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Editing Mixed Sentence Constructions

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Editing Mixed Sentence Constructions

Sentences with mixed constructions have sections that, either in meaning or grammatical

structure, do not fit together. These mistakes frequently happen when a writer starts a sentence in

one way and then inadvertently takes a different grammatical turn later on (Futrell et al, 2021).

Sentence construction like this can take away from a piece that is otherwise well-analyzed. From

my rhetorical analysis, I have identified the following sentences for editing:

1. Original: "Kennedy's speech resonated with the nation's spirit and is rife with sorrow and

impassioned eloquence."

This sentence mixes tenses and can confuse the time frame — it starts with past tense

("resonated") and then shifts to present tense ("is rife"). Here's a revision for consistency and

clarity:

Revised: "Kennedy's speech resonated with the nation's spirit, suffused with both sorrow and

impassioned eloquence."

Just Because . . . Doesn’t Mean

2. Original (Example from my rhetorical analysis): "Kennedy's young vigor and charisma

pervaded his presidency and shaped his vision for America—one of equality and

progress."

While this sentence isn't a classic "Just because... doesn’t mean," it does present an opportunity

to apply the logic of not assuming causation or correlation:

Revised: "Although Kennedy's presidency was pervaded by his young vigor and charisma, it was

his vision for an America of equality and progress that defined his term."
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Is/When Constructions

3. Original: "The inaugural address is inseparable from the context of its delivery — a time

when the Iron Curtain's shadow loomed large and the specter of nuclear war was an ever-

present reality."

The "is when" construction can sometimes be ambiguous or weak. Here’s a clearer version:

Revised: "The significance of the inaugural address stems from the context of its delivery, a

period dominated by the looming shadow of the Iron Curtain and the persistent threat of nuclear

war."

In each case, the revisions aim to enhance clarity by ensuring that each part of the sentence

supports a coherent structure, removing ambiguity, and maintaining consistent verb tenses.
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References

Futrell, R., Gibson, E., Tily, H. J., Blank, I., Vishnevetsky, A., Piantadosi, S. T., & Fedorenko, E.

(2021). The Natural Stories corpus: a reading-time corpus of English texts containing rare

syntactic constructions. Language Resources and Evaluation, 55, 63-77.