Rev.

John Wilks NTC Residency, Elder Track Year One

Reection paper: The relation of the practice of ministry to personal and family life. Submitted October 12, 2011 ! To begin, I want to unpack the very language of the writing prompt itself. The relation of the practice of ministry to the personal and family life. ! Given the context of this paper, the residency program for ordination, it is clear that what is meant is the relation of the practice of vocational and ordained ministry as our two year processes focuses under the assumption that all participants are a) employed by congregations directly or employed for Christian service through religiousafliated non-prot agencies and b) provisionally accepted as elders and deacons and pursing full ordination and membership in and through our two Orders in our Annual Conference. ! I raise this distinction for several reasons.

! First, as a cause for humility in the face of our sacred tasks, we must all be mindful (at least I feel a deep sense of connection myself to be mindful) that Christ calls all women and men who accept His lordship to obey His commands and be about His work in this, His world. ! Each of our congregations is headed up by an Elder or a Local Pastor who is performing the duties of an Elder under the supervision of Elders. We set aside individuals who are called to embody the work of eldership in a unique way and we (rightfully) guard access to who will serve in such a capacity through the processes of licensing and ordaining. Likewise, the work of word and service in the local church and in community centers, hospitals, university settings, and in the mission eld is very often in the hands of Deacons. ! Our Eldership is a legacy to the concept of priesthood, and yet we read in 1 Peter 2:10 that every disciple of the Lord Jesus is a part of a royal priesthood. In a sense, we can Biblically (and thus rightly) proclaim that while not all are Elders, the work of eldership belongs to all. ! In the same way, the ofce of Deacon goes back to Acts 6 when holy leaders were appointed to table service. The title is akin to the Greek word for waiter or waitress, The Deacon is a servant. And yet the New Testament is replete with commands for all who follow the Risen Lord to be servants- with Paul going so far in Philippians 2:4 to tell us to ignore our own needs that we might serve others. And so once again, while not all in the Church are Deacons, the servant-leadership embodied by that order actually belongs to all. ! What I am getting at is this: those of us in vocational/ordained ministry (or at least folks like me in vocational ministry trying to get ordained) are NOT professionals. We

Rev. John Wilks NTC Residency, Elder Track Year One

dont do the work of elders and deacons so that others dont have to. Instead, we are incarnation- we model a form of ministry which are should be encouraging others to also grow into as God leads them. Just as Jesus became esh to show us how to live, so too do Elders, Deacons, and yes even Local Pastors and in many cases program staff leaders not only do ministry, but serve as role models, mentors, coaches, and shepherds who exist to facility ministry beyond ourselves. We represent orders to spread the work of those orders to the laity we serve and serve among. ! In light of this, we can now turn to 1 Timothy 3 and begin to delve into how a theology of ordained ministry should translate into family life. Here, we see Paul reminding Timothy that the Elder and Deacon must be persons of good reputation, deep personal faith, and who do right by their families. ! These days, that passage from Paul has become highly controversial due to the gender issues it raises and the way some denominations (wrongly in my view) use this chapter to exclude women from certain ministries. But let us step back for a moment and consider what Paul is saying. Are not the qualities Paul sets for for leaders in 1 Timothy 3 the very sorts of qualities we should hope to see in every Christian, regardless of how they make a living? ! Shouldnt we encourage every Christian to be honest, pious, sober, not given to greed and materialism, and dependable to both their biological family and the family of faith? ! Therefore, shouldnt we who serve in vocational/ordained (or nearly ordained) roles see ourselves in a new light? Is not our leadership task to truly lead- to live in work in such ways the laity can realistically learn from our example and do likewise? ! This leads me to my own experience, and my struggle, with the crossroads of my vocation and my home life. By nature, Im a work-a-holic. I love what I do, and if I were a single person, Id probably work 80-100 hours a week. It is easier for me to do than delegate. It isnt that Im a control freak (OK, sometimes I am a control freak...) but it is just easy and fullling to get the job done and not have to bother others with it. It feels good to be useful. Left unchecked, these impulses can lead to an unbalanced and even self-destructive pattern. ! During the certication process of candidacy, my psych evaluation noted that people wired as I am wired can become so task oriented that we sometimes steam roll people in pursuit of a goal. Reading those words back then was difcult- but over time, learning that about myself has lead me to a logical, and theologically sound, new way to view my calling which will help me get it right. ! Here is the secret I learned. People are the task. Ministry is not about the success of a worship format or educational program or mission project. Ministry is people experiencing the life-changing presence of Christ. Worship, education missionall of those things are about people. When I can remember that the goal is to help

Rev. John Wilks NTC Residency, Elder Track Year One

people- including myself and my family- encounter the grace, power, and love of God made manifest in Christ, it suddenly becomes easier to balance it all. If my goal is to help people be faithful disciples, I must attend to my own soul and model discipleship. If my goal is to help couples build healthy marriages, I must make sure I care for and nurture my relationship with my wife. If my goal is to help parents raise children in an atmosphere of love and grace, then I must make the time to ensure that my children are given what they need from me. ! ! In this light, the question ceases to be how can I balance my personal needs and the needs of my family with the demands of being in vocational/ordained ministry? For when considered from this perspective, it is clear that self care and family is care is, in fact, and integral part of the ministry itself. ! ! In other words, the best way to nd balance is to cease looking upon these areas of our lives as separate things. They are two sides of one holistic coin- a token of the true self who is (or at should should be) the same essential being regardless of the number of roles we play. As tricky as it is to get the coin to stand on edge and be balanced, it is far easier than trying to juggle to separate spheres of being which each want to claim primacy of our sense of self.