom, 1980). We face existential anxiety in relation to accep-
tance, or lack of acceptance, of some of life’s givens—the finitude of
choices, limitations regarding the past, and therefore the finitude
of freedom in the past.

EXISTENTIAL GUILT

With one type of regret, existential regret, the object of regret is

an experience in which one failed to make a conscious, whole-
hearted choice and instead made a choice in a moment of bad faith
or lack of authentic presence and subjectivity. One’s sense, then, is
of having abandoned and betrayed the self, thereby feeling deep
existential guilt (Yalom, 1980). Hence, in these moments of exis-
tential regret, existential anxiety is coupled with existential guilt.
These are moments in which we acted without purposeful, con-
scious choosing. We were not present (Bugental, 1978); our experi-
ence was more characterized by a divided consciousness, and hence

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60 Existential Regret

we were living in bad faith (Sartre, 1956). For me, it is a sense that I
abandoned myself at that moment and instead serviced another
reality at the expense of my current experience, needs, and choices.
The effect is that at some level I feel I let myself down and did not
make the choice when I had it to make. Now that my deeper, reflex-
ive self has failed me, I feel I have let myself down on many levels
and I am acutely angry, despairing, and full of regret. I also experi-
ence that I can do nothing about it. Here we can see that some
regrets—existential regrets—include a feeling of existential or
ontological guilt, the guilt one feels in having abandoned the self,
having let the subjective self down, or, as May (1983) expressed it,
having forfeited one’s own potentialities.
I propose that those regrets that are most painful and remain
with us longer are existential regrets, which lie at a crossroads of
existential anxiety and existential guilt. Here we couple existen-
tial guilt in having abandoned the self, having let the self down,
with existential anxiety in confronting our inability to go back and
reclaim the moment when we had the ability to choose.
Existential regrets may also come from betraying ourselves in
other ways. Sometimes we consciously consider our choices and let
ourselves down by choosing to do what is easier rather than
responding to our inner values, integrity, beliefs, potential, and
knowledge. As Maslow (1967/1993) pointed out, although we have
an actualizing tendency, we also sometimes defend against growth
through what he called the Jonah Complex:

We are generally afraid to become that which we can glimpse in our

most perfect moments, under the most perfect conditions, under con-
ditions of greatest courage. We enjoy and even thrill to the godlike
possibilities we see in ourselves in such peak moments. And yet we
simultaneously shiver with weakness, awe, and fear before these
very same possibilities. (p. 34)

We “run away from” our potentialities and responsibilities by evad-

ing “consciousness of the truth” (p. 39). We are “afraid to know the
truth” (p. 38). He warns, “If you deliberately plan to be less than
you are capable of being, then I warn you that you’ll be deeply un-
happy for the rest of your life. You will be evading your own capaci-
ties, your own possibilities” (p. 35). These existential regrets leave
us anxious, angry, and less forgiving of ourselves.
When I listen for regrets, I commonly hear bad faith moments
expressed in psychotherapy. One young woman had a face lift. She

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 Marijo N. Lucas 61

did not consider potential risks, and an infection following surgery

almost killed her and left her with facial scarring and distortion. I
recall other women who without forethought invited men into situ-
ations in which the women were sexually assaulted. Some clients
married without listening to their doubts and found themselves in
bad marriages. Others married and had affairs, which they regret-
ted. Finally, others procrastinated facing financial responsibilities
until ultimately they were beset by a mountain of problems.
In a more subtle situation, an adolescent client, Jennifer, came
to me with problems of anxiety and procrastination. She con-
sciously chose to go shopping, take naps, snack, talk with friends,
or watch television rather than completing her homework. Each
day as she faced assignments left incomplete, she dreaded the ever
increasing backlog of work and reprimands from teachers and par-
ents. Much of her anxiety stemmed from her dread of responsibil-
ity as well as her dread in facing the consequences of her ongoing
choices to procrastinate. She had to face that she could not will the
assignments away. After resolving her problem of procrastination,
her anxiety diminished. Once she recognized the peace that came
from not procrastinating, she was left with existential regret; she
was frustrated and angry that she had let herself down for the past
few years. Her grades had improved and she was able to get into a
very good college; however, she was unable to get into the college
she wanted because her earlier grades were poor. Through her
therapy, she was able to face the consequences of her past choice
and become more determined not to let herself down in this way
again. She became much more aware of opportunities and choices
and was more mindful of making choices that were best for her
overall growth rather than her immediate pleasure. In a follow-up
session years later, she reflected on how her peers do not take
advantage of life’s opportunities in the way she has learned to do.
She is more invested in life and has more awe and curiosity about
the world around her.

EXISTENTIAL ANXIETY WITHOUT

EXISTENTIAL GUILT AND REGRET

To further clarify existential regrets, we can distinguish them

from other situations that are similar yet not the same. Examples
include mistakes, our thrown condition, and ambivalence around

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62 Existential Regret

making a choice. At these times we experience existential anxiety

in facing life givens, yet we do not experience existential guilt. We
may have regret, but we do not classify it as existential regret. In
therapy, it is important to recognize these as significant existential
moments to address with clients; however, the working through
will include the existential anxiety but less likely any existential
guilt.

Mistakes

Sometimes we consciously consider options, make a reasonable

decision, and later wish we had made a different choice. We would
prefer to have done the opposite; we accuse ourselves of having
made a mistake. When we are present, conscious of our choosing,
and make the choice we believe is consistent with our beliefs, val-
ues, and understanding of future consequences, we find regrets to
be fewer, more bearable, and transient. We are more forgiving of
ourselves. We face the existential anxiety associated with a loss of
freedom and choice in the past, but because the choice was made in
good faith, the internal feeling is one of forgiving ourselves for this
mistake. We experience regret and existential anxiety, but we do
not experience existential guilt. This regret is therefore considered
here a regret but not an existential regret.

Choosing

The act of choosing also often stimulates existential anxiety. As

Bugental and Bugental (n.d.) point out, “Every choice is a thou-
sand relinquishments.” To choose means to relinquish or even kill
other choices and possibilities. It is a crossroads in which one road
is taken at the expense of having the opportunity to experience the
other road. In other words, we face life’s finitudes when making a
choice. We face the finitude in having all we want, as well as the
finitude of our ability to predict the future. Often, choices are post-
poned out of this existential anxiety. It is experienced as a fear of
later regretting the choice, a fear of later wishing we had made the
other choice, and a reluctance to give up the other options. Unfortu-
nately, the decision to not choose often leads to the loss of options,
too.
In Sophie’s Choice (Styron, 1976/1992), Sophie is in line with her
children at a Nazi concentration camp. She is distraught and in

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 Marijo N. Lucas 63

frantic agony as she is required to choose which of her two children

she can keep with her, and which child will be taken from her and
likely put to death. She first refuses to choose, and the officer
insists that if she does not choose she will lose both children. This is
one of many examples in which this novel provides examples of
existential anxiety and choice. Some may see Sophie as having
regret, existential regret. One can point to her apparent shame in
having made these choices, evident in her having kept these
choices a secret.
Perhaps, however, Sophie’s experience, pain, and shame are not
existential regret; perhaps her experience, pain, and shame are
related to her thrown condition but not a sense of regret that she
has let herself down or made a bad faith choice. It seems instead
that each of her choices were made with conscious choosing, and
they could be considered the best choice she could make given a
number of choices that were all painful options. She may feel
regret, trauma, and shame in having to make the choices; the ques-
tion is whether she regrets the actual choices she made. Perhaps
the regret is not the existential regret referred to in this article;
rather, it may be existential anxiety—agony over the existential
givens and her thrown condition.

Thrown Condition

Hence, existential regret should also be distinguished from a

regrettable situation, or our thrown condition. We do not always
have a choice regarding our life circumstances, events, and so
forth. Much of our life circumstances and experiences are given to
us, without choice. These aspects of life that are thrown upon us
leave us with an awareness, anxiety, dread, and anguish regarding
our thrown condition, or “thrownness” (Heidegger, 1927/1962).
This existential anguish was noted in Sophie’s Choice when
Nathan cried out in a tone that might have been deemed a parody
of existential anguish had it not possessed the resonances of com-
plete unfeigned terror: “Don’t . . . you . . . see . . . Sophie . . . we . . . are
. . . dying! Dying!” (Styron, 1976/1992, p. 83).
Is part of our discomfort in watching or reading about Sophie’s
Choice not only her choices but also the ways in which her life was
void of choice? Was she making the best of a very difficult thrown
condition? I would argue, very possibly. I would go so far as to argue
that her friend, Stingo, experienced more existential regret than

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64 Existential Regret

Sophie, who struggled with her thrown condition. Perhaps Sophie’s

Choice could be in reference not only to Sophie’s choices but also to
the fact that Stingo allowed Sophie to choose for him while he shut
down his attunement to his own inner pain and grief:

Despite all this frustration, I [Stingo] began to try to convince

myself, with partial success, that I was happy; certainly I was hap-
pier than I had been in as long as I could remember. Thus I was ready
to bide my time and discover what might felicitously happen . . . I
shivered violently, as if someone had thrown open at my back in the
dead of winter a portal on the Arctic wastes. It was nothing so grand
as what might be called a premonition—this clammy feeling which
overtook me, in which the day darkened swiftly, along with my con-
tentment—but I was suddenly ill-at-ease enough to long desper-
ately to escape, to rush from the train. If, in my anxiety, I had done so,
hopping off at the next stop and hurrying back to Yetta Zimmer-
man’s to pack my bags and flee, this would be another story, or
rather, there would be no story at all to tell. But I allowed myself to
plunge on toward Coney Island, thus making sure to help fulfill
Sophie’s prophesy about the three of us: that we would become “the
best of friends.” (pp. 82-83)

SUBJECTIVE DEFINITION

Regret and existential regret are individually and subjectively

experienced and defined. They are defined not by events and
choices, but by the person’s experience of the choice and the desire
to go back and change the decision. Although I use Sophie’s Choice
(Styron, 1976/1992) as an example to illustrate several points, no
one but Sophie and Stingo can determine whether they experi-
enced regret or existential regret.
When the French golfer Jean Van de Velde lost his three-shot
lead on the 18th hole in the Open Championship, most people
expected him to experience the same agony and regret as his col-
leagues Scott Hoch, Tony Jacklin, and others who experienced dis-
tress in the face of their similar loses in major championships.
However, he was not scarred by the experience. Jock Howard wrote
of Jean Van de Velde’s experience and entitled the article, “Je Ne
Regrette Rien” (2000). Howard wrote,

Van de Velde insists that his week at Carnoustie was nothing but
positive. “I gave 100% at Carnoustie and I walked out there with my
chin pretty straight. And it wasn’t quite enough. But I’ll tell you
this—I couldn’t live with myself if I’d tried to play safe and then

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 Marijo N. Lucas 65

blown it. There was no guarantee that I’d make a six if I’d played
safe.”

Perhaps Van de Velde’s experience is better framed again as one

of having experienced the agony of a thrown condition or experi-
ence. In a stroke of extreme bad luck, his ball hit a tiny piece of the
grandstand that was facing back toward the tee. Any other part of
the stand and his ball would have been safe. I expect he experi-
enced existential anxiety in facing his inability to change the past,
but he did not seem to experience existential guilt. He did not
appear to believe he failed himself; instead, his sense was one of
having given 100%. He actually did mention having regrets about
two decisions he made playing the last few strokes. These regrets
may not have lingered or pained him because he believed that he
gave his 100% and made conscious choices. His regrets were appar-
ently felt as mistakes of sorts, but not self-abandonment or
existential regret.
Similarly, Edith Piaf and Frank Sinatra sang popular songs
about having no regrets. Edith Piaf, who led a difficult life includ-
ing many failed relationships, substance abuse, and periods of
depression, sang “Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien.” The first chapter of
her book, My Life (2001), carries the same title. She begins the
chapter, “By the time I die, so much will have been said about me
that no one will know any longer what kind of person I was.”
I also believe we cannot fully know whether she or any person
experiences regrets. Many may look at her life or at her defiant
assertion that she had no regrets, and believe she must have had
regrets. Her perspective is presented as “I’ve lived a terrible life,
it’s true. But also a marvelous life, because in the first place I loved
life.” She, like Sophie, was born into harsh conditions. Did Piaf
believe she made the best choices for herself, given her situation?
And/or was she able to forgive herself, in the way she felt some of
the public had not done? She ends her first chapter with,

This is a confession, and all that I say from now on will be perhaps
my last confession. What I want is for someone, after they’ve heard
everything, to say . . . “Her many sins are forgiven, for she loved
much.” (pp. 9-10)

Is her longing for forgiveness from others a longing for something

she had not granted herself? Or was she able to perceive herself,
her choices, and life in a way quite different from those around her?

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66 Existential Regret

These same questions can be asked of Frank Sinatra (Anka,

1969), who sang,

Regrets, I’ve had a few;

But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do,
And saw it through without exception.
I planned each charted course,
But more than this, I did it my way.

Sinatra, like Piaf, had much success, but also many troubled times.
They both lived lives that some would view negatively. However,
when speaking of regret and existential regret, the origin and defi-
nition of the experience lies solely with the person experiencing it.
Therefore, we should be cautious with clients in assuming the cli-
ent does experience regret. Instead of assuming it is there, probing
excessively for it, or accusing the client of denial when it is not ex-
perienced, therapists should remain aware of its possibility and
foster a climate conducive for clients to discover and express regret
when it emerges.

RESPONSES TO EXISTENTIAL REGRET:

PARALYSIS AND ATTEMPTS TO UNDO

Existential regret is often followed by a paralysis—a lost per-

spective. We find ourselves not wanting to accept the finality of the
present situation. We want to fend off thoughts of it, change the
present situation, and other times consider destroying ourselves
rather than face the future based on this current situation. We
even sometimes lose perspective regarding choices that can now be
made to minimize the consequences or to move forward. Some-
times along with accepting the past, the present and future conse-
quences are too fully accepted. We go from not accepting the previ-
ous choice to embedding ourselves in a decision from the past, with
a belief that the damage has been caused and we must accept the
consequential reality. In other words, in accepting the conse-
quences, we sometimes fail to see future choices in relation to deal-
ing with the consequences. Our ability and the effects of current
choices are sometimes distorted. Many of us can relate to a minor
example: After stepping on the surge protector and losing a file, we
stare at the blank screen, imagining that retyping our work will be

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 Marijo N. Lucas 67

impossible or take days. In fact, retyping what has already been

created is much less difficult and painful than imagined in that
paralysis.
People in painful relational mistakes fantasize about running
away or even killing themselves. They imagine life and relation-
ships can never be good. I wonder whether this is the moment in
which people desperately try to get their former partners to return
to a lost relationship. They resort to bribes or enticements to try to
convince the lover to return. They may even report that they do not
care whether the person wants to return, they just want the rela-
tionship back the way it was. They want to avoid accepting the
finality of choice and the consequences of that choice.
Therapists, too, may find existential finalities unbearable and
unconsciously collude with clients in their attempts to undo their
situations. Therapists may minimize the consequences, offer alter-
natives to make the situation better, and challenge the client’s
belief about the significance of the choice and situation—attempts
to undo the situation so the therapist does not have to bear witness
to the existential pain and regret. Erik Baard (2003), in his article
“New Science Raises the Specter of a World Without Regret,”
describes how current research is being developed to numb the
memories of trauma. He expresses concern that this technology
may also be used to avoid painful consequences of our behavior—
an emotional morning-after pill to fend off the birth of regret and
anxiety.
Instead of attempting to undo their regrets, we can help clients
and ourselves look and lean into the future. In doing so, we can see
options available, choices in the future that may affect the current
situation. With this we face freedom and choices, as well as the lim-
its and finitude of these choices. We face the responsibility to our-
selves for these choices. The freedom, choice, finitude, and respon-
sibility can be energizing and frightening. As Henry David
Thoreau advised, “Make the most of your regrets; never smother
your sorrow. . . . To regret deeply is to live afresh” (cited in Baard,
2003).

CLINICAL IMPLICATIONS

What are the implications for working with clients in psycho-

therapy? I find that after working through these bad faith, existen-

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68 Existential Regret

tial regrets, I and others often experience a determination to live

more choicefully and affirmatively in the future. Therefore, I sug-
gest that when clients experience existential regret, pointing
toward this experience in such a way that clients can come to a
clearer phenomenological understanding of the experience will
help facilitate the life force that engenders a determination to
move past the paralysis and learn from the experience. In other
words, we should help the client to clarify the experience, how it
was experienced, and to avoid the unending questions of why it
happened. To explore the moments immediately surrounding the
regretted experience and understanding how it happened is more
illuminating than to examine more distant historical explanations
for why it happened. Often in simply observing the experience
more fully, the client is able to articulate the sense of having not
been present, having not made a good faith choice, and having let
the self down. This illumination allows us to highlight the existen-
tial lessons: to live with intentionality and choicefulness and not
abandon themselves in the present for the sake of giving into this
hurried, dissociated nonliving surrounding us. Regrets can be
opportunities to learn to appreciate, savor, and taste choices more
fully; then, regrets will be experienced as mistakes rather than
moments of bad faith.
We need to be watchful, however, of the neurotic response—the
tendency to express self-disdain for the errors and to proclaim a
renewed desire to achieve perfection. Hence, this moment in ther-
apy can allow for observations of approach to self and living. Does
one humbly and wisely embrace this moment of error as an exam-
ple of one’s humanity? Or does one assert a renewed addictive
desire for perfection, rather than a renewed appreciation for one’s
subjectivity, humanness, and difficulty in forgiving ourselves? I
knew one woman had turned a corner in her work when she
announced her New Year’s resolution. Rather than her typical
objectified goals of spending less money, eating less, or keeping a
clean house, she resolved to “stop lying to myself.” I saw this as a
more subjective and fundamental problem underlying her
behavioral problems and concerns.
As therapists, we should also be alert to ways in which thera-
pists and clients can keep clients stuck in their regrets, lost in bad
faith, wasted time, wasted energy, and wasted life. Clients may
avoid confronting their regret and remain stuck when they provide
soliloquies of excuses, externalize blame, or ruminations. Simi-

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 Marijo N. Lucas 69

larly, therapists may perpetuate this avoidance by exploring and

supporting these distractions or by minimizing the significance of
the choice and consequences. Often, therapists will challenge the
client’s belief and instead try to encourage the client to see the situ-
ation as fully out of personal control, challenging the regret as an
irrational belief. Such a stance does not tolerate the client’s regret
or self-blame.
Finally, therapists can point toward small examples of regrets
that typically occur during the therapy process. These may include
the client’s regrets regarding previous sessions or moments earlier
in the session. Yalom (1995) encourages clients to evaluate their
satisfaction with each session, sometimes in comparison with
other sessions, in an effort to help teach them to become responsi-
ble for their own sessions. Clients typically point to those sessions
and moments in sessions that are here and now focused/subjective
and present as being the most helpful. Here, regrets allow for
opportunities to live more fully in the therapy sessions, just as we
can help them to use existential regrets to live more fully outside of
therapy also.

SUMMARY

When choices are made from a stance of intentionality and sub-

jectivity, regrets are fewer and more bearable. We struggle with
existential anxiety regarding the finitude of our choices, but we do
not have a concomitant existential guilt about having let ourselves
down. Yet when choices are made in a climate of a relative lack of
choicefulness, lack of intentionality, and lack of presence and sub-
jectivity, then we experience existential anxiety and existential
guilt. We also may experience a paralysis of action and choice and
lose the perspective of our own ability to redeem ourselves—our
current choices—and to move on. Instead, we may become obsessed
with the choice and fail to see alternatives. We may even continue
in bad faith and increase our sense of regret, paralysis of choice,
and lost perspective. As therapists, we should also be alert to ways
in which therapists and clients can keep clients stuck in their
regrets, lost in bad faith, wasted time, wasted energy, and wasted
life. I suggest that when clients experience existential regret,
pointing toward this experience in such a way that clients can
come to a clearer phenomenological understanding of the experi-

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70 Existential Regret

ence will help facilitate the life force that engenders a determina-
tion to move past the paralysis and learn from the experience.
After working through these bad faith, existential regrets, they
may experience a determination to live more choicefully, intention-
ally, subjectively, and affirmatively in the future.

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Howard, J. (2000). Je ne regrette rien [I regret nothing]. Golf World.
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(Ed.), The farther reaches of human nature. New York: Penguin. (Origi-
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