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How To Cure Oneitis - 6 Steps To Getting Over Your Ex-Crush
How To Cure Oneitis - 6 Steps To Getting Over Your Ex-Crush
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CATEGORIES: WOMEN
(HTTPS://WWW.MASCULINEDEVELOPMENT.COM/CATEGORY/WOMEN/)
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Contents [ hide ]
What is Oneitis?
What is a oneitis? Well, whether you realize it or not, you’ve likely had
one before—in your relationships, or maybe a potential girl friend.
This can take the form of a girl friend. It can take the form of your
wife. It can even take the form of a co-worker or a classmate.
Getting over a oneitis will probably be the hardest thing you ever do.
That
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it. So without further
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What is Oneitis?
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In short, a oneitis is when you’re absolutely desperate for a particular
girl’s approval. You can’t sleep without her, you can’t eat without her,
and you can’t breathe without her. No matter how hard you try, you
just can’t stop thinking about her
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/cant-stop-thinking-
about-her-heres-what-you-need-to-do/).
Bonus Guide: How to Make Women CHASE YOU Over Text (Click Here!)
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For different men, a oneitis may take a different form. It may be your
wife, your girl friend, a girl you go to class with, or even a girl you’ve
never met before. They all have one thing in common though: you feel
as if you NEED her to be happy as a man.
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This phenomena takes place for several reasons, which we will
discuss in(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com)
this article. The fundamental reason that a man gets a
“oneitis” however, is that he places far too much importance onto a
single woman, that is out of line with what reality dictates.
In other words, it’s when you put the pussy on a pedestal. It’s when you
think a woman is the end-all-be-all to every one of your problems. It’s
when you idealize a woman, and fall in love with your idea of her,
rather than the actual person herself.
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haven’t already done so. For now, it’s important to realize just how
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Oneitis vs. Love
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com)
The first objection many men have to this concept of the “oneitis” is
that it’s simply love. It isn’t. Love is what comes when you get to know
a person, and develop a healthy, interdependent relationship with
them. Love is patient, kind, and free.
A oneitis is the opposite. When you have a oneitis, you live in a state of
neediness, clinginess, and constant co-dependence. Your moods are
completely dictated by your oneitis’ approval or lack thereof, and she
can send you from the heights of heaven to the depths of hell with a
single
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keen eye for making this distinction, but you must learn the
difference between love and oneitis.
Oneitis makes you weak, but love makes you strong. Oneitis drains
you emotionally, but love improves your state. Oneitis reeks of
neediness, love is interdependent. The two are very, very different—
however most men often end up conflating the two, much to their
suffering.
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In order to overcome your oneitis, you must first recognize that there
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com)
are two general areas which must be improved. The first is the inner,
and the second is the outer. These are similar to inner and outer
game, but they are not the same thing.
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The Inner Path
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com)
The inner path is perhaps, the most difficult for many men, because it
requires us to overcome our myopic nature. As the old saying goes,
how can a goldfish ever know what water is, when it’s been dwelling in
water its entire life?
Likewise, how can a man ever know the full extent of his neediness,
negativity, or dysfunctional beliefs, when he’s had them his entire life?
This whole topic could fill a library with books, and it certainly has, but
here are the key points to take away.
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Step 1. Developing Healthy Beliefs
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com)
The first order of business is to develop healthy beliefs which
empower you. This may sound ridiculous, but you likely have dozens
of beliefs that are holding you back, this very second.
The truth is that there are BILLIONS of women on the face of the
earth, and however special you might think this oneitis happens to be,
there are many other women who are just as good. Of course, this can
be a tough pill to swallow, especially as you advance in your dating life.
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Step 2. Dealing With Past Trauma
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com)
We all have past trauma, lurking deep within our subconscious. Like it
or not, you are a human being, and every human being is subject to
some form of trauma.
This is far too deep of a topic to discuss in a single article, but I would
recommend you purchase and read the book “Letting Go
(https://amzn.to/2BVeiOY)” by Dr. David Hawkins. The book will guide
you through a process which I myself have used to let go of years
worth of pent up trauma. It will change your life, trust me.
Step 3. Learning
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As cliche as this may sound, many of us cannot truly love ourselves.
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wolf-yet-proud-like-lion/).
Find those parts of yourself that you have disowned, and learn to
become okay with them. In fact, if you want, you can make a list right
now of 10 things you hate about yourself. Then, as you go through
each one, focus on how it makes you feel. Accept the feeling, and
move on.
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The Outer Path
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com)
The outer path is, in many ways, what most people focus on—and for
good reason. Without a strong outer path, having a strong inner path
is completely useless. What good is “unconditional self love” if you’re
living in a box, homeless on the street, without any friends or women?
Ideally however, you should have everything. You want what I call “the
good life,” which is health, wealth, love, and happiness. Getting over
your oneitis goes FAR BEYOND simply getting over your oneitis. In
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Step 4. Develop Your Game
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com)
Otherwise known as charisma, developing your game is by far one of
the most important things a man can do in life. Without the ability to
meet, attract, and seduce women, you will live a very lonely and
passionless life, subject to the whims of women around you.
So let me ask you, is it any wonder that most men suffer from oneitis?
How the hell can you get over a girl, if you don’t even HAVE any other
girls to get over her with?
Do not neglect this area of your life. There is a reason why I talk
about developing your charisma so much, and it’s why I’ve written so
extensively on it. If you want to truly get over your oneitis, you must
develop an external abundance of women in your life.
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Lessons I Learned From Sleeping With Over 100+ Women
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/5-life-lessons-
learned-from-sleeping-with-over-100-girls/)
Game vs. Attraction: What’s the Difference?
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/game-vs-attraction-
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As
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women find attractive
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find-attractive/). You must
to-oneitis-how- cultivate a lifestyle that
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exciting experiences into your reality on a day-by-day basis. You can
do this by (https://www.masculinedevelopment.com)
simply finding hobbies that you’re passionate about, and
diving head first into each one of them.
Of course, you might need money to truly build an exciting life, but so
what? Anything you want is within your reach, you just have to reach
out and take it. You can have money, looks, status, and fulfillment, all
at once, if you merely ask for them.
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Step 6. Create
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the past. One of which,to-oneitis-how-
to-oneitis-how- would be male camaraderie.
to-cure-it-and- Unfortunately, to-cure-it-and-
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fought-against-masculinity/), any attempt at men bonding with other
men is looked down upon.
Men of the present day have lost touch with this. So go out, and
spend some time developing a male camaraderie. Strengthen and
create new bonds with like-minded men across the globe, who will
be there for you when you’re struggling to get over a woman.
Always try to fill your life with things that make you happy, whether
they be a weekly group meetup with your boys at the bar, or a mere
daily routine that adds some spice to your life. Fill your days, your
weeks, your months, and your years with activities which boost your
mental state and increase your happiness.
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Common Oneitis Questions
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So, I’ve taken the time to put together a quick list of common oneitis
questions I get, to help you men out as much as possible.
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country. Itto-oneitis-how-
starts in their relationships, but alwaysto-cure-it-and-
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It makes you feel like there is no hope for tomorrow, and that no
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matter how hard you try, there is still no hope—a total scarcity
mindset.
Is There A Cure?
Unfortunately, there is no simple cure. There is however, a cure.
Me? I can get a new girl friend in a month. That doesn’t mean I do, but
it means I’m with a girl because I WANT to be, not because she’s my
“oneitis.”
k J
It’s simple—learn game, and stay on your purpose as a man. This will
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help you develop an abundance mindset and become a high value
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to-oneitis-how- to-oneitis-how- to-cure-it-and- to-cure-it-and- to-cure-it-and-
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You need to put yourself, and your own happiness first. Put your own
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com)
life, your own purpose, and your own self respect first—ALWAYS!
The truth is, the only way to get rid of oneitis is to learn game, learn
how to meet girls, and always put your purpose first.
4
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In summary, getting over your oneitis is not an easy thing to do. A
(https://www.masculinedevelopment.com)
oneitis is not a root problem, however—it is simply a symptom of a
deeper cause. When you align yourself with the principles I discussed,
and better yourself as a man, your concerns over a oneitis will become
a thing of the past.
Focus on both the inner and outer paths—both are valid. Spend some
time rooting through all your emotional baggage, dysfunctional
beliefs, and past traumas. Learn to love them, and let them go, for
they have served their purpose. Spend some time learning game,
making male friends, and improving your life.
k J y
always, I hope you guys enjoyed the article, and I’ll see you next time.
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A oneitis is when you have a soul-crushing obsession with a
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girl, but she doesn't feel the same way about you in
return. It's when you can't seem to get over her, even though she's
clearly over you. In short, it's one of the worst feelings ever.
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4 COMMENTS Newest
Well written. Much needed, thank you for that. Was heading in this direction already
because of the books Way of the Superior Man and As a Man Thinketh. Will check out
the book you recommended
0 Reply
Great article, Jon. I actually read this a few years ago when I really needed it… so
thanks for that, man. Came her again because I saw you posted it on Twitter
0 Reply
I am going through a bad heartbreak of 14 years, four little kids. Struggling to get over
her. Any help would be appreciated.
0 Reply
Author
Reply to Charles
Shoot me an email with more information, man. Sorry to hear that.
1 Reply
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to-oneitis-how- to-oneitis-how- to-cure-it-and- to-cure-it-and- to-cure-it-and-
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After dropping out of college to pursue my dreams, I started this blog as a way to help other
men do the same.
What started off as a fun hobby, grew into a full-scale 6-figure business that’s changing the
lives of men worldwide.
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