T H E M A N NE R S

OF TH E

AR IS TO C RAC Y .

ONE O F TH EM S ELVES .

A G UIDE To TH E E TIQ UE TTE OF DINNE RS ,

WE DD INGS , AT H OS TE S S AND GUE S T,

TO WN AND co UN TR y VIS ITS , PR E CE D E N CE

OF G UE S TS , GOING TO 0 0 0 16 7; E TC .

WARD , L OC K AND C O .
, WARWIC K H O U S E,
I
SAL S B U RY S Q U A RE ,
n o.

3
.
 C O NTE NTS .

INT R OD U CT I ON

DU TI ES OF A H o s TE s s

DU T I E S OF GU E S T S

D U T I ES OF A C H A PERO N

THE E TI Q U ETT E OF INV I T A TI ONS A ND D I NN ER

PA R T I E S

TA BL E DECO R A T I O N

AFT ERN O ON TEA

GOO D M A NNER S

C O U NT RY V I S I TIN G

PICNIcs

M A NNER S AND C U S TO M S A T A
TH E S E S ID E

TH E E T I Q U E TT E OF WE DD I NG S
TH E E T IQU E TT E O F MOUR N I N G
PRE CED E NCE

DI NNE R G I V E RS
-

D I NER S

OF ADD RES S I N G LE TT ER S
 I NT R O D U CT IO N .

E TI Q U E TTE book shave always been considered

legitimate subj ects for mirth Thes e p rim er s of
.
'

good manners are n aturally useless to persons ,

whose daily course of life from their infancy has

led them only over well trodden paths of good
-

manners accurately marked out for the m by many

,

generations of well bred anc estors

-
S uch how .
,

ever is far from being the c ase with all who are
,
“
in soc iety.
”
Take for instanc e the man ufa c
, ,

t urer of blacking who chose as a motto and h a d ,

engraved on his carriage the couplet,

B l a ck in g b ought it
Who ’
d h ave though t it ?

He probably required some little edu c atio n in

minor morals before he could succeed in pass
ing muster under the criti cal eyes of the well bred -

pers ons among whom his carriage would c ertainly

su cceed in placing him soon or lat e To such as .

he a book on etiquette is no useless volu me To

’

.
,

him v ifiea n d daughters it woul d be a still greater

2 I NTRO DU C TI ON .

prize ; for women acknowledge more readily than

men the value of that universal passport to con
sideration perfect manners
— Also women are .
,

qui c ker in profiting by the hints contained in such

volumes an d are less likely to b e l ed as tray by
,

any errors they may contain .

E verybody will readily recal l some amusing

instances of the mistakes m ade by persons sud
d en l y introduced into a class of society w hose
manners and customs are as a foreign tongue to
outsiders . There are stories of table n apkins -

tuc k ed in securely at the collar of the diner ; of

fi n g er glasses whose contents found their way
-

do wn the (probably unwilling) throat of the un

,

e asy guest w ho when the amazed butler had

, ,

replenished the glass with water said d ecIS Iv ely , ,

Not any more thank you ,

”
We have all heard
.

of the misguided in dividuals who eat peas with

their knives sending shudders of anxiety through
,

their fair neighbours with each knife load : need -

less anxiety for practice has probably made the

—

offender as expert as a j uggler in the unnecessary

use of cold steel .

It is a simple m a tter to point O t glaring sole u

c is m s such as these ; but at the same time it is

, ,

impossible to teach good manners in t he best ,

“
sense of the phrase The fruit of noble mind ”
.

c annot be grafted on every tree and further there , ,

a re many who cannot understand that good man

ners are anything more than an outer polish which

c a n be applied at will .
 GO OD MAN N E RS .
3
M any people however have noble minds whose
, , ,

ma nners a re m or e than questionable since other

'

thi ngs than the nobl e mind are necessary to the

formation of goo d manners A gentle unob trusive .
,

regard for t he feelings and comfort of others even ,

in the smallest t r ifl es ; perfect unsel fi shness ; the

,

habit of a s s oc1a t in g with those whose grooves of

th ought and modes of a c tion are akin to our ow n
a quick instinct in avoiding topics d angerous to the ‘

comfort of those around u s ; a se nsitiveness for

'

others and an utter disregard of what is disagree

able to ourselves a 11 these are ne c essary to pro
,
—

du c e those fine manners which render the owner a

fas c inating com panion even to an utter stranger
, .

An ac complis hed hypo c rite in fact , says some

”
‘

matter of fa c t reader ; and we are fain to confess

- —

that a certain amount of dissembling is neces sary

to pleasant manners W e must hide small annoy.

a u ces great and little cares and above all those

, , , ,

griefs which make life dreary the world empty , ,

and the daily routine a punishme nt terrible to be

'

borne Th e widow reappears in the world after

.

a loss that forbids her to hope for ha ppiness herself,

and leaves her only the lives of others to live in .

B ut will she cloud the brightness of those around

her with her own grief ? Oh no ; she puts on the
veil of a most kindly hypocrisy ; speaks cheerily as
of yore ; ent e rs into the plans and thoughts of
tho s e she is with and keeps for her house of
,

Solitude the loneliness and g l Oom that are her

atmo sphere .
4 I N TRO D U C TI O N .

The hostess receives among her morning letter s

one that fi lls her with apprehe n si on about a n
'

absent son or daughter : a sudden illness perhaps , ,

or a serious ac c ident The guests meet unknow .

,

ing at the breakfast table W ill she put them in

,
-
.

the disagreeable positio n of offering her their con

soling platitudes for what else ca n they do under
-

the circumstances No she pl ays the hypocrite ; ,

makes her morning greetings as us ual i s as care ,

fully attentive to each guest as she was yesterday

morning ; and only she herself knows what the
e ffort costs her If she finds herself unable for
.

it she deputes some one to fi ll her place ; but she

,

is far too we ll bred to cause discomfort to her

guests even though her own su fferings exceed a
,

thousand times aught tha t so mild a term may “

c onvey .

There is no doubt hypocrisy in this but hypo

, , ,

cr is y with its bright side turned outwards ; for even

“
fa iling s have a silver lining when they l ean to
v irtue s side ”
’
Who can fi nd fault with the hyp o
.

c risy that shows itself in an utter ignoring of s elf

that is but a v eil that the wearer draws over her

own cares an d sorrows that no one else may be
troubled or grieved by the sight of them ?
B ut if the essence of good manners is impossible
to tea ch there are many little details of conduct
,

that not only c a n be tau ght but that it would be ,

impossible to divine for one s self The formal ’

.

wording of an i n vitation i s one of these the eti ,

q uet t e of c a rd leaving another On the se a n d

-
.
 DE TAI L S or E TI Q UETTE .
5

other small but important matters we give full

“

, ,

details in the following chapters Ignorance of .

such things as these trivial and un important as

,

they are in one sense proves a deeper ignora n ce

,

that of the habits of good so c iety and of this no

one w ho is in soci ety however lately they may
,

have entered it would wish to be suspected To

, .

such anxiou s learners we commend th e following

p ag es which we have tried to m ake as useful as
,

possib le .

I nformation will be found as to the nume rous

and onerous duties of the hostess of a large party ,

as well as upon the details of etiquette of a morh~

ing call I t has been our effort to render the book
.

as nearly c omplete a manual of the necessary fo rm

a l it ie s of e nte rt aining as it is possible to be ; and
‘

to do so we have found it necessary to be what

,

many may perhaps consider almost too minute in

detail . Those however who read the bo ok with
the obj e c t of l earning from it will scarcely find ,

fault w ith us on this account ; and they have been

through out our spec ial study .
4 INTROD U CTI ON .

The hostess receives among her morning letters

one that fills h er with apprehe n sion about an
absent son or daughter : a sudden illness perhap s, ,

or a serious ac c ident The guests meet u nknow

. ,

ing at the breakfast table Will she put them in

,
-
.

the d isagreeable position of offering her their COR?

soling platitudes 7for what els e ca n th ey do under
-

the c ircumstances ? No she plays th e hypocrite ; ,

makes her morning greeti n gs as usual is as care

fully attentive to each guest as s he was yesterday
morning ; and only sh e herself knows what the
e ffort c osts her If she fi nds herself unable for
.

it she deputes some On e to fi ll her place ; but she

,

is f ar too well bred to cause d iscomfort to her

g uests even thoug h her own su fferings exceed a
,

thousand times a ught that so mild a term may

convey .

There is n o doubt hypocrisy in this but hypo

, , ,

crisy wit h its bright side turned outwards ; for even

“
fa ilin g s have a s ilver lining when they l ean to
vi rtue s side
’ ”
Who can fi nd fault with the hyp o
.

crisy that shows itself in an utter ignoring of s elf

that is but a veil that the wearer draws over her

own c ares an d sorrows th at no one else may be
troubled or m eved by the sight of them ?
B ut if the essence of good manners is impossible
to teach there are many little details of conduct
,

that not only can be taught but tha t it would be ,

impossible to divine for one s self The formal ’

.

w ording of an i n vitation is one of these the eti ,

g uette of card leaving another O n the se an d

-
.
 DE TAI L S or E TI QUETTE .
5

other small but important matters we give full

, ,

details in the following chapters Ignoran c e of

.

such things as these trivial and unimportant as

,

they are in one sense proves a deeper ignora n ce

,

that of the habits of good society ; and of this no

one w ho is in soci ety however lately the y may
,

have entered it would wish t o be suspected To

,
.

such anxiou s learners we commend the following

p ages which we have tried to m ake as useful as
,

possib le .

I nformation will be found as to the numerous

and onerous duties of the hostess of a large party ,

as well as upon the details of etiquette of a mor n

ing call I t has been our e ffort to render the book
.

as nearly c omplete a manual of the necessary form

a l it ie s of entertaining as it is possible to be ; and

to do so we have found it necessary to be what

,

many may perhaps consider almost too minute in

detail. Those however who read the book with
the obj ect of l earning from it will scarcely find ,

fault w ith us on this account ; and they have been

through out our spec ial study .
 DU TIE S O F A HO S T ES S .

RECEre G C ALL ERS ; I NTRODU C TI ONS ; REC E I V I NG G U ESTS FO R

DI NNER ; ETIQ U ETTE OF DI NNE RS ; AFTERNO O N AND E V ENI NG
-

R ECE PTI ONS ; ATTE NTI ONS To PROFES S I ONAL M U S I C I A NS ; B ALL S ;

CO U NTRY V I S ITORS .

\V H EN visitors are announced for a morning visi t ,

t he hostess should rise to re c eive t hem if they are

.

l ad ies but re c eive a gentleman se ated ; she of

, ,

course shakes hands with each visitor If fresh

,
.

visitors arrive before the first ones depa rt it is not ,

now c onsidered ne c essary to i ntrodu c e them to

each other though the hostess has it in her dis
,

cretion to d o so if she conceives that su c h a c o u r s e

,

would be agreeable to both parties W hen the .

guests depart she shakes hands with each rising ,

if they are l adies rings the be ll that th e servant

,

may be in attendance to open t he street door .

-
,

and if they are ladies alone a c companies them to

, ,

the drawing room door and c loses it after them

-
, .

This latter is a courtesy too frequently negle cted .

I n receiving her guests for a dinner party it is —

the duty of the host ess to be in the drawing room -

s om e few minutes before the ho u r named for their

arrival partly to see that everything i s arranged
,

as she would wish but prin c i p ally lest difference

,
 P RE S I D I N G AT DI N N E R .
7

of clocks or an y other reason should cause some

, ,

Of them to arrive a little before the time S he .

rises to receive each gue st whether lady or gen ,

t l e m an and it is more c onvenient that her st a tion

,

should be near t he door though she should seat ,

herself beside and converse for a few moments with

, ,

ea c h new arrival The duty of instru c ting ea c h

.

gentleman whi c h lady t o take down is very fr e ,

quentl y performed by the host but this has the

.
.
,

inconvenience of leav ing them in uncertainty as

to the order in whi c h they ought to le ave the room ;
it is therefore far better for the hostess to adhere
to the old fashi oned plan of requesting each gen
-
.
‘

t l e m a n to take a particular lady in due order after ,

the host has offered his arm to the l ady of highe s t

rank ; and the host as ea c h c oupl e rea ches the
,

dining room should indi c ate the a pp o in t e d pl a ce

-
,
’

so as to ensure the arrangement of the table being

su c h as was determined on befor e hand At the .

c onclusion of dinner the host ess bows to the lady

of highest rank and the ladies leave the room in

,

the order they entered it the hostess bringing u p ,

the rear I n the drawing room she should not

.
-

con fine he rs elf t o conversation with one individual ,

but sho uld endeavour to talk a little to ea c h

guest.

At an afternoon or evening reception the hostes s

receives the firs t guests s eated in t he drawin g
room rising to greet ea ch ; then as the rooms
, ,

fi ll , and t he arrivals be c ome more frequent s he ,

takes her stand at the drawing room door or, -

,
8 DU TI E S OF A H O S TE S S .

m ore often still on the landing gre e ting her guests

, ,

as they reach t he t o p of the staircase and having

'

, ,

if pos sible some little app ropriate mot for each as

,

they pass on into the drawing room S he does -

.

not des c end to the refreshment r oom till the maj or -

ity of the guests have done so .

If the entertainment be a c once rt she m ust say

a few pleasant words to the professional performers
when they arrive see that they are c omfortably
,

settled in their places behind the piano and have ,

everyt hing they require su c h as wine and water

, .

S h e should also be particular to compliment t hem

on their performances at t h e end of the concert ,

and to see that they have refreshments in the

‘

dini n g room I n the c ase of amateur music the

-
.

hostes s sh ould make a po in t of congratulating each

performer at the con c lusion of his o r her song or
pie c e an d should b e particular in seeing that the
,

ladies are taken down to have ic e tea or any oth er , ,

refreshment they m ay prefer .

At a b all the hostess chief duty after seeing

,
’
,

that ev e ryt hin g is in due order is to re c eive her

‘

guests As a rule it is unnecessary for her to

.
,

introdu c e people to ea c h other ; but if she sees any

g irl destitute Of a partner she will as a matter of
, ,

c ourse request the

y o u n g l a d y s c haperon to allow
’

her to introdu c e a p artner and introduce some ,

gentleman first to the c haperon and then to the

, ,

young lady In like manner when supp er is

.
,

announced and the host has taken down the lady

of h ighest rank the hostess introdu c es gentlemen
,
 P ARTY IN A C O U N TRY H OUS E .
9

to those chaperons who have not been asked to go

down to supper .

The d uties of a hostess in town are compara

t iv e ly slight commencing and ending with th e
,

s pecial party of the moment I n the country they

.

are infinitely more arduous lasting the enti re day

, ,

a n d often continuing for weeks together He r .

first duty and anxiety is the assembling of a suit

able party— people who w ill like to meet ea c h
other or who at any rate to the best of h er belief
, , ,

have no quarrel or reason for not wishing to stay

in the same house S he should be careful not to
.

be vague in her invitations to S ay dis t inctly on,

what day she hopes to see the particular guest or ,

for how long a time ; and when the invitation has

been accepte d she should w rite and mention the
station if the guest has not stayed with her befo re
, ,

a n d t he most con venient trains At some house s .

where there is a great deal of co mpan y kept there

'

are printed notices of the station the various trains , ,

and the distance betw een house and station and ,

one of these enclosed in the invitation obviates all

trouble The hostess should also state whether she
.

intends sending for her friends (t his however is but , ,

rarely done as the horses can sel dom be spared )

, ,

or whether she will ord er a fly for them or else

'

inform the m where they sh ould write to ord er one

for themselves W hen the guests arrive generally
.
,

late in the afternoon the hostess should if possible

, ,

—
that is if not driving out with other guests be
,
—

at home to welcom e the m and h ave tea ready for

,
IO DU TI ES OF A H OS TE S S .

their refreshment As soon as time has been

.

allow ed fo r the conveyan c e of the luggage upstai rs ,

she should show her guests their rooms ; a n d ,

having informed them of the hour of dinner an d ,

shown them whi ch bell will most readily summon

their m aid sh o ul d leave them to rest
, .

As the various guests assemble in the drawing

room before dinner the hostess introduces them to
,

each other and in sending them to dinner en

, , ,

d e a v o u r s as much as possible to c ouple people

di fferently each n ight without too greatly disturb
ing the order of pre c e d en c e After dinner she
'

must be th e moving spirit of the e vening r equ e s t in g

.
,
'

those who are mus ic al to play and sing ar ra n gi n g ,

one or more tables for those who like whist and ,

o rg a n is in g a round g a m e for those who prefer that

'

means of amusement When t he tray with wine

.

a nd water makes its appearance at whatever hour ,

the custom of the house appoints S he at the fi rs t , ,

c onvenient opportunity suggests retiring for the

,

night ac c ompanies to their rooms su c h of the

,

guests as are strangers that day arrive d hopes ,

they are c omfortable and begs them to ask for,

anything they may require .

I n the morning the hostess should be do w n be

fore her guests and be ready to read prayers at the
,

appointed t i me if the host as is frequently the c ase , ,

should be late S he presides at t he breakfast

.
,

and formerly was Unable to enj oy her own from

the ne c essity o f making and pouring out the tea
no l ight m a tter in a large party No w however .
,
 PLAN S FO R THE DAY . II

the custom prevail s of the tea being made by the

“

butler at the side table and the cups ha n ded round .

Th e ho stess is thus free to m ake herself agree

able to her guests to impart information whi c h
,

may have reached her by post and to make pla n s

,

for the day s amusement I t is the direst of mi s

’
.

takes to dictate t o people what they are to do I t .

is better to sugge s t one or two plans : to say that

there are such horses an d su c h carriages availabl e ;
t hat such points of interest in the n eig li bourho o d
a r e within attainable dist ance or that c ertain
friends of some m embers of t he party are within
v isitin g limits and k nown to be at present at ho me

and th en leave them t o c hoose for themsel ves .

Many often prefer strol lin g about the grounds to

“ ”
being taken anywhere an d a wise hostess will
,

allow them to plea s e thems elves and not insis t on,

their d oing so meth ing

“ ”
If t he tim e is the
.

shooting se ason some of the gentlemen W l ll pro

,

bably go out sh ooting but the arrangement of this

,

lies in the host s provinc e if there b e a host ; if

’

not t he hostess announ c es that the keeper wi l l be

, ,

at t he door at a certain hour and leave s t he ,

gentlemen to m ake their own arrangement s with

him .

The old belief that it was the duty of a hostess

never to lose sight of her guests for a momen t
is n ow explode d ; she sees them comfo rtably e s
t a blis hed in the drawing room an d then departs
-
,

to hold counsel with t he c o ok a s to the men u with

’

the housekeeper as to the room s to be appropriated ‘

12 DU TI E S OF A H O STES S .

to the different guests expected within the next fe w

d a y s and wit h the gardener respe c tin g the flowers
,

for the dinner table These m atters settled ; s he

-
.

retires to her san c tum to write and answer letters ,

write out m en us arrange any requisite al t eration

,

in the pa iring of the guests at dinner a n d in short

, , ,

do all he r business This completed she reap

.
,

pe a rs in the drawing room shor tly before lunch eon

-
,

and is then at the disposal of her gu e sts for the

'

rest of the day S he presides at luncheon and

.
,

then either drives out with some of the party or

walks wi th some of the others according to circum
,

stan c es ; and on returning home she dispense s the

tea wel c omes any fresh guests and retires a little
, ,

before d ressing for dinner Wh en guests are

.

dep art ing the hostess should al ways take care to

,

be in the drawing room at least ten minutes before

-

the time n amed for their departure so that they ,

.

may not be obliged to wait to wish her good bye -

and be thereby re ndered nervous as to missing

their train she should also be parti c ular in asking
them to leave written directions as t o where any
letters arriving after their departure should be
sent .

\V hen taki n g friends to a neighbour s house for

’

a ball or any other festivity the hostess shoul d go

,

in the first c arriage so as to be ready to introduce

,

her party as they arrive to the lady of the house .

I n taking them to c hurch on S unday she sh ould

enter first and pre cede them u p the aisle st opping ,

at the door of th e seat and allo w in g them to enter

 ATTE N TI O N To S M AL L D E TAIL S . 13

fi rs t . A
good hostess shou ld al w ays stri v e t o
rec all any predilection whi ch she may have noti c ed
.

in any Of t he gu e s t s either at a previous visit or

'

whe n meeting them elsewhere and endeavour to ,

gratify it without drawing attention to the fa c t .

Thus if she has observed that one lady al w ays

,

drinks coffee she should take c are that it is always

,
’
provided as well as tea at five o clock ; or if she
knows that another always when at home takes ,
“

seltze r water wi t h claret at dinner she should

-
,

direct the butler never to omi t to offer it In .

'

s hort a hostess S hould never neglect the minutes t

,

detail that may contri bute to the comfort of her

guest .

It is indeed in the obs ervance of the s e littl e

, ,

things that a really good hostess differs from an

indi fferent or c areless one Much of our dail y .

co mfor t d e p en d s upon tri fles and we sometim es

'

fail to discover how dependent we have be c ome

.

upon small habits such as those referred to until

we happ en to be staying at a house where the -

hostess takes little care to note t he pref erences of

her guests S he Who does and who makes pro
.
,

vision for the gratifying of s rtch small predilection s ,

is sure to be popular as her antitype can scarcely,

fail to be the revers e .

 DU TIE S O F G U E S TS .

PU NCTUAL ITY : M UDDY T

B OO S M ORNI NG C ALLS TAKING U NI N
v rr EO G U ES TS To H O U S ES ; C O NFORM I NG To TII E R U L ES OF TU E
H OU S E C OU NTRY H OU S E V I S ITS FE ES To S ERV A NTS .

WH I L E a hostess has manifol d duties to perfo rm ,

some of which we have endeavoured to point out ,

there are also c ertain courtesies due from guests

toward s their enter tainers respectin g which a few
,
-

words may not be amiss One of the fi rst of these

.
,

and the one which is oftenest neglected is that of ,

punctuality There appears to prevail an idea that

.

it does not in the least signify how long after the -

hour named in an invitation the guests arrive ;

indeed some people seem to imag ine that they ren
,

der themselves of consequen c e by keeping others

waiting while in truth they only demo nstrate their
,

own rudeness and want of good breeding If a .

hostess invites her guests for a quarter to eight she ,

naturally does not mean half past ; and it is a duty

which the guests owe to her and to each other to
-

arrive at from ten to fi v e minutes to eight so that ,

dinner may be announced punctually at the hour .

It can not b e too often repeated that consideration

for the feeling s and the convenience of others is
 M O R N I N G V I S I TS . I5

th e true sense of good m anners and good breeding ; "

and it is ceIt a in l y not an evid ence of it t oke ep a

hostess on thorns of anxiety as to t he p robabl e ruin
of her carefully prepared dinner to say nothing of ,

the weary waiting inflict ed on better bred and -

more considerat e guests Tho ugh it is a better

.

fault to arrive slightly too soon it is one that should

,

b e avoided : it is unfai r to expe c t a hostess to b

r e ady to receive her guests before the hour at
whi c h she has requested the pleasure of their
company .

A not her item in whi c h want of consideration is

frequentl y S hown is in the neglect of due care on ,

the o cc asion of a morning visit in freeing the boots,

from m ud and dust on the mat in the hall before

ascending to the d r a w in g ro om It is a great
o
.

annoya n c e to a ho s tess who prides he r s e lf o n the

'

neatness of her rooms to s e e the marks of dirty

_ .

boots on h er carpet t he mark s frequentl y expand

"

ing into a confused mass of dirt where t he visitor

has been seated Gentlemen are generally greater
.

o ffe nders in this respect than ladies a s t hey m ore ,

frequ ently pay v isits on foot bu t attention to this

parti c ular is too often neglected by both sexes If .

a lady pays a visit in W e t weather she shou l d if ,

her u m br ell a be wet leave it i n the hall and it is

'

, ,

as well to leave her damp Waterproof there also -

“

so as to appear in the drawing room neat and u n -

encumbered . An ordinary morning visit should

last from ten minutes to a quarter of an hour ; it
is usua l however to ri s e a n d t ak e lea v e on the
, ,
16 D U TI E S OF G U E S TS .

e n tr an ce o ffresh vis itors unless they are mu tual

,

friends or unless they follow immed ia tely the ar

,

rival o f the first guest I n the la tter case it is not

.

now usual for the hostess to present the guests to

each other but they should all join in ge n eral con
,

versation though it must be remembered that Su c h

,

conversation does n o t constitute an a c quaintance

when meeti n g on a subsequent occasion The .

guest who leaves first should after sh aking hands ,

With the hostess bow to the other gue sts ; if a

'

gentleman is present he s hould relieve the hostess ‘

of the duty of opening and closin g the drawing

room door for the d eparting lady
-
.

I f a lady has a friend driving with her she Should

leave h er in the carriage w hen going in to pay a
visit unless the lady i s also acquainted with
,

the hostess The latter may have some reason

.

unknown to her fri en d for not wishing to know the

lady and when she ha s been introduced to her in
,

her own house it constitutes a sort of acquaint

ance I n the case of a girl it is different ; there is
.

no imp ropriety in taking her in for a morning c all ,

and these remarks apply rather to London than to

the country In the c Ou n t ry it is usual to take a
.

visitor in In the first place the c a r riage usua l ly

.

d rive s round to the stables so the lady c annot ,

rema i n In it ; and in the second the parties a re

unlikely to meet again before the fa ct of the visit
“

has been forgotten B ut taking a frien d i n to pay

.

a morning visit in London is though incorrect a , ,

venial Offence co mpared to the u n j u s t ifi able rudeness

 RECE P TION S AND C ON C E RTS
'

. 17

which some ladies comm it b y taking friends to a pa rty

without an invitation Nothi n g c an show a greater
.

want of knowledge of the proprietie s of life W hen . .

a lady gives a party she is very frequently from lac k

of space obliged to Omit some of her own acquaint
a n c e s and under these circumstance s it is natur a lly
,
.

exasperating to her when a friend walks in and says ,

O h Mrs A and her daughter were driving with

, . .

’
me and so I brought them I hope you don t
,
.

mind ”
. Politeness of course o bliges her to say
, ,

she is glad to see them ; but in her own mind sh e

naturally sets the lady down as being ill bred and -

presuming These remar ks d o not of course a pply

.

“ ”
to parties in the country where and party is ,

put on the card .

It iS e qu a lly rude for a lady to take a n y one

'

wi th her to an evening party w ho has not b ee n

in vited If she very much wishes to take a friend
.

she should write and ask permi s sion but she should ,

be s Ufii cie n t ly rea sonable n ot to be offended if the

l a d y r efu s e s on the pl ea that her numbers are full ;
it is o nly natural that a hostess should prefer w el
.

coming her Ow n friends to those of others a n d ,

rooms are unfortunately not elastic At a re c ep .

t ion the guests should exchange a few words with

‘

t he hostess and pass on into the room leavin g he r ,

free to welcome others At a concer t they are

-
.

bound even if indifferent t o musi c th e mselves to

, ,

hav ethe courtesy not to talk but to allow others

“

who are more appreciative t o enj oy themselves

'
.

It is ve ry a n n oyin g t o a hostess w hen a t great ,

3
18 DU TI ES OF GU E S TS .

expense she has provided professional music ians

,

for the amusement of he r guests to see those w ho ,

really wish to l isten prevented from doin g so by ,

the inconsiderate and noisy chatter of the rest .

G uests should also en d e a v oui to avoid crowding

up the doorways and try to allow others as mIIch
”

room to circulate as possibl e .

At a dinner party the guests are al ways sup

-

p os ed to t alk to each other irrespe c tive of any -

previous acquaintance and it is neither usual nor

,

ne c essary to introduce them S u c h conversation.

does not constitute an after ac quaintance unless

it is desired by both parties the lady of the highest
-

rank signifying her wishes and calling first unless ,

she Specially requests the other lady to call on her .

E ach lady S hould remember the order in whi ch

the ladie s came down to d inner and leave the ,

room in the same order There is not as some

.
,

people suppose ; any etiq uette as to the order in

which guests depart afte r dinner ; it is en tirely a
.

m atter of their own wish and convenience unless

'

in the case of royalty being present when it is ,

y p e fs o n a ge s to leave
c orrect t o wait for th e ro a l

fi rst.

When going to stay in a country house it is

c ourt e ous of guests to n ame the train by which

t hey propose arriving even if the ir friends do not

,

send to meet them ; an d they should avoid a ba d

habit which is sadly com mon of putting off their
, ,

arrival to the latest possi ble moment Th ey n ev e r .

consider that even if the train i s p u nctual (a de

,
 RUL ES OF TH E H O U S E. 19

c id e d ly u n usu al
circumstance) the s ervants imme
‘

diat el y before the dinner hour are especially busy -

,

so that the carrying up of the luggage impedes

-

the preparations for that meal ; while if it is late ,

they arrive when they should be fully dressed and ,

have to keep the whole party waiting while their

things are unpacked and put on Of course some .

times this is inevitable but m u c h more of ten it is

,

intentional and it the n becomes inconsiderate

, ,

and therefore rude S taying in the house people

.
,

naturally all co nverse with each other and mo s t ,

freque n t ly such meeting is the commencement of

an acquaintance .

A guest should b e very partic ular in conformi n g

to the rules of the house whi ch are rarely either ,

irksome or Stri n g ent I f s moking is obj ected to

.

in the bedrooms it is the height of bad t aste to

light a c igar ; and if as is sometimes the c a se
, ,

a hope is expressed that the guest will not read in

bed it is obligatory upon him n o t to do so If
, .

s Uch restrictions annoy guests they should r e

-

member that they n eed not have come if they had

n ot chosen and need never ac c ept anoth er invita
,

tion to the same house if its rules are irksome to

"

them I n many houses there is an u nderstanding

.

as to the m aximum a m ount to be staked by the

guests when playing any game and it S hould be ,
“
a point of honour never to exceed these points of
the house as they are termed The hours of the
,
.

house should be carefully observed : it is annoying

to a hostess to have t he s ervants kep t han ging
20 DU TI E S O F GU E S TS .

about wa i t i ng to take a w a y the breakfast thing s -

k ept on the table by late risers The cards before

.

referred to should be i n every room and thel e is ,

'

then no ex cuse for the guest s unpunctual ity . As ’

to being down to prayers it i s a m atter for the

guest s own decision ; but if not punctual to the
’

mom e nt it is better to abstai n altogether .

It is no longer considered ne c essary that the

gue s ts should sit together all the mo rning ; much
more freedom prevails in country house life than -

was formerly the c ase and people retire to write

,

letters or saunter in the gardens as they please ,

taki n g c are to be home in time for luncheon When .

asked what th ey would prefer doing it would be ,

a g reat comfor t to the hostess if her guests would

only answer d e fi n it e ly t ha t they wo u ld like to wal k

'

or to driv e as might be the case ; instead of which

they all profess their readiness to do what she likes ,

while she only wants to d o what they like A lady .

who s ays honestly that S he c annot walk and would ,

like to drive if there is room for her is a g od sen d , _

to a hos t ess distracted by guests who will not say

what they like The g reatest care should be taken
.

not to k eep t he c a rriage waiting The way in .

which people are seated in the carriage a dmits of

‘

n o rule as it depen ds on who c a n

, sit with their
ba c k to the horse s and who cannot ; as a rule ,

however the hostess if able to do so sits with her

, , ,

b a c k to them S he of c ourse gets in last the lady

.
,

of highest c onsideration in the party entering fi rst .

If on their return the g uests choose t o remain in

 FE E S To S ERV AN TS . ET

the d rawing room till the dre ssing hour they must
-
,

not expect th eir hostess to keep them c ompany as ,

a li ttle rest from the fatigue of entertainin g is

absolutel y necessary for her .

W hen th e hostess thinks it time to retire for t he

night she ask s th e lady of the highest rank if she
is willing to do so and it would be ill manners if
,

the l atter did not at once a ccede The ladie s .

generally have a little water or wine and water , ,

take their candles and retire the gentlemen r e ,

‘

maining a S hort time in t he drawing room b efore -

pro ce ed ing up s t a irs or to the s m ok ing room -

.

O n leaving guest s should be c areful to order their

,

fly in good time and to have their lug gage ready at

,

the proper hour O n taking leave of the hostess

.

it is usual to thank her for a very ple asant visit .

Leave should also be taken of the ot her g u e s t s .

'

I f the departing vi s itor has reason t o eX pe ct the

arrival of any letters the address to whi c h they
,

are to be sent should be left legi bly written it is '

unfair to expe c t a hostess to keep many addresses

in her memory In respect to the fees to be given
.

to serv ants a lady gi v es five shillings to the house

,

maid if the v iSit has been one of three or four days ,

t en if it has been of a we ek or more A g en t l e m a n

.

does th e same if v is itin g a lon e that is without a

—
,

wife and if he has n ot a servant of his own he

—
‘

gives the same sum to the servant who attends

upon him ; if he has his own valet this is u n n e ce s
sary If sent to the station it is usu a l to give
.
,

ha lf a cro w n to the coachman and if either a lady

- -
,
22 DU TI E S O F G U E S TS .

or gentleman ride s it is u sual to fee the g room ,

from five to ten shillings acc ording to th e nu mber

,

of times etc If a gentleman shoots he must fee

, . ,

the keeper ; t en s h illings is the smallest sum even

for one day s goo d shooting I n some houses a
’ ‘

d istin c t request is made that nothing should be

given to the servants and we need hardly say that
, ,

when this is the case it is in very b ad taste to dis

,

obey the inj un ction .

This is not the place to dis c uss the question of ‘

t h e p r op r ie t y of the fee syst em though there is

,

much to be said against it and little in its favour .

I t is su fficient for u s simply to state what is usually

done as custom is afte r all the acknowledged
, , ,

guide followe d i n matters of the kind an d an ,

omi ss i on to c omply with the usual cust om is at

tribu ted t o either eccentricity or ignorance Those .

who refuse to fee servants on princ ip le will find

that they are s eldom credited with the superior .

motive .
 DU TIE S O F A C HAPE RON .

FI RM NE SS I NTRO DU CTI ONS : PA RTNERS AT BAL Ls ; A WOMA NS '

FI R ST S OC I AL D U TY : Pi cNIcs W ATE R PARTI ES

-
EX C U RS I ONS
G I RL S W AL K I NG AL ONE ; R ES I DENT C HA PERONS TRA VELL I NG
ALONE ; D EMEANO UR .

A RE AL LY good chaperon is one who witho ut ,

making any vex a tious regulations or preventing ,

the legitimat e amusements of her charges is able ,

to ensure their doing nothing that is either outr é

or improper Young ladies when inclined to mur
.
,

mur at some obstacle to their wishes or some

restraints on their amuseme nts offered by their
chaperon shoul d remember that her experience is
,

naturally considerably greater than theirs and ,

that she probably has reasons for her obj ections

which cannot occur to them and which will not ,

always admit of explanation A ch a pero n should

.
‘

be firm and adhere to w hatever regulation s she

,

may make ; it is therefore j udicious to consider

them well before announ c ing them A mothe r is
. .

the natural chaperon of her d a ughters and unless ,

u nable from ill health or some equal ly imperative

-
,

cause to accom pany them to any social gathering

, ,

S h e is most unwi s e ever to s u ffer them to go any

where w i thout her ; indeed if the indis positi on

,
24. D U TI E S OF A C H AP E RO N .

be a temporary one it is far bett er that the girls

,

s hould stay at home th an go without their natural

prote c tor unless their father b e willing to a e com
,

pany th em No other chaperon takes the same

.

interest in the proceedings of the girls and a ,

mother cannot be sure that her daughters will

not form ac quai n tances which she migh t d isa p
prove .

A good c haperon takes especial care that her

c harges should know exactly where to find he r in

a ba l l room and requires th at they should return

-
,

to her side between the dan c es S he goes down .

to supper wh en they are dancing or else takes ,

care to settle by whom they may stand during her

short absence Though the girls may be in c lined
.

occasionally to fret at these restrictions and to ,

,

contrast the l aws laid down for their conduct with

the greater freedom from restra int accorded to
Some of t heir friends they may rest assured of the
,

fact that any man whose Opinion is worth having

will respect them infi nitely more than he does more
independent damsels A good chaperon also oh
.

j ect s to he r c harges having people indiscriminately

introduced to them ; s he c onsiders it a courtesy
d u e to her that a gentleman sho uld be first pre
sented to her to be afterwards introduced to the
,

young ladies or not by her a t her discretion If .

,

however a pa rtner S hould be pres ented to one of

,

her charges when ab sent from her s ide it is the ,

’
yo u ng lady s duty to introdu c e him to her chaperon
at t he e arliest op portunity Nothing is in wors e
.
 DI FFI C U LTI E S O F C H AP E RON AGE . 25

taste tha n the habit common among some fast

young ladies of treating th eir chaperon as a n irk
,

some encumbrance to who mno attention or defer

,

ence is due I t might p erhaps surprise them to

.

know that the inferen c e drawn by gentlemen from

their conduct is that the re straints of propriety are
irksome to them and that their name s are apt to
,

be lightly mentioned in consequ e n c e .

E ven if Obliged to allow her d aughters to go out

without her a mother should be very particular as
,

to the person to whom she entrusts them A .

dancing chaperon is practically of not the slightes t

u se and if the girls go out with a brother it should
,

b e on the distinct understanding that they should

have some l ady by whom to stand when he is danc
irig Otherwise they are left dependent on their part
,

n ers who may b e engaged to some one el s e for the

, ,

next dance A woman c annot learn too early that

.

her first social duty is n ever to be in the w ay .

Informal g atherings picnics and water parties ,

, ,
-

and visits in c ountry houses are times when the

,

r dle of a chaperon is the most pe rplexing S he .

does not wish t o spoil the girls pl easure and yet ’

,

a certain amount of supervision i s cert ain l y desir

able No reasonable chaperon will expect a girl
.

to remain always by her side ; but if she see her

setting forth wit h a companion either lady or gen,

t l e m a n of whom she does not a pprove she will

, ,

find some mean s of separating th em In a country .

house she will expect her girls to come to her room

b efore brea kfa st an d before d inner and go down .
26 DU TI E S OF A C H APE RO N .

with her , and she will also requ ire to b e consulted

as to the plan for the day S he may not wi s h a
.

c ertain ex c ursio n to be undertaken not quite a p ,

proving of the party who are to proceed to it and ,

she c ertainl y possesses the right of veto as to

wh et her her charge shall go or not A wise .

chaperon will n ever dra w the cord too tight or

unne c essarily prohibit anyth ing pleasant but she ,

should make it c learly understood that her wish ,

when once expressed is law , .

I n London es pecially in B e lgravia the custom

, ,

of young ladies walking alone has latterly be come

somewhat prevalent but it is one w hich no careful
,

eha pe ron will allow T w o girls not very young

.
, ,

may if there is no one able to go with them walk

, ,

a s hor t distance alone without mu c h obj ection ,

but for a young lady to be seen walking alone is

mo s t u n d esirable If she cannot walk with her
.

younger sisters and their governess or the maid ,

c annot be spared to walk with her she had better ,

stay at home or C o n fi n e herself to the square gar ,

d en
. Th e practi c e of young ladies going to S kate
at Pri nc e s without a respons ible c h a peron is one
’

whi c h no c are ful mother should allow and is one ,

of the c hief rea s ons why the name of that place of

resort has c ome to be synonymous with all t hat is
fast slang and o bj e ctionable The c ustom too of
, , .
, ,

you n g ladies ridi n g in Rotten R o w unattended save ,

by a g room is also open to obj e c tion ; and a wise

,

mother will insist on some ma rried friend riding

w ith h er daughters if they are unescorted b
y
fath er brother,or othe r relativ e
, .
 C H OI C E o p C HAP ERONS . 27

It can be readily understood that it is impos

sible to draw u p an y accurate code of regulation s
by which a chaperon should be gu i d ed as in every ,

ind ividual case there are d iff ering circumsta n ces ,

b ut the be st general rule is this : T h e m ore

c learly she sho w s that she regard s her charges as
preciou s and worthy of care the more valuab le
'

wil l they appear in the eyes of others ; and the

more free they are to do as they please an d to go
in an d out as they choose the less defe renc e an d
,

respect they wil l command S he need not b e

.

eit her c ro s s or vexati ous but she should show

,
'

clearly t ha t s he regards her cha rg es as he r pro

‘ '

perty and exp ects t n e right s of proprietorship t o

,

b e accorded to her When a motherless girl

.

comes out it is highly d esirable that for the first ,

year or two at least her father sh ould provide h er

,

with a r e sident chaperon as she cannot be ex, .

p ect e d to know the world su ffi ciently well to dispense

-

with one I f any relative d evoid of domestic ti es

.

is available and will assum e the position it is of

, ,

course preferable ; but should this b e un attainable ;

the service s of a paid chaperon should be secured ,

the gre atest care being exercised in the scru tiny of

h er references and a n tecedents I n either case it .

s houl d be d istin ctly understood that the daughter

is the head of the establishment takes the head of ,

the table and the sup ervision of the household ,

t he d uty of the chaperon being to assist her with

‘

a dvice and to suggest m atters which it is imp o s

,

s ible her inex peri enc e ca n be co gn is an t of The ,

.
28 Do r m s O F A C HAPE RON .

chaperon accompanies her to all parties to whi ch

her father does not care to take h er assists her in ,

recei ving company a t home walks an d d rive s out

,

with her and is in short her constant com

, , ,

panion .

I t is not generally desirable th at young ladies

should visit even in th e country alone ; but as ,

they are often allowed to d o so a few hints as to ,

their conduct may be usefu l to them I f a young .

lady is alone her maid should travel in the rail

,

way carriage With her ; if she has no m aid she

-

s hould endeavour to travel with some one s h e knows ;

or if she fi nds no o n e she should ask the guard

to put her in a carriage with other ladies who a re
going as far as she is S he should carefully avoid
.

entering into c onversation with any strange gentle

man If she kno w s a n y o f the guests suffi ciently
.
,

in the house where she stays s he may ask one of ,

them to allow her to go down stairs with her or ,

she can ask one of the youn g la d ies t o c ome to her

room and a c company her If neither of these .

means is available and she has to go down alone

, ,

she should wait till she is sure that some of the

guests have assembled and so avoid the awkward
,

n ess of b eing alon e in the d rawing room when -

strangers enter S he sh ould be even m ore careful

.

and circumspe ct in he r behaviour than when a c

c ompanied by a chaperon should keep with the,

other young ladies of the party and take care in ,

n o way to ren d er herself c onspi c uou s The mis .

tress oi the ho use is her n o minal chaperon a n d ,

 A G I RL S Do r y To
’
mart C HAPE RO N . 29

she should apply to her in any real di ffi c ulty bu t ,

not trouble her with frivo l ous questions or per -

pl e x it ie s At a ball the lady with whom sh e is

.
,

staying is the person by whom she ought to stand ;

if however the ball is in the house itself t he
, , ,

hostess w ill be too m uch occupie d in receiving he r

guests to be available but one of the ladies stay
,

ing in the house will naturally permit her to stand

-

by her A young lady staying out alone c annot be

.

too parti c ular in always keeping with some of the

other ladies ; for instance how pleasant soever is
,

the conversation in which she ma y be engaged she ,

should not rema i n behind in the drawing r oom if “

-

the other ladies go up to rest before d inner This .

instan c e will serve to explain what she had better '

do on m any other occasions S he may fe e l qu it e

.

sure that however mu c h gentlemen may be

,

amused by fa s t a n d ind e pe n d e n t young ladies ,

and a ppear to admi re them for the moment they ,

really pr efer girl s who are gentle ladylike and , ,

modest and whose demeanour shows that they

,

possess that somewhat rare q u ality in these fas t

days self re spect
— -
.
THE E TIQ U E TT E o r I NV I TAT IO NS AND
D I NNE R PARTI E S - .

I NV ITATI ONS C ARDS ; RE PL I E S Rn ca p r ron s ; BALL S DANCES

G u n sr C A R DS AR RA NGE M E NT o r PL A C ES ; DI NNERS A L A Russ a ;
‘

M E NU C A RDS O RDE R o r M E ATS o r W I NE S W A I TI NG Ar TABLE ;

'

TE A .

So mu c h misappreh ension seems to exist on the

subj ect of entertainments and their proper arrange
“

ments dinner parties and the proper rules of

,
-
,

pre c edence to be observed among the guests the ,

c orre c t wordi n g of i n vitations and replies and ,

m any other su c h matters that we have deemed it ,

w ise to devote a chapter to the subject and to ,

enter into detail resp ecting small matters of

etiquette whi c h when treate d separa tely appear
, , ,

almost trivial bu t a correct acquai n t a n ce with

,

whi c h is yet most desirable To begin with the .

first part of every entertain ment the invitations — .

If the d inner is to be a small one notes are ,

“
most usual an d the ordinary form is
, D ear ,

Mrs A . W ill you and Mr A and your daughter

.
,
-
. .

giv e us the pleasure of your c ompany at dinner

on Tuesday the 9 t h inst at a quarter b efore
, .
,

eight ? I f however t he party be a large one

”
, , ,

a n d formal invitations are preferred a note m a

y ,

be written as follows : Mr and Mrs B . . .

request the pleasure if preferr e d “ honour ”

-

,
 I NVITATI ONS .
31
“
may be of Mr and M r s A and
s u b s t it u t e cl —
. . .

M iss A s company a t dinner on Tu esd a y th e 9t h

.
’
,
”
inst at a qu a rter to eight
.
, For these formal .

invitations ca rds are m ore freque n t ly use d and ,

th e n only the names and date have to be written .

In replying to these invitations it is u sua l to

. .

adopt the same form as the invitation that is to say ,

a friendly note is used in reply to one Of the same

desc riptio n and a formal one in answer to a card
,

or formal n ote One mistake in answering invita

.

ti o ns is so c om mon a s to demand a word Of

“
comment People are very apt to write
. Mr , .

”
and Mrs A w ill ha ve the pleasure of accepting
. . .

Now a fe w moment s refle c tion will demonstrate ’

the ab surdity Of this The act Of writing the note .

,

constitutes accep ting and as that is a pr esen t ,

a ction it is absurd besides bein g pra ctically

, ,

u n gram mati c al to use w ill th e sign of the fu ture ,

tense The ans w er may r un “ Mr and Mrs

. . .

A and M iss A have much pleasure in or “ h ave

. .
, ,

the honour Of a c cepting Mr a n d M rs B s kind

-

, . . .
’

“
Invitation for or if preferred : M r and Mrs , . .

A w ill have the ple a s ure or

-
. honour O f di n ing ,

with Mr and Mrs B on Tuesday the 9t h ins t

. . .
,

I n vitations to larger par t ies su c h as at ,

”
homes concerts balls private theatricals etc
, , , ,
.
,

are always issu ed by c ards All these cards are .

very similar The name of the hostess is alone

.

u sed (that Of the host only a p p earing in invitatio n s

“
to dinner) and u nderneath it is printed
, At
”
home . Ve O fte n the date is printed bel o w
32 I NV I TATI ONS AND DI NNE R PARTI E S .

thi s whi ch is con v e n ien t a n d saves much writing

, ,
.

but quite as Often it is written The names Of t he .

guests invit ed are written on the card above the ,

name of the hostess The address is printed at .

the lower left hand c orner and at the r ight hand

-
,
-

corner is either printed or w ritten t he nature of

”
the entertainment If m erely an at h ome .

that is a reception it is unne c essary to put any

,
—

th ing though occasionally th e hour is named at

,

whi ch the hostess will be prepared to receive her

guests and it is of c ourse improper to arrive
, , ,

before that time I f the invita tion is to a concert

.
,

music is printed in the corne r with the hour at ,

w hich the concert w ill commen c e belo w Usu ally —

”
If a ball da nc ing is in the corner ;
,

and if private theatri c als , that fact and the hour ,

of commence m “
ent are intimated with An answer , ,

is requested ”
below It is not necessary to
, .

answer cards whi ch do n ot bear either this request

or the le tters (Repon d ez s il n ous f lail)
’ ’
,

unless quite certain that it would not be possible

to attend the party w he n it is courteou s to intimate
,

the fact at O n c e ; and the note should run Mr

‘

, .

and Mrs F and the Misses F regret that they

. . .

a r e unavoidably prevented having the pleasure

Of availing themselves Of Lady G s k ind invit ation

’
.

for Tuesday Nov 1 6 th , I f R S V P or An

.
“
. . . . .
, ,
”
r
answe is requeste d is on the card an answer , ,

should be sent as soon as it is known whether

it will be possible to a t te n d o r not : Have much s

p e asu re in acc epti n g or Will have the ho n our

l ”
,
 ETI Q U E TTE OF INTRODU C TIONS .
33
,

Of
’
availing themselves Of Lady G s kind invita .

”
tion are correct form s
, .

Ca r d s should a l w ays be left the ensuing day ;

and this also applies to a dinner unless on terms
,

Of great intimacy with the hostess when a visit , ,

,

paid two or three days aft erwards is more usual ,

than t he formal card An idea is somewhat

.

largely entertained that it is discourteous to send

invitations by post but this is a mistaken noti on
,

it is quite as correct and as usual as to send them

by hand and in fi nitely more convenient ; though
,

in the case of dinner invitations it is very frequent

t o send them by a s ervant who waits for t he
,

answer Invitations to dinner should al w ays b e

.

answered a t on ce ; it is extremely rude to delay

longer than is absolutely necessary .

A dinner party should c onsist Of an equal

number Of gentlemen and ladies those being in ,

v it e d together who it is th ought will like to meet ,

or who are suppose d to be somewhat s im il a r in

'

tastes If there are no young people belonging

.

to the house it is very common not to Invite the

,

daughters Of the married couples ; but if any

young lady is invited care sh ould be taken that a
,

suitable escort is provided for her It is no longer .

considered necessary to introdu c e all the members

’
Of the party to each other in a friend s house all
talk to each other without introduction and with ,

out its forming any subsequent acquaintance u n ,

less such is desired by both parties It is as we ll .

,

however to introduce th e two fi rst comers as it

, ,
 I NV I TATI O NS AND DI NNE R PARTI E S
-

34
.

avoids the preliminary stiffness The due pre .

c e d en c e Of the party has of course been duly , ,

s tudied by the hostess before her guests arrive ,

and she has also arran ged whi c h gentleman should

tak e ea ch l ady It is the duty Of the host to in
.

t ro d u c e the gentlemen to the ladies whom they

are to es c ort but very fre quently the hostess per
,

forms this duty for h im We m a y rem ark that if .

there is any diffi c ulty su c h as will someti mes ,

a rise Of arrangi n g th e pre c eden c e Of ladies and

,

gen t l e men w i t hout Obliging a husban d and wife to

go down together it is always the lady s precedenc e
,
’

that is respected and the ge n tleman s that gives

,
’

way When the dinner is announced the host

.

O ffers his r i ht arm to the lady Of highest ran k

g ,

and on reaching the dining room places her on his -

r ig ht hand side
-
We emphasise this as it is a
.
,

matter in which a mistake is very frequently made .

A gentleman should always Offer his r ight a rm to

a lady and place her on his r ight hand as if about ,

to dance a quadrille with her In s ome houses .

the baluste rs necessitate a c hange as the lady ,

should al w ays be next the wall but on reachin g ,

the di n ing room she m ust be placed at table on

-
, ,

h er part n er s right
'
’
The gent l eman of secon d
.

highes t ra nk follow s the host with the lady Of sec on d

hig hes t rank (unless as we said before they happen

, ,

to be h u s band and wife or brother and sister in , ,

whi ch c ase the g entleman thir d in ran k is sub

stitute d ) and pla c es her on the left hand of the
,

ho st .
 PL AC I NG OF G U E S TS .
35

Nam e or guest cards bearing the nam e of each

-

guest and placed on his or her plate are very fre

, ,

quently used ; but they have never been adopted in

the highest circles where they are regarded as a
,

rather vulgar and decidedly clumsy invention

v ulgar as suggestive O f a public din n er rather than
,

a private entertainment clumsy because as th e , ,

guests do not know where to look for their names ,

it necessitates an unnecessary amount Of walking

round the table The best mode is for the hostess
.

to make a plan of the table arranging where her ,

guests will be most pleasant ly placed and for the ,

host to direct each c ouple as they enter t lI ,

dining room where to sit If he dislikes the troub l e

-
, .
,

a good method is to give a copy Of the plan to t h e

butler and desire him to indicate the proper s eats
, .

B y th is means the awkwardness Of husbands seat

ing t hemselves nex t to W ives brothers to S isters , ,

and fathers to daughters and the inevitable ,

moving and changing to recti fy such mistakes ,

will be avoided and no detail should be considered
,
‘

t oo minute no trouble too great t hat c an by any

,
‘

means add to the comfort or pleasure Of an invited

guest The hostess enters the dining room last
.
-

(having marshalled her guests from the draw ing

room in proper prec eden c e ) on the arm Of the
g entleman of highest rank and takes her s eat at ,
.

the hea d Of the table .

Now that d in ers d la R n sse are universal m en u ,

cards are a bsolutely in dispensable and there ,

should not be fe wer than one to every couple as ,

36 I NV I TATI ONS AND DI NNE R PAR TI E S -
.

it is tiresome to have to ask for one to be passed ,

and yet almost every one likes to see of what

dishes the dinner is to c onsist D inners are by .

no me ans so long or S O heavy as w a s formerly the

c ase . Tw o soups handed round together two
, ,

kinds of fi s h also b a n d e d together whitebait when

, , ,

in sea s on two en tr ées handed in succession boiled

, ,

fowl and roast lamb or mutton handed together ,

quai l s and du c klings (or any other two second

c ourse dishes) b a n d e d together a hot and a cold ,

sweet dish in suc c ession and some preparation Of ,

c heese su c h as écl a irs m meqn in s or cheese straws

, , ,
-
,

is an ample n zen n foi any dinner party no matter -

,

Of how many members it may consist In large .

parties two dishes Of each en tr ée and Of each sweet

are prepared so that the two sides Of the table
,

are served simultaneously by two wai ters .

The wa iting is Of great c onsequence to the

suc c ess of a dinner party With a ccomplished .

servants and waiters one man to every four guests

,

i s su ffi c ient ; but if they are inexperienced the pro

portion must be increased Ice unles s in the .
,

form of an ic e pud d i n g belongs to the dessert and

-
, ,

ice plates are pla c ed up on the dessert plates before

- -

ea c h guest : these are removed when the ice has

been partaken Of After ice liqueurs genera lly of
.
,
—

two kinds as c ognacs cherry brandy maras chino

, , , ,

C hartreuse or n oy e a u are handed round The

—
, .

servants then hand round the dessert biscuits etc , ,

.
,

and the butler supplies each guest with wine and ,

then places the de c anters in order before his

 TEA AND CO FFE E .
37

master The servants then leave the roo m and

.

prepare the drawing room light the ca n dles etc

-
, , .

Whe n the hostess considers that a suitable

time has elapsed she bows to the lady Of high est
,

rank and the ladies leave th e dining room in the

,
-

same order of precedence in which they entered it .

After about a quarter of an hour coffee is brought

to them in the drawin g room and after a lon ger
-
,

interval it is taken to t he gentlemen in the dining

roo m When the g entlemen j oin the ladies tea
.

is handed rou nd If on the tray are Observed

.

a n y cups with the teaspoons placed in them it ,

signi fies that those cups contain pure g reen tea .

This is almost out Of date but is an Ol d fashioned

,
-

c ustom which still prevails in some houses I f .

the h ost ess is aware that a n y of the guests are

m usical she may ask them to play or sing but
, ,

this is by no means d e r ig ueur We mention this .

because some ladies are so foolish as to be affronted

if they are n ot aske d to pe rform a nd there may be ,

m an y reasons why t he host es s may not wish for

music a b ad headache a de l icate child sure to
—
,

be awakened by the sound Of the piano etc I f , .

,

however music is asked for the request should be

, ,

complied with a t once if at all : nothing is in

w orse taste than the a ffected mode sty which
refuses and refuses and would be t erribly mOrtifi ed
,

were the r efusal quietly acce pt ed .

 TAB L E D E C O RATI O N .

WH A T To A ARRANGE M E NT OF FL O WERS ; WE I GHT o r

VO I D ;
V AS ES : C OST O F FL OWE RS ; W I L D FLOWERS AND GRASSEs ; L EAF
DEC ORATI ON S TRO NG SC ENTED FL OWERS.

AND
M ENU S T .

TH E RE are fe w O f the arts which render a house

pretty which h ave made such surprising strides in
'

the last fe w years as that of table decoration As .

regards dinner tables the reason is not far to s eek

-
.

Formerly when the Ol d fashion ed habit of removing

,
-

the tablecloth previous to d esser t prevailed the ,

O bj e c t was to have as fe w things as possi bl e on

t he table beyond the n e c e ssary dishes and so to

,
 H E AVI L Y L OADE D TAB L E S .
39

obviate the nec e ssity of the servants stret c hing ov e r

the guests to remove and replace the decorations .

B esides i n those days before d in er s d l o Rn sse

, ,
-

were t he r u l e the various dishes occupi ed a very

'

, ,

considerable amount Of spa c e E ve n when the .

custom of not removing the cloth and Of handing

the dishes without first pla c ing them upon the
-

tabl e became uni v ersal it was some time before ,

the art Of decoration wa s at all understood : the

eye had become accusto med to a heavily loaded
table and large dessert dishes filled and piled to
,
-
,

overflowing took the place of the silver en tr ee and

,
“ ”
flank dishes while a h u ge éperg n e fi ll e d with
, , ,

flowers inartistically arranged an d silver wine ,

coolers each containing a flow e r pot occupied the

,
-
,

centre Of t he table an d effectually conc ealed o p

,

pos it e nei ghbours from each other Gradually .

,

however more graceful ideas began to prevail : it

,

struck some one that it was u nne c essary to ere c t

a rampart down the middle of the t able and those ,

who saw the innovation of l ow vases and lighter

ornaments fi rst wondered and then commenced
that truest of all fl a t t ery imitation D uring —
.

late seasons the decoration Of dinner tables i n -

-

Lon don reached a pit c h whi c h i t m ost c ertainly

n ever did before some Of the tables presenting t h e
.

appearance of positive gardens It is perhap s .

hypercriti c al when speaking Of S O elegant a de c o

ration as fl ow e rs still it appeared to us that in
,

m any instan c e s this ornam entation was consider

ably overdone It is hardly in good taste to
.
40 TAB L E DE CO R ATI O N .

decorate a dinner table in a manner whi c h conveys

-

to the minds Of all the guests that a great e ffort

has been made S u c h de c oration is in place at a
.

state banquet a ball supper or some festivity not

, ,

of constant occurrence but is scarcely suitable to

,

R U S TI C BAS K E T IN GL ASS .

a friendly gathering su c h as an ordina ry dinner

party For this reason l o w baskets vases etc
.
, , .
,

filled with choice flowers have a better e ffect than

,

the elaborate arrangements Of small tin troughs

fo rmi n g patterns on the table which were intro
 AR RANG E M E NT O F FL OWE RS .
41

d u ce d s om e
years ba ck an d were so largely patron
‘

ised O ur illustration shows a very pretty rustic

.

basket in glass copied from one Of the designs Of

,

Mr O sler Oxford S treet

.
, .

It is much to be wished that ladies would acquire

the habit of arranging their flo w ers themselves
gardeners arrange the m well but generally err by ,

making a l l their bouquets too stiff while servants ,

have a perfect mania for fi lling every vase twice too

full and also for carefully eliminating every particle
,

Of green A moment s consideration will S how that

’
.

this is a cardin al mistake : flo w ers require relief ,

and sho w to infinitely better advantage when sur

rounded by ample greenery than wh en pressed
closely against each other As an ex em pl ifi ca t ion .
,

how m uch more truly beautiful is an ordinary

well grown azalea with its delicate blossoms show
-
,

ing against the natural ba c kground Of leaves than ,

one O f the marvellous specimens of horticultural

art exhibited at fl ow er shows c onsisting Of a pyra
,
-
,

mid O f flowers without a visible leaf On a dinner

table where besides the blaze Of light there are
, , ,

the expanse Of glossy white cloth and the glitter

Of silver to fatigue the eye the repose Of green ,

leaves is more than ever needed I n London too .

, ,

flowers are a c ostly luxury and it is wise to refle c t ,

that hal f the qu antity j udi c iousl y mingled with

green will look in fi nitely better than if the whole
were a mass of costly bl ooms The fa shion is .

rapidly gaining ground Of having not even dessert

dishes on the table and the mode has such a sub
,
42 TAB L E D E C O RATI ON .

stratum Of good sense that it will in all probability

become universal Fruit was certainly a great .

ornament on the table but its presence in the ,

dining room had two distin c t disadvantages first

-
,

the heat of the roo m inseparable from the lights ,

the number Of guests and O dour Of the hot viands , ,

seriously impaired the freshness of all fruits an d

totally ruined the delicate flavour Of those with
thin skins such as th e strawb erry ; and secondl y
, ,
, ,

the O dour of the fruit drawn out by the heat of the ,

room mingled far from satisfactorily with that Of

,

fi sh soup an d en tr ees The fruit should be ar

, , .

ranged in another room handed round when re ,

quired and placed on the table when the ladies

,

leave the room Of course fruit being the only

.
, ,

orna mental portion of the des s ert its exclusion ,

involves a loss as cakes biscuits and dried fruits

, , ,

are scarcely beautiful from an artistic point of

view The beautiful and artistic design S hown on
.

our next page answers admi rably for the arrange

ment O f either fr uit or flowers It is copied from .

one Of the ne w es t table ornaments Of Messrs .

Mappin and Webb Oxford S treet , .

The absence of dessert therefore renders the , ,

adornment of the table an O bj ect Of considerably

more importance Tastes vary so much that it is
.

qui te impossible to give any absolute rules and it is ,

well it is so as the variety produ c ed by differing ar

,

t is tic views is extremely pleasing nothing being more ,

wearisome than monotony of de c oration S till as .

,

a g eneral principle capable of innumerable modifi,

 VAS E S FOR FL OWE R S .
f

43

cat ions if the flowers are pl aced in vases the centre

,

one should be higher than the others There are .

such innumerable graceful shapes now both in

I

glass and chin a that there c a n be no diffi c ulty in

,

suiting every taste ; a very pretty one in glass

c onsists of a central vase springing from three “

lower and smaller ones the vase being c omposed

,

Of a shallow saucer This is a pretty form a n d

.

’
-
A
FLO WE R S T ND FOR DI NNE R T B LE -
A .

easy to arr a nge The three vases surrounding the

.

centre should be S imilar in arrangement t hough

without absolute formality round the c entre vase
should b e an overlapping fringe Of green ; maiden
hair fern is the lightest and prettiest if attainable ;
indeed the more lavishly it is used the more
,

graceful will be the bouquets The shallo w sau c er

.

at the bottom may b e fi lled as taste di ctates care ,

being t ak en to interp olate su fficie n t green .

41 TAB L E DE C ORATI O N .

Many people are deterred from decorating their

tables by the belief that very expensive flowers are
.

requisite whi c h is a grievous mistake the truth

, ,

being that with a little taste and thought and

,

plenty Of green there is hardly a flower no matter

, ,

how c ommon whi c h c annot be utilised S ufficient

,
.

use i s h ardly made of the pretty greenhouse l yco

podium whi c h can be gro w n in S hallow saucers
, ,

c onv enient for pla c ing in glass or china baskets

,

and whi c h looks beautifu l with a very few flowers

p e ering from its green fronds Where economy .

Of flowers is an Obj e c t damp moss or silver sand ,

is a better medium to place them in than water ,

as they will not need mutual support and need ,

not therefore be so closely crushed together If

, , .

sand be used in glass vases it will be found adv is ,

able to line the glass with green such as stray

'

leaves scraps cut off fern fronds etc as sa n d is

, , .
,

n o t pretty to look at Indeed this is by no mean s .

,

a bad method even when the glasses are filled with

water as it obviates the unsightly appe aran ce Of
,

the stalks and also if certain plants are used Of

, , ,

dis c oloured water S and is impe rative for the.

small tin troughs forming patterns on the table as ,

they are light and l iable to be easily overturned ;

besi d es sand enables every tiny s crap Of flower to
,

be used as there is no fear Of even a S ingle blosso m

,

sinking in and being lost Though these troughs .

have too formal a nd studied an appearanc e if

lavishly use d they c a n be used in small numbers
,

with excellent e ffect and produ c e an imposing ,

 I
S M PL E TAB L E BO U Q U E TS .
45

appearance with marvellously few flowers S ingle .

flowers of the pelargonium with an e d ging of either ,

leaves fern or ly c opodium tell wonderfully and a

, , ,

few heads go a long way If the petals are inclined

.

to fall a little thick gu m should be dropped into

,

each flower I n S pring prim roses inserted as single

.
,

stars on velvety moss look extremely well in these

troughs which are s old in shapes that lend them
,

selves to a l l sorts of combinations so that the ,

table need not present the same aspect for t w o days

together Primroses in moss with a few small
.
,

ivy leaves pla c ed as if springing up through the

-

moss make a c harming group for a centre vase

, .

If it is not furnished with a sau c er at the bottom

it can b e placed in a large flat c irc ular dish the ,

e d ges Of w hi c h can be hidden with fern or by suf ,

fer in g the moss to overlap an d then confi ning it ,

round the bottom with green thread .

In the autumn in the country those who do not

, ,

possess well furnished gardens may if they will

-
,

use their eyes attentively c onstruct lovely bouquets

,

from the fi elds and hedges B ulrushes the leave s .

,

O f the water arrowhead the purple spikes of the ,

loosestrife the exquisite wreaths Of the briony

,
“

either with or without it s clusters of coral berries ,

the flu ffy down of the wild clematis and the brown ,

and crimson leaves O f the bramble al l lend the m ,

selves in an especial manner to de c oration Water .

lilies form a lovely ornament for flat dishes either ,

alone or as a base for vases It should be borne in .

m ind that no m atter what other gree n ery is used

, ,
46 TAB LE DE C O RATI O N .

a flowe rsh ould always when pra c ti c able ,be aeco m

,

p a n ie d by a leaf O f it s o w n spe c ies : attention to

su c h small details c onstitutes one of the gre at arts
Of fl Ora l arrangeme nt It should a ls o be reme m
.

bered that spiked flowers such as larkspur Jun e , ,

l il ies Yuccas Canterbury bells e t c are best suited

-
, , , .
,

for tall vases ; while fl a t flowers such as roses an d , ,

S preadi n umbelliferous ones such as pelargoniums

g , ,

are s e e n t o the best advantage In flat dishes A .

gr e at Obj e c t is to avoid any appearan c e Of stiffness

w ithout rendering the arrangement eccentric orone
sided ; but a fairly correct eye and a little practice
are a ll t ha t are n ec es s a ry When some really good
'
'

flowers c a n be afforded a pretty finish to a dinner

, .

table is to place one Of the S O called “ spe cimen -

glasses whi ch are now constructed in every

,

variety of elegant form either before each guest ,

or between every two but they had bett er not be

used u nless some re ally good flo w ers can be place d
in them A rosebud with a leaf and spray of
.
,

maide n hair is appropriate and it has a pleasi n g

, ,

effe c t if they are place d alternat ely ; for i n stance ,

a white bud and a pink one or a dam as k an d ,

a yello w e tc S p iraea is nearly as useful as is

, .

m aiden hair to the flower arranger ; its feathery -

whi te flowers break up harsh lines and give grace

to othe rwise commo n pla c e arrangemen ts .

A d i fferent m ethod Of decoration c onsist s in

for m ing a pattern on the tablecloth with ri chly
c oloured and variegated leaves such as coleus ,
,

et c but t his thoug h perhaps pleasin g as an oc

,
 S TRO NG - S C E NTE D FL O WE RS .
47

c a s ion a lchange has the do uble disadv antage Of ,

staining the table c loth an d Of bei n g liable to dis

t u rba n ce by the slighte st gust Of wi n d such as ,

might be caused by the sudden Opening of a d o or z

We may remark that it is advisable that a hostess
should m ake herself acquainted with the name s O f
the flowers used in the decoration of her table ,

and that she may not be obliged to confess ig n or

an c e should inform ation be deman d ed of her
, .

There is on e t hin g that S hould always be re

'

m e mbered by those who are arrangin g flowe rs for

livi n g rooms but m ore especially for a dinner
- —

table w hi c h is never to m ake use Of s tron g scented

—
,
-

flowers Those who are not themselves rendered

.

u ncomfortable by strong s c ents ar e apt to forget

that other s do not s hare their happy immunity ,

and employ stephanotis gardenia or tuberose , , ,

W ithout realising the s uffering whi c h they in

fl ict . O ne O f the loveliest dinne r t bles ever seen -
.

was composed Of a large bed of lycopodium ar ,

ra n ged with stephanotis and lily Of the valley bu t - - -

several O f the party grew momentarily whiter

and whiter were unable to eat a morsel and
, , ,

i n short pass e d an eve n ing Of u nde n iable suf

,

fe r in g which no host or hostess w ou ld willingly

,

inflict on their guests It is s imply a m atter of .

tho u ghtlessness an d as such n eeds but to be ,

pointed out to be corre c ted S ome of the most .

beautiful kinds Of azalea are scentless but neither ,

the yellow nor the white should be plac ed upon a

,

dinner t a ble and hy acinths lilacs j une lilies ,

-
, , ,
 TAB L E DE C OR ATI ON
48
.

hawthorn and heliotrope in a ny but infi nitesimal

,
,

quantities should be c arefully avoided as also

,
,

should nar c issus and j onquils O ne flower of the .

magnoli a is overpowering in a room and should ,

never b e allowed to penetrate farther than the hall

Of a c ountry house where its
, rich fr a g ra n ce is

truly deli c ious It is a pity that S O many beautiful

.

flowers must for their very perfection be tabooed ;

, ,

st ill no de c oration is worth the risk Of maki n g eve n

one guest uncomfortable and there are such a ,

variety of beautifu l blossoms left that they can

AS PA RAG U S -
D I S II.

well be spared Happily the rose the queen of

.
,

flowers never affe cts one unpleasantly

, .

In c idental table decoration m a y be a c complished

in a degree by adopting some of t he innumerable
gra c eful and pretty devi c es constantly appearing ;
su c h as the asparagus dish which we copy from
-
,

one of Messrs M ort l o ck s de s igns and selecting

.
’

from the many varieties of menu s tand only those -

that are as fan ciful and pretty as our illustration

on another page Of the little dan c i n g girl also
,
- —

from a design of Messrs M or tl o ck s .

’
.
 AFT E R NO O N TE A .

AT H OM E DAY S AFTER NOON WH I ST PA RTI ES AT H O M E S M U S I C

AFTE R NOO N DA NC E S G A RDEN PA RTI ES ; TO I L E TTES ; NTRO I
DU C TIO NS .

TH E custom now so prevalent

,
having afternoon , Of

teas is one of c omparatively recent date It origin .

ated in the dissatisfa c tio n felt by many on return

ing home at finding that the very persons they mo st
Wished to see had called in their absence and this ,

disappointment gave rise to the habit which is

known as taking a da y
“
This s ignifies that
a lady makes up her m ind to be at home on a
certain day of the week and notifies the s ame to
,

her friends e i ther by word of mouth or else by

, ,

writing on the cards she leaves At home on

.
,

T u esdays 4 to , S om etimes th is is m odifi ed by

Tuesdays in J une restricting the day taken to
,

one month Th is plan was as we have said the

.
,
~
,

origin Of the c ustom but it has its inconveniences

, .

People who are not acquainted with each other

a r e l ikely to call at the same tim e and though they ,

may j oin in general conversation it is necessarily

“

Of a formal chara cter and individual gu ests have

,

little chance of really talking to their hostess who

.

5
 50 AFTE RNOO N TE A .

is exerti n g hefs e lf for the general entert ainment .

Another drawba c k is that when a lady announces

,

herself as being at home on a certain d ay every

week it is n Ot c ourteous to ca l l
,
upon her on a n y
other (though Of course those
,
, who only intend
to lea ve ca r ds can do so) as it seems to
,
denote n o
 WHI S T PARTI E S .
51

wish to see her and the day selected m ay often be

,

inconv e nient .

The smallest and most familiar form of after

“

noon t e a is perhaps the pleasantest it is when a

, ,

l a d v invites a few friends all known to each other ,

or one or two Of whom specially desire to make

each other s ac quaintance S uch invitations a r

’
.
e
.

issued verbally or by note and the preparations ,

involve nothing more than a few extra teacups and

a little more bread and butter Then a gain there - -
.
, ,

is the somewhat larger gathering when from

,
,

thirty to fifty people are asked ; and it is then

j udicious unl ess there are several daughters Of
,

the house to take charge of the tea table to plac e -

,

it in the back dr awing room under the supervision -

of the lady s maid as it is quite impossible for the

’
-
,

hostess to dispense the tea and also attend to t he

en t ertainment Of her guests Wh en the enter .

t a in m en t is Of this description there should be ,

e bffe e
,
cake and biscuits b esi des the tea and
, ,

bread and butter ; and in the summer it is a d v is

able to add ices and claret cup besides s tra w ber -
,

ries and cream .

Another form of afternoon entertainment com

.

mon only in t he winter time is the afternoon ,

whist party A certain day in the week is se

.

l ect e d certain friends agree to meet for the pur

,

po s e Of the game and the hostess is ,

not at .

”
home to a n y one not included in the ooteeie .

The reason Of this is Obvious as general convers ,

a t ion is apt to di sturb the play ers Tea coffee .

, ,
52 AFTE R NO O N TE A .

sherry and c laret cup a re t h e refreshments usually

,
-

p r ovided at these parties whi c h are b ecoming ,

yearly more fashionable and whi ch last from five ,

O c lo c k to seven or even later The larger gather

’ '

.
,

ings whi c h are rather afte rnoon re c eptions than

,

teas are more frequent in summer than in the

,

winter season p artly ; we im a gine from the in

, ,

convenien c e Of winter garments in crowded roo ms .

The summer toilette is more suited to a room

c rowded to ex c ess than a velvet dress and seal

S kin ; and besides many ladies fear to be out ,

after sunset during the winter months .

D uri ng M ay J une and J uly afternoon parties

, , ,

are the rage The invitations are c onv eyed by

.

cards S imilar to those used for evening recepti ons :

”
Mrs A at home with the names Of the in vites
. .
,
“
written at the top Of the card and Tuesday ,
“
May 2 1 4 to 7 written below At home
, , .

It is unnecessary to answer one Of these cards

unless it is certain that the invitation cannot be
a c cept ed when it is courteous to intimate the
,

fact Gentlemen as a rule do not appreciate

.
,
.

these afternoon festivities still they should

al ways be asked the omission exhibiting a total
,

absence of sa v oir fl zir e It has occurred to us-

.

on one or two o cc asions to see some device

stamped on the c ard as for instance a gold , , ,

t e a t ra y with a teapot and tea c up upon it ; but

,

s u c h orn amentation is not in good taste the plain

,

c ard being more c orrect in fa ct cards always

'

—
,

Should be plain havin g neither cre sts nor m on o

,
 AFTE RNOON PARTI E S .
53

grams upon them Although the hour name d Is

.

from 4 to 7 it is very seldom that any one a p

,

pears before half past four and the fullest tim e

-

is from five to six when drawing rooms stairc ase

,
-
, ,

an d dining r o om are generally crowde d to excess

-
.

The refreshments are much the sam e a s those

for an evening reception and arranged in th e ,

same manner on a b u ffet at the end Of the dining

room Tea c offee both ho t and iced and i c es
.
, , , ,

are at t h e end generally p resided O ver by the

‘

lady s maid Waiters are engaged for the other

’
.

p ortion Of the table where there are sandwi ches , ,

rolls fi lled with lobster sa l ad cakes buns fruit , , , ,

claret and champagne cup -

.

S ometimes these afternoon entertai n ments a re

diversified by amateur musi c and then t he grand ,

piano is generally pla c ed in the centre of the ba c k

drawing room the performers are grou p ed behind
-
,

it and the audien c e stand round as they please

, .

Of course when there are professional singers the

entertainment assumes the importance Of a con
cert chairs are plac ed in rows as for an evening
,
“ ”
c on c e rt mu sic is put in the corner Of the
,

cards and programmes are provide d and d is t ri

, ,

b uted by the servants S ometimes the enter t ain .

ment consists Of the performan c es of Mr Corney .

Grain or Of one or two French p erformers who

, _ ,

ena c t comedies cl e sa lon I n either c ase it is better

'

to notify the fact upon the card as those who ,

arrive late are apt to b e dis a ppointed and wish ,

they had known the pl easure that awaite d them .

54 AFTE RNO ON TE A.

The one form Of enterta i nment wh ich never

su c ceeds in the afternoon is d an c in g People .

have not the requisite e n ergy for it so early in the

day and flushed cheeks and loosened hair are more
,

visible by daylight than at night O n the whole .

,

we think that those teas wh ich aim at nothing

more ambitious than gathering people together
“

to talk are the most su cc essful There is nothing .

people enj oy so thoroughly as hearing themselves

talk and they are apt to regard even the best
,

music as an interruption This is proved by the

.

persistence with whi c h they s ometimes t a lk

through it Those host esses who are desirous
.

Of giving afternoon parties an d who have villas

_
,

in the neighbourhood of London are much to be ,

co n gratulated except that t hey undergo unspeak

,

able anxiety respecting the weather On a fine .

hot d ay every one enj oys a party given in a pretty

garden under fi ne trees such as grace the ma
, ,

j o rity of the London suburbs S pace too is not .

, ,

so great an Obj ect and a hostess is not compelled

,

to be so rigorously exclusive in her invitations .

A band is generally stationed under the trees a n d ,

the refreshments are served in variou s tents and

m arquees scattered about the grounds .

A special feature too at these gatherings is

, , ,

the presen c e O f chil d ren who can run about and

,

play together on the grass without the same cer

tainty Of being in the way that would attend their
a ppearance in a d rawing room When children
-
.

are invited it is very u sual to have “ Pun ch ”

, ,
 LEAV I NG C ARDS .
55

pe rforming dogs or monkeys or some other ,

spe c ial entertainm ent for them All cards for .

al
s uch
f resco parties should b ear the wor ds ,
“
Weather permittin g ”
After an afternoon .

party as after any other card s should be left

, , ,

if possible the next day ; or if that cannot be

‘

, , ,

as soon after as is possible This should be don e .

whether th e party has been attended or not ; and

if at the last moment it has b een found im p os
sible t o attend , it is courteous to leave a note
Mr and Mrs A and the M isses A regret they
. . . .

were unavoidably prevented having the pleasure

“
o f w a it in g on Mrs or Of availing them
'

”
selves Of M rs B S kind invit a tion Of yesterday
. .
’
.

These small details may appear very trivial but ,

it is t he ac c urate knowledge and pra c tice Of them

that constitutes the difference be tween sa voirfn ir e -

and so c ial ignoran c e These afternoon parties .

are very pleasant though h ardly we think so

, , ,

enj oyable as those given in the evening ; but the

hurry Of London fashionable life is S O great that
it is i mpossible to find nights eno u gh f o r all the
parties that are to be give n and many ladies ,

attend three or four teas before dining out a n d ,

pro c eeding to a d rum concert and one or more , ,

balls .

I n the friendly gatherings Of whi c h we sp oke a t

fi rst t h e tables in two tiers will be found very
,

convenient ; the upper shelf bei n g o cc upied by the

cups teapot milk etc the lo w er by the bread
, , , .
,

and butter c ake and spare cups Whi te table

-
, ,
.
56 AFTE RNOON TEA .

c loths are not used b u t those embroidered in

,

c rewels on coarse linen or c rash are fa s hionable .

The sau c ers with a sort Of fan shape d proj ection -

for holding a pie c e Of c ake or bread and butter - -

are most convenient as they leave t he hands,

more at liberty The tea tab le should be attended

.
-

to by the hostess or her daughters in a small

party or in a larger one should be pla c ed in the
,
e

b ack drawing room and attended to by the ser

-
,

vants who are stationed behind it I t is a gre a t

, .

m istake to have s e fv a n t s moving about with cups

and trays ; they are greatly in the way and ,

impede conversation .

M u c h attention is expended upon the toilettes

worn at afternoon receptions as in summer the ,

dresses are so fully seen by daylight For any .

parties o ccurring at a season when wraps are a

necessity the long fur lined silk or c ashmere
,
-

cloa k s are most conv enient as they can be easily

,
i

s l ip p e d O ff in the hall and the discomfort to say —

,

nothing Of the absolute danger Of sitting in a —

h ot room in the same warm clothing that is re

q uired in the carriage avoided I t is well to have
. .

the name legibly inscribed on tape a n d se w n in

'

the c loak to prevent m istakes The hostess s

’

, .

dress should be ri c h and suitable but n ot so ,

m uc h so as to outshine those O f her g ues ts Lad ies .

should be parti c ular nev er to take any friend with

them to an afternoon p arty merely be c a use she
h appens to b e driving wi th them it is ext re mely
ill b red thou g h far from un c ommon Th ey would
-
, .
 UNINVI TED FRIE NDS .
57

ever d rea m of taki n g such a liberty at an even

‘

ing party a nd it is qui te as grea t an error in the

,

afternoon Also they should never take c hildren

.
,

unless they are asked the h ostess has probably , ,

infinitely more friends than space and the c hildren ,

are ce rtain to be terribly in the way ; besides t hey ,

should consider that if the hostess had wished to

see the children she would have invited them .

Attention t o these small detai ls a n d courtesie s

constitutes the d ifference be tween an ill and wel l
bred perso n and therefore it is not amiss to point
,

ou t the r ig ht a n d the wrong thing to do ; for

°

many persons err griev o usly in su c h respe c ts from

c arelessness and want O f tho u ght I t does not .

seem to o cc u r to them for instance that a lthough , ,

Mrs A who is driving with them is a d ear frien d

. .
, ,

of theirs and in their opinion a c ha rming

, , ,

woman Mrs B may not c o nsi d er her S O or

,
. .
,

may have som e special reason for not wishing t o

make her a c quaintance If they do not like to .

leave her in the carriage while they go in t he y ,

.
.

should renounce t he pleasure O f the entertain ,

m ent ; but under no cir cumstanc es s hould they

permit themselves to take a liberty with the ir
friend .

If you h ave a large c irc le O f friends and are at ,

home to them one stated a fternoon in each week ,

yo u will generally fi nd that they if we ma y so s ay , ,

arrange themselves They do not all c om e every .

week b ut look i n perhaps ea c h Of them on c e in

,

thre e w eeks or a month ; thus you hav e never an

58 AFTE RNOON TE A .

overwhelming party to look after but j ust enough ,

ea c h week to make it pleasant As your frien d s .

will b e most likely a c quainted more or less with

each o t her c onversation will be general ; mutual
,

friends Of yours and Of each other s will meet at ’

your house and will nat u rally fall i nto chatty con
,

verse without much aid on your part .

Introductions are not u sual now for presu m ably ,

T
m eeting at a friend s house peopl e if known to
’

, ,

each other previously or not fall into conversation , ,

su c h a c quaintance not necessitating any after

a c knowle d gm ent on either S ide The hostess can .

u se her own discretio n on the subj ect Of intro

d uc t io n s and make them where s h e knows it will
,

be agreeable to each person so to do but this

po w er must b e tempered very ni c ely with dis
cre t ion or instead Of pleasing O ffence will very
, ,

pos sibly be given A hostess should above all

.
,

things have the art Of knowing what people t o in

,

t r o d u c e to ea c h other W hat people have tastes in

,

common and then with ready tact to give some

,

clue to each one s specialty ; suppose both are

’

musi c al or cultivate art or are fond Of the same

, ,

amusements or have mutual friends nothing is

, ,

easier than to strike the key note before you go Off -

to loo k after som e one else .

In a larg e gathering it is Of course di fficult for '

the hostess to show due c are for a ll but if she has

,
,

the art of entertaining she will soon a cc omplish

this sin e gn cl n on in the part S he has to play Music .

a l w ays help s on an afternoon Of this kind U nder .

 AFTE RNO ON TEA .
_ 59

cov er of music t he shiest people fi nd courage to

make a remark a n d duri n g instrumental m usic
,

talki n g is allowable tho u gh not during singing

, .

I f the hostess has a purs u it which take s up a

'

g oo d d e a l O f her time and prevents h er being able

to attend to the perpetual rou n d of calling whi c h ,

in a town becomes in some c ases a perfec t tax

.

then the one home day relieves her from being

everlasti n gly en ev id en ce Her friends learn to
.

know she leads a busy life but on th e one day she ,

sets apart for th em on that day she will be found

,

delighted to give them a welcome

'

I n Paris men att end thés con s en ts as they are ,

there c alled very mu ch more than they do in

,

E ngland but there the art Of conversation is far

,

more practical than with us ; here t oo often our , ,

neighbours and the weather form our stock ih -

trade small wonder if it be c omes in time weari

,

some An agreeable hostess without being espe

.

c ia l ly c lever can m anage to introduce the top i c s

,

of the day and g e t her guests to talk to each other

,

and dra w each other out TO do this she must be

.

bright and a greeably sympatheti c have a c onsi der ,

able amount Of tact and u n s el fi s hn es s and b e ,

familiar to a certain extent with what is going

, ,

on in the outside world Of art and pleasure Then .

her five O c lo c k teas will be sought after a nd

’
,

though she m ay be unable to gi v e any other more

o stentatiou s form of entertainment people will ,

not consider her churlish nor wanting in social

kindne s s .
 G OO D MANNE R S .

Pn E AS ANr M A NNE R S ; TH E GOL DEN

'
RU LE ; E X TREM E C DO R AN U
C um xv m-ro x OF C a e s a r-
“
am a ss ; V
S E NS I TI E NESS ; e a rc n r r on
WAR DNE SS Q U E S TI ONS .

A FEW words on general behaviour irrespective of ,

the relations of hostess a n d guest may not be

‘
,

in apr opos though perhaps not stri ctly relevant to

,

the title of this little volume Nex t to a pleasant .

fa c e a pleasant manner helps us to get easily

,

through the world and to make frien ds as we go .

With a k ind f ace a bright manner a n d a pleasin g

, ,

voice a man does not n e ed to be clever nor a

, ,

w oman to be handsome Their way is cle ared for .

them To some good manners come easily to

.
,
—

o thers with d i fficulty or never at all There are

, .

both men and women we have met to whom we ,

have inwa rdly sai d quoting J acqu es “

I thank you
, ,
.

for y o u r company ; but good faith I had as lief have

, ,

been myself a lone G od be with you ; le t s meet as

.
’

”
little as we ca n It may indeed be but a hidden
.

shyness on their part that makes them dis agreeable,

or it may be that thin c rus t of malevolen c e that
many hones t n a tures c hoose to c lothe themsel v es
withal V e ry bad he art s are rare ; and if proof of
. .
 THE EX TRE M E OF C ANDO UR . 61

this were n eeded witness the surp rise of those who

,

receive an ill nature d rebu ff or rude reply It is

-
.

u nexpected an d
, being admittedl y exceptional
, ,

proves the rule B ut if bad hearts are rare bad

.
,

manners are not unco m mon The il l taught body .

-

conveys distorted m eanings from the mind to the

world outside it ; or t he m ind itself has never
learned that con sideration for others conveyed in
the 05 0102“ R ul e for m anners as for morals .

”
Put you rself i n his pla ce i s the first thi n g to be
,

done in order to arrive at the knowledge of what

our neighbour would wish us to do by him ; and
thi s is not al ways easy It is a h ard thing to learn
.

m anners by our mistak e s to see that some a l l us ior

has given pain and say to ourselves self re proach
,
-

fully, I ought to have known ; to rush in u n ,

”
witting where angels fear to tread and read in
, ,

a gonised eyes our bitter lesson The Very young .

have s ome small excuse for faults like these but ,

those who are old enough to have su ffered , m u st be

wanting either in hear t or sympathetic feeling if
’

hey blunder .

The extrem e of candour is one of the most fatal

of thes e blun ders and the harder to be borne
, _ ,

because the delinquent prides himself or h erself

u pon the possession of the quality I t is an uh .

christian action to tell us some hard thing s our

acquaintances h ave said of us becau se we Ought ,

to know ”
.We ought n ot t o know and would be ,

very m uch h appier if we had never known ; but ou r

infor mant g oes from us w e ll cont ent an d smilin g ,
62 G O O D M AN
'
NE RS .

leaving us with an ache at our hearts of which a ,

little corner is Ofte n a j ust re s entment against the

mischief maker who has so unnecessarily been
-

candid with us .

The cultivation of c heerfulness is a neces sary

”
part of good manners It is very pleasant says
.
,

George E liot to se e some men turn round pleas

, ,

ant as a s udden rush of warm air in winter or the

.
, ,

flash of fi rel ig ht in th e chill dusk ”

We all know .

such men and such women They Carry brightness .

with them w herever th ey go W hen we are in .

trouble we fi nd consolation and healing in the

,

warm hand clasp of such friends comfort and rest

-

in the honest sympathy that shines from their eye s

and sounds in th eir voi c e s .

But there are not many so selfless in disposition ;

and more n umerous are those who obtrude the m
s elves upon the world a t large and assert their own

special likes and dislikes upon all oc c asions There .

“
could scarcely be a worse form of bad manners I .

”
am so sensitive says an ill tempered woman who
,
-
,

never considers t he feelings of others for a moment ,

but expects all to accord to her a very special con

sideration Truly sensitive persons were never yet
.

heard to declare themselves to be so They go

,
.

through the world try ing to conceal the fact .

Nature has pl aced their hear ts on their sleeve but ,

they carefully cover them from the d aws who are

ever ready to peek at hearts A most artistic and .

fi nis hed portrayal Of character of the soi dzsan t

’

s ensitive ord er is that of Hest e r in Harriet Mar

 G OO D B RE E D I NG . 63

“
t in ea u
'

D ee rbrook
’
s S uffering intensely herself
from nothing in the world but defective t emper
and a suspi c ious disposition she nearly tires out ,

th e patience of thos e even who love her very dear l y .

Hester m ust have been drawn from the life We .

have all alas met her and suffered from her and
, , ,

pitied her when our rese ntment allowed us to

,

do so .

Another type of obtru sive bad manners is the

m a n w h o prides himself upon being “ thoroughly
‘

”
s traightforw ard and who acts up to his own
,

ideal of his character apparently upon those oc ,

casions only when to do so is particularly disagree

able . H is friends soon discover that the brusque
d irectness which i s constantly placin g them upon
th e horns of social dilemmas is apt to fail when
called upon in affairs of moment S traightforward .

ness is an exc ellent quality but it sh ould be counter ,

balanced by a gentle consideration for others and ,

kep t in control by the sa umier in mod o which is to

’

the full as great a power as the for titer in r e .

A person of good breedin g se l dom asks question s ,

and never insists u pon a relu c tant answer There .

is a very homely saying which contains the p it h

“
of this section of good manners Ask me no
qu estions and I will tell you no lies
,
If statistics .

could be laid before us of the number of untrue

replies that have been ma d e to unwel c ome
questions no further proof would be needed of the
,

fact that as a rule questions are uncivil

, , The .

typical American (who is no more like the re a l

64 G O O D M ANNE R S .

Ameri c an than the ideal E nglish M ay is like the

real ) is the greatest c ri minal in this matter ; but
there is a way of insi n uating a question and getting
the vi c tim into a co rn er from which he cannot escape
,

without answering truly or untruly that is quite

,

as rude as the series of point blank queries put

-

into th e mout h of the Yankee of En gl ish l itera ture'

L ittle ho w ever need be said on this point since ,

those who h ave experi en ced th e inconvenien ce of

ma l dpr opos questioning will certainly spare others
-

a like infliction ; and who i s th ere that has not

suffered from the endless notes of interrogation
which answer to the idea of c onversation to man y
minds
If we take as a guide the inimitable maxim Do ,

unto others as ye would they should do unto you

if we n ote all that annoys ourselves only that we
may avoid annoying others in a similar way ; if we
store up in our me mory all that has pleased our
selves in the manner or conversation of others so ,

that we may thereby give pleasure to our friends in

our turn — considering others as we would be con
s id ere d-
w e shall be doing our best to attain to that
excellen c e of behaviour which S t Peter mus t have
.

had in his mind when he wrote :

"
5: pit iful , be court eous
21 .
 COUNT R Y V I S ITI NG .

I NV I TATI ONS DRE S S ES H A TS B ONNE TS PA C K I NG U NPAC K I NG

D E PA RTURE.

IT is usual when one is asked to th e sam e

,

places every year for invitations to be about t he

,

same time either in S epte mber O ctober or

, , ,

No v ember which are the three c hief co untry

,

visiting months D uri ng these there is always

.

sho oting going on for the gentlem en and the ,

hostess likes to fi ll her house wit h ladies also at

the sam e time W e shall more espe c ially consid er
.

y oung ladies in the foll owing remarks .

It is less expensive to go from house to hou s e

than it is to return hom e each tim e an d star t
afresh S ometimes the invitations fi t in beauti
.

fully A week here a fe w days at the next h Ou s e

.
,

to follow and so on ; happily n ow there is not th e

,

uncertainty about visits there use d to b e One is .

asked for four or five days or a week as the case ,

m ay be an? th e time of coming a n d going fixed

, ,

whi c h saves one fro m th inking I wonder h o w ,

lo n g they expect m e to stay and ends in m aking

 CO UNTRY V Is ITs
‘

oneself quite un c omfortab l e fa ll C3ill g 0 116 has ,

’

either stayed too long or else hurried away

,
.

W e shall suppose the visits altogether will

exte nd over three w eeks about a week at each ,

house in ord er to offer a little advice on the subject

,

of dress If yo u do not meet the same people at

.

ea c h house y ou can m ake one set of dresses with

, ,

c are do for all your visits

,
Tw o morni n g dresses .
,

two aft e rnoon dre sses an d three or four eveni n g

,

toilette s w ill be enough with a suffi cient quantity

,

of li n en t o last you without washing as for short ,

v isits it is not usual to put y our things out You .

w ill need wraps of course at least t wo out Of door ,

- -

garments V ery likely you will have your after

.

noon dresses regular costumes with hats to match , .

I f you ha v e a fur set of either seal sable skunk , , ,

or some good fur it will hold you in good stead ;

,

and even if yOu wear your furs d a y after day you

need not mind as it is quite permissible to wear a
,

handsome fur j acket on all an d every o ccasion .

Y o u should take an opera c loak or fur lined cloak ,

-
,

in case you go out to a party while on your visits ,

or V illage Pe n n y Readings or c on c ert things very , ,

mu c h appreciated in the country and which your ,

hos t ess if of any status will be sure to be obliged

, ,

to pat ronise if it is in he r parish Take also your

, .

habit and riding h a t if y o u ri de ; a warm co m

-
,

fo r t a bl e dressi n g go w n for use in your own roo m

-
,

and a dressy tea gown if you w ear s ifc h things

-
,

only do n o t appear in it unless you fi nd it is a

custom of your hostess to wear s uch a costume or ,
 TIIR NEC E S S ARY DRE S S E S
-

. 67

y ou will feel uncomfort able ; do not w ear it the

fi rst day at all eve nts until you see what the ,

others do .

I t may b e as well p erhaps t o enter a little into

, ,

detail with r egard to your dresses You r two ,

.

morning c ostumes would of c ourse be of thick ,

warm materials plainly a n d neatly m ade ; say one

,

of cloth and another of velveteen ; these should

,

be mad e walk ing length with a ba layeztse of som e

'

bright colour m atching the tri m mi n g of the dress

, .

Your two afternoon dresses will b e more elaborate

you c ould change into th em if necessary before , ,

th e two O clo c k lunch in order to b e ready for the

’
,

driv e or whatev e r amusement follo w s that meal

, .

If lawn tennis you would keep on your morning

,

dress or if you have a regular dress for the game

, ,

choose that instead Aft ernoon dresses shoul d .

be composed of t w o materials satin and plush —

,

or silk and cashmere .

A b uttoned ou trai n to wear with th e satin and

-

p lush would b e advisab le so as t o c onvert i t with ,

the ad d ition of lac e a nd extra ribbons of t he same

colour into a quiet dinner d ress These buttoned
,
.

on trains are easily arranged and are a c onsider ,

able c omfort H ave gloves to m atch all your

.

dresses , also sto ckings I t may seem ex travagant .

to start with but in th e en d it is a saving E vening

,
.

dr esses sho uld b e cut square or heart shaped ; n Ot ,

-

low as thes e are little worn n o w even for a ball

, ,

only on S ta t e occ a s ion s Those d resses which do .

not expose th e shoulders are ve ry m u c h more

68 U NTRY VI S I TS
‘

CO .

gra c eful and w ith la c e c a n b e made as dre ssy as

,

you please For a girl nothing is in better taste

.

than pure whi te or ivor y You c a n always bri ghten .

it u p with colour ; bu t white or cream is more

girlish and suitable th an any colour and worn ,

with trails of natural flowers or autumn le aves is

alw ays in good taste B y the way if you are .
,

handy with your fingers a ra mble in a wood will ,

give you fresh adornments for y our dress if you ,

have some fine flower wire with yo u and an ,

ordinary share of taste S a y then you have on e .

, ,

white or cream dress short with extra train one, , ,

coloured and one bla c k with coloured flowers or

,

ribbon you will be amply provided for a week s

,
’

vi s it espe c ially if you have one of your aftern oon

,

dresses which can be made into a dinner dress

,

as well .

As to hats do not choose outré or eccentric

,

shapes they are n ot well worn and look decidedly

, ,

fast H ave one hat with you whi c h will stand

.

wet weather ; a soft felt is best ; it might be m ade

O f the sam e material as y our ulster or at least of ,

the same c olour In the country that useful sort

.

of garm ent will be found very handy Take t wo .

pair of neat thi c k boots a pair of riding boots (if

, ,

you ride) t w o pair of eveni n g shoes one pair of

, ,

white or c ream for the ball dress one pair o f ,

morni n g S hoes and a comfortable pair of slippers

,
.

S e e that all your toile t a cc essori es are neat ; nice

brushes with a c ase for them a n d a ca Se to match
, ,

for your night dress ; these might be w orked by

-
 PAC K I NG . 69

yourself , Wi t h
your monogram in cre w els H ave .

s c is s o r s p in s hair pins a needle book and different

, ,
-
,
-
,

coloured cottons handy ; also extra boot buttons ,

and a button hook with you also a good sized h and

-
,
-

glass E xtra lace ru ffles cuffs for riding hand

.
, , ,

kerchiefs fans evening glove s and mi ttens y ou

, , , ,

will of course be provided with Take writin g

, , .

m aterials ; they are usually provide d for you bu t ,

it is j ust possible they may not be And last of .

,

all a good size d wicker trunk covered with

“

-
, ,

leather wit h an outside c a s e neatly bound and

, ,

lettered with your initials to pack all these be ,

lon g ings in .

It is quit e necessary you should know how to

pa c k well You may ha v e a maid to pac k for you
.

in which case when visiting you will mo s t likely

, ,

take her and she will pack unpack and do every

, , ,

thing for you but if you h ave no maid you m ust ,

d o your work yourself To line you r trunk with .

c lean paper is th e preliminary step That done .

,

of course you know that all heavies should go in

fi r s t ibo o k s boxes (unless hol ding flo w ers ) boots
—
, ,

and sho es ; then you r linen then thick d resses , ,

ri d ing habit and the skirts of e v ening on es if

, ,

separate ; th en you r light evening things Y p u .

h ave in the basket trunks a tray for bonne ts hats -

, ,

flowers and small articles such as laces ribbons

, , , ,

and gloves .

The more carefully you pack the longer wil l ,

your dresses keep fresh Never turn a dress inside .

out to pack ; it is an old fas hi oned ex ploded idea , -

,
70 , CO U NTRY VI S I TS .

and moreov e r a wrong one Fold from the poc k et

, ,
.

seam the d re s ses wil l lie flatter

,
Bodices of .

dresses s hould have p a p e r (silver) inserte d b etween

bows of ribbons or small puffs of th e material to ,

prevent their c rushi n g ; c otton woo l round flowers ,

if on toilettes and a sheet of S ilver paper bet w een

,

each evening dress or yello w tissue p a per which , ,

is even better ; wrap u p buttons silver or gilt to ,

"

prevent their t arnishing and over the top of the ,

trunk before the tray is placed in lay a sheet of

, ,

yellow or blue tissue paper ; then put in your tray -

‘

packe d with yo ur light small articles and your ,

h a ts or bonnets Lay over the to p of this another

.

S heet of paper and your trunk can be locked and

,

strapped ready for your j ourney

, .

U npacking is quite as mu ch to be considered as

packing DO not be in a hurry If your room is
. .

provided with a h a n ging wardrob e shake out and ,

hang up your thick dresses and the ski rt s of your

evening go w ns Lay the bodices c arefully in a
.

dr awer allowing the paper wadding to remain in

,

them until required for use ; put o n e of your sheets

of paper over these as they lie flat in a drawer ; put
the other over your hats and bonnets in another .

V ery oft en your room is not large enough to allo w

of your trunk remainin g in it or your hostess may ,

not care to se e luggage about Anyhow it is far .

,

better to unpack than leave your things in you r .

box as you are sure to spoil them and tumble

, ,

them about in y our searc h after thi n gs you want

“

e ac h d a y Fold up all paper s you have used in

.
 DU TI E S O F G U E S TS .
7I
_

pac k ing before you send your trunk a w ay and ,

deposit the m in it ready for re p acking ; loc k you r

,
-

box an d keep t he key You will the n have paper

.

ready to your hand when yo u wish to wrap up y ou r

things again B ags for boots are better than paper ;
.

you might m ake yours e lf a set of some bright

coloured dimity and al w ays keep them clean and
,

ready for visiting Your best fur j a cket I concl ude

.

you will we a r ; your ul s ter and wraps you can strap

neatly together as a bundle ; your other j acket s
a n d cl oaks you can pack You n ow are ready to
. .

start
.

You arrive probably abo ut tea time and aft er

, ,
~
, ,

a cup Of that refreshing beverage are conduct ed ,

to your room where you can unpa ck at leisure

, .

Your hostess will probably tell you if she expect s

a n y company to dinner and you will then kno w,

what dress to p u t on for that evening , whether

your b est dinn e r dress or a quiet one .

There are m any ways in which you ng ladie s

staying in a hous e c an hel p their hostess I f they
_
.

sing or play they c a n do so dir ectly t hey are asked

, ,

without waiting t o b e pre s sed and so contribu te

.
,

their quota to the evening s amusement A young ’

.

lady who on l ys in g s or plays u nder a large amount

of pressure makes a very gre at mistake If s he .

sings well there can be no reason w hy sh e should

,
.

not at onc e d o as sh e is asked I f sh e only plays .

or sings a little ready compliance di sarm s criticism

, .

Then if there are children in the house young

ladi es can a l w ays help to amu s e them or they ,
 '

7
°
a d CO U NTRY V Is ITs .

could w rite th e men us for t heir hostess or at all , ,

events offer t o do so or j oi n pleasantly in any

, ,

effort she m a y make towards getting up amuse

ments for them I f d an cing is goin g on and no .

regular mu si c provided any girl who can play ,

d an c e music should of c ourse take her turn in

doing so and n o t allo w all the work to fa ll on those
,

who first volunteered their servi c es I ndeed there .

,

are m any ways in whi c h a bright lively girl can ,

h elp her ho s tess without appearing obtru s ive .

Th e s ubj ect Of gratuitie s to servants is a vexed

one If girls are visiting with their parents the
.

onus of the business generally falls on the latter .

If they are visiting alone either singly or t w o , ,

sisters together t h ey must of course give according

,

to their means and to the work whi c h has been

,

d one for them ; if they ha ve had assistance n I

dressing for dinner ea c h night they would nat u ,

rally offer a larger d ouccm than they would other '

wise do But it is not in the least nece ssary that

.

they should give a n ything to the men servants in -

the hou se unless they have ridden while staying

,

there and then the groom who had c harge of the

,

horse or horses u sed would n aturally expect to be

remembered From half a crown to fi ve s hillings
.
- -
,

a cc ording to the length of the visit and the amount ,

of w ork done would be q u ite suffi c ient for a single

,

lady to g ive for say the inside of a week s visit

, ,
’
.

The e ntire system i s a wrong one but as it is likely ,

to continu e it is u seless to enter in to any dis

,

c u s s ion here respecting its m erits or demerits .

 U
DE PAR T R E . 73

When the time for the visi t is over yo u wil l

prob ably fi nd that som e arrangement has been
made by your friends for c onveying you to th e
railway station ; fall in if possible with any plan s
, ,

made or else you may put out other a rrangements

, .
 P I C NI C S .

C IIO ICE L OC AL I TY ;
OF I NV I TATI ONS ; C O NV EY A NCE or G U ES TS ‘

A
F RE L U NC I IEO N ; FI
—
VE o c Loc x TE A S I TA BLE DRESS ;
'

U I NTRO .

D UC TIO NS .

WH E N the London season is fairl y over and those ,

w ho have been e n j oying its gaieties h a ve r eturned

once more to their country homes it is the turn of ,

those who have been quietly stat ionary and oc en

pied with their usual tranquil avocations a n d who ,

have e n j oyed none of the fi erc e delights of mid

night balls or of m orning canters in the Row ; of
watching ex c iti n g polo m atches at H urlingham or ,
’
closely c ontested cricket mat c hes at Lord s ; of
visits to Ascot water parties at M aidenhead or
,
-
,

skating r czm zon s at Prince s to h ave their milder

’ ’
’
,

dissipation August w eath e r is generally fine hot

.
, ,

and fairly settled ; the da y s are long and the even

ings warm and delightfully adapte d for long drives
in the still soft air M ost houses in a n eighbour
, .

hoo d ha ve one or m ore casual guests though not ,

th e large parties which assemble later in the year

w hen t h e shooting season has begun ; and it is
invariably de c ided that a pi c nic affords one of the
pleasantest m eans of m eeting po s sible under the
 PI C NI C S .
75

circumstances The fi rst c onsideration is the

selection of the spo t to he visited a n d the point i s ,

a very important one I t should be a pl a ce p o s

.

sess e d of some attractions affo rding s ometh ing ,

interesting to be seen when the i m por t ant b u s iness

of luncheon is over I t should be easily atta inabl e
.

by a ll those who are to be invited and y e t not a ,

spot so well known as to be weari s om e ; it should

‘

be safe from the invasion for that day at least of

, ,

e xcursionists ; and if it is by any m e a ns possible it

'

is h ighly desirable that there should be some

shelter near at hand so that in case of one of t h e
,

sudden changes of weather so common in this fickle

climate there should be some place of refuge
,
'
.

The place and the day b eing d ecid ed u pon the ,

.

next s t ep is to issue the invitations The best plan is .

certainly to write notes rather than to send formal

invitations : there a r e g e n e ral ly so m a n y m a tt e rs
‘

to be explained which cannot b e done on a formal

card There are very many methods of arranging
.

such a party S ometim es the guests are reque s ted

.

to meet at the appointed spo t at a given hou r ;

sometimes if any portion Of the j ourney has to be
,

m ade by train the train selected and the hour of

its arrival at different inter m
,

ed iate stations are

indicated . All arrangements in suc h instance s
respe cting the conveyanc e of guests should be
made by the originator of the picnic For instance .
,

having decided on the train and ascertained the ,

number of the guests and their int e ntions as to

j oi n i n g the t rai n or fi n din g t hei r own w ay to the
 PREL I M I NARY AR R ANG E M E NTS
76
.

rendezvous notic e should be given to the railway

,

O fficials of the prob able amount of accommodation

re quired which will avoi d much inconvenien ce

and considerable delay C are should also be.

taken so to arrange matters that a sufficient n u m

ber of vehicles shal l b e in re a diness at the fi nal
station to convey the party to their d e stination ,

and al so at a preconcerted hour to take the m

back a gain .

As it often exercises th e minds Of picnic pro

ject or s whether it is they or their guests w ho s hall
p ay for the railway fares and the necessary vehi c les
-

it is a s well to state that all the arranger of the

party has to do is to take care that the accomm od
ation is forthcoming the guests paying for their
,

own tickets and fl ys Formerly there wa s an idea

.

that at a picnic every guest should furnish some

portion of the feast and when there had not been
,

j udi c iou s pre consultation some very absurd results

-

sometimes took place s uc h as every one bringin g

,

a c hicken or perhaps a tongue which produced a

, ,

c ertain sameness in the repast Now ho w ever .

, ,

that picnics when given at all are generally large

, ,

ones it has b een found infinitely m ore convenient

,

either for the give r of the party to provide the '

whole luncheon or else for three or four friends to

,

co m bine one co n trib uting cold fowls and tongues ,

—

a nother lobster salad or any preparations of fish

and vegetables one pastry a n d j ellies another

, ,

wi n e and another fru i t E ach kno w ing exa ctly

, .

the arti cl e which alone t h ey hav e to provide there

’

,
 PI C NI C S . 77

is no fear of anything being forgotten ; and it Is

absolutely essential i n a large party th a t servants
should be taken as amateur pa c king and unpa c ki n g
,

are apt to be attended wit h disastrous re s ults .

S ometimes it is considered a great refine m ent to

have hot vegetables bu t this give s a grea t deal of
,

trouble and is quite unnecessary Col d chicken

,
. ,

ham and tongue rolls fi lled with lobster salad or

,

plain salad sandwi c hes mad e of pounded c hi c ken

,

or game foie gra s either made into sandwi ches

,

between thin slices of dry toast or a mouthful ,

enscon c ed in a tiny sh ape of Aspic j elly cold ,

salmon abundan c e of salad plenty of fruit b rea d

, , , ,

butter and cheese , quantities of ice and no stint

, ,

of claret cup champagne and cider cup pigeon

-
,
-
,

pies in which it i s es s ential that the pigeons

,

should b e boned and some D evonshire cream fo r

,

eating either with fruit or with tarts with these —

anything hot may well be dispensed with Ar .

ra n gements should be made to reach the trysting

pla c e about a n hour before the time settled for
lun c heon ; and the import ant point of where the
feast is to b e spread bei n g settled t he party S hould ,

disperse a signal being agreed upon to recall them

,

at the proper time Frequently however some of

.
, ,

the gentlemen volunteer to concoct the cups and

to mix the salads .

The c hoi c e of the spot is a matter of great con

sequence and one should b e selected where there
,

is a c ertainty of shade as it is impossibl e to hold,

up a parasol during luncheon and nothing is mor e ,

78 C IIOOS ING A S ITE FOR L U NC HEO N .

u n c omfortable for a lady than to be exposed to

a pit iless sun The i mmediate vi c inity of water
~
.

should also be avoided for not only is there a ,

blinding glare from it when the sun strikes the

.

surfa c e but it attracts m idges and other insects

,

whi ch sting unm ercifully C are should also be .

taken to see that the guests are not seated upon

'
an ant hill and that there is no wa s ps nest in the
-

imme d iate vi c inity though no pre c auti on will ,

absol utely prevent these inconvenient insects

making their way to the fruit and bri ngi n g dis ,

comfort and annoyan c e with them .

Luncheon is generally a somewhat prolonged en

t e rt a in m en t and when it is over t he party usually
,

disperse either to v isit the ruins or to walk to

, ,

the waterfall or to c limb to the top of the hill

,

to see the Vi ew or in short to amuse themselves

, , ,

a cc ording to the nature of the pla c e visited B efore .

they disperse arrangements should be definitely

,

m ade as to when and where they are to reassemble ,

and it is j udi c ious to n am e an hour rather earlier

than is absolutely ne c essary as in a large party it ,

is tolerably c er tain that there will be at least a few

unpun c tual people S ometimes if there is a cot .
,

t a ge near where water can be boile d it is con

, ,
-

s id e r e d pleasant to have five O c lo ck tea before ’

s t a rt ing for home : in any c ase well iced claret ‘

-
,

and c ider c ups should be attainable and any fruit

-

that may be left Care s hould be taken ho w ever .

, ,

not t o l e a v e it out in the sun as it utterly spoils

’

the flavour : it should be well covered with dam p

 PI C NI C S .
79

leaves and put as near th e ice as is possi ble .

S om etimes the whole c ompany adj ou rn t o the house

of one of the party for a late informal dinner o c
'

c a s ion a lly followed by a dance ; but this is apt to

make the day very long and tiring for the chape
rons however pleasant it may be to the young
,

people and had better not be attempted if the

,

j ourney to and fro ha s been a long one .

It is also somewhat perplexing in the m atter of

costume as the dre s s suitable for a picnic is hardly
,

suitable for a d ance while a toi l ette pretty enough

,

for the evening is sadly out of pl a ce where there is

'

any prospect of scrambling among ruins or v isiting

waterfalls or damp wood paths For young ladie s
-
.

nothing is prettier or m ore suitable than cotton ,

linen or holland dresses ; or e ls e mohair ticking

, , ,

s erge if the wind b e chilly homespun or some such

, ,

unpretending material and they should b e short

,

enough to be convenient for walking If the make .

and fa gon of the dress b e stylish an d all th e ,

adj un cts such as boots gloves a n d fi ehu u n e x

, , , ,

ce pt ion a b l e the toilette will look fully as well as

,

if made of more costly m at erials nay better for —

, ,

it will be more appropriate Elderly la d i es nee d

.

not of course affec t so s evere a S implicity of style ,

but even they will do well to a void el a borate tri m

mings and costly l a ce and shady hats are infi n itely
,

more app ropriate than smart bonnets It is n ot .

necessary for gen tlemen to we ar frock coats a n d -

tall hats a s for the more formal fe stivities of gard e n

,

o r ar chery p a rti e s S hootin g coats and wideawakes

.
-

are quit e p e rmissibl e at a picnic .

80 M I NO R DE TAI L S .

Invitations need n ot be very long a week is —

ample and they should al w ay s be extended to any

—

guests who may b e staying with the friends invited .

The latter in replying should b e particular in

, ,

stating whom they intend to b ring not only the —

number but also the names as it is pleasant for

,
—

the la d y arranging the party to kno w whom s he

may expe ct to see ; and if all the party meet at a
station and go togeth er it renders it easier to
,

arra n ge w ho should go together in the different

,

c arriages . I t is attention to all such mi nute

details whi c h ren ders parties suc c essful or the
reverse E n deavours should be m ade to prevent
.

there being an undue preponderance of ladies as

this always renders a party dull If t here is any .

re giment stationed in the neighbour hood it is of

cour s e more easy to obtain gentlemen and very ,

frequently they are asked to allow their band to

-

attend I t is advisable to introd uc e people t o ea ch

.

other as much as possible ; the c onditions of the

entertainment cause su ch c onstant c ha n ge of
groups that introductions are more useful than
,

under ordinary circumst a nces If the pla c e se .

l e c t e d can be rea c h e d by road and the party meet

,

at the point agreed on c ourtesy d em ands that

,

they should be pun ctual A fo u I in hand coa ch is

.
- -

a very delight ful means of transit if attainable and , ,

fortunate are thos e who arrive at their destination

so c omfortably .
 MA NNE R S AND C U S TO M S AT THE
S EAS I D E .

TA BLE D IIOTE ; M A NNE RS E TI Q ETTE ; S I T U U ABL E DRESS AC

’

; ;
Q UAINTANC ES IIIP C LL S A .

WH I L E there is a certain slight relaxation of social

rules in life at large hotels by the seaside there is , ,

on the other hand a necessity for particular care

,

in making fresh acquaintances The very cir .

cu m s t an ce s whi c h lead to the freedom of inter

course a t the ta bl e d kdte give oppo rtunities to

’
,

the unscrupul ous of forcing their attentions upon

others Men can easily disengage themselves fro m
.

the obtrusive Women too often fi nd gr eat d iffi

.
, ,

culty in doing so whether from a fear of giving

'

pain or from dread of rudeness in return for studied

coldness Inexperienced girls are Often induced
.

to ma k e the acquaintance of persons whom their

parents would at once detect as far removed from
their own so c ial position ; and for this among other ,

r easons the social rule ordaining that girls in good

,

society shall never go anywhere u n a t t en l e d m ust

be immaculately kept .

On the other hand the stiffness of manner which

, ,

is ch aract eristic of E ngli s hmen and E n glishwomen ,

7
82 M ANNE R S AND C U S TO M S AT TH E S E AS I DE .

need not b e rigidly maintained in th e drawi ng

room of the hotel or at the dinner table Those
,
-
.

who dread the conversation of p ersons who a p

proach them without a re g ular introduction should
have private rooms If they cannot afford these
.
,

l e t the m take lodging s A cold constrained.

,

manner is apt to rea c t upon others and its in ,

fl u en ce extends far in every direction from the

person from whom it emanate s .

The happy union of qu alitie s is a pleasant ,

fr a n k open manner wi th that ni c e perception of

, ,

the tr u e and sincere i n others which usually ,

accompanies the possession of tr ue culture The

gentlewoman at hear t is soon aware if the person
addre ssing her has b een brought up in the same
social sphere as her own The voice the tone .
, ,

the glance the gestu re the manner each of these

, ,
—

is an index to what is within If one fail all

.

.
,

cannot I n her own refinement she possesses a

.
,

test of refinement i n others .

The etiquette of ta ble d kdte i s similar t o that

’

of the ordinary dinner with the exception that the

,

waiters frequent ly show a tendency to neglect

some persons at table while they unduly favour
,

others This inclination has to be counteracted

.

by the best means at hand and this often occasions

,

m ore noise and fuss than would be permissible at

a private dinner table .

The question of suitabl e dress at a watering

place is rather a vexed one Many people collect .

a whol e trousseau of new dre sses bonn e ts hats

, , ,
 DRE S S AT TH E S E AS I DE . 83

parasols & c for a seaside campaign

, .
, Others .

s eem to imagine that it gives a fit O pportunity of

wearing out all kinds of half worn dresses Others -
.
,

taking a sensible view of the case provide them ,

selve s with a selection from their w ardrob e co m ,

prising comfortabl e a n d e v e n warm gowns for

‘

ch illy days with furs for c old evenings an d for

, ,

donning directly after the bathing in order to ,

induce the warm glow without whi c h t he bath ,

does more har m than good Fresh and pretty .

cottons cambrics a n d hollands for m orning wear

, ,

are not forgotten nor th e we ll made serge for

,
-

boating excursions For the evening a dinner.

,

dress of some material not easily crushed i s

necessary B lack g renadine or la c e over Silk i s
.
,

excellent for this purpose W hite dresses are .

popular for the seaside and deservedly so ; but

they easily con tract stains and when On e is far ,

from one s own espe c ial and trusted laundre ss

’

the matter is not so trifling as it would otherwise

be B ut for raids u nexpected o n the part of the
.

waves and for sandy foot marks donated by small

,
-

children in their affecti on ate eagernes s the whit e

i
,
”
dress would be the only wear for t hose who can
‘‘

appreciat e its picturesqueness as well as its cool

qualities .

The shingle is destructive to boots and shoes ,

so th at those of firmer construction than ord i nary

should be chosen In V l eW of a s ea s id e visit These .

need not b e clumsy but S hould be strong and the

, ,

l e ss orn a ment there is abo ut them the better ,

.
84 M ANNE RS AND C U S TOM S AT TH E S E AS I DE .

The glare about the seas ide is to som e persons

very unpleasant Th e use of a light coloured
.
-

parasol is le ss e ffectual to exclude this glare than

that of dark coloured ones S om e persons excuse
- .

their use of white parasols by saying that black

attracts the sun This is true but the purpose of
. ,

the pa ra sol i s to exclude the light The heat a t .

tracted by it is not conveye d to the person carrying

t h e p arasol .

W hen two families become acquainted at seaside

resorts the acquaintanceship s ometimes ripens
,

into intimacy and ultimately to friendship Oc

, .

c a s ion a l l y however both parties tacitly agre e to

, ,

drop the acquaintanceship after the visit which

occasioned it has ended E tiquette d oes not .

demand the continuance of thes e cas ual intimacies .

A call should never be made by o ne visitor to a

wat ering plac e until she has ascertained beyond a
-

doubt that her acquaintance will b e welcome to

the lady on whom S he calls There are many '

indirect ways of fi nding this out which need not ,

be pointed out They will occur to every one of

.

breeding Thos e who do not possess this valuable

.

qu a lity would not practise them were we to re

capitulate them Circumstance s will give any one
.

an opportunity of i mplying a wish for a closer

acqu a intance and circumstances will j ust as easily
,

admit of the implied wish bein g polit ely but tacitly ’

negatived or gently encouraged .

 TH E E TI Q U E T TE O F WE D D I NGS .

I NV I TATI O NS : FAV O U RS ; BOU Q U ETS : THE BRE AK FAST ; W EDDI NG

PRE S E NTs : S PE ECH E S ; TH E BR I DE
'
S PRECEDENCE ; W EDDI NG or
W IDow s BR I DESM A I DS DRES SES
’

TH E invitations are naturally the first considera

tion These are usually issue d by cards or else
.
,

by formal printed notes which run as follows ,

Mr and M rs A request the honour Of S ir Wil

. . .

lia m and Lady J ones s company at S t George s

’
.
’

Church H ano v er S quare on Tuesday December

, , ,

14 , at half past eleven o c lo c k to be present at

-
’
,

t h e marriage of their daughter and afterwards at ,

”
the breakfast at 1 0 0 G rosvenor Garden s
, S ome .

times the h our o f the breakfast is named which ,

signifies that the guests are not expected to go

straight from the church to the house but to ,

assemble there sh ortly before the breakfast hour .

Care should be taken always to answer an invita

.

tion to a wedding as it i s of course convenient to

,

know whom t o expect and it is only c ourteous to

be at the churc h before the bride arrives S he .

arri v es in the ca rriage with her mother a n d is r e ,

ceive d at the chur c h door by her father or if she

-

, ,

have not one her nearest male relative and her

, ,
86 O RDE R O F TH E PR O C E S S I O N .

bridesmaids H er father gives her his right arm

. ,

and c onducts her to the altar (or in the c ase of a ,

c horal or High Chur c h wedding to the centre of ,

t he c h ur c h where the fi rst portion of the ceremony

,

is performed ) where the bridegroom attended by

, ,

his b e st man awaits her The bri d e hands her

,
.

gloves handkerchief and bouquet to the head

, , ,

bridesmaid her sister if she has one and the

—
,
—

servi c e c ommences The bridesmaids follow the

.

brid e two and two up the aisle and it is advisable

- -
,

to be sto w a little preliminary thought upon how

t hey are to b e marshalle d so that those who walk ,

in pairs may be as n early as possible of the same

height Arrived at the altar they should S pread
.
,

out in a sem i c i rcle behind the bride .

The c eremony over the bride and bridegroom go ,

‘

to the vestry where they S ign the register (the bride

,

signing in her maiden name ) and receive the con

gratulations of their nearest relativ es M eanwhile .

t h e bridesmaids have been supplied with baskets

containi n g the favours and distribute them to the ,

company They generally consist of a spray of

.

j essamine a n d orange blossom with a fe w S ilver -

leaves with a little w hite satin ribbon for the

,

ladies and a spray of a c orns with both green and

,

silver leaves but no ribbon for the ge ntlemen

, ,
.

Those for the bridesmaids are usually more orna

ment a l and frequently contain a S pray of forget
,

me not
-
.

’
The bridesmaids bouquets are presented to
-

them by the bridegroom and are sent to t he m ,

 THE ETI Q UETTE OF WE DDI NGS . 87

e arl y in the morning as are also the locke ts or any

,

other souvenir wit h which he may presen t the m .

U n til lately lockets generally containing photo

,

graphs of bride and brid egroom an d bearing their ,

initials i n gol d , enamel Or precious stones were

, ,

the universal form of gift but n ow fans rings

, , ,

or bracelets are quite as fashionable The bride .

‘

groo m also presents the bride with her bouquet .

W hen th e bride and bridegroom have been in

formed by the best m a n that their carriage is
ready they are followed to the church d oor by the
,

bridesmaids in the same order as before and after ,

th ey have driven off the rest of the compa n y make

,

the best Of their Way to the house or if the break ,

fast i s not to take place for some time a m

,

use ,

themselve s as best they m ay till the hour arrives .

S om etimes the bridegroom is atten d ed by grooms

men one to each bridesmaid ; but this custom is
—

not acknowledged among the upper classes and ,

t he bridegroom is attended by only one friend the —

'

best man who a rran g es for him all necessary m at

—

ters such as paying fees seeing that the carriage

, ,

is in readiness and in fact leave s him quite free

, , ,

to concentrate his thoughts u pon his bride . .

D uring the interval which elapses between the

arr ival of the gu ests at the house and the announce
ment of breakfast the wedding presents afford
,

m uch int eresting occupation They s h ould b e

.

tastefully arranged on tables in the drawing rooms -

,

w ith a card bearing the d onor s name a ttached to

’

each M uch taste may be displayed in the ar

.
88 THE WE DDI NG B RE AKFAS T .

rangement but they look better if somewhat e las

,

S ifi e d ; for instan ce th e plate should be on one

,

tabl e the j ewellery on another etc V ery fre

, ,
.

quently on the d a y pre ce d in g the wedding an

, ‘

afternoon reception is g iven to which tho s e who ,

are not suffi ciently in t imate to be asked to the

cere mony are invited a n d at which the trousseau
,

is exhibited bu t this reception Is by no means a

,

nec essary portion of the wedding festivities and is ,

frequently omitted When breakfast is announ ced

.
,

the bride and bridegroom lead the way and seat ,

themselves in the centre of the long table Opposit e

the cake The bride s father follows with the
.
’

bridegroom s m other and seats himself next to his

’
,

d aughter and the bridegroom s father follows with

’
,

the bride s mother and places her next to the

’

bridegroom I n the interval before breakfast the

.

bride s m other has signified to the different gentle

’

m en What ladies they are to take do w n and they ,

follow in due order .

I t is sometimes arranged that all the bridesmaids ,

with the gentlemen who escor t them sit opposite ,

the b ride the best man taking the head brides

,

maid but there is no absolute rule about this We

, .

are supposing a sitting down breakfast but such -

,

are now by no means universal : it is quite as

usual to ha V e a long buffet as for a ball supper , ,

with a fe w small round tables for small parties at , ,

one of whi c h the bride and bridegroom and their

parents sit while th e others are o c cupied by the
,

principal guests The men u generally consists of

.
 Tn E ET I Q U E TTE OF WE DDI NGS . 89

soup co ld s almon mayonnaise Of lobster hot cut

, , ,

lets cha u dfr oid of quails or some other deli c a c y

, , ,

accord ing to the season, c old lamb ham chi c kens , , ,

tongue an d sweets the table b eing tastefully ar

, ,

ranged with fruits and flowers The men us have

'
.

generally s o m e s il ve r ornamentation about them .

S peec hes are happily almost out of date : very

, ,

frequently none are made at all ; if there are an y ,

they are c onfined to a very few words Th e gue s t .

of the highest consideration proposes th e health

of the you n g c ouple and the bridegroom return s ,

thanks and pro poses the h ealth of the brides

maids to W hi c h the best man responds S ome
,
.

time s the health Of the parents on both sides is

added but is much better omitted Previous to
, .

the health drinking the bride cuts the cake and as

-
,

soon as the healths are d runk retires to don her

travelling attire It is mu c h to be desired that
.

the happy pair should leave early as otherwise ,

the entertainm ent is unne c essarily prolonged and ,

becomes wearisome The bride appears in the .

drawing room to make h er adieux and most of the

-
,

company adj ourn to the balcony to witness th e

departure Two white satin slippers at least
.

should be thrown one by the best man the other

, ,

by one of the bridesmaids : it i s the farewell the ,

wishing G od speed of the unmarried to those who

-

have j ust left their ranks H andfuls of ri c e if .

,

thrown should be thrown by the m atrons who

, ,

thus welcom e a new re c ruit to their ranks .

After the departure the party at once breaks up .

90 WE DDINGS OE WIDows .

It is no longer usual to send cake or cards to dis

tant friends ; indeed s o completely has th e cus
,

tom been aban doned that the noti c e in the a n

,

n ou n c e m e n t of th e m arriage No c ards is now , ,

omitted W hen the bride reappears in society

.

after the honeymoon S he the fi rst time she dines

, ,

at any house takes precedence as a bride of all

, , ,

other ladies no matter how high m ay be their

,

rank This c ontinu es for three months after w hi ch

.
,

time S he is no longer c onsidered a bride S he .

generally wears her weddi n g dress for three din

ners b u t the orange fl ow er s mu st be omitted from
,
i
-

the coiffure : they are only permissible on the

we d ding day .

—
The wedding of a widow differs in many respects
from that of a you n g lady S he very rarely ind e ed .

wears white grey mauve or v iolet be ing con

—
, ,

s id er e d more appropriate ; S h e wears a bonnet ia

stead o f a veil or wreath S h e has no bridesmaids ,

and no favours are distributed It is generally .

c onsidered better taste for the wedding to be as

quiet as possible The breakfast if one is given

.
, ,

is c o nfined to near relatives and extremely inti

m ate friends W hen ho w ever a girl marries a
.
, ,

Wido w er there is no differen c e between the cere

,

mony and that which would take pla c e if he were

a bachelor I n London weddings there is seldom
.

any entertainment on the evenin g of the wedding

day In the country there is frequently a dance
.
,

to amuse the relatives an d fri ends who are n e ce s

sarily st a y ing in the house A wedding in the .
 TII E E TI Q U E TTE WE DDI NGS
‘

OF .
91

co u ntry is naturally mu c h more troublesome and

fatiguing than in London but it is also mu c h ,

prettier as the re is scope for m u c h display o f

,
-

taste in the de c oration of the church a rrange

'

ment of triumphal arc h es and other floral adorn

,

m ents.

The fashion lately introduced of having the

bridesmaids dresses made in ac c ordan c e with th e
’

season both as to colour and texture is emin ently

, ,

sensible ; and it m a y b e hoped that h en c eforth at ,

weddings that take pla c e i n autumn winter or , ,

early spring bridesmaids may no longer b e seen

,

shivering in thin dresses that are as u nbecoming

,

as they are dangerous to the health .

 TH E E TI Q U E TT E O F M O U R NI NG .

M O U RNI NG FOR W IDo w s ,PA RE NTS C H I L DR E N G RA NDPA RENTS ,

, ,

U NCLES , C O U S I NS ; D U R ATI ON ; M A TE R I A L S .

D U R I NG times of health and happiness it is per ,

haps rather trying to be asked to turn our thoughts

in to doleful c hannels ; but sooner or later in our
l ives the sad time c omes for W ho breathes must
suffer and who thinks mu s t mourn and We have
, ,

perforc e to turn our m inds to the inevitable and

“
s hare the c ommon lot of man In times of .

mourning it seems doubly hard to arouse ourselves ,

and allow the question of W hat to wear ?to ia

trud e itself I t is however necessary Custom
.
, , .

decrees if eve n i n c lination does not prompt us

, ,

to S how in some outward degree our respect for

the d ead by wearing the usual black
- .

We do not advise people to ru sh into black for

every sli ght b ereavement nor on the other hand , , ,

to S how the utter disregard some do on the death

of their relations a nd only acknowledge the de
,
“

parture of those n ear and dear to them by a band ‘

of c rape round the arm This is the mark of .

mourning adopted by those in the S ervi ces who ,

have to wear uniform but hardly a fi tting way of

,
 DE GRE E S OF M OU RNI NG .
93

ou tw ardly showing respect to the memory of those

wh o have been called away from us and whose ,

loss we deplore A short time since a lady a p

.
,

p e a r ed in a n e w ruby satin dress with a band of ,

crape round her arm The fact of the dress being .

new sho w ed that poverty did not cause this in

,

co n gruity It i s hardly ever those who are styled

.

“
the poor w ho so err against the accepte d ideas
,

of decenc y and respect They al w ays however .

,

straitened they may be in circumstances contrive ,

to wear mourning for their deceased relatives .

When black is fashionabl e no di ffi culty is found ,

in wearing it and you meet all yo u r friends so

,

attired but when it becomes a qu estion of d uty

, ,

these Obj ections are raised as to the unnecessary

expense and the incon venience of so dressing
, .

The maj ority adhere in this respect to the customs

their parents have followed but the advanced fe w .

are those who air such sentiments talk of t he ,

mourning of the heart not mere outward woe ”

, ,

and not w earing what is really mourning go ,

into society on the plea Oh "we kno w that ,

tho se Who are gone would not wish u s to grieve

”
for them This may b e all very well b ut in th e
. ,

e as e of husbands W ives parents brothers sisters

, , , , ,

aunts uncles and the nearer related cousins

, ,
-
,

decency requires some outwa rd mark of respect

to their memory .

I t will be as well to consider in succ ession the

d ifferent degrees of mourning and their duration , .

TH E WI DOW S is t he d eep es t mourning of a l l

’
.
94 TH E E TI Q U E TTE OF M O U RNI NG .

That Old fa shioned material B ombazine i s now no

-

longer heard of Paramatta is in the most genera l

.
‘

us e for wido w s B arathea i s also worn but the

. ,

fi r s t named is the most frequently used for the first

-

dresses ; but whate v er the material it is hi d den by ,

crape The S k irt which is generally cu t quite plai n

.
, ,

and S lightly trained i s completely c overed with ,

crape put on quite plainly in one piece ; t h e body

,

and S leeves are also hidden with crape the d ress —

,

in fact p resenting the appearance of one of crape

, .

The body c a n be cut either en prin cesse o r have a ,

deep j acket bodi c e ; but whichever is preferred

‘

crape should cover it completely .

The best and most e c onomical crape for all

wear i s the Rainproof Crape an improvem e nt and
“

development of the Albert Crape which is now ,

brought to the greatest perfe ction of manufact ure ;

it costs about half what Ordinary crape does to ,

begin with and is very much more durable ; its

,

imperviousness to weather being of course its , ,

great feature The best make of this is quite

.

suitable for widows mourning Its appearan ce ’

.

equals that of much more expensive ordinary crape .

I see no reason myself why especially if economy ,

he an obj e ct the Rainproof Crape S hould not be

,

w orn for all d egrees of mourning I have no hesi .

t a t io n in advising it For a se c ond dress it would

.

be a good plan to have som e half worn black dress -

entirely c overed with crape the Rainproof Crap e —

— this would save t he better dress a little

; and as
’
widows first mourning is worn for a year and a
 WI DOWS
’
M O U RNI NG .
95

day,it w ould b e advisable to st a rt w ith at least

tw
'

o dre s se s ; the crape on the m could be renewed

when necessary .

W ido w s m antles are either made of silk or

’
.

Paramatta trimmed deeply with crape or som

, ,

t imes of Cyprus Crape C loth or cloth crape ,

trimmed The Cyprus Crape C loth i s a sort of

.

crepe material and wears well neither dust nor

, ,

wet affecting it I n S hape t he w ido w s mantle is

.
,
’

a dolm an or lo n g cape of good s ize ; thi s for

_

elderly Wi dows For those younger j ackets or

.
,

palet ots crape trimmed of course are worn for

,
-
,

wint er wear and for sum mer mantles made e n

,
.

t ire ly of crape Th e bonnet is for first m ourning

all of cra pe with widow s cap tacked inside it the
,
’
,

small close fitting shape with long crape veil

, ,

h anging at the back ; besides this veil a S horter ,

o ne i s worn over the face Hats cannot be w orn .

by widows however young they might be during

, ,

t he period of their deepest mourning .

The following list would b e ample for a widow s ’

o utfit. I have give rather a large one because of ,

cours e it can be curtailed as wished

,
.

O ne best dre s s of Paramatta covere d entirely

with crape .

O ne dress either a costume of Cyprus Crape or

, ,

an old black dre ss covered with Rainproof C rape .

One Paramatta m antle lined wit h silk and ,

deep ly trimmed wit h crap e .

On e warmer j acket of clot h lined trimmed with ,

cra pe.
96 TH E E TI Q U E TTE OF MO U RNI NG .

O ne bonnet of best silk cra pe with long veil ,

.

One bonnet of Rainproof Crape with crape veil ,

.

Twelve collars and cuffs of muslin or lawn with ,

deep hems ; the price of l a w n cuffs would be from '

to 6 6 d th e set ; of muslin from z s to 2 5 6 d

5 s S . . .
. . .

the S et S everal sets m ust be provide d say six of

. ,

each kind .

One black stuff petticoat .

Four pairs of bl a ck hose either S ilk cashmere , , ,

or spun S ilk .

Twelve handk erchiefs with black borders for ,

ordinary use cambric , .

Twe lve of finer cambric for better occasions .

Caps either of lisse tulle or tarlatan shape , , ,

depending very m u ch on the age ; young widows

wear chiefly the Marie S tuart shape but all ,

wido w s caps have long streamers They vary of

’
.
,

course in price the lisse being from 1 0 3 6 d to

, , . .

1 2s 6 d. tulle from 6 S 6 d to 8 s 6 d tarlatan . . .

from 3s 6 d to 5 s 6 d These last are the easiest

. . . .

m ade at home but I do not fancy home made

,
-

widows caps are an economy they soil so much

’
,

more quickly than bought caps It is a good plan .

to buy extra streamers and bows for them these

ca n be made at home for the morning caps very ,

fine thread and needles being used for the work ,

wh ich S hould be very fine neat and even If in , , .

summer a parasol sh ould be required it should be ,

of S ilk d eeply trimmed with crape almost c overed

, ,
-

with it but no la c e or fri n ge for the fi rst year

, , .

Afterw ard s mourn ing fringe might b e p ut on A .

 WI DOWS ’
M O U RNI NG .
97

mu ff, if required would b e made of Param atta , and

,

tri mmed with crape .

Th e first mourning i s worn for t w elve months .

S econd mourning twelve months also the cap in

second mourni n g is le ft off and the crape no lo n ger ,

cover s th e d ress es b ut is put on in tucks E lderly

, .

widows frequently remain in mourning for long

p eriods if not for the re m ainder of their lives
, .

retaining the widow s cap collar and cuffs but

’
, , ,

le a ving off th e deep crape the S econd yea a n d r

,

after w ards entirely discarding crape but wearing ,

mourning mat erial s such as V ictoria cords J anus ,

cords cashmere and so on

, , .

No ornaments are worn in such deep mourning ,

e xcept j et for the first ye a r J et is of c ourse

, . .
, ,

allo w abl e . Rich silk is of course admissible in, ,

widows mourni n g esp ecially for evening wear

’
,
.

but it must al ways be deeply trimmed With crape

for the fi rst y e ar and the quantity a fterwards
,

gra d ually lessened A silk costume is a very ex

.

p ensive ite m in a widow s mourning therefore I ’

,

only allude to it do not s e t it down as a necessity

, .

The best silks for t he p u rp os e are rich heavy silks

‘

such as Grosgrain D rap d u Nord S atin Mer

, ,

veilleux Furs are not admissible in W idows first

.
’

mourning though very dark sealskin and astrachan

,

can b e worn when the dress is changed I n oth e r

mournings furs are now very generally worn that
, ,

is after the first few months but only d ark furs

, , .

W idows Lingerie to be always nice entails a

’
, ,

c ons iderab l e amount of exp ense I f collars cuffs .

, ,

8
98 THE E TI Q U ETTE OF MO U RNI NG .

and c a ps are made at home as I befo re said they , ,

get soile d direct l y ; as however it is not always

possible to buy them when th ey require renewi n g ,

th e following directions which I saw in a contem,

p o r a ry m a y prove of use z
,

Widows Cuffs m ade in tarlatan S hould be

’

, ,

about nine inc h e s long according to the siz e of ,

th e wrist They are not i nten d ed to overlap but

.
,

j ust to me e t fastening with two buttons and loops

, ,

place d near the upper and lower edges The .

ord inary depth is five inches with a wide hem at ,

the top and botto m of an inch and a half dept h

, .

The material being merely a straight piece they

are easy to m ake Fo r the collar the straight all
.
,

round shape turning down over the collar Of the

dress is the most usual I f any other shape is re
.

quired cut it in paper and ma k e it accordi n gly

, ,

w ith the wide he m of on e and a half inch If the - -

.

collar is straight it will be merely ne c essary to

,

turn it down if .rounded a t a l l , it must be cut to

'

the S hape run to the collar at the edge and then

, ,

turn ed do w n Fine cotton and needles and neat

.

”
work are required .

I f an attempt is made to make widows caps at ’

home first procure a good cap for a mo del and

,
'

c opy it as e xactly as pos s ible It mu s t be made .

on a dolly or wooden block of a head or it will ,

never sit w ell .

To preserve widows c aps clean fre sh looking’

,
-
,

and of a good c olour when not in use they S hould ,

be pu t on cap hol d ers on a s hel f in a cu pboard ,

“

-
,
 DU RATI O N O F M O U RNI NG .
99

the long stre a m ers turned up over t he c a p and a ,

piece of b lue paper (thin) laid over them ; so

’

treate d they wil l with c a re last a long while that

, ,

is if there are t w o or three worn i n turn and they ,

are put away in th is manner when not in actual

use.

It may be as well to sum up what I have said .

D uration of mourning W idow s first mourning .

’

lasts for a year and a day S econd mourning cap .

-

left off less crape and silk for nine months (som e
,

curtail it t o six) remaining three months of second

,

year pl ain black Without crape a n d j et orn aments , .

At the end of the second year the mourning can b e ,

put off entirely ; but it is b etter taste to wear half

mourning for at least six months longer ; and as ,

I hav e before mentioned ma n y widows never wea r ,

c olours any more unless for some solitary event ,

such as the wedding of a child when they would ,

probably put it off for th e day Materials

'

D RE S S E S AND M ANTL E s — P a ramatt a B arathea .

, ,

S ilk t rim m ed w it h silk Albert or R ai n p roof Crape

’

.
,

B ONNE TS AND V E IL s — C rape . .

C APS L isse Tulle Tarlatan

.
, , .

C O L L AR S AND C o r n s —
La w n a nd Muslin .

PE TTICOATs B lack stuff or silk quilted

.
—
,
-
.

P OC KE T HANDKE RC HIEFS Cambric black -

.
,

borders .

H OS E Black Balbriggan C ashmere or S ilk

—
, , .

GL O V E S Black kid
.
—
.

Th e mourning for parents ranks next to that of

wid ows ; for chil d ren b y their parents and for ,
1 00 TH E E TI Q U E TTE OF M OU RNI NG .

parents by their children these being of course ,

identical in degree It lasts i n either case t w elve

.

months six months in crape trimmings three in

—
,

plain black and thre e in half mourning ; it is ho w

,

ever b etter taste to continue th e plain black to the

end of the year and Wear half mourning for three
,
-

m onth s longer Material s for fi rst s ix m onths

.
,

either Paramatta B arathea or any of the black

, ,

corded stuffs such as J anus cord w hich is about

, ,

3s 6 d per yard and thirty eight inches wid

-
. .
,

Henrietta cord ab out sa m e pric e and width .

S uch dress es would be tri mmed with two deep

tucks of crape either Al bert or R ainproof would
, ,

be m ade plainly the body trim m ed with crape and

, ,

S leeves with d ee p crape cuffs Collars and c uffs .

to be worn d uri n g the first mourning would be

m ade of m uslin or lawn with three or four ti n y ,

tucks in distinction to widows with the wide deep ’

hem Pocket handkerchiefs Would be bordered

.

with black ; black hose silk or Balbriggan would , ,

be worn and black kid gloves For out door wear

,
.
-
,

either a dolman mantle would be worn or a pa l et d t

'

, ,

either of silk or Paramatta but in eith er case ,

trimmed with crape Crape bonnets or hat s ; if .

for young children all c rape for bonnets hats silk ,

and crape feathers (bla c k) could be w orn and a ,

j et clasp or arro w in th e bonnet but no other kind ,

of j ewellery is admissible but j et that is as long —

,

as crape is worn B la c k furs such as astrachan

.
, ,

may be worn or very dark sealskin or black sea l

, ,

skin cloth now so fashi on able but no light fur s Of ,

 MOU RNI NG FO R PARE NTS . 101

any sort S ilk dresses c a n be worn crape trim med

.
,

after the three first m onths if preferred and if ex ,

.

pense be no obj ec t ; the lawn tu c ke d collars a n d -

c uffs would be worn wi t h them At the en d of the .

s ix months crape can be put aside and plain bla c k , ,

s uch as cashmere worn trimmed with silk if liked

, , ,

but not s atin for th at is not a m ourning materi a l

, ,

and is therefore never worn by those who stri c tly

attend to mourni n g etiq uette With plain bla ck .
,

bla c k gloves and hose would of course be worn ,

and j et no gold or silver j ewellery for at least

,
.

nine months aft er the comm en c ement of mourning ;

th en if the time expires in the twelve m onths grey
, ,

gloves might be worn and grey ribbons lace or , ,

plain linen c ollar and cuffs take the pla c e of the

lawn or muslin and grey feathers might lighten
,

the hat or bonnet or reversible black and grey ,

strings
‘

Many persons think it is in better taste n ot to

commence half mourning u n til after the expiration
-

o f a year except in the c a se of you n g c hildren who

, ,

are rarely kept in mourning b ey ond the twelve

m onths .

A wife would wear ju st the same m ourning for

’
her h usband s relations as for her o w n ; thus if ,

her husband s mother died she would wear mourn

’
,

ing as deep as if for her o w n mother .

For Gra n dpa ren ts the fi rs t m ourning (c rape ) is

'

worn for three m onths ; seco n d mournin g bla c k , ,

without c rape also worn for three months ; and

,

half mourning for three m ore or nine months in

-
,
1 02 TH E ETI
Q U ETTE or M O U RNI NG
'

all The same materia ls are worn Paramatta

.
, ,

B arathea v a riOus c ords with c rape and cashmere ,

,

a n d merino when th e crape is left off .

.

For S is ters or B r others six month s mourning is

’
,

usually worn Crape for three plain black for

. ,

two and half mourning for one month ; the same

,
-

sort of stuffs the crape b eing put on in one deep

,

tuck and two narro w tucks ; bodice crape trimmed ; ,

m antle or dolma n crape trimmed ; bonnet of crap e

,

with feathers or j et hat of silk and Crape V eil of

,
.

hat with crape tuck hose black silk B albriggan or , ,

cashmere handkerchiefs black bordered

, S ilks .

c a n b e worn after the first m onth if trimmed with

crape .

For Un cles Aun ts Nephews or Nieces crape is

, , , ,

not worn b ut plain black wi t h j et for three months

, , .

For Gr ea t Un cles or Aun ts mourning wou ld last ,

two m onths witho ut crape .

For C ous in s (fi rst ) six weeks are considered ,

sufficient three of which would be in half mourni n g

,
-
.

For C ous in s les s closely rela t ed mourning is ,

h ard ly ever put on unles s they have been inmates

of the house .

No invitations would b e accepted before the

fune ral of any relatives c losely enough related to
you to put on mourning for I n the c ase Of .

bro thers sisters pa rents and grandparents society

, , , ,

w ould be given up for at least three months if not

“

more and it would be very bad taste to go to a ball

,

or l a rge fe s tive gathering in crape Widows do .

not enter so c iety for at least a vear that is during —

,
 LE TTERS OF CONDOL E NC E . 1 03

the period of their deepest mournin g With regard .

to cm n ln n en tory mou rning

p as worn by mothers —

for the m othe r or father in l a w of their m arried - -

children bla c k would be worn for six w e eks or so

,

withou t crape ; by second W ives for the parents "

of th e fi rst wife for about three w eeks and in a

, ,

fe w other c ases .

I t is bette r taste to wear mourning in making

t he fi rs t call aft er a bereavement on friends but
'

this is not a decided rule only a grace ful m e tho d

‘

of implying sympathy with those who are su ffering

a ffliction But calls are not made until the cards
.

with than k s for kind inquiries have b ee n sent

in return for the cards left at the time of the decease .

L etters O f condolence should al w ays be writt en on

-

slightly bla c k ed ged paper and it would be kind to

-
,

intimate in t he letter that no answer to it will b e

“

expected Fe w realize the effort it is to those left

.

to sit down and write answers to in quirie s a n d

‘

letters however kind and sympathising they may

,

have been .

S er vemts M our n in g S erva nts are no t usu ally

’
—

put into mourning except for the m embers of the

h ousehold in whi c h they are living n o t for the ,

relative s of their masters and mi stres ses and very ,

frequently only for the heads of the house not for ,

the j unior members .

A best dress of V ictoria cord or alpac a t w o ,

cotton d re s ses bla c k fo r morning wear while at

,

work A cloth jacket in c ase of m aster or mistress

.
, ,

with a sligh t crape tri m ming a S il k a n d cra pe ,

1 04 TI IE ET I Q U E TTE or MO U RNI NG .

bonnet , pair of bl a ck kid g loves and so me yards of ,

bla c k cap ribbon w ould be the m ourning given to

,

the serv a nts in the h ouse at the time of the death

of one of the head s of the establishment and their ,

mo urning would be worn for at l e ast six months,

or eve n a year in som e c ases .

The following is a list of suitable m aterials for

mourning of those relationships I have name d all ,

of which can be obtained at any good mourning

.

establishment .

S il k Crape Paramatta Albert C rape Barathea

, , , ,

Rainproof Crape S ilk Cyprus C rape J anus Cord, , .

,

from 3s 6 d per yard ; V ictoria Cord IS to 2 8 6 d

. .
, . . .

per yard ; B almoral Cloth r s 6 d to 2 5 9 d per ,

. . . .

yard ; Cashm ere Fr a n ga is as 6 d to 8 3 per yard ;

’

. .
, .

Kashgar Cashmere 5 s 9 d to 1 0 s 6 d per yard ; , . . . .

these last are wide materials from 4 4 to 4 7 in c hes .

C rape C loth from IS 6 d per yard looks precisely

,
. .

like crape b ut is m uch lighter and cooler

,
.

For summer wear Drap d ete a mixture of S ilk ’

,

and wool is suitable Barege for dinner d r esses ;

Nu n s veil cloth etc etc
’
, .
, .

Th e best all black washing m aterials are cotton

-
,

satine fou l ardine ; bla c k and white for S lighter

,

m ourning bla c k w ith tiny white spots or sprig s

, .

C hildren S ho u ld be dressed in these black wash

ing materials that is for summ er wear in pre
—
, ,

fe ren c e to the thi cker materials a s for you n g ,

children crape is soon dispensed with

, Neither .

velvet satin nor plush can be worn in m ourning

, ,

tha t is In strict mourning for they are not

,
—
 BUY I NG MO U R NI NG . 105

mourni n g materials Attempts have been ma d e

.

to bring i n some Colours su c h as red or violet and

, ,

consider the m suitable to sli g ht mourning ; bu t the

only colour really admissible for half mourning is -

grey ,or th e palest lave n der grey glove s sewn with

,

black grey a n d black reversible ribbons grey and

, ,

black feathers grey flowers m ixed with black and

, ,

so on .

I n all c ases of mourning it is th e b est plan to

write to some w ell kno wn house for patterns ; good
-

mourning establishments can afford to sell better

materials at cheaper rate s than small inferio r
houses La rge firms have always a good choice
.

O f m aterials for mourning on hand ; and it is reall y

far greater economy to buy good mate rials whe n

going in to m ourning tha n cheap flimsy stuffs
, ,

whi c h give no wear at all ; besides s u c h houses ,

send out books of fashions a n d prices for making

up mourning costumes w hich g ive a good ide a of
,

th e expense to be incurred even if it is not foun d,

ch eape r to purchase and have mourning m ade up

by them .

M ourning has generally to b e purchased hur .

r ie dly and too often a dressmaker get s ca r te bl a n che

,

almost to furnish the m ourning If such is the .

c ase n o Wonder mourning is consid ered expensive

,

for things whi ch are quite unnecessary such as ,

expe n sive crape in th e place of ra in proo f kinds

'

more crape U sed than the degree of mourning

requires and ma ny extravagancies of a like nature
, ,

naturally swell such a b ill i nto one of l a rge pro

10 6 TII E I Q U ETTE
ET OF MOURNI NG
.

portions w he n by a little forethought the n e

,

c es s a ry bla c k could have been pur c hased at a far

more reasonable rate I t is not necessary to have

.

very expensive mourning if our means will not

allow it ; we should learn to suit our requirements
to the state of our purses But we sincerely trust
.

the old c ustom of wearing de c ent mourning for

those taken away from us will never be really
,

discontinued in E ngland for it is one of tho se

,

proofs of ou r home affe c tions whi c h can never be

done away with without a loss of national respect .
 I NV ITATI O NS .

WORDING OF INv ITATIO NS C A RDS OR NOTI - s I NV I TATIO NS

r ER ;

A
FOR B L L S R S
. . VP . R E C E PTI O NS L U NC H E ON PA RTI ES .

I NVI TATI ONS being the preliminary a re a very ,

neces s ary portion in d eed of the art of entertain

ing and their proper wordin g and arra n gem e nt
,

form a to l erably c orrect index of the knowle d ge of

the world of those who s end th e m Formal in .

v it a t ion s are generally c on v ey e d by printed c ards ,

w hi c h c u stom saves an in fi nity of both time and

tr oubl e For dinners the s e are w orded as fol

.

lows
Mr . an d M rs . White
r e ues t
q the hon our o f

C on Ipa n y
/

at Din n er , on

the ih of
’
at o cl ock .

The address sho u ld be i n t he lower left hand -

“
corn e r of the card and the words The favour of
, ,
”
an ans w er is requested in the right hand corner
,
.
-
.
108 I NVI TATI ONS .

NO crest or monogram S hould ever b e placed

upon a card The names of the guests S hould
.

be written formally that is following the form —

,

on the visiting card Thus in inviting for ia .

, ,

“
stan c e ,
V iscount a n d V is c ountess A their .
,

n ames would be so written instead of Lord and ,

Lady A as would b e the c ase in an informa l

.
,

note commen c ing

, D ear Lady A Will you
,

a n d Lord A give us the pleasure

.

S ome people prefer dinner invitations printed

on n otepaper in which cas e the form of words is
,

identi c al with that used on a card In a n y case . ,

an invitation to dinner should al w ays be enclosed

in an envelope even if left by a servant ; th u s
,

d iffering from cards for other entertainm ents ,

whi c h are generally delivered without envelopes ,

unless sent by post and have the address at whi c h ,

they are to be left as , 1 0 0 G rosvenor S quare —

,

—
written at t he ba c k S uch c ards are d iffe r ent .

from dinner invitations ; they have printed under ,

“
t e n ame of the hos t ss on ly
h the words At ‘

e ,
”
home . The date is either printed or written
'

belo w this the address in the left hand corner ;

,
-

and in the right hand corner the form of enter-

t a in m en t either written or printe d the latter ,

b eing the more convenient If t he party be .

m erely an ordinary re c eption this corner is very ,

frequently left blank ; if anything is inserted it is

merely the hour as If the party is not
,

a large one it is usual to put in this corner

, ,

S mall and early This is for the convenienc e

 I NVI TATI O N C AR DS . 1 09

of the guests in order that those w ho have

’

several enga g eme n ts may not leave this party to

the last a n d arrive to find the rooms empty If
, .

“
the entertainment is a musi c al one M usi c , ,

i s printed in the corner ; or else Amateur

” ” ”
music , Glees Mr C orne y Grain, . Com e: ,
”
dies Fra n ca is e s or a n y other form of amusement
,

which may be p rovided If the entertain ment is .

a t hea t r ic a l one and the hour is speci fi ed it is a

, ,

m atter of simple c ourtesy for the guests to arrive

at the time appointed as it is most annoying for,

the artistes whether amateur or professional to

, ,

be interrupted by the noise inseparable fro m th ei r

entran c e .

When the invitation is for a ball Dancing is ,

put in the corner of the c ard and no time is

name d it being understood that in London guests
,

will arrive betwee n eleven and twelve and in the ,

c ountry bet w een ten and eleven Formerly ball .

cards bore all kinds of di fferent descriptions in

the corner su c h as ,
“
The dansant ”
S oiré e ,
”
dansante etc ; but all these have n o w been
, .

“
abandoned in favour of the single word Danc ,
”
A bove the hostess s name is a space where
’
ing .

the guests names are written There should be

’
.

S pace for two line s of writing the father s a n d '

—

S ir
’ “
mother s first the daughters belo w : thus
,
’

, .

”
Charles and L ady B rown on the fi rst lin e ,

The Misses B rown on t he se c ond It shoul d

”
.

H o n bl e . is a word that
”
be remembered that
n e ver under any circumstances whatsoever ou ht
,
g ,
11 0 I NV I TATI O NS .

to appear upon a card Whether visiting or invita ,

tion : th e H on bl e Mrs Green appears simply as

.
. .

“ ”
Mrs Green on her visiting card or in an
.

invitation though the envelope whi c h encloses

,
“
the card is addre ssed to the H on bl e Mrs . .

Green ”
We S pe cially a llude to this as it is a mis
.
,

take very frequently made and one which shows ,

most cle a rly i g norance of social proprieties .

W h en invitation cards are sent w ithout the

let ters upon them it is unnecessary ,

to reply unless the recipient is quite certain t hat

,

it will not be in his or her power to atten d in ,

which case it is courteous to a nswer at once ,

stating the fa ct Rooms will only hold a ce rtain

.

number of peop l e and a hostess naturally wishes

,

to have some i dea of the approximate numbers

she may exp ec t The names of the dau g hters
.

are as w e have already said written on the s a me

, ,

i n vitation card as those of their fa ther and mother ;

but if the sons are invited e a ch of them shoul d ,
.

receive a sep a rate car d Al s o if a s is som etimes .

, ,

though very rarely the case a son and daught er, ,

are invited to dine out at the same time as their

father and mother th e da u ghter s name is in ,
"
’

cl uded in the p a rental invi tation Mr a n d .

Mrs Grey and M iss Grey s company

.
‘

but the ’
—

son receives a sepa ra te card .

When an invitation to any reception mentions

The Misses Brown it is always understoo d
,
.

“
th at however m any sisters there may be out
“

, ,

only two are t o avail them sel ves Of it .

 I NVI TATI O N C ARDS .

\V hen in vi tations to a ball concert or similar , ,

festivity a re is s ue d in t he country it is usual to

x

put at the top S ir Ch arles and L a d y B rown and

,

party . I t is then not necess a ry t o mention the

‘

daughters or to send separate cards to the sons ,

“ ”
as the word party includes them as well as
“

any friends who may b e staying with them It is .

of course necessary that L ady Brown sh ould a ,

fe w days before the entertainment inform her

“

hostess of ho w m any the party wil l c onsist and

“

it i s also advisable to mention them by name .

In fOr m a l note s are rarely used for re c eptions or

any si milar entertainmen ts but for dinn ers they ,

are not uncommon bet w een intimate friends It

"

is al s o c u sto mary to make use of such notes when

the invitation to dinner is a shor t one any time —

under a week .

When luncheon parties are given the invitations ,

are invariably conveye d in informal notes as are ,

any other invi tation s for festivities of a friendly and

i m prom ptu charac ter Cards for garden parties
.

are of the same size as and worded in a S imil a r

,

m anner t o other re c eption c ards onl y that in the

, ,

lin e under the date is printed t he hour 4 to

or whatever other time may be dec ided u pon .

“
I n the right ha n d corner is printed Garden ,
”
party ,
and frequently belo w these word s ,

w eathe r permitting ; which implies that guest s

are not expected to present themselves on a wet ,

da y when a party in a garden is an impossibility

‘

, ,

an d th e h ous e would be quite incap able of con

I1 2 I NV I TATI ONS .

taining the number asked to wander in the ground s .

I n the left hand corner under the a ddress there

-
, ,

is frequently some direction as to the best method

of reaching the spot If t he party is in the out
.

skirts oi L ondon the right bridge to cross and

, ,

very f requently which turning should be taken at

some perplexing point are indicated the nearest , ,

station being also named In the country the .

a r riv a l and departure of the most convenient trains

are mentioned ; and if as is sometimes the case a

, ,

special tra in is provided the ti me of its a rrival ,

a n d departure is clearly set forth .

Afternoon rec eption cards were formerly much

smaller than those used for evening entertainments ;
but it is found so much more convenient to have
only on e sort that they are now frequently sent
,
“ ”
on the larger ones 4 to 7 being printed or
,

written ih the corner of the card together with

'

the entertainment if a n y which is provided For

, , .

small afternoon partie s however the la d y s visiting

, ,
’

“ ”
card , with At home 4 to 7 written on it is ,

very often j udged su ffi c ient As we have said .

,

cards other than dinner invitations are more fre

, ,

quently delivered without envelopes with merely ,

th e house where th ey are to be left written at t he

back There is however no rul e of eti quette
.
, ,
‘

about this : if it is preferred to enclose them in

envelopes it is quite c orrect to do so
, .

Formerly a n o tion prevailed that it w a s incorrect

to send any formal card of invitation or its
ans wer, by post but this idea is now qu ite
,
 tNv tTATtON Bo o k s
'
‘

I13
’ '

e xploded a n d the post is as frequent a mediu m

,

of c irculating invitations as any other We need

(
,

sc ar c ely say that in this case card s must be en

closed in envelopes or that a fancy whi c h possesses

,

some persons that invitations may be sent on post

cards is entirely erroneous The old pro v erb that .
,
“ ”
w hat is wo rth d oing at all is w orth doi n g we l l ,

is a l w a y s w orthy of reme mbrance and it a ppl ie s ,

ve ry particularly to th e business of writing invita

tio n s It is a fatal mistake to attempt what so m e
.

ladies boast of doing to write the cards for a large

—

party from memory without a list The result is

, .

tolerably c e r tai n to b e that s everal friends are

o mi tted and it is a poor com pliment to them to
,

hear after w ards t hat the hostess is s o sorry bu t ,

”
they completely escaped her memory Of c ourse .

this does not apply to a dinner party the numb ers

are small and there is no di ffi c ulty about t he
,

matter b ut in a large re c eption care is requisite

, .

“
Most p e ople who entertain oft e n hav e an ih
”
v it a t ion book separate from their vi s iting one “

, ,

as there are naturally many persons in the latter

who do n o t go out or whom they may n o t c a r e
.

to know more intimately than is invol v ed b y

the mere exchange of cards If su c h an invitation .

book is kept al l that is requisite is to follow its

,

columns accurately pausing at the end of e ac h

,

p a g e to verify the cards w ritten and to be sure ,

that no names h ave been ac c identally o mitted .

If an invitation book is not kept it is easy to ,

make ou t a rough list from the Vi s iti n g book and

-

9
1 14 I NVI TATI ONS
"

w rite from th at verifying the c a rds in t he same

,

m a n ner .

There are three matters in whi c h invitation

w riters cannot be too particular and wh i c h are ,

n g e ct e d with lamentable freq u en cy

'
‘
Fir s t; they .

’
a re n ot suffi c iently c areful in spelling their friends

names and as it is a matter on whi c h al most

,

ev ery one i s t enacious much annoyance is the ,

r e s ul t The fault i s very often c ommitted in the

.

fi rst inst a n c e when c opying the names from the

,

v i s itin g c a rd s into the book bu t whenever it oc c urs

it is both careless and ill bred S econdly ladi es
-
.
,

are often terribly careless in directin g c ards They .

thin k the number is twenty and will not t a ke the ,

trouble to verify the fact ; so the card lies at

t w enty an d the intended recipient who lives at
, ,

forty is irrevo c ably offended at not having been

,

invited Third ly it seems to be almost a point

.
,

of competitio n to see who ca n write most i l legibly .

People seem to fancy that it is a sign of bei n g

very busy ob l ivious of the fact that people who
,

have really an yt hing to do are well aware of the

s aving of both time and trouble e ffected by doing

it well It is not i n the power of every one to

.

w rite an elegant or pretty hand though with care ,

mu c h may be d one in the d ire ction but every one

by t a king trouble ca n write dis tin ctly a n d it is a ,

pos itive impertinen c e to gi v e a c quaintances the

a n n oy a n c e o f d e c iphering a scrawl a s puzz ling a s
'

an E gypt ian hieroglyphic .

 P R E C E D E NC E .

PREC E DE NC E or A R
L DI E S ; PE E S AND PEERES SES ; v v CO N U
; D U K E S AND Duc n e ssn s ; D AU U
G HTE RS O F D KE S , M AR
.

C ILLO R S

QU I S ES A, A A
AND E RL S ; M I L IT RY, N AVA
L , L EG L , AND C L E RIC AL
RA NK .

TH E proper arrangement of the precedence of

guests is a matter very important to a l l h os t e s s e s ‘

‘ ,

as there ar e few points on whi c h people are gener

a l ly so tenacious as being accorded their due
position As a first principle we may remark that
.

in society the preceden c e of ladies is more impo rt

ant than that of gentlemen ; by whi c h we mean
that if at a dinner party it is imp ossible t o send
both ladies and gentlemen down in d u e order of
pre c edence without sending a husband or wife
together or otherwise pairing them undesirably it
, ,

is the ladies order of precedence that must be

’

stri c tly adhered to the gentlemen s being altered to

,
’

suit the circumstances ; it being a l w ays remem

bered that such alteration m ust not affect the fac t
t hat t h e gentleman of highest rank must take the
hostess Another rule and one w hich seem s to
.
,

b e very imperfec t ly u n derstood, is the following

Married ladies and widows are e ntitled to the
s ame rank a m on g st ea c h other a s their h u sbands
116 PR E C E DE NCE .

wou ld respectively have borne bet w een themselves ,

zded such r a n k a r is es r o m a d ig n ity a n d n ot fr om

p v ov f ,

pr ofess zo uz I t sh ould be clearly under

'

a n aj l as or

stood that by rank through dignity alon e and not ,

by profession or office is precedence conferred upon

,
”
a lady .

For this clear utterance on the subj ect we are

indebted to S ir B ernard B urke U lster King at ,
-

Arms and the greatest authority extant on the

,

subject of p receden c e As an exampl e of what is

.

meant : the Archbishop of Canterbu ry takes pr

c ed e n ce of a ll peers save dukes of the Blood Royal
, ,

but his wife has no special pla c e in the scale and ,

a baronet s wife or daughter would take prece d ence

’

of her S imilarly the Lord Chancellor is the

.
'

second peer of the realm but his wife as a peeress

,

(the L ord Chancellor i s invariably created a

pee r) has merely the pre c ed en c e of the date of her
.

husband s cre a tion Also pri v y c ouncillors who

’
.
,

are entitled to the prefix of Right Honourable ,

take rank before the younger sons of viscounts but ,

their wives are not styled Right H onourable ,

neither have they any spe c ial precedence Like .

w ise j udges have a spe c ial precedence taking rank ,

immediately after the younger sons of earls and

the elder sons of b a rons a c c ording to th e court s
,

wherein they preside an d the dates of their crea

,

tions Military and naval men (who in the absence

.

of any social rank are si mp l y esquires ) have various

d egrees of precedence among thems e lves but all ,

these ranks proceeding from an office or professi on

 PR E CE DE NCE
‘

RU L Es o r . r1
7

do not co n fer any preceden ce whatsoever u po n '

thei r wives or childr en B ishops too who as .

, ,

spi ritual peer s take rank i m mediately after the

younger sons of marqui ses in order of consecra tion
(wit h the exception of t he B isho ps of L on d On ,

D urham and W inchester who in t his order tak e

, ,

preceden c e of the 110 rank whatever to

their wives Naturally in a p arty where there i s

.

n o one with any c laim to pre c edence all t he ladies ,

being the wives of esqui res a n d possessi n g n o ,

rank of their own the wife of a bis hop o r of a

, , _

privy coun c illor would have a claim to p re c e d ence

but the daughter of a baronet or even a knight , ,

would take p receden c e of her When a j u d ge is .

knighted his Wife obtains precedence n o t as the ,

wife of a j udge which is an offi ce but as wife of a

, ,

k n ight w hich i s a dig n ity she takes ran k imm e

,

d ia t e l y after the wives of knight s of the m il itary

orders which rank as follows : The B ath , th e
,

S tar of I ndi a and S t M ichael and S t Ge orge In

, . . .

thes e orders th e wives of Knights G rand Cross

S I etc ) take pre c ed e n c e
. .
,
.

of the w iv e s of Knight s Commanders

The only lawyers wh ose rank is a
d ig n ity not a n o ffi c e whose wi v es are c o n sequently
, ,

enti t led to pre c edence taking rank imm ediately

—

aft er the wives of knights a r e serj eants a t l a w by

— - -
,

virtue of a statute of King E dward V I .

Among peers or pee resses of the same rank ,

precedence depe nds on the d ate of cre a t io n T h u s .

an earl w hose pate n t dates from 1 7 6 0 t akes pre a

1 18 PRE C E DE NC E .

of an earl whose p atent is d ated 1 76 1

ce d en ce .

This rule governs all ranks of the peerage and also ,

baronets and knights The inexperi e nced must be .

careful not to confound cour tesy t itles with real

peerages The eldest sons of d ukes marquises
.
, ,
’
and earls are always called b y one of their father s
other titles Th us the eldest son of the Duke of
Athole is M arquis of Tu l l ib a r d in e ; of the Duke of
B uccleuch E arl of D alkeith ; of the Marquis of
,

C onyngham E arl of Mount Charles ; of the

,

Marquis of E xeter Lord Burghley ; of the E arl ,

of Courtown V iscount S tOpfo rd ; of the E arl of

,

C lanwilliam L ord Gilford These are what are

, .

“ ”
termed courtesy titles an d their bearers take ,

rank not as m a rquises earls viscounts or lords , , , ,

but as the eldest sons of dukes marquises and , ,

earls The eldest son of a duke takes rank after

.

m arquises and b efore earls ; the eldest son of a

m arquis after the you n ger sons of dukes of the
Bloo d R oyal and b efore the yo u nger sons of dukes
. ,

and before viscounts the eldest sons of an earl

after viscounts and before the younger sons of
m arquises and bishops ; the eldest son of a vis
count who has no courtesy title but is styled
, ,
’
Honourable after barons and before earls younger
,
’
,

sons the eldest son of a baron also styled Honour ,

able after earls younger sons and before privy

,
’

councillors and judges The precedence of the .

wives is of course the s a me a s that of their

, ,

husbands The you nger sons of dukes and mar

.

uises are lords : Lord Cl a ud Hamilto n , son of t he

q
 c oun r s s v ,

TI TL E S . 11 9

D uke of Abercorn ; L ord Albert S eymour son of ,

the Marquis of Hertfo rd I t is a common error .

am ong those not mtfa zt i n the matter to o mit t he

’

Christian n ame an d say Lo rd H amilton but

, ,
“
n othing can show gre ater ignorance L ord .

”
H amilton would imply either that the person
addre ssed was a peer or the bearer of a c our tesy
title ; L ord C laud expresses clearly the y ou n ger
‘f ”
,

son The you n ger sons of dukes take ran k after

.

the eldest sons of marquises and before viscounts .

the eldest sons of marquises aft er those of earl s

and before bishops ; the eldest sons of earls after
those of viscounts and barons ; the eldest sons of
viscounts after privy co uncillors and j u d ges and ,

before the younger sons of barons ; while the el d est

son s of barons take rank after those of viscounts
and before baronets B aronets take rank in order
.

of their creation a n d a ft e r them follow knights

'

accordi n g to their orders

,
serj eants a t l aw - -
,

masters in c hancery or lu n a cy companio n s of

.

the several orders of k nighthood ; eldest sons of

the younger sons of peers baronets eldest sons ,
’

eldest sons of knights acco rding to their orders ,

b aronets younger sons (their wives following

’

s trictly the same precedence ) esquire s , .

The da u ghters of a house almost al w ays enj oy

the same rank as the ir eld es t brother an d follo w ,

im mediately after his wife D aught ers of d uke s ; .

marqui s es and earls are sty led ladies : Lady

, ,

G eorgiana H amilton Lady E lizabeth Cam pbell

, .

It is a t errible solecis m to omit the C h ris ii m

1 20 PREC E DE NC E .

n ame and say La d y Hamilton or L ady C ampbell

, ,
“
but it is one frequen tly committed t hough L ady ,

C a mpbell ”
would nat u rally imply the wife of
either a peer or a b aronet It i s a very common
'

saying tha t a lady ca n never l ose rank b ut this ,

i s not strictly the case

_
Thus the daughter of a . ,

duke takes precedence of a countess ; but if she

marry a V iscount or a b aron she takes her
‘

. .

husband s rank an d the countess takes precedence

’
,

of her S he only keeps her precedence by marry

.

ing positive rank ; thus the d aughter of a duke ,

"

m arrying the eldest son of a m arquis or of a n earl

retains her own rank and in stead of being V is ,

count and V icou n t e s s A they are styled V icoun t .

,

and L ady Ma ry A Wh en however her husband . , ,

’
succeeds to his father s title and becomes a peer ,

she takes his rank and loses her precedence of

birth If ho w ever the lady is of the sam e rank
.
, , ,

sh e takes the courtesy title as in the case of a ,

’
duke s daughter marrying a duke s eldest son or ’

,
’
a m arquis s daughter marrying a marquis s eldest ’

son O f course a peer s da u ghter marrying either ’

'

.
,

a barone t or an esquire al w ays retains her own ,

rank ; an earl s dau ghter m a rr ied to an es qu1re

’ ‘

ta k es precedence of a bar on es s but her children

‘

‘
,

derive n o pre ceden c e from it unle s s in the rare ,

in stance of her being a peeress in her own right

for as a rule dignities des c end onl y in the male
, ,

lin e The method of addressing a letter to a

.

la d y in her own right as the daughters of the ,

t hree hi ghest ranks of the peerage are terme d , is

 TI TL ES
’
L AD E S I . 1 21

” ”
The L a dy Mary J ones The be i ng placed on ,

a line above th e n am e The d aughters of viscount s .

and barons are H onourables ; i f married letters ,

H on bl e Mrs Wh ite
" "

are add re ssed to the m , . .

,

“ ”
B o u ble being on a line above ; and if u n
.

married Hon bl e M ary G reen

,
”
. Ho n ble , .

G eorgiana Brown ”
I n co mmencing a lett er
.
,

“ " “
they are styled Dear L ady Mary not Lady
, ,

M ary Jones ”
The wife of a ba ron et or of a knight
.

”
i s styled Lady like the wife of a baron ; but i n
,

addressing a letter to t he l atter it is nece ssary to ,

“
put The Lady‘ “
while the prefix The is ”

not used for the wife of a baronet or knight A .

p eer s da u ghter marrie d to a baronet or k night is

’

Lady J ane Black ”

or the Hon bl e Mrs ,
.
. .

B la ck .

When a ge ntleman is created a peer his c h ildre n ,

become Honourables but it in no way a ffects t he ,

denomin ation or the precedence of hi s brothers

and sisters the patent m aking no me n tion of
,

th em but only of his own heirs male When

, .
,

however a peer s (l et us s ay a marquis s ) eldest

,
’ ’

son who is m a rrie d a n d ha s children dies before

, ,

his father when the marquis dies and his gran d

—
,

son succeeds to the title the young peer s sisters ,

’

and younger bro thers are acc orded t he rank of

t he sons a n d d a u ghters of a marquis which would
"

have naturally been theirs had their father lived

to s uccee d in due course but his mother retains ,

simply her husband s courtesy title This case ’

.

applies to all peers ; the r ule is n ot exten d ed to

122 PREC E DE NC E .

baronets A peeress is styled D owager when her

.

son is the actual peer and is married It is only .

the m other of the a c tual peer who is simply

D uchess or M archioness D owager ; if she be his
grandmother that is if there are three peeresses
—
,

of the title s he would be styled E mily Du chess

—
,

J ane V iscountess Dowager Louis a

” “ ”
D owager ,
‘
-
, , ,

Do wager La d y If however the peer who , ,

succeeds her husband is not her son but some ,

“
other relative of the late peer she is styled M a ry ,

“
Mar chioness of Katherine Countess of O , .

In addressing gentlemen who a re sons of peers .

it should be rememb ered that if in the army or navy

the o fficial title preced es the dignity ; thus Cap ,

tain L ord “
Colonel the Hon bl e J ohn T ; . .

bu t if they are in the Church the case is reversed

“
The H o n bl e and Rev Os c ar H ”
. . .

Th ere i s a strange belief entert ained by some

persons that in his own parish a clergyman is
entitled to take precedence of a n y one no matter ,

how much above him in the social scale We .

.

need hardly say tha t this is a misapprehension .

A clergyman ca n c laim no precedence whatever

as su c h In c ases where all the com pan y are on
.

a l evel any distin ction no matter how slight and

, ,

unimportant is gladly seized upon b u t the

, ,

s mallest shadow of so c ial rank is suffi c ient to

exti n guish a n y su c h pretensions I n a cathedral .

town where so c iety is almost exclusively clerical

, ,

of c ourse all the distinctions of cleri c al rank are

min utely observed ; an d so in military naval and .
, , .
 NAVAL AM D M I L I TARY PRE C E DE NC E . 1 23

legal circles the various professio n s have a dis

,

tinct precedence amongst each o ther whi c h it ,

sometimes pleases the m to extend to their wives ,

though thes e la d ies have no claim to it H o w ever .

,

in general society should there be absolutely no

,

prec edence due to any of the la d ies , it would as ,

some one must go first be natural to g ive the

,

precedence to the wife of a general admiral or , ,

Q C who might be present I t should be under

. . .

stood that age has nothing to do with preceden c e ,

and that a y oun g un ma r ried la dy w ou l d ta ke pre

ced en ce of a n mrr zed on e of in f er ior r a n k
'

The arrangement of preceden c e betwe en o ffi cers

of the army and navy is \ ery intri c ate A na v al .

post c a ptain ranks with a co lonel in the army

-
,

but w hen he has served as post c aptain for three -

years he ranks with a major general Naval .

precedenc e recognises admi r als vi c e and r ear ,

admirals post captains c ommanders lieu tenants

, , , .

M ilita ry p1 eced e n ce has g en e1 a l s lie utenant ,

generals maj or generals, colonels lieutenant

,
-
,

colonels maj ors ca ptai ns lieutenants

, , , When .

an ambassador is present he takes precedence of

,

all peers being regarded as the representative of

,

his sovereign H is wife enj oys the same pre

.

ce d e n ce ; but should h e be a widower with a ,

d aughter doin g the honours of his house she is ,

not entitled to the ran k of an ambassad ress but ,

would rank with an E nglish countess I t is .

i mpossible t o give any precise set of rules that will ,

obv iat e doubt in every cas e as special circu m ,

1 24 PRE C E DE NC E .

stances h a ve to b e take n into a c count t he gre atest

—

difficulty occurring where there is po s iti vely no

r ank ; for where there is the rules are c l ear and
,

definite a n d have only to be impli c itly follo w ed

,
.

The only guide in the former case is that afforded

by good sense and good tast e Where these are
'

conspi c uous in a hostes s her guests will not be

,

on the look out for causes of offence knowing as

-
, ,
“ ”
the old phrase has it that n one is meant and
, ,

a little c a re and forethought on t he matter will

generally obviate a n y d i fficulty th at may arise
'
'

from the q u e stion of precedence in t he middle

classe s.
 D I NNE R G I V E R S
-
.

TR U E IIo s r rr Ae
-
'

v ; NU M EER or U
G E STS : O ER E L ABORAI ION V ‘ ‘

A
B AD T S TE o r E x c usEs S TY L E A ND ARR NGEM ENT or TH E ROO M A
TE M PE R T RE ; S I Z E A ND S n A p E o r D I NNER T BLE ; W I TI NG ;
A U -
A A
TH E S I DE BO RD OR DER OE W 1NE S
A .

AN eminent gas ronomist has s a id t

To in vite
a person to your house is to t a ke c harge of his
”
hap pines s as long as h e i s beneath your roof ,

a n d som e small minority of dinner givers not only -

realise th e tru th of the saying but carry out its ,

b e h es t s with perfect success It must b e confessed .

,

however that though dinners are the m ost popular

,

fo rm of enter tainment in Great Brit a in they are as , ,

a ge n eral rule fa r from festive occasions We are

, .
_

said as a nation to take our pleasures sadly an d

, ,

we certainly have very frequently every excuse for

sadness when we are g u ests at a dinner party .

After a few m o m e n t s of j erky co n versation in the

drawing room the guest i s p aired off with som e
-

one whom perhaps he has never seen before ; an d

when the par ty ha s settled down i n to its pre
a rra n ged place he finds himself in a kind of
, _
'

isolation with this perfect stranger for there is a ,

rampart of flowers directly b efore him which effect ,

u a l ly hides every individual at the other side of

'
 1 36 DI NNE R G IV E R S
-
.

the table and the lady on his left has her attention
,

monopolised by the gentleman who brought her

down .

There are two hours before him wherein to

enj oy this cheerful state of things ; to coin word
nothings with whi c h to play at conversation with
his charge who is probably as bored as he ; and
,

to c ombat as he may the depression engendered

by the sombre style of furnit ure consid ered a p
p ro pria t e for dining rooms in our country
-
.

This is the dark side of the pic ture ,but n u

fortunately the commonest .

Now and then ho wever one finds one self a guest

, ,

at a really pleasant dinner party The wines are .

perhaps no better than they are at other houses ,

yet the gentlemen all seem to be hap py The chef .

has proved himself an arti st, but other pe ople have

artists in their kitchens ; and yet the ir dinin g rooms -

are n ever the scene of a pleasan t dinner The .

servants are quiet of foot and cl eft of hand ; so

were the servants at Dash Terra c e last week where ,

we dragged thro ugh the c ourses groaning inwa rd ly , .

W here then lies the secret ? Ah where ? Let

, , ,

us try and find o u t

First then the great source of failure lies in the
, ,

fa ct that dinner par ties are too often c onsidered in

the light of so c ial debts and so long as the hostess
,
”
pays off the c orre c t number of creditors she ,

th inks but little of the happiness of thos e she

assembles round her dinner table Her sense of
'
.

the fitness of things is partially cloud e d by her

.
 M I S TAKE S OF DI NNE R GIV E RS -
.

anxiety to ge t through her li s t of peopl e she has

din ed W i n n people she has called on and mus t as k
-

to d inn e r be c ause they a r e connections of her own

'

family or her husband etc , .

Another great m is t a k e is t o invite too many people .

The olden rule and the gold e n was Never more -

,
”
than the Muses or less than the Graces and
, ,

cer tainly a trio m ay make a most perfect dinner

party The Muses however give us an u n even
.
, ,

numb er ; b ut we are at liberty t o dispense with the

ninth and a pa rty of eight three a t each side of
,
—

th e table is quite t o lerable thou gh n ot to our

—
, ,

thinking so good as six

, .

We have he a rd more than one hostess say

I like to give a l arge dinner party The trouble .

is j ust the sam e for six as for twenty four and w hy -

,

should I have it all d o capo three times when I ,

can m anage it i n one day 7’ Well those hostesses ,

think mu c h more of their own pleasure than that

of their guests ; and wh at result ca n be expe cted
S imply that whi c h ensues : a d ull evening with a ,

number of people furtively yawning and wishi n g for

e l e v e n o cl oc k
’
G eneral conversation is imposs ible
'

when there are twenty four person s at table and-

,
‘
ea c h is virtually d in in g tete d téte with his neighbour — -
,

who very probably is fl ot t he person he would have

.
i

chosen for a din n er duet -

.

At hird and very gr eat error is to give d in n ers

so mu c h b eyond t he usual daily cour s e of things
that the servants are driven o u t of their groo ves ,

the mistress anxi ous and weary a n d the host u h ,

 1 28 DI NNE R -
G IVE RS .

om fortable with a vague sense of fr a u d on his own

‘

pa r t and fear of dis c overy I t is n othing bette r .

than a fr aud to gi ve su c h a dinner It i s acting .

up to an in c ome and a style of living that are not

you r s and it is simply an inj ustice to yo u r g uests
,
O'

to invite them to a dinner so dispropor tioned to

‘

that of every day that fa ilure thre atens each dish

an inj u sti c e to your servan t s to g ive them a tas k
they can perform only by extremely hard work ;
and it i s no less an inj usti c e to yourself Witness .

your weary face and la nguid manner when you ,

ought to b e fresh and ready to attend to and amuse

your guests .

These are the three prin c ipal errors that prevail

with regard to dinner giving and it is n ot di fficult
-
,

to avoid them The lady who kee ps a debit and

.

c redit ac c ount w ith the friends who ask her to

d inner may easily arra n ge with a little care that
, , ,
“ ”
conge n ial people may meet at h er return din
ners The hostess who instead of making one
.
,
”
trouble of it now prefers to give four dinner
,

parties with six guests to giving one with twenty

, ,

four will soon find herself amply repaid by the

,

popula rity of her little dinners and t hepleasant

“

evenings she he r self will spend With twenty s ix .

-

guests t he task of entertaining is simply drud gery

, .

The hostess has no time to get into convers ation

’

w ith any si n gle gue s t H er attention is as it

.
,

we re divided into twenty four portions

,
-
.

Those who give dinners beyond their means or

w hich is qu it e a s bad beyon d the c apacities cf
‘
—
 FU RNI TU RE O F DI NI NG ROO M S -
. 1 29

their h ouse and servants s l o ul d remember t hat ,

a dinner to be enj oyable m e d not be elaborate .

A few simple dishes well cooked a n d daintily

,

served will vvell replace the ambitious men u that

,

cost so mu c h e ffort and anxiety .

B ut dear madam above all things your simple

, , ,
,

dishes must b e unaccompanied by excuses U nle ss .

some unexpected and unavoidable catastrophe

occur nev er apologise to your guests for the
,
'

character or condition of the vian ds you set before

them C onsider your guests before yourself and
.
,

reflect that though it m ay be a relief to you to let _

them know that you are not unaware of these

defects whatever they m ay be yet by apologising
, ,

for them you place those you address in a very

awk w ard position .

W e are every one of us unconsciously affected ,

more or less a ccording to our d iffe rent tempera

,
m

ments by the style and arrangeme nt of any room

,

we ent e r We do not always stop to inquire into

.

the cause of a sudden s ensation of pleasure or an

equally sudden sense of depression either of which ,

m ay be caused by coming into a bright pretty ,

room or a sombre c heerless one B ut whether

, , .

we inquire into it or not the cause is still there ,

and the lesson to be learned from the fact is an

important one to dinner givers I n this bro w n -
.

and grey climate of ours we a r e too apt to make

'

th e insides of our houses rival the dinginess out

side instead of contrasting with it More espe
,
.

cia l ly is th is true of our dini n g rooms which we

-
,

10
I3O DI NNE R G IV E RS
-
.

hang with dark paper and c arpet and furn ish in

,

deep clarets or browns The depth of our d epres

.

sion in the dining room m a y often be estimated by

-

the feeling of relief we experience on emerging

from its g loom and ent ering the light and pretty
drawing room Our spirits rise like mercury on a
-
.

hot day I t is a mi s take to furnish the dini n g

.

room darkly H as anybody ever heard a good

.

reason for so doi n g ? The furniture should be

more substantial than drawi n g room furniture but -

it need not b e less cheerful Ther e is no reason .

why th e paper should not b e such as will light

up well throw up the pi c tures in go od relief an d
, ,

make pretty women and han d some men look their

best against its background I have lately seen . .

a dining room pape re d with pink of an old E n glish

-
-

,
-

pattern with a d ado in crimson and the effect a s

, ,

compared with the old fashioned dark papers is -

,

somethi n g to b e noted Agai n many people .

,

banish white lace curtain s from their dining room -

even in summer and persist in keeping up those

,

of heavy dark material all the year round And

,
.

why ? Because they cling to ancient traditions

of dingy dining rooms w hich originated probably
-
,

in the brain of some ascetic or anchorite who

.
,

thought it was sinful to eat and wou l d not let the ,

dayl ight see him at his m eals The room should .

b e well lighted the c hairs comfortable and the

, ,

temperature a c cording to a very great authority

,

B ril l a t S avarin should be abou t sixty eight de

— -

g rees. The latter is a very important point for ,

 TE M PE RATU RE O F THE DI NI NG .
-
ROO M . I3I .

hostesses are rather prone to have the temp erature

of the dining room too low for com fort They say
- -

.
,
“ ”
The roo m gets very hot during dinne r; and ~

though this is true yet it is a great mistake to s it

,

down shive r ing Ladies in light dresses and

.
,

gentl emen 1n thin coats pe r haps after a lo n g drive,

i n the cold see the d rawing room fi re for ten

,

m inutes a n d a re the n ushe r ed into a chill dining;

,

room W hen the room gets hot their faces and

.
,

hands get hot too but the feet r emain cold ; and
,
'

this i s not a comfortable state of thi n gs besides ,

being bad for th e digestion and consequen tly ,

inj uriou s to the healt h .

Table decoration has a chap ter devoted to it

elsewhere ; but it cannot b e too strongly insiste d
upon that t he ornaments be they plants epergn es —
,
’

Dr fountains should not be of such a height as to

—

intervene b etwe en the face s of those who sit oppo

site each other This is a n error so apparent th a t
.

it is astonishing that it has ever become so com

.

mon I t is in fact universal ; and th e diner out

.
, ,
-

h a s learned to dread th e sight of a plant in a

po t which probably ac c ordin g to the well known
-
, ,

contrariety of things hides from him the v ery face

,

tha t he would l ike best to look at An occa s ional .

gli m pse of the lady s no s e c hin or ear through

’
, , ,

a le afy screen however beaut iful in it s elf is too

, ,

t antalising an occupation to be calculated to pro

m ote digestion .

A v ery wide dinner table i s a fo e to general -

co n v ersation ; the guests are too far a w ay from

I32
. DI NNE R G IV E R S
-
.

’
e ach other The lady at the host s right hand
.

and the m an on the left of the hostess cannot

exchange a word The distance is too great even
.
,

if no intervening intrusive decoration do not i rri

pose an additional obsta c le .

A11 oval table is the ideal table for a dinner

party ; there are no corners so that every one at ,

the table can see every one else without the

slightest trouble A round table is n ot to be
.
~
.

recomm ended and indeed for personal comfort

,

no shape is so convenient as t he square The .

round tabl e recedes from the diner at either hand

in rather an uncomfortab le w ay but though the ,

oval table does so also in a modified manner yet ,

general convenience is to be preferred to that of

the individual when the matter is so trifling .

The w a iting at dinner i s an important point .

" V ell t ra zn e d servants are noiseless prompt and

-
, ,

o n t he w atch to supply the wants of the guests

a lm ost before they become aware of the m them '

se lves . If the d inner be quite d la Russe a quick ,

a n d skilful carver is ne cess ary and as t his is an ,

a cc omplishment in which women very rarely

excel a butler will be found indispensable Many
,
.

pe rsons prefer women to m en as attendants at

t able but this of course depends in great mea
, , ,

sure on the arran g ements of the household .

Two attendants can quite easily wai t upon a

par ty of eight but an invisible coadj utor will be
,

n e c essary t o bring the hot dishes to the door .

The mode u sually adopte d at present i s a kind

 wmr rn c AT TABL E . 1 33

of compromise bet w een the dinne r d In R usse a n d

ou r own former style of placing each di s h up on
the table including vegetables The following
, .

instructions m ay probably be found usefu l in

families where this is the style adopted .

We will suppose that one woman waits and ,

that there are soup fish j oints pudding ch eese , , , , ,

and dessert for dinner When dinner is a n

, .

n oun ce d and all are seated th e waitress shou ld ,

stand at th e head of the table at the left hand ,

-

si de and remove the cover from the soup hand

, ,

ing round a plate of sou p to ea c h person begin ,

ning with th e lad y on the right After that she .

‘

mu st hand round the sherry As each person .

fi nishes the plate must be removed (w ith the

,

spoon in it) and replaced by a clean one ; the

-

soiled plates a re put into the zinc lined bu c k e t -

,

and th e knives forks and spoons into a b ox , ,

similar to the bucket with t w o compartments ,

one for kniv es and the other for silver The soup
,
.

tureen must not be removed till all have finished .

The fish which should b e brought to the door by

,
“

the cook as well as all other dishes is then pla c ed

, ,

on the table The waitress removes the c ove r

.

and hands the plates round as the fi sh is put o n

them taking in the left hand the sauce tureen to
,

sav e t ime After ev e iy one is helped sh e must

. ,

take round th e cruet and sauc es and ho c k if use d ; , ,

if not sherry mu st be taken round again S he then

,
.

pro c eeds to remove the plates A waitress ough t .

always to be on the look out to see who has

 1 34 .
DI NNE R G I V E R S
-
.

fi nished , as a s oiled plate ought never to be le ft

on the table longer than can be avoided Now
.
.

c ames the j oint After removin g the cover each

.
,

one is helped as before the waitress taking either ,

a tureen with gravy or a dish of potatoes in the ,

left han d S he pro c eeds to hand round the v eget

.

ables (whi c h are not placed on the table but on ,

the sideboard ) till all have been helped after

, ,

whi c h the wines must be taken round again ; soiled

plates must again be removed ; and lastly the
j oint before doing whi c h the waitress o ught to
, ,

bring her knife box to the table a n d careful ly lift

-
,

the carving knife and fork and gravy spoon off the
- -

dish in case they should fall off in removing it All

, .

noise or fuss is to b e avoide d and everything done ,

as quick ly and quietly as possible A waitress .

s hould keep a constant watch to see that n o one

is waiting for anythin g The pudding is then .

plac ed on t he table and served in the same way

as the j oint The c heese follows It is gene
. .

rally put on the table the pers on who is helping ,

c ut t in g s o m e in small pie c es on a plate whi ch the ,

Waitress hands round with b is cuits butter cel e ry , , ,

etc After this course everything is taken off the

.
,

table ex c ept the desser t and flo w ers and the side ,

cloths and all crumbs carefully removed A .

dessert plate and glasses a re then put before ea ch

-

pers on and the wine before the gentleman at the

,

head of the table Th e waitress should hand .

r ound two or t hree o f the d essert dishes The _ .

things on the s ide board ought then to be c leared

 S I DEB OARD, WAtr E R s ’
TRAY , a r e . 1 35

away and pl a t e bucket knife box and everyt hing

,
r
,
-
,

of that kind taken out of th e room .

L ayin g the sideboard i s almost as important as

the table It should have a clean white cloth
.

spread on it and everything neatly arranged such

, ,

as c rue t stan d s a lver plent y of kni v es forks and

-
, , , ,

spoon s cheese pl ates dessert plate s corkscre w

,
-
,
-
, ,

and everything that m ay b e required during

dinner If beer sto u t or anything that is drunk
. , ,

out of a tumbler is handed round the waitress ,

should bring the salver in her left hand and sta n d

at th e person s left holding the salver for the
’ “

tumbler to be placed on it and then pouring o ut ,

the stout .

A waiter s tray s hould he in the hall outside

’

t he d ining roo m d oor and all the dishes when , ,

taken ou t of the room sho uld be placed on this , ,

for the cook to carry them downstairs I f pet .

animal s are in the house a n eglect of this p re ,

.

caution will sometimes be attended by disagree

able results as dogs and cat s natu rally i magine
,

th at whatever is placed within their reach is

intended for their sole use and in the absence of , ,

the cook th ey will immedi atel y act u pon the

,

s upposition .

When two parlour m aids wai t at table each-

,

m ust b e told o ff to he r own side of the table .

\V hen t he en tr ees are handed round each of the ,

attendants takes one and having offered the dish

,

to every person on her ow n side of the table she , .

'

exchan g e s the dish she holds for the oth e r en tr ée

1 36 DI NNE R GI V E R S -
.

whi c h her fellow servant has in the mean time

-

been offering to the guests on her side and t akes ,

it to those who have re fused t he firs t Thu s every .

one is waited upon without confusion and Without

any ne c essity for the t wo attendants to pass eac h
other .

Dinner served ci l a R usse is s c arcely feasible in

a ho u sehold where the ser v ants are n ot numerous
and thoroughly well trained When everything .

but dessert i s dispensed from the sideb oard the

"
,

attendants need to be even more a c ti v e and promp t

tha n when the dishes are carved at table : there
is also rather more danger of their g etting in the
way of ea c h other O n the other hand the d in er
.
,

d In R ussa affords immense ad vantages to the easy

fl o w of conversation The host is unen c umbere d
.

by the ne c essity of carving If he be unskilful .

,

this is no slight immunity esp ec i ally as he must

,
'

be aware that bad carving is one form of bad

manners I f a d in er d In R usse be impracticable
.
,

and the host deficient in th e a c c ompli s hment of

c arvi n g he should take less ons from a competent
,

instructor or ever he venture on g iving a dinner

,

party Otherwise he makes his wife as nervous

.

'

as he is himself and his c o n s c io u s n e s s of this

,

in c reases his diffi c ulties .

As for the hostess let her have no dish placed

,

before he r the c ontents of whi c h she is u nable or

,

un willi n g to c arve or dispense herself It is most .

unfair to her n e ig hbo u r t o ask h im t o c arve with

'

'

the dish pla c ed before him most inconveniently

 AS KI NG o u s s r s TO CARV E . 137

turned towards him it is true but in an i m promptu

-
, ,

m anner and surro unded with all kinds of impedi

,

men m in the shape of spoons glasses c ruets etc , , , .

No gue st should ever b e asked to carve anything

'

m ore di fficult than a ham If en tr ées are placed .

on the table instead of being handed r oun d the ,

gues t opposite whom they are placed may easily

dispense them by means of a sp oon a n d fork bu t
the accom plishment of carving is n o w rapidly .

becoming so un necess ary that it is unfair to p re

,
x

suppose pro fi ciency in it on the par t of one s ’

guests What more pitiable obj ect can be i magined

.

tha n a near sighted individual struggling in the

-

dissection of a pair of fowls of whose a n atomy he

is as ignorant as he is of that of a pte rodactyl ?
V ery large chairs a re not comfortable to diners .

L adies fi nd it impossible to move them and it is ,

in convenient to dine with two or t hre e u n n e c e s s a ry

'

inches between one s self and the table Artisti c

’
.

furniture is no doubt charmi n g but the coup d ce zl

'
’
,

of a d inner t able at which th e guests are all

seated on high b acked old fashioned ch a irs of
-
,
-

ca rved oak is suggestive neither of Comfort nor of

,

enj oyment We have dined at such a table and

.
,

though a background of dark oak is most

'

becoming to pretty women the effe c t was gloomy

.

, ,

and the occu pants of the splendid old c hairs looked

u n naturally stiff A pi c ture of a f Family at Dinner
.
‘

”
in the O lden Tim e exhibited recently at the Royal
,

Academy will re c ur t o the minds of some of our

,

readers and these will have no hesitation in agree

,

ing with our view of the subj e c t .

 138 DI NNE R GI V E RS -
.

A little revol ution has taken place i n th e m a t ter

of wine of late years G entleme n o f t he old s chool
.
'

“ ”
s till maintain that a glass of po r t by w hi c h th ey —

mean a b ottle at least is the only pro per thing to

—

d rink after dinner ; but the present generation has

d evelope d and i s c ontinuing to develo p a taste for
'

, ,

c la ret S o much is thi s so that por t is not al w ay s

.

put on the d es sert table now .

The order of the wines used at dinner is as

follows : S herry is served with the soup and fish the ,

servants carryin g t he d ecanter round and asking ,

each person if he or she wishes for it before he

p ours the wine i nto his glass which h e must not ,

quit e fill With t he en tr ées hock m a y be sent round

.

in a similar way With the subs tantial dis hes the

.

champagne goes the round of the table bu t in t he ,

bottle of course The waite r holds a clean n apkin

, .

round the neck of the bottle I n hot w eather ice

‘

.
,

is hand ed round in a glass dish wi th ice tongs

-
, .

At dessert port sherry claret a n d Madeira

, , , ,

are placed on t he table The host passes them .

on filling t he glass of the lady on his right if s he

, ,

wishe s it and the de c a nters make the tour of the

,

table re turning to the host with whom they t e

, ,

main till the ladies have left the room .

If the host and hostess be well bred a n d the ,

ser v ants well trained dinner will be what it ou ght

,

'

to be a n unobtrusive b u t a greeable a cc o m p a n i
—

ment to the c onversation of a par ty of pers on s

met together to e n joy each other s s oc iety Too _
’
.

Often the c onv e rsation d egenerates into a n a cco m

-
 O U R C I V I L I S ATI O N NOT YET m a nn e r . 1 39
p a n im en t of the dinner , but this can only happen
where the g uests are ill assorte d , or w here t hey
m eet simply to enj oy the animal pleasures o f
eating and drinking This latter might appear to
.

be a n impossi bility among cultivated persons in

wha t we cal l our advan c ed stage of civilisation ,

but there are still among us very many in whom

the intellectual fails to preponde rate over the
~

physi c al ; and to these the pleasures of the table

“
eclipse and outshine those of the feast of
quite
'
”
reason and the flow of soul , to whi c h the form e r
should be s ubordinate .
 D I NE R S .

NE C E S S I TY or PU NC TU AL I TY ; C ONV ERS ATI O N NA M E CARDS

BEH A V IO UR
R EC E PTI O N BY THE H OS TES S ; L E or VA U S M A LL TA L K
TH E V o rcn ; PR ONUNC IAI ION ; L E ’ ‘
AV
I NG TH E DI NI NG—ROOM ; D11:
NER Dn Ess .

L e t m e in t r od u ce the top ic b y m en t ion in g t ha t in L on

d o n it is n o t the cus t om t o pu t th e k n ife in t he m ou th —fo r
fea r o f a ccid e n t s; a n
d th a t wh il e th e fork is r e s er v e d for th a t
us e, it is n o t p u t fu r ther in t h a n is n ece s s ary It is s ca r ce l y
“

w o r th m e n t io n in g o n l y it is a s w e ll t o d o a s o th e r pe o pl e d o
. .

Al s o, the s p o on is n o t g en e ra ll y u s e d ov e rha n d , b u t u n d er .

Th is ha s t w o a d v a n ta g e s Y ou g e t a t you r m ou th b e tt er
.

(w hich a ft er a ll is the j
o b ec t )
,
an d yo u s a v e a g o o d d e a l o f
t he a t t it ud e o f O pe n in g o ys t er s o n t he pa r t of t h e i igh t e l bo w .

And e x cu se m y m e n tio n in g th a t s o cie t y a s a b o dy d oe s n o t

t o b e s o s tr ict l y co n s c ie n t io u s in e mp t yin g on e s
’
e x p ect o n e

gl t o t u rn it b ott o m u p w a rd s w it h the r im on o n e s n o se
’
a ss a s .

—
D I C K E NS.
“
Gr e a t E x pecta tio n s .
”

TH E first and great duty of diners is punctuality .

The man or woman who is wilfully and voluntarily

late at a d inner party must be simply c ons cien c e
less The re a re persons who pride them selves on
.

making a pra c ti c e of being the last to arriv e on

su c h o cc asions but w hy they should c ovet this
.

distinction it is not easy to imagine They c aus e .

great annoyance t o their host and hostess w h o ,

are perfectly a w are that a c arefully cooked dinner

 TH E DU TY O F DI NE R S . 141

'

deteriorates with every m om ent that passes after

t he h ou r at w hich it was intended to be served
'

Their de l ay distresses the cook who s e es all her ,

care an d troubl e lost by their late arrival ; an d

they cause the other guests to spend an u n comfort
able qum t d heur e w
'
hile waiting for the m in the
’

drawi n g room W hy should they wi lfully cause

-
.

so much annoyance S imply from an ill bred -

desire Of being conspicuous ; of entering the room

when all ar e there to see ; a n d of making others
wait howe v er unwillingly upon the ir c onvenience
, , .

These are ignoble motives a n d one is unwilli n g to ,

credit on e s fellow creatures with them but it is

’
-
,

useless to ignore disagreeable facts .

While it is totally incompa tible with good ma n

ners to be late the guest should not arrive until a
,

few moments before the time named in th e invita

tion At a d in n er g iven in honour Of some dis
. .

t in g u is he d foreigners in London not long ago th e ,

principal guests arrived an h our before they were

expected The lady of th e house was h aving a
.

cup of tea and resting after her drive before dress

ing a n O peration she was obliged to get through
—

in five m inutes Think of t he we ary hour she

.

spent before her other guests began to arrive

I t is ne c essary c arefully to calculate the distance
to be trav ersed a n d allowing a few minutes fOr
, ,

small d elays to start in good time The subj ect

,
.

of preced ence is fully treated in another chap t er ,

so that we need not enter upon it here ex c ept to ,

remark that if any lady (gentlemen are not s o x

 14 2 DI NE RS .

t enacious upon su c h points ) should find h erself

prece d ed by one who c annot claim such preced
en c e she will pass t he m istake over without re
,

mark and with good hu mour As a general rul e it

"

,
-
.

’
will be found that the more assu red is a la d y s title
to pre c edenc e the less likely is she to insist upon
o r c laim it It is those w ho are not sure of their
.

ground who m ost aggressively assert themselves -

.

E a c h guest should c ontribute to the conversa

tion and aid it as much as possible I t should be .

the ai m of all to make it general and tho ugh those ,

who go down t og ethe r m ay fall back upon each

other o ccasi onally and exchange som e sentence s ,

yet as far as may be th e conversation shoul d not

, ,

be permitted to break up into individual streams .

This is of c ourse ea sier at a small party than at a

large but this has been touched upon i n the
previous chapter .

C ards placed on th e plates of th e guests bear ,

ing their names and indicating where they are to

sit are very Obj ectionable It cannot be pleasant
, .

for a hostes s to see her guests wan d ering about the

room in pair s trying to find out what chairs they
,

are intende d to o c cupy The master of the house

.

enters t he dining room first with the lady of the

-

highest rank and he should direct his guests to

,

their seats as they enter t h e room This involves .

the sligh t trou ble of le arning from his wife the ar .

rangements she has m ade for placing h er guests but ,

the e ffort should certainly be made in their interests .

B ehaviour at the dinner tabl e is an e xcellent

 H I NTS TO DI NE RS . 1 43

test of good breeding No r is a g laring solecism

.

necessary to point out the man or woman unac

customed to dine in goo d society An u nea s y .
”
,

restless manner loud voice or watchful eyes b

, , ,

tray th eir owner immediat ely He i s ill at ease .

and out O f his el ement and not all his efforts can
,

conceal that h e is so H e is afraid of making a

.

mistake of some kind and watches others to see ,

what they do H e is evidently not sure whether

.
t

he ought to say Thank you o r not to the ser

vant who brin gs him what he want s For the .

b enefit of those in a like predica m ent we may give

a few general rules .

E a t slowly Attend to the lady next you in those

.

smal l matters with which the serv a nts have nothing

to do S e e that she has salt ; and if she w ants bread
.
,

ask a servant to get her som e DO not ask her a .

series Of questions ; q uestions are n ever very

civil but at dinne r they are unpardonable if they
,

necessit ate long replies ; L et your n eig h bo u r ha v e

'

time to eat her dinner Take your soup n oi selessly

.
,

and do not be too slow for as the soup t ureen is ,

never rem ove d till th e last guest has finished ,

every one m ay be wait ing for you If you take _

.
.

sherry be ad v ise d and refus e hock bu t never

, ,

drin k an entire glassful of any wine at onc e Never .

u s e a k nife with anything that can be eaten )

equally wel l with a fork Certa inly thank the .

,

serva nt A well bred man does so unconsciously ;

.
-

it is his natural impulse to a cknowledge t he

,

smallest servi ce rendered "

r4 4 DI NE R S .

Women learn more quickly and easily than men

the min utiae of manners They are more Obs erv.

vant of t rifi es and are qui c k to note anything that

,

is n ew to them and to dis c ern its r a zson d élre

’
’
.
,

Also they are more al ive to the fact that there a re

,

some few things to be learned before they s hall

be able to pass muster in so c ial circles that they
know to be composed of individual s above their
own grade There i s little that can be ta u ght
.
,

therefore or t o speak more correctly one half hour

, , ,

passe d in society will teach t h e novice as much a s

‘

half a dozen vol umes like this A few words of .

advice may not however be a miss

, , .

O n entering the drawing room the guest goes up -

to the hostess and receives her greeting before

addressing any one else in the room It is not .

customary to go to a dinner party with more

wrap s or coverings than may conveniently b e left
in the hall so that ea c h guest passes almost direct
,

from her conveyanc e to the drawing room -

.

Th e few moments that elapse before dinner is

annou n ced must be filled in with conversation of
a necessarily trivial kin d but trivial as they m ay
, ,

be the remarks must b e forth c oming To sit in

, .

silence i s to add to the burden of care that nearly

always weighs more or less on the mind of a
ho st ess until the moment that her tale of guests is
complete and the dinner is announced No r must
, .

the j ourney from the drawing room to the dining -

room be made i n chill silen c e B e your partner .

friend or strange r you must find som ething to

,

s ay to him .
 S M AL L TALK. -
145

In nothing is t he ease imparted by the habit O f

living in good S ociety more apparent than in thi s
-

”
v ery small talk which is t o true conversatio n
-
,

as a game at B eggar my neighbour is to c hess .

To be goo d humoured w ithout being familiar ,

playful yet not loud and to suit what you say to

,

the person to whom it is addre ss ed does not come ,

quite naturally t o the pa w en u To be perfectly .

easy with another requires that one shall first be

pe rfectly at ease one se lf and this can s c arc ely b e
,

the case with those who are feeling their way as ,

it we re for t he first tim e in society to which they

,

have been transplanted ; who are painfu lly adj ust

ing t hemselves to their new position in a garden
i n wh ich they have not grown .

B ut so metimes perfectly well bred p e1sons feel

a di fficulty 1n providing the kind of talk that is
necessary for bridging over odd mome nts in s o c iety .

I n The C ax ton s L ord Lytton sh o ws u s t he

“ ”

t w o noble hearted brothers Au s tin and Rolan d

-
, ,

in some such plight They l isten in W

. onder to the
talk about nothing that goes on around them .

“
S O the company fished for minnows said Austin ,
’ ’

a fte 1 w a rd s ; and n ot a word c ould we say about

our pearl fi s heries and coral banks
-
Frequently -
.
,

those who have a gift of small talk get ou a thou .

sand times bette r i n society than those who lack ,

ing it have be ttei hearts a n d c learer heads The

,
.

accompli shment m a y however be cultivated and

, , ,

though it may seem not a p a r t icularly valuabl e

on e it is wor th the trouble of cultivating for it is
, ,

11
146 Dru n k s.

to the manner what good boots an d gloves are to

the toilet very important
—
.

A loud voice is never ple asant in man or w oman ,

but at a dinner party it is parti c ularly disagreeable .

It raises the tone of every v oice in the room and ,

this may be Observed to be a fact though it is the ,

na t ural impulse of the low voiced to sp eak even -

more quietly than usual when a louder voice than

ordina r y atta c ks th e ear S till one must be .
,

heard ; and if a loud voice he a rudene ss and —

there is no doubt that it is a n indistinct mutter —

is almost as obj ectionable .

The voice i s in fact one of the crucial tests of

, ,
'
’
good breeding On e feels th a t one s o pin io n Of a
.

stranger cannot be satisfactorily formed till the

voi c e is heard The glance tells mu c h but the
.
,

v oi c e tells more No r is it the acc ent or the

.

pronun c iation a l one that guide to a conclusion .

These m a y be corre c t enough and yet we say to ,

”
our own minds This man is not a gentleman ;
,
”
This woman is not a lady I t is som ething in .

t h e tone of the voice an d something even in the

,

quality but as impossi ble to define in print as the

,

differenc e between the song of the nighti n gale and

the soft evening note of th e thrush ‘

B ut we have said enough to show the impor t

anc e Of a l o w voi ce and as far as may be a well
, , ,

trained one . O ur advi c e t o a n ew aspirant to

so c ial honours would include a c ourse Of lessons ,

from an elo c utionist ; not be c ause of pronunciation

and a c c ent alone though they are mu ch but for
— —
 HI NTS To L ADI E S . 14 7

t he rea s on that the learning of thes e n ec essaril y

involves a degree of training for the voi c e that
c annot fail to a ct upon it benefi c ially .

To tax unduly the conversational powers of the

gentleman who h a s brought you down to dinner
proves fair l a dy a want of consideration 0 11 your
, ,

par t that may tell unfavo urably on the opinion

formed of you by your probably hungry neighbour .

E nough should b e said to keep the conversational

ball gently rolling and in this case the l a dy may
,

fairly take the lion s share of th e talking but in a

’

quiet gentle way

, .

Well is M iss B la n k as pretty as S he is said to

,
”
be ? we asked a friend th e d a y a fter a dinner
party . Yes she s a handsome girl eno ugh but
,
’

I was glad I had not to take her down to din n er

I heard her aski n g poor Asterisk as many qu estions
as the c ate c hism S he hardly let the poor fellow
.

take his soup If girls c an t eat the mselves they

.
’

might let others have a c han c e .

M en have of c ourse better appetites than

, ,

women and besides they appre ciate good things

, , ,

more ; and naturally questions beg in n ing with ,

Oh do tell me al l about etc and Why is it

,
”
,
.
,

that the Browns are not friends wi th the S miths ? ”

ex c ite their disapprobation s ince they involve long ,

replie s .

After the servants have left the d ining room -

,
’
each lady should be on the wat c h for th e hostess
signal to rise from t h e table We have seen a .

host e ss vainly try for s everal minute s to cat c h the

14 8 DI NE R S .

’
eye of the lady at her husband s right hand who ,

should have been watching for th e signal .

The l adies leave the room in the sam e order as

that in which they entered it I n th e d rawing .

room ea c h should assist in keeping up the c onvers

at ion There is of c ourse the inevitable m usic
.
, ,

afte r the gentlemen and c offee appear an d a kindly ,

host ess will not press any one to p lay or to sing .

w hom s h e perceives to b e unwilling to do so Nor .

,

if she sees a pleasant c onversat ion going on will ,

she interrupt it to ask one of the party to sing .

Again if one of her guests have a particul arly fine

,

voi c e or a very brilliant style of playing she

, .
,

should b e careful not to ask her to sing or to p l ay

too Often and this for another reason than the
,

exerti on involv ed The guest should not have

.

occasion to say to herself They only ask m e on

,
”
a c count of my p l ayin g or my singing and
, ,

mu c h as we like our talents to be ap preciated we ,

all pre fer to he liked for the individuality that lies

behind them m other words for ourselves —
.

I n con c h 8 1 111 a few lines about dress m a y not

,

b e out O f place Gentlemen have no trouble in

.

this regard sinc e th e fashion of dress suits seems

,

to be for the present as fixed a n d unalterable as

the laws of the M edes and Persians which have ,

served u s for a simile so long .

Din ner dresses are very seldom made q uite low .

They are square or heart shaped and are some

-
,

times c ut down in a point a t t h e back as well as '

in front but this is not a style to b e com mended

, .
 DI NNE R DRES S . 1 49

The S le eves are usually tight to the elbow and ,

trimmed with lace and frillings of some transparent

material The gloves are kept on the hands till
.

th e wearer is seated at th e table Lace mittens

.
,

white or black need not be remove d and are n ow

, ,

frequ ently preferred to gloves for these occasions .

D resses made high to the throat are frequen tly

worn at dinner but the material is of course rich
,

and fi ne an d the lace worn with it of good work

,

manship . AS din n er parties are th e p ri n c ipal

form that entertaining takes in E nglan d, 5 due .

regard to the requirements of the toilet i s n ece s

sa ry and i s exacted from both hostess and gu est
, .
 TH E E TI Q U E TT E O F CARD L E A V I NG -
.

m e o r C A RDS ; NU M BE R O F C ARDS To L E AV E ; WORDI NG or

C A R DS AFTER A PA RTY C A RDS B Y PO S T V I S I TI NG BOOKS C A R D
C A S ES
.

A M ONG the many important branches of e tiquette

which it is indispensable to understand distinctly
is that of making calls and of leavin g cards and it ,

seems to b e one on which c onsiderable uncertai n ty

p revails W e shall therefore endeavour to render
.

the matter as clear as we can ; but there may

always of course be some individual circumstan c es
to whic h our directions howeve r minute may
, ,

p ossibly not apply .

To begin with the cards themselves There is .

a usual size for ladie s card s which all stationers

’

know and it is affe cted a n d in bad taste to have

,

them of any other size the same may b e s a id of

gentlemen s cards whi c h are smaller than those
’

used by ladies They may be either thick or thin

.
,

according to taste but the fashion of enamelled

,

cards is quite out of date The printing should be

.

neat and plain without e ither flourishes o r m e d iaev a l

,

letters The lady s name may either be printed

.
’

a lon e o n her car d or , a s is n o w most fre quentl y

,
 TH E U S E O F C ARD S ;

the case her husband s may accompany it ; a s ’

,
”
Mr and Mrs Frederick S mith
. . S ir J ohn and ,

L ady Brown When there are grown u p daughters

”
.
-
,

their names a re printed on their mothe r s car d : ’

i s n ot u sual fo r you n g ladies to have ca r ds of thei r

own When more than one daughter 8 name ha s
.
’

to b e put on the ca r d it may be d one eithe r by

,

putting The Misses S mith or the names may

“
,

be placed one b elo w the other thus Miss B rown , ,

Miss Angelina B rown M iss R osa n ro n d B rown ,

”
.

W hen there is n o mother and the young ladies ,

are grown up their father s name should pre c ede

,
’

theirs on t he card TO omit the Miss and pu t

.
,

“ “
on the c ards simply E mily S mith Ca roline ,
”

”
J ones is absolutely unheard of in good so c iety
,
.

A similar pra c ti c e is also incorrect for gentlemen ,

thoug h we have occasiona l ly seen the cards Of

'

boy s who knew no better so printed .

Card s m ay b e left in t w o ways E ither a l a dy .

C alls on another and asks if Sh e is at home and if

, ,

she 1s not leaves cards to denote that she has called ;

,

or n ot being so intimate she merely leave s

, ,

cards without i n quiring whether the lady is at home

or not I n either c ase the n u m ber o f cards left is
.

the same If the lady called on have a husband

. ,

but no daughters introduced the lady calling leaves

'
,

one of her ow n cards for the lady of the house and ,

two of her husband s one for the lady and the ’

—

other for th e gentleman unless her o w n n am e and —

h er husband s are a s we have mentioned on one

’
, ,

card , i n wh ich case s he only leaves one of his

15 2 TH E E TI Q U E TTE OF C ARD- L E AV I NG .
.

se parate cards for the master O f the house If .

,

however t here are grown u p d aughters another of

-
,

the l a dy s cards should b e left for them S ome .

perso ns instead of leaving this second card turn

, ,

down either a corner or a side of the card b ut the ,

second card is the better m ethod more especially ,

as the turning down of the side or the c orner has

another signifi c ation namely to show that th e
, ,

c aller has l eft the c ard in pers o n not sent it by —

a serv ant If the l a dy c a ll e d upon has no husband

.
,

but lives alone only one card of th e la d y s and one

,
’

of the gentleman s is left or one of the j oint cards

’
, .

If a l ady calling fi nds the lady called upon at

home she should not give her card to the servant
, ,

bu t merely give her name and allow the dom e s tic,

to announc e her We emphasise this as constant

.
,

blunders are made on the s ubj ect a n d nothing

_ ,
'

sh ows more plainly an utter ignoranc e of eti quette .

The only time when it is permissible to send up a

card is when calling on a stranger on business such ,

as asking the character of a servant : it has then

some convenience as it enables the lady to see the
,

inquirer alone an d t o dispose Of the r equisite

,

business at once S ome ladies persist in giv ing

.

their c ard to the serv a nt even when they are

admitte d but a well trained domestic always lays
,
-

them on one side and merely announces the

,

name .

When a lad y has paid her V isit she shoul d on , ,

leaving leave two of her hu sband s ca rds if the

,
’

lady on whom she ha s call ed is m arried on e if s he —

 “ORDI NG
’
O F C ARDS ._ 153

is not If the ge n tleman ac c ompany his wife to

.

pay a V isit and find the lady of the house at home

, ,

h e should leave his card for the master ; but this

is of course unnecessary if the master be also
visible .

The card s should always hea r the full and cere

m on iou s title : thus the Countess of H awthorn , ,

though called L a dy H awthorn in convers ation has ,

”
Countess Of H awthorn printed on her card a
c lergyman though s oken to a n d o as Mr S urplice
p , f .
,

has Rev Alban S urpli c e on his card ; a general

.

Offi cer who is knigh t of an order has L ieutenant

G ene ral S ir j a mes S wordknot the lieutenant ,

general bein g on a lin e above the S ir J am es ”

.

It rs however most in co r r ect to put as we once

, ,
“ ” ”
saw done H on Mrs A on a card : Mrs A
, . . . . .

is the proper mode Also i t is wrong for a baronet .

”
to put B art after his name alth ough a letter
. .
,

would Of course b e so addre s sed to him for a

knight to put _
or any su c h
letters altho ugh they too w ould be in their proper
,

place on an envel o pe ; or for a member of parliament

to pu t
Also ladies should re member that they cannot
’
avail themselves of any Of their husband s titles '

u nless they procee d not from an oflice but from a , ,

d ig n ity such a s a pee r age courtesy title baronet c y

’

, , , ,

or knighthood and tha t therefore it i s a sol ecism

,

in etiquette to put on their c ards M rs General , .

A .
,
M rs Admiral B . Mrs C olonel C Th e .
,
. .

n el s w iv es a re s imply
’
ener l s dm
'
iral s and colo ’ ‘

g a a , ,
1
54 TH E E TI Q U E TTE OF CARD L E AVI NG -
.

Mrs A Mrs B and Mrs C and are entitled to

. .
, . .
,
. .
,

neither prefix nor precedence although t he latter ,

is occasionally ac c orded them b y courtesy .

Cards must always be left after a pa rty having

taken place at a house when the lady has been
invited If the enter tainment has been a dinner
.
,

a n d she is not very intimate with the hostess cards ,

should be left the next day merely left without —

,

inquiring if the lady is at home if she is intimate ,

a ca ll within ten d a ys will su ffice After a ball .

,

concert reception or afternoon reception cards

, , ,

shoul d be left either the ens uing day or certainly

, ,

within the week ; and this applies whether the

i nvitation has been accepted or not Of course .

in c ountry neighb ourhoods such regularity of

etiquette is impossible and is not expected but a ,

visi t should be paid within a reason able time after

any entertainment .

One rule must always be kept in mind that ,

un d er n o cir cums ta n ces w ha tsoev er can visiting cards

be sent by post they m ust either b e left sent by ,

a servant or let alone

, .

When a lady wishes to call and inquire fo r

another who is ill s he leaves cards as usual (her
,

o w n and her husband s ) writing To inquire on ’

her own card If however the in quiry be on the

.
, ,

bir th of a baby th e husband s cards are not left

,
’
.

When the lady recovers she generally has card s

printed M rs A returns thanks for
°
.
”
.here
follo w s a blank where the inquirer s name is
,
’

“ ”
writ t en kin d in qui rie s The same for m of .
 FI RS T v rs r r s
‘

'

card is used to retur n than ks for cards of co n d o l e n ce

-

left on the occurrence of a d eath in a f a m ily and ,

cards should not be sent out until the invalid or

the mourner desires t o int imate that she is w il l rn g
to receive h er friends w hen they call wh ich those ,

well acquainte d will generally do at their earliest

“
conveni ence afte r receiving o ne of the return
thanks cards which are al w ays sent by post
, .

First visits that i s to say visits commencing

, ,

an acquainta nce are always paid by the pers on

,
‘

of highest ra nk or social consideration and it is a ,

solecism in etiquette for the lower to make the

first move the exception to this being in t he
,
'

country where old residents call first on a n e w

,

comer A first visit in London especially is usually

.
, ,

accomplished by merely leaving cards and when ,

such is the case it should be returned in similar

fashion the ensuing day If however a ca l l is .
, ,

really made that is if the lady c omes in two

, , ,

days may be allowed t o elapse b efore returning it .

I n ordinary visiting a c all should be return ed

w ithrn abo ut th ree weeks cards within a fortnight ,
.

One call in a s eason or on e in the befo r e E aster

,
-
,

and the other in the after E aster season is the -

,

average for acquaintan c es Of course friends see .

ea c h other acc o rding to circumstances and their

mutual wishes .

I n the country where d istan c es are greater

, ,

visits cannot of c ourse be so promptly returne d ,

but care should always b e taken to return a firs t

on e as soon as is pos s ible ,
 15 6 THE E TI Q U E TTE or C ARD L E AVI NG -
.

Great care i s n ec e s s ary in not n eglecting t o -

return c ards and visit s as su c h neglect is apt to ,

o ffend those who are forgotten Any one who has .

a moderately large visiting acquaintance will find

it quite necessary to its proper management to
h ave t w o v isiting books alph abetically arranged , .

In the one shou l d be w ritten the name s of those

'

visited their town and country addresses ; thus

,

Adams M r and H on Mrs 9 0 B elgrave

,
. .
, ,
”
S quare ; O a k H all B a n ch e s t er , .

“
Allen S ir I and Lady 5 0 o Gros v en or Ga rd en s ;
, .
, ,

El m Park E xeter , .

Those friends who only take town houses for

t he season should not have their town addresses
written in ink bu t in pencil as the regular visiting
, ,

book lasts for many years and the c hanging ,

addresses can b e rubbed out an d rene w ed year by

year .

The other book is a sor t of rough copy and ,

addresses are seldom written in it The names are .

written down th e left han d side of the page and -

,

the rest of the pag e divided into two columns in ,

w hi c h the lady marks the dates of the cards she

lea v es or that are left u pon her This should be
, .

done every a fternoon on c oming in and direction s ,

should also be given to the servant to s e p a ra t e t hose

c a rds which w e re l e ft witho u t inquiry from tho s e ,

which were left by p ersons wh o inquire d if the lady

was at home so that on returning the visit she
,

m a y know whether to c all or merely to lea ve a

card In large establi shment s th e hall port er
.
-
 V I S I TI NG B OO KS . 15 7

keeps the book Writing down every c ard as it is

,

left under the proper d ate ; but in ordinary house

holds the two books to which we have refer red will
prove quite su ffi cient and a glance down t he ,

columns of the dated c opy will at on c e show a

lady what calls or ca 1 ds she owes The h abit of .

ke eping the books carefully rs easily a c qui r e d take s ,

little time and h a s the adv a ntage of dispensing

,

with the necessity of keeping the c ard s left : no

sligh t a d v a n t a g e when as is fre quently t he ca se
‘

, ,

a lady has m any hundreds of names on he r v is itin g

'

list Care should be taken to enter the name of

.

ea c h n e w a c quaintan c e in its corre c t alphabetical

position as soon as card s h ave been exchanged ,

and also at onc e to c ross out the nam e of any

de c eased ac quaintance so as to avoid confusi on,

and keep the list al w ays correc t The more .

immediately these small details are attended t o

the less trouble they are and the more corre c t and ,

useful is the list.

It is inco rre ct to use on a card su c h terms as
senior or j unior : as M r J ones or Mrs .
,
.

”
S mith j un ,
To disti n guish b etween members
.

of the family the Christian name m us t be used or ,

if two members unfortunately have the same they ,

probably have a second whi c h m a y be use d as a

'

,
”
distin ction : as Mr H enry S mith . M r Henry , .

Alfred S mith ; or if both have only the same

“ ”
name one may be Mr Henry and the other
, .

“
M r H S mith
. . .

You n g men have c ard s of their own when about

15 8 TI113 B r rou n r r n OF m an -
Le mm e .

eighteen or nineteen It is well to impress upon

.

t hem early the necessity of leaving c ards on t h ose

who are so kind as t o invite them fi rs t as a matter
'

of posit ive civility and also because if they do not

, ,

do so they will lose many pleasant invitations

, .

The old fash ioned ladies card case s containing

-
’
-

but three or four cards are of n o use to any on e

possessing a larg e a c quaintance Many ladies.

t ake packets of cards out loose in a basket when

driving ; others have a large leather case capable
o f holding about fifty of their own cards and a ,

hun d red of their husbands ; while s ome h ave a

’ '

conveni ent case containing room for cards any ,

n otes that may require to be left and a slate for ,

writing down wh at is wa n ted during t he d rive .

This saves an immense amount of time as then ,

writte n down visits can b e arran ge d so as to obvia te

-

the ne cessity of going over the same ground twice ,

and it also prevents the danger of forgettin g what

'

s wished to be done .
 P R E S E NTATI O N AT C O U RT .

A A
ETi Q Un TTE o r PRE S E NT TI O NS ; B a ro n s ; PR E S E NT TI ON C RDS A
a rt e s U A
Ti re C E RE MO NY ; C O R T DRE SS ; S T TE L rvn n ms ; S ER
VA '
NTS BO Q ETS U U .

A FE W words respecting t he etiquette of this im

portant ceremony may not be unwelcome M any .

person s de c lin e to be presented on the g rounds

either that they do not live in London or else that ,

they are not in s u ch a positi on as ever likely t o

be invited to c ourt festivities They are however .
, ,

sometimes both surprised and disappointed to fi n d

when they go abroad that n on presentation at their -

own court p revents their receiving invitations to

any other .

A y oung lady is presented on her first coming

out and in the fashionable world does n ot attend
,

any balls or large partie s until this cere mony has

-

been g one through S he is presented by h e r

.

mother or if sh e should not have one by some

, , ,

near relative A bride is presente d on her mar

.

r ia g e a n d the ceremony should

, if possible be
performed by some near relative of her husb and s ’

it is etiquette that his family rather than her own

s hould prese n t the bride If ho w eve r no one of
.
, ,
16 0 PRE S E NTATI O N Ar
'

c o v a r.

his relations is for any reason availabl e one of ,

he r o w n relations will do . Thes e remarks appl y

'

to other married ladies who are presented though —

the matter is not so important in their c ase as

in that of a bride whose presentation is a sort of
,

o ffi c ial re c ognition by her husband s family a n y ’

—

relative or frien d w ho may happen to be going c a n

present them It is now an imperative rule that
a la d y m
.

ust attend the s ame drawi n g room as the -

l ady whom she presents though it is by no means ,

nece s sary that they should g o together ; indeed ,

as a matter of fact they very often do not even see

,

ea c h ot her in t he c rowd .

When a l a dy w is hes to be presented her fi rst

'

c ourse is to fi nd a friend who is going and who

will consent to present her The next step is to .

pro c ure a large blank c ard and to Write legibly ,

up on it her own name and that of the lady who _

“
presents her thus , Mrs Percy presented by
'
.
,

Lady W hite ; or “
Mrs Charles G rey on her
, .
,
”
m arriage , by her mother in law Mrs G rey ; - -
, .

M iss Ali c e B lank by her mother Mrs B lank ;

, , .

”
by her sister Mrs Howard ; or by her aunt
, .
, ,
”
Lady S tair as the c a s e m a y be This c ard must
, .

be left in the Lord Chamb erlain s o ffi c e in S t ’

.

J ames s Pala c e a few days (two c lear days is the

’
.

s hor tes t time a dmissible ) before the drawing room -

,

and must be a c companied by a n ote from the lady

who is to present her stating her intent ion of ,

being present at that parti c ular drawing room and -

,

of presenting the lady named The nam es a r e .

 FO R M AL I TI E S o r A L E VEE . 16 1

submitted for her Maj esty s approval and on sen d ’

,

in g to the offi ce two days later the lady can obtain

-

“ ”
t wo presentation o r pin k cards on which she ,

must w rite legi bly exactly the same words as those

on the former card These cards she must take.

with her to the palace one being left with the ,

page in waiting at the top of the grand st aircase ;

- -

the other is taken by an o fficial at the door of t he

presen c e chamber and passed to the Lord Cham
-

b e r l a in who reads the name to her Maj esty

, A .

lady who h as been presented b efore a nd who is ,

not about to present any one else does not com ,

m un ic a t e her intention of attending the drawing

room to the Chamberlai n s offi ce S he merely
’
.

goes to court t aking with her two large cards with

,

her name legibly written on them There is a .

table in the corridor where both plain and pres ent

ation card s can b e obtained a n d written ; but it is
always better to take them instead of leaving the m
to t he l a s t
‘

The formaliti es attending a g entl eman s pre ’

s e n t a t ion at a lev é e are precisely s imilar to those

requisite for that of a lady at a drawing room -

.

People are presented again on any change of offi c e

—
a n offi c er for instance as he obtains each suc
, ,

ce s s iv e step in rank but on e presentation su ffi ces

for his wife as she remains Mrs J ones whether
, .
,

he be c aptain colonel or maj or general If how

, ,
-
.
,

ever M r Jone s assumes the name of Brown or

,
. ,

adds it to his own a n d becomes Mr B rown J ones .

-
,

both he a n d his wife must b e again presented .

12
16 2 PRE S E NTATI O N AT C O U RT .

So whe n a peer succeeds his father h e is re pre -

“ ”
sented on accession to the title and his wife ,

and daughters are likewise again presented .

The fi rst persons who pass before her Maj esty

at a drawing room are the corps diploma tique and
-

those persons (members of the government royal ,

households etc with their wives and daughters )

, .
,

who have the privilege of th e en tree ; and after

they have passed the general company are a d
,

m it t e d The doors of the palace are opened at

.

two o clock and the Queen enters the throne room

’
,
-

at three As the ladies arrive they fill the vario us

.

rooms , whi c h are provided with chairs placed in

rows ; and there are barriers at each doorway ,

whi ch are closed in succession as each room is

filled and guarded by two of the gentlemen a t
,
-
-

arms As each room is emptied by its occupants

.

passing before the Queen and d e fi l in g into the ,

'

corridor the barrier is opened and those in the

, ,

next room are admitted At the door of the .

picture gallery the train is removed from its

-

wearer s arm by the attendants in waiting and

’ ,

the lady passes across the gallery with her train

flowing at full length to the door of the throne
room where her c ard is taken by an official and
,

handed to the Lord Chamberlain who announces ,

the name to the Q ueen .

If t he lady is to be presente d she must have

her right hand ungloved and as she bends before ,

the Q ueen she extends her hand pa lm d own wa r ds ;

the Q ueen places her hand upon it the lady ,
“

.
 PR E S E NTATI ON DRE S S E S . 16 3

touches the royal hand with her lips and the ,

p resentation is over ; the lady passes on cu rtsey ,

ing to those m embers of the royal family present .

When she has don e so an o ffi cial replaces h e r train

‘
'

on her arm and she leaves the throne room The

,
-
.

Princess of Wales stands next to t he Que en a n d ,

then c ome the princesses in due order : Princes s

Christian Prin c ess Louise Princess B eatric e the
, , ,

D uchess of E dinburgh the D uchess of T e c k and

'

, ,

then the Prin c e of W ales an d the other Princes in

due succession It is very s eldom however that
.
, ,

all the members of the royal family are present

.

but a curtsey must be made to each member who

is When her Maj esty is fatigued and retires the
.
,

rest of the company are received by the Princess

of Wales and the ceremony of han d k is s in g is
,
-

omitted ; as is a l s o the c as e with gentlemen when

a lev é e is held by the Prince of Wales on behalf
of the Q ueen H er M aj est y salute s peeresses and
.

d aughters of peers on the cheek at the tim e o f

their presentation in lieu of their kissin g her
, ,

hand .

The questi on of dress is an important matter at

a drawing room O nly full dress (l ow bodice and
-
.

short Sleeves ) is adm is sible and those ladies wh o ,

from ill health are com pelled to wear high dresses

-

are require d ea ch y ear to obtain a certificate of

necessity from their medical man which must be ,

forwarded to the Lord C hamberlain s offi ce when ’

a permissive authorisation will be given A court .

t rain is also rte r igueur a n d should be from t hre e

.

,
16 4 PRE S E NTATI ON AT CO U RT .

to four yard s long according to the height of t he ,

wearer . E xce pt a t the m oment of passing th e

r

Q ueen it is carried over the arm carefully folded

, , ,

the end hanging outwards The other i mperative .

portions of a court costume are the plume a n d

lappets There has b een a great inclination lat
.
“

t e rl y to wear coloured feathers but these , though

pretty and b ecoming are not strictly court dress , ,

and are regarded unfavourably in high quarters .

The white plume is correct and may be arranged ,

according to taste it is generally arranged on the

left side an d the lappets on the right
, Those .

ladies who p ossess lappets will find them much

more graceful and becoming than a tulle veil ,
though t he l a tt er is quite correct , and may be
'

worn if preferred The hair may be arranged .

according to taste and flowers ribbons or j ewels

, , ,
“
worn in it or not as liked The bouquet is not , .

incorrect but is by no means necessary and very

,

much in the way as the handkerchief fan cards

, , , ,

and right hand glove if a present ation fill the

-
, ,

hands suffi c iently .

G entlemen do not attend drawing rooms unless -

they wish t o attend t he ladies of their family and ,

even then they rarely pass the Queen (though they

may do so and are even occasionally presented)
,
‘

turn i n g off from the last waiting room i n to the -

pi c ture gallery and there aw aiting the ladies

-
, .

They are really however of no assistance as the

, , ,

c a rriages a re not called but com e up in rotation , ,

n d the names a s they come up are called out by

 NU M B E R OF DRAW I NG -
ROOM S . 16 5

the royal servants There are generally three

.

drawing rooms every s e a s on r on e before and two

-

after E aster and her M aj esty also holds a

,
“ ”
court generally before the fi rst drawing room
,
-

but to this cour t no one can go who does not

receive a royal command to do so and tha t is ,

reserved principally for diplomatic and o ffi cial p er

“ ”
s on a g e s Formerly a birthday drawing room
.
-

was held each season at which no presen tations

,

could take place and to which no one could go in

.

mourning ; but since the death of t he Prince

Consort this has been abandoned Ladies are not .

expected to attend more than one drawing room in -

the season as the numbers naturally increase eve ry

,

year.

Those persons who h a Ve very handsome car

“ ”
r iag es and what are termed state liveries
always use them on these occasions and in su c h ,

a case it is very usual to pr ovide c oa c hmen and

footmen with large bouquets to be worn in t h e
bosom but with an ordinary equipage this is quite
unn ecessary and with a shabby one a bsolutely
,

ridiculous .
 M O D E S O F AD D R E S S I NG L E TTE R S .

L ETTE RS TO THE Q U EE N To THE PR I NC E A ND PR I NC ES S or

WAL E S ; To R EL ATI V E S o r TH E Q U EEN ; IO DU K E S DU C HE SS E S
' ‘

, ,

M AR Q U I S E S E A RL S C O U NTESS ES ETC ; TO U DGES M E M BE RS

, , , E Tc .
,
J .

V
o r TH E PR I Y C O U NC I L ; C L E RGYM E N
E TC , .

IT form s no insignifi cant part of the knowledge

requisite for one s condu c t in good socie ty to be
’

.
,

perfectly informed as to the c orre c t mode of .

addres sing beginning and ending letters to per

,
-

sons in various ranks of life To a hostess who ,

.
,

is constantly sending out invitations su c h kno w ,

le d ge is absolutely n ecessary and we therefore ,

append the ordinary rules for guidance in such .

m atters .

L etters for h er M aj esty the Queen are sent

under c over either to the Prime M inister or to
, ,

whomsoever has charge for the time being of her

Maj esty s private c orres pondence Th e en c losure
’
.

”
is directed To her Maj esty the Queen
,
Offi c ial .

communi c ations are ordinari ly addressed To the ,

Q ueen s most excellent Maj es ty

’
Letters to the .

“ “ ”
Q ueen should be commenced Madam or Most , ,
” “
gracious S overeign or May it please your
,

Maj esty according to the nature of the com

,

m u n ica t ion and should be conclude d I have the ,

 L E TTE RS TO THE ROY AL FAMILY . 1 67

honour t o remain with t he profoundes t respect

, ,

ma d am your Maj e sty s most faithfu l and dutiful

,
’

subj ect .

L etters for the Prince a n d Prince s s of Wales

s hould be sen t under cover to L ie u t C ol Knollys . . .
,

an d the enclosure dire c te d to His Royal High

ness the Princ eof Wales or Her Royal Hi gh ,
”
,

ness the Princess of Wales ”

.

.
The sons and da u ghter s brothers and sisters , ,

and uncles and aunts of the Q ueen are a ll ad ,

d ressed as Royal H ighness , bu t her Maj esty s ” ’

n ephews and cousins are addresse d si m ply as

”
Your H ighne s s .

L etters to members of the Royal Family should

“ ” ”
begin S ir
, or M adam and end
, I h ave the , ,

h onour to remai n sir (or madam ) your Ro ya l , ,

Highness s most dutiful a n d most obedient ser

’

”
vant .

A letter t o a duke or duchess not members ,

of t he R oyal Fam ily should be addressed “

To , ,

H is G ra c e the D uke of ,
To H er Grace ,

th e Duchess of It should begin wi t h

My Lor d D uke ; but a duchess in c om m on ,

with all other la dies from the Q ueen downwards , ,

“ ”
is addressed as M adam .

I n writing to a marquis address th e letter , ,

To th e M o s t H on the Marquis of
‘

and.

“
to a marchioness To the Most Hon t he M ar , .

"
chion e s s of B egin My Lord Marquis , .

I n writi n g to an ea rl or countess addres s

, , ,
“
To the Right Hon the E arl (or Cou n t es s) .
 M ODE S o r ADDRES S I NG L E TTE R S .

of B egin le tters to earls viscounts or , ,

barons with My L ord

, A letter to a V is c ount .

“
or viscountess should be addressed To the ,

R ight Hon the V iscount (or Lady V i scountess )

.

A letter to a baron should be addressed ,

”
To th e R ight Ho n .

The younger sons of earls and all the sons of ,

vi sc ounts and b arons are addressed The Hon “

, , .

”
E squire ; and t he daughters and sons ’
,
“
wives The Hon Mrs
, or Miss
. .

”
L etters should begin S ir or Madam , , .

“
If addressing a mba ssadors begin My Lord , , ,

and use the title Your E xcellen cy throughout

, , ,
”
wherever the pronoun you would ordinarily be
used The same title is used in addressing the
.

Lord Lieutenant of I reland and the Governor of

-
,

We stern Australia The Governor General of

.
-

Canada and the Governor of Dover Castle are

”
addressed as Right Honourable .

“
. A letter to a baronet is addressed to S ir
Wil liam Bart one to a knight . S ir ,

Wil liam B egin lett ers to baronets knights , ,

“ ” ”
or their wives S ir ,or Madam ex c ept of , , ,

c ourse in cases where acq u aintan c eship exists

, ,

when fo rmality ceases and letters a re beg u n , ,

Dear S ir William D ear Lady

“ ”
Thou g h the word E squire means in these ,

days little or nothing yet it i s considered more

, ,

polite when addressing perso n s of position to

, ,

Write the word in full In addressing a French

'

g entleman , also it is impolite to use the ini tial of

,
 ADDR E SS E S o r L E TTE R S ,
. 16 9

Monsieur only The word must be written in

.

full and it is very frequently written twice thus

, ,

M onsieur .

Monsieu r
J udges are addressed as Right Honourable s
.

In addressing a consul w r ite To A B E s q , ,

. .
,

Consul to H er B rittanic M aj es ty at ,

In directing a le tter to an y memb er Of t he Pri v y

-

”
Council prefix Right H on to the name and
, .
,

add a fter it the title of the o ffice held Observe .

.

the same rules in addressing members of the Royal

Household Letters or addresses to the House of
.

“
Pe e rs as a b ody are addressed To the Right ,

Hon the Lords S piritual and Temporal i n Parlia

.

ment assembled ; and to th e H ouse Of Commons

.

,
.

To the Honourable the Com mons of the U nited

Kingdom of Great B rit a in and Ireland .

“
The S pea k er of the House is addresse d a s The
Right H on E squire S peaker of the H ouse
.
, ,

of Commons I ndividual members who have no ,

title are addressed by their Chris tian and surname

, ,

follo wed by E s q M P
I
ex c ept of course in
.
,
. .
, , ,

those ca s es where they have a title .

In beginning letters to the House of Lords the ,

“
Correct form is ,
My Lords m ay it ple ase yo u r
, ,

Lordships ; and to the Lower H ouse May it ,

please your Honour a ble House ”

Petitions to th e .

Lords con c lude thus

i
And your Lordships ’

petitioners will ever pray ; and to the Com mons ,

”
And your petitioners will ever p ray .

When clergy men h ave titles these should be ,

I7O M O DE S O F ADDRE S S I NG L E TTE RS .

inserted after the word or rathe r abbreviation , ,

Rev in addressi n g a letter The followi n g a r e t he

.
, . _

forms for addressi n g our Church dignitaries To

H is Grace the Archbishop of To the
Right Rev the B ishop of . The Re v .

J ohn S mith D D The V ery Rev the Dean

, . .
”
.

of or The V ery Rev J ohn S mith D D

, .
, .

“
Dean of The V en Archdeacon .

Rectors and c urates are addressed as The Rev .

J ohn S mith ; The Rev Wil l iam J on es ”

'

. .

H olders of the higher appointments in the Army

'

a n d Navy are addressed as follows :

“
To Lieut .

G en eral the D uke of Command er

“
in Chief of Her Maj esty s Forces etc To ’
-
.
,

Field Marshal the V is c oun t K G Master . .

,

“ ”
General of the Ord n an c e e tc To the Right , .

Hon Lord
. Comman der Of Her M aj esty s ’

”
Forces e tc ,
To Colonel t ire Hon A
. . .

To S ir Admiral and Com

“
mander of the Channel Fleet etc To S ir , .

C aptain of H er Majesty s Ship B la ck ’

Pr in ce I n addressing maj ors captains or lieu

.
, ,

tenant s add the names Of the regiments to which

,

they belo n g In the Navy address Lieute n ant

. ,

Br own R N on bo a rd H M S R esis tan ce

”
,
. .
,
Mr . . . . .

S mith M idshipma n
,
Devasta tion .
 INDE X .

A GI RL S d uty to her Cl ra peron 2 9 C oun try V i si tin g time usua ll y the

'
. .
,

A W o ma n s fi rs t S ocia l D uty 2 5 s a m e e a c h g ea r 6 5
'
.
, . .
,

Aftern o on Dan ces n su cce ssful , 54 U n pa ck in g 70 . U , .

Why s o, 54 .

Afte rn o on Re ce p tion s. Amusemen ts DA NC I NG C ha pe ro n s us e l es s 2 5 . .

at 5 3 , . Differen ce b e twee n a Go od a n d a
S houl d be n otifi e d to Gue sts , C a rel ess Hostes s , 1 3 .

53 Din ers 1 40 . .

C a rd s for, 5 2 . C on v ersa tio n , 1 4 2 .

Error o f tak in g Frie n d s to , 5 7 Dres s 1 4 8 .

, .

Ge n t le men rarely prese n t , but H in ts t o, 1 4 3 .

sh ou ld b e in v ite d , 5 2 H in ts to La d ies, .

M u sic a hel p a t 5 9 Na me C ar d s obj ection abl e,

. .

O n e d a y s e t a pa rt for, 59 142 . .

Time u sual l y Chosen , 5 2 Pun ctu al ity the fi rs t Duty . 1 40

. .

Toile ttes fo r, 5 6 S ma ll Ta k 1 4 5
. l , .

Wa iters , 5 3 . Din n ers, mporta n ce o f waitin g a t. I

Aftern o on Iea , 4 9
‘
-
. 1 32 .

C us to m of Recen t Da te. 49 Th e S id eb o ar d , 1 35 . .

Disa d van t a g es of, 5 0 O rd er of W in es , 1 38

. .

Din n e r Givers , 1 2 5
'

L arger Ga therin g s 5 1 .

Bes t Ta b e for Din in g mom.

, .

Pleasa n tes t fo rm o f, 5 1 . l -

Afte rn o on W his t Pa r ties , 5 1 1 32 . .

H os te s s d e n ie d to all sa v e the Error s in Din n er Givin g 1 2 6 , .

C o terie, 5 1 . Nu mb er of Gues ts , 1 27 .

S ty e o f Furn iture fo r Din in g l

roo m, 1 30 .

C HA PE RONS o f M otherl e ss Girl s , 2 7 . Tempera tu re of Din in g -

ro om ,

1) Their d uties 2 7 , . 1 31 .
V
C o un t ry is itin g 6 5 . . Dut ies of a Chap eron , 2 3.

n Depa r ture 73 . . At C ou n try H ous es , 2 5.

Dres s e s , 6 6 . At Picn ics 2 5 , .

Fees to S erv a n ts , 72 . Firmn e ss, 2 3 .

Ha t s a n d Bo n n ets 6 8 . . I n tro d ucti o n s , 24 .

How t o hel p the H ost ess, 71 . No a ccura te cod e can b e d rawn

I n vita t ion s 6 5 , . u p , 2 7.
Pack in g , 6 9 . of Gu es ts , 1 4.
1 72 I NDE X .

Du t ies o f Gues ts at C o n certs , 1 7 . . E ti quette of Wed d in g s , 85 .

Din n er Pa r ties 1 8 Bou que ts 8 7

'

, .
, .

Fe es t o S erv a n ts 2 1 , . Brea k fas t , 88

I mporta n ce o f Pun ctua l ity 14
.

, . Brid es ma id s ’ Dres se s , 92;

M ud d y B oots , 1 5 . De par tu re , 8 9 .

R e cep t ion s , 1 7 Fa v ours 86

‘

.
, .

l
Ru es o f th e H ouse mus t b e I
n vita tion s , 8 5 .

o b serve d , 1 9 . M en us , 88 .

Du tie s o f H ostess in the C ou n t ry , 9 . Pre ce d e n ce of the Br id e , 90

l
.

At t en tion t o S ma l De ta ils , 1 3 . Pr es en ts , 8 7 .

Ar riva l o f Gues ts , 9 . S peeches a l mo s t ou t o f Da te,

I
n t ro d u c t ion s , 1 0 . 89 .

I
n v ita t io n s s hou ld b e d efi n it e, o f Wid ows ,
91 .

9 . E x tre me C a n d our Obj e ction ab e , 6 1 l .

Pl a n s for the Day, 1 1.

GA RDE N Parties , 5 4 .

ETI Q U ETTE of C a rd L e av in g , 1 50 .
C hild ren a S p ecia Fea ture a t, l
Ne v er s e n t b y Pos t 1 5 4 , .
54
Nu m b er t o le a v e 1 5 1 .
E n ter ta in men ts for the m, 55 .
,
G ol d en Rul e, 6 1
S ize o f C a rd s , 15 0 .

Go o d M an n ers , 6 0
.

U s es o f C a rd s , 1 5 1 .

W he n t o l e a v e C a r d s , 1 5 4 C he e rful n es s a p a rt of 6 2
Wha t n e cess a ry [or t he For
, .
.

W ord in g o f C ard s , 1 5 3 .

q
E t i u e t te o f Din n ers , 7, 33 .
ma tion o f 3 , .

C o ffee a n d Tea a fte r, 37 .

Din n e rs d l a R u m", 36 .
H I NTS to Y oun g L a d ies when Un
Gues t C a rd s , 35 .
cha p eron ed , 2 8 .
I
n tr o d u c t io n s u n n eces s a ry
s a ve Firs t C o m e rs , 33 .

La d y s Preced e n ce al wa ys r e
’
I NC I V I L I TY of Q s tio s 6 3 ue n , .

s p ect e d , 3 4 . I t d tin ro t M
uc i g C ll
on s a o rn n a s un
M en u C a rd s , 35 . ry 6 n ece ss a ,
.

Pla cin g o f Gu e s ts , 35 . I it ti B k 3
n v a on oo , 11 .

Prece d en ce , 34 . I it ti n v a 7 on s , 1 0 .

S u ita bl e Escorts for Y oun g Aftern o o n Re cep t io n C ard s,

L a d ies , 33 . 1 12 .

Wa it in g , 36 . l
Ba l s ,
q I
E t i u e tte o f n v ita tion s an d Din n er Din n e r , 108 .

Pa rtie s , 30 . Pos tc a r d s n a d mis sib I l e, 1 1

3 .

Fo rm o f n v ita tio n , 39I . Word in g o f 1 07 , .

No tes m o re u s ua l fo r S m a ll I n v ita tion s t o R e ce p t ion s , Ball s ,

P a rtie s , 30 a n d C o n ce r ts , e t c ,
. .
31 .

Re p lies , 31 . An s wer s un n e cess ary u n l e ss

S hould b e a n s were d a t o n ce, re qu es te d , 32 .

s3 . C a rd s for ,
'

V e ry s im i ar ,
31 l .

Et iq ue tt e of M ourn in g 9 2 , . C ard s s hou l d b e l eft n ex t d ay,

B uyin g , 1 0 5 33
‘

C hild ren , 1 0 0 . Da te s om e tim es Pr in te d 31 , .

C ra p e , 94 . M is ta k e n Id eas on s en d in g
Pa ren ts , 100. C a r d s b y Po s t , 33 .

S e r v a n ts , 10 3. Time , 32 .

WV id ow s , 9 3 . Vis its w hen g rea t in timacy

Wid o ws O u t fi t , 9 5'
. ex is ts , 33 .
 I NDEX . 1 73

L ETTE RS to Amb ass ad ors , 16 8 . Picn ics , S u ita b l e Toil e tte, 79

Baron e ts , 1 6 8 . Pre ce d e n ce , 1 1 5 .

l
the C erg y, 1 6 9 . C l e1ica l , 1 2 2 .

a Duk e o r Duchess , 1 6 7 . C ou r te s y Titl es , 1 19 .

l
An E a r or C oun tess , 1 6 7 . Titles , 1 2 0 .

H ol d ers o f App o in tmen ts in L eg a l a n d M ilita ry, 1 22 .

Army o r Na v y 1 70 , . Na va l 1 2 3 , .

t he H o u s e o f L or d s 1 6 9 , . o f L a d ies i m p or ta n t , 1 1 5 .

to j u d g es 9 , 16 . Preced en ce , Pe ers a n d Peeresses,

q
M a r u is , 1 6 7 . 1 1 7.
Prin ce an d Prin cess o f W a l es Ru l es o f , 1 16 .

16 7 . Presen ta tio n at C ourt, 1

59 .

t he Q ueen , 1 6 6 . Dress 1 6 3
, .

t he Ro ya Fa m il y, 1 6 7 l . The C e re mon y, 16 2 .

the S pea k er , 1 6 9 . The E tique tte of Pre s e n ta

t ion s , 15 9 .

M A NNERS an d C u s to m s at t he S ea Form a lit ies of a L et/dc, 16 1 .

s id e , 81 . Pr e s en ta tion C a r d s , 16 0 .

Ac q ua in tan ces 84 , . S ta te L iveries , 16 5 .

C a ll s , 8 4 .

Dress , 8 2 . Rn cn p r ro n s , 7 .

M an n ers , 8 2 . Aftern oon 7 , .

Ta bl e d H6 te 8 1
'

, . E ven in g 7 , .

E ti ue t t e o f, 8 2 q .

M ean in g o f E s uire , 1 6 7 q . S e n s rr rv e n e ss 6 2 , .

M od es o f Ad d res s in g L e t ters , 1 6 6 . S tra ig htforwar d n e s s 6 3 . .

M orn in g C a s , 1 5 ll . S up erv is ion o f G ir s d es irab l le an d

C on vers at ion a t , 1 6 . n ece ssa r . 2 .
y 5
Impropriety of ta kin g Frien d s
16 TA BL E Decora tion 38 , .

L e n g th o f, 1 5 . Dess ert n o w s erve d in an o th er

ll
M om in g C a ers , R eceiv in g ; 6 Room , 4 2 .

M o thers t he b es t Cha p eron s 2 l

F ow ers fo r , 4 0 .

Arran ge men t o f 4 1 , .

PIC NI CS 74, . Fo r m e r S tyl es 39 , .

C hoic e o f L oca lity 74 . S an d for a s es V 44 ,

l
,

C o n ve an ce o f G u e s ts , 75 S tron g s cen te d Fl o we rs s h ou d
-

y .

Five o c o ck Te a , 78
'
l . n o t b e use d , 47 .

In v ita tio n s , 75 . V a se s, B a sk e t s e tc 40 , . , .

L u n cheon , 78 .

Pro vis ion s fo r, 76 . V I S I TI NG Book s , 1 57.

U NWI N BROTHE RS , TH E GRES H AM PRES S , C H I LWORTH AND LO NDO N.

 W rw ick H om e
a , Dorset
S a l is bury S qu a re, E C . .

W AR D , L OCK CO S .
’

I
L S T OF

AN
ST EREN
ARD REF
D CE VOLUMES

a ul or n a ta l Bon it a .

Of a ll Wor k: of R ef er en ce pu bl is her"of l a te y ea r s , n ot on e b a r g a in ed s uck

g en er a l lap/ r ob o tic): a s B B B T O N
'
S I
LL US TR AT E D E NC Y C L O PE DI A
Th e impor t a n ce
.

m
'
of t /
i i: v a l u a ble co p il a tio n i n t b e ca use y m en ta l cu l t u r e ha s l on g been a ck n ow
.

ledg ed , a n d d it: r ea l u sef u l n es s to Me p ubl ic tire m os t g r a tifl 'zn g p roof s be v e

'

been r eceived . It is un doubted ly on e o f Me M ost Compr e/tem ir/e Wor k s in ex is t

en ce, a n d is

,
THE C HEAPES T ENC YC LO PE DI A EV ER PUBLI S HED .

Compl ete in Four Volumes , roya l 8 vo, ha f l - roa n , price 4 21 . ha l f ca l f,

-

B E ETO N S

IL L U S TR A TE D E NC Y C L O PE DIA

co mr a rs m c

I
GEOGRAPHY, H S TORY, BIOGRAPHY, ART, S C ENCE, AND LITERATURE, I
A ND cour a m m c

Pages, Articles, an d En gra rin gs

an d Col oured Maps .

In Bar r on 's l u v s - 1 11111 111) E n cv cw w e n m w il l b e foun d compl e te a n d

a uth en tic in forma tion re s p ectin g t he Ph y sica l an d Pol it ica l Geog ra phy , S it ua t ion ,

Popul at ion , Commerce an d Pr od uct ion s, as w ell a s t he p rin cip a l Publ ic Bu il d

in g s of every Coun t ry an d import an t or i n t eres tin g Town in th e Worl d , a n d
the lea d in g Hist orica l Even t s wit h w hich they h a v e b e en con n e cte d ; con c is e Bio
graphics of Emi n en t Per s on s, from t he m ost r e mot e t imes t o the p re se n t d a y
brief S k e t che s of the l ea d in g fe a t ur e s o f Eg yptia n , Gr eek , R om an , Or ien t a l an d ,

S can din a vian Myt h ol ogy ; a C o mpl e t e S ummary o f t h e M ora l , M a th e ma tica l ,

Phy sical an d Na t ur al S cien ces ; a p l a in d es criptio n o f the Ar ts ; a n d a n in t e re s t
in g S yn opsis of Lit era ry Kn ow l ed g e The Pr on u n cia t ion an d Ety mol ogy o f
.

every l ead in g t erm in trod uce d throug hout the E n cy cI Op z d ia are al so g 1v e n .

“
We 11 110 11
7 or NO 110 0 1
; which in su ch s ma l l comp as s g ive s so M UC H w r on
"
u a 1 10 n . The S cots ma n .

L on don 4 WAR D,
. L O CK e" co .
, S a l is bury S quar e, E c . .
 AIRS B E E TON’ S H O US E H OL D M ANA GE M E NT.
.

fli es sr s WA R D, L OCK 6 2° C 0 ha v e t he p l ea s ur e to a n n ou n ce tha t the New ,

. .

E n l a rg ed , a n d l mp r w ed E d ition o f M r s B E E TO N ’
S B OO K OF NO US E .

H O L D M A NA GE M H VT, o f w or ld w id e r en ow n , is n ow r ea dy , con ta in in g 1 5 0
-

f New Inf or m a t io n on a l l m a t ter s o

p a g es o f Cook ery a n d Domes t ic M a n ag em en t .

E n t ir ely New C ol ou r ed C ook ery Pl a tes . a n d n u me r ou s n ew f u l l -p a g e Wood

E n g r o m n g s h a v e l ik ew is e bee n a d d ed , thus f ur ther impr ov in g a w or k a l r ea dy
’

a ck n o wl edg ed to be

THE B ES T C O O K ERY B OO K IN THE WO RLD .

Of th is B ook ov er Cop ies ha ve been s ol d ; this is the bes t t es t of its g r ea t

u til ity ov er ev ery other Cook ery B ook in t he E n g l is h m a r k et .

Now re a d y, IM P ROV E D A ND A
E NL RGE " ) E D I TI ON (337t h Thou san d ), s tron gl y boun d ,

p rice 7s 6 d . . cl oth g il t , g il t e d ge s, 8s 6 d ; half ca lf, ros 6 d

. .
-
. .

M RS . B E E TO N ’
S BOO K O F

H OU SE HOL D M A NA G E M E NT .

C omyrisin g ev ery f Inf or m a tion

k in d o on Domes tic E con omy an d Cook ery ,

AND CONTAININ G
Pa ges , R ecip es an d In s truction
. s, E n gr avin gs ,
an d New C ol our e d C ook er y Pl a te s .

M rs s . 130 0 1: o r H O U S E HO LD
r ON s
'
ANA E M E NT ha s l on g bee n ack n ow M G
f its k in d , an d is n ow in d a ily us e in hu n d r e d s o f t hous an d s o f homes,
l ed g ed the bes t o
r e ce iv in g thereby t he g r e a te s t hon our w hich in t his coun t r y has ev er bee n p a id t o a

C ook ery Bo ok The APPENDIX w hich is n o w a d d e d g iv es s e v e ra l Hun d red s of

.

Now Recipes, an d Hin ts without n umber in a l l d epa r tmen ts o f Cook ery a n d the
S e rv ice of the Tabl e .

M rs BEE TON S B OO K or H OU S E HOL D M ANA GE M E NT is a C ompl et e Cycl o

’
.

pas til e f or t h e Home, in cl ud in g , a s it d oe s, in for ma tion for the Ill is t r es s , H ou se

k eep er , C ook , K i tchen l ll a zd , B u t l er , Footm a n , C oach m a n , V a l et, H ou sem a id .
'

L a dy s M a id , M a id qf -a l l Wor k , L a un d ry M a id , Nu r s em a id , Nu r s es , & c , é r c
'
' - ’
. .

Rul es for t h e M a n a g emen t of S erv a n t s Rul es for t h e Rearin g . an d

M an a gemen t of Chil d ren Th e Doctor Leg al Memoran d a . . .

250 Bil l s of r are f or Din n er s f or 6 t o 18 Person s ; a l s o f or Ba ll S uppers,

B r ea k fast s , Lun ch eon s, a n d S uppers, as wel l a s for Pl a in Famil y Din n ers, a ll
arra n g ed t o suit t h e S ea son s f rom J an uary t o December .

As a Wed d in g Gif t
,
B ir t hd a y B ook , or Pr esen ta t ion l ’
o l u me a t a n y Per iod
"
f
o th e Yea r , or up on an A n t it/e r s a ry w ha tev er , M r s B eeton s
'
H o us ehol d .

”
fi l a n ag em en t is en t it l e t o t t e v ery fi rs t fl a ce In ha lf -ca lf bin d in g , [ r ice .

H a if a Gu in ea , the book w il l l a s t a l if e t im e, a n d s a ve m on ey every d ay

- -
.

O ther ho usehol d bo ok s may b e r eg ar d ed as treat is”es on s p e cial d ep artmen ts of the men ag e ;

th is is a C ycl op md ia o f a l l t hin g s con n ect e d w rth h o me — Da tty New s
' ’
. .

A v ol um e w h ich w il l b e fo r man y y e ars to come , a TR E AS U RE To B E M ADE M U C H O F i n

.

E V E R Y E NGL IS H H O U S E H O L D It is an E n cyclorsz d ia o f fa mil y

.
m
a tt e rs. w hich w il l n ot o ft e n
b e re fe rred t o in v ain , a n d t h e e as y ar ra n g e me n t o f w hich w ill a t o n c e w in t he he art s of a ll its
fe m a l e con su l te r s M rs Bee ton has e arn e d for h ers elf, by this vol ume, a household rep uta tion
. .

"
-S ta n d a rd
an d a n a me . .

L on d on : WARD , L O CK é "C O .
, S a l is bu ry S qua re, E C . .
 T ANDARD GOO/(ERY BOOKS
HE S T .

M RS . B EE T O N’
S EV ER Y - DA Y CO O K E R Y A ND
HOU S E K E E B OO K P I NG
C om r s n g In s tr uc t io n s for M is t re s s e s pii
ll P l p W
.

a n d S e rva n t s , a n d a C o e c t ion o f ov er ra c tica R e ci es it h

l i
.

H un d re d s o f E n g ra v mg s in the Te x t, an d 1 4 2 C o ou r e d F g ure s show in g

the M o d e rn M od e o f s en d in g Dis hes to Ta b e C o th g il t , rice 3s 6 d l . l p . .

M RS BE E TO N S AL L
.
’
AB O U T C O O K E R Y . A
C ll ti
o f P
ec ti l R ip
on o ra c ca ec es , a rra n g e d in A lph a be tica l Ord e r, an d
f lly I ll t t d
u C w 8 l
us ra e lt p i e 6 d
. ro n v c , c o th gi , r c 2 3. .

W AR D L O C K S C O O KE R Y INS TR U C TO R An ’
.

ti l y
en w w k
re th P
n e ti d S ci
or f C k y I ll t t d
on e ra c ce a n en ce o oo er us ra e
l m t ti ly mit t d i ll
. .

Th f
e re a son s R i w hi h or ec es , c a re a os en re o e n a
M d o ern C k y B h
oo l ly i
er Th w k w ill p
oo s, a re ere c e a r v en e or rov e
l bl t M i t d i t llig t Co k
.

i n v a ua eT ch o f C s r es s e s ,
y ea ers o oo cr an n e en o s.
l th g il t 6 d
,
C w s ro n va, c o , as . .

M R S B E E T O N S E NG L I S H W O M A N S C O O K E R Y
.
’ ’

BO O K A E ti ly N w E diti n R i d
n d E l g d
re C e on , e v se an n ar e on
R cp C l
. .

d F
’ .

t i i g
a n n pw d t g u ar E g
s p i g oo d e i e s , zoo n r av n s an ou r o ou re
Pl t W th D ct f M k t g Di g m f J i t I t
a es . i ire ion s or ar e in
.

a ra s o o n s, n s r uo
i g t h M thod of F l d i g T bl N pk i
,

ti f C
on s or a rv n , &
e d De o n a e a n s, c .
, an e
ip ti
s cr f t t
on s o Tm Co t S e
uan f th i
i ie s , Di h i es , s s, a s on s , or e v a r ous s e s.
P t s l t p i m ; l th g lt pri
os vc , c o 6dr ce c o i , ce t s . .

TH E PE O PL E S H O U S E K E E PE R A C ompl e te
'
.

G id t C mf t E c my d H l th C mp i i C k y
o or on o an ea o
i h g g
u e o r s n oo er
h ld E my t h F m l y H l t h F
, , .
,
H
.

o us e o con o I w k e a i ea ur n s in o us e or
C l th s M k t g F d &c & P t 8 l th p i
, , , ,
o e , a r e in , oo , .
, c. os v o, c o , r ce rs .

TH E E C O NO M I C AL C O O K E R Y B O O K for H ouse ,
wi C k
v es, d M id oo i ll W k : w it h Ad i
s, a n t Mi t a d s -o -
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or v ce o s ress an
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A t l i Ti d M at S p d Fi h I ll t
.
.
,
on us ra an nn e d m e s, ou s, a n s an nu e rou s us ra
P t s l th p c
,
ti on s . os vc , c o , ri e r s .

TH E S I X PE NNY PR AC T I C A L C O O K E R Y A ND
E CO NO M I C AL REC I PE S C mp i i M k t i g R li h . o r s n ar e n e s e s,
B il d Di h V g t bl p S id Di S l d Fi h
,

S St w
’

o e s es , e e a es , ou s, e s es , a a s e s, s
Ch p D h I al id C k y & P 6 d , ,

J i t S c
o n s, a u es , ea is e s, nv oo e r , c. _
ri ce .

TH E C OTT A G E C O O K E R Y B O O K C o n ta in in g .

S impl L e i C k y e ss on sd E mi l H m M n g m t
oo A er an con o ca o e an a e en n
d C m pl t G id t E c
.

E y as an o my i th K it he e d m t
u e o on o n e c en an a os
l bl H d b k f Y g H w P 6d .
,
va ua e an oo or ou n ou s e i ve s . ri ce .

B E E T O N S PE NNY C O O K E R Y B O O K En tirel y
’
.

w it h N w R cip
-

N w E d iti
e on th gh t Th e H d d e d e es r ou ou r e un re an
Tw H d d R ip
, .

Thi ti th Th r e d C t i g m
ou san th on a n in or e an o un re ec es
d I tru ti P p tf
.

an ns d c on s . id ri ce r . os ree , r .

W AR D A ND L O C K S PE NNY H O U S E K E E PE R ’

AND GU I DE TO COOK E RY C t i i g Pl i d R li bl on a n n a n an e a e
I t u ti i Cl i g d l l D m ti D t t h P p r ti
.

f
“

ns r c on s n ean n an a o es c u ie s , e re a a on o

S p s V g t bl s M t
ou f ll k i d s P t y J lli
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ea s o a n , as r e es , re a o e
w ll
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B &c d y thi y f g d d n n e cess ar or securin a e or e re

ii
an e ve r
g
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P ic d ; p t f
.
,
H m o e. r e r . os re e , x .

B E E T O N S PE NNY D O M E S T I C R E C I PE B O O K
’

C t i i g S impl d P ti l I f m t p t hi g i l
on a n n i e an rac ca n or a on u on n s n e n er a r

u se an d y fo y H
n ecessa r h ld P d p tf r ever 4 ouse o . rice r os ree, 1 “

L on d on IVARD, L O CK 6 1° C O . S a lis bury S qua re, E C. .

 H IGH CL AS S B O OK S OF R E FE RE NCE
'

T V S ERIES OF MAN
HE HAYD/ UALS .

"
MOS T U N E S A L
Tire o EFE EN E m A MO DE A T E com As s TH AT
IV R t
n o or r R R C R p
w k N w o m TH E E NG L H L ANG A G
”—
Tmm
,

e o r l IS U n . e
'
.

H AY D N S D I C T I O NA R Y O F DA T E S ’
Rel a tin g to all .

Ag d N ti
es a n f U i lR f C t i i g b t
a on s d i ti t or n v e rs a e er e n ce . on a n n a ou s nc
A i l d D t
r t c es . a n d F t Si t th E d i i E l g d C t d a es a n ac s . x een t on n ar e orre c e
f t h R y l I t it ti
'
, .

d R i d by B NJ M N V Na
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'
ra r a n o e o a n s u on o
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It i t i ly l g w
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no on er n o a e re c on ar o a es , u o rn ui
S V E D T ON A
I IC EN L OP D A or G E N E A L N FOR MA T O N " T, Tim
I RY o n C YC E I R I I .
—
te es .

It i air FAR TH E R EA D E S T A N D mos EL A L E wo o un K i ND " 2 h —

‘
'
s I r R I B n x r r . ¢
S ta n d a r d .

V I NC E NT S D I C TI O NA R Y O F B I O G RA PH Y Past an d
’
,
P t C t i i g t h C hi f E
re se n t i th L i f Em
on a n n P f ll e e ve n s n e ves o in e n t e rs on s o a
B y B E NJ AM N V Na f t h R y l I tit ti
.

Ag d N ti
es a n Lib a i on s . I i r rar a n o e o a ns u on
f G ea t B ita i
,
”
o rd Ed i f H d Di t i
r f D tn I O e
an t or o a n s
’
c on ai o a es . n n
l th 6d lf lf 8
.

t hick V l m d i m 8 o . lt
, ell tu vc, c o , . a -ca
, u or ree- ca , 1 3.

It h th m it f d
as i g i t th m ll t p
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o con en s n n o e s a es oss e co ass e ea n
ev e n s t i th n f y m d w m
e ca r e er of mi It i y ev e r an an o an o e n e n ce . s ver ca re
fu lly d it d d m t id t l y b t h
e e , anlt f t t i d t y
us mbi d w ith
ev en
” -
e e re s u o con s an n us r , co ne

g ood j u d g me n t an d ta s te . Tk e Timer .

Tire CH E APES T BOO K P UB L IS H E D rm D OM E S TIC M E DICINE , & c

-
.

H YA D N’ S DO M E S C M E D C NE By the l a te E D I N TI I I . W
AN E E
L K S T R, M D , a s s is t e d by Dis t in g u is he d hy s icia n s a n d S urg e on s P
l pp
. . .

Ne w E d it ion , in c u d in g a n A en d ix on S ick Nu rsin g a n d M o the rs ' M a n ag e

W
m en t ith 32 fu a g e s of E n g rav in g s ll p
In O n e V ol , me d ium 8 vo, c ot h gi t, l l
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73 6d ., ha f ca f, m
.
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Ve ry e xhau s tiv e, an d
mb e od ie s an en ormous a moun t of medica in formation l
in an ll l p
in t e ig ib e s ha e " l
S . e cots ma rz.

T n r un es r A N D mos
u
-
r n au As L n
'
worn : o r [ T5 K in n y — L iverpool Albion .

H AYDN S B I B L E D I C TI O NAR Y For the use of all Read ers

’
.

d St d t
an f th O l d d N w T um t d f t h Ap
en y ph
s o E d it d e an e e st a en s, a n o e ocr a. e
b y th l t R C H A L E B O T E LL M A N w E d it i b gh d w t
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e a e ev . R S U e on r ou t o n o
th l t p g f E g i g p ly p t d ti t d
. .
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m
.

C n oc uer PA TTE R NS . K -r r t uc A ND Nm mc l n s m ucr to n s

K m -r r m o [ mo Nm w a PATTE RNS
'
L Ac c S -r rr c u s s .

M I
.

O NOG RAM A ND NITIAL Pa r r c n n s Po m r L a c s Pa r nass u s

W
. .

B ERL IN oo r In s'r n ucu on s

. G u xr un s PATTE RNS .
W
.

C n s wa t ORK . .

New an d Re v is d Ed iti
e on . C ro wn 8 vo, c o h g l , g l t i t ilt e dg es, pi r ce 7s 6 d.
.

fl.“ fi rs t a s Tu n Boo k or H ous m a n ) M a n a c s u e n

ta hes d u e pr eced en ce rj r
ev e ry other Cooke ry B ook , s o t hi s e t r a o r d in a r x
y col l e ct io n a Need l e w ar h Des ig n s
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x ll
h a s become the book , pa r e ce e n ce , f or L a d ies t o con s u l t , h fi r In s tru ct ion in

igh f IVor h, a n d Pa t ter n s of el eg a n t s ty l e an d fi re/r eacha bl e

fl t s a n d a l l k in d s o

go as [‘ e

M ADAM E GO U BAU D S
'

S HI L L I NG NE E DL E W O R K B O O K S .

Imp i l 6 m o m t l w ppe p i s e ch
er a r o, rn a en a ra r, r ce r . a .

I. Ta t t in g P a t t e r n s Wi th 6 6 I l lustra t i on s
. .

a . E m b r o i d ery P a t t ern s With 8 5 I ll us tra t i on s . .

3 . C ro c h e t P a t t e r n s Wi th 4 8 I ll us tra t i on s
. .

4. Kn it t in g a n d Ne t t i n g Pa t t e rn s W i th 6 4 Il l us tra t i on s . .

5 . Pa t t e rn s o f M o n o g ra m s I n i t i a l s & c 1 5 1 Il l us tra tion s , , . .

6 . G u i p u r e P a t t e rn s Wi th 7; I ll ustra ti on s . .

7 . P oin t L a c e B o o k Wi th 78 I ll us trat i on s . .

M ADAM E G OU BAU D S
'

NE E D L E W O R K I N S T R U C T I O N B O O K S .

Imp i l 6 m m t l w pp
er a p i 6d h
1 o, orn a en a ra e r, r ce . eac .

I B erl i n W o ol I n s t ru c t i o n s Wi th 1 8 I ll ustra ti s
,

. . on .

3 E m b ro id e ry In s t ru c t io n s
. Wi th 6 5 I l lustra tion s . .

3 C ro c h e t I n s t ru c t ion s
. Wi th 24 Il lus tra t i on s ; .

H om e Ne ed l e wo rk Wi th 80 Di agra m s Price Is .
'

. .

Ar t Ne e d l e w o rk Ill ustrat ed Price rs . . .

Th e F an cy Ne e d l e wo r k I n s t r u ct i o n B o o k P rice . Is.
lso Th L d i s B d F y F i B k
' "
(S ee a e a ) e a zaar an an c a r oo s

L on don : WARD , L O CK 67° CO . S al is bu ry S yu a re, E C . .

 WARD AND L OC KS '

L O NG L IF E S E R IE S ;

A ccurately Wri tten an d Ca refull y Edit ed b y Dist in g uished Member:

of t he M
e di cal Pr ofession .

F p 8
ca . v o, c oth, n
l .

The obj ect of WA

L ocx s RD
’
G
L O N L IFE S E RIES is t o d ifi cse as w id ely a s
j os szbl e, a mon g s t a ll cl a ss es , a k n ow l edg e of the e l em en ta ry p a r ts of pr even tiv e
'

m ed icin e The s u bj ects s el ected a r e o

.
f v ita l a n d pr a ctica l imp or ta n ce in ev ery d ay
l if e, a n d a r e t r eat ed in a s p opu l a r a s ty le a s is con sis ten t w ith their n a ture.
E ach v ol u m e, i f the s u bj ect ca l l s f or it , is f u l ly Il l us tr a ted , s o tha t the te t may x
be cl ea r ly a n d r ea di ly u n d er stood by a n y on e hithe r to en tir ely ig n ora n t of the
f the body
s t r u ctu re a n d f un c t ion s o .

The A u thor s of L ocx ’ sW L ON L I F S E RIE S

A RD ha ve been selected G E
w it h g r ea t ca r e a n d on a ccou n t of specia l fi t n ess each f or his s u bj ect , by r ea s on 4
its pr evious ca r ef ul s t udy , either p ri v a t ely or as p ubl ic teaching .

1. L O NG L IFE , A ND H O W To RE AC H IT .

T H R O A T AND TH E V O I C E
TH E .

E Y E S I G HT A ND H o w To C A R E FO R IT , .

TH E M O U TH A ND TH E T E E TH .

TH E S KI N IN H E AL TH AND D I S E A S E .

B R A I N W O R K A ND O V E R WO R K .

S IC K NU R S I NG A H a n dboo k for al l wh o h ave to d o with

C f Di d C
as e s o l s ea s e a n on v a e s cen ce .

TH E Y O U N G W I F E S A D V I C E B O O K : A Guid e for
’

M th H lth
o d S lf M
e rs on g m t ea an e - an a e en .

S L E E P : H O W TO O B TAI N IT .

Io IIE A R ING A ND H o w TO K E E P IT
'

-
.
. ,

S E A A IR A ND S E A B A TH I NG .

H E A L TH IN S C H O O L S A ND W O R K S H O P S
‘

T S T DA R
HE A W y
UR M Y W d d L k h d e g ood
E V IE sa s : es srs . ar an oc ave on
i t t h p bl i i p
ce o e ihg u t th h d
c nf h hl y q
g lifi d m mb f th
r oc u r a e an s o i ua e e e rs o e
m di l p f i l mp mg t th m ll t p ibl p
,

e ca i f m
ro es s o n a s er es o a n ua s co r e ss In o e s a es oss e s ace
l m t y p i ipl d p t l l f h lthf l l mg It i t m h t
,

ru es o ea iv
th e e e en ar r n c es an ra c ica u . s n o uc o

y f th m i th t h h l l g t d b t m i h of th m m y b ‘

sa o e as a s e r es . a t e S l l ll In ves e e x es n ea c e a e
i gm y g
,
”
th m e f ea n s o s av n an a uin ea .

Lon d on WA RD , L O CK C0 .
, S a l is bu ry Squ a r e, E C . .
B E E TO N VA” ou R E FE R E N C E B O OKS
’
S I t ,
FOR THE PEOPL E or G R E AT B RITAIN AND I RELA ND .

In g r ea t compe t it ion a n d l it t l e l eis ure the v a l ue of Tim e it

an ag e o f
toler a bly w e ll un d e r s tood M en w a n t in g f a cts l ik e to et a t t he ") wit h a : l itt l e
g
.

x y mon ey or m in u tes B E E TO N e NATIO NA L R E FERE NC E

e pe n d it u re as pos s ibl e c .

B OO K S ha ve been con ceived a n d ca r r ied ou t in t he bel ch] tha t a set of Ch eap a n d

H a n dy V ol umes in B iog r a hy , Geog r a p hy , H is t ory (S a cr ed a n d Prof a n e
a n d B us in es s. w ou ld be t or oug hly w elcom e , beca u se t he
y w ou ld om c ly a n s wer
’

ma ny a question . In every ca s e the typ e w il l be f ou n d clea r a n d j la in .

S TRONGLv BOUND IN CLOTH, PRIC E ONE S HILLIN G EAC H.

(Those mark ed thus ca n be h a d cl oth gilt, pri ce rs . so ) .

'
s B rit is h G a z e t t e e r : A To o ra hical d His toris al
’
L B e e t o n
p g p an
i
Gu d e to the U n ed in g d om it K .

’
B e et o n s B r t is h B io g ra p hy : i From the Earl es t i Times to the
i
Access on of George III .

3 B e e t on s M o d e rn M e n a n d W o m en : A B riti sh Biography,
’
.

fro m t he Access io n of Geor g e III t o the Pr es en t Ti me . .

m B e e on s B i bl e Dic t io n a ry A C y cl opaed i a of the Geog ra phy,

' ’
t .

B iog ra phy, Na rra ti ves , an d Tru ths of S cr ipt ure .

s Cl a s s ic a l D ic ti o n a ry : A C cl o aed i a of Gr ee k an d
’ ’
5 B
. e e t on
y p
Roma n B og ra hy, Ge og ra hy , i p
y t hol ogy , a n d An qu e s p M ti iti .

6 .
’
B e e to n 's ed al M ic
Di t io n a ry A Gu d e for every c . i F a mi l y,
d e fi n in it p t l i
w h erfe c p a n n e ss, t he S y m oms a n d h 'ea tmen t of pt
t ?
'
a ll All
men s , lln es ses , a n d Di s e a s es .

7 E c ot on Da t e B oo k A Br itish C hron ol ogy from the Ear l i est

’
. e .

R ecord s to the Presen t Da y .

8 . ic c
B ee t o n e D t ion a ry o f C o mm e r e ;
’
C on taimn Ex pl an a ti on s
i i l t ac ti g usi
o f t he r n c pa Terms used in , a n d m od es o f tH m
p
ra n s n n ess a o e
an d A roa d .

B e e t o n s M o d ern E u ro p e a n A B i ography o f
'
9 . C e l e b rit ie s .

C onti t l M d W m
n en f N t w ho h
a en li d d i g th l t
an o en o o e ave ve ur n e as
H d d Years o w li i g
,

un re , r are n o v n .

B e e t on
’
s G u id e B ook t o t h e S t o ck E x ch an g e an d M o n ey
t W ith Hi ts t I
M ar k e . t d th Ch ces f S p c l t n o n v e s ors an e an o e u a ors . E t ly n i re
N w Ed it o p t 8 m li
,
.

e b di n , os , n en o ar s , rs .

B e e t o n s I n v e s t in g M o n e y w it h S a fe t y a n d P ro fi t
’
New a n d .

R i d E d iti ev se P t8 li on . os v o, n e n c ov ers , r s .

B e e t o n s R ea d y R e ck o n er W i th Ne w Ta bl e s an d much I n form a
'
.
,
ti ve be f
on n e c ll t d P t 8 t g l th
r ore o ec e . os v o , s r on c o , rs .

W e b s t er s S ixp e n n y Re a d y R e cko n e r 2 5 6 pp cl o th 6 d
’
. .
, , .

B eeto n ’
s C om pl e t e L e t t er W rit e r , for L a d ie s an d G en tl e m en .

t
Pos Evo, t
s ron g c o l th p i , r ce r s .

C o m p l e t e L ett e r W rit er fo r L a d i e s In l i n en cov ers , 6 d

’
B e e t on s . .

B e e t o n s C o m p l e t e L e t t e r W rit e r fo r G e n t l e m e n Pr ice 6 d
'
. .

Th e Ne w L e t t e r W rit e r fo r L o v e rs In lin en co vers, p rice 6 d . .

W e b s t e r’ s S hil lin g B o o k ke ep in g A C omprehen s iv e Gu i d e, -

.

pi
com r sin g a Cotl rso of Prac
'

ti ce in S i gl
n e an d Dou b le E n try . t
Pos 8 vo, cl o h, t u.

Lon don : WAR D w . er e : co .

, S a li sbu ry S quar e, E c . .
 E TIQ UE TTE B OO/( S e

T A ND A RD E T
HE S T IQUE TTE BOO/
(8 .

TH E M A NNE R S O F P O L IT E S O C I E T Y ; or Et i quette ,
L di G tl m
a d F m il i
es, A C mpl t G i d t V i s iti g E t t i in g
en e en an a es . o e e u a o n n er a n
lli g C t th T l t t C t h p & c ; w ith Hi t
. , .

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‘

n on v e rs a ion e ol e e. our s i n s on
fi g M s D m t Af
ra v e n
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g ilt 3
3 64 7 , . .

A L L A B O U T E TI Q U E TT E or The M an n e rs o i Polite S oci ety

’

,
L di G tl m d F mili ; C t hip Co ig
i g e P ti s R i d i g w
f or a es , en e d ce Cen an a es o ur s rre en , arv n ,
Di i g D re t llin g V i iti g
, ,

n n B ll R m M ress , a oo a rr a ar e , n , e . s n ,

& c & c Cro w 8 v cl h g lt

, , _ ,

. . 6d n o, oz i , z r. .

TH E C O M P L E T E TI Q U E TT E FO R L ADIE S A Guid e E .

t V i it i g E t t i i g ll i g w ith H in t t hip M g '

o. s n d T n C
er a n n an ra v e n s on our s , ar a e,

; I h St t S h ppi g At Ch h V f g C ti 0 l g
, ,

and D ress n t e re e , o n u rc lsl lfl on ve rs a on ,

i a
ti t G tl m P t Di T a ll i g O f ls Corre
, , .

on s o en e en an d R f re se n s, n n e rs , r ve n e rs e usa

p d c Co t hi p M P t8 loth
, , ,

s on en i g
e, & ur s , a rr a e, c. os vo, c , re.

TH E C O M P L E T E E T I Q U E TT E FO R G E NT L E M E N .

l
A Guid e t o the Ta b e , t he To i e t e a n d t h e Ba Ro o m w h H n s on Cour lt ll it i t t
ip M i M t t i
,

sh , us c, a n d a n n e rs , In t h e S re e , Atre n d a n Ce on L ad e s , V is itin . Dres e

D n n ers , C a rv in g , Win c s , t he Ba l R o o m, B uy n g a n d S e ing , the Smo in g an d
i l i ll .

illi
.

B ar d Rooms, & c Pos 8 v o, c l o t h, r s . t ‘

TH E C O M P L E T E TI Q U E TT E FO R FAM l L IE S
E . A
Gu d e i to C o n v e rsa t ion , P ti T l d th T il tt ; w ith Hi ts
ar es , ra v e , an e o e e n on
Domes ti c Af a rs Pos i . t a l thvo, c o , 1s .

H O S T E S S A ND G UE S T . A Gu i d e to the Et i quette of Di n n ers,

S pp L uh e rs . un c e on s , t he Pre ce d en ce of Gues t & W ith
s, c. n umerous E n g ra v
i ng F p 8 s. ca . vo , o rn a me n a t l w pp ra e r, r s . C o l t h g ilt 6d , 13. .

T
HE “
HOW HA ND BOOKS .

l
E ega n y boun d in tl c o l th g ilt ed g e s , w ith b eau ti f lly C l
u o oure d Fron tit pieoe,
p i 6d pp 31
,

r ce . ea ch or in w ra er, 1 .

N H o w t o Da n
0 ce o r, i
E t que tte o f the B al l Room .

o
t How to W oo o r, i ti
The E quet te o f C o ur tsh p an d M arriage.
? How
)
to Dr e s s ; o r The E ti que tte o f the To i l et
, .

w H ow to D i n e ; or E t i que tte o f the D i n n e r Tabl e

, .

e H ow to M a n a g e ; o r E ti que tte o f the Household , .

n How to E n t er t a i n ; o r E t i q ue tte fo r V i s i to rs

m
, .

How to B e h a v e ; o r The E ti que tt e o f S oc i ety

, .

c H ow to T ra v el ; o r E ti quette for S hi p Ra i l Coach

, , , , or S addl e .

fl " There el ega n t d l itt l e Al tm a n ]: w il l be f oun d u se nl Te t x

{
, an a t t r a c t iv e

B ook : f or t ier s ubj ect : to w h ich t / zey r e f e r t h ey a r e f ull

. eugg eet ir/e in te, a n d w
u n d ou bted l y s uper ior ze r t o fi zt bl zs /
'

t o a n y lzzt/ zed
'

L on don : WARD , L O CK 69 °
C S a l zr bmy S quare, E
'

. C' .
 HE WORLD LIBRARY OF S T
T ANDARD BOOKS .

A S er ies 4] S ta n d a rd ‘
Wor k
in cl u d in g m a n y of Me a ck n ow led g ed M ar k ” ,

p i eces oe r ton ca l a n d C r itica l L it er a tu r l , m a d e m or e access ibl e tha n hit he r to to

'

M e g en er a l r ea d er by p ublica t ion in a che a p f or m a n d a t a mod era te pr ice .

C rown 8 v c , cl oth g l t i .

ll m s
a
’
C on s t it u t io n a l is t o ry E n gl a n d . F m the H of ro
Ac cession of He V II t o t he e a th of Ge org e By H n n n v D II
y E
.

W th Lo M a ca ul a 's ss a on t he s a me i
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H A LLA M , R S
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L f
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9 70 pp , 5 3 i brar . d ti on , d e m
. 0 7r 6 d ; hal -ca l t ar , . . .

H ll m s
a a
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E urop e u n t h e M id d l e A g es 7 d ri g
20 pp. , 3s G d . . .

i E i f f
L brary dit on , d em 8 v o , 8 94 pp , 6 4 ; hal -cal , r es 6d
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y . 3 . .

H a ll a m s C h u rch a n d S t a t e By the Author of The Con

’
.

l H is t y f E g l d
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, 23. .

The W e a l t h of Na t i o n s ( A n I n qu iry i n t o t h e Na t u re a n d
Ca u f) By ADAM S M ITH
ses o G pp 3 6 d hal f l f 7 6d Lib y a 3. -
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it n , e Gd v o, oo .
, 35 a -
ca , r oe. .

A da m S m i t h s E ss a y s : M ora l S en t im en ts Astro n
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c. f Th W l th f N t i
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or o e ea o a on s. ., . .

H u me s H is t ory o f E n g l a n d From the I n v asion o f J ul ius

'
.

C t th R
e sa r l ti i 6 8 8 B y D A ID HUM I 3V l
o e ev o u on n 1 V E. n o s.
pp Lib y E d i t i d my 8
.

. ror. 8 ra r on . e v o, 1 3.

H u me s Es s ay s i L iterary M oral an d Pol itical 558 pp 3s 6 d

’
, , . . . .

M o n t a i gn e s E s s a y s All the Essays of M ich a el the S eign eu r

'
.

d M t ig
e T
on a l t d by C H A L n e. 6 84 p 3 6d ;
r an s a e R ES 1.
lf 7 Lib y E d i ti d my SW 9 pp h l fr if
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h lt a -ca
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W a r t o n s H is t ory of E n g l is h Poe t ry From the Elev en th to

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.

th S v e t th C
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en een en ur
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T h e C o urt a n d T i mes of Q u e e n E l iz ab e t h By L UCY .

A mm . 5 30 pp .
, 33 6d
. .

E d m un d B u rk e s C ho i c e Pi eces C on tain in g the S eech

’
.

th L w f Li b l R fl
e a i o R l ti i F
e the S lim e d ec t on s on e vo u on n ran ce, on n e an
t i ful Abr idgme t f E g li h H i y 3 64
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B eau , n o n s s t or . 3. .

H erb ert s Au t o b i ogra p hy a n d H i st ory of E n gl an d un der

’

H en ry V III By E n w L dH . t Ch b y 17 p p 3 6 d a n o, or an gar . o
‘

e r ur . 0 .
, s . .

W a l p o l e s An ecdo t es of Pa i n t i n g in E n gl a n d By H ORAC E
’
.

WALPO L 5 38 pp y 6 4 E. . . .

M C u ll o ch s Pr i n c i p l es o f Po l i t i c a l E co n om y Wi th S k etch
‘ '
. .

f h Ri e d P g f th S i By J R M CULLOCH
‘
36 pp
2;
o s an ro r ess o e c en ce . . . . 0 .
,

L oc k e s L et t ers on To l er a t i o n By J OHN Locx s 400 pp

’
. . .
,

E ss a y s on B e aut y an d T a s t e : On Beauty, by FRANC I S , L or d

LL D 3 4 pp ar 6 d
t

Ju n “ : On Tas te , by ARcu i n Am A n s on , . . 2 .
, . .

M i l t o n s E a r l y B r it a i n un d er Troj a n Roman an d S ax on
’
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u W th M n n s E g l n d un d er Richard III d i a
’
n a .
, an
B AG N s n gl d un d r H en r y V III
.

43 pp ar 64
’
an e . 0 . , . .

M a c a ul a y : R ev i ew s E ss a y s a n d Po ems 6 50 pp 3 3 6d
" ’

. . .
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ha l f ca l f 7s Gd
-
, . .

L on d on : WARD , L OCK C0 .
, S ubwa y S qua r e, E20 -
.
 TH E WOR L D R RY t in ued L IB A — con .

2 4 S y d n e y S m i t h s E ss a y s S ocia l a n d Po litica l
’
.
5 50 pp 33 6 d , . .
, . .

25 L ord B a co n
. C on tai i g the P ofi cien ce an d Ad van cemen t of
. n n r
L i g th N w A l ti H i t i l S k t h
ea rn n e d E ey 5 3 pp t an s, s or ca e c es an ss a s. 0

3 6 d ; h lf
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ca , s. .

26 E ss a y s by T hom a s de Q u i n ce y Con tai n in g Con fession s of

.
.

O pi m E t
an B tl y P u G th L tt t Y g M &
a er, en e , arr, oe e, e ers o a oun an , c.
s r n a 6d
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2 7 J ose p h u s (T he C om p l e t e W ork s of
. T an slated by WI LL IAM r
‘V H T N A M Wi h Lif f th A t h
IS O , d M gi l N .
g ivi g t h
t e o e u o r, a n ar na ot e s n e
E L i b y E d i t i d my E
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