Safety Plan

As of 22320 i crystal Ellison have to write my safety plan because I am no longer allowed to be
in the same house with my children. I have been through hell in the last 6 months I dealt with
CPS in St George Utah just went through an adoption which was 6 months in planning and
when I almost died and got my son was going to die and now I can't have no more children and
going through all these in unfortunate events and being treated the way I was treated there and
then way but everyone's painting a picture of me here I don't need it I just lost my son my son
was whistling and I didn't want to let him go but wasn't financially able or did I have any close
family members or resources to keep my son I would have been walking down the street with
the backpack and three children and probably on my way to going to jail because nobody
seems to understand when you go through a hardship and people reached out all they do is turn
their nose and they can help you so I learned one lesson in life that not one person has your
back not one person's going to be there for you and if you don't have your s*** together and you
have children you're f*****. For two years now I have struggled to get back on my feet financially
find job find a babysitter get a car find a place to live it's been hell for the last year-and-a-half
going from making $20 an hour for cars big house The Nanny took care of my house my kids
cuz me and Brandon both busted our asses to get where we were. I'm thankful for her because
she took care of the house dishes and laundry started dinner and that gave me time to sit down
and be with my daughter because my family and for her I am thankful for that. I have gone
through relationship problems to financial problems of just not being able to get back on her feet
it seems like it's impossible when I look at my children's faces the only thing that gets me back
up and start fighting again. I dealt with the social worker in St George because the doctor said it
was my choice that I didn't have to go through with the adoption I told him I couldn't do it he said
let me bring in the sky and the excellent case worker social worker and I said yeah I know how
that goes but first I need to call my attorney in the Dobson lady for she could contact the family
and have them on their way cuz being a high risk pregnancy due to a car accident 15 years ago
where my backless fractured I split up in the whole back of my head I wasn't able to have kids
out my vagina I've had 4 c-sections andmy cervix I know was thinned out and they've burned off
something down there and all because I ran into old friends down in Vegas and I was going
through a lot that I hit the song mess down there for maybe three days my luck I don't know if
that was the full reason don't know the reason. I believe I was doing way too much I don't know
the reason I just know I almost died because I was internal bleeding for 2 days and my cervix
came detached from my uterus I told her because I thought it was doctor patient confidentiality
of what you've done and then they totally paint a picture of you like your freaking loser
especially in the state of Utah. I could have the biggest lawsuit but do I have the money to do
that right now no juice. What I want to do no I don't with so much pain and suffering to dealing
with messed up staff that messed up my appointment to finding a doctor who cared and didn't
look at me because I told him what I did and having transferred my records from Ohio they said
I had alcohol in my system which couldn't even be possible because I was on radar with the
alcohol bracelet around my ankle and I would have been sitting in jail. Have court stuff I need to
get take care of I haven't gone Tina judge because I'm scared to go see mr. Elam the attorney
wrote him a letter letting him know why I left to let him know that's why I was there and I've been
trying to get back on my feet and get settled and now I thought the CPS caseworker was
another lady for Peyton missing school and I invite them in thinking okay what the hell is going
on and now I have this big mess of where they want to come check my house every week
randomly drug test me and make a safety plan and be at my ass 24/7 now we are getting my
brother-in-law involved and I just got in a big fight with them because of what's going on and I've
been fighting with my husband and now my daughter's cheering what's going on and she's
asking questions and drawing pictures of the caseworkers with no cops on top of it she
purposely stayed here in Ohio so she didn't have to know what was going on do you know what
it feels like to call home and tell your daughter that you ain't bringing her fucking brother home
do you know how bad that broke my heart and now she's got to see all this bullshit continue on I
am putting a stop to this as of today my safety plan consist of 20 hours community service 20
days in jail $2,500 more Vines unable to drive a car a vehicle without housing abloh alcohol set
up on the car because I got pulled over with a beer in under my seat a roach in my ashtray a
cop saying I was trying to get you to come into my house that he done after said oh I didn't
know the house was back here it's just escalated and I've had enough I've had my third panic
attack. My niece and her husband they just moved into a new house my sister-in-law is dealing
with a bunch of medical issues and my brother-in-law is trying to be a good grandpa and find
work for him to get back on his feet.
1. Go to my commquest assessment scheduled for March 3rd
2. Go to my cash assistance appointment.
3. T there I could go do work at the habitat for humanity where I could also be credited for my
community service so don't worry I won't be on cash assistance living off the state for very long
you keep bringing it up to me you know you only had 36 months yeah you think I want to live off
you guys anyways I donated to salvation army for 10 years $3 out of my check every week and I
go there for help and they can't even help me never again. I'm not from a wealthy family thank
God I had my grandparents and they show me my virtues and having respect and being loyal
and they gave me everything I needed as a kid growing up because my mom and dad were in
the school they had me young and when the morning when you wake up and there's no longer
a Santa Claus in your mine cuz he didn't bring you Christmas under the Christmas tree it sucks
as a kid and I feel bad for all those who don't have nothing.I'm ashamed to go to my church
because I don't want them to know what happened but that's my next option.
4. we have had no gas money to go anywhere so if someone wants to help that way they can
give us a gift card or gas card.
5. Find local doctor.
6.follow up with these three jobs that I am trying to set up an interview for that responded to me
after I filled out my application.
7. Go to my attorney's office Brian Zimmerman to let him know what is going on because I know
he's mad at me and I will not go into court without him because they will just throw me in jail if I
had nothing done or nothing page so if there's some kind of thing or way help me pay my fine to
get community service done let me know.
8. Since I got the internet finally hooked up I have to call this place about my ankle bracelet and
be monitored again but I wanted to find a job first before I went and had this big ass thing on my
ankle again it was embarrassing.please understand I do not want my family together and I do
not want to argue I don't want to talk about nothing because I don't want to hear nothing out of
anybody's mouth it's called enough grief so you're more than welcome to have the meeting over
at their house to go and see how their houses and they're right in the middle of moving so I don't
know what you're going to find out but you're more than welcome to go meet them and I'm not
doing it here I got in a big argument I told them I put them to my quote safety list because if
anything happens to me before I get all my stuff done before I go see the judge so he doesn't
throw the book at me please take care of my kids something happens not to babysit me watch
freaking come running over here if Brandon's got to go do something no it's a happening it's not
going down like this giving you a drug test that I know I didn't do any meth I smoked weed I did
my adderal which helps me think straight control my thoughts because from my car accident my
head got split open and it's hard for me to concentrate now and I sure it's getting worse for me
to even focus or remember so when I was prescribed Adderall 10 mg it helped me I took one in
the morning along with my Lyrica and my norcos and I was good to go but the whole point of
this is I had weed in my system from smoking weed everyday and that didn't show up on the
drug screen all the shows up on here is as methamphetamine and I feel like that was a cop out
you're coming at me seeing what if I'm going to freaking give you my local drug dealer ask cry
for help no this is b******* it's I took freaking norkotah to opiate for 6 days I always in my system
to I don't know what's going on but I can't deal with this no more I am going to go to my
assessment if I can't complete this then you're more than welcome to come back but I need
space and everybody leave me the f*** alone and if you want to help you can help me in those
ways your 90 days legally was up and I have consulted with my attorney who isn't able to
protect me here because of jurisdiction issues so if I have to go spend money on a damn
attorney I guess I have to because I am not going to be treated like one year old little kid and I
am more than happy to give you a weekly progress report and all I'm asking for is 5 weeks if I
can obtain a job finish my community service do my course of conquest and everything I need
to do then you could come back and you could just throw me in jail and take my kids away
because I can't deal with no more b*******..it's nobody's business what went on and you don't
understand how I feel I am trying to tell myself I did a good thing and they couldn't have children
and when I found out I was pregnant I cried for two days because it wasn't the time for me to get
pregnant again. He took my heart with him that's my blood is my baby I'm so grateful that they
send me pictures and they have sent me updated reports on him for the last two months
because I was so worried about him he came 7 weeks early and as long as you weren't fully
develop.
I cannot do this and please understand this is my safety plan if anybody has a problem with it
then we could go from Wednesday I received our income tax refund and then we'll be able to
pay two months rent have gas to get somewhere and to get plates and insurance on the car. To
be able to get something done cuz we really have been standing here with nothing no gas stuck
in the middle of nowhere. Please understand you can I send me a weekly report and I will
respond to you but as a Tuesday we there's no meeting coming to my house you are more than
welcome to go to their house Friday I will send you a report on what's going on but for my
brother to say that you guys were sitting out watching my house to I don't need this b*******.
We've also just lost her friend Mike that lives on this property. I have also found out a lot of bad
things have happened on this property but it doesn't matter that you their business.Brandon is in
the process of starting his own business and working straight from across the way right here
and he doesn't need this b******* and it's making me look bad I feel bad enough and I don't need
this painted picture of on my drug addict mom so please understand give you the number to all
the attorneys I can give you even though adoption lady you're more than welcome to call her
she is the only one I had and I feel so bad for her because she would deal with my mood swings
all my drama and b******* not knowing if I was coming or going I love her and take her for that.
Crystal