CONSIDER THIS:

Who Should I Take

Advice From?
Hey, friend,
We live in a time where we have more access to information than ever before.

If we want to know how to do anything, all we have to do is type a quick

Google search or watch a YouTube video. We are also bombarded with
Instagram Reels and TikToks with the latest life hacks on a daily basis.

There are so many conflicting voices out there, so how do we know which
ones to listen to?

This isn’t just a tension to manage in the online space. There’s also angst when
we receive competing advice from people we do everyday life with.

Advice can create movement in our situations because it can dictate our
actions and decisions. So it’s crucial that we ask ourselves: Is this information
leading us in the right direction? Or is it taking us somewhere we don’t need
to go? And most importantly, have we gone to the Lord for wisdom first?

The Bible actually has a lot to say about this. God wants to help us
navigate these situations wisely.

So we created this resource to help you:

• Address your own heart motivations before asking someone to weigh in
on your situation so you can better receive what they may have to say.
• Recognize the difference between biblical wisdom that leads to life and
worldly advice that can lead to destruction.
• Stop wondering whose input to follow, and instead learn ways to determine
someone’s trustworthiness, whether you know them personally or follow
them online.

We hope this gives you a lot to consider when it comes to letting trusted
advisers speak into your life and moving forward in future decisions.

— Proverbs 31 Ministries
PART ONE

Check Your Motivations Before Going to Someone

for Advice
Before asking others for their input, it’s important to consider why you are
asking them. When you start by addressing the “why” behind asking for
advice, it can actually help you realize who you should go to for help. Take a
few moments to honestly respond to these questions:

• Are you seeking out positive affirmation in a situation where you already
know what you want to do?
• Are you open to hearing feedback or opposition from someone else?
• Are you being honest with yourself about what you really want?
• Are you disclosing the full story to others or intentionally leaving out
details that you know would sway their opinion?
• Have you talked to God about this first?

It’s important to spend time determining what you hope to gain from these
conversations before deciding who to go to for advice. Once you’ve
identified some of your motivations in asking certain people for wisdom, it
may be time to prayerfully process your answers. Ask the Lord to give you a
pure heart and desire for godly wisdom so He can direct you to people who
can speak His Truth into your life.
PART TWO

Examine Biblical Wisdom vs. Worldly Advice

Throughout the Bible, we find a focus on the distinction between biblical
advice and worldly advice.

The book of James refers to this as the tension between “wisdom from
above” versus wisdom from below (James 3:13-18). And the book of Esther
puts on display the consequences of following human advice instead of
God’s wisdom (Esther 3:8-13; Esther 5:14).

The first time in Scripture that we see humans forsake the wisdom of God is
in the garden of Eden (Genesis 3). God provided Adam and Eve with godly
wisdom when He gave them the boundary not to eat from the tree of the
knowledge of good and evil. And He told them the consequences of what
would happen if they didn’t follow His wisdom (Genesis 2:16-17).

In other words, God informed Adam and Eve of what they should and
shouldn’t do. They were to eat from all of the trees in the garden of Eden that
were good and pleasing to the eye, but they were not to eat from this one
tree that was off-limits to them. Then in Genesis 3, the serpent entered the
scene and gave them wisdom from below that was in direct contradiction to
the wisdom of God. Ever since this incident, humanity has been living in the
tragic consequence of Adam and Eve’s failure to follow God’s instruction
because they listened to the serpent instead.

With this in mind, James 3:13-18 says, “Who among you is wise and
understanding? By his good conduct he should show that his works are done
in the gentleness that comes from wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and
selfish ambition in your heart, don’t boast and deny the truth. Such wisdom
does not come down from above but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For
where there is envy and selfish ambition, there is disorder and every evil
practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle,
compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without pretense. And the
fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who cultivate peace” (CSB).
Did you notice how wisdom from above is framed differently than wisdom
from below in this passage?

Wisdom from God is the opposite of wisdom from the world. In other words,
there is no middle ground. You can’t pick and choose pieces of worldly
advice and godly advice and expect them to work together.

Wisdom from above is:

• Gentle.
• Uncompromised, coming from a pure source.
• Peace-loving (desiring peace inside and outside).
• Framed by mercy.
• Productive (yielding good fruit).

Wisdom from above comes from a God who desires peace for His people
and therefore produces peace within His people.

Wisdom from below is:

• Rooted in bitterness, envy and selfish ambition.
• “Demonic” (James 3:15, CSB) in that its source is the enemy.
• Motivated by chaos and destruction.

Wisdom from below is compromised, and rather than sowing peace, it sows
disorder.

In the book of Esther, advice plays a big role in the outcome of the story.
Some characters were influenced by wisdom from above, and some were
influenced by wisdom from below.

Let’s look at the differences between Mordecai and Haman:

Mordecai was influenced by wisdom from above and provided advice

that led Esther to save her people (Esther 4:14).

Haman was driven by wisdom from below and gave advice to the Persian
king, Ahasuerus, that led to chaos, disorder and ultimately his own death
(Esther 3:13; Esther 7:10).

Mordecai adopted his cousin Esther when her parents died (Esther 2:7).
Later, when she was taken into Ahasuerus’ harem and became queen
of Persia, Mordecai advised her not to disclose her Jewish ethnicity as
it could put her and others in danger (Esther 2:10). The goal here was
peace and safety for Esther. In an interesting turn of events, Mordecai
then learned of a plot to assassinate the king and informed Esther, who
told the king, and his life was spared (Esther 2:22-23). Mordecai, in doing
all this, created peace and prevented chaos and disorder.

But Haman got offended and angry that Mordecai would not bow to him.
Selfish desire and ambition led Haman to seek out the destruction of not
only Mordecai but all of Mordecai’s people (Esther 3:2-6).

As we work through the story of Esther, we see how Mordecai’s

commitment to godly wisdom resulted in restoration and renewal for
God’s people. In contrast, Haman’s human advice stemmed from selfish
ambition and vanity, which led to his own ruin.

Esther allowed Mordecai to speak God’s wisdom to her. Then she did
what was right (Esther 4:15-16). Haman allowed pride and ambition to lead
him, and he advised the king accordingly. In the short run, there was glory
and benefit for Haman. But in the long run, he experienced total devastation.

Who we listen to matters. Godly wisdom will bring out restoration and
renewal. Worldly advice will lead to ruin.
PART THREE

Determine Which Voices Can Speak Into Your Life

Now that we’ve learned ways to know the difference between wisdom from
above and wisdom from below, it’s important to look at where or who we are
seeking guidance from.

Here are some questions to ask yourself when considering who to ask for
advice:

If you know them personally:

• Do they have knowledge or expertise in the area you are seeking advice on?
• Do they exhibit the James 3:13-18 qualities of godly wisdom?
• Do they seek God themselves and have your best interest in mind?
• Do you trust their character?

If you do not know them personally or you are seeking guidance from
someone online (influencers, celebrities, podcasters, etc.):
• Look at the fruit of their lives: What sort of character are they known for?
Is it positive or negative?
• What are their professional credentials?
• Do they show humility? If they mess up, do they ask for forgiveness?
• If they are not Christian, do you find biblical principles present in what they
are saying?
• How long have they been speaking on the subject matter that is relevant
to your situation?
• Are they associated with established organizations?

If you aren’t sure whether the person meets these criteria, then you can seek
out additional information. You also don’t have to take everything from only
one source: What other research or information echoes what this person is
saying (or do other sources contradict them)? Can you verify based on other
sources that the advice they’re providing is good?

These questions will help you prayerfully and carefully discern who to allow
to speak into your life.
PART FOUR

Now What?
Now that we’ve looked at what defines godly, biblical wisdom and we’ve
assessed who we should go to for advice, here are some additional things to
consider:

• If you don’t agree with someone’s advice …

Just because you don’t want to take someone’s advice, that does not mean
your relationship with the person needs to change or end. Some people
are going to give you bad advice, but that doesn’t mean you should never go
to them for help in the future. Different people have different experiences
and perspectives they bring to the table, which means they may not be
able to speak into your current situation, but they could speak into another
circumstance later. Don’t write someone off completely. Use wisdom to
discern if, when and how to allow that person’s voice in your life and how
much to trust in their counsel.

And remember: You don’t always have to take someone’s advice. Ultimately,
your choices are your own, and you should prayerfully decide what to do.

• Going to God for advice.

The Bible is full of wisdom we can apply to our situations today. There might
not always be a Bible verse that directly speaks to the situation you are in, but
there are still biblical principles you can use when making a decision.

You can also pray and ask God to give you wisdom. He might show you this
through His Word, a friend or another situation. Ask Him for confirmation.

Another often underlooked way to seek God for wisdom is through fasting.
Fasting was often practiced when the people of ancient Israel were seeking
God’s wisdom for a decision or when they needed saving (e.g., Esther 4:16).
When we set aside worldly comfort for a time and focus on prayer and
Scripture, whether we fast from food or from something else, it can help us
seek God more. If you want to learn more about fasting, see our resources in
the “More To Consider” section below.

One final reminder we want you to take with you is this: You’re not going to do
this perfectly. No one is perfect at giving or receiving advice. People can fail,
and they can fail you.

But at the end of the day, we can trust that God has given us the Holy Spirit to
help lead and guide us into all Truth (John 16:13).
Discussion Questions:
Want to talk more about this topic with your friends and family? Here are
some discussion questions to start the conversation:

• Who is the first person you go to when you need advice? Why?

• Have you ever stopped to consider how the voices from social media,
podcasts, or other people you don’t know are influencing you?

• What makes a person’s advice trustworthy to you?

• When you consider what the Bible says about wisdom from above and
wisdom from below, how does that change who you go to when you
need advice?

• Do you think you give good advice? Why or why not?

More To Consider:
If you want to learn simple steps for personal Bible study, check out these
additional resources ...

• “How To Have a Great Bible Study in 4 Simple Steps,” an episode from

The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast.

• “Why Should I Fast?” an episode from The Proverbs 31 Ministries

Podcast.

• “How To Study God’s Word More Confidently in the New Year,” a

Proverbs 31 Ministries resource.

If you want to look through multiple versions of the Bible ...

• biblegateway.com.

• The First 5 app.

If you want study tools, concordances (lists of words and where to find
them in the Bible), commentaries (explanations and interpretations from
experienced theologians), Bible dictionaries, and more ...

• biblehub.com.

• enduringword.com.

• blueletterbible.org.

• studylight.org.

• First 5 study guides.