The HEXER’S GUIDE

TO THE ANTI-VERSE
ISSUE #1: TALES FROM
THE GASTRO-ZONE
 1 IN THIS ISSUE

Gastromancy 2-4
The Gastro Terrorist Dossier 5-7
UVG Folk Sayings of the Gastro Gnome 8
Restaurant Fights 9-10

CONTRIBUTORS EDITOR’S NOTES

Welcome to the inaugural issue of the Hexers’ Guide to the Anti-verse. The
Hexers content found within these pages is made by the good folks at the
Stratometaship, the discord/patreon community surrounding Luka Rejec’s
Luka Rejec
Stephen Bridges role-playing game, narrative and art works. (sign up here)
Edd0
Will Kinchlea
Syth Every few days, the Stratometaship would gather around its #cauldron-of-
Koan Mandala creation and come up with random tables of fun stuff. Eventually enough
Momatoes content and themes came about that putting it together for the good of all
bordercholly seemed like a great idea.
Adam Buehler
Cintain
Chloe RJ Baldwin A few notes.
Xandeross
Unnamed Hexer 1. Much of the work here is first thought through the general setting of
Adam Grzegorczyk Luka’s The Ultraviolet Grasslands (buy digital/buy in print) and any
mechanics generally align with the under-construction ruleset, SEACAT.
Cover Now, with those two things in mind, far and away this content can
Luka Rejec be—and should be—mined, exploited, used up and otherwise
destroyed for your own enjoyment.
Art 2. These tables are also created on the notion of anti-canon. Anti-canon,
Luka Rejec as Luka, puts it, “ [sets out] to explicitly write the world as a toy kit
bordercholly without a single right way of being. It’s a box, a book of parts that
Will Kinchlea demand the players take a few of the pieces, a few of the challenges,
Simon Forster and tell their own individual and unique stories as they trace their way
Kyle Currie through the world.” (blog link) In other words. Take what you want and
don’t worry about whether entry 1 and entry 4 make any sense
Layout side-by-side.
Will Kinchlea
That’s all for now. Enjoy our food magics, food revolutionaries, food fights,
The Hexer’s Guide to the and food....folk tales? in a way that helps you tell your stories, in your way.
Anti-verse is a collaborative
production of The
Stratometaship Discord Next issue, we’re thinking it’s all about camping. Though, with fewer
community, with explicit cheese-based messiahs.
permission from WTF Studio
and Luka Rejec. It is published Probably.
under a Seacat special license.
UVG (Ultraviolet Grasslands
and the Black City) and Seacat
are copyright Luka Rejec. 1

CORE SPELL (FREE)
Child’s The Infinite Stew
As long as the pot is never emptied
and life is given to it, the gourmand
can always feed themselves and a
group of people.
Power 1: They give 1d6 Life to create
1d4 supplies for the week.
GASTROMANCY
Have you kept the ka within the meat long enough to get the right taste?
Have you instilled a soupçon of ba into your dessert to promote conversation?
Are your mignardise sufficiently transubstantial?
If not, you have no business being in my kitchen.
- Introductory words to Armand's Cook Like the Masters.
While many people know how magical a meal can be for your palate, your
body or your friendships, few know just how magical the intricacies of the
gastromantic arts can be. Often seen as a lower art used only by hedgemages
and tired innkeepers, gastromancy's strength is in its subtlety. A touch here, a
pinch there, and one can influence, transform, and instruct their guests
through appetizers, entrées, and a well-timed desserts.
Implements of Construction: Practitioners of the gastromantic arts, be they
sauceror, gourmand, glutton or gastromage, weave their spells into their
cooking equipment, etching ladle and wooden spoon alike. When pressed
why, many shrug and simply speak of the look and feel the implements give
to their regular cooking.

GASTROMANTIC SPELLS
1. Syth's Enspicification
Waving their ladle over the food, the
gourmand erupts the hidden ka-
heat of the prepared dish.
Power 1: The dish in front of the
wizard gets muy spicy.
Power 2: The dish is infused with the
heat of a thousand curries.
Power 6: When the ensorcelled dish
is consumed, the consumer will
spontaeously combust.
2. Flay’s Fade to Beige
In the darkest kitchens of the dread
levels of hell, fell saucerors of the
dark cities have found a way to taste
beige.
Power 1: Tasty food is rendered
tasteless.
Power 3: The smells and tastes of
potent tinctures and poisons are
masked by the flavour of
indifference.

2
3. The Glutton’s Absorption of
Knowledge from Flesh
The gastromancer eats a piece of
flesh and absorbs the knowledge via
their gastrocerebral cortex.
Power 1: The hero gains access to the
memories from the last hour of the
food’s life, including from plants and
fungal life forms.
Power 2: The flesh and the power it
holds courses through the hero.
They gain access to a random skill,
ability, or increased stat from the
food until they get hungry again.
Power 3: The knowledge can be
forever imprinted into the
gourmand’s psyche. They can
replace a skill or ability with one
from the food.
4. Bourgogne’s Satrapic Synesthesia
Along with the usual ingredients, the
gourmand folds sound, colour, and
touch into the pan with as they
create entrées of mind-altering
interest.
Power 1: Add one synesthetic
element to a prepared dish.
5. Oliver’s Mutagenic Meal
#imbue #dangerous
Through select herbs and spices, the
gourmand infuses a prepared dish
with an overactive source code of
the original ingredients.
Power 4: The consumer of the meal
will take on one property of one of
the ingredients in its natural form as
mutation. It is dangerous only for
the consumer. Imbued power returns
when the dish is consumed.
6. The Glutton’s Nose Knows
Using their olfactory memory from
eating so many different cuisines,
the gastromancer is able to discern
when something is off by smell.
Useful for detecting poisons but
makes them a harsh food critic.
Power 1: The hero can smell
mundane poisons but are unable to
discern which one it is without
further study. A taste, perhaps?
7. Fieri’s The Taste Euphoric
Whispering sweet nothings into the
sugar while pulling taffy, the
gourmand ignites hidden passions in
the consumer. I’ll have what she’s
having.
Power 2: When consumed, the pulled
taffy incapacitates the consumer in
noisy euphoria.
8. Bourdain’s Small Meal among
Friends
#imbue
The gourmand carefully crafts a
quaint meal for two, weaving soft
but powerful connections between
the plates.
Power 1: For one hour, the gourmand
and a guest share a bond of
beneficence, always looking out for
the other in all things.
Power 2: The bond lasts a day.
Power 3: The bond lasts a week.
Power 4: A month.
Power 5: A year.
Power 6: As long as each lives.
9. Alain’s Brief Respite
Singing nostalgic tunes into the
cookware, the gourmand brings a
touch of peace to the camp.
Power 2: All who partake in the meal
in a 30ft diameter will not be
accosted by outside forces as long as
the cookware isn’t cleaned or used
for another meal.
10. Ramsay’s Corn Tracker
The gourmand turns over a single
indigestible seed, bean, or kernel
until they know it intimately, before
dropping it in their cooking.
Power 1: Once the kernel is
consumed, the gourmand will be
able to track the consumer anywhere
until the kernel has passed through
the consumer’s digestive system.
11. The Glutton’s Iron Stomach
Iron guts.
Power 3: The gastromancer can
fortify their stomach lining and
digest almost anything without
issue. Consuming it is a different
matter altogether.
12. Emeril’s Coded Appetizers
The gourmand mixes emotions,
ideas and even words into the salad,
batter or stew, all to be consumed.
Power 1: The gourmand suffuses the
meal with an emotion to be felt by
the consumer.
Power 2: The meal is suffused with
an idea vaguely understood by the
consumer.
Power 3: Three full sentences are
perfectly understood by the
consumer of the meal.
13. A Meal Remembered
The gourmand may summon a meal
from the past. Consuming it will
allow the gourmand to experience
the consumer's emotions when they
ate it. The meal summoned is the
most recent meal that meets the
chosen criteria.
Power 1: The gourmand may define 1
criteria about the meal: consumer,
date, location, or dining companion.
Power 2: The gourmand may define 2
criteria.
Power 3: The gourmand may define 3
criteria.
Power 4: The gourmand may define
all 4 criteria.
14. The Steak Well Medium
The gourmand can closely examine
the lines on the surface of a cooked
steak in order to determine the
location of any nearby sources of
potable water.
Power 1: Works within 100 meters.
Power 2: Works within 1,000 meters.
Power 3: Works within 10,000 meters.
15. Ray's Perceptive Tongue
The gourmand licks their food in
arcane patterns, knowing its sources
and transformations as if they made
it themselves.
Power 1: From one taste of a dish,
the gourmand intuitively knows the
ingredients and recipe of the dish.
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16. Futuresight Feast 18. The Glutton’s Hollow Leg
The gourmand crafts a meal from the The gastromancer can transport
entrails and eyeballs of a ritually something they consume into a
purified beast. Whoever eats it gets a small pocket dimension within their
vision of the future. body. The pocket dimension only
remains for so long before it
Power 1: A uselessly vague and
collapses and the items held within
allegorical vision, comprehensible
must be expelled. What goes in must
only in hindsight.
go out after all.
Power 3: A subconscious
Power 1: 1 stone worth of items for
premonition of peril, providing
1d4 hours.
several seconds of warning when the
danger looms. Power 2: 5 stones worth of items for
1d4 days.
Power 5: A vision of a great
opportunity in the near future. Power 3: 1 sacks worth of items for 1
week.
Power 7: A messiah is foretold. The
time, place, and circumstance of Power 5: 1 sacks worth of items until
their coming are revealed. they decide to expel it.
Power 9: The eater sees themself in
the distant future, happy and 19. The Glutton’s Terrifying
successful, with all their goals Unhinging Jaw
achieved. They gain a vast insight as Like a serpent, the gastromancer is
to how this future can come to pass. able to unhinge their jaw to eat
something bigger than their mouth.
17. Finally, Some Good F***ing Food Fangs not included.
The sauceror can cook a meal so Power 1: The jaw unhinges as long as
delicious that everyone with a the gastromancer’s skull. They may
mouth, from disgruntled chefs to need help chewing.
swine can understand its
gourmeticity. The consumer is Power 3: The jaw unhinges even
compelled to eat until the food is further and the muscles are strong
finished and during that time their enough to chew properly.
disposition is improved according to Power 5: The gastromancer’s teeth
the marvellousness of the meal. grow stronger, able to bite through
Power 1: The consumer's disposition things normal teeth couldn’t. Most
improves by one step, from hostile stone still poses difficulties but
to wary, from indifferent to kind etc. rumor has it they can eat through
stuckforce.
Power 2: By two steps.
Power 4: To that of an ally.
The duration of this enchantment
depends on how much food is made.
1 soap: Several delicious moments.
(1d4 turns).
1 stone: More than a meal; the
affected will wait until they can eat
the rest. (1d4 scenes).
1 sack: A whole week.
Average cookware prevents greater
quantities, but the enterprising
gastromage may find a way to cook
at scale.

4
THE GASTRO TERRORIST
DOSSIER

Food is serious business.

Sometimes, it gets too serious.
You didn’t think it would happen to you. You live in a nice settlement, where
only the occasional nomadic raiding party or nascent star-god comes to call.
Nonetheless, they came. With nothing left to leave behind, you found
like-minded individuals to join in your quest to end gastroterrorism in all of
its insidious forms.
You’ve hunted them all now for decades. You’ve stopped so many before they
could act, but so many others have been able to ruin lives before their plans
were laid bare.
Not anymore.
Your spies have travelled back and forth across the earth and have returned
with ample harvest.
Here is your dossier.

1d30 GASTRO TERRORISTS

1. The Fermentabomber
A master brewer and phytomancer
who masquerades at night and
plants small jars of putrid
fermentation experiments all across
the town. The jars are sealed tight,
shaken and stirred, and infused with
magical energies to speed up
fermentation. They always explode
at night in the later half of the week,
going into the weekend.
Why does the Fermentabomber do
this? Well, they lament the days of
their pub being the most popular in
town and are trying to close down
the rest of the businesses in the
carousing district.
2. Spaghettaboutit
The Spaghettaboutit specializes in
attacking libraries, museums, and
other places of historical import and
learning, in their passionate pursuit
of total history abolition. They
believe the world would be a better
place if only we untethered from the
useless past.
Their calling card? A plate of
spaghetti, daintily placed on the
scene of the crime. Their one true
enemy is the Pennemorrow.

5
3. The Salamis Liberation Front
In an effort to combat the excessive
price of charcuterie in the Violet City,
this clandestine secret society
infiltrates meat packing plants and
sabotages the recipes of sausage
makers whose meats become more
expensive than they deem
appropriate.
4. Fartsonist
Invisible, highLy flammable gas pockets—detected
only by smell—are his calling card. Targets
crowded places.
5. Tunationalista
Fighting for tuna rights, the
Tunationalista are a radical
extremist group working under the
shadowy control of a mastermind
rotten to the albacore. Their
sofishticated methods include
tunaciously poisoning non-tuna fish
pens across the country as well as
DDOSing restaurants, food agencies,
and markets that specialize in
non-tuna gastronomy.
6. The Broken Tooth Society
This nefarious band of failed dental
students have been hired by their
former teachers to sprinkle rocks
into unsuspecting diners'
sandwiches in order to drive up
demand for dental surgeries.
7. Meat Planters
Carnivorous sect that plants meat
into the dishes of vegan restaurants.
8. The Mac Hand
These lacto-anarchists use highly
concentrated mac and cheese
powder to build bombs that they
toss into fancy pasta restaurants in
order to force people to eat mac and
cheese. Their symbol is an orange
hand on a white background. There
is a rumor that they are financed by
agents of the dairy industry.
Beware anyone you see on the street
with cheese on their fingers.
9. Cheese Messiah
Either a distributed goopy golem or
a sentient noble mold. In any case,
they spread the gospel of the Blue
God: all must join the noble rot. Very
dangerous. Avoid the spores.
10. The Escargonauts
A group of bandits who ride a giant
nautilus golem from town to town
and raid them in search of the
Golden Dream. The harbinger to the
violence they bring is the wonderful
smell of garlic and butter wafting
into town without any obvious
source.
11. The Necrogastromancers
Cultists who reanimate the cooked
carcasses of dinners everywhere.
Beware the readers of the
Gastronomicon!
12. Radishalist
Convinced all sentient life are really
multi-dimensional dreams of a
sentient species of void radishes. In
a few cases, is actually correct.
13. The Sassquash
Appears to be a normal squash, but
its psychic powers allow it to
manipulate the emotions and
memories of people nearby. It uses
this power to sow discord within
otherwise friendly groups.
14. The Cinnabomber
Puts cinnamon in just friggin'
everything. Keeps telling people to
believe in the Spice.
15. The Uncommon Ramen Shamen
A group of individuals hell-bent on
destroying any soup noodle not
made of wheat.
16. Sisterhood of the Mirage
Spectrum Satrap copies that have
eschewed both Satrapy and Flesh,
out to make hard light mirages of
foodstuffs for hungry travellers…only
to end the spell mid-bite.
17. BBQ-Anon
A deranged group of conspiracy
theorists who believe that clouds
are actually vapor from a giant
smoker that they are being cooked
in. They believe that only their
glorious leader, The Meownald, can
drain the swamp and save them.
The Meownald is not actually a cat,
but a large, semi-sentient, diseased
toad with fake cat ears and a bad
wig. Its followers see a cat. It eats
people and blames the deep state
for their disappearance.
18. Crown Brulée
Anti-monarchist leveller dedicating
to burning the undeserving rich and
serving them in desserts to his band
of merry gastrognomes.
19. The Turduc-kin
Newly-uplifted Turkey/duck hybrids
out for revenge—revenge most fowl.
20. The Manateens
These adolescent gentle giants
disguise themselves as humans and
try to stage elaborate sweet potato
heists from farmers markets. They're
usually very easy to spot as the
machine legs they use to walk on
land make them tower above the
crowds, and it's very hard to find
human clothes that will stretch over
their entire 1,000-lb frame. Their
hijinks are always gentle,
wholesome, and easy to detect, but
shop vendors usually play along and
set aside sweet potatoes for the
giants to "steal" cause they're so
darn cute.
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21. The Mood Carts
Disguised as everyday food cart
vendors, these emotional separatists
surreptitiously serve subtle mood
suppressors to encourage social
alienation.
22. Kombucha Christ
Water-bound archnemesis of the
Cheese Messiah. Fights the Cheese
Messiah whenever possible. The
cheese must be subsumed within
the mother culture.
The flood is coming.
The slightly sour, bubbly, goopy,
flood.
23. Pie Ra
Will leave large pies and quiches, by
arrangement with local law
enforcement via the exchange of
codewords.
24. Quick-Rise the Knife
A one-man army against all impure
food sources. No yeast. No bacteria.
Only the sublime physical and
chemical reaction is allowed in the
food of the people. Uses a variety of
antibacterial and antifungal
weaponry.
25. The Stinky Cardinal
Cruel and debauched leader of a
coven of mold vampires
masquerading as a the abbey of
Saint Bes the Vengeful. They are
always on the lookout for new molds
and slimes to incorporate into their
fruiting body sexual.
Nobody knows what that means.
26. Counter-Culinary-revolutionaries
In order to reestablish the goal of
‘Good food for the good of
aristocracy only,’ they go around at
night repricing all food to higher
prices, but especially basics, in order
to force all but the aristocracy out of
the market for fine foods.
Though some have suggested it is a
counter-counter-revolutionary
wheeze, since even before the
revolution, many of the aristocracy
had fallen on hard times.
27. The Mycelinic Ascendency
Sapient mushrooms pushing fungal rights.
Very infectious.
Very tasty.
28. The Society Against the Unethical 30. The Cabal of the Recombinant
Treatment of Cephalopods Spagyrya
This decentralized group hits A counter-counter insurgency that
seafood restaurants (and bars that opposes the aims of the
serve calamari), terrorizes the Fermentabomber, the Cheese
patrons by spraying black ink all Messiah, the Church of Kombucha
over them, and proceeds to liberate Christ, and the Gospel of the
the kitchen of any cephalopods they Stinking Cardinal.
still have, alive or dead. The group
They also claim responsibility for the
attacks are only carried out by 8 or
raiding of numerous grain silos and
10 members which leads the
trading vessels transporting a variety
authorities to theorize that there is a
of grains. Their purported aim is the
schism within the faction on the
distillation of every fermentation-
most revered cephalopod - octopus
based terrorist organisation into a
or squid? In reality, the Society is led
spirit of transcendent purity called
by a hivemind of tentacles that view
“The One”. The One will be single-
all cephalopods as equals that
malt, single-barrel, single-grain,
require liberation. The attack groups
single-yeast, single-hops and single-
of 8 and 10 are simply a means to
alongle, and unify all flavours.
camouflage their centralization. The
Society also denounces the Only one bottle of The One will
Escargonauts for sullying the result, and whoever drinks it will
majesty of cephalopods by making become the Ubercat forever.
their nautilus-vome subservient to
them.
29. Licky-loo Larry
Amphibian hybrid with prehensile
elongated tongue, and a penchant
for tasting everyone’s food.
Kill on sight.
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FOLK SAYINGS
OF THE
GASTRO GNOME
The Gastro Gnome is culture hero to restauranteurs, baristas, and all other
practicers of the mundane and thaumaturgical culinary arts. The Gastro
Gnome has existed within the hearts of foodies for across time and space,
without end. Here are some the sayings about the shy creature.

1d25 FOLK SAYINGS ABOUT THE GASTRO GNOME

1. The Gastrognome created the Ur-pizza by hea�ng the
very stone founda�ons of the earth.
2. He taught the steppe nomads the wonders of maize
and the tor�lla.
3. She baked the first pie with the kidney of the World
Cow.
4. They invented the spidersilk pastries so popular
among the Pas�che Aristocrats of Neoceviche.
5. He can teleport from oven to oven, heat does not
hurt him.
6. It is actually a golem.
15. They leave a golden walnut in every harvest.
16. Crême paté is spread on fine bague�es to celebrate
the Gastro Gnome.
17. They return lost stockings and socks filled with
baked goods.
18. She haunts the dreams of gastro terrorists.
19. If you find bird poop on your café door, then the
Gastro Gnome has blessed your business.
20. When they saw what most humans ate, they wept
for us. And from their salty tears sprang the first school
of anchovies.

7. She is an undying dwarf on a mission to feed the
poor with unmolding bread and unro�ng fishes.
8. The Gastro Gnome invented pepto-bismol.
9. He died and was eaten for our sins, and is reborn
with every deep-dish goulash-pizza.
10. The lasagna is the holy dish of the feline Gastro
Gnomes.
21. The Gastro Gnome is said to wander the grasslands
disguised as a confused beggar. If you are lucky enough
to meet her, and kind enough to offer her hospitality at
your camp, she will cook for you the most wonderful
meal you could imagine.
22. If you smell a phantom smell, like the finest meal
you’ve ever dreamt of, that’s the Gastro Gnome’s
footstep you’ve just stepped in.

11. The Gastrognomicon was ghost wri�en by
seventeen possessed witches.
12. The Gastro Gnome is praised by the holy u�erance,
"Nom nom."
13. If there is a Gastro Gnome, there must also be an
Intes�nelf.
14. On fes�val days, they lay out beau�ful spreads for
spouses and friends.
23. The Gastro Gnome is wri�ng the menu for his next
feast. Each course is more beau�fully appointed than
the one before. The feast lengthens...
24. The Gastro Gnome's feet smell like holy bishop
cheese.
25. The real Gastro Gnome is the friends we made
along the way.

8
RESTAURANT FIGHTS
- What did you say about my cooking?!?
- Look—I just said that the borscht needed more salt. And lamb, instead of
beef...
...and some ketchup.

1d50 IMPLEMENTS OF RESTAURANT DESTRUCTION

Item Damage Description
1. Pot of scampi 1d10 Two-handed. Clumsy. Scalding. Filled with annoyed
scampi (as caltrops).
2. Cast iron skillet 1d8 Loud. As mace. Blinding if filled with paella or sauce.
3. Chef’s messer 1d8 As sword.
4. Spit roast 1d8 As pike. Clumsy, Knockdown if pig is still on spit.
5. Stuffed turkey 1 stat (AGI) Blinding if stuck on head.
6. Silverware 1d3 Thrown. Loud. As shurikens.
7. Stretchy mozzarella 1d4 Scalding. On a successful hit, the attacker has a 1/4
chance of capturing the target’s weapon and
stealing it in salty, goopy goodness.
8. Bouillon 1d6 Scalding. Pasta in bouillon entangles, giving target
Clumsy.
9. Rolling pin 1d6 As club.
10. Sack of flour 1d6 Explodes in a Blinding, Flammable cloud.
11. Meringue pie none Social. Blinding. Pauses combat while everyone
uncontrollably giggles.
12. Stuffed and 1d10 Two-handed. Clumsy. Can be used to charge or pin
mounted marlin opponent to the wall.
13. Elegant chair 1d8 Two-handed. Clumsy. Fragile. After attack, becomes
carved chair leg.
14. Carved chair leg 1d6 Pointy. Good vs. Vampires (including wine vampires).
15. Tenderizer 1d4 As hammer. Does not break.
16. Potato peeler 1d4 Damage can only be healed in a medical facility
(Skin grafts, and such).
17. Table 1d6 Can be pushed/flipped. If flipped, Defensive (+2).
18. Cutting board 1d4 Defensive (+1). Can catch arrows once per fight.
19. Serving platter 1d4 Can be Thrown as a discus. Fragile if used to bong
target on the head for 1d8 damage and Blinding
(due to chirping birds).
20. Deep [fat[ fryer 2d4* Two-handed. Very Dangerous. Very Clumsy.
Exploding damage and 1 stat damage to each
physical stats
21. Pengling cookie none Thrown. Fragile. Everyone in the fight regrets their
anger.

9
ITEM TAGS
Acid: Damages armor. Flavors fries.
Blinding: Blinds target for 1 turn.
Bludgeoning: 1 stat (END) on crit.
Clumsy: [-] on attacks.
Cold: Slows target. slows rot.
Crushing: 1 stat (AGI) on crit.
Dangerous: 1/2 chance attacker is
hit along with target.
d6: Roll 1d6 and apply result.
Defensive: (+n) to defense score.
Emotional: Feels bad, man.
Fire: 1d6 ongoing damage until
doused. 1/4 spread on contact.
Flammable: Fire will spread on
contact.
Fragile: Destroyed after one use.
Gun: Point and shoot.
Knockdown: Target knocked to the
floor.
Loud: Will cause people to run
towards the commotion (brawl!).
Morale: Target must succeed test
to not retreat from combat.
Pointy: Put the pointy end in the
other guy.
Scalding: 1d4 damage for 2 turns.
Social: Damage done to your
influence on the crowd.
Suffocating: Target takes damage
from lack of air.
Thrown: You can throw it.
Two-handed: Seems pretty clear.

10
FIN
11