The Gift of Singleness Manuscript

The gift of singleness
CONTENTS
Contents ......................................................................1
Preface ........................................................................1
What Are You Waiting For? ...................................... 4
The Many Troubles of Singles ................................. 10
The Purpose .............................................................27
Unashamedly Single .................................................37
The Blessedness of Your Single Season ..................48
How To Utilize Your Single Season ........................56
Always Remember Past Faithfulness ......................62
Stop Waiting, Start Occupying ................................74
1
PREFACE
LIFE
Life is awesome and can be scary.
Life is beautiful and can be ugly.
Life is magical and can be plain.

Life is savoury and can be unkind.
Life springs pleasantness

Life springs unpleasantness
Life radiates colour.

Life oozes blandness
Every single day brings its own music.

Melody lies in our everyday living.
That’s life.
Life is just being Life.
The beauty of life can be lost to us when we focus

on scary things, such as being single. Yes, being
single can be scary as it is seen to be a lonely, and
unpalatable season. The single season is a season
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diseased by the society, leave as soon as you can

they say. It’s not a season to dwell in or lingers in,
they say. It’s a season of no expectation, oh there’s
one expectation! Here, get married already!
This book is about living a fulfilling life even, and
especially, in your single season.
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ACT ONE
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
A man’s heart deviseth his way: But the LORD directeth
his steps.
Proverbs 16:9 KJV
ACT ONE SCENE ONE

NARRATOR: As part of the National Youth
Service Corps programme, Nigerian youth’s
graduates are camped in different states across the
country. In a state in Northern Nigeria, campers
are seen in the orientation camp resting after a long
period of lectures and seminars. Lena, short for
Helena, has just gotten a call from her youth pastor
in the university campus.
“A brother is coming for your hand in marriage,
he’s serious and ready. Go and pray”. That was all
he said.
“Sir, do I know him?” Lena asked.
He repeated, “Go, and pray. You won’t marry your
enemy”.
“A brother is coming… marriage is here! ... Is it
Tomi? No way, that one is too strict, and never
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smiling. Maybe, Dele? Maybe, maybe…” Lena says

jumping enthusiastically.
“It’s time for parade. You no hear the bell abi?
Soldiers are coming for you.” Lena’s reverie is cut
short. She is brought back from her dreamland.
She runs to the field elated. “I will soon get married”
she soliloquies. She sees her friend Tola, who calls
out to her.
“Hey! Lena!” “Hi, Tola!” The two friends talk about
life in camp and how they can’t wait to leave.
Out of the blues, Lena asks; When will you marry?
“Marry? When will you marry?” Tola retorts.
“I mean you, if you were to fix a date, when would
it be?” Lena presses.
“Lena when will you keep this your marriage
thoughts to yourself?” Tola asked.
“Just answer.” Lena insists.
“Okay! Maybe two years or even five,” Tola replies.
“Two years is too long please, what will you be
waiting for? You want to remain single for another
two years? You will be so lonely, sad, unhappy,
and grumpy; you will so wish you were dead.” Lena
chimes.
“Taaaaa, it’s not that bad” Tola replies.
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“Tola it is! It’s like a disease!” Lena emphasizes.

“Haba Lena! Stop already. It’s not like you have a
fiancée," Tola replies.
“What if I do? “
“Hahaha, please! Please jor!” Tola laughs
sarcastically.
“I’m serious”
Tola: I am serious too; a guy spoke to you today
and you are already daydreaming.
Lena: No guy spoke to me.
Tola: My point exactly. You don’t have any guy,
stop this marriage talks.
Lena: But I would really love to get married ASAP!
Tola: Awwwwwn, but you will need a guy. Girl, you
can’t marry yourself.
Lena: Well, about that.
Tola: What about it? Cutting Lena short. Even if
you meet a guy in this camp, you can’t marry today
na.
Lena: Never mind.
Tola: Oh, did I say something wrong?
Lena: Maybe.
Tola: Girl wake up! Stop disturbing me about
marriage talk when you don’t even have a fiancée.
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Lena: Well, about that, you need to let me talk.

Tola: This is getting serious, pls do talk.
Lena: Well, our fellowship pastor called me.
Tola: School fellowship? Talk jor.
Lena: He said I should pray that a brother came to
him to ask for his permission to come marry me.
Tola: Permission to marry or court you?
Lena: What’s the difference?
Tola: Never mind. No wonder you are elated. I’m
so happy for you.
Lena: Thank you, you will be my bride’s maid.
Tola: Slow down o. I don’t understand you and
marriage again. You don’t even know this person.
Lena: I’m trusting God.
Tola: Please getat jor. What are you trusting God
for?
Lena: Well… well… that he will be someone I
love.
Tola: That’s not how marriage works o. I think we
should call your parents.
Lena: ‘For what? Something I just got to know.
Tola: My point exactly. Give it some time.
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Lena: I sha don’t want to be single for more than 6

months after this camp, and God has answered my
prayers.
Tola: Osheyyy, prayer warrior.
Lena: Na grace.
Tola: I see, and the result of over jumping in
fellowship.
Lena: I don’t know why you always say that.
Tola: But it’s true.
Lena: I still don’t know what you are talking about
Tola.
Tola: Okay o, I’m just practicing my bride’s maid
duty.
Lena: Whatever! I just really don’t want to be
single. Singleness can be miserable.
Tola: I don’t totally agree.
Lena: You don’t have to agree. Gosh! It’s a disease
season.
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NARRATOR:
Lena really got us there, didn’t she? How can the
single season be likened to a disease, a sad season,
a death - wishing season? Well, you can’t blame
Lena, that’s the narrative the society feeds us with,
and unfortunately, we take it in hook, line, and
sinker. It is the narrative most singles are running
from, and hence rushed into a marital union
without purpose and without exploring the
blessing of their single season. After all, who wants
to experience such a diseased season? Is your single
season indeed a disease or a gift? This book will
help you in identifying the bliss and superpowers
in your single season despite what society says.
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ACT TWO
THE MANY TROUBLES OF SINGLES

I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up
all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with
people who make you feel all alone.
Robin Williams
ACT TWO SCENE ONE

NARRATOR: Lena lay on her bed reading a book
pastor Sam gave her. She was so lost in thoughts in
the fellowship today that she wasn’t surprised
when the pastor said she should wait and see him
after service. The need for counselling is obvious
too; after all she’s single and lonely. Her
countenance must have been telling on her, little
wonder he gave her this article to read. When did
she become such an open book? Just when?
She was determined to read the article though, but
her thoughts are far away from the content. She
just needs to find a man; she doesn’t need any
stupid book on being a happy single. She’s only
unhappy because she’s single, once she finds a
man, she will be happy.
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“Well, I need to prepare the family dinner first,

with Mum off to visit friends.” Lena soliloquizes.
“Tina! Tina!!” She calls out to her younger sibling as she
walks into the kitchen.
Tina: Yes?
Lena: I need your help in the kitchen.
Tina: Really? Now? Do you know what time it is?
Lena: What time?
Tina: It’s almost dinner time. Mum prepared
dinner already and she is with Alex’s Mum in the
garden.
Lena: Really? Lena made for the front door excitedly.
“Mum, I’m so sorry I …” She stopped short when she
saw her Mum with a group of women, and not just Alex’s
Mum.
“Too late to turn back now.” she soliloquized. She
braced up as she knows the group will not let her go without
some probing, especially with Madam Doyin in attendance.
Lena Mum: Oh! You are awake. I left you to your
beauty sleep.
Lena: Good evening mas. I didn’t realize you had
visitors, Mum.
Woman A: Good evening, Lena. j
Woman B: How are you, my daughter?
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Woman C: Hello dear

“Thank you, ma” Lena replied all.
Madam Doyin: How is your boyfriend? When are
we meeting our son in law?
Lena: Son in law? Oh yes, soon ma, very soon.
MD: That’s my girl, you know is not good for a
lady to be alone.
Alex’s Mum: I totally agree, by now; you ought to
be chasing ten thousand with your husband.
Lena: Really?
MD: Yes, don’t you read your Bible?
Mrs. Chika: Children of nowadays are always on
phone, no time for the Bible at all.
MD: You can only chase ten thousand in marriage
Lena: Well, just the exact thing I needed to hear,
Enjoy yourself ma. Lena fled into the house. She met her
sister at the doorway laughing heartily.
Lena: What’s funny?
Tina: Why are you running? Tina asked sarcastically.
Lena: You are not serious. You could have warned
that we have a whole army outside.
Tina: And miss you being all ruffled up like this?
No way.
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Lena: I see. You made mummy Doyin lecture me

about chasing ten thousand.
Tina: Yours is fine nau, she sat me down and told
me to stop playing and settle down now.
Lena: She did not! For Christ’s sake you are writing
pre varsity exams.
Tina: Well, she doesn’t want me to be single like
you.
Lena: Tinaaa.
Tina: Yes now.
Lena: Whatever! What else did she say?
Tina: Well, that being single can be lonely and
tiresome, so to settle down on time. Get a boy in
my first year in school and settle down. How it’s
totally unfulfilling being a single. I think she’s right
though.
Lena: You do?
Tina: Yes. Look at you for a moment. You are
always looking sad and all.
Lena: I don’t always look sad.
Tina: Yes, you do
Lena: Well. It’s not because I am single.
Tina: I think it is. You are waiting for marriage to
happen.
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Lena: I should, considering everything I hear in this

house. You aren’t helping matters too.
Tina: Sincerely, you used to be a lovely sister full of
live and joy.
Lena: I still am.
Tina: Are you trying to convince yourself?
Lena: Do I really look sad? No, I don’t.
Tina: You need to snap out of this self-wallowing
and self-pity state, else these people will always get
under your skin. After all, na single you single, you
no kill person.
Lena: Abi o my sweet sister.
Tina: Talking of sweet, I saw this sweet looking
brother eyeing you in church today.
Lena: Go and get me a glass of water.
Tina: You will need a house help to follow you to
your husband house o. Tina reeled.
Lena: What’s your job?
Tina: The guy was putting on…
Lena: (interrupting Tina) Make sure it’s a cold water.
Tina: This is why you are still single, always
avoiding sweet topics.
Lena: What do you know about marriage? Ehn?
Get me water jor.
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Dad: What are you girls talking about? (Their Dad

said as he walked into the sitting room)
Lena: Hope we didn’t wake you up?
Dad: No, I wasn’t sleeping
Lena: okay’
Dad: so, what’s happening?
Lena: Dad, do you know that singles have a lot of
problems?
Dad: They do?
Lena: Yes, especially the ones dumped on them by
the society.
Dad: What do you mean?
Lena: Well, it’s just the society and its many
expectations.
Tina: Dad, she is the one allowing it to get to her.
Lena: I’m not.
Tina: You are. You are always locked up in your
room?
Dad: Tina, let your sister be
Tina: but…
Dad: Why are you having this discussion?
Tina: Well, because Mummy Doyin said she ought
to be chasing ten thousand with her husband by
now.
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Dad: But you are chasing thousands as a single nau

Lena: Am I?
Dad: You don’t know?
Lena: But I am still single.
Dad: That shouldn’t water down who you are,
besides you will definitely get married.
Lena: I will?
Dad: If you carry this self-doubt negative energy
around, you won’t be able to chase hundred talk -
less of ten thousand.
Lena: Dadddddddy
Dad: I think you should read about this season you
are and how to be an overcoming single.
Lena: I will definitely do that.
Dad: Please do. You are doing great my dear.
Lena: Thanks Dad.
Dad: You are welcome. Is your Mum still out
there?
Tina: Yes.
Dad: Tina please, get me water and bring it to the
garden.
Tina: Okay Dad.
Dad: Lena, do you want to join me outside?
Lena: No, Dad, unless you want to call the twins.
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Dad: No, I spoke with them an hour ago.

Lena: Okay o
Dad: Young lady spend this money Mr. Walter said
as he left for the garden.
ACT TWO SCENE TWO

NARRATOR: In the cool hours of Saturday’s
morning, Tina went for pre - varsity tutorial with
her friend. Students are seen chattering in groups
in the classroom.
Miriam: How are you coping with staying at home
and waiting for admission?
Tina: Coping? How? Well, I’m doing just fine, you?
Miriam: Well, I am being pressured.
Tina: Pressured? Over what?
Miriam: Admission of course
Tina: Are you the one marking the scripts?
Miriam: You don’t get it. All my cousins are in the
University. You see?
Tina: I see nothing.
Miriam: My Auntie was saying that I should be in
the Uni by now. She wants me to go to my cousins’
school.
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Tina: That’s a great idea

Miriam: But…?
Tina: ‘You know already. Stop allowing pressures!
Miriam: Why are you so calm though?
Tina: Maybe I’m tired of people allowing people
and society get to them.
Miriam: What do you mean?
Tina: Well, we’ve written our exams, and we are
preparing for the last phase of the admission
process. It’s not like you can jump the process and
admit yourself to a varsity.
Miriam: I know, right?
Tina: We have to wait for the admission list.
Miriam: The waiting is the issue.
Tina: It’s almost over.
Miriam: I pray.
Tina: You will be fine, let’s study pls.
ACT TWO SCENE THREE

At home, Tina sat with her sister as they watch
Netflix.
Tina: After my exams, I will take myself to the
cinema.
Lena: Allow the exam to come first.
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Tina: Of course, it will

Tina: Miriam and I were discussing at the tutorial
about how she’s being pressured to going to the
Uni.
Lena: And? Doesn’t she want to gain admission?
Tina: but we are still writing admission exams and
all, it’s not like she can admit herself to the Uni.
Lena: Ehn ehn, she should tell whoever is
pressuring her then.
Tina: That doesn’t change the fact that she’s being
pressured.
Lena: Well, apart from the pressure, they probably
meant well.
Tina: Maybe, but she is unhappy.
Lena: She better not allow it to get to her. She’s one
of the most studious people I know.
Tina: You get, right? I tried encouraging her
though.
Lena: She will be fine. Invite her over on Sunday.
Tina: I will, maybe she can learn from your
situation.
Lena: How? I have a situation?
Tina: You, being pressured to get married.
Lena: Oh my God! Tina! How did we get here?
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Tina: You know what I mean, big sis.

Lena: Tina, it’s not my fault that the society doesn’t
like waiting. They formulate a timeline and expect
everyone to be in a timeline.
Tina: Really?
Lena: When you aren’t in any timeline, you will be
pressured to step into one.
Tina: I see.
Lena: It’s left to you to take your life into your own
hands. You have to look at the society, its
expectations, conceptions and misconceptions;
and decide to live a purpose-driven life.
Tina: Big sis, what happened to you, where is this
boldness and coming from?
Lena: Knowledge is power.
Tina: What misconceptions does the society have
about singles?
Lena: Quite a number
Tina: Tell me jor.
Lena: Well…
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NARRATOR: Being single gives rise to many

challenges. Challenges that can be self-imposed or
society imposed. Some of the many troubles of
singles are;
Singles and Loneliness
The feeling of being lonely is the constant
companion and trouble of singles. If you are single
and feeling lonely, you are not alone. It probably
doesn’t help that almost all your close friends are
in relationships or already married.
There are a lot of singles who see loneliness as a
misery, and in order to cure that loneliness, they
jump into marriage. These singles say, Well, I'm
lonely. I need to get married because I'm lonely.
They leave the single season in greater misery with
the thought that marriage is the cure. They get
married indeed and often are far lonelier after
marriage than before, because somebody so close
becomes so indifferent.
Some, in a bid to cure loneliness and void in
marriage, decide to give birth. Innocent children!
However, being single doesn’t necessarily have to
be synonymous with being lonely. Also, do not
look at marriage as the solution to your trouble.
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No, it isn't! It is probably the multiplication of it.

This is because marriage intensifies human
weakness as it puts you under intimate scrutiny.
Marriage will expand your loneliness if you have
not learnt to maximize your loneliness as a single.
Marriage, you see, is the solution to only one thing,
just one, and that is, to live another fulfilling
season. Your single state is a season which deserves
to be fulfilling too.
Singles and the Society

If you fail to discover the purpose of your single
season, you will live according to the dictates of the
society. Well, according to the society, your single
season is a period to Wait to Get Married. It is a
burden the society places on singles which dictates
that the single season should be short with no long-
term purpose. After all, you are only waiting to get
married and should be preparing to do so, why
invest so much in yourself as a single person? Why
live a purposeful single life? The society places no
expectation, no purpose whatsoever on a single
season. They say, “just wait enough to get married,
remember that there is a time limit after which the
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period of expectation will expire” Little wonder,

many singles fill the vacuum wallowing in
frustration, depression, aimlessness and
purposeless living.
Singles wait eagerly for the married season because
they believe that; “well, unlike the single season,
which is void of purpose, the married season is not
void.” They believe the married season is a
purposeful season since it is the season, where the
society expects you to start living; to give birth, take
care of your home, train your kids, and look
married. So, they carve that season and are bittered
towards their single season, cos at least the married
season has purposes unlike single hood which
seems to be a season in vacuum.
Singles and the Bible

How has the scriptures been misconstrued to
heighten the many troubles of the single season?
Let’s take a look at the scriptures.
For where two or three are gathered together in my name,
there am I in the midst of them. Matthew 18:20. KJV
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Doesn’t this look like a conspiracy theory? Even

the Bible? It seems the Bible isn't helping matters.
The above verse and more, are often quoted to
underscore how plain, empty, and defeating the
single season can be.
Also, the scripture in;

Ecclesiastes 4:9 says, two are better than one; because they
have a good reward for their labour. KJV
Two is better. Well, that means one is good. Most

singles see this scripture and totally hold on to the
misconception of two being better, and neglect
that if two is better, then one is good. Are you
doing the good in your single season? If you do the
good surely you will have a good reward for your
labour. Do the good and be a productive single. To
be the better “two”, you must be a good “one”.
Also, in.
Deuteronomy 32:30a, the scripture says; how should one
chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight,
KJV.
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The two shall surely put ten thousand to flight. Yes,

that’s what this popular scripture says. Such
injustice and inequality, you say? Where is the
injustice, why are you seeing only what the society
posits.
The same verse says, “one chase a thousand”. Why
then do you totally neglect the fact that one man
shall chase a thousand? Stop being so preoccupied
with becoming a two because you want to chase
ten thousand, to the extent that you completely
failed to chase a ten.
You aren’t even chasing a hundred, not to talk of a
thousand in your single season. Start chasing your
thousand as a single person, you are enough, and
you are capable.
Do you know what the Bible says in Joshua 23:10?
It says;
One man of you shall chase a thousand: for the LORD

your God, he it is that fighteth for you, as he hath
promised you. KJV
The Lord is so mindful of the singles that He says

one man shall chase and He the Lord will fight for
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that single person. He doesn’t expect you to

become a two before He starts fighting your
battles. He says while in your single season, I will
fight for you. God wants you to stop cowering,
instead stand tall and utilize that single season,
irrespective of what the society says.
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ACT THREE
THE PURPOSE
Without purpose, life has no meaning.
Rick Warren
ACT THREE SCENE ONE

“Thank you for the gift, Tola, it means lot to me.”
Lena said happily.
I’m glad you like them.
“Like? I love them! It’s so beautiful”.
Tola: Though I just got a call that they didn’t pack
the gift’s manual along with it.
Lena: Oh! I’m sure I will find my way around it.
Tola: Okay sis. Though they promised to deliver it
Lena: Only manual fa. Alright o
Tola: They will deliver it. I totally love the gift you
sent too, so very thoughtful of you.
Lena: I’m glad you did.
Tola: Kenny says to greet you.
Lena: My regards. We should all see soon.
Tola: We should, regards to Tina.
Lena: Both of you call each other o, I’m very sure.
Tola: Jealousy, bye jor.
Lena: Byeee.
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ACT THREE SCENE TWO

NARRATOR: Later, that day. Lena shows off the gift
Tola got her to her dad.
“A printer. My very own printer. This is so
thoughtful of Tola.” Lena said elatedly.
“What’s that?” her dad asked.
Lena: ‘It’s a gift from Tola. A printer.
Dad: Wow. I have a whole lot of documents to
print out.
Lena: Dad!
Dad: What?
Lena: It’s my personal printer.
Dad: So, your old man can’t use it too?
Lena: Dad, you know you can.
Dad: Anyway, how will you set it up?
Lena: I will call Mr Keme to help.
Dad: Alright. Talking of Keme, there’s this single’s
outing he told me to invite you to.
Lena: What do you two old men got to do with
singles matters?
Dad: Well, his nephew is the organiser.
Lena: Dad, please how well do you know this
nephew?
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Dad: You are going for a beautiful program, and

not to meet any nephew.
Lena: Dad, you know I love you right?
Dad: Okay?
Lena: But you need to stop being in my matter.
Last week it was Mum and her friends, now you.
What do you people want?
Dad: Probably because we want the best for you.
Lena: Really? Or you just want to get me married.
Dad: what’s bad about that? Okay, I will inform
Alex that you are not coming.
Lena: No problem, I will go. You and Mum need
to stop though. I will check my schedule and get
back to you, sir.
Dad: What schedule again? The program is
tomorrow morning.
Lena: Very convenient, just convenient.
Dad: Apologies for imposing on your majesty, but
you need to go out more.
Lena: Dad, why are you like this? she said as she
waltzed off to her room.
Dad: Leaving me here?
Lena: Mum, please, come keep your husband’s
company.
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ACT THREE SCENE THREE

NARRATOR: At the singles outing her dad’s friend
invited her to, Lena seems to be enjoying the outing despite
her initial reluctance. They’ve played varieties of outdoor
games, and now having some words of encouragement.
“Life is meant to be lived with all intentionality.

Some of you are allowing life to take the lead, you
need to allow God to take the wheels. Make
memories, laugh, be happy, meet people, relate.
That’s the purpose of this gathering. It’s a time for
you to create memories, intentionally.” The guest
speaker says.
“Beautiful words, until you lost the vibe to create
anything.” Lena muffled.
“Well, I think that’s why he said to be intentional
about it.” Sam interjected.
Lena: I perfectly understood all he said.
Sam: Hey, why so edgy? Calm down.
Lena: I’m perfectly calm, thank you.
Sam: Well, why don’t we create our own
memories?
Lena: Smooth, so smooth. I thought this is a
Christian gathering.
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Sam: So? Christian gatherings aren’t expressive?

Lena: You call this being expressive?
Sam: Anyway, my name is Sam.
Lena: I’m Lena, nice to meet you.
“Now, shall we all step out and have a beautiful
mind-blowing self-time. Don’t forget to mingle.”
The speaker echoed back.
Lena: What’s this? A physical dating app?
Sam: Why are you so opposed to fun?
Lena: I like fun, not just manipulative ones.
Sam: Manipulative?
Lena: Yes. As much as I don’t like being single, I
don’t like manipulative outings either.
Sam: You don’t like being single?
Lena: I detest it.
Sam: You don’t act like it though.
Lena: Well, never judge a book by its cover.
Sam: First, you are acting like you don’t need a
company.
Lena: I love having companies; I simply detest the
situation of single hood.
Sam: What’s there to detest about your single
season though? It’ a purpose filled season. A
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season where you should be whole. A season to

find yourself, to develop your relationship with
God. A ‘Me – time’ season. Why would you detest
such a beautiful season?
Lena: Sorry? Who are you again?
Sam: I already told you, my name.
Lena: You know what I mean.
Sam: Anyway, every season has its purpose. Create
time to know the purpose of that season. Ask the
Maker, the Creator of times and season for the
manual.
Lena: Hmmm
Sam: Do that and I can bet you; you won’t detest
the season anymore.
Lena: You speak with so much confidence.
Sam: God has not given us the spirit of fear.
Remember?
Lena: But of boldness?
Sam: Ask for grace for the season, cos this season
you are in, it’s a purposeful one.
Lena: So, it’s God’s purpose that I should be
single?
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Sam: It is God’s purpose that you live every season

you are in purposefully, and right now you are in
your single season. So, don’t despise it.
Lena: Hmmm.
Sam: I hope you are getting me.
Lena: Well, maybe. You do know that it’s not
entirely a palatable season?
Sam: I also know that it’s not to be despised, rather
it’s to be lived purposefully.
Lena: Hmmm
Sam: So, focus on what’s important. Be intentional
in this season. It’s a season entirely different from
the married season.
Lena: It’s not that simple.
Sam: Then, ask for the grace.
Lena: I will do just that. This program was not a
waste after all.
Sam: I’m glad cos we organised this program for a
purpose, especially the next item on the
programme.
Lena: What’s it about?
Sam: It’s about the Purpose.
33
NARRATOR: Everything that ever is or was, has

a purpose.
Purpose
The season of the single i.e., the unmarried season,
is not the same as the married season. Each has its
own purpose and cannot be interchanged for the
other. Therefore, when the purpose of a thing is
unknown, abuse of same is inevitable. Little
wonder singles place no expectation on themselves
and their single season.
In as much as you crave for marriage, your single
season matters a lot. You can’t place an object on
nothing and expect it to stand; it will crumble. You
cannot desire a productive married season when
your single season is left void and purposeless.
Even if your single season is for a year or more, it’s
not without purpose.
Your married season should build on the
foundation and terraces you had in your single
season. Life doesn’t start at married life, rather, life
continues. Some think that marriage itself is life's
purpose. Little wonder there's a lot of divorce
today.
34
You live a destiny-fulfilling single life when your

single season is lived purposefully.
In all your getting in life, get purpose. Live
purposefully and you won't trade any aspect of
your life for cheap barter. From childhood to single
hood to marriage, each hood has its purpose in our
lives.
Therefore, each hood must have a manifest effect
on us. To everything there is a season, and a time to every
purpose under the heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1 KJV
Your single season is the time to live, to maximize
potential, to discover and keep discovering you. It
is the time to be the best version of you. It is a time
to explore, to impact, to express yourself, to
embrace your inner being, to live and live for
others.
Being single is a time to learn, grow and develop
yourself into the person you will become. So, get a
life, develop a talent, travel the world, take your
parents to a fancy dinner, take a lesson, etc.
Your single season affords you more time to grow
in other areas of your life and to prepare for your
future, even your future as husband and father or
wife and mother.
35
A married person’s primary purpose, wherein lies

his joy and bliss, is his home. Singles aren't left out
either, a single primary purpose wherein lies
his/her joy and bliss is his/ herself.
36
ACT FOUR
UNASHAMEDLY SINGLE
You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to
anybody.
Maya Angelou
ACT FOUR SCENE ONE

Lena: I don’t understand how you guys will be on
break within a short period.
Tina: Short period?
Mum: Don’t mind her o. She wants all the attention
to herself.
Lena: Mum really. How will she learn if she keeps
coming home at every given opportunity?
Tina: It’s a month since I last came home o, besides
we are on break this time.
Mum: Lena, what’s your own sef. If she likes, let
her come home every day, as long as she’s not
missing classes.
Tina: Mum, I don’t miss classes o. I just miss you
guys.
Lena: Don’t you have friends?
Mum: Lena! It’s like you want me to talk.
Tina: Mum pls talk.
37
Lena: I’m just saying.

Mum: Wo, my daughter is allowed to come home
from school anytime, It’s you that I’m not sure of.
Tina: You sha want to hear am.
Lena: Mummy!!!
Mum: Why are you Mum - ing me? You are the
single pringle bullying your sister in her father’s
house.
Dad: Who is bullying who here?
Tina: Dad, it’s Lena.
Dad: Lena, when did you become a bully?
Lena: I can’t be single in peace in this house.
“Are you really single?” their Mum asked.
“I wonder too.” Dad echoed.
Lena: You people need to stop. I am single.
Mum: For how long, don’t you meet people at
work?
Dad: I like her confidence though.
Mum: My dear! Please don’t encourage this girl o.
Lena: You guys need to stop! Singleness is not
something to be ashamed of.
Tina: Mum, na single she single, she no kill person.
Mum: You can talk. When are you bringing that
friend of yours to come see us.
38
Tina: Which friend?

Mum: You thought I was given birth to yesterday?
Lena: You know that’s the reason she visits home
often? Right?
Mum: Really?
Dad: Why are you all speaking in riddles. What’s
happening here?
Lena: I want to go get some things at the store.
“Now?” Their parent echoed.
Tina: I will come with you.
Lena: I bet you will.
ACT FOUR SCENE TWO

Lena and Tina left for the supermarket.
Lena: How is school?
Tina: Hectic
Lena: Well, you come home more than most
students.
Tina: No way.
Lena: Yes way, I know it’s cos you are in one
imaginary relationship.
Tina: It’s not imaginary.
39
Lena: So, you are in a relationship? Well, if I don’t

know him, then it’s imaginary.
Tina Well, you will meet him soon. He is coming
to seek my hands in marriage.
Lena: Slow down baby girl. Marr what? You are
literally in 100 level.
Tina: I’m not too small. Well, it’s better to be young
and married than young and single and unmarried.
Tina shrugs
Lena: Where is this coming from? It’s okay to be
single, sweetheart.
Tina: I don’t want to be pressured the way you
have been. I don’t want to be single. Most of my
course mates are engaged.
Lena: If these are your reasons for getting into a
relationship and for considering marriage with that
poor innocent guy, then you are the one being
pressured.
Tina: How is he innocent?
Lena: Can’t you see? You are in a relationship with
him because you don’t want to be called single. To
be a single is not a disease my dear. It’s absolutely
nothing to be ashamed of.
Tina: Well, the society stigmatises single people.
40
Lena: It’s probably in your mind, besides people

are people, they always have opinions.
Tina: It’s not in my mind, this thing is real.
Lena: That’s not enough to jump into a
relationship and marriage. Tina, live your life and
leave people to their stigmatisation.
Tina: I will still introduce him to Mum and Dad.
Lena: Whenever you want to, I will suggest you
introduce him as a friend. Nothing formal.
Tina: Well…,
Lena: Well, what! What has come over you? How
are your studies coming up, seen any result yet?
Tina: Study is fine, campus is a whole ball game.
Lena: I know right. Uni is a part of numerous
journey you will take in life. Don’t allow its culture
to derail you.
Tina: What culture?
Lena: You know what I am talking about. You are
my wise sister, remember? Use your brain pls.
Tina: I just don’t want to be single.
Lena: Oh God! Being single is not something to be
ashamed of. I think you should read this.
41
NARRATOR: When Lena says Singleness is not

a thing to be ashamed of, it’s so true.
Unashamedly Single
There are singles who can't boldly say they are
single, some will even tell you they are in a
relationship and will be talking about their
fictitious relationship, when clearly, they aren't in
any. Single hood is not a season to be ashamed of.
If you are not in a relationship, you are not. Love
yourself enough to be who you are. It isn't the time
to go into hiding, neither is it the time to fold your
hands akimbo wishing on.
Single hood is not a time to be busy so as not to be
lonely. Rather, it is a time to be living. It's the time
to embrace life and live. You must be unashamedly
proud of your single hood. Single season is a time
to learn to love your own company.
Single hood is not a ‘Stop’ nor is it a ‘Wait’. It is a
journey. Single hood is life, it is living, it is time.
Life and time do not stop because you are single.
Time does not stop or pause for you to be married
and then pick up again. The issue is while some
complain in waiting, some get purposeful in their
42
waiting time. Oftentimes, singles put their life on a

pause and wait. Everyone says wait for marriage
and they literally wait and stop living and just wait
in fear and anxiety.
Waiting has been made to symbolize
unproductiveness, as though a bus-stop where you
are waiting for the bus (the marriage bus) to convey
you to the next stage or journey. Most people do
nothing when they are at the bus stop. They
literally just sit there waiting for the bus while
complaining about having to wait for the bus.
“Why do I have to wait for this bus? Why isn't the
bus waiting for me?”
You need to stop waiting and start doing. Your
single season is not a waiting period, it’s a doing
and acting period. It’s a productive period. Stop
pressing pause on your life because you are single.
Don’t wait for marriage before you press play.
Your single season is not a pause season.
You can be at the bus stop and develop your plan
for the week. You can be at the bus stop and read
halfway through a book or a whole book. You can
be at the bus stop and encourage the next person
waiting at the bus stop with you. Your single
43
season is not a wasteful, unproductive waiting

period. What are you waiting for? Why are you
waiting in anxiety, in sorrow, in sadness, in
hopelessness and in confusion? Have you
maximized the superpowers in your present
season? Have you? Stop waiting and start
occupying.
The single life is however greater than that; single
living is more than waiting at the bus stop. Being
single should not connote waiting, as the word
waiting literally means watching, staying, or
remaining in expectation. Stop waiting, stop being
stagnant, stop pausing on your life; start occupying.
To be unashamedly proud is to explore all that
God has deposited in you and maximise that time
to the fullest because you can never be single again.
It is a time to cherish, love and adore because it
doesn't come twice in your life. Therefore, make it
count. Your season of singleness should not be
viewed resentfully or with contempt. It should also
not be endured until marriage finally occurs. No! It
is not a time to be endured! If you believe in Christ,
you should know that Christ certainly did not look
at it that way, and as we work to put on more of
44
His mind (Philippians 2:5), we should not look at

it that way either. The single season should not be
a spectator season, nor should it be a passive
period.
Therefore, stand tall and be proud of this season,
you would be prouder if you lived it purposefully.
When you embrace single hood, you will gladly
leave the stage when you are ready, not because
you're lonely or pressured but because you’ve
discovered self; because you’ve discovered purpose
and because you want to live a purposeful married
life. Most especially because you trust, you will be
the help meet for the man and because you have
found your missing ribs in the woman (your future
spouse). A purposeful help – meet and a
purposeful found ribs.
You First
Seek to live for you first. The Bible says, love your
neighbour as YOURSELF. (Matthew 22:39)
there's a reason the Bible makes yourself as the
reference, as the standard.
Love your neighbour as yourself, but do you even
love yourself? You rather prefer to love someone
45
else? Start with you first. Drawing reference from

that commandment, your single season is a season
of yourself. Give yourself the example and taste of
love you plan to get during another season, because
you will need to replicate same and more in your
married season. If you fail to have a purposeful
single season, you may not be able to redeem the
time in your married season.
As a single person, you have to live for yourself
first. Cherish, care, and love yourself first. Your
single season is for you to feed yourself spiritually,
relationally, emotionally, physically, socially,
occupationally/professionally, and financially. It is
a season for you! It’s yourself season! It’s a time to
fuel your body, soul, and spirit for the journey
ahead. It’s not a purposeless time. It’s what you
fuel yourself with in your single season that carries
you in your married season. Imagine having or
living an empty single season. Don’t imagine it,
that’s why you are reading this book.
You are the first on the list! Give yourself peace,
grow yourself and make yourself proud of you.
Yourself is waiting to be loved by you so you can
have a reference point which you can draw from in
46
order to love another person, your neighbour and

most especially, your dream spouse. However,
most singles miss this blessing because they are
busy waiting to love someone else while completely
neglecting themselves.
Don't lay idle waiting to love someone while you
deprive yourself of love. Love yourself
intentionally, be full of love. Be so full of love for
you to the point of having enough to give out. Life
is beautiful, allow yourself to see it. Life is full of
peace, allow yourself to experience. Life is full of
challenges, don't run away from them. Loving you
isn't about being selfish, it is more than looking out
for yourself. It is about building yourself to realize
your full potential. It is about deliberately and
intentionally adding virtues and removing excesses
in you while journeying through life.
Don’t waste your current season because you’re
dying to jump onto the next season. Our society
has a calendar for everything, proclaiming that by
a certain age you need to get a degree, get married
and have children. Don’t succumb to the pressure;
it’s a trap. Maximize your singleness before it’s
over. Stop wishing away your single live.
47
ACT FIVE
THE BLESSEDNESS OF YOUR SINGLE
SEASON
I love being single. It’s almost like being rich.
Sue Grafton
NARRATOR: Lena flopped on her bed; it’d been

a long day at work. She stared at the power printer
Tola bought her some months back; its products
are the beautiful colourful pictures plastered all
over her room. Thanks to Tola for insisting the
manual was sent, she almost mistook the printer
for a mere document printer. Now, she relished
moments with just a glance around her room. She
made for the shower, stopped mid-way to pick up
her phone, missed calls?
“Oh Tola! Talk of the devil. Just give me a minute,”
she muttered as she made for the bathroom. After washing
her face and changing into something comfy, she dialled her
friend’s number.
Lena: How you dey madam? I just dey miss your
calls anyhow.
Tola: So, it was deliberate.
Lena: You can say that again, I love my Me - time.
48
Tola: Don’t be selfish.

Lena: I want to be. How is Alex?
Tola: He dey o, enjoying the sweetness I’m adding
to his life.
Lena: Abegi, Alex is the one adding more
sweetness to your life.
Tola: What type of friend are you? What happened
to women supporting women?
Lena: At the expense of the truth?
Tola: You used to be a strong feminist?
Lena: Who me? Feminist? You mean Femi, right?
Tola: Yeye girl. So, you don’t identify as a feminist?
Lena: No, I don’t. I prefer feminine.
Tola: I’m glad to hear that? Did you give that fresh
guy your number?
Lena: Which guy o Tola?
Tola: It’s absolutely not fair.
Lena: Which guy na?
Tola: You know so much about my love life, but I
don’t know about yours.
Lena: Girl, you are married. Besides, I just know.
Tola: No way
Lena: Well, there is nothing to know.
Tola: What about that guy?
49
Lena: I’m sure Sam won’t appreciate you calling

him that guy.
Tola: You even know his name, and you are
defending him.
Lena: We are friends, and…
Tola: You said that the last time.
Lena: Hey! Maybe you should calm down o.
Tola: It almost three months nau
Lena: The guy is married fa.
Tola: What?
Lena: Yes, I just didn’t want to mention that the
last time.
Tola: Why?
Lena: Because of your enthusiasm, and I wanted so
much to keep it that way.
Tola: Are you kidding me?
Lena: I know how much you want me to be
married.
Tola: Not to the extent of lying.
Lena: No lies, just omission.
Tola: That’s a lie jor. Why will you even do that?
Giving me useless hope.
Lena: I was so ashamed to say I’m still single. I
wanted to be in a relationship even if it’s a fake one.
50
Tola: Girl, I don’t give a hoot about any yeye

relationship.
Lena: Even if you do, I’m not in any yeye
relationship. I kept telling you the guy and I are
friends, but you won’t listen.
Tola: Well, I assumed you guys could be more.
Lena: And I left you to your assumption, thinking
you will let me be.
Tola: You know I’m not like that right?
Lena: I know, though I enjoyed the whole “how’s
your guy” thing while it lasted.
Tola: You aren’t serious. Wo, enjoy your single
pringle season o.
Lena: Says someone who is marriage glowing.
Tola: I am glowing because I married well.
Lena: I know right.
Tola: I want same, and even more for you, but you
must harness the blessings in that your single hood.
Lena: I should single-glow too.
Tola: Yes, yeye girl. There are a lot of blessings in
your single hood o.
Lena: Married woman, please what are the
blessings of my single season.
Tola: So, here it is.
51
NARRATOR: The single season is filled with so

many blessings, the blessedness of it cannot be
overemphasized.
The Blessedness of Your Single Season
The single season is a self-time and a God time, so
embrace it. God has a reason for every season and
the single season is the most blessed of all.
Singleness doesn’t have to be the dark ages of your
existence. In fact, it is a gift and a blessing. Don’t
spend undue amounts of time working on how to
move to the next season, while completely
neglecting the blessings in the present season. A
generous amount of time working on your present
season will definitely be of immense blessing to
you.
Singleness, like marriage, is God-designed and not
just an identity. Singleness does not stamp upon
the single person an identity any different from a
married person. Rather, it is designed of God to
prepare and equip you for the rest of your life.
Your single season may be years before thirty or
years after thirty, it is God designed. It is not a
waiting period, it an occupying period. Being
thankful for your single season and redeeming the
52
time as a single is not only wise and fulfilling, but

it is also pleasing to the God who designed this
special season of life.
There are numerous blessings attached to single
hood. You love God wholeheartedly. You bask in
your service to God. You give the time to grow
into that right path which you so desire.
God designed that season and definitely desires
that we utilize it to the fullest. You are single?
Don't stop living neither should you pause living!
You should make it a daring period, an audacious
period, not a period to go into hiding. It is
definitely not a period to limit yourself. It is a
period to soar, to fly, to build, to design, to create,
to name, to be productive and be purposeful
because it is God-designed.
Be the best version of yourself always, at every

stage of your life, don't waste any part of your life
waiting for the next stage.
Practice self-care, go on a date with yourself and
never stop believing in love - because it's
completely possible to live happily in your single
season while still being open to relationships.
53
Don't make your single days of non-effect. You

should not be too busy waiting for your married
stage that you totally neglected your single season.
Dwell in the present while you dream about the
future.
Make your single season a blessing by spending it
purposeful. Spend this season by making an impact
on other people because your season has a reason.
That doesn't necessarily mean settling for our
current state, but we should clearly recognize our
blessings, be thankful for every day we are given,
and be at peace with our lives while we seek to
grow and overcome.
Being single is in fact a blessing because you can
invest time in quality friendships that'll last a
lifetime. Having healthy social connections not
only helps your mental health but also brings you
amazing opportunities. So don't seek a relationship
to fill a void. Seek social connections to share
abundance. Create healthy relationship with
everyone. Build genuine relationships and pure
friendship with the opposite gender. Sometimes, a
single and nice person of the opposite gender is
bought into your life for many things other than
54
marriage. This paragraph is not to encourage

frolicking with the opposite sex, it is rather to
emphasise that you can have purposeful friendship
with the opposite gender. Seek knowledge,
information, opportunities, network, and
connection from them.
I have always been a person who genuinely and
intentionally builds healthy relationship with
everyone, the opposite gender inclusive. Being a
lawyer, in every law firm I ever worked as a legal
counsel, I had more male colleagues than female,
and the beauty of it is that we simply develop over
time to be best of friends till date. I don’t hesitate
to seek opportunities, information, or knowledge
from them. Be intentional with creating and having
pure and healthy relationships with the opposite
gender.
55
ACT SIX
HOW TO UTILIZE YOUR SINGLE SEASON
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish
to be married, and the married wish to be dead.
Ann Landers
ACT SIX SCENE ONE

Tina: Every time I’m in church I feel this
connection.
Lena: We all felt that connection in church too.
Tina: How come nobody mentions it?
Lena: Well, who is asking?
Mum: It was that connection that drew me to your
dad, the same connection made him propose to
me.
Lena: Mummy, I’m sure that’s not the connection
Tina means.
Mum: Ngbo, Tijesunimi
Tina: Tina is fine Mummy, or Nimi
Lena: Tijesunimi
Tina: Aunty Lena!
Lena: You know how much I hate it when you call
me Aunty
Tina: Not as much as I hate it when you call my
name in full.
56
Mum: Well, you aren’t Nimi ehn. Your beautiful

name is Tijesunimi.
Tina: Oh God! I will be in my room. Tina left for her
room.
“Running away from a friendly conversation?”
Lena called after Tina.
Mum: Lena, I forgot how much that name sets her
off. Something she loves in her baby years.
Lena: Your baby is now a big girl. Tina baby
Mum: You need to stop bullying my baby. Find
something else to occupy yourself with
Lena: Well, I go to work.
Mum: You don’t seem to enjoy that work as much
as you enjoy teasing my baby.
Lena: Which baby somebody that will soon enter
husband house.
Mum: For where?
Lena: Okay o
Mum: Is there something you want to tell me?
Lena: Well, there is one thing.
Mum: I’m all ears.
Lena: I realised I enjoy poke nosing into teenagers’
affair.
Mum: So?
57
Lena: I want to start this NGO on guidance and

counselling for teenagers seeking admission or
preparing to write university admittance exam.
Mum: That’s lovely, but isn’t that what parents do?
Lena: Well, I thought so too, until I got this rude
shock in church today. This teen picked a course
and a university to study at; but she knows nothing
about the course she picked.
Mum: That’s a pity.
Lena: Mum, that’s four years of her life in total
uncertainty and probably future regret.
Mum: You seem passionate about this. It’s great to
see you utilising your time.
Lena: Don’t I do that?
Mum: Well, you should do more, and leave your
room.
Lena: I should have known, and I was thinking you
have some lectures for me on how to utilise my
single season.
Mum: Well, I do.
Lena: Let’s have it.
…………………………………………………
NARRATOR: Blessings come in effectively
utilising your season.
58
Every season in life can be a blessing in its own way

and can be used of God to serve specific purposes.
There are many memorable and unique
opportunities that come with the season of
singleness which may only be available during this
special season in life. Don’t be in a hurry to jump
this hood.
Remember how Adam was alone in the Garden of
Eden. God knew Adam was alone, yet Adam’s life
was not put on hold. Instead, he was in the garden,
actively involved in creation i.e., he was living. It
was in his productivity that God saw the void and
the need for companionship.
Your single life is meant to be productive; you are
meant to be living. You are to transcend that stage
of your life a better person. The bliss as a single
among others is that you are not encumbered, you
have your freedom, you decide what you do with
your time. It’s a time of our lives, too precious to
be wasted although many of us unfortunately waste
this time. We are busy hungering for marriage
while we miss the blessings that come with being
single.
59
We need to be sure we are using well the time on

earth with which God has blessed us. Those who
learn to be content and apply themselves during
their time as a single can be powerful tools in God’s
hand. Singles are not drawn in multiple directions
by the needs of the spouse, children, and in-laws
(all of which are also blessings). Spiritually
speaking, singles who manage their time well, can
focus powerfully on spiritual growth.
They have more time to get to know their Bibles,
study Christian literature and utilize many other
educational materials from the Church. They have
more time to pray, and more opportunity to fast.
Paul also observed, regarding singles in the
Church, He who is unmarried cares for the things
of the Lord—how he may please the Lord (1
Corinthians 7:32). Academically and careerwise,
they have the resources of time to grow.
As a single, how well are you using your time and
energy to serve God, to grow spiritually and live an
overcoming life? How well are you using this
beautiful season to prepare for your future?
You must make the most of this season, because
just like the summer or winter, it will pass, and
60
another season will begin. Singlehood is a phase

and will definitely pass, what will you have
achieved when you look back to the phase? Will
you want to change something, add something,
wish you did something different? Will you? Then
do it now.
As a single, you are in a unique position to give
more of your time to others regardless of your age.
You can make phone calls to check on others or
send cards to hospitals, assist the helpless or aging
in cleaning their home or yard, you can babysit for
a young couple who needs some private time
together, spend some extra time serving in your
local Church congregation, take another single on
a fun date, visit another same – gender single, or
just sit with and encourage someone.
Your single season is for action, you can no longer
afford to wait around and waste time. In this
precious season, you must be more intentional and
focus. Actively focus on long term goals, on your
career and academic goals, save money, and seek
healthy friends who you can work, play, grow and
pray with.
61
ACT SEVEN
ALWAYS REMEMBER PAST

FAITHFULNESS
Remember who you are and what God expects you to
become.
Thomas S. Monson
ACT SEVEN, SCENE ONE

Tina: You look so radiant and glowing. Did you
change cream?
Lena: Maybe.
Tina: What cream?
Lena: Gratefulness and peace of mind.
“I see. You wanna preach?” Tina asked sarcastically.
Lena replying Laughed hilariously. “My statement hit
you?”
Tina: Please, talk jor.
Lena: I’m serious o. I no change any cream.
Tina: I will find out.
Lena: Jobless human being. Don’t you have
somewhere to go?
Tina: Sending me out? I’m enjoying this series on
tiktok.
Lena: You people now have series on tiktok?
62
Tina: You people? You deleted your tiktok?

Lena: No, I just don’t see series on my tiktok.
Tina: Depends on the videos you watch.
Lena: Maybe you should try LinkedIn.
Tina: I do have LinkedIn, it scares me.
Lena: It doesn’t scare you; it challenges you. And
I know you run from challenges and camp in
comfort zone.
Tina: E be like say you mean me today. Where is
my loving sister. Mom! Mom!
Lena: Getat jor!
Tina: I like this serious part of you though, just
don’t make it a habit.
Lena: Get acquainted with LinkedIn. Enjoy your
comfort zone but challenge yourself as well.
Tina: That LinkedIn scares me. I will try sha.
Lena: I don’t mean just LinkedIn; I’m talking about
every aspect of your life.
Tina: How did you become wiser than me sef?
Lena: Abegi, I’m your senior remember?
Tina: Seriously, I love this new you. You are
beautifully glowing and confidently going about
life.
Lena: I guess I am more appreciative of life and all.
63
Tina: I’m glad you’re walking this life with me, I’m
totally influenced.
Lena: That’s so sweet of you.
Tina: So, this glow is from being appreciative?
Lena: You won’t give up! And yes, being
appreciative and more.
…………………………………………………
…………………………………………………
NARRATOR: Growth is achieved in consistency,

and consistency requires discipline, effort, and
God’s grace.
Always Remember Past Faithfulness
Always remember past faithfulness when it seems
that your single season is getting prolonged. Then
remember that the season will pass through.
Therefore, enjoy every bit of it and live. Anytime it
seems that the single season is so overwhelming,
it’s good to usually flash back to previous situations
that seemed impossible. For instances, some
persons write professional exams where it seems as
if the season of exams will not pass, but it usually
does. For medical doctors or lawyers at med school
or law school, where for lawyers, the fear of
64
passing Bar finals is so imminent that it’s their

everyday fear. It’s almost as if they would never
become lawyers. In that season, a year would seem
like ten years. Most of them will even fail to enjoy
the moments because of fear of the unknown.
That season will pass. They will be called to the
Nigerian Bar. Yes, they will become lawyers. Some
of them will wish they weren’t looking forward to
becoming a lawyer that they completely missed the
peace, bliss, freedom, and opportunities in that
learning season.
As much as you are afraid of being left out,
probably of never getting married, be assured that
it’s a big lie. You will get married, and you will
marry right. Always remember that you thought 18
years would never come, now it has come; you
probably thought you wouldn’t gain admission to
school or amount to anything in life, look at you
now. Remember past challenges and how you have
overcome. Bask in God’s faithfulness that this
season shall also pass, it is what you do with it that
matters.
65
ACT EIGHT
A GREATER SOURCE
Success isn't about how your life looks to others.
It's about how it feels to you.
Michelle Obama
ACT EIGHT SCENE ONE

“…and that’s what birthed the Greater than
Solomon Institute. We are a non-profit
organisation that aims to be the go-to centre for
counselling, guidance, and finance for High School
leavers in pursuit of higher education. We aim to
secure the future of the youth by enabling them to
make informed decisions. Thank you, sir, and ma.”
Interviewer A: Is this gender based?
Lena: No, it isn’t. it is open to both genders.
Interviewer B: What do you mean both genders.
You do know that there are more than two
genders, right?
Lena: I am aware that discussions around gender
have evolved beyond the traditional binary
genders. However, our organisation intends to be
the direction into the future for the youngsters.
66
Interviewer B: That will be all for you Miss Lena.

Interviewer A: We will contact you.
Lena: Thank you for having me.
ACT EIGHT SCENE TWO

Lena dashed for the door. “Oh my! That’s a lot.” She
soliloquized.
Michael: “Hello dear.”
Lena: Hi
Michael: You did a great work up there. Your
confidence and intelligence in asking question is
breathtakingly incredible.
Lena: Oh! Thank you.
Michael: I’m Michael, by the way.
Lena: Hi Michael, I’m Lena
Michael: Hi Lena.
Lena: Aren’t you part of the panellists?
Michael: Yes, I am. Though, just as an observer.
Lena: Oh!
Michael: Hope we didn’t drill you much.
Lena: Well, you guys have what I need.
Michael: Well, you did well
Lena: Thank you, Mr Michael.
67
Michael: You are most welcome, do have a great

day.
Lena: You too.
ACT EIGHT SCENE THREE

NARRATOR: Lena walked briskly out of the
premises, soliloquizing. She only hoped she did
well. She had pitched for few friends and family
before this day, why then did she feel like she didn’t
do her homework thoroughly.
Lena: How can that man be saying genders, this is
Nigeria o. Genders? Really?
Mum: Calm down, have you eaten?
Lena: Food? I will prepare it once I’m done.
Mum: What are you doing now? Who is asking you
to prepare food? Go and get something to eat jor.
Lena: You are the best Mum.
Mum: That’s because I didn’t ask you to go and
prepare your food.
Lena: Mum, really what’s it with genders sef.
Mum: Your Gen Zs will know. Alex! Richard!
Lena: What? Are they home?
68
Mum: Yes! They have been waiting to spring up on

you in the kitchen.
Lena: No wonder you kept saying I should get
something to eat.
Sis Lena! Alex and Richard chorused.
Lena: Omoo. See my handsome Bobos. She forgot
all about her worries about genders, as she hugged her
brothers.
Lena: You people are now big o.
Alex: What do you expect? Cheese and butter for a
year.
Richard: Milk and cheese on rice.
Lena: Wow. I miss you.
Alex: I miss you more.
Richard: I miss your food.
Mum: She hardly cooks now.
Lena: Well, that’s because you guys weren’t around.
Aren’t you supposed to arrive in two days’ time.
Alex: We booked an early flight.
Lena: Pranksters radarada.
Mum: I already warned them to stop all these yeye
pranks. What if something happened, God forbid.
Richard: Mummy, you are too African. Richard said
in British accent.
69
Lena: See these ones, you spent one year in UK.

Only one year o.
Mum: You notice the accent too?
Alex: Mum!
The two boys exclaimed exasperatedly.
Lena: I miss you guys so much, what about the
book I told you to get.
Richard: It’s in Alex’s luggage.
Alex: Sister Lena, you are glowing o.
Lena: I am?
Richard: I love that your initiative for High school
leavers.
Alex: Is it restricted to teenagers? How about an
adult who needs direction?
Richard: Isn’t this like guidance and counselling?
Every secondary school have that.
Lena: Omooo. You guys are really back. Stop
bombarding me jor.
Alex: I seriously love this glow, aunty Lena.
Richard: I noticed when she facetimed us.
Alex: Which cream are you using?
Lena: It’s not cream o.
Alex: What then?
Lena: Well, it’s because of the greater source.
70
Alex: The greater source?

Lena: Yes…
…………………………………………………
…………………………………………………
NARRATOR
A Greater Source
One friend accused his single friend of being too
comfortable, so happy being single. Laughing out
loud, the friend replied that his happiness is
attached to a greater source. A source, greater than
the single season and far greater than any human
relationship.
When you have a greater source, your happiness
and purpose will be unlimited. It won’t be limited
to a particular season of your life. The greater
source transcends all season.
As a single person, I ask you why are you sad?
“Why am I sad you said?” you replied “Don’t you
know that singlehood can be lonely? Sometimes
when I see my married friends I feel so left out.
Sometimes I crave intimate communication with
71
my own person.” My dear, I totally understand.

You crave a season that will come. It will come.
There’s the story of a young man in the Bible called
Joseph, who was thrown in prison on a false
accusation of sexual harassment. This young man
had every right to live a bitter life in that prison.
Yet you see, because his source was greater than
seasons and human relationship, this man lived
happily.
He was so happy and full of joy that he recognized
the unhappiness in two of the prison mates. He
was in the same dreary condition as they but chose
to hold on to a greater source that transcended the
wall of the prison. He chose not to be mournful.
What was responsible for his cheerful outlook? His
connection to the greater source.
The world expects singles to be lonely, gloomy,
mournful, cheerless, searching and waiting for a
soulmate while counting the years as it goes by.
However, you can choose to change the narrative.
You can choose the happy and purposeful
disposition. I totally understand why that friend
challenged his friend for being happy and joyful
despite being single, because how dare a single
72
person maintain constant happiness and

cheerfulness. That’s not what the world and
emotions of single hood brings to you. You can
however choose because the ability to make
choices is one of the superpowers of human.
So, choose to be like Joseph who had the audacity
to ask fellow prisoners why they were sad. They
probably replied with “Joseph, prison is not a place
of happiness. It’s a lonely place, a restricted place,
we have every reason to be sad.” Joseph however
acted contrary to the emotion expected of his
present environment and situation. Instead, he
revived the spirit of other inmates by helping them
out of their confused and unhappy state. He had a
greater source. You can too and you should.
Enjoy this your single season. Bask in it, help
others, be purposeful with it. Be like Joseph. Have
a dream. Be hopeful.
73
ACT NINE
STOP WAITING, START OCCUPYING

Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a
good attitude while waiting.
Unknown
ACT NINE SCENE ONE

“Join us, as we welcome Miss Lena Lawalson. The
winner of this year’s Felt Impact.” Says the
organiser.
NARRATOR: Lena got the spot after all. She
became good friends with Michael, who mentored
her on securing more grants and exposure for her
NGO. She grew from a young eager-for-marriage
young lady to a lady of impact and influence, one
who instead of wallowing in pity and loneliness
decided to utilize her talent, found her passion,
impact lives, and lived a balance life.
While on flight to Italy as part of the price for being
the winner of Felt Impact, Michael proposed to
her. Well, she loves the ring. We were told she said
a big yes to her friend and fiancé. She got invited
to the States by Tola’s husband, who set to surprise
74
his wife on their marriage anniversary with her

presence.
Tola: Wow! I can’t believe you are here.
Lena: I can’t believe either.
Tola: And you are engaged.
Lena: Omo!
Tola: I am omooed too.
Lena: Taa!
Tola: How come you are my anniversary present?
Just tell me.
Lena: Your man knows how much you love
surprises.
Tola: He surely does! And you kept it a secret so
well.
Lena: I have to.
Tola: You are looking great girl.
Lena: You too, those video calls didn’t do justice
to your beauty.
Tola: My friend, this country is not for the faint
hearted.
“Wetin faint hearted dey find come UK before?”
Lena said sarcastically.
Tola: You ehn! I miss you so much.
75
Lena: We have a lot of catching up to do, and a lot

of sightseeing too.
Tola: Go and meet the person wey carry you come;
make he carry you around.
Lena: I thought you said you miss me, abi make I
dey go back to Naija.
Tola: Allow them to miss you for house nau.
Lena: Yeye girl. As in ehn. They don to see me for
that house.
Tola: You are strong. I’m so proud of you, plus
having your own man.
Lena: Plus, my NGO, my work too and the way I
have been acing business pitches too.
Tola: Yes girl! All these goodies while being single?
Who could have thought that Helena Walter will
still be single and happy.
Lena: And not miserable, abi?
Tola: Yes, especially, after that outburst doing
service year.
Lena: Which outburst?
Tola: That outburst about not being single for
long. What would we be doing while single, bla bla
bla?
76
Lena: You don’t forget things; you remember so

well.
Tola: Every tiny bit. Your usual talk after that
proposal is always about singleness being a disease.
Lena: I just got a marriage proposal, what did you
expect? I was elated.
Tola: You didn’t even know who was proposing.
Lena: Well, it was enough that I was getting
married.
Tola: Then you got the proposal and turned it
down.
Lena: I didn’t turn it down. The proposal never
came.
Tola: Why? How? You didn’t tell me.
Lena: Well, you never asked.
Tola: girl! I was busy trying to get my own
proposal.
Lena: Really? I’m glad we are having this
conversation.
Tola: What really happened?
Lena: Well, the guy went on a mission and died on
the field.
Tola: Eayah, so sorry.
Lena: It’s fine.
77
Tola: He was a military? No wonder the proposed

proposal was by proxy.
Lena: Yes.
Tola: You handled it so well though.
Lena: Well, I didn’t know him so well. I met him
once or twice at church gatherings. It was tough
though.
Tola: I can imagine.
Lena: The whole proposal and death thing, made
me realize there is more to life. His funeral was
filled with lives he had touched, especially
teenagers.
Tola: Wow, at what age?
Lena: A very young age o. I felt God wanted me to
see that my life should be for impact too, not for
whining around.
Tola: Those days you were a miserable single,
always craving marriage from every relationship.
Lena: My dear, I was, I was.
Tola: That your foolish talk, at camp was on my
mind for days. What if that your outburst made me
got married on time?
Lena: Getat. Uncle J is a great man.
Tola: Yes, he is. I’m not disputing that.
78
Lena: Have you seen the way both of you look at

each other?
Tola: I just wish I found myself in my single season.
You know, that I lived that season for a reason.
Lena: You have your married season now, do that.
Tola: Well, my purpose now is for my husband and
my baby now. I live for them now.
Lena: Awwwn! That’s the sweetest thing I have
heard today.
Tola: I only wish I had more reason to be happy
and live a purpose while I was single. The only
thing in view then was marriage.
Lena: I do believe that marriage is for a purpose
too. Your single season is gone, no regret shey?
Tola: No regret. I’m just saying.
Lena: Great. I love that for you.
Tola: But how are you this happy, sweet, and still
single.
Lena: I stopped seeing that “and still single” in
quote. I started seeing still living. I started to realise
that every season of my life is a blessing from God,
and I must partake of that blessing and flourish in
it.
Tola: Hmmmm.
79
Lena: I focus on the blessings, pray about it and my

mind adjusted.
Tola: It’s so beautiful. Let me show you around
UK, you might pick your wedding gown while we
are at it.
Lena: I will. In two months’, time your girl will be
officially married.
Tola: I love you Lena, I’m so happy for you. I’m
glad you actually occupied your single season.
Lena: Thank you. Me too
………………………………………………
NARRATOR
Stop Waiting, Start Occupying
The kingdom of God is imminent, be prepared,
don't be caught unawares. While waiting for the
coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, occupy till He
comes, like the Bible admonishes. While we wait,
we are to be occupied. When a space is occupied,
there can't be emptiness. The substance keeps the
space filled and busy; there is therefore no place for
idleness, no space for anything that isn't
substantial. There must be an occupation if not
there will be emptiness.
80
The bridegroom, Christ, wants the bride i.e. the

church to occupy, to be purposefully busy, to be
engaged, to be filled till He comes. Do the brides
of this world wait in idleness, in spirit, mind, heart
and body for the groom? No. Why then are you
waiting around doing nothing? Why are you
waiting in idleness? Why are you waiting without
hope? Why are you waiting as if your groom won't
come?
Your desire will definitely become a reality; that
your groom will definitely come, but before he
comes, be engaged purposefully, live life, find
yourself in Christ. Be the best pal with the heavenly
Bridegroom. Find peace in Him, find satisfaction
in Him. Life is beautiful when you are pals with the
heavenly Groom.
Occupy till your earthly groom comes, find the
occupation, find your space on earth, and occupy
it authoritatively, and confidently while your
bridegroom comes. This is specially for singles,
don't waste away your life all in the name of
waiting. Engage and occupy while you wait! Stop
waiting and start to occupy this season. The next
season will come.
81
The Blessedness of Marriage

There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The
unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she
may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is
married careth for the things of the world, how she may please
her husband.1 Corinthians 7:34 KJV
Marriage isn’t Life's Sole Purpose

Marriage is beautiful and endearing. You get to
chase tens upon tens of thousands in your married
season with your spouse. However, marriage as
beautiful and endearing as it is, isn’t life's sole
purpose. It isn't the ultimate.
Most singles keep waiting for marriage, that it
becomes their only purpose and goal in life. When
marriage eventually comes, most have lost all sense
of purpose in life. This is so, because the single
season is life also; it’s a piece of the whole design.
Married life may actually make no sense and seem
over hyped to you when you choose to overlook
or belittle your single life. You weren't created to
be married; marriage is part of the incentives you
get for being created. Don't short-change yourself
on the altar of marriage.
82
As a Christian, it is essential to know that marriage

is not the finish line—Purposeful living is. God's
Kingdom is! In marriage seminars, oftentimes,
emphasis is placed on how God desires our
marriage to be filled with love, joy, peace, and lots
more.
In the same vein; God desires that our single life
be filled with love, joy, happiness, peace, prosperity
etc. There are a lot of seminars for singles on how
to attract the spouse they desire, how to have a
happy family, which is good and great. However,
seminars on how to enjoy, maximize and
purposefully maximize your single state seems to
be the scarce.
As much as you need to find the right spouse and
have a purposeful home, you need to find God's
purpose also for your single season. God desires
that you find satisfaction in your life and make your
life a haven for yourself and others. Your life
should be filled with love, laughter, joy, peace, fun,
friendship, developing friendship, togetherness
with family and satisfaction in life. Getting married
will not solve all your problems. In fact, it is hard
83
work; it is a beautiful, rewarding companionship,

but filled hard work.
So, while you are single, be responsible, develop
good financial habits, make a savings account and
train yourself on how to budget. Make your single
hood a blessing, a season that you can proudly look
back to and say, yes, I was blessed, and I was a
blessing. That season moulded me. Your life
doesn't begin at marriage, your life blossoms,
expands, and crystallizes at marriage. Marriage
expands and zooms on whatever you were before
its emergence.
God designed the relationship of marriage to be
the most common expression of human life in an
intimate social way. And marriage is the only
relationship in which sexual intimacy can take place
at all. It is God's design and God's gift to humans.
Sexual pleasure and ultimate satisfaction and
fulfilment, void of guilt is found only in marriage,
God designed it that way to create intimacy with
spouse. It unites the spouse, creates closeness,
passion, and excitement, without it all, marriage is
just friendship. Likewise, singles are sexual beings
created in the image of God, your sexuality is not a
84
separated and compartmentalized part, waiting for

marriage; it is more than your body, it’s integrated
into all aspects of your being; your intellectual,
emotional, rational, and spiritual.
God desires that you explore your sexuality in all
aspects of your being as a single person. God
designed sexual intimacy not to be explored in your
single season as it only leads to unfulfilled sexual
life full of guilt and void. The fullest of sexual
expression was created to be expressed only within
the covenant of marriage.
God has designed marriage and called it the grace
of life, the gift of God for the fulfilment of people.
However, it takes two to tango and enjoy the grace
of marriage. Marriage could expand your funds,
your connections, and prestige to a wider world,
however it takes two people to realise this. Quit
imagining that the blessedness of marriage is and
will be in the other person, start imagining that the
blessedness is in you. How can you share what you
don't have? How can you give what you don't
have?
Embrace your singlehood while you are single, live
a life filled with love, peace, and satisfaction. Have
85
a happy and healthy life; don’t be an unhappy and

unhealthy single, who is always wishing to be in a
relationship. You will only be setting yourself up
for an unfulfilled life. Be the best version of
yourself unapologetically and embrace the
blessedness in you.
Marriage is full of honey only if you have honey to
give it. If you give bitterness, you should expect
bitterness. If you carry bitterness for one reason or
the other into your marriage don't expect to see
honey because what you're taking to your marriage
is what you get. Marriage is a catalyst; it works on
what it sees. Therefore, intentionally live a
purposeful life in every season of your life. Your
single season matters, be purposeful with it.
If your life is purposeless before marriage, your life
will be purposeless in marriage unless you marry a
purposeful person who rubs off some of his or her
purposefulness into you or grooms you. What if
you do not marry a purposeful person? What if the
intending spouse is also purposeless, also expecting
to tap from a purposeful spouse in marriage.
86
A single person without purpose will probably

marry one without direction too. The percentage
of a purposeless single marrying a purposeful
person is slim; this is because a lot of people hope
to marry a better person and a purposeful person,
thereby neglecting themselves and leaving the
responsibility of being a purposeful spouse to the
other person. It’s no wonder lots of people find
themselves in purposeless marriage thereby
birthing purposeless families, or opting to leave the
marriage, all which could have been avoided.
Prepare to have a successful married season and
family season. Do your assignments on what can
be learned and studied; whose counsel can be
sought in order to prepare well for your future
roles. As a single, you have more flexibility with
your time and financial resources, and this can be
used in the preparation.
The Bible clearly teaches that men and women
were not generally designed to be alone (Genesis
2:18). God intentionally designed us male and
female in order to build marriage and family, to
learn from and grow through this institution.
87
As a single, plan and take actions to move toward

marriage, and it is never too late to do this.
Marriage is God’s will to mankind. It’s a blessing
that God willed to us. It is ours.
88
Thank you for reading!!

As an individual, whether single, in courtship or
married, connect to the greatest source, and start
occupying purposefully. Make a haven of your
life; live the life of love, peace, joy, friendship and
fun. Live now, don't wait on life!
89

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The gift of singleness

What Are You Waiting For? ...................................... 4

The Many Troubles of Singles ................................. 10

The Purpose .............................................................27

Unashamedly Single .................................................37

The Blessedness of Your Single Season ..................48

How To Utilize Your Single Season ........................56

Always Remember Past Faithfulness ......................62

Stop Waiting, Start Occupying ................................74

Life is magical and can be plain.

Life springs pleasantness

Life radiates colour.

Every single day brings its own music.

The beauty of life can be lost to us when we focus

diseased by the society, leave as soon as you can

ACT ONE SCENE ONE

smiling. Maybe, Dele? Maybe, maybe…” Lena says

“Tola it is! It’s like a disease!” Lena emphasizes.

Lena: Well, about that, you need to let me talk.

Lena: I sha don’t want to be single for more than 6

THE MANY TROUBLES OF SINGLES

ACT TWO SCENE ONE

“Well, I need to prepare the family dinner first,

Woman C: Hello dear

Lena: I see. You made mummy Doyin lecture me

Lena: I should, considering everything I hear in this

Dad: What are you girls talking about? (Their Dad

Dad: But you are chasing thousands as a single nau

Dad: No, I spoke with them an hour ago.

ACT TWO SCENE TWO

Tina: That’s a great idea

ACT TWO SCENE THREE

Tina: Of course, it will

Tina: You know what I mean, big sis.

NARRATOR: Being single gives rise to many

No, it isn't! It is probably the multiplication of it.

Singles and the Society

period of expectation will expire” Little wonder,

Singles and the Bible

Doesn’t this look like a conspiracy theory? Even

Also, the scripture in;

Two is better. Well, that means one is good. Most

The two shall surely put ten thousand to flight. Yes,

One man of you shall chase a thousand: for the LORD

The Lord is so mindful of the singles that He says

that single person. He doesn’t expect you to

ACT THREE SCENE ONE

ACT THREE SCENE TWO

Dad: You are going for a beautiful program, and

ACT THREE SCENE THREE

“Life is meant to be lived with all intentionality.

Sam: So? Christian gatherings aren’t expressive?

season where you should be whole. A season to

Sam: It is God’s purpose that you live every season

NARRATOR: Everything that ever is or was, has

You live a destiny-fulfilling single life when your

A married person’s primary purpose, wherein lies