The city of Paris was embraced by the soft rays of the sun.

The vintage-looking
French restaurant was crowded and busy again with its cloud coloured bricks
sticking to its walls and an arched wooden doorway like one from a rich
ancient castle with large jubilant windows allowing passersby to look inside
the restaurant and feel the bustling atmosphere of the restaurant almost like
one at an energetic and lively fair. In front of it, a small outdoor dining area
with a few wooden tables covered in chequered tablecloth.The cheese
draping itself over the ravioli like a rich velvety cloak bringing the comforting
and familiar fragrance everyone longed for before finally settling in and binding
with the ravioli and being placed on the chequered tables.Surrounding the
restaurant were grand emerald vines climbing up the picket fences of the
restaurant’s border like snakes climbing up a colossal sized tree.The
restaurant was crowded and filled with animated customers, all in fits of
laughter with each other, brightening up the mood of the restaurant like bright
light bulbs in a dark gloomy room.

The Parisian cafe adjacent to the restaurant was flooded in with people who
were in need of a quick bite.The flamboyant pastries on display for everyone
to drool over. The crescent shaped croissants with flaky doughs wrapped
around almonds, chocolate or strawberry jam proved irresistible to many. The
picturesque macaroons placed beside, looked like ice cream sandwiches but
coloured in by children resulting in macaroons of lavender, lilac, lapis, mint,
rose and many other different hues. The light, airy and fluffy meringue melted
in everyone's mouth as soon as a bite was taken proving to be the perfect
‘cookie’ for the macaroon.The fillings for the macaroons being innumerable in
number puzzling customers on which one to get.The strawberry, vanilla, red-
velvet and chocolate macaroons were gobbled up the fastest.The other
pastries being just as popular leading to a long line at the bakery which lead to
humorous and cheerful conversations resulting in smiles and laughter all
around.The tables were full as everyone cherished every bite of their pastries.

The Eiffel tower, standing tall and proud, looking over the entire city of Paris
was the centre of attraction like usual.The iron entangled within each other
created the most breathtaking monument. The structure consisting of three
floors slimming down as each floor passed, like a stretched out pyramid.The
observation decks filled with faces in awe of the enchanting view.Cameras
capturing memories from a child’s first holiday to a grandmother's hundredth
birthday family vacation, all of them sharing the same picturesque background
of the captivating city below.The structure creating the perfect harmony with
the clouds in the sky and the trees below made it look like something straight
out of a fantasy book. The area surrounding the tower mimicked the
atmosphere of the tower with chatty street vendors selling souvenirs and
snacks for everyone to remember their trip by.The smell of freshly made
cotton candy surrounding the area.Children ran on the shamrock coloured
grass with toothy smiles covering their helpless shoes with the tawny soil
underneath .The. The dazzling lights of the tower attracted mesmerised
crowds towards it like a queen bee to its colony’s bees.Its light reflecting on
the trees and streets neighbouring the tower creating a seamless background.

It all changed as soon as the moon fully took over. The shops and restaurants
closed down.The once bright and energetic French restaurant now mimicking
a scene from a haunted movie.The entire restaurant pitch black. The tables
bare without its checkered tablecloth and people sitting all around them.The
kitchen usually full of chatty whispers now full of silence missing the chefs
laughter and discussions.The lively atmosphere of the restaurant now filled
with lifelessness. The sound of children crying at the restaurant and waiters
strolling by now replaced by the sound of wind passing through the curtains.

The bakery adjacent to the abandoned looking restaurant reflected the

atmosphere of the restaurant. The bright pink and white banner looking dull
like the sky while it rains. The refreshing air full of chatter and a sugary sweet
scent changed into an air of eerie silence and a scent of insignificance. The
pastries on display nowhere to be found, only the plates it used to be placed
on were to be found with little crumbs of its presence left behind. Write more
later

The bright shining lights of the eiffel tower shut, leaving behind an abandoned
looking monument. The tourists gone back to their homes leaving the tower all
alone. The sounds of chatter and cars you could hear for miles and miles from
the tower changed into sounds of leaves rustling on nearby trees.Workers
checking the tower for any damages and a few lonely wanderers were the
only signs of life seen for a while around the tower. The street vendors and
stalls also disappeared leaving just a plain street below.The once lively street
turned into a lifeless one.The air eerie with silence when compared to the
lively and joyous air of the tourists laughter and jokes seen just a couple hours
before.The trees which once protected the tourists from the harsh rays of the
sun felt worthless as it just stood there doing nothing; the streetlights which
helped guide people through paths valueless at night as not a single soul
walked on those paths at night. The world famous monument now feeling like
an old abandoned hotel, nobody caring about it. People dining nearby with
their friends noticing the monument looking down at them from above but not
giving it much attention like it was a flower in a field full of flowers.

WRITE HOW THE EIFFEL TOWER WAS WELL RESPECTED IN THE DAY
AND IGNORED AT NIGHT
THE WORKERS INSPECTED THE TOWER FOR CRACKS AND STUFF
CUZ IT WAS OLD COMPARED TO HOW YOUNG AND NEW AND BRIGHT
IT FELT
SHOULD I WRITE THE CITY OF PARIS WAS EMBRACED BY THE SOFT
RAYS OF THE SUN.
 CRITERIA MARK TARGETS WHAT WENT
WELL:

Content/Structure 7 Focus on the -This is an

descriptive effective piece in
language and parts and has
imagery you use to great potential. I
can see you have
make the piece 3D
demonstrated a
from the 2D at the very positive
moment. Look at approach.
the English Support -Some of your
Classroom for images are
ideas - and have a original and
look at the carefully selected.
exemplar pieces of
coursework to see
the amount of detail
needed

Style/Accuracy 9 Look at all your -Your piece is

sentence mainly well
construction structured and
carefully - read coherent
throughout which
each out loud to
is pleasing and I
check them and like how you have
add whatever is enhanced some
necessary. varying moods
Try to vary your and atmospheres.
sentence -You have some
punctuation so that effective use of
you are using more punctuation to
sophisticated forms clarify meanings.
for effect.

OVERALL PROVISIONAL 16 / C
MARK/GRADE