Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Rosenthal 1983
Rosenthal 1983
Herbert M. Rosenthal
231
232 ROSENTHAL
of his passions for money is possessed by his striving for it; money is the idol
which he worships as the projection of one isolated power in himself and his
greed for it. In this sense, the neurotic person is an alienated person. His actions
are not his own; while he is under the illusion of doing what he wants, he is
driven by forces which are separated from his self, which work behind his back;
he is a stranger to himself, just as his fellow man is a stranger to him. He experi-
ences the other and the unconscious force which operate in them. The insane
person is the absolutely alienated person; he has completely lost himself as the
center of his own experience; he has lost the sense of self.
It is the fact that man does not experience himself as the active bearer of his own
power and richness but as an impoverished "thing," dependent on powers outside
of himself, unto whom he has projected his living substance. 3
What is modern man's relationship to his fellow man? It is one between two
abstractions, two living machines, who use each other. The employer uses the
ones he employs; the salesman uses the customers. Everybody is to everybody
else a commodity, always to be treated with certain friendliness, because even if
he is not of use now, he may be later.4
Finally, narcissism is not an experience of self-love but of alienation from the self.
In rather simplified terms, a person clings to illusions about himself, because and
as far as he has lost himself. 6
Only the individual himself can develop his given potentialities. But, like any
other living organism, the human individuum needs favorable conditions for his
growth "from acorn into an oak tree"; he needs an atmosphere of warmth to give
him both a feeling of inner security and the inner freedom enabling him to have
his own feelings and thoughts and to express himself . . . . He also needs healthy
friction with the wishes and wills of others. If he can thus grow with others, in
love and in friction, he will also grow in accordance with his real self.
But through a variety of adverse influences, a child may not be permitted to
grow according to his individual needs and possibilities. Such unfavorable condi-
tions are too manifold to list here. But, when summarized, they all boil down to
the fact that the people in the environment are too wrapped up in their own neu-
roses to be able to love the child, or even to conceive of him as the particular
individual he is; their attitudes toward him are determined by their own neurotic
needs and responses. . . .
As a result, the child does not develop a feeling of belonging, of"we," but instead
a profound insecurity and vague apprehensiveness, for which I use the term basic
anxiety. It is his feeling of being isolated and helpless in a world conceived as
potentially hostile. 9
234 ROSENTHAL
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ON EARLY ALIENATION FROM THE SELF 235
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O N EARLY ALIENATION FROM THE SELF 237
that the feelings and wishes one experiences are part of one's self. This certainty
is not something one can gain upon reflection; it is there like one's own pulse,
which one does not notice as long as it functions normally.~1
What happens if the mother not only is unable to take over the narcissistic func-
tions for the child but also, as very often happens, is herself in need of narcissistic
supplies? Quite unconsciously, and despite her own good intentions, the mother
then tries to assuage her own narcissistic needs through her child, that is, she
cathects him narcissistically. This does not rule out strong affection. On the con-
trary, the mother often loves her child as her self-object, passionately, but not in
a way he needs to be loved. Therefore, the continuity and constancy that would
be so important for the child are missing, among other things, from this love. Yet,
what is missing above all is the framework within which the child could experi-
ence his feelings and emotions. Instead, he develops something the mother
needs, and this certainly saves his life [the mother's or father's love] at the time,
but it nevertheless may prevent him, throughout his life, from being himself, u
Besides the quotation given here, I have found little in the literature of
modern object relations theory to be pertinent to this discussion on the
early origins of alienation from the self. However, a schematic diagram
showing the phases of early childhood development according to Mahler, 13
Winnicott, ~4 and others modified after Horner is is given here in Figure 2,
since it might locate more precisely the origins of alienation.
DISCUSSION
Using the quotations given above, we can now consider our question:
When does the alienation process start? It is easy to observe that certainly
very many adolescents with their desire for deafening music and with their
experience of inner emptiness show a picture of classical alienation. But
children of much younger age can already be found educated "to be seen
and not heard," having literally become "things" or robots that are being
made to function only with regard to their marketability, their usefulness
to society.
If we can believe Fromm's description of an alienated society, there is no
reason to believe that mothers should be exempted from the process of
more or less severe alienation that the rest of our society is suffering from. I
am convinced that the reader, just as myself, has observed many mothers
treating their children, including infants, as if they were "things" to be taken
care of; also, the reader has probably observed some mothers using their
children for their own needs, such as to produce what they consider "the
ideal child," in a way similar to the way Fromm's salesman uses the cus-
tomer or the employer uses his employees. As Alice Miller points out, all
238 ROSENTHAL
this may be done with much love, in total unawareness of using the child,
but using the child nevertheless, depriving him in the process of his own
feelings and emotions, rendering him into an isolated, helpless human
being (cf. basic anxiety), squelching his own feelings and desires, and mak-
ing him totally dependent first on his mother and later on rule books,
which tell him what he is expected to feel and to do.
Alienation from the self, then starts in earliest infancy, precisely, in the
attachment phase of development (see Figure 2). However, I do not disagree
with Horney's findings that alienation from the self is an important factor in
the later development of neurosis, but I would like to add, that the process
of AFS starts at a much earlier age, namely in infancy as an attachment-stage
pathological symptom, a fact Homey may not have observed, since she
did not work with young children.
Let us observe, in greater detail, how a baby may be forced into alienation
from himself.
Already in infancy, the child may become an object to be manhandled
and to be possessed. Love may be conditioned to the child's behavior ac-
cording to maternal standards and needs. In that case, the infant must
sacrifice his own needs, feelings, and desires in exchange for acceptance
by the mother figure, thereby losing the struggle for self-fulfillment. He is
squelched in his attempt to preserve his real self before he has even a
chance to fully develop an identity. It is my conviction that by being forced
to disregard his own deepest feelings in order to please his narcissistic
mother, the baby brings about his own alienation from himself. The infant,
unable not to act on what he feels and afraid to act on his feelings that may
cause retribution in the form of his mother's caring, is forced to squelch his
own feelings altogether. It is as if his narcissistic mother had told her infant
child, "You have two friends, namely, yourself and me, and now you have
to choose between the two, since you cannot please both~" Of course, this
process will develop on a totally unconscious level, as a conditioned reflex.
In any event, the infant's realistic helplessness makes his choice of his
mother as his only friend a foregone conclusion. Having thus lost his real
self, the infant needs to find a substitute, to create a "false," an "idealized
self," based on and compatible with his mother's needs. By doing this, the
child just solved his "basic inner conflict," namely, the conflict between his
real and idealized self, by sacrificing his real self for his mother's caringo He
has created the basis for the development of the neurotic personality
described by Homey and schematized in Figure I.
Having placed earliest AFS in the earliest part of the attachment phase of
Mahler's timetable of early child development, I see AFS as possibly the
most far-reaching disturbance of attachment to a coercive, narcissistic
mother. While the lack of attachment may lead to psychotic development,
ON EARLY ALIENATION FROM THE SELF 239
INFANT~
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE CONDITIONAL LOVE
"GOOD ENOUGH MOTHERING" ORIGINAL BLACKMAIL
I
CONFLICT FREE
I
ORIGINAL CENTRAL INNER CONFLICT
SPONTANEOUS CHILD ADAPTING CHILD
l I
FEELING CHILD ALIENATION OF CHILD
i l
SECURE CHILD INSECURE CHILD
i I
REAL, HAPPY, CREATIVE, CAUTIOUS, UNHAPPY, COMPLIANT,
SPONTANEOUS, SELF-ASSURED INSECURE, FEARFUL CHILD
CHILD l l
REAL, NAPPY, CREATIVE, FALSE SELF
SPONTANEOUS, SELF-ASSURED IDEALIZED IMAGE
ADULT A IDEALIZED SELF
I
(CENTRAL INNER CONFLICT) / ~
PSYCHOANALYSIS SUCCESSFUL / PSYCHOANAL~IS UNSUCCESSFUL
SUCCESSFUL NEUROTIC f EARLY FUNCTIONAL DISTURBANCE
i
GUILT, FEARS, NEUROTIC CONFLICTS NEUROSIS PERS~ALITY PSYCHOSOMATIC PSYCHOSIS
(BASIC CONFLICT)
(INTERPERSONAL CONFLICTS)
(INTEAPSYCHIC CONFLICTS)
[
I
]
DISO~ERS
[
DISORDERS
PSYCHOTHERAPY OR SELF-HELP ~
CRUMBLING I I
SUCCESSFUL SELF I I
SUCCESSFULLY LIVING A ~I~"~ILATEE FUNCTIONAL DISTURBANCE
FALSE SELF ] I r "
NEUROSIS PERSONALITY .PSYCHOSOMATIC
DISORDERSI DISONDERSI
PSYCHOSIS
[
CONTINUED NEUROTIC SYMPTOMS ~ ITRERAPY OR SELF~HELP
The symptoms of basic anxiety, other than helplessness, namely the feel-
ings of aloneness in a potentially hostile world, usually become apparent
only at a later stage when the child starts to experience the mother figure's
inability to reward him for having sacrificed his real self, i.e., when it comes
to the need of body awareness, of handling body functions, of relating to
ON EARLY ALIENATION FROM THE SELF 241
others and to bodily pain. Psychosomatic problems are typical for these
children of possessive, overprotective mothers, as Melitta Sperling has
observed already:
SUMMARY
REFERENCES
Reprint requests to Herbert M. Rosenthal, M.D., 641 La Cruz Road, Santa Fe, NM 87501.