Anthropology 202 assignment 1

Name: Samukelisiwe Mazibuko

Student number: 221080701

Family and gender based violence.

Introduction
Family and household
Family are people that live together related to each other, have the same blood in their body
and the same surnames. In the households there are different kind of people that stay together
and are not all related to each other, like adopting a child and stay in the same house or
staying with cousin the same house. In all the things that happened in the family the lobola
negotiation its separate families as it takes another member of family to stay with the
patterner but also unite the two families as they pay price of lobola. This essay explains about
my family and household and the views of lobola discussion.

Family
Families are related people by blood, this kind of relation it happened when men and women
made a child together. Some continue in with their relationship and get married and stay
together and make more children to create a big family. In my family a man is the one who
become a head of the family, the mother teaches her children how to respect an old person
and our tradition also teach that also old people must respect children. When both parents
decided to divorce, they divide property but most of thing are gave to children and a man a
mother is the one who suffer the most especial if she was not working. Children usually move
and stay with their mother as a mother become a single parent it become so difficult to raise
children alone, financial and other responsibilities. When a mother married again in another
surname some mans have a heart to agree on staying with other men’s children, other women
they leave their child with their grandmother and then start another family with another men.
Having two or more wives it has become a kind of fashion to mans in nowadays especial
those with lot of money. If women got married and unable to have children old people
suggest that a husband must take another wife so that she can expand the family surname and
it became a problem when the second wife get a boy child because she became the favourite
one. If a man gets married to two wives and they both have children, a man builds them
separates houses, when he wants to visit both wives, he has made a timetable that will benefit
both wife and what he does with the other wife he must do at the other. In my culture the
second wife need to respect and listen to the old wife. I can say only a rich man that can
handle polygamy and a man who respect and stay on his words.
When men and women are married some how if a man have other children outside a
marriage, those come and live with the other wife and if a women have child outside a
marriage the child stay with both partners and have a big family. Having such family, it
become a problem the children as they will compere everything happened to the other or
some become jealousy of someone else. If a mother’s bride stays alone and is old, her child
takes her and live together with his partner and adding cousin to live with them that how we
as black people extend a family.

Household
in my family we like to help who ever person in need of shelter, if someone if traveling and
ruined out of time we give them shelter until the next day. Having relatives that stay far away
and then come to look for jobs in our area, stat to stay for a few days until that person find a
job or then move to another place to look for job.in our family we help each other in needs
like if someone had clothes that does not wear anyone that person pass it to a younger person
or someone in family that will fit. Helping each other in needs of borrowing each other
money as a family by a relative it much better than an outside person. In household we stay
with who ever we want even friends in need of shelter until she become financial stable or
staying with our uncle’s child and our sister’s child to form a big family. Making a big family
it helps in other ways as it can bring happiness and a lot of help around family the bond
become more united.

Household income
When it come to a family money, those who work are the one who take responsibility of the
family. Special if the is the man of the house he is the one who pays more for everything that
is needed in the house even if the mother is also working. My family have a tuck shop near
our home not everyone is allowed to sell for people, but only does who are trusted can sell.
This shop bring money to our family even as it not that much and it also keep busy someone
who is not working. For does who sell like relatives they get paid for guiding the store so that
person can be encouraged to feel in love for selling in their shop. The money that come from
government also help especially my grandmother’s pension money and our little sisters and
brothers grant money it also in financial providing for the whole family. My grandmother
also has garden for vegetables some of the people ask to buy them, but my grandmother give
them for free, it helps as some other vegetables are not added in the list of grocery, they just
get it in the garden. Helping each other with a money to buy necessary things it also saves
then letting one person to suffer for family needs.

Lobola practice
Lobola it at when a man pays money or cows for a woman, he loves he pays money to the
women family. This is a traditional way to take a woman and stay with her and it is discussed
by the elders of a family especial mans. In old days lobola was paid with cows only but
looking of things that has changed in south Africa people are also using money. For lobola to
continue it all being agreed by a woman and the communication between two families agrees
with the money suitable for their daughter.
In the lobola negotiation it become a problem when a wife is educated with many
qualifications and have a well payable job because the price of lobola becomes high. Other
couples in south Africa they just leave the part of lobola in nowadays because of women’s
family demanding high price, that why the are so many women who stay with their man
without lobola.to other mans that are not working or earn a small amount it became a
problem of always explaining in a women than he’s trying his best to get the money so that he
can pay lobola and some women are not able to be patience with that and then they leave a
man to get a rich man. This thing changed in this Morden world we are living in as, as in old
time people were only pay lobola with cows because of the standard of living they had.
African mothers and fathers have change lobola thing as they seen it as a business venture all
this change after allowing colonial people in Africa. Shope (2006) state that paying lobola for
a woman means respect, good meaning of being in the man’s house, give her children and
lobola it signifies respect for a African women. During lobola negotiation a man’s family as
they bring lobola they must respect their culture even if both partners come from different
culture but a men need follow women’s culture when paying lobola for her then after being
married a women must follow man’s culture and respect it. Married without lobola is not
valid according to a culture, the lobola money its is used to continue with marriage but most
of the money is taken by a mother’s bride and then find out that a man pays more money
in(umembeso) of the bride as they exchange gifts and then pay more money in the weeding
day, that how bride’s side of the family benefit from a man. The bride’s side of the family is
the one that like to explain about how they raise a child, what kind of school did she attend,
how much sacrifices they made for their child to have such qualification and how they raise
her, all of this African people include it during lobola negotiation which its has nothing to do
with a man but then they call it culture and has to be followed. If a woman already has a child
with other man some man must pay a higher price for a lobola if that man is also paying for a
child, but it all happened of is the groom agreed on that, but some just say the lobola price
must decrease as a woman has a child outside. Paying lobola is lovely thing to a woman but
in other people they just stay without lobola because of the way its to expensive for them
some a scared of what if they take a bride then their relationship starts to change as some man
can take advantage of that they paid lobola for you, so you must what he says. (Montle and
Moleke 2021).

Gender based violence.

Gender based violence happened in women many times after being paid lobola by in laws or
the husband. Some of this violence take place because of man take advantage of that they
have paid lobola so a women must follow his laws and what he says even if a woman does
not like it. The in laws are the other people who take advantage, like making a wife suffer,
they just site and do nothing and expect the bride to do all the work and say it’s the reason we
paid lobola for you. Some mothers just say you must respect your in-laws to be a lovely bride
even if they do you bad and some say a woman coming back from marriage is a disgrace.
The Zulu king that is responsible for women and youth has made a promise to reduce a lobola
if the men behave against violence in women. The king made this promise of fighting gender
base violence against men so that the number of marriages will increase in Africa, he
promised to reduce number of cows that are bought for lobola. he compares it with the way
south Africa flighted with covid -19, that why they are not using strategies of being away of
abuse and the level of disability women and children that are raped, killed has became higher
than usual. South Africa is facing a highest femicide rate as many women a raped, killed and
beaten by their man. Zulu king says he will reduce the lobola price but cannot discuss this
meter while gender-based violence continued. (Hlangu, 2023).
A woman that was married before they take advantage of her and pay small amount of money
for lobola. when a woman has been paid lobola and unable to get pregnant the first-person in-
laws to insult is a woman, some mothers in law take advantage of that and tell his son to take
another wife so that he can have children. Men sometimes use their wife for sex and just
because they paid lobola so a women must agree having sex even if she is not feeling well.
Being beaten by your man they say it is a way of showing love to a woman and if a woman
does not agree on anything a man say, a man must beat her so that she will learn in her
mistakes. If a man is advised to behave good in his women, he states that he paid lobola for
her so whatever is happening she must accept it. That why many women are them who
divorce men because of having enough of abuse and insult just because they paid lobola.
some women are afraid to leave their marriage just because they want their children to grow
up under both parents even if she is not happy and some a scared to lose some money. During
uMembeso a woman when she is moved from her home with a Box she is advised that the is
no turning back when she leaves and when she wants to divorce it become difficult that
where she will go with her children, that why it is important to also work as a married women
and do some savings (Kgadima and Leburu 2022).

Marriage norms in south Africa

South Africa is described as less country of people who get married it was all disturbed by
apartheid and most people now start getting marriage at a younger age. Lobola is the most
important thing to do in south Africa then a white weeding. In this country if a women get
married, she even takes the surname the husband and stay with his family. Getting married
people also see it of a wife getting beneficiaries in the family and the bride’s family have
soothing in mind that what belong to their daughter in the marriage it also theirs. Family also
thinks that as wife got married that her husband will take care of them also, like giving them
money and help their needs and forget that the husband is taking care of his mother’s family
and his with the wife. Men who doe does not work properly suffer in this as the lobola price
become high. In women it become difficult if she wants to end relationship while being paid
lobola because she has to pay back the lobolo money or bring back the cows. People sees
marriage now as a mechanism of social stratification (Sennott et al, 2020)

Conclusion
To conclude this essay explained how family live with other relatives in household, explained
family, how lobola is viewed, the gender-based violence and marriage in south Africa. as
black people in each family we have different way of growing up and people we grow around
with that why we have favourites people in a family to look up to because of the treatment
they give us. Its also important to get married to a person that you love and the one who
values you and do not follow you mates in into marriage because of status, if you see that a
man do not respect you and act like a good husband to you leave that marriage it ok to start
afresh.
Reference list
Montle, M. and Moleke, H. (2021) ‘exploring the commercialisation of lobola in south
Africa: School of language and communication studies faculty of humanities. Palarch’s
journal of archaeology of Egypt, 588-5591.
Hlangu, L. (2023) ‘Zulu king promise to reduce lobola payments as incentive to end GBV’.
South Africa, 1-4.
Leburu, G. and Kgadima, N. (2022); Attitude toward lobola in remarriage following divorce
in African communities. Fudan journal of the humanities and social science, 8-10.
Sennott, C., Madhavan, S. and Nam, Y. (2020) ‘Modernizing Marriage: Balancing the
benefits and liabilities of Bride wealth in rural South Africa’ qualitative sociology, 4-10.