BIRTHDAY

Lee Kok Liang

She flushed when the baby stared at the window.

What a lovely little thing, she thought, with fat rolls on the thighs. A bit dirty. She wished his mother would

wash him properly. Oh, she knew what it was like. He would play on the mud floor, picking up little bits of wood

and food. If she could only take care of him, she would keep him clean like a well-washed plate. But she had

heard somewhere that dirty children grew fat, and clean children grew thin.

Grandmother was calling her from the ground floor. She let go of the curtains; had another glimpse of the

baby on the fishwife's back below, before she lowered the shutters, and quickly ran down the stairs.

Grandmother was sitting on the hard wooden bench. She had crossed her legs, stretching the sarong tight

across her knees, and was busy munching betel-leaf.

'Lo, here's the child. Come and meet Uncle Teng from the northern village, child.'

A wave of the hand from Grandmother, and she sat on the cool floor, nodding to Uncle Teng.

Uncle Teng leaned on the fat end of the bench and looked at her. He was smiling. Teeth brownish from too

much betel-leaf chewing. There were fine wrinkles on his face. He nodded and turned to Grandmother.

Grandmother was talking, asking about the fruit plantation Uncle Teng had, how many coconuts he got per
tree, and whether the white ants were giving trouble, and, if they were, he should go to the 'red-haired' man's
store and get some liquid. If he did not have enough money, she would lend him some.

While saying this, Grandmother smiled at her. Uncle Teng nodded and also smiled.

Uncle Teng talked. He told Grandmother how his brothers were going to build some huts along the river
bank: One of them was lucky, because he had a fine boy to help him. About twenty-threë he was. Strong and
very brave.Thrifty and hard-working.

Her calves were getting cramped, so she shifted and sat more comfortably.

It was not so hot now. But it was steaming in the afternoon when she was drying up the plates and washing
the earthenware.

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 Uncle Teng and Grandmother were still talking, and now and then Uncle Teng would give a slow laugh. She
could not see Uncle Teng clearly. It was getting dark. But she noticed red juice of betel-leaf dripping down from
the corners of Grandmother's mouth.

Their voices buzzed on like mosquitoes.

Twenty-five years old today, she thought. No one remembered her birthday. But she again crept up to the
loft when she had cleared the table, and took out a dark coconut box. At the bottom, there were pieces of red
string. She took them out and counted twenty-four. From the pocket beneath her blouse, she drew out another
piece. Now there were twenty-five.

It was murky up there. But looking up, the sky was bright blue, and the sharp rays of the sun caught the
spinning particles of dust floating near the tiny skylight. She would have to brush away the cobwebs
sometime next week, and, closing the box, she climbed down the ladder.

She lit the candles when she entered her room. There were no electric lights because Grandmother had
forbidden them. She moved the candle so that the light shone on her. The mirror caught her reflection.

They said that she had her mother's eyes and her grandfather's chin. She took a step forward and sat on
the wooden bed. Her hair was a bit wild, and she must put on some oil. Her breasts showed under her blouse.
She flushed and told herself that she must tighten her breastcloth and Hatten them back. Grandmother would
certainly talk to her about them-il she did not do so. She dreaded Grandmother calling them 'chicken's
bottoms.'

'Go and call C.B.'

Grandmother Ieant forward and coughed out the betel-cud.

Uncle Teng was watching her as she pushed herself up from the floor.

C.B. was in his room. And when he heard that Grandmother wanted him, he yawned, stretched out his legs,
and made faces at her. After a while, he got up and said he would come.

They walked down the stairs together, C.B. in his new white shorts. And his new sandals slapped on the
steps like the thud of clothes on a washing-stone.

He went up to Grandmother and when she pointed to Uncle Teng he looked at the old man and smiled.
He started to laugh and said that Grandmother seemed to have a lot of old male friends at this time of the
year. Uncle Teng laughed but Grandmother started to scold C.B.

C.B. sat down. Uncle Teng asked how old he was, and on learning his age, started to joke with C.B. about his
future wives. C.B. talked about modern girls and how they were wearing 'red-haired' skirts and had smooth
legs, and, when Grandmother chipped in before he got too far, he turned around and said they did not have
such red lips as Grandmother's. Uncle Teng laughed and C.B. laughed. Grandmother nodded.

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 It was getting late. Uncle Teng was to stay back for some dishes. Very well-cooked, and Grandmother
nodded to her. Uncle Teng smiled.

They sat on stools around the table. A candle stood in the middle of the room. The walls were dark, and,
as she stooped to rake up the fire, she could see, from the corner of her eyes, their moving shadows on the
wall.

C.B. and his small head darted to and fro on the wall.

Grandmother was chewing again, licking her lips like an old cat. Uncle Teng was sitting quietly, and as his
shadow fell on the corner of the wall his nose became long and his chin dropped down.

Cockroaches crawled along the walls, and one of them, when Grandmother's.shadow lurched, whirred
across the room and landed on the pile of firewood on the Hoor.

She raked the fire again.

Their shadows blurred and then sorted themselves out. Uncle Teng's nose became very short, and he had
no chin. The back of his head swelled out like a jackfruit. Grandmother became very thin; her throat twisted
out of shape when she opened her mouth. C.B. was a formless mass between the two.

She stirred the pot of rice. The steam rose up and stung her eyes. She turned her face away and saw the
cockroach on the firewood. No, there were two of them, twirling their long antennae at each other. One of
them scampered away and the other chased after it. They came out in the open again and started to twirl their
antennae. After a while, both of them whirred across the room and landed on the wall.

She followed them. They crawled on Grandmother's shadow, over her forehead, and, when Grandmother
jerked, they were on her mouth. There were far too many cockroaches on the wall. Silky reddish backs, all
with twirling antennae.

The rice was simmering now. Soon it would be drying up. Curry was the special dish tonight. She hoped she
had not added too much pepper. Grandmother would cough. And C.B, would mumble and glare at her. Uncle
Teng was the special guest and she must do well tonight.

They glanced up and smiled when she placed plates of rice before them. The dishés were now on the table,
except for the curry. She carefully heated it up and then slowly she dished it into the bowl, and it dripped out
from the ladle like betel-juice. All was ready and she took up the curry.

A cockroach whirred in the air, and she hoped it would not drop into the bowl. There it was, on her right
arm, with twirling antennae. She leaned to her left, and the hot curry suddenly spilled over the edge and ran
down her fingers.

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 Uncle Teng was talking to C.B. when the curry drenched his trousers. Grandmother looked up at once and
became very white. Uncle Teng was on his feet, and she rushed for the cloth, mumbling, and quickly wiped the
curry off his clothes.

Stooping down so that Grandmother could not see her, and where she could not hear her rantings so clearly,
she wiped up the mess on the floor.

'Child, you are so clumsy. Uncle Teng, she's born with blind eyes, and has fingers made of sticks. Are you
scalded, Uncle Teng? Child, as a punishment, you'll have no food tonight. No, it's all right, Uncle Teng. She'll
have no food tonight.'

She sat on the pile of firewood, while they were eating. Their shadows were huge and still. She played with
her toes and tried to fight back her tears. Something was crawling up her legs. It was a cockroach. She threw it
down and squashed it under her big toe.

Uncle Teng had gone now. She quickly washed up the plates, blew out the candles, and ran hurriedly up the

stairs. Grandmother called out to her from her bench, but she pretended not to hear.

Her room at last. She stood before the mirror and tried to see if her eyes were red. Grandmother was

climbing up the stairs; slow thumps from her walking stick. There was a pause as she rested on the banisters.

The thumps came up the corridor and stopped before her door.

Grandmother pushed into the room and looked at her.

'Everything was going on as I planned till that thing happened. I am so tired of it all. You'll be a spinster

for the rest of your life. Clumsy bitch.'

She stared at the mirror. They said that she had her mother's eyes which were very dark and shiny just

before she was born.