February 25, 2021 7:04 pm

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IELTS Writing task 2

band 6.5 | Public
transportation

Today, we will be looking at two

writing task 2 essays about public
transport. They would both score
6.5 in the test for different reasons.
Read on to find out more about why
these essay would score 6.5, and
what would make them better!

Many people believe that free

public transportation should be
available in most major cities.

What are the advantages and

disadvantages of this idea?

You should write at

least 250 words.

Essay 1
According to many, public transport which
can be used without paying charges should
be available in most metropolitan cities. The
major benefit of this belief is traffic
congestion will be reduced noticeably.
Whereas
Whereas, a drawback is the more burdens
will occur on the government.

An increasing number of private vehicles on

the roads are creating an enormous amount
of traffic, which is closely tied to produce a
massive amount of sound pollution
pollution. It is,
eventually, harmful to the human lungs and
ears. Applying free public transportation
can result in encouraging people to switch
from their personal car to public vehicles in
daily activities. In this way, the government
can draw a line on excessively increasing
traffic amount in urban settings as well as
sound pollution would be cut back
back. Free
public transportation can also help
individually because people can move around
without paying a fare, and they do not have
to think of parking or maintenance costs,
which they have to spend if they use a
private car. Consequently, It can be said that
free public transportation has many
advantages for both individuals and states.

Despite a number of benefits, there are also

some drawbacks of free public
transportation. One of the major difficulties
is the government have to be
undergone a burden because they have to
allot a huge amount of tax-payers money to
invest for launching public vehicles and
continuously pay the maintenance cost of
free public transportation and in return, the
government will be got no amount of
money. This massive amount of money the
government could use for the neediest
sector, such as the infrastructural
improvement of the healthcare system which
is the most important part of the people who
actually pay the taxes. With the huge
disadvantage of free public transportation, it
cannot be considered a wise decision to make
public transportation free of charge.

In conclusion, free public transportation can

come up with the blessings of less traffic
congestion in most mejor cities. Besides
Besides, it
also creates a huge problem for the
government can not give their focal
point on other neediest sectors.

Task Achievement

The task achievement is good here.

One issue that prevents this essay from

scoring higher for task achievement is that
the conclusion does not properly cover the
main points in the body of the essay. This
means that it addresses all parts of the task
(band 7), but the band 8 criterion (sufficiently
addresses all parts of the task) is not met.

Note that the conclusion does not say

whether the advantages outweigh the
disadvantages. This is fine because the
question does not ask which are greater!

The body paragraphs have nice, logical

concluding remarks, meaning that ideas
develop well.

Band 7
addresses all parts of the
task
presents a clear position
throughout the response
presents, extends and
supports main ideas
ideas, but
there may be a tendency to
overgeneralise and/or
supporting ideas may lack
focus

Coherence

Paragraphing is logical and there is clear

progression throughout.

The use of cohesive devices (transition

signals, referencing and substitution) is
usually good in this essay, with lots of variety.
The use of coherence markers is not
mechanical.

The reason that this essay does not score

band 7 is that several cohesive devices are
incorrectly used: whereas (in the
introduction) and besides in the conclusion
are wrong. The meaning of besides is
inappropriate, and whereas has been used
with only one clause, whereas correct use
would require two clauses (see what I did
there? ). Another error with transitions is
the use of as well as – it is being used to
substitute and, but the usage is incorrect.

There is an idea that doesn’t properly match

up here: sound pollution and harm to the
lungs. This would prevent the essay from
scoring higher once issues with transition
signals are fixed.

Band 6

arranges information and

ideas coherently and there
is a clear overall
progression
uses cohesive devices
effectively, but cohesion
within and/or between
sentences may be faulty
or mechanical
may not always use
referencing clearly or
appropriately
uses paragraphing, but not
always logically

Lexical resource

There is some good vocabulary with an

awareness of style and location.

There are some collocation errors, but there

is enough good vocabulary here to justify the
higher score.

Wording in the conclusion is quite clumsy

(can come up with the blessings of less traffic
congestion) and needs to be tidied up.

Some other word choice and word for errors

include ‘belief’ vs ‘concept / idea’, ‘burdens
will occur’ vs ‘burdens will be placed on’,
‘draw a line on’ vs ‘draw a line under’, ‘think of’
vs ‘think about’, ‘costs are spent’ vs ‘costs are
incurred’. However, the meaning is clear
throughout.

Band 7

uses a sufficient range of

vocabulary to allow
some flexibility and
precision
uses less common lexical
items with some
awareness of style and
collocation
may produce occasional
errors in word choice,
spelling and/or word
formation

Grammatical range and accuracy

The grammar is also good here, but the

seriousness of errors prevents a higher score.

There are a few errors where the writer has

not used the passive, and it makes the
meaning a little confusing: ‘this massive
amount of money the government could use’
vs ‘this massive amount of money could be
used by the government’, ‘One of the major
difficulties is the government have to be
undergone a burden’ vs ‘The government has
to undergo a burden’ (or better still, ‘a burden
is placed on the government’, ‘the
government will be got’ vs ‘the government
will get’

There are a few grammatical issues around

the transition signals ‘whereas’ and ‘as well
as’.

Band 6

Uses a mix of simple and

complex sentence forms
Makes some errors in
grammar and punctuation but
they rarely reduce
communication

Essay 2
A lot of people are of the opinion that public
transport should be cost free and accessible
in large cities however this idea has its
merits and demerits
demerits.

Firstly we will discuss one of the merits

which is easy travels.

A large number of individuals need to move

from place to place via public transport such
as buses, trains and ferries or using
commercial motorcycles and taxi services.
Making these services free and available
improves for use improves the living
conditions of the people as they can visit
places without having to worry about the
cost and this helps to save money as the
money spent on transport fare can be
unbearable
unbearable. For example, people who work
far from home spend almost all their earnings
on transportation. If this is excluded, more
money can be saved and used for other
pressing issued such as feeding and care of
the family thereby giving the low
income workers live a comfortable life.

One of the disadvantages include increase

in tax payment by locals. In most countries,
tax paid by the people is used for its
development. Revenue from transportation
is quite significant as it is used on a daily basis
but if this were to be made free, it will cause
a fall in revenue generation and thereby
causing an increase in tax on other sectors
such as water, electricity and health.

Another disadvantage is overcrowding.

Making public transport free will encourage
its use by many as I is for a fact that most
people love free services. This in turn
increases the number of people in a
particular place thereby increase the risk
of spreading communicable disease such as
the deadly Coronavirus, tuberculosis and
exacerbation of asthma as a result of
congestion
congestion.

In conclusion, the benefits of making public

transport free of charge and available include
easy movement from place to place, a more
convenient life and reduce expenses
however
however, it could cause increase in tax
payment for other services and increase the
risk in the transmission of diseases.

Task Achievement

Task achievement is good overall with good

idea development and logical conclusions.

There is some overgeneralisation in the

example about people spending almost all
their earnings on transportation. A bit more
specificity and focus would be good
(Some/many workers in developing countries
who commute long distances spend…)

The paragraph about overcrowding could

also be a bit more focused (a particular place
= packed into confined spaces on buses and
trains, thereby increasing…)

It would be nice if the introduction either

gave a bit more background on the topic or
more fully introduced some of the main
arguments.

The writer would benefit from covering

another advantage, or directly stating
multiple advantages (e.g. There are clear
advantages of free public transport: not only
do citizens save transport fares, but it can
also reduce levels of poverty by giving the
poorest families more disposable income).

Band 7
addresses all parts of the
task
presents a clear position
throughout the response
presents, extends and supports
main ideas, but there may be a
tendency to
overgeneralise and/or
supporting ideas may lack
focus

Coherence

The paragraphing is usually good, but there is

a very noticeable issue with the paragraph
‘Firstly we will discuss one of the merits
which is easy travels’.

This could be added into the introduction

(although it isn’t a great purpose statement
because it hasn’t really dealt with the overall
purpose of the essay, rather it is only
introducing the following paragraph). It could
also be added to the paragraph about saving
money, but it wouldn’t make a very strong
topic sentence because it is far too general.

There is good use of cohesive devices, and

the structure is neither repetitive nor
mechanical.

Band 6

arranges information and

ideas coherently and there
is a clear overall
progression
uses cohesive devices
effectively
effectively, but cohesion
within and/or between
sentences may be faulty or
mechanical
may not always use
referencing clearly or
appropriately
uses paragraphing, but
not always logically

Lexical resource

The use of demerits is very common amongst

non-native speakers preparing for their
IELTS tests. We don’t know where it has
come from, but we don’t like it. In all my years
of reading articles across a very wide range
of disciplines, I have only seen this word used
once or twice to mean disadvantage as
opposed to penalty (and it wasn’t by a native
speaker). It is hardly ever used by native
speakers and it sounds unnatural. Avoid!!!

There is a good range of vocabulary, including

some nice collocations. Some good examples
of vocabulary here are: living conditions;
earnings; tax payment; development;
revenue from transportation; significant;
revenue generation; sectors; overcrowding;
services the risk of spreading communicable
disease;
coronavirus/tuberculosis/exacerbation of
asthma (showing a range of health vocab in a
relevant context).

There are some unfortunate word choices

and word form errors that prevent this from
scoring more highly: unbearable vs
unmanageable; pressing issued vs pressing
issues; the use of congestion is confusing for
a number of reasons: traffic congestion?
Nasal congestion? It is likely the writer meant
‘crowded’.

Band 7

uses a sufficient range of

vocabulary to allow
some flexibility and
precision
uses less common lexical
items with some
awareness of style and
collocation
may produce occasional
errors in word choice
choice,
spelling and/or word
formation

Grammatical range and accuracy

There is some great grammar here, but

unfortunately there are fairly frequent
punctuation errors which lead to quite a high
error density, preventing this from receiving
a better score.

The writer needs to work on the grammar

used around the word ‘thereby’ – it is an
excellent cohesive device, and the use is
appropriate. The grammar is quite
complicated, though:

‘Thereby’ on its own is following by a noun

phrase and should not include a verb
(thereby giving the low-income workers live
a comfortable life; thereby increase the risk
of spreading communicable disease)

‘and thereby’ – the rules for and take over: it

needs to follow the grammar of the idea
being linked by the ‘and’ (‘it will cause a
fall in revenue generation and thereby
causing an increase in tax on’ should be ‘it
will cause a fall in revenue generation
and will thereby cause an increase in tax
on’).

Band 6

Uses a mix of simple and

complex sentence forms
Makes some errors in
grammar and punctuation but
they rarely reduce
communication

That brings an end to this essay

rating. If you are preparing for your
IELTS test and want to find out a bit
more about task 2, check out our post
giving five tips to improve your IELTS
writing task 2! In both essays, the
writers would get the same scores in
all 4 criteria, but for different
reasons. Was there anything here
that surprised you? Have your say,
and comment in the section
below! Click here for the full public
IELTS task 2 writing descriptors.

If you need your writing corrected

and rated, make sure that you check
out our writing corrections and
feedback service!

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