Wednesday Full Script

EP 01 (Wednesday’s Child is Full of
Woe)
[jauntily macabre music playing]
[student laughing]
[heavy footfalls echoing]
[girl] I’m not sure whose twisted idea it was to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded schools
run by people whose dreams were crushed years ago… but I admire the sadism.
[heavy footfalls continue echoing]
[school bell rings]
[jocks guffawing]
[gags, whimpers]
[thud]
I want names.
I don’t know who they were, honest.
It happened so fast.
Pugsley, emotion equals weakness.

Pull yourself together.
[whimpers]
Now.
[eerie whooshing]
[jocks jeering]
[jock] You scared, kid? Scared?
[jocks laughing]
[locker slams]
[school bell rings]
You okay?
[girl] I’m not about to confess to my brother that I’ve recently been plagued by visions.
They come on without warning, and feel like electroshock therapy, but without the satisfying
afterburn.
Leave this to me.
Wednesday?
What are you gonna do?
What I do best.
[“Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien” by Édith Piaf playing]
[whistle blows]
♪ Non, rien de rien… ♪
[jock 1] Yo, Dalton, look.
Pigsley’s sister.
Hey, freak.
This is a closed practice.
[jocks chuckle]
The only person who gets to torture my brother is me.
♪ Non, rien de rien ♪
[jocks clamor]
♪ Non, je ne regrette rien ♪
♪ Car ma vie, car mes joies ♪
[whistle blowing frantically]

♪ Ça commence avec toi ♪
[shrieks]
[elegant music swells, fades away]
[jauntily macabre theme music playing]
[radio squawks, playing “In Dreams” by Roy Orbison]
♪ I close my eyes ♪
♪ Then I drift away ♪
[passenger singing along] ♪ Into the magic night ♪
♪ I softly say ♪
[both] ♪ A silent prayer ♪
♪ Like dreamers do ♪
♪ Then I fall asleep to dream ♪
♪ My dreams of you ♪
♪ I remember ♪
[bird chirps]
[birds thudding in time to music]
♪ That you said goodbye… ♪
[feeble tweeting]
[both moaning]
[woman] Mmm.
[man sighs]
Darling, how long do you intend on giving us the cold shoulder?
Lurch, please remind my parents that I’m no longer speaking to them.
[Lurch grunts]
[woman] Hmm.
I promise you, my little viper, you will love Nevermore.
Won’t she, Tish?
Of course. It’s the perfect school for her.
Why? Because it was the perfect school for you?

I have no interest in following in your footsteps.
Becoming captain of the fencing team, Queen of the Dark Prom, President of the Séance Society.
I merely meant that finally you will be among peers who understand you.
Maybe you’ll even make some friends.
Nevermore is like no other boarding school.
It’s a magical place.
It’s where I met your mother.
And we fell in love.
[yearning sigh]
You guys are making me nauseous.
Not in a good way.
Darling, we aren’t the ones who got you expelled.
That boy’s family was going to file attempted murder charges.
How would that have looked on your record?
Terrible.
Everyone would know I failed to get the job done.

Hmm.
[man] Just over here is fine.
Thanks.
You sure you want to get out here?
The trail might look pretty, but it runs right past Nevermore.
That school for outcasts?
Huh. That’s a polite way of putting it.
I never had a problem with outcasts.
My counselor at summer camp was a werewolf.
Great guy.
Yeah, they’re just like you and me, until they rip your throat out.
[chuckles wryly] Thanks.
[bird caws]
[low, menacing music playing]
[branches snapping]
[ragged breathing]
[creature snarls]
[panicked screaming]
[gate hinges creak]
[ominous music builds]
[sighs] At least it’s turning into a beautiful day.
[bells tolling]
[thunder rumbling]
[playfully gloomy music playing]
Wednesday is certainly a unique name.
I’m guessing it was the day you were born?
I was born on Friday the 13th.
Her name comes from a line from my favorite nursery rhyme, “Wednesday’s child is full of woe.”
You always had a unique perspective on the world, Morticia.
Hmm.
Did your mother tell you we were roommates back in the day?
And you graduated with your sanity intact?
Impressive.
You’ve certainly had a very interesting educational journey.
Eight schools in five years.
They haven’t built one strong enough to hold me.
I bet this place won’t be any different.
What our daughter is trying to say is that she greatly appreciates the opportunity.
Nevermore doesn’t usually accept students mid-term, but given Wednesday’s perfect grades and
your family’s long history with the school, I’ve spoken with the board and we’ve made an exception.
[quirky music playing]
Larissa, what about Wednesday’s, um… therapy sessions?
The court ordered them.
Hmm. The school has a relationship with a therapist in Jericho.
She can meet twice a week.
Did you hear that, my little storm cloud?
You’re in excellent hands.

We’ll see if she survives the first session.
I’ve assigned you to your mother’s old dorm.
Ophelia Hall.
[gasps, chuckles excitedly]
[Wednesday] Refresh my memory.
Ophelia’s the one who kills herself after being driven mad by her family, correct?
Should we go meet your new roommate?
[Morticia gasps]
It’s so… vivid.
[inhales excitedly] Howdy, roomie.
Wednesday, this is Enid Sinclair.
Are you feeling okay?
You look a little pale.
Wednesday always looks half-dead.
Oh.
Welcome to Ophelia Hall.
Not a hugger. Got it.
Please excuse Wednesday.
She’s allergic to color.
[Enid] Oh, wow.
What happens to you?
[flatly] I break out into hives and then the flesh peels off my bones.
Luckily, we’ve special ordered you a uniform. [chuckles]
Enid, please take Wednesday to the registrar’s office to pick it up along with her schedule, and give
her a tour along the way.
[ominous music playing]
[haunting choral vocalizations]
Nevermore was founded in 1791 to educate people like us.
Outcasts, freaks, monsters, fill in your favorite marginalized group here.
You can save the sanitized sales pitch.
I don’t plan on staying here for long.

Why not?
This was my parents’ idea.
Oh look, there’s my mother smirking at me.
They’ve been looking for any excuse to send me here.
It’s all a part of their nefarious, yet completely obvious plan.
What plan?
To turn me into a version of themselves.
In that case, perhaps you can clear something up.
Rumor’s been swirling around that you killed a kid at your old school, and your parents pulled strings
to get you off.
Actually, it was two kids, but who’s counting?
Welcome to the quad.
It’s a pentagon.
The whole snarky Goth girl thing might have worked at normie school, but here things are different.
Let me give you a wiki on Nevermore’s social scene.
I’m not interested in participating in tribal adolescent clichés.

Well, then use it to fill your obviously bottomless pit of disdain.
There are many flavors of outcasts here, but the four main cliques are Fangs, Furs, Stoners and
Scales.
Those are the Fangs, AKA vampires.
Some of them have literally been here for decades.
That bunch of knuckleheads are Furs, AKA werewolves.
Like me!
[Furs howling]
Full moons get pretty loud around here.
That’s when Furs wolf out.
I suggest you pick up noise-cancelling headphones.
I’m assuming Scales are sirens?
[Enid] You catch on quick.
And that girl, Bianca Barclay, is the closest thing Nevermore has to royalty.
[enchanting whooshing]
Although her crown’s been slipping lately.

She used to date our resident tortured artist, Xavier Thorpe.
But they broke up at the beginning of the semester.
Reason unknown.
Fascinating.
I know, right?
My vlog is, like, the number one source for Nevermore gossip.
Yo, Enid! You’re not gonna believe the dirt I heard about your new roommate.
She eats human flesh.
Chowed down on that kid she murdered.
You better watch your back.
Quite the contrary.
I actually fillet the bodies of my victims, then feed them to my menagerie of pets.
Ajax, this is my new roommate, Wednesday.
Whoa.
You’re in black and white.
Like a living Instagram filter.

Ignore him.
Gorgons spend way too much time getting stoned.
He’s cute, but clueless.
It’s a small school. There wasn’t much online about you.
You should really get on Insta, Snapchat and TikTok.
I find social media to be a soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmation.
Look at you, my little deathtrap.
Seeing you in this uniform brings back so many terrible memories.
Doesn’t it, Tish?
Yes.
Why don’t you boys wait in the car?
Wednesday and I need a moment.
[Pugsley grunts]
Pugsley, you’re soft and weak.
You’ll never survive without me. I give you two months, tops.
I’m gonna miss you, too, sis.
Any plans you have of running away end right now.
I’ve alerted all family members to contact me the minute you darken their doorstep.
You have nowhere to go.
As usual, you underestimate me, Mother.
I will escape this educational penitentiary, and you will never hear from me again.
[sighs]
You are a brilliant girl, Wednesday, but sometimes you get in your own way.
I’m sure you’ll grow to love Nevermore, and find it as life-changing as I did.
Oh, I got you a little something.
W…
M.
Our initials.
It’s made of obsidian, which Aztec priests used to conjure visions.
It’s a symbol of our connection.
Which one of your spirits suggested this toe-curling tchotchke?

I’m not you, Mother.
I will never fall in love, or be a housewife, or have a family.
I’m told girls your age say hurtful things, and I shouldn’t take it to heart.
Fortunately, you don’t have one.
Finally, a kind word for your mother.
Lurch, the crystal ball, please.
We can’t talk to you for the first week while you’re settling in, so we’ll call you next Sunday.
[delicate, emotional music playing]
[car door closes]
Don’t worry, my love.
Our little scorpion won’t be alone.
[undercarriage clattering]
[fingers scuttling]
[thunder booms]
Where’s the rest of him?

Well, the torso and arm are over there.
We found a leg by the lake.
There’s an arm in that tree over there, and the rest of the parts are so far unaccounted for.
It matches the profile of the other two attacks last week.
All right, issue a warning. Keep hikers out of the woods.
Don’t approve any more campfire permits for the foreseeable future.
What do you want me to tell the press?
You know they’re going to be swarming like mosquitos in July.
Tell them the bear is back.
You don’t believe that, Sheriff.
No, I don’t.
Whatever did this wasn’t human.
Look, I know these murders are connected to Nevermore.
I just can’t prove it yet. So until I can…
it’s a goddamn bear.
What the hell did you do to my room?

Dividing our room equally.
It looks like a rainbow vomited on your side.
I…
Silence would be appreciated.
This is my writing time.
Your writing time?
I devote an hour a day to my novel.
Perhaps if you did the same, your vlog might be coherent.
I’ve read serial killer diaries with better punctuation.
I write in my voice.
It’s my truth. It’s what my followers love.
Your followers are clearly imbeciles.
They respond to your stories with insipid little pictures.
Uh, you mean, emojis?
It’s how people express their feelings. I realize that’s a foreign concept to you.
When I look at you, the following emojis come to mind.
Rope, shovel, hole.
By the way, there are two D’s in Addams.
If you’re going to gossip about me, at least spell my name correctly.
[music player beeps, playing peppy pop song]
Turn that off.
This is your final warning.
[playfully] Rawr!
Don’t mess with me.
This kitty’s got claws, and I’m not afraid to use them.
[door opens]
Good evening, girls.
Oh, sorry about the mud.
I wanted to make sure that Wednesday was settling in.
Ah. Is this a bad time?
I’m Ms. Thornhill, your dorm mom.

Apologies, I wasn’t here to greet you when you arrived.
I trust Enid has given you the old Nevermore welcome.
She’s been smothering me with hospitality.
I hope to return the favor.
In her sleep.
Well, here’s a little welcome gift from my conservatory.
I try to match the right flower to each of my girls.
When I read your personal statement in your application, I immediately thought of this one.
The black dahlia.
Oh, you know it?
Of course. It’s named after my favorite unsolved murder.
Thank you.
Okey-dokey. Before I leave, I want to go over a few house rules.
Lights off at 10:00, no loud music, and no boys, ever.
What’s the story about going into the local town?

Passes to Jericho are a privilege, not a right.
It’s a brisk 25-minute walk, or there’s a shuttle on the weekends.
The locals are a tad bit wary about Nevermore, so please don’t go making any waves, or
perpetuating any outcast stereotypes.
That means keep your claws to yourself, and no smothering people in their sleep.
Are we clear?
Great talk. [chuckles]
[door opens]
[foils clattering]
[fencer grunts]
[fencer grunts]
Coach, Coach, she tripped me.
It was a clean strike, Rowan.
Maybe if you whined less and practiced more, you wouldn’t suck.
Seriously, Coach, when am I gonna get real competition?
Anyone else want to challenge me?

I do.
Oh, you must be the psychopath they let in.
You must be the self-appointed Queen Bee.
Interesting thing about bees. Pull out their stingers, they drop dead.
[fencers] Ooh!
Rowan doesn’t need you to come to his defense.
He’s not helpless, he’s lazy.
Are we doing this or not?
En garde.
[dramatic music playing]
[both grunting]
[coach] Point to Wednesday.
[both continue grunting]
[coach] The score is even.
That first point was clearly beginner’s luck.

Let’s finish this.
For the final point, I would like to invoke a military challenge.
No masks.
No tips.
[fencers] Ooh.
Winner draws first blood.
[dramatic musical flourish]
It’s your decision, Bianca.
Let’s see if you bleed in black and white.
[dramatic music continues]
[rapier tip slices]
[disbelieving exhale]
Your face finally got that splash of color it so desperately needed.
[chuckles]
[Rowan] You’re Wednesday, right?

Rowan.
I know how you feel.
I guarantee you don’t.
My mother promised me I’d finally fit in somewhere.
I never thought it was possible to be an outcast in a school full of outcasts.
But it looks like you’re gonna give me a run for my money.
Uh…
Sorry about the… nick.
No good deed goes unpunished.
[quirkily sinister music playing]
[water tank gurgling]
[chilling choir vocalizations]
[stone scraping]
[boy] Wednesday!
Welcome back.
Just take it easy.

Nurse said you don’t have a concussion, but you probably have a nasty bump, huh?
The last thing I remember I was walking outside feeling a mixture of rage, pity and self-disgust.
I never felt that way before.
Losing to Bianca has that effect on people, I think.
Then I looked up and saw that gargoyle coming down and I thought, “At least I’ll have an imaginative
death.”
Then you tackled me out of the way.
Why?
[clicks tongue] Call it instinct.
So you were guided by latent chivalry, the tool of the patriarchy, to extract my undying gratitude?
Mm-hmm. Most people just say thank you.
I didn’t want to be rescued.
I shoulda just let that thing smash you to mush?
I would have rather saved myself.
[scoffs] Good to see you haven’t changed.
If makes you feel any better, let’s just say I returned the favor.
Xavier Thorpe?
You probably don’t remember me.
Last time we met, I was about two feet shorter, 40 pounds heavier.
What happened?
[exhales] Puberty, I guess.
What happened the last time we met?
Oh. Uh.
Yeah, it… it was my godmother’s funeral.
She was friends with your grandmother, and they spent their twenties in Europe, swindling the rich
and notorious.
I don’t know, but we were ten, and we were bored, decided to play hide and seek.
I had the inspired idea to hide in her casket.
I got stuck as it was headed to the crematorium.
I’d heard muffled screams.
I just figured your godmother had cheated death and was trying to claw her way out.
Either way, you hit the big red stop button and saved me from being flame-broiled. So… now we’re
even.
[mournful rendition of “La Llorona” playing]
[typewriter keys clacking]
♪ Ay de mí, Llorona ♪
♪ Llorona, tú eres mi chunca ♪
[bed squeaking]
♪ Ay de mí, Llorona ♪
♪ Llorona, tú eres mi chunca… ♪
I knew it!
Hello, Thing.
[bed frame rattling]
Did you think my highly trained olfactory sense wouldn’t pick up on the faint whiff of neroli and
bergamot in your favorite hand lotion?
I could do this all day.
[desk trembling]
Surrender?
[tapping frantically]
Mother and Father sent you to spy on me, didn’t they?
I’m not above breaking a few fingers.
That they thought I wouldn’t find out proves how much they underestimate me.
Oh, Thing, you poor, naive appendage.
My parents aren’t worried about me.
They’re evil puppeteers who want to pull my strings even from afar.
The way I see it, you have two options.
Option one.
I lock you in here for the rest of the semester, and you go slowly insane trying to claw your way out,
ruining your nails and your smooth, supple skin.
And we both know how vain you are.
Option two.
You pledge your undying loyalty to me.
♪ …que no se apartan de mí… ♪
Our first order of business is to escape this teenage purgatory.
[tapping]
Of course I have a plan.
And it begins now.
[mysterious music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
[Weems] Dr. Kinbott’s office is on the second floor.
Other Nevermore students swear by her.
You’ll be here until I’m done?
Perhaps afterwards we can visit the Weathervane for hot chocolate.
Principal Weems, this feeble attempt at bonding is beneath you.
And chauffeuring your students around is below your pay grade.
Given your history, I’m sure you’re intent on running away.
I’m here to prevent that from happening.
I wish you luck.
[door slams]
I read the notes from your school counselor.

Mrs. Bronstein. She had a nervous breakdown after our last session and had to take a six-month
sabbatical.
Go ahead and take a seat.
How did you feel about that?
Vindicated.
But someone who crochets for a hobby isn’t a worthy adversary.
Adversary?
I hope we can forge a relationship based on trust and mutual respect.
[scoffs]
This is a safe space, Wednesday.
A sanctuary where we can discuss anything.
What you’re thinking, feeling,
your views on the world, personal philosophy.
That’s easy. I think that this is a waste of time.
I see the world as a place that must be endured, and my personal philosophy is kill or be killed.
So, for instance, when someone bullies your brother, your response is to dump piranha in the pool.
You know the old saying, never bring a knife to a sword fight.
Unless it’s concealed.
Point is, you assaulted a boy, and showed no remorse for your actions.
That’s why you’re here.
He lost a testicle.
I did the world a favor. People like Dalton shouldn’t procreate.
I’ve answered all your questions.
We’re not done yet.
[mysterious notes play]
Therapy is a valuable tool to help you understand yourself.
It can teach you new ways to deal with your emotions.
It can also help you build a life that you want.
I know the life that I want.
Tell me about it.
Everything said in these sessions is strictly confidential.
Do your plans involve becoming an author?

I understand you’ve written three novels about a teen girl detective, Viper De La Muerte.
Can you tell me about her?
Viper is smart, perceptive, chronically misunderstood.
Any luck getting your work published?
Editors are short-sighted, fear-based life forms.
One once described my writing as gratuitously morbid, and suggested I seek psychiatric help.
[Kinbott] Hmm.
Ironic, isn’t it?
How did you take that?
I sent her a “thank you.”
[mischievous music playing]
[screams]
I’ve always been open to constructive criticism.
I’m glad to hear that.
Because I was sent the manuscripts as part of your psych evaluation.

The relationship I found most intriguing was that of Viper and her mother, Dominica.
Why don’t we dig into that?
Part of this journey requires us going to uncomfortable places emotionally.
I don’t travel well.
Would you mind if I use the powder room first?
[tense music builds, fades away]
[lock clicks]
[clattering]
[Kinbott] Wednesday?
Is everything okay?
You can’t hide for the rest of the session.
[Wednesday] I’m all right.
Just preparing myself for our uncomfortable journey.
Nail file.
[dark electronic arrangement of theme music playing]
On Saturday, I can do in the afternoon, sometime around four o’clock?

[eerie whooshing]
[cell phone rings]
[ominous chanting]
[chanting subsides]
[farmer] Who let you out?
You goddamn weirdo.
[espresso machine whirs, hisses]
Holy crap!
Do you make a habit of scaring the hell out of people?
It’s more of a hobby.
You go to Nevermore.
Didn’t realize they changed the uniform.
I need a quad over ice.
It’s an emergency.
It’s four shots of espresso.

Yeah, I… I know what a quad is, but, spoiler alert, the espresso machine’s having a seizure, so all we
have is drip.
But drip is for people who hate themselves and know their lives have no real purpose or meaning.
What’s wrong with your machine?
It’s a temperamental beast with a mind of its own, and it doesn’t help that the instructions are in
Italian.
I need a tri-wing screwdriver and a four-millimeter Allen wrench.
Wait, you read Italian?
Of course. It’s the native tongue of Machiavelli.
Here’s the deal. I’m going to fix your coffee machine, then you’re going to make my coffee and call a
taxi.
Uh, no taxis in Jericho.
Try Uber?
I don’t have a phone. I refuse to be a slave to technology.
Then you’re out of luck.
Where you going anyway?
That’s on a need-to-know basis. What about trains?
Nearest station is Burlington. It’s half an hour away.

You have a valve issue. I’ve seen it before.
Where? You have one of these monsters at home?
Steam-powered guillotine. I built it when I was ten.
I wanted to decapitate my dolls more efficiently.
Sure.
Grim Reaper Barbie, makes perfect sense.
[steam vents, subsides]
Wow.
Thanks.
I never met a Nevermore kid who got their hands dirty.
I’m Tyler, by the way.
I didn’t catch your name, or is that on a need-to-know basis too?
Wednesday.
Tell you what, Wednesday.
To show my appreciation, how about I drive you to Burlington?

Perfect. Put that quad in a to-go cup.
Uh, but I don’t get off for another hour.
I’ll sweeten the pot.
Twenty whole dollars…
Tempting, but no.
I’ll make it 40.
Uh…
Listen, Wednesday, one fun fact about me…
I can’t be bought, so either wait, or find someone else to drive you.
[melancholic string music playing]
[exhales softly]
[wry chuckle]
What happened?
Hey, boys, check it out.
Who’s that?
Bro…
Come on.
[boy 1] What’s a Nevermore freak doing out in the wild?
[boy 2] This is our booth.
Why are you dressed like religious fanatics?
We’re pilgrims.
Potato, po-tah-to.
We work at Pilgrim World.
It takes a special kind of stupid to devote an entire theme park to zealots responsible for mass
genocide.
My dad owns Pilgrim World.
Who you calling stupid?
If the buckled shoe fits.
Guys, back off.
Stay out of this, Galpin.
Yes, stay out of this.
[sinister music playing]

So tell me, freak… you ever been with a normie?
I’ve never found one that could handle me.
Boo!
Hey!
[boy grunts]
[bone cracks]
[boys grunting]
[patrons chattering]
[coughing]
So where’d you learn those kung fu moves?
[Wednesday] My uncle taught me. He spent five years in a Tibetan Monastery.
Was he a monk?
Prisoner.
[Tyler] Dad!
Tyler, the hell’s going on in here?

They were harassing a customer, and she put them in their place.
This little thing took down three boys?
Did you help her?
Dad, I swear, I wasn’t involved.
[bullies groaning]
Apologies, Sheriff.
This one slipped away from me.
Come on, Miss Addams, time to go.
Wait a minute, hang on.
You’re an Addams?
Don’t tell me Gomez Addams is your father?
That man belongs behind bars for murder.
Guessin’ the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
I’m gonna keep my eye on you.
Okay.
[door opens, closes]

Your first day and you’re already on Sheriff Galpin’s radar.
Wish I could say I was surprised.
What did he mean about my father?
I have no idea, but a word of advice.
Stop making enemies and start making a few friends.
You’re going to need them.
[Weems] Looks like an accident.
I hope the driver’s okay.
He’s dead.
[siren wailing]
Broke his neck.
[police radio chatter]
How can you tell from this angle?
[tense, elegant cello music playing]

[Wednesday playing “Paint It, Black”]
[plucking out pizzicato rhythm]
[shelf rumbling]
[sweeping refrain builds]
[cello continuing faintly in distance]
[cello continuing faintly in distance]
[sighs contentedly]
[music swells, finishes]
[exhales sharply]
[tapping]
No, I don’t really feel better.
There’s just something wrong about this place.
Not just because it’s a school.
[door opens]
How the hell did you get that oversized violin out the window?
I had an extra hand.

Whoa.
Where’s the rest of him?
It’s one of the great Addams family mysteries.
[Furs howling, baying]
Why aren’t you wolfing out?
Because I can’t.
It’s all I got.
My mom says some wolves are late bloomers, but I’ve been to the best Lycanologist.
I had to fly to Milwaukee, would you believe it?
Yeah, she says there’s a chance I may never…
you know.
What happens then?
I’d become a lone wolf.
Sounds perfect.
Are you kidding me? My life would be officially over.

I’d be kicked out of my family pack with no prospect of finding a mate.
I’m failing to see the problem here.
I could die alone.
We all die alone, Enid.
You really suck at this.
Cheering people up.
[cries shakily]
Why are you crying?
Because I’m upset!
Haven’t you ever cried, or are you above that too?
It was the week after Halloween.
I was six years old.
I took my pet scorpion, Nero, out for his afternoon stroll, and we were ambushed.
They wondered what kind of freak would have a scorpion for a pet.
[boy] Yeah.
Two of them held me down and made me watch…

[bullies laughing]
[gasps]
[Nero squelching]
…while the others ran Nero over until…
[forlorn music playing]
It was snowing when I buried what was left of him.
I cried my little black heart out.
But tears don’t fix anything.
So I vowed to never do it again.
[Furs continue baying]
Your secret’s safe with me.
Still think you’re weird as shit, though.
The feeling is incredibly mutual.
How would you like your single room back?
You just need to show me how to use your computer.

[rapid knocking]
[suspenseful music building]
Holy shit!
[tapping]
Okay.
Okay, I’m taking orders from a hand.
This isn’t weird at all.
[ring tone trills]
Uh… hi.
That’s Thing.
Is he, like, your pet?
He’s sensitive.
Look, I know Nevermore is ground zero for all things weird, but this is next-level.
So, what happened to not wanting to be a slave to technology?
Desperate times.
Are you still willing to help me escape?

After what happened today, I figured they’d have you in solitary.
There’s the Harvest Festival this weekend. Attendance is mandatory.
I’m going to use it as a cover.
If you’re willing to drive me to the station, I can make it worth your while.
I’m in.
And no charge.
Consider it a freebie.
Why?
‘Cause I wish I was going with you.
At least one of us will get out of this hellhole town.
[crowd chatters, laughs]
Are you sure you can trust that normie?
Dad, I didn’t know they were gonna be here.
I trust that I can handle myself.
I don’t want you talking to her. I want you home by 12:00.

1:00.
12:30.
[Enid] Well, good luck and safe travels.
Still not a hugger. Got it.
[tense music builds]
[tense music trails off]
Jeez, you get any better at this, you’ll be taking home a whole pack.
Pandas don’t travel in packs. They prefer solitude.
All right. Subtle hint taken.
You should know I’m waiting for someone.
Oh yeah, who’s the lucky guy… or girl?
What does it matter to you?
Didn’t mean to interrupt.
You’re not.
This is gonna be trickier than I thought.
Dad hit me with a curfew. We need to go if I’m gonna make it back in time.
I’ve got some dead weight I need to lose first.
Meet me behind the parking lot when the fireworks start.
You see that sad, lonely woman over there?
She needs this pathetic validation more than I do.
Would you mind distracting her?
[panda] I love you. I love you.
[fireworks crackling]
Hey, before you leave, I wanted you to have this.
It’s your dad’s police file from when he was at Nevermore.
I think it’s the reason my dad hates him.
You okay?
I’m not used to people engaging with me.
Most see me coming and cross the street.
You’re not scary. You’re just kinda… kooky.
I prefer spooky.
Oh.
Now my train leaves in an hour. We’re burning moonlight.
Uh, right, right.
Hey.
Come on, Wednesday. Wednesday!
We can lose them in the crowd.
Oh, whoa!
[cryptic, high-pitched tones play]
[caws]
[wails]
[flesh rending]
Shit.
Wednesday, we need to go.
Wednesday, come on.
Wednesday!
Rowan, come back!
Rowan, wait!
What do you want? Why are you following me?
I don’t have time to explain, but you’re in danger.
[chuckles]
I think you’ve got it backwards.
[grunts]
You’re the one who’s in danger.
What are you doing?
Saving everyone from you.
[grunts] I have to kill you.
The gargoyle, that was you?
Yeah.
It’s always the quiet ones.
[ominous whooshing]
[Rowan] Girl in the picture. That’s you.
You want to kill me because of some picture?
My mother drew that picture 25 years ago when she was a student at Nevermore.
She was a powerful Seer.
Told me about it before she died.
Rowan, put me down.
No! My mother said it was my destiny to stop this girl if she ever came to Nevermore, because she
will destroy the school and everyone in it.
[arcane power surges]
[grunts]
Rowan.
Rowan.
[tense, frenetic music playing]
[bestial snarl]
[screams]
[bellows]
[Rowan wails]
[flesh rending]
[raspy growling]
Hello, my little black cloud.
So tell us darling, how was your first week?
[Wednesday] Let’s see.
I narrowly avoided death twice, discovered that my father may be a murderer, learned that I could
potentially destroy the school, and was mysteriously saved by a homicidal monster.
As much as it pains me to admit, you were right, Mother.
I think I’m going to love it here.
[dramatic music swells]
[narrator] This season on Wednesday…
[Wednesday] This story’s about to take a dark turn.
Luckily,
I’m not afraid of the dark.
There’s a monster out there, but everyone believes I made it all up.
I need to find something that can prove I haven’t lost my mind.
[Tyler] You’re really obsessed with this monster-in-the-woods thing.
Would you rather I develop an obsession with horses and boy bands?
So, tell us everything.
[Wednesday] Since you’ve abandoned me, I’ve been hunted, haunted, and the target of an
attempted murder.
Ah, Nevermore, I love you so!
[creature snarls, growls]
How do you manage to end up at the center of every terrible thing that happens here?
Incredible luck.
[all screaming]
[Wednesday] You insisted I go to this school.
Did you really think I wouldn’t find out your secret?
You don’t know the full story.
When I suggested giving your side of the room a makeover, I did not have Ted Bundy’s Pinterest in
mind. Ew.
[Wednesday] This ends now.

[dramatic music intensifies]
If you hear me screaming bloody murder, there’s a good chance I’m just enjoying myself.
[narrator] Watch all episodes now.
[jauntily macabre outro music playing]
EP 02 (Woe is the Loneliest

Number)
[low, menacing music plays]
[police radio chatter]
[Wednesday] This story is about to take a dark turn.
[dogs barking]
[sirens wailing]
Usually, I love dark turns.
Like when the carousel brakes mysteriously failed at my eighth birthday party. But not this one.
[barks]
[sighs] We’ve been searching for hours, Sheriff. The dogs need a break.
Think we missed something?
I say we double back, sweep Collet Creek, and then call it a night.
Okay.
[gloomy, bombastic music plays]
How could you miss a dead body?
‘Cause it wasn’t there.
No footprints, no blood, no sign of a struggle. Nothing, nada.
My search party looked all night.
Well, your search party must have left their seeing-eye dogs at home.
I saw that monster kill Rowan right in front of me.
Get a good look at this monster thing?
It didn’t stick around for a chat.
Maybe it was one of your classmates.
Sheriff, I find that question offensive.
I don’t care, ’cause I got three other dead bodies in the morgue.
Hikers just ripped apart in the woods.

The mayor said those were bear attacks.
Well, the mayor and I disagree on that.
So you automatically assume a Nevermore student is the murderer, even though there’s no evidence
a crime was even committed.
I’m sorry. I forgot, you only teach the good outcasts here, right?
[Weems sighs]
My guess is Rowan ran away.
State troopers have put out an alert, and I’ve contacted his family, but they haven’t heard from him
either.
Dead people are notoriously bad at returning calls.
What were you doing out in the woods with him, Ms. Addams?
I heard a noise in the forest and went to go investigate.
That’s when I stumbled upon the attack.
Then what happened?
Then I ran into Bianca Barclay, and I told her to go for help.
Next thing I remember, I was awaking in my dorm.
And just to be clear, this monster wasn’t a bear or some other wild animal?
I’ve hibernated with grizzlies.
I know the difference.
Thank you, Sheriff.
I think Miss Addams is done now.
Actually, I would like to speak to Sheriff Galpin. Alone.
[unnerving chord plays]
I’m not sure I can allow that.
I’m sure I could take her to the station and get a formal statement.
Yeah, let’s go.
Fine.
You have five minutes, and everything is off the record.
Play nice… or I will call the mayor.
[door opens]
Someone is trying to cover up Rowan’s murder.
That’s the only reason to scrub the crime scene.

Is that your professional opinion as the daughter of a murderer?
My father’s twice the man you are, and the only thing he murders is the occasional opera in the
shower.
It’s been a long night. I’m tired of your games.
I’m not playing games.
I’m telling the truth.
You want to reject my claims but you can’t.
Why is that?
Because you and I both know there’s a monster out there.
And Rowan is his latest victim.
Sheriff?
What?
You’re gonna want to see this.
[mysterious, haunting music plays]
[Wednesday] Edgar Allan Poe said, “Believe nothing you hear and half of what you see.”
Clearly Nevermore’s most famous alumni picked that up here.

No wonder he became a drug-addled madman.
[jauntily macabre theme music plays]
[Kinbott] Help me understand why you claim you witnessed a murder.
Was it to gain attention?
Why should I bother telling you anything?
You’ve already decided I’m lying.
I know what I saw.
Your life’s had a lot of upheaval recently.
It’s okay to be confused about things.
Don’t try and lure me into one of your psychological traps.
No one is trying to trap you.
I’m here to help you process your emotions.
Emotions are a gateway trait.
They lead to feelings, which trigger tears.
I don’t do tears.
Tell me how you’re adjusting to school.
Sartre said, “Hell is other people.”
He was my first crush.
Wednesday, Part of the reason your parents sent you to Nevermore is so you could find your people.
Become part of a larger community.
I like being an island.
A well-fortified one surrounded by sharks.
Have you considered your antisocial tendencies might be motivated by fear of rejection?
If you were to reject me, I would not be upset.
You can’t get rid of me that easily.
And look, you made it through an entire session without trying to escape.
I’ll take that as a win.
[cuckoo clock chirping cheerfully]
[Tyler] Guess you decided to stick around Jericho.
Wait, you see Dr. Kinbott too?
You should know I’m legally required to be here.

Uh, me too. Court ordered.
Look at us. A couple of teenage tearaways.
[Tyler chuckles]
Hey, when you ran off last night at the Harvest Festival, I wasn’t sure what happened, and then I
heard…
Kinda crazy.
Everyone, including your father, believes I made it all up.
[cell phone pings]
You know, I…
Time to get in touch with my inner rebel.
You know, for the record, I believe you.
[delicate, cryptic music plays]
Ladies, come on! Let’s work on those teeth.
More scowl.
This kitty is taking no prisoners.
If Bianca Barclay wins again this year, I will literally scratch my own eyes out!
I would pay money to see that.
Howdy, roomie!
I’m so glad you decided to stay.
I thought you wanted your single room back.
Full disclosure, I don’t like living solo and Thing gives a killer neck massage.
It’s a win-win.
So… why the change of heart?
I refuse to play the role of a pawn in someone else’s corrupt game.
You mean Rowan?
I witnessed his murder, Enid.
It’s just, we all saw him this morning.
Very much, like, not dead.
I know.
Which leads me to believe I’ve been losing my mind.
It’s not nearly as fun as I had anticipated.

You’re Nevermore’s gossip queen. What’s Rowan’s story?
Other than being a weird loner… Uh…
No offense.
None taken.
Xavier Thorpe’s his roommate.
If you had a cell phone, you could just text him and ask him.
Yoko. Come on! Flare those whiskers.
The Poe Cup droops for no one.
What is the Poe Cup anyway?
My entire reason for living right now.
Part canoe race, part foot chase, no rules.
Each dorm has to pick an Edgar Allan Poe short story for inspiration.
You could grab a brush.
Ms. Thornhill’s just ordered pizza. Want to take a stab at being social?
I do like stabbing.
The social part, not so much.

Besides, it’ll cut into my writing time.
No worries.
Just as long as you’re lakeside cheering us to victory on race day.
Or you can just glare uncomfortably. Whatever works for you.
I’ve always hated the expression “write what you know.”
[typewriter dings]
It’s a hall pass for the imagination-impaired.
But when your life becomes a twisted mystery… maybe it’s time to lean into it.
[chilling music plays]
I need to speak with Rowan. I can’t find him.
It won’t be possible, I’m afraid. He’s been expelled.
For what?
Never you mind. He’ll be on the first train out this afternoon.
What were you doing out in the woods with him?
I told you already.

I heard a noise, and I went to investigate.
[scoffs]
That excuse might have placated the sheriff, but you can’t fool me.
You had a psychic vision, didn’t you?
I realized you might be having them when we passed by the accident and you knew that poor farmer
had broken his neck.
Your mother started having visions around your age.
They were notoriously unreliable and dangerous.
I remember at first, she thought she might be losing her mind.
Have you spoken to her about them?
Clearly the person withholding information here is you.
May I go now?
Not until you’ve picked your extracurricular activity.
We want our students to be well-rounded.
I’d prefer to remain sharp-edged.

I took the liberty of putting together a list of clubs that have openings.
How thoughtful.
You need to have picked one by the end of the day.
I’ll be keeping my eye on you.
No doubt you’ll find something that tickles your fancy.
The last person who tickled me lost a finger.
[choir practices scales in distance]
Weems is clearly trying to keep tabs on me.
Keep an eye on Rowan.
Don’t let your fingers out of his sight.
♪ We got scales on scales on scales On scales on scales on scales ♪
♪ On scales on scales on scales ♪
Weems said you’d be stopping by.
But to be honest, after your performance at the Harvest Festival, drama club might be more your
speed.
After I passed out, who did you tell? The sheriff?

You think I’d trust normie cops?
I went straight to Weems and let her handle it.
Anyway, let’s get this audition over with.
What are you? Alto, soprano or just loco?
[choir chuckles]
[piano note plays]
[inhales]
[no audible sound]
[glass shattering]
Huh?
[brittle cracking]
What was that?
A note only dogs can hear.
[choir harmonizing to the tune of “Don’t Worry Be Happy”]
[deep bass vocalizing]
[acapella scatting]
[soloist] ♪ Here’s a little song I wrote ♪
♪ You might want to sing it Note for note ♪
♪ Don’t worry ♪
♪ Be happy… ♪
Huh. You actually showed up. Ever shot a bow and arrow before?
Only on live targets.
Okay.
Square stance.
Load the arrow like this, yellow side out.
Three fingers.
Pull back and… let it fly.
Any questions?
When’s the last time you saw your roommate Rowan?
You mean the one that was killed by a monster?
The Harvest Festival. I haven’t talked to him since.

But his side of the room was all packed this morning.
Rowan’s always been a little off, but, uh, the last couple weeks he’s been more erratic.
You know, telekinesis can mess with your head, you know. He’s…
It started to freak me out.
So what’s the deal with you and Tyler?
I’m sorry, were you the only one who got to ask non-archery questions?
There is no deal. He was doing me a favor driving me out of town.
Yeah, word of advice. Steer clear.
Why? Because he’s a normie?
Tyler and his friends are jerks.
They can’t stand that this school’s propping up their Podunk town.
Says the boy whose life was served on a silver platter.
Hey, girls in glass houses…
Should throw bigger stones.
At least I’m not an elitist snob.
[bow string draws taut]

[plucky musical flourish]
Ouch.
[bees buzzing]
Are you interested in the ancient art of beekeeping?
[beekeeper chuckles]
Eugene. Eugene Ottinger.
Founder and president of the Nevermore Hummers.
Wednesday. Wednesday Addams.
Am I late or is it only you?
The hive life isn’t for everyone.
Most kids are afraid of venomous insects.
Are you willing to feel the sting?
[dramatic chord plays]
Bees have been producing honey in the same way for 150 million years.
They’re nature’s perfect community.

All working together to achieve a common goal.
Fun fact, it’s also one of the few ecosystems in which females dominate.
From the queen bee to her workers. There’s no patriarchy in the hive!
[curious, quirky music plays]
[sighs]
[Wednesday] Rowan! We need to talk.
Wednesday, I’m not allowed to speak to anyone.
You had a lot to say when you tried to kill me.
Told me I was destined to destroy the school, remember?
Where did you get that drawing?
I just went into the woods to clear my head.
Then you came after me.
Wednesday.
You shouldn’t be here.
Yeah, back off and leave me alone.
[door slams]
[engine turns over]
[bold, inquisitive music playing]
[bold, inquisitive music continues]
[bold music swells, fades away]
[quirky music plays]
[announcer speaking indistinctly over PA]
[train horn blares]
[low, foreboding music plays]
[mysterious whoosh]
I’m going to give you all the materials again…
How do you lose him in a bathroom with no windows?
A lefty wouldn’t have failed me.
Don’t sulk.
I’m going to have to find new evidence myself, since you lost our only lead.
I see you finally made a friend.

Even if it is a plant.
I go for quality over quantity.
[Xavier sighs]
There’s an open spot next to me.
If you can stand sitting that close to an elitist snob.
[eerie, unsettling music plays]
[sketch rustling]
I doubt Wednesday is impressed by your tricks, Mr. Thorpe.
Admit it, you’re a little impressed.
[thwack]
[students laugh]
Wednesday, we’re thrilled to have you join us on our journey into the world of carnivorous plants.
Now… who can tell us the name of this beauty?
Dendrophylax lindenii. Otherwise known as the ghost orchid. First discovered on the Isle of Wight in
1854.
Very good, Wednesday.

You may have competition for first chair, Bianca.
[student] Ooh!
[subdued snickers]
Wednesday, perhaps you can identify the ghost orchid’s greatest qualities.
Resilience and adaptability.
It’s able to thrive in even the most hostile environments.
But its mere presence can change the ecosystem, causing the established plants to reject it.
Usually because the native species is allowed to thrive unchecked.
Nothing a Weedwacker couldn’t fix.
You can most certainly try.
Are we still talking about flowers?
[students chuckle]
Thank you, ladies, for those illuminating insights.
Clearly the plants aren’t the only carnivores in class today.
Good boy.
Watch your butt. Watch your butt.

Hey. Where you going with Elvis?
Just, uh… following a lead on a case.
You still believe there’s a creature out there, don’t you?
I heard you and Santiago talking. You think it’s a Nevermore kid?
Ran into your shrink.
She was kind of tight-lipped about your progress.
It’s called doctor-patient confidentiality.
How about father-son confidentiality?
What are you two yakking about?
Video games, cancel culture, oat milk versus soy, it’s a wild time.
I pay the bills, I got a right to ask.
We talk about Mom.
Remember her?
[Elvis whimpers]
Better not be talking crap about your old man.

I’ll be home late. You’re on your own for dinner.
Oh, damn.
I… I was hoping we could fire up the grill and then catch the big game.
Love these warm, fuzzy memories we’re making, Dad.
[tires screech]
I have to get back to the woods, but Weems has been watching me like a vulture circling a carcass.
And you want me to cover so that you can return to the scene of a crime that didn’t happen?
I have beekeeping club this afternoon.
I need you as decoy.
Sorry. Two strikes.
I’m busy and bees totally creep me out.
Why don’t you ask Thing? Wait, you can’t because he’s mad at you.
Why’s he mad? He’s the one who screwed up.
All I know is that we spent an hour giving each other manis, and he really opened up.
He feels like you don’t respect him as a person.
Technically, he’s only a hand.

Wednesday! He’s your family.
And he would do anything for you.
Go apologize and I’ll reconsider helping you.
[pages rustling]
I snapped at you. I’ll check my tone in the future.
Now chop-chop, before all our leads turn cold.
What is it that you want? Hand cream? Nail buffer?
New cuticle scissors?
Consider it done.
[tapping]
[Wednesday sighs]
I know I’m stubborn, single-minded and obsessive.
But those are all traits of great writers.
Yes. And serial killers.
What’s your point?

I have nothing to get off my chest, and I am not submitting to your emotional blackmail.
[tapping]
Fine.
When Rowan showed me this, it confirmed my greatest fear.
That I’m going to be responsible for something terrible.
Not good terrible, like Ivan.
Bad terrible.
And I can’t let that happen.
That’s why I need to find out the truth.
Breathe a word of this to anyone and I will end you.
[bees buzzing]
[Wednesday] If Weems comes sniffing around, keep your distance, look grim, and don’t say a word.
Payback is going to be a bitch.
I’d expect nothing less.
Blab and I will squeeze you like a honeycomb.
Snitches get stung.

It’s hive code.
Besides, I should be thanking you.
This is the most girls I’ve ever had in the shed.
Other than bees.
Shocking.
I’ve always had a thing for werewolf chicks.
The chance that Enid ever becomes romantically interested in you is less than 1%.
So I’ve still got a shot?
Yes!
In ancient times, honey was used to treat wounds and in sacrificial burial rites.
Cleopatra was rumored to bathe in honey.
Gave her skin a luminous glow.
You ever taken a honey bath?
I just don’t wanna get stung.
The key is to remain calm.

Bees detect fear, but you don’t need to worry.
Because I have a very big smoker, and I handle it like a pro.
Would you like to see it?
[Enid sighs]
[low, mysterious music playing]
[grunt in distance]
[jolting stinger]
[Elvis barks]
Sorry. I didn’t want Elvis to pick up on your scent.
Thanks. How’d you throw them off?
Uh…
[chuckles wryly]
Coffee grounds?
Deer-hunting hack.
One of the perks of being a part-time barista.
I assume your father didn’t bring the bloodhound to play fetch.

He doesn’t tell me shit.
You must think it’s weird I’m stalking him.
No, I consistently stalk my parents.
Hey, wait, what really happened the other night at the festival?
Look, I swear I won’t say anything to my dad.
I thought Rowan was in danger.
Turns out I was wrong.
Then he proceeded to use his telekinesis to try and choke me to death.
Holy shit. Wh… Why would he do that?
No idea. That’s when this monster came out of the shadows and gutted him.
Whoa. Whoa.
So… So you really saw it?
And it didn’t try to kill you?
It actually saved me from Rowan. That’s the part I’m trying to figure out.
I came here to find something that can prove he was murdered and that I haven’t lost my mind.
Yet.
These are Rowan’s.
I knew it was a cover-up.
[eerie whooshing]
[Rowan] What are you talking about?
So much of my…
…my new desk, you psychopath!
[Xavier echoing]
Speaking of that…
You creep people out!
You know…
Unbelievable.
I did.
You’re crazy!
[grunts]
You okay?
[Wednesday] I keep seeing that same purple book.
The cover was darker.
More like a day-old contusion. Keep looking.
I don’t usually find students in here looking for actual books. [chuckles]
Most sneak in to make out.
I accidentally walked in on two vampires fanging.
I can’t unsee that.
Is there something I can help you find?
Have you seen this before?
It’s a watermark from a book I’m looking for.
I think it’s the symbol to an old student society. Um…
The Nightshades.
Like the deadly flower.
Color me intrigued.
I was told they disbanded years ago.
Any idea why?
Sorry.
I was very impressed with your answers in class today.
My mother is a carnivorous plant aficionado.
I assume I get my red thumb from her.
Are you and your mother close?
Like two inmates sentenced to life on the same cell block.
I know it can’t be easy… showing up mid-semester.
I’ve been here a year and a half, and I still feel like an outsider.
Because you’re the only normie on the staff?
Enid told me.
To tell you the truth, I’ve never really fit in anywhere.
Too odd for the normies, not odd enough for the outcasts.
I thought Nevermore would be different, but there’s still a handful of teachers who will barely
acknowledge me.
I act as if I don’t care if people dislike me.
Deep down… I secretly enjoy it.
Never lose that, Wednesday.
Lose what?
[sighs] The ability to not let others define you.
It’s a gift.
Doesn’t always feel that way.
The most interesting plants grow in the shade.
[subdued, emotional music playing]
And if you ever need anyone to talk to, the door to the conservatory is always open.
[bell tolling]
That purple book has got to be around here somewhere.
Start investigating.
[enigmatic, inquisitive music plays]
Rowan’s full of surprises.
[two knocks at door]

[Xavier sighs]
[knocking continues]
You’re not supposed to be up here.
Good to see you too.
How’d you get past the Housemaster? Use your siren powers?
Not while wearing this.
Would it kill you to not think the worst of me for once?
[Xavier] What do you want, Bianca?
To see how you’re doing.
I’m sorry about Rowan. I know you guys used to be close.
Since when did you give a damn about Rowan?
You were the one afraid he’d do something to Wednesday.
Isn’t that why you’ve been following her like an eager-eyed puppy?
Or is there something more?
Seriously, what do you see in her?

You have a thing for a tragic goth girls with funeral-parlor fashion sense?
Maybe it’s because she hasn’t tried to manipulate me.
I make one mistake, and you can’t forgive me.
She treats you like crap, you can’t get enough.
Why are you fixated on Wednesday?
Because she thinks she’s better than everyone else.
I can’t wait to crush Ophelia Hall tomorrow and watch her werewolf roommate crumble.
It’s gonna be a Poe Cup finale to remember.
I hate to think what you’ve got planned.
My game’s already started.
I like to win.
Is that so wrong?
And you wonder why I broke up with you.
You used to love my killer instinct.
We were good together, Xavier.
Were we?
Is that just how you wanted me to feel?
Trust me, Wednesday Addams is not the girl of your dreams.
She’s the stuff of your nightmares.
[door opens]
[Enid weeping]
Where have you been?
I’m literally having a heart attack right now.
Yoko’s in the infirmary!
What happened?
Garlic bread incident at dinner.
She had a major allergic reaction. She’s out of the Poe Cup.
I don’t have a co-pilot.
It wasn’t an accident. Bianca’s behind it.
How do you know?
Doesn’t matter.
You and I are going to take her down tomorrow.
Wait. You’re joining the Black Cats?
You’re willing to do that?
For me?
I want to humiliate Bianca so badly that the bitter taste of defeat burns in her throat.
Yeah, but mostly you’re doing it because we’re friends, right?
Tell me how she keeps winning.
It’s a real brain cramp.
The past two years, no other boat has made it across and back without sinking.
Sounds like sabotage.
There are no rules in the Poe Cup, and she is a siren, which makes her master of the water.
Then we just need to beat her at her own game.
We’re all set.
Good. Thing’s in position.
Wanna tell me what you two were up to?
And spoil the surprise?

Speaking of surprises, your costume’s in the tent.
Costume?
OMG, you look purr-fect!
Only thing, where are your whiskers?
Ask again, and you’ll be down to eight lives.
[rousing fanfare plays]
Focus.
[Bianca] What do we have here?
The runt of the litter.
For the record, I don’t believe I’m better than everyone else.
Just that I’m better than you.
I want to welcome you all to the Edgar Allan Poe Cup.
This is one of Nevermore’s proudest annual traditions, dating back 125 years.
Each team must row across to Raven Island, pull a flag from Crackstone’s Crypt, and hustle back
without sinking or being sunk.
First team to cross the finish line with their flag wins the cup and bragging rights for a year, as well as
some special privileges.
Let the Poe Cup begin!
[student] Go! Go! Go!
[all cheering]
[coxswain 1] Move. Faster!
[coxswain 2] Come on, ladies. Let’s go!
[tense, dramatic music plays]
[cheering]
[Xavier] Oh, excuse us!
Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!
[lever clacks]
[axe blade rasps]
[rower 1] Come on! Go!
[rower 2] Come on!
[thud]
[chuckles]
Turn! Turn!
Turn!
[rowers panicking]
[all exclaiming]
[coughing, spluttering]
Come on, man. We lost ’cause of you.
[malicious chuckling]
Faster!
Thing.
[projectile whistles]
[low, keening howl]
[tense, dramatic music continues]
Let’s go. It’s over here.
Stay here and make sure Bianca can’t sabotage our boat.
Thing, I need you to distract a couple of jokers.
[rower 3] What?
[rower 4] Come on.
Go.
Let’s get it.
[canoe cracking]
Let’s go, man.
She’s right there.
Come on.
[Xavier] Later, Wednesday!
[eerie whooshing, crackling]
[muffled, distorted audio]
You are the key.
Taking a catnap?
[dramatic music continues]
Come on!
Hurry up, we have to go!

What’s going on?
[Enid crows]
See ya, jokers!
[Xavier] Cheaters!
I just asked myself, “WWWD?” What Would Wednesday Do?
The final two teams are the Gold Bugs…
[cheering, whooping]
…and the Black Cats.
[Enid] Come on.
[Enid panting]
[muffled thud]
[Enid] Gotcha!
[frustrated grunt]
[triumphant fanfare plays]
Whoo!
[Enid] Yeah, we did it!

OMG, Wednesday, we did it!
This is the greatest moment of my entire life.
Admit it, you kinda got into the whole school spirit thing.
You didn’t tell me it was a dark, vengeful spirit.
The first Poe Cup took place in 1897 as a way to not only honor Nevermore’s most famous alumni,
but to celebrate those values that all outcasts share.
Community, perseverance, and determination.
And we certainly saw those values on display today.
Yeah!
[Enid] Whoo!
Yeah!
[Weems] Congratulations to Ophelia Hall!
As a former resident, I will be happy to see the cup back on the mantle after all these years.
[sighs]
[Enid] What are you doing down here?
Hiding.
People keep randomly smiling at me, it’s unsettling.
It’s called having your moment.
You took down Bianca Barclay. Try to enjoy it.
The girls wanna know if you wanna hang out later.
Oh, come on, it won’t kill you.
I’ll think about it.
Yes!
[Weems] It’s good to see you fitting in.
Just like your mother.
My mother and I are two different people/species/everything.
The last time Ophelia Hall won the Poe Cup, your mother captained the team.
I was her co-pilot.
Maybe you two are more alike than you think.
[Enid] I’m so excited.
[quietly] It was your job to help us win. She’s never lost. Never.
[typewriter keys clacking faintly]
[Wednesday] Nevermore continues to be an enigma.
A place where the questions far outweigh the answers.
But sometimes… the answer is staring you right in the face.
[chilling music plays]
Don’t worry, Edgar Allan.
I see your sanctimonious smirk.
But I will get the last laugh.
Your penchant for riddles was legendary.
And this might be your cleverest yet.
Because it’s not a single riddle.
Rather, each line is its own separate one.
“The opposite of moon.” Sun.
“A world between ours.” Nether.
“Two months before June.” April.
“A self-seeding flower.” Pansy.

“One more than one.” Two.
“Its leaves weep to the ground.” Willow. “It melts in the sun.” Ice.
“Its beginning and end never found.” Circle.
“Every rule has one.” Exception.
“The answer will give a sharp cracking sound.”
[music builds to climax]
[sharp cracking sound]
[grand music playing]
Secret societies.
Hidden libraries.
My mother staring at me in a judgmental way.
These are all things I’ve come to expect.
But the minute I inch towards the truth…
Luckily, I’m not afraid of the dark.
[jauntily macabre outro music plays]

EP 03 (Friend or Woe)
[eerie music playing]
[Wednesday] Let’s assess, shall we?
Bag over my head for optimal disorientation, wrists tied tight enough to cut off circulation, and no
idea if I’m going to live or die.
It’s definitely my kind of party.
[mysterious voice] Who dares breach our inner sanctum?
You can take the mask off, Bianca.
And just like that, my hopes were dashed against the rocks of bitter disappointment.
My foe was no psychotic killer.
More like a bunch of high school clowns.
Wait, I preferred you with it on.
How did you get down here?
Rowan showed me.
Left pocket.
I tracked the watermark to the Poe statue.

Then I solved the riddle.
Wait, there’s a riddle?
I thought we just snapped twice.
Well, aren’t you the brightest in the bunch?
The Nightshades are an elite social club.
Emphasis on elite.
We have roof parties, campouts, the occasional midnight skinny-dip.
And Yoko’s an amateur mixologist.
She makes a killer virgin mojito. It can get pretty wild.
Wow. Do you guys even have a bedtime?
Last I heard, the Nightshades had been disbanded.
Yeah, the group kind of lost its charter 30 years ago after some normie kid died.
[Yoko] But we have a lot of wealthy alumni, so Weems looks the other way as long as nobody makes
any waves.
Someone like Rowan?

We booted that loser last semester.
Question is, what are we gonna do with her?
Only members are allowed in this library.
I say we invite her to pledge.
[student] What?
She is a legacy.
After the crap she pulled in the Poe Cup, there’s no way in hell.
We talk about not making waves? She’s a tsunami.
Just because I beat you at your own game? Let me save you the trouble.
I’m not interested in joining.
You’re seriously turning us down?
Can you believe it?
Untie her.
I freed myself five minutes ago.
Do you want a matching black eye?
It’s amateurs like you who give kidnapping a bad name.

[quirky music playing]
[jauntily macabre theme music playing]
[chilling music playing]
[Wednesday] There were so many threads to my investigation, I could weave a burial shroud.
I still have no idea how Rowan mysteriously rose from the dead.
Or why that monster is prowling the woods.
But right now, nothing intrigues me more than this book.
If I’m going to be responsible for Nevermore’s demise, the question is, why am I sharing this
apocalypse with a pilgrim?
[Weems claps]
All students will report for their volunteer jobs at 10:00 a.m. sharp, followed by a community lunch
at 1:00.
As you know, this year Outreach Day culminates in a very special event, the dedication of a new
memorial statue in the town square, which will also include performances by Nevermore students.
[excited giggling]
[Weems] As representatives of our school, I trust you will all put your best face forward.
[student 1] Yeah.
[student 2] Yes!
Yes! I got Pilgrim World.
I have natural people skills and a love of performing, so it’s kind of the obvi choice.
What’d you get?
Uriah’s Heap, whatever that is.
Ew. It’s this weird, creepy antique store.
You’ll love it though.
I’m crossing my claws Ajax and I will be outreaching together.
Oh my God, I got the Weathervane.
Dude, trade with me. Come on, trade with me!
Wednesday, don’t worry about your cello.
I’ll have it brought to the town square this afternoon.
My cello?
I caught your rooftop serenade the other night.
Impressive.
I volunteered you to accompany the Jericho High School marching band at the ceremony.
I’m sure it won’t be too challenging to play an uplifting Fleetwood Mac melody.
As long as you promise to hang me as a witch afterwards.
[tense, drawn-out chord playing]
[piston firing]
[overlapping chatter]
Why are you staring at a blank wall?
It wasn’t blank last Outreach Day.
Are you still stewing because I rejected your invitation?
I did go out on a limb for you.
Please. I’m just cannon fodder in whatever cold war you’re waging with Bianca.
I have more pressing issues.
Like what?
Tracking down the monster that killed your roommate.
Oh my god. For the last time, Rowan was expelled.

Everyone saw him leave.
Have you spoken to him since?
I texted him a few times, but I never heard back.
I just figured he wanted Nevermore in his rearview mirror.
Or he’s dead.
I don’t know why you care. It’s not like you knew the guy.
I’m not sure why you care so little.
People can dismiss me and make a million other excuses, but I’m not gonna stop.
Oh, great. I guess you can add “thief” to your resume.
I don’t know what the big deal is about an old Nightshade’s journal anyways.
You didn’t seem surprised when I showed you this last night.
You’ve seen it before, haven’t you?
Yeah. A couple days before the Harvest Festival.
It was open on Rowan’s desk.
I assumed he stole it after we kicked him out of the Nightshades.
Then I confronted him about it, and he kind of went ballistic on me.
It is unbelievable…
Shut up!
How can you?
You’re crazy!
[Rowan, Xavier both grunt]
He threw you against the wall with his telekinesis.
Yeah.
How did you know that?
Lucky guess.
It’s weird that you’re in this. This journal is like, what, 30 years old?
What’s Crackstone doing in the picture with you?
You know who that is?
Yeah, it’s Joseph Crackstone.
He’s, like, Jericho’s founding father.
He’s a big deal around here.

Yeah, look.
That’s him.
Sheriff.
Yeah.
You remember my son, Lucas?
I sure do. I ran into him and his buddies last week at the Weathervane.
I’d better get to work.
Hey, no trouble today. You got it?
[Galpin groans]
Hey, don’t look too excited.
Those outcast kids might think we’re happy to have ’em.
We got something lurking in the woods, connected to that school.
Come on, would you stop pointing fingers at Nevermore?
You know how much Jericho depends on that place.
Who do you think pays for our roads, our parks… even your salary?
I’m just doing my job, looking out for the well-being of our town, boss.
Don’t lecture me, Donovan.
Before the good citizens of Jericho elected me mayor, I used to wear that badge, remember?
Mm-hmm. You never struck me as much of a history buff back then.
If it’s good for business, then it’s good for Jericho.
Especially if your business is Pilgrim World.
Hey.
Just find the damn bear and take care of it.
[Galpin] Mmm.
[Weems] All right. Everyone take a seat.
We have a special announcement.
[applause]
Welcome, welcome, Nevermore Academy.
Now, on behalf of the entire Jericho community, we are so, so pleased to have you all here today.
Your generosity and hard work are truly… outreachous!

[Walker laughs, clears throat]
Okay, everyone. We’ll see you back here at one o’clock for lunch. Enjoy!
Enid.
Switch volunteer assignments.
What? No. Uriah’s Heap is definitely not my bag.
It’s an emergency. I need to check out Pilgrim World.
But Wednesday, this is not a fair trade.
Why would I agree to spend the entire day at some dumpy emporium of crapola?
Because Ajax is volunteering there.
Thing sneaked a peek at his assignment.
But if you’re not interested…
No!
Oh my God, thank you. You’re the best!
[Enid giggles excitedly]
[whimsical, old-timey music playing]
[tourists chattering indistinctly]

Welcome to Pilgrim World!
Witch trials every day!
Two o’clock, four o’clock!
Hey, man! Woman!
[whimsical, old-timey music playing]
Hey, Wednesday, want to grab a Hummers group photo?
Guess not.
Good morrow, my young Nevermore kin.
I am Mistress Arlene. A real OC.
Original colonist.
Now prithee, put your cell phones on vibrate and make haste, for you are about to travel back in
time to the year of our Lord 1625, to Jericho’s first pilgrim settlement.
[whimsical, old-timey music continues]
Yonder.
Behold, the meeting house.
Inside is a collection of artifacts related to Jericho’s most beloved and pious founder,
Joseph Crackstone.
And beyond is our privy, America’s first gender-neutral restroom.
I haveth a query.
Pray, be quick, child.
In the meeting house, which of Joseph Crackstone’s artifacts are on display?
It is truly a treasure trove, including original farm tools, tableware, even the Crackstone family
chamber pot.
Sounds fascinating. I volunteer to work in there.
Pray, no. That exhibit is being renovated.
Today, thou will all be working at the beating heart of Pilgrim World.
[hawker] Ye olde fudgery!
“Ye Olde Fudgery?”
More like ye olde diabetes in a box.
Volunteers, prick up thine ears.
Fudge is the lifeblood of our humble community.
And samples equal sales, so grab a uniform and a box and make our forefathers proud.
Are these for muzzling tourists?
[old-timey music fades away]
[creepy, ornate music playing]
[clocks ticking]
[Enid grimaces]
I’m pretty sure it’s dead.
See the tire treads across its tail?
Local artist scooped that fella up right here on Route 22.
You’re telling me someone actually goes out and collects roadkill and turns them into that?
Can’t keep them on the shelves.
Got a whole section dedicated to these beauties.
Squirrels, skunks, snakes, and my personal fave… family of ferrets at a clambake.
Too cute.
You two want to make yourself useful?
I reckon they could use a good brush with a Tangle Teezer.

It freshens up the fur.
Maybe we can do that after, like, a…
An extended coffee break.
Right, Ajax?
Uh, yeah. We’ll hit the Weathervane. Want us to pick you up something?
No need to pay for that overpriced hipster swill.
I’m brewing chaga.
It’s my own blend.
Mushroom tea.
I foraged the little buggers myself.
Better get teasing. You’re in for a treat.
Okay.
This is good.
Delicious.
You’re welcome.
[in German] Enjoy your “authentic” pilgrim fudge made with cacao beans procured by the oppressed
indigenous people of the Amazon.
[tourist] What?
All proceeds go to uphold this pathetic whitewashing of American history.
Also, fudge wasn’t invented for another 258 years.
Any takers?
[tourists] No, no, no.
[discontented murmuring]
Ugh.
[Eugene gasps]
Check out this greedy little freak.
Please, I need to get back to the…
[stomach rumbles queasily]
[bully] Whoa, yuck!
Yuck, man.
Come here!
[Eugene flinches]
[bully] Get in there!
Howdy, Pilgrims.
Let him go.
You want to end up in the stocks too?
Remember what happened the last time we did this dance?
[tense music playing]
[bully 2] Get her!
[bones crack]
Are you two still here?
I can’t get into more trouble with my dad.
[boy in stockade] No, wait!
Lucas.
Let’s get you cleaned up.
[groans]
Principal Weems.
Well, it looks like another successful Outreach Day is upon us.
[Weems chuckles]
And, uh… thank you for your generous donation to my re-election campaign.
[clicks tongue] Consider it a token of our ongoing cooperation.
Apparently everyone is off to their assignments.
And so far no incidents.
Mayor Walker, I’d like you to meet Marilyn Thornhill.
In the spirit of outreach, she’s Nevermore’s first normie teacher.
[chuckles] Well, the pleasure is all mine.
Hey, have we, uh… Have we met before?
Not officially, but I see you in here every morning.
You’re always tucked into that back booth when I come for my daily matcha latte.
I knew it! [chuckles]
Miss Thornhill, please keep me posted, especially about a certain pig-tailed upstart.
Right.
Nobody’s ever stood up for me before.
You said Hummers stick together.
I know this might come as a shock, but I don’t have any friends.
You remind me of my brother, sans the desire to strangle him every waking moment.
Now follow me.
I need to know more about this Crackstone.
We have a meeting house to break into.
[chickens clucking]
Give me your retainer.
What? Why? Your teeth are really good.
Not as straight or white as Enid’s, but…
Hand it over!
What if Mistress Arlene catches us?
Hive code, deny everything.
That’s not hive code!
What’s the big deal anyway?

The fudge is definitely the best thing about this place.
Stop talking. Keep watch.
[Wednesday] My grandmother once told me secrets are like zombies…
they never truly die.
I’m not sure what secret Crackstone is hiding,
but I have a strange feeling the answers to my future lie in the past.
The Old Meeting House, 1625.
Thing, this is the girl from my vision.
She’s even holding the same book.
That black one she had outside Crackstone’s crypt.
How now.
Your Nevermore sister, the one with the dark eyes and the sour face, where has she hithered?
You mean Wednesday Addams?

Knowing her, she’s hithered somewhere she shan’t be.
This is the book!
Codex Umbrarum.
That’s Latin for “Book of Shadows.”
Great. It’s a fake.
I don’t know who Etsy is, but I doubt she was an outcast settler.
[door opens]
[grunts]
Just what the fudge are you doing in here, missy?
Mistress Arlene. How now?
How now, indeed.
I proclaimed the meeting house is under repair.
I know thoust heard me.
I told her the door was unlocked and you were dying to learn more about Crackstone.
Yes, and this display case was already open.
That book’s a replica.

You don’t say.
The original was stolen last month during the two o’clock witch trial.
It was probably the only authentic thing you have in here, yet you still charge $29.95 a ticket?
Hold thy tongue.
I’m reassigning you both.
To fudge-churning duty.
[disappointed sigh]
The original meeting house, the one in that painting, where is it?
[sighs]
How the hell should I know?
I only moved here from Scottsdale in April.
[quizzical music playing]
Can I help you?
[door opens, bell chimes]
Ooh. That gives me the heebie-jeebies.

[Ajax] I don’t know.
You think squirrels and rats could ever work out?
I mean, they’re two totally different species.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, totally.
Why not?
They have more in common than you think.
Most people are scared of them, so it would just be us… them… against the world.
Wow. [chuckles]
That was… deep.
You know, by the way, I totally dug the way you scratched out the bottom of our boat at Poe Cup.
It was pretty badass.
Thanks. You’re not mad you lost?
I was just doing a solid for Xavier.
I mean, he’s my boy, but he’s super competitive.
Seems so laid-back.
Bro’s got a darker side most people don’t see.
I think it’s because his dad is… well, you know, famous.
All that pressure.
You realize this is, like, the longest conversation we’ve ever had?
[heart-warming music playing]
Gorgons are taught not to engage.
You know, I don’t want to accidentally stone someone.
I’m not afraid of being stoned by you.
It’s just temporary.
Really?
You mean that?
One hundo!
So, um, I was thinking of sneaking behind the greenhouse tonight.
Supposed to be a blue moon.
Only happens once every 23 years or something crazy.

Should get a killer view from there.
Cool. Hey, have fun.
You know that’s where a lot of kids go to hook up, right?
I mean, it could get awkward.
Ajax!
I just spent all morning flirting and hinting and trying to act cute while brushing some roadkill just so
you would ask me on a date.
Oh! [laughs]
Oh! That’s what you were doing.
I kind of wondered when you spent so long brushing that opossum’s tail.
[both chuckle]
Hey, so you want to meet up behind the greenhouse tonight?
Yes.
Yes, I do.
[proprietor] Ajax, can you help me move the badger dentist to the front window?
Yes! I can’t believe he asked.

[plucky, excited music playing]
I thought you were supposed to be at Pilgrim World.
I deserted it while my sanity was still intact.
Oh yeah?
You want a coffee?
It’s one of the many perks of this wonderful assignment.
I’m actually here for Tyler.
I told you he was bad news.
Twice.
But who I speak to is my business.
[bell dings]
You rang?
[scoffs]
Want the usual?
And some help.
You know the original pilgrim meeting house, the one from the 1600s?
You know if it’s still around?
What’s left is out in Cobham Woods, but it’s pretty much a ruin.
Show me.
Uh…
There, but, look, it’s kind of sketchy.
Squatters and meth heads use that place as a crash pad.
My dad has it cleared out every couple weeks.
What’s this about?
Nothing.
You’re becoming obsessed with this monster in the woods thing.
Would you rather I develop an obsession with horses and boy bands?
Thank you for the help.
Hey, listen, the ruins are kind of tricky to find.
I could take you this afternoon. My shift ends at 2:00.
Principal Weems would hang, draw and quarter me if I miss the big statue dedication.
And as enticing as that sounds, I’d prefer to keep a low profile.
Besides, I know my way around the great outdoors.
Don’t tell me you were a Girl Scout.
I could eat Girl Scouts for breakfast.
I have an uncle who went to prison for that.
[whimsically morbid music playing]
[birds cawing]
I was expecting more too.
Who you talking to, little girl?
Use “little” and “girl” to address me again and I can’t guarantee your safety.
This is my place. Get out!
Thing, a hand here?
[man exclaiming]
Hey!
[Thing’s grip constricting]
[man grunts]
Hey!
[grunting] Get off! Get off me!
There’s nothing here.
[tapping]
No, I can’t just touch something.
My visions seem to happen spontaneously.
I would rather dye my hair pink than ask my mother for advice.
Oh, you want me to prove it to you?
No.
Nothing.
Ah, I bet this will give us some real insight.
My visions are about as predictable as shark attacks.
[eerie whooshing]
[crowd shouting, clamoring]
[girl grunting]
[villagers] Burn her!
Burn her!
[villagers] Burn her!
Burn her!
Devil spawn!
[villager 1] Devil spawn!
[villager 2] Beast!
Witch!
Repent!
Begone!
Witch!
Stand aside!
Goody Addams!
You have been judged before God and found guilty.
You are a witch, a sorceress, Lucifer’s mistress herself.
For your sins, you will burn this night, and suffer the flames of eternal hellfire.
I am innocent.
It is you, Joseph Crackstone, that should be tried.
We were here before you, living in harmony with nature and the native folk.
But you have stolen our land.
You have slaughtered the innocent. You have robbed us of our peaceful spirit.
You are the true monster. All of you!
[sharp slicing]
[villagers exclaim]
[villager 3] Punish her!
The Devil ne’er sent such a demon.
[Goody Addams cries out]
And I will send you back!
No!
[villagers hollering, clamoring]
You are abominations in the Devil’s grip!

I will not stop till I have expunged this New World of every outcast.
Godless creatures!
[intimidating music playing]
[captives crying out]
Set it ablaze!
[captives scream]
[terrified screaming]
[captives crying out, whimpering]
Mother!
Mother.
[chains rattle]
There’s no time, child.
Leave me. Save yourself.
He’s chained us all to the floor.
[despondent music playing]
[panicked, agitated murmuring]

[Goody Addams] I shan’t leave without you.
Run. Avenge us.
Find the others and save our future. [coughs]
Please. My sweet lamb.
Run. Run as fast as you can.
You are our only hope.
[mournful, dramatic music playing]
[Wednesday coughing]
[chilling notes play]
He won’t stop until he’s killed us all!
He’s here.
[menacing gurgling]
There will be no escape for you.
[thunder rumbles]
[gasps]
Thing, I saw her!
The girl from my visions.
Her name is Goody Addams, and I believe she’s my ancestor from 400 years ago.
[suspenseful music builds]
Must’ve been the bearded man from earlier.
[creature snarls]
[gasps]
Come on! Come on!
The monster’s human.
[Xavier] What the hell are you doing?
I was following the monster.
You saw it?
It’s here? Do you have a death wish or something?
What are you doing here?
I overheard you say you were checking out the old meeting house.
It’s lucky I showed up when I did.
I did learn one thing.
The monster is human.
Its tracks turned from monster prints to human ones.
Show me.
The rain washed them all away.
[Xavier scoffs]
I know what I saw.
I’m trying to keep an open mind.
How big of you.
I do think you might be right about Rowan.
[suspicious music playing]
Why the sudden change of heart?
I texted him again today. I said maybe we could meet over spring break and go snowboarding like we
did last year.
This time he texted right back, said he wouldn’t be able to make it.
Only you never went snowboarding last year.
Part of me wanted to blame his recent weirdness.
I didn’t want to think something bad had happened.
The cover-up is always worse than the crime.
Now I need you to be honest with me.
Why’d you come out to the old meeting house in the first place?
I was trying to learn more about Crackstone.
Figure out how he’s connected to this.
Yeah, you were trying to use your psychic abilities, right?
What makes you think I have any?
Lucky guess. When did they start?
About a year ago.
When they happen, it feels like I’m touching live wire.
I usually enjoy that sensation.
Yeah, but you can’t control it and that freaks you out.
My dad’s a psychic.
Vincent Thorpe.
My brother’s his number one fan.
Watched his Vegas Special so many times I’m surprised it’s not imprinted on his eyeballs.
So I’ve lived with a self-described master.
The first thing he’ll tell you is that visions can’t be trusted.
They only show one part of the picture.
I saw Joseph Crackstone in front of me as clearly as I’m seeing you now.
He gathered all the outcasts in the meeting house and burned them alive.
Okay, he was a sadistic asshole.
It was 400 years ago. It’s got nothing to do with now.
But what if it does?
You saw Rowan’s drawing. Crackstone was standing in the quad.
You’re creating a story in your head and using visions to back it up.
They’re telling you what you want to see.
Are you mansplaining my power?

All I’m saying is my dad, the expert, would warn you that psychic ability isn’t rooted in logic.
It’s triggered by emotions.
And let’s be honest, emotion isn’t your strong suit.
I believe Rowan was right.
Something bad is going to happen, and I need to stop it.
Starting with that monster.
Whoever it is.
[thunder rumbles]
[scoffs]
[mellow synth-pop music playing]
[Wednesday] I thought nothing scared me, but that was before I stared into the eyes of Joseph
Crackstone.
I don’t believe in heaven or hell. But I do believe in revenge.
I usually serve it warm with a side of pain, but I’ve never faced an adversary cast in bronze.
[mellow music continues]
[Walker] Thank you.

It is my honor to celebrate our town’s history and Jericho’s noble forefather, Joseph Crackstone.
Now, he believed that with a happy heart and an open ear, there was nothing our town couldn’t
achieve.
So together as one, our community and our friends at Nevermore Academy, we’ve built a
monument to celebrate his memory.
Now, may the spirit of Joseph Crackstone be memorialized for eternity.
[band playing peppy arrangement of “Don’t Stop” by Fleetwood Mac]
[crowd cheers]
[fizzing]
[rapid popping]
[vendor yelps]
[crowd screams, panics]
[Wednesday drawing out agitated notes]
[playing intense arrangement of Vivaldi’s “Winter”]
[sirens wailing]
[song trails off]
That was a disaster.

The mayor is furious!
I’ve lost count of the angry phone calls, emails, and people in the town, alumni and parents.
They want answers and so do I.
I would lead the inquisition, but I left my thumbscrews and rack at home.
Miss Addams… you’re already on thin ice.
Wafer-thin ice.
I swear on my late scorpion’s soul, my hands are clean.
[cheekily dramatic music playing]
[music ends abruptly]
I may not have hard evidence, but I see you.
You’re a trouble magnet.
If trouble means standing up to lies, decades of discrimination, centuries of treating outcasts like
second-class citizens or worse…
What are you talking about?
Jericho.
Why does this town even have an Outreach Day?

Don’t you know its real history with outcasts?
The actual story of Joseph Crackstone?
I do.
To an extent.
Then why be complicit in its cover up?
Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.
[pensive music playing]
That’s where you and I differ.
Where you see doom, I see opportunity.
Maybe this is a chance to rewrite the wrongs, to start a new chapter in the normie-outcast relations.
Nothing has changed since Crackstone. They still hate us.
Only now they sugarcoat it with platitudes and smiles.
If you’re unwilling to fight for truth…
You don’t think I want the truth?
Of course I do.
But the world isn’t always black and white.
There are shades of gray.
Maybe for you.
But it’s either they write our story or we do.
You can’t have it both ways.
You’re exhausting.
I know.
[exasperated sigh]
Goodnight, Miss Addams.
But you should know… I don’t tire easily.
[foreboding music playing]
[distant sniffing, crunching]
Who the hell’s there?
[screams]
[creature snarling]
[camera bulb popping]
[flesh rending]
[man screaming]
Too much?
[sighs] I feel like you just napalmed me, Enid.
So glad I have my date with Ajax tonight.
Get my mind off that trainwreck of an afternoon.
I literally think I have PTSD. I didn’t even get to do my dance routine.
What a tragedy.
What kind of twisted psycho would want to sabotage such a life-affirming event?
You’re going to be late.
Wish me luck.
If he breaks your heart, I’ll nail-gun his.

[elegant instrumental music playing]
[Wednesday] I don’t believe in mandatory volunteer work, sugar-coated history, or happy endings,
but most of all… I don’t believe in coincidences.
[gasps softly]
[sirens wailing]
[elegant instrumental cover of “Nothing Else Matters” by Metallica]
To paraphrase Agatha Christie, one coincidence is just a coincidence, two are a clue…
[Ajax humming]
…and three are proof.
No!
[sighs]
Rowan’s drawing of me and Crackstone happens sometime in the future.
Goody Addams’ warnings about Crackstone were in the past.
And the monster is here in the present.
Three coincidences that I know are connected.
That monster could be anyone.

The sheriff thinks they only exist behind the walls of this school.
The truth is, there are monsters everywhere.
[muffled screaming]
And sometimes the monsters we least suspect are the most dangerous.
[shrieks]
[metallic scraping]
[shrieks]
They don’t need teeth and claws to terrify.
They hide in the shadows until no one is looking.
And then they strike.
But I’m looking now.
And I won’t stop until I find the truth.
[instrumental music intensifies]
[chilling music builds]
[music fades]

EP 04 (Woe What A Night)
[low, ominous music playing]
[rattling, thudding]
[Wednesday] Dr. Kinbott tells me I should get out more.
Says I need to open my mind to new people and experiences.
Who am I to argue with her professional clichés?
While I do the autopsy, you find the files of the monster’s other victims and make copies.
[Thing taps loudly]
Don’t pout.
Your scalpel skills are questionable.
Do you remember my 13th birthday, when Uncle Fester gave me that cadaver?
You sliced right through that man’s carotid.
[resigned tap]
[sighs]
No.
No.
[inhales appreciatively] Magnificent hematoma.
There you are.
Thursday, 7:23 p.m. The body is that of a 50-year-old male.
[copier whirs]
Lacerations and defensive wounds appear on both hands.
What remains of the chest and torso indicates a frenzied attack.
Subject has been almost entirely disemboweled.
[anxious tapping]
[vehicle approaching]
This is curious.
Subject’s left foot is missing.
It appears to have been chewed off at the ankle.

Have you seen a left foot anywhere?
[frantic tapping]
Calm down. Who’s coming?
Appreciate you coming back to the office, Doc.
No problem, Sheriff.
Whatever I can do to help.
Whatever or whoever is responsible for these killings…
In all my years, I’ve never seen injuries like them.
[clattering]
I thought you should see this before I issued my report on the latest victim.
It’s a real noodle-scratcher.
The killer cut off two toes from the victim’s left foot.
Best guess, they used a surgical saw.
The final autopsy report’s still pending.
Minute you’re done, send it straight to my desk.
Media blackout on the toes.

Sure thing, Sheriff.
Been a busy couple of weeks, huh?
At least I’m going out in style. Friday’s my last day.
Happy retirement, Doc.
Gonna surprise Mrs. Anwar with a four-week cruise.
[chuckles wryly]
Excited to trade rib shears for Mai Tais.
See yourself out. I’ll lock up.
[music swells, trails off]
I don’t remember this one coming in.
Full rigor. You’ve been dead a while.
Guess you won’t mind waiting another day for me to cut you open.
[mysterious music continuing]
Five more minutes.

I was just getting comfortable.
[“Tierra Rica” by Carmita Jiménez plays]
♪ Yo so la pregonera ♪
♪ En alas de canción… ♪
When I suggested giving your side of the room a makeover, I did not have Ted Bundy’s Pinterest in
mind.
Still not as creepy as your stuffed unicorn collection.
Is this why you snuck out last night?
Thing and I made an unsanctioned trip to the morgue to copy the files of the monster’s victims.
Okay, there are so many levels of ew in that statement, I don’t know where to begin.
I need to get inside its head.
Discover any patterns or anomalies. I’ve already made a big discovery.
Turns out all of the monster’s victims have had body parts surgically removed.
The first one a kidney, the second a finger…
[panting] Wednesday, I don’t feel…

Third a gall bladder.
And the bearded man from the meeting house, two toes.
Do you understand what this means? These murders aren’t mindless.
He’s collecting trophies like a seasoned serial killer. It’s impressive, actually.
♪ …flamantes riachuelos ♪
♪ Sonrientes… ♪
[weary tap]
Fetch the smelling salts.
Again.
♪ Ruiseñores, tenores que cantan… ♪
[Thornhill] While most plants reward their pollinators with sweet nectar, many carnivorous varieties
turn to sexual trickery or deception.
[song trails off]
[Xavier grunts]
I tweaked my back fencing.
[Thornhill] The orchid produces a pheromone that mimics a female insect, luring the males in.
Now, once the plant is pollinated, what do the male insects get in exchange?
Nada. Just like all the guys at the Rave’N.
[students laugh]
Okay, okay. I know you’re all excited about Saturday, which is why I haven’t assigned any homework.
[scattered cheers]
Yes!
But I do still need volunteers for the decorating committee.
Anyone interested, come and see me up here.
[Xavier] You’re not gonna volunteer?
Aren’t you pumped about disco balls and spiked punch?
There’s even a DJ. MC Blood Suckaz.
I’d rather stick needles in my eyes.
[chuckles drily]
I’ll probably do that anyway.
Or you could invite someone and have a little fun.
[Xavier grunts]
[birds warbling]
We need to do this.
Xavier didn’t get those scratches from fencing.
He’s hiding something.
[suspenseful music playing]
I suppose every artist needs a muse.
Xavier, you just became that much more interesting.
Wednesday.
Xavier.
Hello.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
I just saw you come out this way.
What is this place?

It’s kind of my private art studio.
I cleared it out, fixed it up, so Weems let me use it.
How very entrepreneurial. I would love to see inside.
Why don’t you give me a tour?
Not right now. It’s a total mess.
I shadowed a crime scene photographer last summer.
I’m not easily fazed.
Maybe another time. Why were you looking for me?
I wanted to go over Ms. Thornhill’s homework assignment.
She didn’t give us homework.
Remember?
Why are you really out here?
Is this about a certain dance that makes you want to poke needles into your eyes, perhaps?
I’m all ears.
[Wednesday] Sometimes intentions melt in the face of unexpected opportunity.
If this was my chance to get up close and personal with a potential serial killer, how could I refuse?
Are you really going to make me ask?
Oh, absolutely.
[weary sigh]
[flatly] Would you…
Would…
Would you possibly consider going to the Rave’N dance with a certain…
Would… Would you go to the dance with me?
[chuckles]
Yes, Wednesday, I would love to go to the dance with you.
I thought you’d never ask.
[gritting teeth] Neither did I.
[squeals] Oh my God! Wednesday Addams is going to the Rave’N.
My whole world is tilted!
You know what you need?
A bullet to the head?

A dress.
I already have one.
Not the one you showed up here in!
That thing was a fashion emergency not even lightning could resuscitate.
Thing, back me up here.
You need something that screams, “First date. Stand back, bitches! I have arrived!”
And I know just the place!
What kind of dystopian hellscape is this?
[dolorous music playing]
[Enid] Our first roomie shopping spree!
The dance committee’s suggesting all white to match the theme, but that’s not gonna fly with us.
I have more pressing business than to worry about a dress for a dance I don’t want to attend.
But I thought we were bonding.
[students laughing]
I feel I’ll only slow you down.
You’re a gazelle. I’m a wounded fawn.

Cut me loose and go run with the pack.
Are you sure?
I’m going to see Galpin. I’m not stop…
[grandiose, elegant music playing]
[door chimes ring]
Hi, Wednesday.
That dress will certainly turn some heads.
Are you collecting more exotic trinkets for your office?
Those are souvenirs from my travels.
That’s how I step outside of my comfort zone.
Speaking of which, are you going to the Rave’N this weekend?
I’m not required to answer your questions out in the wild, am I?
I look forward to talking about it at our next session.
We both know that there’s a monster out there.
If we’re going to stop it, I think it’s time we put our differences aside and work together.
And this is your stake for me to deal you in?
[Galpin sighs]
I’m sorry, you gotta do better than that. You got some nice detail though.
I didn’t draw it.
I need to know who did.
Unless we’re exchanging intel, I’m not at liberty to say.
Why would I share information about an ongoing murder investigation with a high school kid?
Because I go to Nevermore and you don’t.
Don’t you want eyes and ears behind those ivy-covered walls?
Listen, Velma, why don’t you and the Scooby gang stick to your homework and leave investigating to
the professionals.
[phone ringing]
What?
[woman] Mayor Walker’s on line two.
He’s looking for an update.
Hey, Addams.
Let me see that sketch again.
The person who drew this, that your suspect?
When you bring me some concrete evidence, maybe we’ll talk.
Yes, Mayor. Everything’s going splendidly.
[student] My spiky little sea urchin.
That’s horrible.
That’s actually her singing.
[chatter subsides]
Is it okay if I talk to Enid?
[Enid] Don’t worry. I can handle him.
Thanks.
I’m…
Lucas Walker, mayor’s son.
Recently split from cheer captain, Chrissy Smothers.

Cute brunette who needs to rethink her spray tan.
That’s kinda scary.
I have a nose for gossip and I follow half your grade on TikTok.
Oh yeah, and my roommate kicked your butt… twice.
Wednesday Addams is your roommate?
Sure is.
I know this isn’t a random encounter.
So, why are you sitting here, Lucas Walker?
You must want something.
I’ve got a friend who works at Hawte Kewture.
She overheard you’re on the hunt for a date to the Rave’N.
Maybe we can help each other out.
Don’t want to ask what trouble you’re in now.
Nothing I can’t handle.
Your father’s in particularly frustrating form today. Avoid.

Yeah, welcome to my world.
You guys have the Rave’N this weekend, right?
It was all the buzz at the Weathervane today.
I must be the only one not obsessed with this stupid dance.
So, you’re not going?
Actually, I was forced to ask someone as an act of self-preservation.
Sure, that happens, I guess.
So, who is it?
[restrained, poignant music playing]
Xavier.
Got it.
Hope you two have fun.
I’m not sure why you’re upset.
That’s kind of the problem.
I mean, call me crazy, Wednesday, but you keep giving me these signals.
It’s not my fault I can’t interpret your emotional Morse code.

Then let me spell it out.
I thought we liked each other, but then you pull something like this, and I have no idea where I
stand.
Am I in the “more-than-friend zone” or just a pawn in some game you’re playing?
I’m just dealing with a lot right now.
I need to prioritize.
Thanks for clearing that up.
I guess, give me a call if I ever move up your to-do list.
[forcefully] Not one word.
[bees buzzing]
Enid wouldn’t let me keep this in our dorm.
No worries. Mi colmena es su colmena.
I assume this is the creature that’s been rampaging in the woods.
You’ve heard about it before?
Rumors. Mr. Fitts banned me from bug-hunting until further notice.
Claimed a bear was on the loose, which I knew was a lie.

Didn’t match their hibernation schedules.
Speaking of monsters with sharp claws, could you give this to your roomie?
Put in a good word for me?
I hear she’s still sans date for the Rave’N.
Eugene.
I know the chances of her asking me are next to zero, but I don’t care.
I’ll keep putting myself out there until Enid finally… sees me.
And if she never does?
She will.
I’m playing the long game.
My moms say people will appreciate me when I’m older.
They’re probably just trying to make me feel better, but…
Listen, people like me and you, we’re different.
We’re original thinkers, intrepid outliers in this vast cesspool of adolescence.
We don’t need these inane rites of passage to validate who we are.

So you’re not going to the Rave’N either?
Actually, I am.
With Xavier.
I see.
It’s not like I like Xavier.
I just have ulterior motives.
Sketches are the closest thing I have to a lead to try and stop this thing.
[Eugene] That circle…
I think I know where that is.
Show me.
[eerie music playing]
[Wednesday] It’s definitely a match.
What were you doing out here?
Collecting specimens.
This place is ground zero for horny gypsy moths.
You think it’s in there?

Only one way to find out.
[eerie music continues]
I’m not a huge fan of enclosed spaces.
I’m claustrophobic.
If you hear me screaming bloody murder, there’s a good chance I’m just enjoying myself.
[Eugene sighs]
[sighs]
[Wednesday] This is definitely its lair.
[Eugene] Are those human?
No, I think it’s got a taste for venison.
Check this out.
Yahtzee.
What is that?
Concrete proof.
All right, I won’t be long.
I just need to find something to match against the claw’s DNA.
[tense coda plays]
What are you doing?
How do you know what the monster looks like?
Or are these all just self-portraits?
[scoffs] What, you think it’s me? I saved your life.
So did the monster. Or was that you the night Rowan was killed?
You so are out of line now.
I’m trying to uncover the truth.
And your art seems to have a recurring motif.
Yeah.
This creature’s been haunting my dreams for weeks.
I try to block it out, but I can’t. So I just… come in here and paint it.
When I was painting this one, claws reached out and took a swipe at me.
That’s how I got these.
I thought you were able to control your ability.
Not when it comes to this.
Maybe it’s your guilty conscience.
I told you I’m not the monster, okay?
You just happened to draw pictures of it, down to the location of its lair in the woods?
Those are some pretty vivid dreams.
You were in here.
Before, when I caught you outside.
That’s the only reason you asked me to the Rave’N?
[scoffs] To try and cover.
You are unbelievable.
It’s nothing personal.
No, it never is with you, is it?
I mean, do you even care about anyone or anything at all, Wednesday?

Get out!
Yeah, I know Inez is usually three sheets to the wind, but she keeps calling the mayor and she’s BS-
ing that there’s lights on at the old Gates place.
So do a drive-by, make sure there’s no squatters.
That’s the claw of the monster and that’s a dried blood sample from a potential suspect.
He used it to dab scratches on his neck.
Run the DNA test and see if they match.
I’m sorry, do I work for you?
You asked for concrete evidence. That’s it.
Where’d you get this?
And who’s the suspect?
Run the test first, then I’ll explain everything.
I’m not playing games, Addams.
Neither am I, Sheriff.
Bernice, bring me a DNA authorization form, please.
Hmm.
[Wednesday] Why so glum?
Saw Enid at lunch. Asked if she got my honey.
It’s not like I didn’t warn you.
Since neither you nor I have a date to the dance…
We should go together!
What?
No, I was going to suggest we stake out the cave and identify the monster.
Whoever it may be.
So… I hear you might be free tomorrow night after all.
[Xavier chuckles]
[customer] Thank you.
[espresso machine whirring]
[bell dings]
[upbeat pop music playing]
[Thornhill] Okay, have fun with it!
You look gorgeous!

So gorgeous!
Welcome to this year’s Rave’N!
Oh, beautiful! What a nice top!
Have a dance for me!
[upbeat pop music playing]
Welcome to the Rave’N.
Well, here’s to a night they’ll never forget.
Careful what you wish for.
[Thornhill] You were a Nevermore student once.
Don’t you remember being full of hope and excitement about the Rave’N?
All I remember is disappointment.
The boy I asked turned me down for another girl.
Morticia Frump, in fact.
Wednesday’s mother?
Oh, make sure nobody spikes the punch.

We can’t afford a single misstep tonight.
[knocking at door]
I’m coming, Eugene!
Hey, did you grab any extra batteries for the flash…
Tyler.
I got your invite.
Guessing you had Thing drop it in the tip jar?
Good guess.
After our last conversation, I wasn’t sure I’d even get to speak to you again, but…
Well, your note was so genuine and… sweet.
Totally took me by surprise.
Me too.
Well, now that I’m here, I’m glad I came.
You need a few minutes?
Genuine and sweet? How could you do this to me?
[frustrated sigh]
[Thing snaps twice]
[grandiose, elegant music playing]
How’d you pay for it?
Five-finger discount, of course.
Thing, don’t look.
[darkly grandiose music playing]
Wow, you look…
Unrecognizable? Ridiculous?
A classic example of female objectification for the male gaze?
Amazing.
I mean it, Wednesday. You look beautiful.
Eugene?
Wednesday, what’s going on?
[pop music playing faintly]
What happened to staking out the cave?

Sure, I get it. Guess I’ll check out the woods myself.
Don’t go alone.
It’s too dangerous. Stand down.
We’ll go together tomorrow night, understood?
Staking out a cave?
A Hummer never shies away from danger.
[“The Beginning” by Magdalena Bay playing]
♪ No hero nor a villain inside ♪
♪ Now, easy living, it sets you free… ♪
Is that an abominable snowman?
Oh my God! You can’t say that, it’s offensive!
The correct name is Yeti.
Oh, sorry. Do any go here?
Not anymore. They’ve been extinct since the 1950s.
Our science teacher Ms. Thornhill chaired the dance committee this year.
She wanted the Rave’N to feel relevant.

So our theme is climate crisis meets extinction event.
But in a fun way!
Okay, the theme of our last dance was Hawaiian nights.
Yeti-tini?
Yeah…
[Lucas gasps]
[gasps]
Oh my God, I’m so sorry! Let me fix that!
Enid?
I thought that was you.
Is that your date?
Yes, and he’s having the best time with me.
We are both loving this dance… together.
Sweet.
Does your mood have to do with a certain pig-tailed goth girl?

She’s not here.
We are.
You’re right. I’m sorry.
I do really like being here with you, so…
I appreciate the last-minute invitation.
No more talking about Wednesday Addams.
Deal?
Yo, check it out.
[pop song playing]
Wednesday totally busted out of her cocoon.
Like a death’s-head moth.
Do you see Bianca’s face?
She’s not going to be happy.
Wednesday Addams. What a lovely surprise.
Ms. Thornhill.
This is Tyler…
Galpin.
Uh, yeah. Double-cap, no foam, two pumps of sugar-free vanilla.
[chuckles] It’s a small town. It’s hard to keep secrets.
I’m gonna go get us some drinks.
♪ Been waiting all my life For someone like you ♪
♪ I been waiting all my life For someone like you ♪
OMG! I love the look!
Interesting choice of date though.
I could say the same.
It’s not what it looks like.
Good, because that pilgrim already has two strikes in my book.
Lucas is trying to make his ex jealous.
I’m trying to make Ajax jealous.
It’s a win-win.
Wednesday, I come in peace.

That’s a shame. I brought my pocket mace.
The medieval kind.
♪ I’ve been waiting all my life For someone like you ♪
♪ I’ve been waiting all my life For someone like you ♪
Can’t believe you brought him.
Why are you bringing this up?
As if this dance weren’t tedious enough.
You don’t know what he did to me.
Enlighten me.
I’m so sorry about your pants.
Are those the playoffs? Who’s winning, the Penguins or the Ducks?
You follow pro hockey?
Lifelong Sharks fan.
I grew up with older brothers.
It was like, “Watch hockey or we’ll go all Tang Lung on you.”
You mean Tang Lung from Way of the Dragon?

Only the best kung fu movie ever made!
You are different!
You up for getting down?
Yeah.
[insects chirruping]
Eugene Ottinger.
2100 hours.
No movement at the cave.
No sign of the target.
[grasshopper chirrs]
Although…
I just heard a rare club-horned grasshopper.
[pop music playing faintly in distance]
Was it the thin mountain air or the Yeti-tinis that got to you?
Xavier told me what you did last year.

How you and your friends assaulted him and destroyed his mural on Outreach Day.
I guess that was inevitable.
Look, I… I wish I could say that it was an accident, or that it wasn’t half as bad as it sounds, but I’d be
lying.
And he could have made things a lot worse for me, but he didn’t.
Why’d you do it?
I mean, I could give you a million excuses, but… the truth is I’m still trying to figure that out.
I got sent away to this boot camp and realized that’s not the version of myself I want to be.
A bitter townie that blames everyone else for the shitty hand he’s been dealt.
Look, I did a terrible thing, but I swear I’m not a terrible person.
Did you think I was going to judge you over some lousy prank?
I would have taken it further.
Like putting piranhas in a swimming pool?
I may have done a little digging on you after we met.
I’d do it again.
I knew there was a reason I liked you.

[“Goo Goo Muck” by The Cramps playing]
♪ When the sun goes down And the moon comes up ♪
♪ I turn into a teenage goo goo muck ♪
♪ Yeah, I cruise through the city And I roam the streets ♪
♪ Looking for something That is nice to eat ♪
♪ You better duck ♪
♪ When I show up ♪
♪ The goo goo muck ♪
♪ I’m the night headhunter Looking for some head ♪
♪ With a way-out body Underneath that head ♪
♪ Yeah, I’ll get you, baby With a little luck ♪
♪ ‘Cause I’m a teenage tiger And a goo goo muck ♪
♪ You better duck ♪
♪ When I show up ♪

Come on!
I’ll be right back.
[surf rock bridge continues]
Oh, hi.
♪ Yeah, the city is a jungle And I’m a beast ♪
♪ I want the most But I’ll take the least ♪
♪ ‘Cause I’m a goo goo muck tiger And a teenage beast ♪
Do me a favor.
♪ You better duck when I show up ♪
Take off your amulet and make me forget about her.
I can’t believe you’d ask me to do that.
You said no strings.
You broke up with me because you thought I was manipulating you with my siren song.
Now you want me to use it to help you get over another girl?
[clears throat]
[singer cawing, ululating]

[singer intoning gravely]
[song trails off]
[brake sets]
[boy] Let’s go.
Come on.
You got it? Take it.
Keep feedin’ it. Let’s go. Come on.
Move! Move!
I’ll do it.
I was thinking maybe this isn’t such a good idea.
I don’t want my dad to get any blowback, you know?
Dude, you’re the whole reason we’re doing this!
To get revenge on those freaks for nuking Crackstone’s fountain!
Don’t tell me you’ve gone soft like Tyler. Come on, let’s go.
[vehicle approaching]
Eugene Ottinger. 2242 hours.
Potential suspect has arrived at location.
Oh my God.
Whoever invented high heels clearly had a side hustle as a torturer.
As my dear mother always says, “Fire tests gold, suffering tests a woman.”
Speaking of suffering, where’s your date?
I didn’t see you and Xavier on the dance floor.
We had a little tiff.
About you, actually.
You don’t know what it’s like.
Being beautiful and popular?
Never knowing people’s true feelings.
If someone likes me for me.

What about your amulet?
It’s not foolproof.
It’s a mild prophylactic, so to speak.
That’s why Xavier broke up with me.
He could never fully trust me.
The worst part is I could never trust his feelings either.
I never knew if they were real or not.
You’re lucky.
Do tell.
You don’t care what people think of you.
Honestly, I wish I cared a little more.
[Wednesday sighs]
[panting]
[electro-pop music playing]

It’s time for the big finish.
Yo! Almost eleven o’clockity, so haul it out on the dance floor one last time before the Rave’N says
“Nevermore!”
[“Physical” by Dua Lipa playing]
♪ When I got you next to me ♪
♪ All night, I’ll riot with you ♪
♪ I know you got my back And you know I got you ♪
♪ So come on, come on ♪
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Let’s get physical ♪
♪ Lights out, follow the noise ♪
♪ Baby, keep on dancing Like you ain’t got a choice ♪
♪ So come on ♪
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Let’s get physical ♪
♪ Hold on just a little tighter ♪
♪ Come on, hold on Tell me if you’re ready ♪
♪ Baby, keep on dancing ♪
[faint, echoing opera music playing]
[pipe rumbling, gurgling]
[“La Mamma Morta” by Umberto Giordano playing]
[soprano singing majestically]
[students murmur]
[gasps]
[students screaming]
[screams]
Let’s go!
They couldn’t even spring for real pigs’ blood.
It’s only paint.

[eerie whooshing]
[high-pitched ringing]
Wednesday! Are you okay?
Eugene is in the woods. He’s in danger.
[students clamoring]
What the hell are you doing?
Texting my dad. He’s on his way.
Have you seen Wednesday? I lost her.
How should I know? She’s your date.
Let’s go.
That was crazy.
Come on. Get it.
Let’s go.
[Enid] You did this?
[sobs] I can’t believe I fell for your crap.

Enid, after Crackstone’s statue…
I thought you were different.
[malicious laughing]
I thought you liked me.
Wolf out!
Wolf out!
[bullies chanting] Wolf out!
[howls]
Get away from her!
Let’s go!
[melancholy music continues]
[door closes]
[car starts]
Are you okay?
I didn’t even want to go with him.
I wanted to go with you.

So why didn’t you ask me?
‘Cause you blew me off the other night and never told me why.
I was too embarrassed to tell you, but I… accidentally looked in the mirror and kind of stoned myself
with my snakes.
[claws rasp]
Whoa. We should, uh…
We should probably take it slow. Right?
Totally agree.
[Eugene panting]
[chilling, suspenseful music playing]
[creature huffing, snarling]
[Wednesday] Eugene!
Eugene!
[creature snarling, growling]
Eugene?
[creature growling]
Eugene?
Wednesday! Over here!
[grunts]
[bestial snarling]
Eugene?
[creature brays]
Eugene.
[Wednesday panting]
[solemn music playing]
Oh my God!
[music builds to climax]
Is he alive?
[music halts]

EP 05 (You Reap What You Woe)
[tense, enigmatic music playing]
[Wednesday] How well do we really know our parents?
Take my father.
I’ve always considered him an open book.
A man given to misguided schemes and exaggerated displays of affection.
But when he was a student, he was accused of a murder that took place right up there.
Which leads me to wonder…
[intense, unsettling music playing]
…what really happened that stormy night 32 years ago?
[screams]
[music swells]
I think he had a sword, and they certainly have issues.
I don’t like to tell tales, Sheriff Walker, but it’s all Morticia Frump’s fault.
They were fighting over her.

Tish…
I don’t know what to say, Gomez. Seeing you in handcuffs, accused of murder… I’ve never loved you
more.
Cara mia.
All right, that’s enough, Addams.
Let’s go.
Let’s move it out. Let’s get going.
[officer bangs on car]
[quirkily dreary music playing]
Ah, the fetid air of teenage angst.
These were the best years of our lives, were they not, Tish?
They certainly were, mi cariño.
I hope Wednesday’s happy to see us.
I left a dozen messages on her crystal ball. Still no reply.

Fret not, my plum-lipped cupid.
I’m sure she’s dying to see us.
[Gomez] Mmm.
[Pugsley] Come on, let’s go.
[bell tolls]
Nevermore was created as a safe haven for our children to learn and to grow, no matter who or
what they are.
[applause]
I realize most of you have heard about the unfortunate incident involving one of our students.
But I’m happy to report that Eugene is on the mend and is expected to make a full recovery.
So let’s focus on the positive and make this Parents’ Weekend our very best yet.
[Wednesday] On the mend?
Try in a coma.
Have you been to see him?
You’re his friend.
I’m the reason he’s in the hospital.

That is not your fault, okay?
The monster hasn’t attacked anyone in the past week.
Maybe you finally scared it off.
Or maybe it went into hiding to avoid this weekend.
[Morticia] Look at this. Some things never change.
[quirky music continuing]
I knew I should have worn my plague mask.
Would you look at my family?
[howling]
Talk about toxic pack mentality.
I give my mom 30 seconds before her judge-y claws come out.
[Enid sighs] Let’s get this over with.
There she is.
Oh, how we missed those accusing eyes and youthful sneer.
How are you, my little rain cloud?
I thought Thing was filling you in on my every move.

I uncovered your feeble subterfuge almost immediately.
So, how’s the little fella doing?
Does he still have all his fingers?
Relax. I haven’t snapped any of his digits.
Yet.
So tell us everything.
Since you’ve abandoned me here, I’ve been hunted, haunted… and the target of an attempted
murder.
Ah, Nevermore. I love you so.
Enid.
Oh, let me look at you.
One-one-thousand, two-one-thousand…
Have you not been waxing?
Three seconds. That’s a personal best.
[sniffing]
Are you feeling well? You’re looking a touch anemic.

Have you been eating enough red meat?
It’s good to see you too, Mom.
And you, Dad.
[somber, inquisitive music playing]
Not sure how much more of this family togetherness I can take.
Think you skipped where you apologize for acting like a jerk last weekend.
I’m sorry for what happened at the dance.
I shouldn’t have asked you to siren-song me like that.
Guessing your dad’s a no-show again this year?
Yeah.
I got a text this morning. You?
Gabrielle hasn’t shown her face since I started here.
Probably sunning herself somewhere in the Seychelles.
[woman] My darling daughter.
I made it.
Wouldn’t miss this for the world.
I guess you misjudged her.
[music builds ominously, fades away]
[gasps softly]
Our old yearbook.
I haven’t laid eyes on this in over 20 years.
Such good times we had, didn’t we, Larissa?
Some of us better than others.
Oh, don’t be so modest.
You always filled a room with your presence.
Like a stately sequoia tree.
And I guess that would make you the lumberjack.
[laughs] There’s that biting sense of humor that I always adored.
Do you remember when we did that duet for the Solstice Talent Show?
Your Judy Garland impression was a dead ringer.
Sounds positively suicidal.

Oh.
My picture’s gone.
Really? Well, that is odd.
May I borrow this for the weekend?
That way Gomez and I can take a little walk down memory lane.
Rawr.
[purrs playfully]
[Weems] All right.
Let’s get down to the matter at hand, shall we? Hmm?
Unfortunately, Wednesday’s assimilation has been rocky at best.
Because I refuse to embrace the culture of dishonesty and denial permeating this school.
Starting with the monster that killed Rowan and put Eugene in the ICU.
Although I do hear he’s on the mend.
We’ve always encouraged Wednesday to speak her mind.
Sometimes her sharp tongue can cut deep.

Apparently her therapist feels she hasn’t been very open to the process.
Their time together has not yielded the results we’d hoped.
I’m not a lab rat.
Dr. Kinbott and I have spoken, and we both agree it would be most beneficial for you all to attend a
family session this weekend.
No.
I thought that might be your reaction, but your parents can see the wisdom in it.
Um, not to side with Wednesday, but, um, we’re only here for the weekend.
Oh, come on.
What can it hurt? To be honest, I’ve always been a big fan of head-shrinking.
It’s not that kind of head-shrinking, mon chéri.
Well, that is disappointing.
But anything for our little girl.
Ah.
[quirkily dreary music playing]
Yeah.
You make sure they search that cave for any sign of that creature.
No stone unturned. They bag and tag everything, all right?
And then follow up with the lab. I want the DNA results on that claw.
We already got one kid in the ICU, a bunch of people in the morgue.
I don’t want any more.
All right.
Son of a bitch.
What’s wrong?
Just hard to stomach a murderer wandering around town scot-free.
At least they care enough about Wednesday to go to therapy with her.
Tyler, come on. We’ve been through this.
I’m just… I’m not comfortable dredging up the family past with some complete stranger.
Think it’s easy for me to sit there and talk about my crap?
[phone ringing]
I’ve got a lot on my plate now, bud.

You got the results already?
All right. Tape off the scene. I’ll be right there.
Dad. You okay? What’s going on?
[sighs]
You know Reggie, the local coroner?
He just blew his brains out.
[ticking]
So, who wants to start?
Maybe we can discuss what it’s like having Wednesday away from home?
I mean, for me…
[hesitating]…it’s been hard not having Wednesday around.
I never thought I’d miss being waterboarded so much.
Morticia, Gomez.
How have you been coping?
It’s been torture for us too.

[Gomez] Fortunately, my brother Fester’s rack fits two people.
[Morticia] Nothing like a good stretch to bring out the best in each other.
Querida mía.
[kissing passionately]
Um…
[long, protracted smooch]
Enough!
I think it’s high time my parents faced the music.
It seems they’ve been lying to me.
Keeping secrets.
Murderous secrets that need to be addressed.
Who was Garrett Gates, and why are you accused of murdering him?
Whoa.
Those charges were dropped. Your father is an innocent man.
Local sheriff doesn’t seem too convinced.

Wednesday, stop.
This is neither the time nor the place.
Actually, this is exactly the place.
These sessions are…
Doctor. This does not concern you.
And I refuse to debate a decades-old witch-hunt with you right now.
I…
Darling, maybe we should…
No. This session is over.
Have it your way, Mother.
Wednes… Wednesday?
If you refuse to tell me the truth, I’ll just have to excavate it myself.
You…
Thanks for the candy.
Actually, that’s potpourri.

Why don’t you take the bowl?
[cuckoo clock chirps]
What were you thinking?
How could you ambush your father like that? Wednesday.
How could I? You insisted I go to this school.
Did you really think I wouldn’t find out your secret?
You don’t know the full story. Your father did nothing wrong.
I’ll be the judge of that.
Potpourri?
[car door closes]
Mmm!
How did you find me?
MorningSong community misses you.
I miss you.
And by community, you mean cult?
We are a personal development movement that helps people take control of their lives.
After you take control of their bank accounts.
I haven’t come here to fight, Brandy Jane.
My name is Bianca.
New name. New life.
It’s time to come home.
That place was never my home.
Gideon said you’d resist.
Don’t say that man’s name to me.
You think he’d give a damn about some single mom and her daughter if we weren’t sirens?
[chuckles]
That is no way to talk about your stepfather.
You actually married him.
He wants you to come home, so that we can be a real family.
Hard pass.
He’s already got one siren to do his bidding.

Goodbye, Ma.
I don’t want to see more MorningSong bracelets anywhere near this town.
My siren song is drying up.
[distressing music playing]
Recruitment numbers are down, and the wrong people are starting to ask questions.
This wasn’t a request.
And if I refuse?
Then everybody here is gonna know how you siren’d your way into Nevermore.
I finally make something of myself and you want to destroy it.
You haven’t made squat, Bianca.
[laughs maliciously]
You’re just scamming a higher class of people, but they are not your friends.
Sooner or later they will see through you.
A siren can never change her scales.
You got until the end of the weekend to say your goodbyes.
[music builds, fades away]

[Wednesday sighs]
I harvested hive number three.
[monitor beeps]
The bees miss you, Eugene.
[labored breathing]
We all do.
[melancholy music playing]
[Thing tapping]
Thanks for keeping an eye on him.
Any updates?
He didn’t deserve this.
I should be in that bed.
Why did you go without me?
[gasps]
Didn’t mean to startle you, dear.

You must be Wednesday.
Eugene’s moms. Sue and Janet.
You were all he could talk about lately.
He was so happy you joined the Hummers.
Eugene hasn’t had the easiest time fitting in at Nevermore.
[Sue] He was so excited to finally make a real friend.
I brought him some honey.
Eugene loves those dang bees like they’re his kids.
His fuzzy-buzzy babies.
[Sue] He’s gonna be okay, right?
I should go.
[poignant, melancholy music playing]
First time someone’s killed themselves in the morgue.
Guys don’t know what to do with the body.
What do you got?

Gun was legal and registered in his name.
Colt .45.
Janitor said he kept it in his desk.
I just saw Doc last week.
He was planning a cruise with his wife. He seemed excited all about retirement.
Guess you never know what’s going through someone’s mind.
A bullet, apparently. We got security footage?
Nope. Camera was obscured. Black bubblegum.
I got them scrubbing through video to find out how long it’s been there.
[Galpin] Black bubblegum.
You don’t say…
The suicide note says he felt guilty about an old case.
Says he covered it up, faked the coroner’s report, and has been living with guilt for all these years.
[Galpin] What case?
Uh, Garrett Gates.

Garrett Gates. You gotta be kidding me.
You heard of it?
I’ve been waiting 30 years to put away his murderer.
You know who did it?
There’s only ever been one suspect.
I always thought they were covering up the truth.
Now I got my proof.
[low, menacing music building]
[inquisitive music playing]
[birds cawing]
[Morticia] Mmm. I am famished.
You’re not hungry, darling?
My appetite eludes me, Mother.
The same way the truth eludes you.
We need to tell her.
She’ll never believe us.

We must stay strong.
And hope that something more morbid comes along to distract her.
So are you going to make me ask?
Ajax and I haven’t defined our relationship yet.
I’m not talking about boys.
Have you wolfed out yet?
No.
Well, that is a disappointment.
That’s me.
A huge disappointment.
Can I ask what this is about, Sheriff?
What’s happening, Ms. Thornhill?
I have no idea.
[Galpin] Gomez Addams.

How can I help you, Sheriff?
You’re under arrest for the murder of Garrett Gates.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Dad?
You have the right to an attorney.
If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed for you.
[grunts]
[handcuffs unlocking]
[Thing sliding against pane]
My little tormenta, how’s your mother?
Devastated. She hates you in orange.
I caught her laying a rose on a grave earlier today.
The headstone read “Garrett Gates.”
The very boy you’ve been arrested for murdering.

Care to explain?
Garrett was infatuated with your mother.
He mistook her kindness for interest.
His infatuation turned into obsession, and he started stalking her.
Why didn’t you call the police?
We tried.
But his family were the oldest and richest in Jericho.
No one believed us.
Garrett’s father, an outcast-hating bigot, was furious that your mother had accused his only son.
It all came to a head the night of the Rave’N Dance.
Your mother and I stepped out to catch our breath.
[intense, sweeping music playing]
Addams!
And that’s when I saw him.

He had broken into the school.
His twisted love for your mother had made him insane.
His eyes bore into me, brimming with murderous intent.
Go. Get out of here. He won’t hurt me.
Garrett, no!
Garrett, stop!
[bold, combative music playing]
[both grunting]
[sword clinking]
My life flashed before my eyes.
Driven by jealousy and hate, Garrett was unstoppable.
[grunts]
[Gomez straining]
When I saw the sword,
my survival instinct kicked in.
[Garrett grunts]
It was a terrible accident.
[wet squelch]
[Weems shrieks]
[Wednesday] If I’m being objective, his confession sounds entirely plausible, delivered with the
perfect degree of sincerity.
Perhaps my father is exactly what he says.
Thank you for being honest with me.
But then there’s the matter of his tells.
The way he smooths his mustache.
The way he delivers a comforting wink.
I’ve been playing Russian roulette with him since I was 12.
I know them well.
I’m sorry I wasn’t a better father.
Could we please do without the overt display of emotion?
I know they make you feel uncomfortable.
How many fathers hand their daughter a fencing blade when she’s five?
Your saber strokes were an essay in perfection.
Or teach her how to swim with sharks?
They found you as cold-blooded as I do.
The right way to flay a rattlesnake?
They really do taste like chicken when prepared properly.
The point is, you taught me how to be strong and independent.
How to navigate myself in a world full of treachery and prejudice.
You are the reason I understand how imperative it is that I never lose sight of myself.
[lachrymose music playing]
So as far as fatherhood goes, I would say you’ve been more than adequate.
Gracias, Wednesday.
[Wednesday] We need to talk.
How the hell did you get in?
Bernice? Bernice!
Bernice may or may not have received a call that her tabby cat Swifty is being held for ransom.
My father did not kill Garrett Gates.
Well, I have his signed confession, and he identified the saber he used to do it.
Both of which I’m about to deliver to the District Attorney.
Don’t you find the timing convenient?
The coroner kills himself out of remorse for a decades-old murder case the very weekend my father,
your prime suspect, deigns to return to town.
All I see is a guilty man who’s finally going to pay for his crime.
And cuffing him myself, oh, that was the icing on the cake.
How are you failing to see that someone is desperately trying to derail my investigation?
I found the monster’s cave, and I gave you the DNA evidence.
Did you even bother to test it?
This may come as a shock, but the world doesn’t revolve around you.
Here. DNA results.
No match. Inconclusive.
So you truly believe this is all some coincidence?
Whoever hurt Eugene also murdered the coroner.

Unfortunately, someone sabotaged the security camera in the morgue, so we don’t know what
happened.
They stuck bubblegum on the lens.
Black bubblegum.
Maybe I should run DNA on that?
Someone is trying to throw me off my game. This is all a distraction.
No, this is about justice being served.
Garrett Gates’s family deserves closure, even if none of them are around to take comfort in it.
What happened to them?
His mother hung herself in the backyard.
His father drank himself to an early grave.
Even his little sister didn’t escape.
She was orphaned, sent overseas, ended up drowning.
Every last one of them’s gone.
Your father doesn’t just have Garrett’s blood on his hands, he’s got the whole damn family’s.
[dramatic music builds, trails off]

[pack growling playfully]
Here. I brought you a gift.
That’s so sweet. You didn’t have to get me anything.
I know, but I thought we got off on the wrong foot this weekend.
I just want you to know that all I want is the very best for you.
[gentle, perturbing music playing]
What are these?
Brochures.
For summer camp.
These aren’t just ordinary summer camps.
These are camps for lycanthropy conversion.
Oh, no need to be dramatic, Enid.
You want to send me to conversion therapy for werewolves?
It worked wonders for your cousin Lucille, didn’t it?
Seven weeks in the Balkan countryside and she was howling at the moon in no time.
As it should be.
Don’t you want to wolf out and finally be normal, honey?
Go away.
You forgot your fishing gear.
Stop trying to be nice.
It doesn’t suit you.
Father packed your favorite bait.
[Pugsley] What’ll happen to him now?
Well, he’s confessed, so there won’t be a trial.
After he’s sentenced, he’ll be sent to a state penitentiary, where he’ll lose his mind being separated
from Mother.
Did you know they haven’t spent a night apart since they tied the knot?
I always thought I’d be the first one in the family behind bars.
Lurch and I had a bet going.
Come on. Let’s see if the fish are biting.
[grenade pin clicks]
[plop]
[Wednesday] That’s quite a catch.
I’m gonna miss him, Wednesday.
It’s not over yet. He’s innocent.
Well, if anyone can figure out who really committed the crime… it’s you.
You have to find out the truth and free Dad.
Well, until that happens, we both know Mother will be falling apart.
Which means we have to be strong.
And by “we,” I mean you.
Now, give me one of those.
[plop]
Where is Mother anyway?
She said she wanted to be alone.
Somewhere where no one would find her.
[Wednesday] Hello, Mother.

Hello, Wednesday.
So you’re a Nightshade.
That didn’t take long.
Actually, I rejected them.
Why? Because I was a member?
I’ll never live up to your legacy here, so why try?
I win the Poe Cup, you claimed it four times.
I join the fencing team, you captained it.
Why would you send me somewhere I could only ever exist in your shadow?
It’s not a competition, Wednesday.
Everything is a competition, Mother.
But mostly I rejected them because they’re a trivial social club.
We used to be so much more.
Our mission was to protect outcasts from harm and bigotry.
In fact, the group was started by an ancestor of your father’s from Mexico.
One of the first settlers in America.

Goody.
I saw her painting at Pilgrim World.
Oh.
How ironic, since she was the one who killed Joseph Crackstone.
The Nightshades were her secret, but deadly, answer to his oppression.
I know why you’ve come here, Wednesday.
So go on. Ask.
Father didn’t kill Garrett Gates, did he?
No.
[thunderclaps]
[swords clanging]
[Morticia] By the time I made it up the stairs, I found your father fighting for his life. It was terrifying.
Garrett, no!
[grunts]
[panting]
[both grunting, struggling]
[Morticia] Garrett!
Garrett, stop!
Leave him alone!
I’ll never forget the way he looked at me.
He was even foaming at the mouth.
It was like I was staring into the eyes of a rabid beast.
[grandly menacing music playing]
[wet squelch]
[shuddering]
[blade rasps]
Oh, no.
[thud]
[Weems screams]
[Morticia] It was only when I heard the scream that I realized what I’d done.
Your father was so… calm and brave.

[dramatic music swells]
Tish, you need to leave right now.
Go to your room and lock the door.
You were never here.
[erratic panting]
You understand me?
Morticia?
Put this back on the table.
Go.
Okay.
Your father took the blame in order to protect me.
I was so grateful when they cleared him of any wrongdoing.
But I knew, someday this would come back to haunt us.
You said Garrett was foaming at the mouth.
His eyes didn’t look human.

I’ve never seen someone so blinded by rage.
Maybe it wasn’t rage at all.
Foaming saliva, dilated pupils, mental confusion.
What are those all textbook symptoms of?
[delicate, inquisitive music playing]
[Morticia gasps]
But how can that be?
There’s only one way to find out.
[sighs dreamily] This reminds me of when you got your first grave-digging kit.
You were so happy, you nearly smiled.
Are you sure you don’t want to join?
Uh… mm… No, that’s okay, darling.
I don’t want to spoil your fun.
[scoffs, grunts]
[hollow thud]
[banging]
Moment of truth.
[inhaling fondly]
Hello, Garrett.
I was right.
[Santiago] Well, well, what do we have here?
Guess there’s gonna be an Addams family reunion in lockup tonight.
You’re both under arrest.
[Galpin] Get comfortable. You can post bail in the morning.
[Morticia and Gomez kissing passionately]
Not even the long arm of the law could keep us apart.
At least we’ll have one last night together.
Yes.
I’ve seen jackals with more self-control than you two.
Neither one of you are strong enough to serve hard time.
And thanks to me, you won’t have to.

I knew our little jailbird would have an escape plan.
It’s a souvenir from our outing. I borrowed it from Garrett.
He died from nightshade poisoning.
The remarkable preservation of soft tissue and blue tint confirms it.
Which means Garrett was dying…
Before you stabbed him.
[gasps]
You look even more ravishing as an innocent woman.
Yes.
For once, could you two get off of each other and focus.
[eerie whooshing]
Prove to me you’re still worthy to be called my son!
Kill all those outcasts!
Sneak into that dance and spike the punch bowl.
[thunder crashes]
Addams!
[shattering reverberates]
[Morticia] Wednesday.
Did you have a vision?
What happened?
What did you see?
The night Garrett died, he had a vial of nightshade poison that broke in his pocket.
He wasn’t just trying to kill father.
He was going to use the nightshade poison to murder the entire school.
Thank you for seeing us at such short notice, Mr. Mayor.
Yes, well, veiled threats have that effect.
Garrett Gates wasn’t killed by a stab wound.
[Walker clears throat]
That blue sheen is a telltale sign of nightshade poisoning.
But you already knew that, didn’t you?

Because back when you were sheriff, you were in charge and covered it up.
[inhales, exhales deeply]
Ansel Gates hated outcasts and Nevermore.
He claimed the land the school was built on was stolen from his family over 200 years ago.
Garrett went there that night to spike the punch and kill all the kids at that dance.
Ansel confessed the whole thing to me in a drunken stupor. It was his idea.
Why did you instruct Dr. Anwar to falsify the autopsy report?
You knew the truth about how he really died.
Listen, my job was to keep the peace.
If there had been a trial, Jericho’s and Nevermore’s reputations would have been trashed.
I think the only reputation you were worried about ruining was your own.
I remember Garrett bragging to me that his father had the sheriff in his pocket.
One year later, you get elected mayor. Hmm.
No doubt with the full support of Ansel Gates.
I resent your implication.

What I resent is that you could have prevented Garrett’s death if you had done your job when I
lodged my complaint about him stalking me.
But no.
Men like you have no idea what it feels like not to be believed.
[sighs]
What do you want?
[quirky, intense music playing]
All charges dropped.
My father will be released immediately with a full and unequivocal apology from the sheriff’s office.
[emphatically] Do we have a deal?
You were very impressive in there.
When did your visions begin?
A few months ago.
Hmm.
Before I left for Nevermore.
I’m sorry you didn’t feel you could tell me.

I know we’ve had our difficulties lately.
Navigating the treacherous shoals of our mother-daughter relationship.
But I’m always here for you, Wednesday.
Always.
Sometimes when I touch someone or something, I get these very violent glimpses from the past or
future.
I don’t know how to control it.
Our psychic ability resides on the spectrum of who we are.
Given my disposition, my visions tend to be positive.
That makes me a Dove.
And for someone like me? Who sees the world through a darker lens?
You’re a Raven.
Your visions are more potent, more powerful.
But without the proper training, they can lead to madness.
If I could help you, I would, Wednesday.
But we’re not trained by the living.

Somebody from our bloodline reaches out from beyond to help us when we’re ready.
Goody has.
I’ve seen her before.
Be careful, Wednesday.
Goody was a witch of great strength, but her vengeance pushed her too far, and even she couldn’t
save herself.
Sorry about all this.
I don’t hold grudges, only blood debts.
So, your daughter and my son have become… close.
I pity any boy who gets caught in her viper’s gaze, but he must be a good egg.
She wouldn’t tolerate anything less.
He has his mom to thank for that.
[Pugsley] Dad!
I missed you so much, Dad. I missed you so much.
Querida.
[Morticia] Mi amor.
[Wednesday] Don’t crowd me.
[curious music playing]
[bell tolls]
So, it’s decided. Six weeks at Camp Howl.
You’ll need to pick which activity…
No, I don’t.
Because I’m not going.
Not this summer. Not ever.
If I’m meant to wolf out, then I’m going to do it on my own timeline and not yours.
I hope that one day, you’ll finally accept me for who I am.
[somber, emotional music playing]
I’m proud of you, kiddo.
You do you.
I’ll come back and help you under one condition.
Wait until the school year is over.
How do I know you won’t run away again?

Because we both have too much to lose.
But after this, you and MorningSong are out of my life… forever.
[Wednesday] Don’t push it.
Well, at least we can’t say Parents’ Weekend wasn’t a nail-biter.
I knew you didn’t have what it takes to be a murderer.
As much as that stings, gracias, my little death trap.
Mwah.
As I leafed through the pages of this yearbook, I was reminded of all the wonderful times I had here.
But they were just that.
Mine.
You have your own path to blaze.
I don’t want to be a stranger in your life, darling.
If you need me for anything, anything at all, I’m only a crystal ball away.
Thank you, Mother.
[wry exhale]
[air kisses]
[dramatic, resolute music playing]
I knew it.
I did witness Rowan getting murdered that night.
Excuse me?
When Rowan appeared the next morning, it was you.
When you participated in the talent show, not only did you impersonate Judy Garland, you became
her.
You’re a shape-shifter.
[scoffs]
That’s a fascinating theory.
I’m curious to find out how Sheriff Galpin feels when I tell him.
You won’t tell a soul, Miss Addams.
And it wouldn’t matter much if you did.
Rowan’s father already knows what happened, and he fully supports my decision not to involve the
authorities.
Why would he agree to that?
Because Rowan was not in his right mind.
His telekinetic abilities were driving him mad and he attempted to murder you twice.
His tragic death allowed us to rectify the situation without casting the school or Rowan in an
unflattering light.
You and Mayor Walker are the same, aren’t you?
Burying bodies to cover your dirty secrets.
I did what I needed to do to shield this school from controversy and protect its students from harm.
Tell that to Eugene.
How are you protecting him?
[students clamoring, yelling]
What on earth?
[darkly menacing music playing]
EP 06 (Quid Pro Woe)

[ominous, suspenseful music playing]
[unearthly, indistinct whispering]
[Wednesday] In case you’re wondering, I don’t hold séances very often.
I can barely tolerate the living. Why would I want to commune with the dead?
But my mother told me Goody is the only one that can train me to control my psychic ability.
The sooner I master that, the sooner I crack this case.
[whispering continues]
[door creaks]
[wind whistles]
[music builds]
[music trails off]
[annoyed sigh]
Sorry.
I didn’t mean to interrupt your…
Uh, do I even want to know?
I was reaching into the black maw of death to contact a relative.

Feels very on-brand for you. You have a relative named Goody?
She was one of the original outcasts.
Been attempting to summon her, but she seems to be ignoring my entreaties.
Oh, you thought about using one of my scented candles?
The aroma of steak tartare is to die for.
[paper flutters]
Maybe Goody answered you after all.
I doubt she communicates in magazine cutouts.
[cryptic music playing]
[birdsong]
[branches snapping]
[Enid’s claws clatter]
You insisted on coming along.
I was fine on my own.

Seems like our wannabe Deep Throat is already here.
Ew.
What died?
Smells like childhood.
Come on.
Second thoughts. Why don’t I just stay out here?
You know, as a lookout.
[indistinct clattering]
[foreboding music continues]
[indistinct clattering]
Enid?
[person coughs]
Whoever you are, show yourself.
Try anything and you’ll lose limbs.

[all] Surprise!
[laughter]
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday, dear Wednesday ♪
I should have known you were behind this.
What part of “no party under the penalty of death” do you not understand?
I thought my cake design was pretty inspired.
The pink balloon was my little touch.
Why don’t you make a wish?
[Wednesday] Wait, it’s Latin.
Fire will rain… when I rise.
That’s not really a wish.
The first part of that was burned onto Nevermore’s lawn.
It can’t be a coincidence.
Wait, we’re never eating that cake, are we?
[eerie whooshing]
[low whispering] Crackstone is coming.
Crackstone is coming.
[disorienting music playing]
Goody.
You’re the Raven in my bloodline.
Wednesday.
I was told you could teach me how to control my ability.
There is no controlling a raging river.
You must learn to navigate it without drowning.
Time is not on our side.
To stop Crackstone, this place you must seek.
Do you always speak in riddles?
Do you always seek simple answers?

The path of a Raven is a solitary one.
You end up alone, unable to trust others, only seeing the darkness within them.
Is that supposed to scare me?
It should.
Careful, that’s my cold shoulder.
[Enid] Don’t blame Thing. The party was my idea.
Everyone deserves to be celebrated on their birthday.
I prefer to be vilified.
What happened? It looked like you were having a seizure.
I wasn’t that lucky.
Can I at least get some kudos for pulling one over on you?
The subterfuge was impressive.
[Thing thudding]
“May your 16th be as sour and misery-filled as your desire.”
“Your ever-doting mother and father.”

They asked Thing to hide it before they left on Parents’ Weekend.
Ew! That’s so gross.
I would’ve preferred live squirrels.
While we’re still accepting presents…
[twinkling, wondrous music playing]
Well, do you like it?
What is it exactly?
It’s a snood, silly.
I made it in your signature colors.
And you want to know what the best part is?
I have one too!
[gobsmacked silence]
We can wear them together to class.
Oh, Enid, this is far too unique to wear to something like class.
I suggest we wait for a more special occasion, like a funeral.

[softly] Oh.
You know, Lucas feels terrible about what happened at the dance.
Forgive my skepticism, given his latest act of vandalism.
He had nothing to do with burning those words onto your lawn.
He’s been grounded for the last week.
Fine.
He does his community service here, and we forget it ever happened.
Yes, well…
I’m in your debt, Larissa.
I don’t need your gratitude.
Just find the delinquents responsible. Perhaps start with Lucas’s cohorts.
Right after we track down whatever attacked the Ottinger boy.
Although all fingers would point to one of your own students.
Careful, Noble.
My charity has its limits.

In the crypt, you had another vision, didn’t you?
I didn’t realize we were back on speaking terms.
I showed up to your surprise party. I figured that would have been a hint.
What did you see?
Who said I was ready to speak with you?
Still think I’m the monster?
Haven’t ruled it out.
When you change your mind and you want my help, you know where to find me.
[mysterious music continues]
Where’d you get that?
The bracelet, where’d you get it?
Lucas. Nice to meet you.
Bianca.
I know.
Last week at the Weathervane, my dad said I had to get my act together.
After he left, this woman in the next booth told me about this self-help app, MorningSong.
Said it could help me refocus my life.
Usually I’d call BS on something like that, but for some reason…
You believed her.
Yeah, and she turned out to be right, so I signed up.
And they sent me this.
I guarantee MorningSong doesn’t give a damn about your well-being.
They’re only interested in your money.
Do yourself a favor. Delete that app.
The more you listen to them, the more they sink their claws into you.
How do you know?
I just do.
Which is why I’m warning the normie idiot who ruined my killer dress with his bullshit prank to not
get sucked into MorningSong.
Because you’re just the type they’re looking for.
Guessing that’s not a compliment.

What do you care, anyway?
I’m trying not to turn into my mother.
She’s like the ghost of bitchiness future.
Hey.
[poignant music playing]
I’ll be at the Weathervane later, if you want to stop by.
Maybe we can exchange notes on self-improvement.
[door opens, closes]
I haven’t always been against birthdays.
Each one reminds me I’m a year closer to death’s cold embrace.
What’s not to like about that?
Besides, my parents always made sure my birthdays were memorable.
[party guests] ♪ Happy birthday to you… ♪
[Wednesday] The perfect surprise.
[clang]
The perfect cake.

[children chanting] Candy! Candy! Candy!
The perfect party games.
Candy! Candy! Candy!
[cheering turning into shrieking]
But now parties and presents and games, it… it all feels so trivial.
Goody warned me I was destined to be alone, and that I would be sorry for it.
[person clearing throat]
Dr. Kinbott.
I haven’t seen you since our session with your family, which was… certainly one I won’t forget.
How are things with them?
My mother and I spent some quality time together.
Got our hands dirty.
Gardening?
Grave-digging.
Hmm.
And I managed to keep my father out of prison.
What brings you here?
Eugene’s moms, I’m working with them.
Trauma like this leaves emotional scars on the whole family.
They had to head home for a few days, so I promised I’d check in on him.
I’ll leave you to it.
[Kinbott] Who’s Goody?
[inscrutable music playing]
She’s a very distant cousin.
Very distant.
Sounds like she doesn’t see you for who you really are.
She sees more than you know.
I want to assure you I remain as cold and heartless as the first day we met.
I doubt a cold, heartless person would be sitting by her friend’s bedside feeling guilt for his
condition.
I didn’t ask for a free session.

Consider it my birthday gift. [chuckles]
[eerie notes twinkle]
[knocking]
Come in.
This just arrived from London.
Copy of an old death certificate you requested.
Thanks, Agnes.
Oh, by the way, has Inez Bloom called again?
You mean about the lights at the old Gates place?
Couple days ago. I referred her to the sheriff’s office.
I know you’re usually a quad kind of girl, but I’ve been working on that all week.
Birthday, yes.
Happy, never.
Is there anyone Thing didn’t tell?
Well, who do you think delivered the cake?
Yeah, I went with the 98% dark chocolate ganache knowing your… preferred color palette.
[country music playing faintly from speakers]
Oh, is that, uh… that Enid’s gift?
It’s perfect if you’re fleeing a war-torn country on foot.
Come on. Don’t you like a day that’s all about you?
Every day is all about me.
This one just comes with cake and a bad song.
So, if I asked you out to a non-birthday, song-free dinner… would that be something you’re
interested in?
I have a tight deadline.
Emphasis on dead.
Term paper?
It’s about how whitewashing the sins of our past will come back to kill us all.
Oh.
[delicate, unnerving music playing]
Have you seen that before?
Uh…
What’s that supposed to be?
Never mind.
Okay, did… did I do something?
I just feel like ever since the Rave’N, you’ve kind of been ghosting me.
Am I wrong?
[tender, emotional music playing]
Guess I got my answer.
Tall, black, two sugars, to go?
[music fades away]
That threat burned onto the lawn at school, it’s also etched on the wall inside Crackstone’s crypt.
Don’t tell me you’ve been digging up more bodies.
There’s a connection there. I know it.
I’ll put out an APB on the dead pilgrim.
I figured since you no longer have an old vendetta to obsess over, you’re free to solve some real
crime.
Your father and I buried the hatchet. Maybe you should do the same.
I don’t bury hatchets.
I sharpen them.
[“Sciuri Sciura” by Blonde Redhead playing]
♪ Sciuri Sciura, Sciuri Sciura… ♪
I need your help.
Don’t gloat.
What, do you want some drawing lessons?
[music stops]
Your line work’s a little shaky.
I saw that in a vision. Do you recognize it?
[eerie, cryptic music playing]
[Wednesday] When did you draw this?
[Xavier] Couple days ago.
I started having those dreams again, like before.
Was the monster in them?

No, but I could feel it in the shadows.
You know, kind of lurking in my mind.
[Wednesday] You know where this is?
Yeah. It’s the old Gates mansion.
I pass it when I go running.
Why?
[Xavier clears throat]
Okay. Listen…
After the dance, I just wanted to forget about you, but I couldn’t.
So I started painting and that’s what came out.
I can hear you up there playing.
[playing “Cello Concerto in E minor” by Elgar]
I can tell how you get lost in the music.
I feel like it’s the only time I get to see the real you.
[frustrated sigh]
[phone keyboard clacking]

You’re Bianca, right?
Uh, could you do me a favor?
Wednesday forgot this. Could you give it back to her?
Birthday gift from Enid.
Aren’t you her boyfriend?
Definitely not.
Sure, no problem.
I was just leaving anyway.
Didn’t think you were actually going to show.
Me neither.
Took your advice.
Seriously, why are you here?
I didn’t think any outcast would ever speak to me again.
Just… wanted someone to talk to.
I feel like we’re in the same boat.

My mother showed up last week to remind me that sirens can never change their scales.
No matter how hard I try, there will always be people who look down on me.
My mission is to prove her wrong.
I just figured you could relate.
[gentle, tender music playing]
Most people think I’ll never amount to anything.
And while we’re being honest, I haven’t done much to make them think differently.
Why did you trash the dance?
I don’t know.
Guess I was angry that my dad was humiliated on Outreach Day.
Wanted payback.
But then after we did it, I kind of felt like crap.
I realized I needed to wipe the board, you know? Start over.
If that makes any sense.
More than you know.

[Wednesday] This is where Garrett Gates lived.
The boy my father was accused of murdering.
The sheriff told me his family died, along with their legacy of hate.
But ghosts don’t kill the living.
Goody showed me this house for a reason.
I need to unlock its secrets, or die trying.
[lilting stinger]
[lock turning]
I need a distraction.
Sheriff, pick up your damn phone, it’s Noble.
Listen, I might have figured out who’s behind all of this.
[indistinct rattling]
It’s a long shot. I’m gonna have to lay it out for you.
We’ll do it over pie at the Weathervane, just like the old days.
See you soon.

[shocked gasp]
No!
[tires screeching]
Noble!
Call 911!
Get an ambulance!
[distressing music swells]
[siren wailing]
[Galpin] He’s alive.
Barely.
I’ll take you back after I get your statement.
I already gave it to your deputy.
Blue Cadillac with no license plates.
Yeah, I know.
I want a better one.
What were you doing in the mayor’s SUV?

I saw him coming out of the Gates mansion.
The Gates mansion. What the hell were you doing there?
House hunting.
I overheard the voicemail he left you.
I was intrigued.
Back when the mayor was sheriff, he used to have a lot of wild theories on cases that he couldn’t
solve.
So… we’d dissect them over pie, sitting right back there in that booth.
Most of the time they went nowhere.
Call me old-fashioned, but when someone is run over on their way to give the police key
information, it usually means they were onto something.
And all signs point to the Gates family and that house.
The Gates family.
How? They’re all dead. Every last one of them.
And I don’t believe in ghosts.
Maybe you should.
How do you end up at the center of every terrible thing that happens here?
Incredible luck.
As of now, the school is on full lockdown, and your off-campus privileges are revoked until further
notice.
[frenetic clacking]
Wednesday, I just heard what happened to Mayor Walker.
Are you all right? I… I can’t imagine witnessing something like that.
[typewriter dings]
It was on my bucket list.
You can tell the warden I’m still in my cell.
Principal Weems is only looking out for your best interests.
You could have been seriously hurt or worse.
Oh. How goes the novel?
Viper’s investigation has been thwarted on several fronts, but she’s plotting her next course of
action.
[keys clacking]
Sounds intriguing.
I saw this on my bookshelf and thought of you.

Mary Shelley wrote it on a dare when she was only 19.
I know.
She’s both my literary hero and nemesis, and I have two years and 364 days to beat her.
Well, I think it’s very smart that you’re focusing on literary monsters, and leaving whatever real ones
might be out there to the authorities.
“No man chooses evil because it is evil.”
“He only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.”
Mary Shelley wrote that line to describe people like Weems, who do bad things under the guise of
protecting the greater good.
Did she put you up to this?
[scoffs]
Encourage me to pursue other interests?
No.
But she will expel you if you continue to defy her.
So you’re only looking out for my best interests?
Always.
I think we’re a lot alike.

We aren’t.
I don’t need your help or your pity. I already have a mother and a therapist.
That’s enough torture, even for me.
[dejected sigh]
[door closes]
[phone receiver clattering]
[dial tone drones]
[keypad beeping]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
I’ve reconsidered your offer.
[Tyler] My offer?
The non-birthday dinner.
Really? That’s great. Um…
When are you free?

Pick me up outside the Nevermore gates at 8:00.
Cut your lights.
Uh… Wednesday?
[Galpin] Ty? What did I tell you?
Come on, bud, steer clear of Wednesday Addams.
She’s the kind of girl who’s gonna get you hurt.
Believe me, I know the type.
Is that supposed to be about Mom?
Of course not. That would require you to actually talk about her.
[low, discomforting music playing]
I can’t deal with this right now.
I gotta get to the hospital. I gotta check on the mayor.
Be home before curfew.
Did you ever even love her?
[poignant, melancholy music playing]
More than you could ever know.

[door closes]
[quizzical music playing]
I’ve been thinking about my less-than-enthusiastic response to your surprise soirée.
And I must admit,
I regret not showing my gratitude towards you more appropriately.
You really mean it?
Take the win, Enid.
If only there were a way for us to get off campus and have a little birthday redo.
Just two best friends.
Too bad the school is on lockdown.
Would you look at that full moon…
Oh, how about I say I’m about to wolf out and get a pass to the lupin cages?
And say you volunteered to lock me in.
My deviousness has finally rubbed off on you.
[Enid chuckles]
Thing?
You know what to do, right?
[quirky, impish music playing]
Oh, we should wear our snoods.
Oh, I… I believe I left mine at fencing.
Actually, you left yours at the Weathervane.
Luckily, Bianca brought it back.
Like a monkey’s paw.
[whimsically gloomy music playing]
Jeez!
Let’s go.
Uh… Uh…
Hi. Nice to see you too.
Wait, he’s our Uber driver?
Uber driver?
I thought we were going on a date.

I thought this was a girls’ night out.
There’s been a change of plans.
What’s up with the weird matching hoodie scarf things?
Don’t ask.
Just drive.
[engine turns over]
Hey, Wednesday?
Are you guys in here?
I know you’re still mad about the painting, but I just want to talk to you for a second.
Where is she, Thing?
[bell dings]
[Enid] Seriously, you wanna go in there?
This place is creepy AF.
I know.
Okay. This isn’t what I signed on for.
Ditto.
I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday by going to dinner or a surprise party.
I want to do this.
[Tyler] Then you shoulda just said so. You didn’t have to trick us.
If you want to go, you can.
I’m going to go check out the garage.
[gate hinges creaking]
[low, foreboding music playing]
[door rattles]
[Tyler] Let me try.
This is pointless.
Can I try?
Whoa.
Werewolf thing.

[Enid] This hit the mayor.
Okay. This just took a dark turn.
We need to call Tyler’s dad right freaking now.
Why?
So he can take me back to Nevermore and get me expelled?
It’s not gonna happen.
[Tyler] This is the night I’m gonna die.
[Enid whimpering quietly]
[Wednesday] Here they are. The Gates family.
They scrub up well for psychopaths.
There’s Garrett, his outcast-hating father, Ansel, and you must be Laurel.
They’re all long gone.
So the question is, why did Goody lead me here?
Seen enough?
[gears clicking, whirring]

[machinery creaking, sliding]
[music intensifies]
[Enid whimpers uncomfortably]
Who doesn’t have a spooky built-in altar in their family library?
Ours is in the living room.
More seating for year-long Dia de los Muertos.
[whimpers]
They’re still warm.
[whimpers]
Tyler, you check the rest of the ground floor.
Enid and I will search upstairs.
[Enid] We will?
[chilling music continues]
All right, you go left, I go right.
You seriously want to split up? In here?

That is literally how every best friend dies in a horror movie.
The faster we search, the sooner you can leave.
[Enid muttering fearfully]
[whines]
[breathes shakily]
[voice trembling] Why am I even here?
I know what my mom would say.
“Enid, you’re a doormat.”
“You’re too needy.”
“Show some teeth. Nobody likes a desperate little furball.”
Shut up, Mom. Get out of my head!
[Enid] Wednesday, you need to see this.
[music intensifies]
The bed’s made.

No dust or cobwebs…
[delicate, unsettling music playing]
“LG?”
Laurel Gates.
Looks like somebody moved back into their old room.
It’s not possible.
She died 25 years ago, drowned overseas.
[object shattering]
Let’s go.
This is officially the worst girls’ night out ever!
Guys! Get out! It’s here!
[claws slashing]
[Tyler screams]
[guttural growl]
The dumbwaiter. Go!
[snarls]
[Enid screams]
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
[jarring stinger]
[creature growling]
No, not your snood!
Stop.
[creature growling]
Oh my God.
[rope stretching, fraying]
[Enid screams]
[clattering]
[Enid coughing]
[Enid panting]
[thunderous footsteps boom]

[music intensifies]
[creature growling]
[Enid screams]
[heavy, resounding footsteps]
What are you doing?
These are the body parts from the monster’s victims.
Come on.
[creature snarls]
You okay?
Since when do you care?
Wednesday, what the hell are you thinking?
[Wednesday] We have to go back for Tyler!
[Enid] The monster’s there!
[Tyler breathing heavily]
Enid, hold this.
That thing is still inside!

You’re hurt. Can you walk?
[Wednesday] Where’d you come from?
Here.
Take this.
[Tyler grunting]
[Xavier] What happened to him?
[Tyler winces softly]
Thanks, Doc.
[Enid] Not to make this about me, but I am having a full-blown panic attack now.
We need to get back before Weems realizes we’ve been gone.
What the hell happened?
This was you, wasn’t it?
Wait, Dad, please. I’m okay.
Sheriff, I understand you’re upset, but I think you need to see something.
It was all here.

The… The… The body parts and the blue Cadillac, the altar, and the bedroom filled with fresh roses.
Yeah, well, it’s all gone now.
Somebody cleared this place out after we left.
Listen, yesterday I told you all signs pointed to this house, and I was right.
That your justification for almost getting my son and your friends killed? Huh?
Now, you listen to me.
From this point forward, you are forbidden from seeing Tyler, and you are forbidden from pursuing
anything to do with this case, understood?
[thunder rumbling]
You directly violated my explicit order and left campus during a lockdown.
Not to mention putting your peers and yourself in danger.
Which is grounds for expulsion. I know.
And you have every right to exercise that option.
I do believe it would be a grave error on your part.
[disbelieving scoff]
I think contrition might be in order right now, Miss Addams. Not hubris.
I’ll never apologize for trying to uncover a truth.
[menacing music playing]
[Weems] What is this?
It’s a warning from Rowan.
Is this why he tried to kill you?
His mother drew it before she died.
Said I was destined to destroy the school.
But I think I’m meant to save it.
Now you know what’s at stake.
Everything you vowed to protect, no less.
I think I deserve another chance.
Please.
One more infraction…
One more step out of line and you will be expelled.
No ifs, no buts.
Enid and Xavier are spared as well.

And no more negotiation.
Good night.
Where are you going?
Yoko’s room.
Thornhill said I could crash there for a few nights.
There’s no need.
I spoke with Weems. You and Xavier won’t be punished.
Am I supposed to thank you?
I already apologized. It’s over.
Over?
Tonight was the icing on the birthday cake you couldn’t even be bothered to cut.
You’ll use anyone to get what you want, even if it means putting them in danger.
We could have died tonight because of your stupid obsession.
But we didn’t.
And now I’m one step closer to solving this case.

That is what is important.
I’ve tried really, really, really hard to be your friend.
Always put myself out there.
Thought of your feelings. Told people, “I know she gives off serial killer vibes, but she’s just shy.”
I never asked you to do that.
You didn’t have to because that’s what friends do!
They don’t have to be asked.
The fact that you don’t know that says everything.
You want to be alone, Wednesday? Be alone.
[door slams]
[restrained, morose music playing]
[Wednesday] Goody warned I was destined to be alone.
Maybe it’s inevitable.
But for the first time in my life, it doesn’t feel good.
There’s also something else.
A gnawing feeling.
That death is close at hand.
Watching me.
[determined music playing]
But I won’t be intimidated. And I will never give up.
That house.
That family.
Crackstone.
The monster.
Somehow me.
We all seem to be connected like a spider’s web.
And when Mayor Walker got too close to the truth, he was silenced.
[ventilator hissing]
But I won’t be.
So whoever’s watching me, know this.

I will find you.
EP 07 (If You Don’t Woe By

Now)
[thunder rumbling]
[“If I Be Wrong” by Wolf Larsen playing]
[Wednesday] I enjoy funerals.
I’ve been crashing them since I was old enough to read the obituary section.
“God is our refuge and strength…”
Mayor Walker was murdered, and I know the killer is here, standing innocently among us, plotting
their next move.
And watching everything I do.
I know I’m close to the truth.
I have all the pieces of the jigsaw.
I just need to slot them into place.
♪ What if I’m wrong? ♪

♪ What if I lied? ♪
♪ What if I’ve dragged you here ♪
♪ To my own dark night ♪
♪ And what if I know ♪
♪ What if I see ♪
♪ There is a crack run right down ♪
♪ The front of me ♪
I must look past the tears and masks of grief.
Until now, I may have been outmatched and outmaneuvered,
but the final gambit has yet to be played.
The killer will make a mistake,
and I’ll be ready.
[suspenseful chase music playing]

[blade rasps]
[electricity crackles]
[man] Still as sharp as ever, my pig-tailed protégé.
Uncle Fester.
[fay, wondrous music playing]
[chortles]
[Wednesday] How long have you been stalking me?
[Fester] Just blew into town this morning and was hit by a wave of nostalgia.
I thought you didn’t go to Nevermore.
I didn’t. Your dad got all the brains.
But I used to drop in on him.
Usually from the ceiling with a dagger clutched between my teeth.
Just to keep him on his toes.
Of course.
He filled me in on what’s been going on.
Monsters, murder, mayhem.
What fun!
I told him I had a job in Boston, but I’d be checking up on you.
What kind of job?
The kind that means I need somewhere to lay low for a couple days.
[whimsically eerie music playing]
This place belongs to a friend.
You’ve actually made a friend.
That poor kid will be going home in a body bag.
Oh. [chuckles]
I like a hideout that comes with snacks.
Those bees are hibernating.
They’re practically Eugene’s children.
Ooh. [chuckles]
[buzzing]
That means do not eat them!
[Fester] You know,
when you give me that death stare of disapproval,
you remind me of your mother.
Speaking of scary things,
you know what kind of monster you’re dealing with?
I haven’t been able to identify it.
Ooh.
It’s called a Hyde.
As in Jekyll and Hyde?
Mm-hmm.
You’ve seen one before?
Oh yeah.
In ’83, during my vacay at the Zurich Institute for the Criminally Insane.
Where I got my first lobotomy.
But you know lobotomies. They’re like tattoos. Can’t just get one.
Tell me about the Hyde.
Ah. Olga Malacova.
Jeez. She had it all.
Beauty, brains, and a penchant for necrophilia.
[Fester chuckles, claps]
Olga was a concert pianist,
until one night she transformed in the middle of a Chopin sonata.
Massacred a dozen audience members.
And three music critics.
What triggered her? Or did she just change on her own?
No idea.
I only saw her in group electroshock therapy.
There’s never been any mention of Hydes in any outcast book.
And Nevermore is reputed for having the best collection.

You try Nathaniel Faulkner’s diary?
Mmm!
Before he founded Nevermore,
Faulkner traveled the world, cataloging every outcast community.
How do you know this?
You think your parents can’t keep their hands off each other now, oy vey.
I showed up unannounced one night in Gomez’s dorm room.
Let’s just say I wasn’t interrupting a pillow fight.
Uncle Fester.
[restrained laughter]
Yeah.
The diary, where is it?
Nightshades Library.
Your dad parked me there and said I should settle in for a long stretch.
And that’s when I found this nifty little safe.

I was hoping for a stash of cash or jewels but instead I found a diary.
We’ll sneak into the Nightshades Library tonight.
In the meantime, lay low.
If you are discovered,
I will disown you and collect the reward tied to your capture.
I’d expect nothing less.
Leave the bees alone.
[simpering chuckle]
[elegant classical guitar music playing]
[keys clacking]
[Wednesday] My novel started out as a twisted fiction,
but somehow reality has turned it into my own personal looking glass.
My visit to the Gates mansion has left me with so many questions.
If Laurel Gates died 20 years ago, then who’s sleeping in her bedroom?
Why do they have photos of me?
And what is their connection to this Hyde?

Whoever it is, they’re clearly willing to kill for their secret.
Goody predicted this quest for answers would become a lonely pursuit.
Of course, Goody’s nowhere to be found when I need her.
[door rattling]
The dead can be just as annoying and unreliable as the living.
Hi.
Sorry, I figured you were still at Mayor Walker’s wake.
As soon as the dirt hits the coffin, I’m out.
I can’t seem to find my bottle of silver moon nail polish.
[music stops]
Do you mind if I look around?
Yoko’s hosting a mani-pedi party for her crew.
This is the third time in 24 hours you’ve forgotten something.
So,
how is everything going?

Solitude suits me.
With no annoying distractions, I’m almost finished with my novel.
Was I an annoying distraction?
You definitely had some annoying habits.
Such as?
You giggle when you text, which is a 24/7 addiction.
At least it’s not a migraine-inducing typewriter hammering into my head.
When not grinding your canines, you growl in your sleep.
As opposed to late night cello solos?
You over-commit to activities, then complain about them.
I’d take that over your obsession with all things creepy.
You could gas an entire village with the amount of perfume you spritz.
That’s just off the top of my head.
Guess I’m lucky with the new bestie that doesn’t try to find ways
to endanger literally everybody she comes into contact with.
In fact, Yoko and I are so in sync that she’s begging me to be her new roomie.
Permanently.
Don’t let me hold you back.
Enjoy your solitude, Wednesday.
It’s not solitude if you’re still here.
[door slams]
[adventurous, sweeping music playing]
[snaps twice]
[gears clicking, clacking]
Uncle Fester?
Who’s Uncle Fester?
Since I’m an actual Nightshade, I don’t have to explain myself.
What’s your excuse for creeping around in the middle of the night?
Research.
On the monster?
I’ll save you some time.
There’s nothing in here matching that thing.
Isn’t that convenient?
You know what your problem is?
I would love to hear your piercing insight.
You don’t know who your real friends are.
I’ve been on your side since day one.
I literally saved your life.
I believed your theories when nobody else did.
And what do I get in return? Just nothing but suspicion and lies.
Fine. You want honesty? Here it is.
Every time the monster’s attacked, you’ve been right there.
Starting with Rowan at the Harvest Festival.
[fireworks whistling]
[screams]
[snarls]
Then on Outreach Day,
you arrived just minutes after the monster disappeared,
yet you say you didn’t see it.
I didn’t realize proximity was a crime.
Then there’s your drawing obsession.
You have drawn the monster dozens of times,
yet you’ve never seen it. Or so you claim.
You even drew where it lived. Then when Eugene went to investigate,
you tried to kill him so he wouldn’t spill your secret.
You think I would hurt Eugene?
Let’s not forget your oh-so-convenient appearance
after Tyler had been attacked at the Gates mansion.
If I am the monster,
then why haven’t I killed you?

Because for some reason I cannot fathom or indulge, you seem to like me.
What’s to like?
[broody, chilling music playing]
[door closes]
[thud]
How long have you been lurking?
Long enough to feel the tension between you two.
Yowza!
Seriously, you could cut it with an executioner’s axe.
[rapid scrabbling]
I’d recognize the patter of those fingertips anywhere.
Hello, Thing.
[emphatic tap]
You can’t still be mad about the Kalamazoo job.
It wasn’t my fault.
[Fester gurgles]
You said you could crack that safe in 30 seconds.
Five minutes later, we were still there.
You’re all thumbs.
[forcefully] Enough.
[cheeky music playing]
Let him go.
Show me the diary.
[wet squelch]
[electricity crackles]
[Fester] Here we are.
Iggy was Faulkner’s right hand.
Trained a generation of Nightshades.
And behind Iggy Itt…
Do I have time for a snooze, or can you crack this quickly?
[insulted, determined music playing]

[knuckles crack]
[dial clicking rapidly]
[safe clatters]
[Fester] This is turning into a replay of Kalamazoo.
[resounding click]
[snap]
These are some sweet digs.
How’d you swing your own single?
My former roommate couldn’t handle my toxic personality.
[Fester] Mmm.
Here it is.
Faulkner describes Hydes as artists by nature,
but equally vindictive in temperament.
Born of mutation, the Hyde lays dormant until unleashed by a traumatic event
or unlocked through chemical inducement or hypnosis.

This causes the Hyde to develop an immediate bond with its liberator,
who the creature now sees as its master.
It becomes the willing instrument of whatever nefarious agenda
this new master might propose.
[Fester] Anyone willing to unlock a Hyde is a next-level sicko.
That means I’m not looking for one killer but two.
The monster and its master.
[knocking at door]
[relieved sigh]
I didn’t mean to startle you.
I was just working on my novel.
Enid has requested to room with Yoko for the rest of the school year.
She did?
When there’s a falling out,
I like to get both girls’ perspectives on what happened.

You two seemed as thick as thieves.
Ultimately, thieves turn on each other. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.
Deflect all you want, but you and I both know that you care about Enid.
And you have to admit she managed to bring out a spark of warmth in you.
Oh, don’t worry. Just a tiny spark.
Barely perceptible to the average eye,
but… I noticed.
Part of the dorm experience is
making friends with people that you wouldn’t normally connect with.
And those friendships often turn into lifelong bonds.
I would rather buy a rope.
Is it really so difficult for you to admit that you made a friend,
and now that she’s gone you might actually miss her?
I’ll survive alone.
I always have.
Well, if that’s your decision, I’ll submit the forms to Principal Weems.
[door opens]
[exasperated sigh]
Uncle Fester?
[faint squeaking]
[deflated squeak]
[whimsically eerie music playing]
Uncle Fester?
[muffled giggle]
Hey! Being a solo lobo has its perks.
You get to live by your own rules, do whatever you want.
Just look at me. [chortles]
[whimsically eerie music continues, trails off]
Hi. Um, I need to talk to you.
No, like… like, right now.

Yeah, I know where that is.
Okay, I can meet you there in, like, 20 minutes.
Okay. Bye.
Who’re you talking to?
It’s none of your goddamn business.
I know what you are, Xavier.
Can you stay the hell away from me?
Did you place the tracker?
Don’t worry. Uncle Fester’s got you covered.
[lo-fi electronic beeping]
Okay. Let’s hit the road.
What?
I picked it up on my way out of town.
You know me. I like to travel incognito.
[Fester chuckling]
[groovy, kooky music playing]

Come on, let’s roll!
[music trails off]
[indistinct voice] Hey! What’s so urgent?
What happened?
I had a dream where you died.
[scoffs] Get in the car.
[tower bell tolls]
Principal Weems, it is imperative I speak with you about Dr. Kinbott.
Wednesday. We were just talking about you.
[Kinbott] Speak of the devil.
And she shall appear.
Dr. Kinbott was just discussing your assessment.
I need to sign off on it before she hands it in to the court.

Well, what’s the verdict, Doctor? Am I cured?
I’m glad you find it amusing. The judge assigned to your case won’t.
I’ve explained to Dr. Kinbott
that you’ve recently been taking small but meaningful steps
towards embracing your new Nevermore family.
Yes.
I think I’ve actually reached the half-hug stage.
I’ve been reading about hypnotherapy.
It might be a good technique to unlock my inner Wednesday.
Are you a devotee?
Yes, very much so.
I applaud your new willingness to delve deep into yourself.
I’m seeing you on Monday.
We can start then.
What did you so urgently need to discuss, Wednesday?
It can wait.
Now if you’ll excuse me,
I have some homework to finish.
[door closes]
Kinbott has to be Xavier’s master.
[Fester] Hmm.
The Hyde lays dormant until unleashed by a traumatic event
or unlocked through chemical inducement or hypnosis.
Mmm!
[Fester slurping]
Are you listening?
She must’ve figured out he’s a Hyde and used hypnotherapy to unlock him.
That would explain their secret sessions.
I think the kid behind the counter has clocked me.
Yeah. He’s walking over.
I’m gonna put him in a Romanian sleeper hold.

Cover me.
Relax.
He’s not interested in you.
Uh, made you a quad. On the house.
Hey, thanks kid. [chuckles]
Need a refill on this puppy too.
Uh…
Tyler.
This is my Uncle Fester.
Oh. Uh…
Hi, it’s nice to…
[zaps]
[yelps]
[Fester snickering]
Is that…?
It’s called a Hyde.

[Tyler] Whoa, that’s it. From that night.
Your father gave you explicit instructions not to be near me.
Yeah, my dad’s not here, and I’m on a break.
Well, apparently a Hyde needs to be unlocked by someone. Its master.
Holy shit.
[Galpin] Tyler.
What’d I say?
[Tyler] Uh…
For the record, Wednesday was trying to keep her distance.
I was the one that sat down with her.
All right.
Putting these up around town.
It’s a bank robbery suspect, and he’s a real creep.
You haven’t seen him, have you?
No.
Yeah, he’d be pretty hard to miss. [snickers]
I’ll pin it on the bulletin board.
Ah, why waste my breath?
Thank you. But you didn’t have to do that.
Yeah, your family’s very… colorful.
Ironic considering Fester’s the black sheep.
He’s harmless.
So, about rescheduling our date…
Between the monster and my uncle…
Hey, no excuses.
Figure after what happened last time, you owe me.
I can’t sneak off of campus. All eyes are on me.
You won’t have to.
I’ll come to you.
9:00 p.m., Crackstone’s Crypt.
[thunder rumbling]
[insistent tapping]
I don’t miss her.
Friends are a liability and can be exploited.
That makes them weaknesses.
Your job is to guard that diary while I’m gone.
I’ll be back as soon as I can.
It’s not a date.
It’s a quid pro quo for almost getting him disemboweled.
Watch that diary!
Last time somebody threw a surprise for me here, it did not go as planned.
I guarantee this one won’t make you pass out cold.
But you do have to close your eyes.
Are you serious?
Unfortunately.
I’m only doing this because I owe you.

Okay. Watch your step.
Wait here. Close your eyes.
Okay.
Easy. Right here.
One second.
[door slam echoes]
Okay, you can open your eyes now.
[delicate, wondrous music playing]
What? No one’s ever taken you on a picnic inside a crypt before?
How do you feel about scary movies?
Prepare to be horrified.
[“Perfect Day” by Hoku playing]
♪ Sun’s up, it’s a little after 12:00 ♪
♪ Make breakfast for myself ♪
♪ Leave the work for someone else ♪
♪ People say ♪
♪ They say that it’s just a phase ♪
♪ They tell me to act my age ♪
♪ Well, I am ♪
♪ On this perfect day ♪
[song trails off]
[indistinct police radio chatter]
That is definitely our suspect’s bike.
Looks as weird as he does.
All right, he couldn’t have got too far on foot. So, you guys spread out.
I’m going to check down by the lake.
[bird trilling]
[Wednesday] That was torture.
Thank you.
[wry chuckle]
Okay, don’t hate me. I’m just gonna come out and say it.
I want us to be more than friends.
You’ll snap out of it.
Don’t do that.
Discount my feelings.
I’m not friend material, let alone more-than-friend material.
I will ignore you, stomp on your heart,
and always put my needs and interests first.
Yeah, you can keep trying to push me away.
It’s not going to work.
I almost killed you.
I survived.
Beginner’s luck.
I’m tougher than you think.
You’re making a mistake.
Probably.
Definitely.
[door opens]
[gun cocks]
What the hell?
Tyler.
Dad? What are you doing here?
The school groundskeeper found a motorbike by the lake.
It matches the description of the one the bank robber stole.
There’s a canoe missing. Figured he might be on Raven Island.
I’m not going to ask what this is, but I never saw the two of you here.
You got it?
Unbelievable. Come on.
[low, unnerving music playing]
The diary…
Thing?
[splattering]
[jarring stinger]
Thing…
Fester? Fester, help!
Help! Help! Thing’s not moving.
He was stabbed!
Get him on the table!
[sparking]
[electricity sparks]
Oh, come on, Thing.
[tense, distraught music playing]
He’s gone, Wednesday.
No, he’s not. Thing.
If you can hear me…
if you die, I will kill you.

Go again.
Now! Again, please!
[shuddering gasp]
For a minute, we thought you’d picked your last lock, buddy.
Who did this to you?
Knife from behind the back. Cowards.
I promise that whoever did this to you will suffer.
And it will be slow,
long,
and excruciatingly painful.
I’ll stitch him back up.
They found your motorbike, so…
the sheriff won’t be far. You need to go.
Maybe next time steal something a little less conspicuous.
Where’s the fun in that?

[exhales]
All right. I’ll lay low here tonight,
keep an eye on the patient, and I’ll skedaddle in the morning.
I guess I’ll see you at your arraignment or the next family reunion.
You’ll always be my favorite, Wednesday.
Be sure to tell Pugsley that.
It’ll give him a complex.
I’m guessing it’s not some kind of random prank.
Whoever ransacked my room also stole Nathaniel Faulkner’s diary.
That’s supposed to be safely locked in the Nightshades Library.
So you do know about that diary,
which means you also know the monster we’re after is called a Hyde.
[fire crackling]
Thank you, Ms. Thornhill. I’ll take it from here.
Of course. If you need anything, I’ll be right down the hall.
[door closes]
Faulkner spent years studying Hydes.
He wanted to determine if they were just mindless killers
or conscious of their actions.
What was his conclusion?
He was killed by a Hyde before he could reach one.
Others tried to carry on his research,
but the Hydes were too unpredictable and violent.
They were officially banned from Nevermore 30 years ago.
All of this time, you’ve known the monster was a Hyde.
Why didn’t you tell the sheriff?
Because then Nevermore is done.
Over. Shut for good.
And that’s not happening on my watch.
But I’m not the only one withholding.
If you suspect someone, you need to tell me.

Why?
All you’ve ever done is gaslight and obstruct me.
You don’t care how many people die, as long as your reputation is safe.
I am protecting our Nevermore family, which also includes you, Ms. Addams.
[low, foreboding music playing]
[music builds, fades away]
[students chattering indistinctly]
Come with me.
I have information about Mayor Walker’s murder.
Printed these off my dad’s computer.
Seems he was trying to track down someone.
Laurel Gates? Looks like he started right after Outreach Day.
Must have recognized her there.
According to British police, Laurel was presumed drowned,
but no body was ever recovered.
The Gates mansion was purchased a year ago by a 90-year-old candy heiress.
She then mysteriously died and gave all of her belongings to her caregiver,
Teresa L. Glau.
It’s an anagram for Laurel Gates.
Laurel secretly buys her old house
and then comes back to Jericho as someone else.
Why?
Revenge on all the people she blames for her family’s misfortunes. Your father.
The coroner.
My parents.
Most of all, Nevermore.
How does the monster fit into all of this?
The monster is a Hyde. It’s doing Laurel’s bidding.
She controls it.
You know who Laurel is, don’t you?
[disconcerting music playing]

Wednesday, we don’t have an appointment scheduled today.
I wanted to return something.
[Kinbott] Uh…
I found it in your old childhood room.
[music box playing delicate tune]
I know you’re Laurel Gates, and you’ve come back to Jericho to seek your revenge.
And so did Mayor Walker, which is why you had to kill him.
Who better to slide in and out of the hospital undetected
than a psychiatrist under the guise of visiting another patient?
[low, distorted audio]
You’re not actually accusing me of murdering the mayor?
The roses you left in Eugene’s room were your mistake.
They’re the same variety I found near your childhood bed.
I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.
There’s only one reason an overqualified psychiatrist like yourself
would settle in the inconsequential backwater that is Jericho.

It allowed you to crawl through the troubled, young minds of outcasts
until you found one that you can manipulate to exact your revenge.
You know what?
I don’t have time to deal with your delusional fantasies.
I have a patient emergency.
Who? Xavier?
I know all about the secret sessions you’ve been holding in your car.
I also found the cave where you’ve been holding sessions to unlock his Hyde.
You are so out of line.
Do you know how violently unpredictable a Hyde can be?
It was your plan to have Xavier committed before he could turn on you too.
Wednesday, you need help.
More help than I can give you.
Who you calling? Xavier?
Judge Reynolds.
I’m going to recommend you stay in a juvenile psychiatric facility.
Oh, please. You and I both know I’d be running that place in a week.
Time’s up, Laurel.
Principal Weems, it’s Valerie Kinbott.
Wednesday Addams just barged into my office.
I wasn’t aware that Wednesday had a session today.
She didn’t, and her behavior was completely irrational.
[glass shattering]
[thumping, thrashing]
Dr. Kinbott?
[thumping continues]
Dr. Kinbott?
[snarls]
[scream echoing]
She’s gone.
Dr. Kinbott’s dead.
This ends now.
[dark, determined music playing]
[Xavier scoffs]
You know what? You need to stay out of my space.
You need to take your own advice.
You left that in my room.
Actually, you left it in Thing.
How long have you been seeing Kinbott?
Have you…?
What am I saying? Of course you have. You’ve been spying on me, right?
‘Cause I’m the villain in your fantasy.
My father thinks that my mental health is a PR problem that he needs to manage.
He wanted to keep his troubled son out of the tabloids.
I wasn’t in your room.

Believe me or don’t believe me,
I don’t care.
Your painting’s been improving.
I enjoy this one in particular.
Feels like you really lived it.
What do you want?
I’m asking the questions.
What is Rowan’s inhaler doing in your shed?
Or Eugene’s glasses?
Whoa, whoa.
Or these stalker images you took of me?
No. I…
Don’t forget your latest addition.
Kinbott’s necklace.
Somebody planted that stuff!
Freeze!
Drop the knife. Down on your knees.
Cuff him.
You have the right to remain silent.
What?
Anything you say can and will be used against you in court.
You have the right to an attorney.
If you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed.
Appreciate the help, Addams.
You! You framed me!
I’m being set up.
I shoulda let Rowan kill you.
[delicate, suspicious music playing]
[car door slams]
Hey.
You’re back.
I’m gone for a few days, the place gets trashed,
and Thing almost dies.
Someone’s gotta look out for you two.
What happened to rooming with Yoko?
Yoko’s great. I just decided I needed a few more boundaries.
Skip the tape.
Don’t tell me Wednesday Addams is mellowing out.
Never.
More like evolving.
Well, one inch of duct tape at a time.
[poignant music playing]
Why the sudden change of heart?
Because we work.
We shouldn’t, but we do.
It’s like some sort of weird, friendship anomaly.

Everything you said about me is true.
But I don’t apologize for it.
Not anymore.
It’s just who I am.
Thing said he missed you.
I missed him too.
I’m sorry about Xavier.
I’m not. He’s a liar and a killer.
Besides… there’s nothing quite like the feeling of being proven right.
Except maybe someone to share it with.
Thing may have blabbed about your date with Tyler.
So how’d it go?
It was interrupted.
Well, I heard Tyler’s working the late shift…
[Tyler] We’re closed.

Then you should lock your doors.
There’s some real sick people out there.
Yeah, my dad told me what happened with Xavier.
Pretty nuts.
That guy always seemed so normal.
You know, for an outcast.
Well, you know,
it has made me re-evaluate things.
Like what?
Like who I can trust.
That mean you’re ready to be more than friends?
[Tyler chuckles]
[eerie whooshing]
Whoa, hey!
[savage snarling]
[clang]
[claw slicing]
[guttural growling]
[heavy panting]
You okay?
I need to go.
What?
Wh… What’s wrong?
Wednesday!
[Wednesday] Of course the first boy I kiss would turn out to be a psychotic, serial-killing monster.
I guess I have a type.
EP 08 (A Murded of Woes)
Thing gave me your note.
I was surprised you wanted to see me again after you ran out the other night.
So, uh, is this a date?
It’s a surprise.
[wry chuckle]
When I came to Nevermore, romance was the last thing on my mind.
But when you kissed me, you opened my eyes and suddenly it all made sense.
[confused scoff]
Xavier warned me about you, but I didn’t listen.
Ironic now, huh?
Ironic would’ve been framing Xavier for murder while the real Hyde helped me put him away.
Wait… you don’t think…
I don’t think. I know.
Kinbott probably discovered your secret during one of your sessions.
So she unlocked you.

Why’d you kill her?
I thought Hydes were typically loyal to their masters.
Wednesday, this is nuts.
On Outreach Day, I told you I was visiting the old meeting house.
[Hyde snarls]
Did Kinbott send you to spy on me?
At the Rave’N, you overheard Eugene and me discussing your cave in the woods and you warned
Kinbott.
Eugene probably saw her torching it.
Then she sent you to clean up her mess.
I have to hand it to you, Tyler.
Wounding yourself that night at the Gates mansion, that was a masterstroke of misdirection.
Okay, stop. Do you know how insane you sound right now?
I’m not a monster.
A… And if you really thought that I was, why would you risk bringing me out to the woods to
confront me alone?
Who said I was alone?
Okay, I don’t know what kind of sick joke you’re playing, but I’m out of here.
Actually… you’re coming with us.
[disconcerting audio distortions]
[snaps]
[tense, unnerving music playing]
Welcome back.
Where the hell am I?
Somewhere no one can hear your screams.
What’s with the chains?
Don’t ask stupid questions.
Wednesday, this is crazy. I’m a normie.
That’s only half true.
Do you recognize her?
Perhaps if I hadn’t been so distracted by my own mother hogging this photo, I would have noticed
yours sooner.
Your father fell in love and married an outcast.
[Tyler] My mom was an outcast. That doesn’t make me a monster.
According to her personal medical records…
You stole her medical records?
Technically, Thing did.
He took them from your garage. Your father’s quite the pack rat.
Her postpartum depression triggered her condition.
My mom had severe bipolar disorder.
We both know that’s a lie.
She was a Hyde.
And your father has been living his life in dread, never quite sure whether or not she passed her
condition on to you.
Are you all gonna stand there and let her do this to me?
Uh, guys? Enid just texted.
Thornhill’s suspicious.
How long until he morphs into that… thing?

I’m not the monster.
You are. I saw it in a vision at the Weathervane.
Wait, you’re basing all this off some vision you had after we kissed?
I mean, is that something you can trust?
[Bianca] Wednesday, what are you doing?
Just some light torture. Don’t worry, I won’t leave a mark.
[Bianca] Wednesday, hold on.
[Ajax] Wait. Are you being serious?
There’s only one thing that a Hyde understands.
Pain.
Wait! No, Wednesday!
Wednesday!
That’s it. I’m out!
[Nightshade member] Us too.
No.
Wait.
No, I’m done.
Wednesday, I didn’t sign up for this.
Let’s go to Weems, explain everything.
Weems won’t help.
And Tyler is always one step ahead of his father.
Then you’re on your own.
[Tyler panting]
No, don’t leave me here with her, please! I’m begging you, please!
[grim, foreboding music playing]
[tasers sparking]
[Kinbott] When I press him on his mother or any sensitive issue, he snaps, becoming cold and
detached.
It’s like I’m talking to a different person.
I’m increasingly concerned.
I believe the trauma of losing his mother may have left Tyler with deeper psychological scars than I
suspected.
[cell phone ringing]
[Galpin] Hello?
Sheriff Galpin.
We have a problem.
And her name is Wednesday Addams.
What is Kinbott, or should I say Laurel Gates, using you for?
[weakly] Wednesday, please.
Tyler, the body parts in the basement of the Gates mansion, what was she collecting them for?
I don’t understand. Why are you doing this?
[sirens wailing, approaching]
Let’s test your reflexes.
[Tyler] I’m in here!
Get away from my son! Drop it.
Drop it.
[hammer clatters]
[officer] Sign here.
Sheriff Galpin isn’t pressing kidnapping charges.
Which is a miracle given the circumstances.
Of course not.
How long have you known?
Excuse me?
When I gave you that claw from the cave, did you already know?
Wednesday, that’s enough.
[Galpin] Xavier Thorpe is our Hyde.
We’ve got evidence, thanks to you. That’s why I’m giving you one pass.
Tyler is going to turn on you too.
Let’s go.
Get out.
We… Wednesday, wait.
Tyler! No, no, what are you doing?

I need to talk to her, Dad.
She was my friend.
We’re in a police station. What’s gonna happen?
Make it quick.
What do you want?
To ask a question.
What does it feel like?
What does what feel like?
To lose.
You know, at first, I’d wake up naked, covered in blood, no idea what happened.
But over time, I started to remember everything.
The sound of their screams, the panic in their eyes, and a fear so primal I could taste it.
And it was delicious.
You have no idea what’s coming.

[music swells, fades away]
[barely restrained seething]
The quid pro quo for Sheriff Galpin not pressing charges is your immediate expulsion from
Nevermore.
The others had nothing to do with this.
I acted alone.
For someone who claims to have no friends, you certainly protect them.
They didn’t have guts to do what needed to be done.
You mean kidnapping and torture? I should hope not.
You do realize that Tyler brutally disemboweled six people, then harvested a variety of their body
parts.
Perhaps if you’d come to me with your suspicions rather than take matters into your own hands, we
could’ve worked together.
Because trust and cooperation have always been hallmarks of our relationship.
[weary chuckle]
[gloomy music playing]
I admire your ability to be your own person and trust your own instincts.
But that also makes you impatient and impulsive.

Your actions have put me and the school in an impossible position.
Tyler is the Hyde.
And he has framed Xavier. He confessed everything to me!
I wish I could believe you.
His mother was an outcast.
She was a student here, you must remember her.
She was a Hyde!
Yes, Francois. A lovely woman.
I didn’t ask what she identified as.
Then give me more time, and I can prove they are Hydes.
There is no more time, and there are no more deals, Wednesday.
Pack your steamer trunks.
We will have them shipped.
And say your goodbyes.
You’ll be on the afternoon train tomorrow.

I’m sorry Nevermore didn’t work out for you, Wednesday.
I’m sure your mother will be very disappointed.
And so am I.
[lachrymose music playing]
[Xavier sighs]
Xavier… I’m not sure how much time we have.
Thing distracted the guards and is looping the cameras.
I know you’re not the Hyde.
Tyler used me to frame you. He is the actual Hyde.
How do you know?
I saw it in a vision when he kissed me.
I’m… glad you were getting some action while I was falsely accused.
I should’ve believed you.

But since you seem to have some psychic connection to the Hyde, I was curious if you’ve drawn
anything that might shed light on this?
You want my help?
You ruined my life!
No.
I tried being your friend.
Look where that got me.
This isn’t about us, Xavier.
No, it’s about you!
Every time you get involved, people get hurt.
You’re toxic.
All you ever do is make things worse.
Tyler warned me something bad was coming. I think…
I don’t care!
Do you want to stop this? Then leave.
Go far away and never come back.

Do you understand?
That can’t happen if you’re not here.
That’s how you save everyone, okay?
So, go.
Leave!
[disbelieving scoff]
[tense music builds, fades away]
[typewriter dings]
[clasp locks]
I can’t believe I’m actually going to miss your creepy, lifeless eyes waking me up.
It won’t be the same without you.
So I assume you’ll be moving in with Yoko.
Leaving me in the past.
Not ever.
What about you?
Will you forget about me?

Enid… the mark you have left on me is indelible.
Anytime I grow nauseous at the sight of a rainbow
or hear a pop song that makes my ears bleed,
I’ll think of you.
[subdued, whimsical music playing]
Thanks.
I guess.
I always believed relying on other people to be a sign of weakness.
That inevitably they would lead me to disappointment.
Turns out I’ve been the disappointment.
Are you kidding me?
I’ve learned so much from you.
Part of it is admittedly criminal behavior,
but… most people spend their entire lives pretending to give zero effs,
and you literally never had an eff to give.

Any chance you’ve got some sort of sneaky plan to elude Weems?
Xavier’s right.
This prophecy cannot come true if I’m not here.
But it kills me to leave when Tyler is still walking around free.
If he tries anything,
we have a school full of gorgons, vampires, and werewolves,
ready and waiting.
We’ve got this, Wednesday. I promise.
On a good note,
I got a text from Eugene’s moms.
He woke up last night.
Maybe Weems’ll let you drop by on your way to the station.
[Thing snapping insistently]
I think we’re all set.
[Enid] Thing,
I’m going to miss our makeup tutorials.

And you better keep sending me moisturizing tips.
Stay in touch, okay?
So, we’re gonna…
You’re right.
Not hugging is kind of our thing.
The plan wasn’t to get you expelled.
We’re sorry.
The Nightshades need to be ready for what’s coming.
Or a lot of people are going to die.
I’m so glad I caught you.
I was weeding my wolfsbane, and I just completely lost track of time.
This is a parting gift.
White oleander, one of nature’s deadliest.
It also symbolizes destiny and renewal.

You’re a very talented young woman, Wednesday.
I can’t wait to see what you do next.
[Weems] Wednesday.
This time I’m personally escorting you to your train.
I have one final favor.
[sighs]
[Eugene] Wednesday!
Eugene.
Glad to see you’re finally awake.
I heard you visited all the time.
Don’t ever mention it again.
[chuckles]
Listen, I’ve been meaning to tell you…
I shouldn’t have gone to the dance. I should have been with you.
When the dance floor calls, you gotta answer.
It’s not your fault. It’s the monster’s.

It’s actually called a Hyde.
It’s still out there. You can’t go back to Nevermore.
Not even to check on your bees.
And you have to listen to me this time.
I thought hummers were supposed to stick together.
[somber music playing]
That night in the woods,
someone set fire to that cave.
Yes, Dr. Kinbott.
It’s so crazy that it was her.
I don’t really remember any of it.
I just saw someone wearing black and those boots.
What about her boots?
There was an explosion of light
and just for a moment,

I saw that they weren’t black.
They were red.
[sinister music building]
[door closes]
Wednesday.
I thought you’d be halfway to New Jersey by now.
You can drop the act, Laurel.
I should have known it was you.
Faking your death,
securing a job at Nevermore,
unlocking a Hyde.
Typically, I have great admiration for well-executed revenge plots.
But yours was a bit extreme, even for my high standards.
Oh, dear.
Weems was right.
You do need psychiatric help.

Can’t throw out wild accusations without consequences.
They may be wild… but they’re true.
Tyler told me everything.
Initially I incorrectly accused Kinbott of using hypnosis to unlock him.
But you used a plant-derived chemical, didn’t you?
[scoffs]
[Wednesday] I know your father kept tabs on all the outcasts in town.
So I assume he told you about the Galpin family secret when you were just a girl.
That’s why you targeted Tyler.
You manipulated him by showing him what his mother truly was.
What Tyler didn’t realize is that truth wouldn’t free him.
I’m so sorry.
It would enslave him to you.
That was scary at first, so you used the cave and the shackles.
[chains rattling]
But eventually he willingly became your servant.
And when Kinbott came close to discovering the truth,
you had Tyler kill her and pin it on Xavier.
Ugh. That’s enough.
Tyler, honey, make Mama happy and shut her up.
Permanently.
He’s not on your side.
Tyler will do anything for me.
Remember what I told you?
I showed you who you really are.
What they did to your mother…
[whispering] The outcasts made you a monster.
If you only hate outcasts, why is he killing normies as well?
They’re just pawns in a bigger game.
Just like you, Wednesday.
Once again, you’ve underestimated the situation.

You were never getting on that train.
I sent Tyler to intercept you.
I never made it to the station.
Heard enough?
[dramatic, revelatory music playing]
Your slave is probably still at the station.
Don’t make this more difficult than it already is, Marilyn.
My name is Laurel!
[sharp stinger]
[grunting]
[Weems gasping]
[Wednesday] Principal Weems! Principal Weems!
[Weems shuddering]
[Weems exhales softly]

Nightshade poisoning.
[Laurel] A fitting end, don’t you think?
[clang]
[sinister music playing]
[upbeat pop music playing faintly]
[both chuckling]
[claws rasp]
Whoa.
Are you okay?
You’re not gonna, like, wolf out on me, are you?
It is a full blood moon.
I’m okay, I think.
But this is helping.
[“Flight of the Bumblebee” playing as ring tone]
[Enid chuckles]
[phone chimes]
Hey! Eugene, how are you?
Have you seen Wednesday?
No, she left this afternoon. Didn’t she swing by to see you?
Listen, Principal Weems and her went and confronted Ms. Thornhill.
But I haven’t heard a peep from either of them.
Why would they confront Ms. Thornhill?
Because she’s behind everything that’s happened.
She’s the bad guy… bad woman.
She’s just a really bad person.
Okay. Ajax and I will go check out the conservatory.
Yo. Bee boy, welcome back.
What’s he doing in your room?
Um…
[door opens]
Wha…?
[rousing music playing]
Slow down! What happened?
Principal Weems?
What the hell is going on?
What about Wednesday?
Tyler and Thornhill took her?
Where?
Crackstone’s crypt, what the heck?
Who are the Nightshades?
I’ll… I’ll explain on the way.
Come on.
Guys. Guys?
Calm down, Eugene.
That gorgon is a moron.
It… It could be dangerous.
If Enid’s right, and Wednesday’s been taken,

we need to call the sheriff.
Mom, I’ve got to go.
Wednesday’s my only friend, and if she’s in trouble, I’ve got to help.
It’s hive code.
[rousing music fades away]
[Wednesday inhales groggily]
[manacles clatter]
[Wednesday seething]
Kind of a déjà vu thing we got going on, huh?
Except I won’t cry and whine like a child.
[Laurel] Tyler, go wait by the boat.
Yes.
Listen to your master and be a good little Hyde.
[jittery, creepy music playing]
[Laurel] I have to admit…

[door opens]
…that shape-shifting stunt with Weems almost worked.
[door closes]
But as my father always said,
“If you want to outsmart an outcast, you got to out-think ’em.”
You know, we have roots that go all the way back to Joseph Crackstone.
So you come from a line of psychotic killers too.
Joseph Crackstone was a visionary,
dedicated to protecting normies from outcasts
until his life was cut short
by your ancestor, Goody Addams.
And then, to add insult to injury,
they stole his land to build that abomination of a school.
But,
throughout the centuries,
my family has remained committed to Crackstone’s mission.

My brother died serving that cause.
I decided to take a different approach.
The supernatural.
Tyler’s been collecting these body parts to resurrect Crackstone.
The one man who nearly succeeded in eradicating the outcasts.
You can’t wake the dead.
Believe me, I’ve tried.
I believe your ancestor Goody Addams would disagree.
Goody’s Book of Shadows.
You’re the one that stole the original from Pilgrim World.
It wasn’t enough for Goody to kill Crackstone.
She had to curse his soul too.
What does this have to do with me?
My dear Wednesday,
you are the key.

Your arrival at Nevermore set the chubby wheels of my plan in motion.
Goody sealed Crackstone in his sarcophagus with a blood lock.
Only one of her direct descendants can open it.
You are the key.
A living descendant on the night of a blood moon.
So… I bided my time,
and I made you feel special
until you were ready to be sacrificed.
[music swells]
[grunting] Damn it.
[Galpin] Quiet!
Santiago, what’s up?
Sir, we got a situation.
Eugene Ottinger’s mom just called, frantic.
Something’s going on at Nevermore.
Get a couple cars over there ASAP.

That’s just it, I can’t.
The tires on the squad cars have been slashed. Every damn one.
All right, I’m on my way.
[tires screech]
[siren wailing]
[sinister music continues]
[grunting]
[grunts]
[grunts]
[low, arcane rumble]
[crypt lock sizzling]
[Wednesday panting]
[Laurel grunts]
[chanting invocation in Latin]
[crypt clatters]
[arcane power pulsing]
[thunder booming]
[crackling]
[ominous choral music playing]
[choir crescendos]
[Laurel] I am of your blood.
I have summoned you to rid the world of outcasts once and for all.
[Laurel gasps]
My vengeance will be swift and true.
As will mine.
[arcane power pulses]
Goody Addams.
You haunt me still.
You will suffer the same fate you bequeathed me.
Now burn in the eternal fires of hell.

[blade twists, flesh rends]
[grunts]
Where you belong.
[grunting weakly]
[Laurel] Sweet dreams, Wednesday!
I can’t believe you’re in a secret society and you didn’t tell me.
Because, you know,
it’s secret.
[Enid] Bianca, Davina…
and Kent?
Seriously, even Kent is here?
How exclusive is this club?
So, what’s the deal with Thornhill being a psycho?
She murdered Weems and then took Wednesday to Crackstone’s crypt.
We have to get everyone in the school to safety before it’s too late.
[Ajax] This is what’s coming.
[Kent] So do we pull the fire alarms?
We don’t want to cause a panic and alert Tyler or Thornhill.
So how do we get everyone out?
We’ll use our siren song to convince them.
Thing and I will go look for Wednesday.
Okay, Nightshades forever.
[all snap in unison]
Seriously, a secret snap too?
[faint voice] Wednesday.
Are you here to take me to the other side?
Listen, Crackstone must be stabbed through his black heart.
It is the only way he will be vanquished now and forever.
Is your spectral vision impaired? I’m dying.
Your necklace.
It is a powerful talisman.
My mother told me it’s for conjuring visions.
It is also a conduit for conjuring spirits.
It will allow me to pass through you and heal you.
Just know, once I do, you will never see me again.
The school needs you, Wednesday.
[delicate, emotional music playing]
[rousing music rises]
[blade wrenches free]
[gasps]
[wispy, ethereal rushing]
[gasping]
[Xavier] Why’re we stopping in the middle of the woods?
You tracking your little monster?
You shut it.

Hey, wait. Wait!
Hey! What about me?
What… [grunts]
Oh, you asshole!
Come on, let’s move quickly and calmly, all right?
Good job! Let’s keep moving.
[teacher] Bianca!
What the hell’s going on?
Danger is on its way. [echoing] No time to delay.
[distorted audio echoes]
Follow me. Come on, faster.
[branch snaps]
[yelps]
[pained grunt]
[bones snapping, flesh stretching]
Oh my God.
Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
It’s happening!
Thing, I’m wolfing out!
[keening howl]
[Enid’s howl echoing]
Laurel said you were dead.
I’m feeling much better now.
You’re like a cockroach.
Please, flattery will get you nowhere.
This will not end well for you.
[clothing fraying]
[bestial snarl]
[roars]
[snarls]
[tense music builds]

[heroic music plays]
[snarls]
Enid?
[delicate music plays]
Enid!
I need to get back to the school.
I can’t tell you how I’ve longed for this moment,
what it means for my family.
[distorted] Silence, woman!
Be gone, or I will cut thy tongue from thy wretched mouth!
Never meet your heroes.
[students screaming, panicking]
I will expunge you abominations from this Earth!
[dark, overpowering music playing]
[Xavier kicking front seat]
[yells]
[urgent scrambling]
[Thing sliding squeakily]
Yes!
Yes!
Yes, Thing!
[distant roar]
[neck cracking, distending]
[gunshot]
Tyler.
Son, is that really you?
[sharp slicing]
[snarls]
[claws whir]
[labored huffing]
[mournful music playing]

[grunting, snarling]
[Enid panting heavily]
[students clamoring, shouting]
[Wednesday] Howdy, pilgrim.
How canst thy heart still beat?
What demon sorcery is this?
Stay away from her!
No!
Oh my God!
I’m fine. Go. Get them out of here!
Now!
Okay!
Come on, guys. Let’s go! Go! Go!
[arcane magic pulses]
[malevolent cackling]
I will send you back to hell.
[hideous, gurgling wail]
[grunts]
[intense music playing]
[Crackstone’s flesh sizzling]
[blade twists wetly]
[death rattle]
[breathing shakily]
[gun cocks]
You brought a gun to a sword fight.
It’s probably the first smart decision you’ve made today.
I might not get to kill all the outcasts,
but at least I’ll get to kill you, Wednesday.
[bee buzzing]
[yelps]
[buzzing intensifies]
[bee stings piercing flesh]
[panicked yelping]
Yeah, that’s what you get for messing with Nevermore.
Bitch.
[Laurel whimpering]
Hummers stick together, right?
[Laurel panting, clamoring]
I’ll take it from here.
Maybe we should call the sheriff?
Turn around, Eugene.
[music builds]
[thud]
[low, somber music playing]
[Ajax] Enid?
[tender, wondrous music playing]

Where’s Wednesday?
[music intensifies]
[footsteps approaching]
I hate to admit,
but I am gonna miss Principal Weems.
She could be a real pain.
But she was tough.
And she died for the one thing she truly loved, this school.
For that, I have immense respect.
[Enid] She was one of us.
Now that classes are canceled for the semester,
you have to come visit me in San Francisco.
I can pretty much guarantee fog and drizzle every day.
Sounds tempting.
Bianca.
I owe you a thank-you.
We’re getting that fencing title next year.
So don’t let killing one supernatural pilgrim get to your head.
I hear you’re a free man now.
Yup. All charges dismissed.
Listen.
When I was in the cell I said a lot of… things.
Being your friend should come with a warning label.
But… I don’t know a lot of people who would take an arrow for me. So…
Welcome to the 21st century, Addams.
[gentle, quirky music playing]
My number’s in there already.
That’s a bold move.
I hope you’re not expecting me to call.
No, never.
I’d settle for a text, though.
You know what a text is, right?
Goodbye, Xavier.
Hey, are you going to be back next semester?
Yes? No? Maybe?
[grimly grandiose music playing]
[Wednesday] My very first stalker.
Maybe this forced vacation will be more interesting than I imagined.
Unlike my novel, not every thread has been tied up,
nor every question answered.
Secrets are still lurking in the dark corners of Jericho.
[siren blaring]
Were Laurel Gates and Tyler just pawns in a bigger game?
Will today’s stalker become tomorrow’s nemesis?
I know the suspense is killing you.


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EP 01 (Wednesday’s Child is Full of

[heavy footfalls echoing]

[heavy footfalls continue echoing]

[school bell rings]

I don’t know who they were, honest.

Pugsley, emotion equals weakness.

[jock] You scared, kid? Scared?

[school bell rings]

Leave this to me.

[“Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien” by Édith Piaf playing]

♪ Non, rien de rien… ♪

[jock 1] Yo, Dalton, look.

This is a closed practice.

The only person who gets to torture my brother is me.

♪ Non, rien de rien ♪

♪ Non, je ne regrette rien ♪

♪ Car ma vie, car mes joies ♪

[whistle blowing frantically]

[elegant music swells, fades away]

[jauntily macabre theme music playing]

[radio squawks, playing “In Dreams” by Roy Orbison]

♪ Then I drift away ♪

[passenger singing along] ♪ Into the magic night ♪

[both] ♪ A silent prayer ♪

♪ Then I fall asleep to dream ♪

[birds thudding in time to music]

♪ That you said goodbye… ♪

Darling, how long do you intend on giving us the cold shoulder?

Lurch, please remind my parents that I’m no longer speaking to them.

I promise you, my little viper, you will love Nevermore.

Won’t she, Tish?

Of course. It’s the perfect school for her.

Why? Because it was the perfect school for you?

Maybe you’ll even make some friends.

Nevermore is like no other boarding school.

It’s a magical place.

It’s where I met your mother.

And we fell in love.

You guys are making me nauseous.

Not in a good way.

Darling, we aren’t the ones who got you expelled.

That boy’s family was going to file attempted murder charges.

How would that have looked on your record?

Everyone would know I failed to get the job done.

[man] Just over here is fine.

You sure you want to get out here?

That school for outcasts?

Huh. That’s a polite way of putting it.

I never had a problem with outcasts.

My counselor at summer camp was a werewolf.

[chuckles wryly] Thanks.

[low, menacing music playing]

[gate hinges creak]

[ominous music builds]

[sighs] At least it’s turning into a beautiful day.

[playfully gloomy music playing]

Wednesday is certainly a unique name.