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Natalie DeGraves

Mr.Smith

Honors Junior Literature

19 October 2023

Healthcare affecting the achievement of the American Dream

The average healthcare cost per month for one person is 560 dollars. People with more

medical issues are insured to have a higher price for their healthcare bill. Causing them to have

to work more to get the money to cover the healthcare bill along with other expenses such as

finances and basic necessities. Think about the people that have to pay that price for themselves

along with their children and the people that have to pay for that all alone without the help of a

significant other or anyone else. Making it a really complicated challenge for someone to concur

alone. Leading them to be overly stressed and overly worked because they are doing everything

they can to keep them and their family healthy while working for their goal of achieving the

American Dream. The average healthcare costs are inhibitive for the average working class

American along with all the other finances and basic necessities that one needs in their everyday

life.

While trying to achieve the American Dream many medical issues can come along the

way. Making it very hard to balance work life with home life and medical issues all at the same

time. In an article it stated, “In the U.S. today, it only takes a single medical issue to drain a bank

account and force major life events on hold.” ( )explaining how the healthcare bill for one

medical issue can affect everything. Also due to the fact that when being really sick or in the

hospital for surgery or any other medical issue they are not able to work most of the time.

Especially when working, working class jobs that are more hands on and not online. When going
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to the hospital doctors and nurses can also realize that they are lacking the money for the medical

issue and “locked out those in need” (Shriver) further talking about when they need help they

aren't willing to help them as easily as others who aren't as deeply in need. Also having insurance

when going to the hospital for medical issues and not having insurance and the money to pay the

expenses the doctors aren't as willing to help as much causing an alternative to be needed. So

trying to get a paycheck for that week while also not being able to work due to a medical issue is

nearly impossible. Studies show, “46% of Americans say their stress levels limit achieving

success' '( “Don’t let these 4 obstacles stop your American dream from coming true”) . They are

so determined to achieve their goal that they don't have time for other matters in their life to

release some of the stress. There is just always the thought that they have to be working for the

goal. People fear that they are risking the failure of their goal and “ Also leading to the result in a

financial loss, poverty and the change of environment, physical or mental injuries, or even debt

depending on the person.'' (“The West Egg Perspective of the American Dream”) people can tend

to overwork themselves because they are so determined. Having extra medical issues can deeply

affect the achievement of the American Dream due to the stress affects and the raise in price for

the healthcare bill.

With the average healthcare cost per month for one person being $560 there is also

additional prices added one for different people. While trying to save money along with paying

for finances and other basic necessities, it can be a huge help without the host of healthcare being

added on. It is proven that, “75% of Americans don't have enough savings for retirement. ”(

“Don’t let these 4 obstacles stop your American dream) spending their savings on necessities at

that time. Also “46% of Americans feel debt is holding them back”( “Don’t let these 4 obstacles

stop your American dream from coming true”) As an illustration people feel this way because
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they dont have savings. Not being able to have a starting point to saving money due to having to

spend the money in your savings can be very disappointing and hard on one. The average person

puts about 20% of their income into savings for retirement. It is very hard for some people to

accomplish in the working class, “With health insurance premiums, out-of-pocket costs, and

expensive price tags on treatment, many Americans must forgo buying houses, marrying and

having children in order to afford medical care” (Pro Builder) It is hard enough affording

everything for yourself but for a family too can be really hard especially with not having any

help. To illustrate deu to not having a savings leads to taking money “out-of- pocket” whic then

leads to debt. In all, “Health care costs affect Americans' ability to save for major life

milestones” (Leonhardt) due to the expenses hitting the younger generations causing them to

have to start saving at a very young age which many don’t do.

Not only is it hard for Americans to accomplish the American Dream with the extra cost

of healthcare but it is even harder for immigrants. They are trying to figure out everything

including them being legal to work and be in the United States along with having to pay all these

finances and housing and added on top the healthcare bill. People were very protective over

Americans' health being affected, “In the past, public health systems focused on making sure that

immigrants were not bringing in infections and other communicable diseases that could threaten

the health of Americans' ' (Kandula). The government did not want the immigrants bringing

other viruses from other countries and affecting Aemricans. Not only did they not want them to

affect Americans but they also did not want the immigrants to be affected either. The government

had classes for immigrants and “In the heart disease prevention classes we offer new immigrants,

we show real ads targeting them and talk about how to resist adopting unhealthy behaviors.”

(Kandula) providing classes can help new immigrants with learning how to stay healthy and
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protected from illnesses so that they can stay working towards the achievement of the American

Dream. With the help of the government providing healthcare coverage, “while health care

coverage is important, we also understand that to make our immigrant communities truly healthy,

we need to look beyond health care.” (Center For Health) many support systems also to help

provide immigrants and people who are struggling with money. The support systems can help

with housing and food. Helping to take off some of the expenses while being provided by the

government and support systems.

While focusing on the expenses of finances and other basic necessities as an average

working class American, also paying the average price of healthcare is laborious. Healthcare can

affect one's goal to achieve the American Dream through the costs, physical and mental effects

and it can affect immigrants when just moving to America. Some believe the American Dream is

not achievable and others think the opposite. There are different ways that people work for the

goal but in all the amount of work put in can affect someone both physically and mentally in

their health. Causing the price for their healthcare bill to increase, making them have to take

more money out of their pocket to stay healthy. Staying motivated and determined on achieving

the goal of the American Dream can be both mentally and physically draining.

Natalie,

Solid job structuring this essay, and finding sources that backup your claim. Additionally, I

think it was effective to add the aspect that healthcare has an effect on immigrant

populations, and adding the element of how things could be improved. As for some things

to work on, I didn’t see much in terms of synthesis in this paper. Synthesis would involve

specifically mentioning how authors/texts agree, disagree, build upon each other, etc. It is

usually indicated with clear and effective transition word (see the transitional word website
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I gave the class for some examples). Additionally, I would like to see you be more specific in

your claims and analysis. An example, “With the average healthcare cost per month for one

person being $560 there is also additional prices added one for different people.” – After

reading this I’m asking myself, which people, what additional prices, why does this matter

in terms of your argument. The answers are in your body paragraph, but you will want to

make sure your go back to topic sentences to make this more clear.

Works Cited

“Don’t Let Obstacles Stop Your American Dream.” John Hancock,

https://www.johnhancock.com/ideas-insights/american-dream.html. Accessed 16 October

2023.

“The American Dream in Health Care: Finding Our Way.” LinkedIn, 23 March 2022,

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/american-dream-health-care-finding-our-way-peter-wazi

ri. Accessed 16 October 2023.

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Grzeskiewicz, Lucia. “Healthcare Costs Are Killing the American Dream.” Pro Builder, 5

November 2019,

https://www.probuilder.com/healthcare-costs-are-killing-american-dream. Accessed 16

October 2023.

“Health and the American Dream.” Center for Health Progress, 13 December 2017,

https://centerforhealthprogress.org/health-american-dream/. Accessed 16 October 2023.

“Health-care costs are stalling life milestones for many Americans.” CNBC, 4 November 2019,

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/11/04/health-care-costs-are-preventing-many-americans-fro

m-hitting-life-milestones.html. Accessed 16 October 2023.

Joe, Taryn. “Pros and Cons of The American Dream – The West Egg Perspective.” Sites Create

OU, 14 February 2022,

https://sites.create.ou.edu/twep/2022/02/14/pros-and-cons-of-the-american-dream/.

Accessed 16 October 2023.

Kandula, Namratha. “The 'American Dream' May Be Bad for Your Health.” Northwestern Now,

13 February 2014,

https://news.northwestern.edu/stories/2014/02/opinion-usnwr-kandula-sugar-drinks/.

Accessed 16 October 2023.

Shepard, Daniel. “Average Cost of Health Insurance (2023).” ValuePenguin, 6 October 2023,

https://www.valuepenguin.com/average-cost-of-health-insurance. Accessed 16 October

2023.

Shriver, Saiom. “Us Health Care Costs Highest In World With Middling Results - Us Health

Care Costs Highest In World With Middling Results Poem by Saiom Shriver.” Poem

Hunter, 19 December 2015,

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https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/us-health-care-costs-highest-in-world-with-middling-

results/. Accessed 16 October 2023.

Rubric

Skill Not Foundational Proficient Advanced

Yet

Identifies a topic Appears in first Thesis establishes a

paragraph complex claim

Thesis establishes a
topic and a claim

Thesis
Comments:
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Includes three or Includes multiple pieces Includes specific,

fewer sources of evidence (from 8-10 meaningful, and
sources) that clearly well-chosen evidence
Some evidence relate to the thesis that relates to the thesis
relates to the thesis
Includes multiple pieces Includes a wide variety
Evidence of evidence in each body of evidence
paragraph (primary/secondary
sources, political
Includes multiple types cartoons, opinion pieces,
of evidence studies, poetry,
fiction/narrative, etc.)

Comments:

Summarizes sources Explains how evidence Explains well-selected

supports topic sentence points of comparison
of individual paragraphs among sources and
evidence and their
Explains how evidence connection to the thesis
Analysis supports the thesis of the
essay Demonstrates use of
advanced vocabulary
and varies sentence
patterns; evidence of
distinct voice and style
in the writing

Comments:

Little connection Explains how the Clearly explains

between texts; texts/sources are related, relationships among
difficult for the though points could be texts (how they confirm
reader to see how the more selective or better or challenge each other,
texts are related developed build on each other,
Synthesis provide differing
Includes multiple perspectives, etc.)
sources in each body
paragraph Utilizes a variety of
transition words and
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Utilizes transition words phrases

and phrases

Comments:

Some elements Heading is correctly No errors in MLA format

missing or some errors formatted
in MLA format
Pages are numbered

Most in-text citations are

correctly formatted

MLA Works Cited: each source

Format entry is in correct MLA
format
Comments:

NY Shows evidence of Most quotes are correctly All quotes are correctly
basic proofreading integrated integrated

Convention Follows essay Shows evidence of careful

s organization proofreading

Shows evidence of
proofreading

Comments:

Essay Checklist

Content:
Thesis is the last sentence of my first paragraph
Each body paragraph has a topic sentence that is argumentative and relates to the contents
of the paragraph
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I have included the required amount of evidence

My analysis explains how the evidence proves my claims
My body paragraphs relate back to my topic sentence and my thesis
I have attempted to synthesize my sources (agreement, disagreements, etc).
By restated thesis is the first sentence of my conclusion paragraph
I have properly cited my sources (in-text, works cited)

Writing
I have eliminated “dead words” from my writing (see list below)
I have looked at my transition words and phrases to ensure that they are effective
My quote integrations grammatically flow with my evidence (avoiding hanging quotes)
I have included words/phrases from my thesis in the body of my essay (or synonyms)
I have utilized a grammar checker to catch errors
I have read my writing aloud to check for clarity

List of dead words:

● “I”
● YOU
● WE
● LIKE
● THING
● STUFF
● KIND OF
● SORT OF
● GOOD
● BAD
● HAPPY
● SAD
● MAD
● THIS QUOTE SHOWS (INSTEAD: EXPRESSES, ILLUMINATES,
DEMONSTRATES, DETAILS, EXPLAINS)
● “MANY WAYS”
● “SEVERAL DIFFERENT WAYS”
● “TO BE” VERBS: IS, ARE, WERE